Work Text:
The forest has never felt this haunting.
The orange hues painted by the sun, felt like a fire about to ignite. Things that used to be a pleasant are like knife being stabbed inside of them. They can see a figure, familiar, telling them to “cheer up”! How can they do that when they know that their end is near as every step leads them to it…
They could feel it… the coldness of a warm breeze as they slowly approach the place of destination, they couldn't run, they couldn't scream for help, all their movements where control by it…
The Soul. A parasite that had taken over their life…
Every step felt more heavier than the last, every breath they took was shorter and hesitant, all they wanted was to go back to their home, to Susie, to anyone. They were moving on their own with no control over their own limbs, they dont know why its doing this. Suddenly, they can see a silhouette in the horizon, shadowed by the setting sun… In another place, in another time this image would’ve have been filled with joy, hope for a better future. But in this moment-
It felt like a death sentence.
They cannot hear her words, they cannot hear her cries, they cannot hear her pleads, all of it felt like static to their ears. They cannot hold her as she knelt to the ground defeated, all they can do is watch, watch as she decides what her next step would be and slowly rose from her place, pleading them.
Pleading for a command, one that they can only give
A command that they both know it would mean their demise.
And then….
They wake up in a cold sweat.
Hyperventilating as they inspect their surroundings
As their eyes scanned the place surrounding them, they are not longer in the forest, they are… in their room; obscured by the dark of the night, barely being illuminated by the moon and the glow-in-the-dark stars on the side of the now-completely empty part of their older brother. They start to feel their body with their shaky hands. Their hands couldn't comprehend the sensation or the textures that they were feeling.
They look down and saw themself… they are in their pajamas. A black t-shirt with some rock band image and sweatpants.
They feel their face with their hands, there’s some sort of cold-metal like accessories around the place where their mouth is situated… they quickly realize is piercings.
Kris checked their phone, it's 2:35am on a Monday of the year 20XX
Quickly, they read the date twice just to make sure, and then they remember…
It’s been 4 years since they had the Soul. It’s stupid, Kris thinks –they should've had been over this already, it's painful how often they keep having nightmares of their time with that thing, but the difference this time is that it wasn't a memory they recall.
But somehow , that dream didn't felt like a their usual ones
No… It felt like a memory, a memory from a past time they know they never lived…
Which is strange since the Soul never did those choices or actions… or maybe…
It’s better if they just take a walk to cool off.
Slowly, they took the blanket off them and sat on the edge of the bed still shaking from the dream… They pressed their fingernails hard on their face, trying to use the pain as a distraction of the wave of disruptive thoughts.
The moment they finally felt themself calming down, Kris stood up and went downstairs. As they approach the bathroom, they could smell the slight sweetness of a butterscotch pie their mom made for them (which they promised they wouldn't eat without her) even if the temptation was palpable, they decided to keep their word and just wash off their face.
And maybe just take a slight crumble that was on the side of the pie, just to satiate the hunger.
They knew that the door had a scratching sound problem, opening it now will probably scare their mom who was sleeping soundly right now, and if they did that, she will probably start asking questions, and they dont want to worry her with their answers.
So they decided to do the most logical solution to their problem.
And just go out through their room’s window.
It's a surprise for them how easy it was to do it, even thought now they are bit older and with a slight wrist problem from all the instruments they have using on the course of their college years. They were glad that they were able to go to college, years ago they barely had an idea of what their future would be
Or if they will ever have a future to begin with.
As they walked around the dark hometown's street, they quickly realize their mind was still dispersed, breathing in and out wasn't helping, the walk around the neighborhood wasn't making the thoughts of their nightmare away from inside them. All they could think off was the feeling of hopelessness, being unable to move, being the cause of that version of their friend finally reaching her breaking point.
Maybe they DO need to talk to someone right now.
Kris' hand reached for their phone out from their pj's pocket, sitting on the crosswalk while they scrolled through the contact list. They could probably call Susie, she always had a way to make them smile even in their darkest moment, and she knew the whole deal with the thing.
But in all honestly, there's a line of things she may never understand or understood the depth to when it comes to the Soul.
But someone else does.
Someone that was the living embodiment of knowing too much for her own good.
She's probably asleep, they thought but Ralsei always said to ring her if they ever need anything, and they seriously need someone right now.
So they called
And waited…
…
Before they thought about hanging up she finally picked before it could be sent to voice mail.
"…kris?" They seriously tried to contain their giggle, it was kinda funny to hear her voice groggily
"Did i wake you up?"
"…" Ralsei's stayed silent for a moment before responding "what do you think?"
Geez, snarky.
"Sorry im still trying to… think properly…" Kris could fathom the sound of bed sheets being moved slightly. They've always known that Ralsei's friendliness was 80% of the time genuine and in other occasions, a mask she used to try to hide her true feelings.
To hear her talk to them like that, it made their chest feel a bit funny.
"Sorry, Rals"
"It's fine, sorry for responding like that… what happened?"
Discussing this stuff over the phone it felt as if they weren't giving it the importance that it needed, they hesitated before answering
"Is it okay if we talk it in person?"
"Right now?" Ralsei said surprised "Kris… it's literally- it's literally 3am."
Both of them stayed silent for a moment and then she replied
"Where are you right now?"
"A block away from your building"
Kris could hear the slight sound of things moving around on the other end
"Let me grab my jacket and I'll be down in 5, ok?"
Ralsei said before ending the call.
For some reason, the wait for her arrival felt eternal, they kept looking towards the direction from her and Susie's apartment complex, tried to keep themselves distracted with anything, moving their leg up and down, walking around in circles or just counting the amount of ants that were approaching a piece of candy that was on the ground near them.
They were already on their 30th ant counted until finally they saw a pair of pink and white pants in front of them. Their eyes looked up to see Ralsei, with a very noticeable bed hair, a white shirt and a black jacket they haven't seen in a while.
"Where did you get that jacket?" they asked curiously
"Oh, yeah it was a… Noelle hand-me-down, she said she wasn't using it anymore and so i tried it, we liked how it looked on me" She said showing off the jacket slightly "She said it clashed in a good way with my style, like a "Jack on the Christmas town from Nightmare before Christmas" clash."
That was one of our favorite movie as kids, they thought but Kris specially liked when Jack was trying to put his own twist on Christmas, something that Noelle didn't because "its not Christmas at all. its just making it spooky and ugly!"
Good times indeed.
"It looks good on you" they said while standing up and stretching their rigid body
"Thanks!" Ralsei smiled at them "So… what's bothering you?"
Oh right, They slightly forgot why they called Ralsei in the first place.
"So i had this dream-"
They described to her what happened in it: the dread they felt and how real it all looked for them. It was strange to see Ralsei not even flinching or being overly worried, she was just listening attentively and trying to piece the things together. She asked if they ever saw the end of that dream, and the thing is they didn't, it just stopped when they were about to say something.
"that's curious… " Ralsei said looking at the pavement as they walked side by side
"It's strange but in a way i feel like i lived that but haven't at the same time…" Kris thought about the other possibility, one that they didn't liked to assume but it could explain it
"Ralsei were you aware of the SAVE files, right?"
"I was, why?"
"What if… that dream was a distant memory from another one or even… "a deleted file" maybe the Soul did choose those things that led me to that moment and just maybe… they regret it at the last minute?"
Ralsei hummed in response, it does make sense, she was somewhat aware of the choices the Soul was provided and she sort of knew the outcome of each one, some surprised her and others mortified her slightly but they all had more important things to worry about: saving the world and stop the darkness from overflowing. So, she couldn't think more of their situation
However, she was aware that certain choices, certain actions gave outcomes that she didn't know anything of, outcomes that made their story slightly off putting…
"You wanna know something?"
Kris turned to look at her, her gaze fixated on the steps she was taking, her long fluffy ears covering her face slightly so they couldn't see her expressions
"I always had this dread back then... I remember that on the day of the festival, i had this… Irrational fear of something bad happening to you… but i tried to NOT let it affect me because, of course! It was irrational! like a-an intrusive thought because i knew there was nothing to worry about!"
Kris noticed her voice cracking slightly, her hands started twitching and playing with the hem of the jacket while she talked.
"But it was just this feeling… of something going wrong and you… never coming back."
She turned her head towards them, sighing as she said
"I guess if it regret it, it was a for a good reason and maybe even if it did choose those options back then, it regretted it's outcomes and decided to do the good thing. Sometimes curiosity kills a cat and maybe it got a good spook out of it."
Kris just looked at her, maybe Ralsei was right, of course its a possibility, but is still annoying how that thing still has its grips on their brain after all this time, to the point that it haunts their dreams and doesn't let them sleep properly. Both of them didn't noticed that they were walking towards the shore of the lake, seeing a completely different view from the one in their dream it kinda gave them a reality check.
While the sun was haunting them in their dream almost blinding them with its light, the moon gave the lake a dream-like look with the slight movement of the waves and the moonlight hitting the water just right making its reflection look like stars.
Once they were close enough, Kris decided to sit on the shore and after a split second, Ralsei joined them.
The lake was always their favorite place, even when they were all kids and just fooling around.
The memories of Azzy and Dess curled up on the sand while Kris and Noelle were trying to built a sand fort around them, or the time they found a crab and tried to scare Noelle with it, only to be smashed in the head with a stick by Dess. Or the afternoons when Kris fell asleep om the sand after playing all day and felt either their mom's or dad's hands picking them up and carrying them back home, lovingly tucking them in their bed.
Or Susie and Kris' late night hangouts after a long day of classes and just sat in a comforting silence looking at the distance….
And now, Ralsei and Kris were sharing one moment like this, they turned their head and saw Ralsei just lost in her thoughts, her glasses reflected a bit of the light that was projected by the water.
Maybe the awful feeling wont go away
But somehow, with her being here, it does make it slightly better…
"You know... this is reminding me of something"
"Hm?"
"When i was a kid, back when... Asriel was dating Dess, they used to sneak around a lot, specially at night. Dess was night person, i dont remember a day when she had a full night sleep." Kris sighed melancholic, slightly guilty of not realizing certain signs sooner.
"Anyway, she would throw tiny rocks at our bedroom window and i always remember Asriel telling me that 'he was going out for a moment and to pleaase dont tell mom about it, and if i didn't, i would get ice cream'." - they said that changing the tone dramatically at the end, causing Ralsei to giggle
"Of course, i couldn't say no to that!" A mischievous smile formed on their face. " And maaaybe... when he didn't keep his end of the deal... there was this huge chance that i may tease him with mom about it, which always got me double ice cream that sometimes i would share with Noelle..."
Kris' smile slowly faded at the end, its weird, to think about those days when together they thought that their happiness would stay the same forever... oh, how wrong they all were... Maybe they shouldn't think about that right now, while they are with her looking at them. Wait- she is looking at them right now.
"Anyway, dont you have some childhood memories?"
"M-me?! i… i d-don- Ralsei turned away slightly blushing from their gaze - i... i dont recall anything to be honest..." she started playing with her fingers nervously, "i dont think i ever had that, Kris... i was a being born in darkness... with no relatives or a father or a mother that raised me, from the moment i gained consciousness of myself. I've always been alone... Until you and Susie barged into my life... "
The humming sound of the waves touching the sand and the cold breeze touching her fur, was melancholic to her. After all, that was her only existence back then, the memory of a sensation and complete cold darkness.
The silence that followed their conversation was comforting, Ralsei wont lie that even back then, one of the things that brought her peace was just sitting in silence with them- to many thoughts, to many worries while they were on their quest to save the world, and it was in those slight moments where that thing wasn't there to watch her every move or thoughts (after she find out it could do that) that she could find a bit of serenity.
She didn't realize how focused she was in her thoughts until she saw Kris standing up, walking towards the edge of the lake, she watched closely as they crouched down and feel the water their fingers
"Hey Rals..."
Ralsei hummed in response
"Why dont we go swimming?" they said turning their head towards her
"W-what?! Right now?!" Kris nodded in response "But- i dont have any swimsuit on me right now, but i can go back to the apart-"
"I mean- a swimsuit its like... underwear but for water, so-" They started grabbing the edge of their shirt and pulling it out. Ralsei put her hands to cover her eyes.
Oh right, she wasn't used to seeing them like that, normally Susie and Kris never had that type of awkwardness when it came to changing clothes in front of each other and Ralsei always left the room slightly freaked out when they did.
"Dude, im not completely naked..." they said showing off their binder and black shorts they had underneath
"It's still a bit inappropriate..."
"Don't you wanna go swimming with me?"
Ralsei took her hands slightly off her face and looked at them, they knew they weren't lying, and maybe, just maybe it could be fun specially with them- Gosh! Why does she feel like an awkward teen again.?! It's just water, and it's just her friend Kris! Why is she feeling so weirded by just a piece of clothing! Damn the awkwardness, she should try it!
"I do actually..." She took off her glasses and placed on her side before standing up from the sand nervously, her legs and arms were shaking as she grabbed the hem of her shirt.
Ralsei didn't wanted to see Kris’ reaction at all, so she closed her eyes as hard she could while she undressed herself. It was only until she was on her shorts and sport bra that she slowly open her eyes just to see them looking at them intensely, is their body really that bad…? She tried to cover herself causing Kris to giggle
"W-what’s so funny?!"
"Nothing, nothing!"
you look… very pretty they thought, silently thanking the darkness of the night was covering any trace of redness their face was showing at that moment.
They slowly walked backwards into the water while still looking at her, surprisingly the water for them wasn't that cold, they maneuvered their hand for her get in. Ralsei started walking slowly towards the edge, still covering herself, her gaze fixated on the slow movement of the waves going in and out of the shore, she looked up to see Kris already halfway into the water.
"It’s not that cold i promise"
That was what she needed to add her paw into the water and immediately backing off shivering
" 'Its not that cooold' you ass!!" She screamed
"It’s not that cold, for me" Kris said rolling their eyes and walking towards her, they extended their hands for Ralsei
"Here, lets go together"
" Promise you wont try to drown me?" she smiled at them while taking hold of both of their hands
"Nope" devilish grin forming on their face as they said it.
Still, she didn't let go of their hand as they walked towards the water, it was still cold for her as the waves hit Ralsei's body and more of her was covered in it, but… in a way, the heat of their hands together made the cold around them feel comforting… They let go as they felt the water finally reaching both of their shoulders and the enough depth to be able to float.
They slowly started swimming around her, for some reason they couldn't move their eyes away from her as they circle around her.
Ok, this is too much for their own good
Kris decided to just splashed her a big wave of water causing her to be completely soaked now, they giggled at the view of a mopped Ralsei until they got a big splash too, Both of them taking it as a declaration of war.
Sometimes Kris would submerged grabbing with their mouth water until their cheeks expanded like a puffer fish and just throw her water from her behind and she would try to splash the water as fast as she could so they couldn't attack back.
Even thought they were having fun just the two of them, in that moment, Both of them wished they had Susie and Noelle here as their backup: Even if they were on the same team, Susie would probably grab Kris from the legs and submerged them just for funsies and maybe Noelle and Ralsei would team up against two of them, creating silly names for each team. And maybe they wouldn't won but maybe they would since Susie wouldn’t go all rough play with Noelle (she won't say it but her girlfriend will always be her soft spot).
They kept fighting until they ran out of energy and just accepted armistice
Which meant floating around the lake in complete peace and silence.
Kris had their eyes fixated in the sky letting the waves slowly move them around the water, breathing in and out as they calm down from their fight with a smile on their face.
…Right now, they finally understood why Azzy and Dess always wanted to go swimming in the lake at night
No prying eyes or judgment from anyone around the town, it could be just them existing on a big body of water, with the stars decorating the scene and a person you hold dear to you by your side living the same moment…
Kris noticed Ralsei slowly drifting towards them with her eyes closed and a calm expression on her face, a grin formed on their face as they got an idea. They submerged from under her and grabbed her leg causing her to panic and stand up, rapidly looking down, just to see an underwater Kris going up from underneath her and throwing water on her face with their mouth.
"Eww, what's wrong with you?!" She tried sounding annoyed but her smile was giving her away
"Many things"
"I can tell" she said looking at them and the two of them just burst out laughing
As their laughter faded they looked at each other, for some reason Kris couldn't look away or pull out a dumb comment about the leaf on her fur, or the way she looked right now with those beautiful pinkish eyes, and the moonlight hitting her fur just right causing it to look as if she was shinning as bright as the moon…
It was mesmerizing.
They didn't noticed the moment they let their fingers grasp the leaf, taking it out without saying a word, or how their hand caressed her curled fur slowly, tracing it with their palms until it reach the end of her flopped ears, or how their palm held her cheek and their eyes fixated on her face, admiring it as if she was a piece of art in a museum.
Ralsei stayed still through it all , their eyes were like magnets to her, not being able to look away or say anything. The two of them didn't realize how close they were getting until she could feel their breath hitting her face slightly
"…what are you doing?" she said timidly they could barely her voice , it sounded like a muffled whisper on their ears
They barely registered how close they were of closing the distance between them until both of them heard what sounded like a timber-like-song, causing Ralsei to flinch
"Shit." she whispered "It-it’s my phone, sorry" She said while swimming away from them and walking towards the shore, putting her glasses on and grabbing her phone from her jacket that was still laying somewhere close to the shore, Kris stayed there completely freeze in the moment, did they actually were about to-
"IT’S 5 AM ALREADY?! Oh god, I'm so sorry Kris, i have an early shift today and im the one who opens the café and-"
"It’s fine…" they said dissapointed as they got out of the lake looking at Ralsei while she was trying to find the rest of her clothes
"Dammit, my shirt soaked, i thought i left it closer to yours but also i wasn’t sure where to look." She said grabbing her jacket
"Welp guess this will do then" Ralsei was getting ready to put in on until Kris stopped her, extending their hand offering their shirt
"Kris, thank you but- I have a jacket i can deal with it"
"Take it." they said keeping their arm extended still offering "I look like i have a crop top so it doesn't matter and you seemed more colder than me, take it." they turned their face away blushing profusely.
"Oh. You sure?"
They nodded
"In that case…" she grabbed their shirt and putting it on, surprisingly even thought her body was a bit bigger than Kris’ it fitted her nicely, not tight but also not loose either. She could feel the slight aroma of cinnamon in it.
She better not think too long about this information.
As both of them finished dressing themselves, they stared at each other, they really didn't wanted this moment to end, but rent is due and maybe they’ll had another opportunity like this later. Plus, Kris doesn't want their mom to know about their sneak away at midnight, she’s done with them doing that after the whole prophecy thing.
"Are you free later today?" They said, scratching their neck nervously
"Today i have a full day shift, i dont think i can hang out until 8pm…" Ralsei sounded dissapointed as she said it. "But, is Susie’s day off today, maybe you two can hang out?"
"Hmm… Wait she isn't visiting Noelle today, right?"
"No, she is going shopping with her mom, surprisingly"
"Oh, ok."
"Yeah."
…
The two of them stayed still in silence, not knowing what to say or do next, this is too awkward, they seriously don't want to see Ralsei’s face right now, they don't want to acknowledge what almost happened between them. Did they always felt this way towards her? They dont know what prompted to just try and go for a kiss…
Kris was too lost in thought to see Ralsei walking fast towards them and giving them a quick kiss on their cheek, Causing them to turn their face towards her so fast they almost cracked their neck.
"Um- Thank you, for the shirt" She said, avoiding eye contact, praying that they dont see how much their hands were shaking right now or how red her face was right now.
They nodded, looking at her with their eyes completely opened, like a deer caught in headlights. She walked off from them and just starting walking fast towards the street, leaving Kris completely in shocked and freeze in place.
They did their best to not think about the feeling of her lips on their cheek, their fingers softly tracing the place where Ralsei kissed How soft was her fur against their hand.
As Kris did their walk back home, they truly didn't wanted to think about how everything made them feel inside, how her smile made their heartbeat skip a beat or two. Too fast, too soon, too much in their brain right now. Why do their interactions always had this tint of blurry boundaries, never too platonic but never too romantic too… This is Weird, they ARE weird. They truly DON'T want to think of the possibility of what would've happen if that damn alarm didn't interrupt them.
But at the same time… they wouldn't change this night for anything.
Kris did their best to not make any sound as they climbed up to their bedroom window and slumped into the room’s carpet, apparently very loudly because they heard their mom screaming their name from the hallway.
Shit.
They have exactly 1 minute to go back to bed and pretend they were asleep this whole time, but sadly Toriel was faster than them (or maybe she was just in her room) and opened their bedroom door .
"Kris." she said with a serious tone "What did i tell you about sneaking out late at night? AND, why didn't you use the staircase, i told you to use it if you want to go down from your window." Toriel grabbed her snout with her fingers as she reprimand her child
"Sorry." they said with their face still on the carpet
"Where did you go, anyway? your hair is wet" She said sitting on the ground in front of them
"Swimming."
"At Midnight?"
"Yeah"
Toriel knew that was the only explanation she would get for now. She sighed, smiling as she stood up
"You and your brother have a very peculiar way to go on spontaneous dates with your partners"
Before they could even deny the accusation, she left the room. Damn it, now their mom think they were seeing someone (are they truly doing that? with Her of all people?), the good or bad thing is that she doesn't know they are not dating (yet? Maybe? Wait what-) but that means and she will have a field day when Ralsei and Susie come to visit them and she tries to pry on who's the mysterious person they are probably fancying
(but they have a feeling that she has a hunch on who this person is)
They turned their body to look at the ceiling, silently thanking their nightmare for this night and the time shared with their fluffy friend, they thought as their eyes slowly closed and they finally drift to sleep.
Ralsei slowly closed the door of her room and just slumped into the floor grabbing the shirt that Kris gave her, Kris gave her their shirt. THEIR shirt, what does this mean, why did they got so close at the lake, She has noticed how strange they have behaved around her every since they came back from college. At first she associated their change as maybe nostalgia? Maybe guilt? They had been behaving weirdly before arriving hometown after their college semester: no calls or messages, they still messaged Susie so at least they all knew they were alive. But they apologized and they all moved on.
So does that mean that…
NOPE NOPE NOPE, THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE, they have never seen her like that, they are friends. FRIENDS. Nothing else, nothing more, they know each other for years and even when she was completely enamored by them (which she isn’t now) they never gave her signs that maybe they do like her like that as well.
But this is different, and its been years and now this happened and made her relieve all those old feelings, the way their hair slowly drifted with the wind, the warmth of their hands and cheek. Oh shit, she DID kissed their cheek- She hugged herself as she completely fell into the ground – Maybe she never got over them, maybe all this time she just pushed all those feelings down the drain, because deep down she knew she held no chance to someone like Kris…
She took her glasses before she made pressed on them too hard and immediately covered her face.
Ralsei stayed in the ground like that until she heard footsteps coming from the corridor, steps heavy enough for it to be Susie’s.
Wait. SUSIE!
Shit, if she sees her with Kris’ shirt she will have the day of her life making fun of her, she took off their shirt and hided it inside her closet, deep enough that you could barely see its color. And grabbed her work uniform, trying to look as presentable as possible, she checked herself in the mirror, she saw her eye bags were noticeable thought, but she could just brush it off as not sleeping well, everyone knows that she sometimes gets very vivid nightmares.
And the wet hair? She recently showered, easy excuse! You didn't hear the shower? You probably were in deep slumber, dear Susie! Ralsei thought as she listed all the possible questions that Susie may ask her. But deep down, she knows that Susie can smell bullshit from miles away.
As Ralsei closed the door behind her, she saw Susie already eating her cereal on the kitchen table, she looked like she was still barely waking up
"Good morning Susie!" Ralsei said with cheerful tone… maybe too cheerful for Susie’s ears, as she walked past her.
Susie hummed in response, grabbing the bowl that had her cereal and giving it a good slurp
In the kitchen, Ralsei grabbed her favorite bowl, a Green with pink bowl with little white stars on it, she approached the table, her hand near the cereal box
"I heard someone opening the door last night." Susie said opening one of her eyes, looking at Ralsei.
She stopped from grabbing the cereal, trying to maintain her composure
"O-oh Y-yeah! I accidentally dropped my… keys! on the b-bushes last night and went to pick them up!" She said serving herself cereal
Her friend just looked at her, not entirely convinced of her excuse, but decided not to press further, for now. Ralsei served herself cereal, ate it as fast as she could, waved goodbye at her purple friend and left the apartment, escaping from the imminent interrogation that Susie will do to her the moment she has ANY free time.
Susie stood up from her chair, looked through the window that had a view of the street below them as Ralsei left for work in hurry, almost running. and whispered:
"You little shit, i saw you with Kris through the window last night."