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Summary
Much later, Ilya will blame it on everything he did.
He will blame it on his lack of communication with his own husband, on his headspace, lost in the beauty of Shane Hollander, on the circumstances he created. It was solely his fault.
And he will also know, that Shane would disagree and blame himself, would even take more hurt on himself, as long as Ilya was fine.
The truth lies somewhere in between.
Or maybe nobody was at fault and some nights were bound to be a shitshow. But this realization will come much, much later for Ilya.
.
They try something new.