Work Text:
Baek Saheon, a.k.a. Section Chief Viper, was having a pretty decent day.
He’d been assigned a fairly harmless Darkness to collect materials for the Research Team. And if he played his cards right, this Darkness also promised high item yields.
But, to satisfy both the entry condition and anti-embezzlement protocol (curses to the higher-ups who still pretended to have integrity), he had to drag along one other Field Exploration Team employee. Of course, Goral had been his first choice.
She was capable, cautious, and most importantly, close-lipped about things that were none of her business! He knew this because he’d tested her a few times before reaching a solid conclusion. She didn’t actively intervene so long as: 1) someone wasn’t getting hurt, 2) injustices weren’t being done, and 3) her own wellbeing wasn’t in danger.
He liked people who had a good head on them. And, begrudgingly, he liked her strong character and values. It was admirable, remaining upright and kind despite everything that Daydream threw at her. At them.
“Section Chief, it’s all prepared.”
He looked up.
Goral sat on a picnic blanket facing the river, a small book and basket by her side. Despite the cute spread, she was wearing her usual business suit and mask; the contrast would probably tip off onlookers that something was amiss. If there were any onlookers, anyway. Luckily, Daydream was willing to seal and block off this area to better control the profitable Darkness here!
He unbuttoned his jacket, flipping the ends out as he sat down next to her. No need to ruin good buttons and the crisp lines of his clothing already.
Together, they quietly observed the landscape. The sun set over the buildings, light spilling across the scene and befitting the phrase “all in the golden afternoon.” So began their patient watch for a certain small, white rabbit, which they’d have to chase to enter today’s Darkness.
(He was hoping the sunset lighting wouldn’t make the rabbit appear pink … he was already creeped out by the plushie that haunted his life despite his attempts to surreptitiously remove it. It didn’t deserve to be tucked so snugly in a certain person's breast pocket …!)
As if reading the direction of his thoughts, Goral asked in a toneless voice, “Section Chief, why are you dating a member of the Bureau?”
…?
…!
Baek Saheon turned very, very slowly to look at her. With one eye, he scanned her face and posture … he would’ve applauded her stoic expression, if only she hadn’t revealed that she was, in fact, an annoying busybody like everyone else.
His previously high regard for her fell down a few notches. Well, at least she’d picked a private spot to ask. Still—
“You’ve got guts, asking me that out of the blue.”
“If you didn’t want people to find out, then you wouldn’t take calls in the middle of the work day.”
Baek Saheon tsked. “So, you enjoy listening in on people’s private conversations.”
“Only if you make it so easy—”
“Ah-ah!” he shushed her. “Save your words. Don’t speak of this again.”
She clicked her tongue, not deterred at all by his dismissal. “The Bureau actively hinders us Daydream employees. And we antagonize them by putting profit over people. Don’t you think your relationship qualifies as a conflict of interest?”
“Oh, Goral, are you going to report me? Didn’t take you for the ruthless type!” His hand snuck towards his pocket, just in case. He always carried around his Fountain Pen.
Goral sighed and appeared to consider her options. Then, she raised her hands, palms out. “Section Chief, I’m not the type to expose other’s love lives. But I have concerns about the specific agent you’re dating. Concerns for Agent Grapes, that is.”
Baek Saheon, without hesitation, redirected his hand to his belt and unfurled his Kaa’s Coils rope. He had her pinned and immobilized in seconds.
“Shhhh,” he warned, when she opened her mouth. He raised one of his gloved hands, hovering it above her face. She pressed her lips together, eyes shaking. “Now, we don’t go around making our relationship public for personal reasons. But my partner wouldn’t appreciate a snoop sniffing about his identity.”
Goral flinched as he leaned closer.
“If you’d like to explain yourself, blink twice. If not, then I’m dragging you into the Darkness like this and I’ll see how you fare.”
She blinked twice. He examined her for another moment before slowly loosening his rope.
She coughed, then hoarsely said, “I didn’t intend to infringe upon your privacy or his, Section Chief. It’s only your carelessness during your supposed ‘smoke breaks’ that allowed me to overhear. Several times, I’ve stumbled upon you freely saying his codename for all to hear. Maybe it’s Agent Grapes who wouldn’t appreciate your lips being so loose.”
Damn, she really had a spine! But was he really the reason Goral knew about Kim Soleum? Baek Saheon mentally reviewed the last few weeks and scowled.
He rarely phoned his partner (preferring to text) … actually, he rarely used his phone at all during work hours, but these days he’d been so frustrated by those damn goody two-shoes at the Bureau! Before he knew it, he’d begun using “smoke breaks” as a reason to excuse himself, speed-walk up to the rooftop, and tap “CALL” on his only favorited contact. To check in, and make sure his partner wasn’t being overworked.
Fuck. It really was his mistake, letting his emotions distract him at work!
Still … “Why, pray tell, did you keep that information to yourself for so long? Hmm? Goral-ssi.” He play-gasped. “Don’t tell me you were a homophobe this entire time!”
“Absolutely not!! Ugh, giving me the ick just by saying that …” She visibly shivered. “No, I had to take some time to mentally adjust. Associating you with Agent Grapes is just so unnatural.”
“Oh?”
“Don’t ‘oh?’ me! You’re like the devil and he an angel! Opposites!”
“... they say ‘opposites attract’ for a reason,” he smugly said.
She ground her teeth. “ALSO! You’re my superior and are, frankly, the least caring person I know.” She nodded with her chin at the ropes wrapped around her, to make her point. “Plus, you’ve built up a big ‘work-first’ reputation. Forgive me for never imagining you in a, a romantic context! Holding hands, kissing, dating, none of those suit you!”
Baek Saheon grunted and then fully retracted Kaa’s Coils. Goral fell into a sprawl at his feet.
He took advantage of the few seconds of distraction to force down the very slightest redness that had stubbornly risen on his cheeks. By the time she looked up, his face had cooled into its usual complexion beneath the mask.
Collected, calm. Unlike his thoughts.
… ahhhh, where did his defenses go?? Was it because they’d kept their relationship so private, that someone pointing it out was enough to cause him to crumble!? And furthermore, he reacted like a blushing virgin when someone imagined him and his partner kissing each other??
That should’ve been nothing!!
Ugh. This was a weakness, and a problem. A problem he couldn’t solve now, but he’d have to bring it up once he returned home tonight. He couldn’t have his nonchalant, semi-psychopathic Section Chief persona at work become compromised because he couldn’t control his emotions. Anyway, his partner had been hinting at wanting to tell others about them. Surely, he’d agree.
Yes, maybe it was time for them to take the next step—public displays of affection!
An uneasy truce was called when The White Rabbit sprinted past Goral and Baek Saheon and they had to give chase—rather, he tried to shut her down but she threatened to “talk later about her concerns.” Baek Saheon didn’t understand why she was so invested, but he had a sneaking suspicion why.
His partner was a generous, bleeding heart, after all!
He recalled a time when Goral had returned from a Darkness, unusually shaken but with a brighter light in her eyes. She’d said something about a compassionate agent who’d saved everyone.
At the time, he’d chalked it up to any old magnanimous Bureau bastard. But of course, looking back, that was probably when Goral met Agent Grapes. And Goral, like most civilians who’d encountered his partner, had become enamored by his aura of goodness!
He didn’t really need an additional conversation to confirm his suspicions, but since she wanted to talk later, he’d surely grill her about it later. He nodded to himself just as The White Rabbit they were chasing jumped into a large hole in the ground.
Right. Time to focus on the Darkness.
For this one, there was a simple manual with a simple solution. Follow the script of this Al*ce’s Adventures in W*nderland rip-off within a fairly wide margin of error, and it’d be smooth sailing. The manual itself was basically a summary of the aforementioned story, and more importantly, a list of all the major and minor characters within.
Upon entry, participants were assigned roles to play. Luckily, the odds of being assigned a character doomed to die were quite low when only two employees entered.
One’s role could be discerned immediately by their outfit change.
He looked down and smirked.
Crimson red and obsidian black, with heart motifs, everywhere his eye could see.
A long silk gown with criss-crossing embroideries was cinched at his waist in a flattering way, even with his lack of curves. Its skirts billowed out to just barely brush the ground, ruffled in layers that resembled serpent scales.
He lifted the fabrics to reveal glinting, glossy black boots, boosting his already-tall height a few more centimeters. As he dropped the skirt edges again, his cape fell forward, which he adjusted.
It was made of warm, silken furs that glimmered an unnatural hue. It caught the light as he fixed it to drape across his shoulders and down his arms, the brush of it against his skin dampened by the skin-tight opera gloves which concealed everything from his fingertips to his biceps.
He delicately extended his gloved fingers, picking up a mirror at his elbow so that he could examine the finishing touches.
His face still looked like his own, but his hair had been slicked back and kept in place by heart-shaped pins tucked just behind each ear. And to top it off, a starry black crown perched, flaring like goat horns on the left and right. Rubies and garnets were embedded throughout, resembling a galaxy full of glinting red stars.
Damn.
He looked good.
Without thinking, he pulled out his smartphone (hidden in a convenient pocket sewn into his skirts—nice!) and snapped a selfie. His lovely partner would appreciate this photographic proof. Later. Maybe even for them to enjoy together, pleasurably.
“Wow, Section Chief!” The sound of clapping filled the throne room, bouncing off the towering columns and high-backed chairs.
He relaxed his hand, letting the mirror tilt sideways. He dropped his gaze to meet Goral’s. A quick inspection and he identified her character as The Cheshire Cat. And he, The Red Queen.
Good, they were both major characters with a certain plot immunity and access to most areas. Which meant access to most items, too!
“You look fantastic in that dress,” she laughed. Her own purple and blue dress rippled in and out of sight even though she was motionless.
She sounded genuine. So he relaxed his smile and agreed. “I thought so, too.”
His placid response seemed to shock her for a moment. Ah, what kind of person was he in her eyes? Never mind that.
“Let’s go. Based on previous explorations, Alice will arrive sooner rather than later, and I’d like to gather what we need before then.”
They needed to actually do their jobs for the sake of research, after all. And while they were at it, snag a few items for their own team!
She nodded, giving him a hand-sign to confirm she understood. As part of his team, he’d instilled in her a honed vigilance for good items. He knew he could trust she’d find some high quality stuff, if it was to be found.
They quickly discussed a plan (and back-up plan) to stay in contact for check-ins, then off they went.
Well, they had plans, he could say.
It was absolutely astonishing how much trouble his dear partner could get into when Baek Saheon wasn’t looking.
Astonishing, and frankly, anxiety-inducing!!
“And so?” he said, flatly. He stared at his partner. His Kim Soleum. His Agent Grapes, adorned with new scrapes and bruises. “Why did you enter this Dark—”
“Disaster.”
Baek Saheon corrected himself seamlessly, “—this Disaster? Hm? Agent Grapes?”
“An excellent question, civilian-nim. And one I could answer if you would just stop that.”
Baek Saheon scoffed, feigning ignorance. “Stop what?”
Kim Soleum met his sole eye with his two, glinting fiercely behind his glasses. “Stop hugging me in front of my seniors and your subordinate. Please.”
Baek Saheon laughed outright, only clinging tighter. Then, he threw a sly glance at the agents in question.
Agent Choi, from his askew top hat, down to his mismatched, wacky shoes, looked positively clownish. And the cherry on top: his face was twisted up just like his crazy outfit. He looked like he was about to combust from sheer rage. His signature jakdu was out and glinting in one trembling hand. Clearly, he was The Mad Hatter—mad from insanity or anger? Why not both!
Next to him, Agent Bronze appeared to hold his partner back, but really he was only doing that to distract himself from pouncing by himself. His neck was bulging against his cute little bowtie, arms flexing in his vibrant suit jacket. If looks could kill, Baek Saheon would have been murdered by Agent Bronze a dozen times over. The March Hare, perfect as the Hatter’s equally crazy companion.
Finally seeing Kim Soleum’s colleagues in person, close at hand, didn’t much improve his opinion of them. They looked like idiots.
Just above their heads, Goral was perched in a gnarled tree. Her expression was a mix of exasperation, discomfort, and annoyance.
“Hey. Section Chief Viper.” Kim Soleum’s dangerously low voice sent a thrill down his spine. He focused all his attention on his partner.
And what a sight he was!
Periwinkle blue and eggshell white, the exact opposite of his own outfit, everywhere his eye could see.
He had dainty-looking shoes with white stockings, which were barely visible under the bell shape created by the layers of petticoat-plus-skirts. A giant bow sat at the small of his back, matching the giant bow atop his head. The outfit was pulled together by the demure blouse that accentuated the doll-like quality of the skin that peeked out. The only element ruining the whole look was the ever-present pink bunny plushie, tucked securely in his front pocket. (But he dared not speak a word against that.)
Without a doubt, the Alice of this exploration record was none other than his dearest. The casting was painfully fitting, as his Soleum was prone to incredible dreams, bouts of trust placed in wrong hands, and displays of pure-hearted hope that Baek Saheon both cherished and despaired.
“Hey. Viper-ssi. Do you need a countdown to let me go?”
Oops. Honorifics and threats meant that he’d teased him too long. But he couldn’t help one last remark.
“Heh, my Grapes are too sour.”
For that, he got his foot none-too-gently stomped.
He sighed with a faux frown and pulled his arms up and away. Promptly, Kim Soleum leapt out of his grasp, patting his creepy bunny plushie before scurrying off to the side. He was instantly swarmed by his doting seniors, tripping over themselves to examine their youngest. They were only just short of stripping his outer layers off, as if to check that his chastity was still intact.
Ha!
Why treat Kim Soleum like some untainted child? He was in a loving relationship with a man, and they both had needs. It’s not like Kim Soleum was devoid of corrupt thoughts and scandalous urges either, so why was only Baek Saheon being treated like some kind of lecher? Just for lifting his skirts to check for injuries? And running his hands over his skin to ensure his limbs were whole? And then embracing his partner because he missed him?
Whatever. He was too busy mourning the loss of that precious warmth. And too busy enjoying the thrill of doing his first PDA! It was so liberating! But also sad ... sad that his Soleum didn’t seem to be fully on board … (probably because he’d sprung it on him …)
Regardless of their communication issues, it kind of felt great, knowing that everyone here knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, whose home and bed their ‘Agent Grapes’ would return to!
“Section Chief …” a deceptively calm voice called.
“Goral-ssi.”
“We came here to harvest research materials, not to canoodle.”
“Goral-ssi, I advise you to get your eyes checked when we return. What you just observed was not canoodling, but rather two happy lovers reuniting.”
Goral rolled her eyes so far back in her head, her irises disappeared. “Sir, pardon my language, but you’re a brazen bastard, aren’t you?”
He only shrugged. No need to lie. It wasn’t his fault her discomfort was bothering her.
She continued, “Though I believe it’s your eye that needs to get checked. Look around us.”
He indulged her and did.
“Where are we, exactly?”
“A Darkn—Disaster.” He caught a tiny smile from Kim Soleum at his pivot, and preened.
Her eyes rolled again, but she soldiered on. “Yes, and is a ghost story a place for experienced employees to lose their focus?”
“No. Hey, is there a reason you’re asking such obvious questions?”
“Yes. Instead of looking for materials, you were fooling around.”
“Oh, I see. Ah, but Goral-ssi!” He clapped his hands with a fake-surprised expression. “I was looking for materials. My hands were investigating the place most likely to have a rare sort of item.” He gestured at Kim Soleum, who was finally able to pull himself away from the mother-henning.
“... you did NOT just point at the kind agent when you said that.”
“Haha, better get an eye exam pencilled in!”
Goral was speechless.
“Dear! Could you come here once your guardians are finished inspecting you?”
Agent Bronze glared. Agent Choi whipped his jakdu up. “You scoundrel! Consent is important and you violated that! No way our hubae will listen to you after you betrayed his trust!”
“Now, is that any way to speak to a civilian? Mr. Government Agent, sir?”
Agent Choi glared and opened his mouth as if to retaliate. But then, suddenly and scarily, his face smoothed out. With a completely mellow tone, he said, “Agent Bronze, Agent Grapes, look how this Disaster is trying to deceive us with illusions. Let’s retreat for now and—”
“Agent-nim, stop. You know he’s real.”
“Agent Grapes, let’s be cautious here. It’s too dangerous to trust him.”
“What, my lover is too dangerous now?” Kim Soleum said, unexpected steel in his voice.
…! Why had Kim Soleum suddenly defended him? Ahh, regardless, it was bad for his heart to hear “lover” come straight from his mouth!! He clutched at his chest, the corners of lips twitching.
For a very different reason, Agent Choi also clutched at his chest, dramatically dismayed. Meanwhile, Agent Bronze grimaced, eyes blinking rapidly.
…
… hmm? Actually, why weren’t they more shocked about him and their Grapes? Instead of floundering in response, they immediately seized the chance to snatch their hubae away. As if they’d been preparing all along to separate him and his partner.
Like Goral, were they also busy-bodies who’d found out about them already …?
Oh. Right. The text he’d sent that day, about picking up lube. Which they’d accidentally seen. Knowing those rotten agents, they then abused their power to do some sort of background check on him.
He tuned back in to hear the two agents wheedling with his partner not to listen. But eventually, Kim Soleum shook off his seniors’ sticky hands.
“Are they finally done? C’mere.” Baek Saheon beckoned.
Kim Soleum came and stood before him.
“What do you want,” Kim Soleum intoned. Baek Saheon pouted at the coldness. He’d thought that Kim Soleum’s mini-rejection of his seniors meant he’d warmed up to his lover again … but maybe his unannounced PDA was still not forgiven.
Placatingly, he said, “My dear, you heard that my own subordinate doubts my words. Wouldn’t you agree with me? That you have items on your person at the moment? You wouldn’t make me a liar, would you?”
Kim Soleum laughed a little snidely. “Daydream section chiefs are experts at lying. Don’t put that on me.”
Baek Saheon cracked a smile. “Touché. But, if you’ve gotten so beaten up, surely you’ve found some interesting items for the trouble?”
“...”
“Else, you mean to tell me you got hurt and didn’t even benefit from it …?” He knew that wasn’t the case. His partner was better than that.
Kim Soleum hesitated, swayed.
“Why don’t you show me the items? We can brainstorm together how to maximize their effect. Wouldn’t improving the chance of survival be ideal for everyone?”
Because of the time they’d spent together, he knew how Kim Soleum appreciated his perspective on ghost stories, escape routes, and items. They didn’t always agree on an approach, but when they did … oh, it was the best! He truly adored his clever speed runner of a survivalist.
As expected, Kim Soleum’s eyes brightened at the prospect of collaboration. With a coy glance at his seniors, he rolled up his sleeve. Then, he shoved his whole hand into the tattoo inventory hidden in his forearm. Agent Choi and Agent Bronze gasped. If they hadn’t seen this before, it would look quite gruesome.
Baek Saheon held out his palms. One by one, his partner pulled out and placed each item like a proud magpie: Alice Picnic Set, Red Rose Paint, Looking-Glass Shard, Magic Mushroom Pipe, and on and on!
Wow, that was certainly a lot. He restrained his greed and let Kim Soleum blab on a little longer.
“See now, Goral-ssi? My dear Grapes is quite resourceful.”
Goral, who had descended from the tree to take a closer look at the items, frowned slightly. “Fine, he is. Though frisking him wasn’t really necessary. Regarding these items, though, I don’t think that the Bureau will be offering these up to us. Unless we have something to trade.”
“Very true. Then, why don’t I offer some important information to our heroic agents!”
“What kind of information?” Agent Bronze cut in.
“Nuh-uh. No spoilers. It’s up to our Agent Grapes to let me share or not.” He looked meaningfully at the items piled in his hands.
“Okay, Viper-ssi. You can have the paint. Now—”
“Ah! But I also need an answer to my original question before I can assess what information is best to share. So, let me ask again: why did you enter this Disaster?”
Kim Soleum readily opened his mouth to answer, but Agent Choi held up a hand and shook his head. “‘eyy, that's Bureau business. We don’t have to tell you that.”
“Good thing I’m not asking you or Hyeonmu Team 1, then! I’m asking my lover.”
“Your lover just so happens to be on duty, civilian-nim.”
“And I just so happen to have useful information for you, but I simply need to confirm this one thing before I give it. My dear, won’t you answer?”
“... you already know.”
“I’d like to hear it from your mouth, though?”
“We were dispatched to rescue civilians. A dozen or so.”
“Do you know where those civilians are?”
“The call came from the Court of Hearts. So, here we are.”
“Ahhh … then here's my intel. Let me help clear up the situation.” He gave the items back, then snapped his fingers, turning to face the throne of The Queen of Hearts. His black crown glittered, displaying his authority.
Trumpets sounded, then a panel slid open on the side wall. Out marched people-sized playing cards all painted in red. They carried spears with heart-shaped points, jabbing up at the sky. Soon, they halted before Baek Saheon. Upon closer inspection, human eyes with eerily white irises were peering unblinkingly at them, almost blending into the white background of the cards.
“You mean these things, right?” Baek Saheon pointed imperiously down at the figures. The painted red hearts on the cards barely moved with their faint “breathing,” as if they were barely alive.
Kim Soleum frowned. “Yes, those people. We’d met a few earlier in the Rose Garden, but they ran off before we could get a hold of them. They need to be brought out of this Disaster before they succumb to their contamination.”
With a deep sigh, Baek Saheon pinched his nose. He felt his cortisol levels going through the roof. Yes, he admired his partner’s “silver heart,” even though it was so starkly different from his own nature. Dating Kim Soleum meant that he’d had to accept that part of him; actually, Baek Saheon believed he’d become overly tolerant of that self-sacrificial nature of his.
But there were times in which Baek Saheon wished his partner would pick a safer profession. Or one less prone to tricks. Because, unfortunately, his Kim Soleum had missed a crucial detail today.
“Hey. Hold my hand while I say this?”
Kim Soleum looked tense, but put his items away and did as he was asked.
Baek Saheon looked him straight in the eyes and said, as gently as he could, “Those ‘people’ are not real humans. Think of them like NPCs in a video game. Maybe they got a hold of a Bureau pamphlet to call you in. But they, unlike us, are not real. There's no one here to save besides ourselves.”
A pair of alarmed voices rose up behind him, but Baek Saheon ignored them in favor of watching Kim Soleum’s face go blank. Not from distrust … he was just upset.
Poor guy. Nothing worse than being deceived by false innocence.
Kim Soleum visibly gathered himself. “... haaah. So, we came in for nothing?”
“Well, you wouldn’t call meeting your lover during work hours ‘nothing,’ right?”
“Haha.” Kim Soleum tried for a smile, but fell short. “Still a waste of our time, and resources. Us agents and our big hearts, as you always say, landing us in trouble again.”
Tsk. It kind of sucked hearing that said in such a defeated tone. Baek Saheon’s chest itched. To make it go away, he lifted his hands, squeezing Kim Soleum’s with a soft pressure. He leaned forward, taking care to keep his crown out of the way.
Mwah!
He pressed a firm kiss to Kim Soleum’s forehead. After pulling back, he brushed his ruffled bangs back into order.
“It’s your kindness that got you into this mess. But it’ll be my kindness that’ll get us out of here. You better reward me nicely when we get home.” When we get home SAFELY was highly implied. “Okay?”
A sigh. “Okay.”
Baek Saheon smiled. “So, did you have a concrete plan to rescue those fake civilians and yourselves? Daydream’s approved manual is useless now, so let’s hear your solution.”
What he said was unfortunately true; by Kim Soleum becoming the main character of this parody Disaster, and then acting so friendly with the antagonist, they’d locked themselves out of the easy “re-enactment” escape route. After all, Alice wasn’t supposed to get along with The Queen of Hearts. They were now in uncharted territory, at least according to Daydream’s knowledge.
The weakness of all manuals, as Kim Soleum had debated him in the past, was that they were much too narrow. They focused only on finding a certain path to clear the story. Once that was found, the manual zeroed in on maximizing the efficiency (read: Dream Essence quality) of that one path. Not enough resources were spent exploring edge cases or securing less dangerous paths to clear them.
But pushing the boundaries of a Disaster was Kim Soleum’s specialty. With his unparalleled knowledge of urban legends and ghost stories, there was no predicament that he couldn’t problem-solve his way out of.
It didn’t take much nudging before Kim Soleum took charge. He was always the most reliable when others were in need of saving.
“This is what I’ve gathered—”
He laid out his hypothesis, that this story was not strictly a one-to-one of the beloved children’s book, as most people assumed. Firstly, that wouldn’t make sense; the original book wasn’t enough to become a ghost story on its own. What could make such a well-trodden tale become a source of terror?
“Someone who really loved this story but then got traumatized by it?” Goral suggested.
“Perhaps a serial killer whose modus operandi took inspiration from the children’s book …” Agent Bronze tried.
“Why don’t you tell us, Grapes-ah?” Agent Choi, like Baek Saheon, already realized that Kim Soleum knew the answer.
Kim Soleum nodded. “It’s a ‘haunting,’ I think. Local news reported that a manhwa creator died of overwork before he could finish his debut work. Netizens found that, a couple days before his death, he’d posted a long rant which he'd deleted immediately—what he’d actually wanted to write was a story under the horror genre, but his editors had pigeon-holed and trope-ified his story so much that it’d become rife with plotholes and lack of cohesive direction. Essentially pushing it to be a weak, predictable parody of Al*ce’s Adventures in W*nderland.”
“So, what we need to do is honor the dead’s dying wish? Easy enough! Let’s write horror!”
“No,” Kim Soleum said. “Or rather, that’s a possibility, but following that route has the greatest risk of contamination. We would get too invested in the ghost’s thinking.”
“Then, the opposite?” Baek Saheon caught on quickly. Kim Soleum gifted him a pleased smile. He basked in it, while Goral groaned.
“The opposite of horror … wouldn’t that be comedy? Romance?”
“Perhaps both,” Agent Bronze said.
“A romcom, then …”
There was a very loud silence. Then, reluctantly, all eyes turned towards Baek Saheon and Kim Soleum.
“No …” Agent Choi whispered.
“No!” Agent Bronze shouted.
“No, no, no,” Goral pleaded.
“Yes,” Kim Soleum declared above their denials. “Let’s begin a brand-new romcom with a twist! Where the protagonist and antagonist overcome their assigned roles and reach a happily ever after as a couple!”
With zero hesitation, Alice grabbed Baek Saheon’s gloved hand, reeling him in to plant a loud smooch on his cheek.
“Ha!” barked The Queen of Hearts, giddy at his lover’s audacious affection.
The gaping Goral and the two aghast agents absolutely lost their shit.
‘This is kind of fun,’ thought Baek Saheon, grinning. He lightly nudged his flamingo-headed mallet against a hedgehog ball. It rolled briefly then stopped, nowhere near the arch he was “aiming” for. The hedgehog unfurled and fixed him with a stare that screamed really?
“Oops, I didn’t mean to tap that,” he lied. “Alice, take it easy on me, won’t you?”
Kim Soleum actually laughed out loud. “Sure, honey. Only because you’re acting so cute.”
“Oh, dear!” said Baek Saheon. “How I do love you!”
“So do I,” said Kim Soleum.
…!!! AHH, how did he say it so smoothly? Did he practice in secret??
“Foul!! Foul!!” cried Agent Choi, who looked like he was actually on the brink of tears.
“No fouls have happened though?” Baek Saheon eked out, maintaining a calm face.
Agent Bronze gritted his teeth. “Agent-nim, we just have to bear with it for now, okay?” But he muttered something inaudibly, as if he were invoking a curse.
Baek Saheon was grateful to learn such valuable info—it was so simple to reduce these agents to blithering fools, with just a little public flirting. He’d have to be careful to dole it out sparingly, so that they didn’t become desensitized. (And so that he could recover in between.)
However, his own colleague seemed to be of sterner stuff. She watched from the side, silent and judging. Judging him only! Her gaze softened when she watched Kim Soleum, with something like admiration.
Ugh. Sometimes he wanted to lock up his Kim Soleum so that others couldn’t see him. So that they couldn't burden him with their weighty expectations.
He got shaken out of his thoughts as Kim Soleum took an over-the-top swing with his mallet, comically pirouetted in a circle, and then “tripped” gracefully into Baek Saheon’s waiting arms.
“Oops, I swung too hard!” his devious lover said. “Oh, Your Majesty, thank you for catching me.” He blushed a little, hiding a grin behind his hand. His dark eyes sparkled in mischief.
Aha!
‘This really is quite fun,’ Baek Saheon thought, grinning and blushing back.
Scene after scene, Baek Saheon and Kim Soleum acted a horrifically (in Agent Choi’s words), grossly (in Goral’s words), necessarily (in Agent Bronze’s words) twisted version of Al*ce’s Adventures in W*nderland, rofan edition. Even in scenarios where The Queen of Hearts wasn’t supposed to appear, Baek Saheon made sure he was at least lurking in the background, blowing kisses at his Alice.
“Section Chief, have you abandoned all shame?”
He threw double finger-hearts at Kim Soleum. The man interrupted his conversation with The Walrus and The Carpenter to return the gesture. He even added a dashing wink.
Supremely satisfied, he replied to her, “You and the agents already know about us anyway. What’s there to be ashamed of?”
“It’s too much though. All this PDA is so … out of character.”
“You should be thankful that we’re trying so hard to get us all out of here safely.”
She groaned. “You’re just blatantly using this as an excuse to openly flirt.”
“Can’t deny that’s a benefit.”
“... you'd better not be playing with him, though. You need to be serious. For Agent Grapes’s sake.”
Baek Saheon paused at that. He gave her a look.
… was this a shovel talk? Shit, was she actually concerned about their relationship? And to top it off, she wasn’t even siding with her literal boss, but rather the guy who’d saved her once?
Well. It’s not like he blamed her for liking Kim Soleum more. Who wouldn't?
He recalled warm reassurances that cold day, long ago in Jisan Village. An agent who gave voice to the same poisonous insecurities that had dogged Baek Saheon’s every waking day. Who talked about dying as if it were an awfully big adventure ahead, but also the most ordinary thing in the world.
A blue jacket. A white paper boat. A man who proved to him that salvation—being saved and saving others—didn’t have to be hard.
He drank in the sight of Kim Soleum dressed in light blues and unblemished whites. He stood straight and tall against a seaside landscape resembling the Jeju Island coastline, a place they’d talked about visiting together on their next day off.
He thought about the expensive ring he’d hidden away, in preparation for that day.
In a low voice, he promised, “I’ve never been more serious.”
Goral nodded and didn’t say anything else.
It took a few more scenes and a fair bit of canoodling (yes, Goral-ssi, you can call it that now) for the Disaster to finally implode with OOC warnings and boot them out. Too bad they couldn’t keep the dresses …
“Ahhhh, there’s no place like home,” Baek Saheon sighed.
Kim Soleum laughed under Baek Saheon’s sudden weight, stumbling in the entryway. “Get off, let me close the door at least!”
He relented, taking the bag full of procured items off his partner’s hands. He padded off with their jackets, hanging them up in the closet.
“Soleum-ah, Soleum-ah, call out sick tomorrow, okay? Your seniors promised they’d write up the reports without you.”
“Only after you threatened them.”
“I wouldn’t call revealing details of our relationship a threat, exactly.”
“It was, to them.”
“They’re really going to have to get over the fact that their precious hubae is dating, having sex with, and looooves someone like me!”
Kim Soleum didn’t argue that point, but— “That's true, but I wish we didn’t have to throw all of that in their faces, all at once! We’ve ruined my chance to—” he cut himself off.
“... to what?”
Quietly, Kim Soleum said, “I wanted to find the right time to introduce you to them, properly. I’m somewhat embarrassed that today was their first impression of us. As a couple.”
Fireworks burst in Baek Saheon’s brain.
Was Kim Soleum, all this time, thinking of “introducing him to the parents (seniors)”? He’d been very seriously thinking about taking the next step!
Wow.
Overcome by a surge of passion, Baek Saheon began tugging his partner through their apartment. (As he passed through the living room, he gently lifted the bunny plushie from Kim Soleum’s pocket and placed it on its designated sleeping pillow.)
He flipped his phone open and shot off a quick message to his team:
Section Chief Viper
not coming in tomorrow due to an urgent leave of absence
Supervisor Ferret
Get well soon, boss!
Supervisor Moose
hold on, what about our assignment tomorrow T-T
Assistant Manager Goral
Section Chief, I’ll file your paperwork for you, but only this once. If you’re serious, then you need to plan better for your future.
Employee Tarantula
??? what
Baek Saheon put his phone on silent and tossed it onto the nightstand. He opened the drawer and deliberately pulled out their freshly bought lube, tossing it onto the bed before circling his partner. Slowly, he stripped off his own jacket, then his shirt, then the rest.
“W-wait, Saheon …!” Kim Soleum gasped as Baek Saheon began tugging his clothes off, too. Busy hands paused at his belt, then lifted his partner’s phone from his pocket and pressed it firmly into his hands.
He moved backwards until his bare shoulder blades hit the bathroom door, reeling in Kim Soleum all the while. Haaa. He threw his arms about his lover’s shoulders, staring deep into his eyes as they started to darken. He smirked at the tingling feeling of hands tracing his hips. He licked his lips, leaning forward.
“Hey, you’d better text your seniors. After we wash up, we aren’t leaving the bed tonight. Right, Soleum-ah?”