Work Text:
“Hey I had an idea and I need your face for an experiment!”
Of all requests, Zuko was not expecting that one. He looked up from his paperwork, finding Suki standing at the doorway with a basket of supplies. She was also frowning at him.
“Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready for bed?” Suki asked.
“You’re asking me for a favor, and you’re mad I’m still awake?” Zuko replied.
“Fair point, but you need to sleep eventually,” she said.
In theory he agreed. In practice, there was so much to do. So much to worry about. No harm in bringing a few papers to read in his room as he traded robes and regalia for bedclothes.
It wasn’t even that unusual for his job as Fire Lord. Most memory he had of his grandfather, the man had some papers or scrolls or other things on hand to work on while attending to various matters, professional and personal.
Zuko ignored that it had done well to help sell the illusion when he died. Fire Lord Azulon, found still at his desk. Working late into the night ‘until something gave out’. Even if the poison weren’t undetectable, no one would have paid any mind to the teacup knocked over and smearing the ink.
He let Suki take the papers from him. Setting them on a far table to be ignored until the morning. On the closer table was her basket of supplies. He peeked in to see a few jars and brushes and a hand mirror and hair ties.
“I had an idea,” Suki explained. “If the Kyoshi Warriors are going to be your bodyguards, we should have a few ways to hide you if needed. The easiest way is to hide you in plain sight. Anyone looking for the Fire Lord isn’t going to pay attention to his bodyguards.”
“I don’t know if I’d blend in that well,” Zuko said.
“You’d do better than you think,” she said. “Some of the girls are taller or broader than you already, and Kyoshi herself was over 200cm tall. The outfit might be feminine, but it doesn't expose your figure.”
“Even with makeup my face is… pretty recognizable," he pointed out.
“That's what these are for!” She said, gesturing to the basket. “We've had warriors with facial scars before, so the ingredients are designed to not irritate the skin. But we’ve never really needed to hide the scars so much so I tried a few experiments with the formula.”
Oh.
Zuko didn’t know how to feel about that. But he let her pull him to the table. Froze for a fraction of a second at the feeling of her hands in his hair, tying it back and out of his face. If she weren’t a close friend, he might have pushed her away instead.
He closed his eyes and tried not to flinch when she touched his face. Fingers gently tilting his chin to get the right angle of light. He did flinch when the first brush ran across the skin, the face paint cold.
Zuko had used other face paints before. But this felt a bit thicker. Heavier. To hide the textures, he supposed.
She ran the brush across his face a few more times. Then decided to start over, a wet cloth wiping off her work and setting that jar aside. Picking up a second one.
This one went the same as the first. Getting a little bit into it before frowning and starting over. The third, Zuko pulled away from the second it hit his face.
“Sorry,” Zuko said. “It just…. Feels gross. Like when Appa licks you.”
“Oh, gross,” Suki agreed.
That one was quickly discarded, knowing that even if it was successful at hiding his scar, it would never work if he'd wipe it off within moments of applying it. The next was a little different. Suki took more time with it. While things on his scar always felt odd, Zuko could admit the softness of the brush felt nice.
She ended up discarding that one too, but into more of a ‘maybe’ before grabbing another. This one she spent more time on. Covering and blending it out more, up his forehead and down his cheek. Zuko opened his good eye to peek at her, seeing a satisfied smile.
“This one is pretty good!” Suki said. “I might need to color match it a little. I hoped the thickness would hide it, but it’s easier to tone it than retry the whole thing.”
“Color match?” Zuko asked, closing his eyes again as the brush went over the bridge of his nose.
“The formula is designed for typical skintones” Suki said. “We have a few variations for members with darker complexions but this is…. Well. Very red. Which makes the paint look pinker. It’s subtle, but noticeable. But it does help smooth out the texture well!”
She held up the mirror to him, and Zuko felt… unnerved.
He could see the color issue. It was subtle, but he could see it. If this was meant as a disguise, that would need to be fixed.
But the paint had done well at smoothing over the rougher surface of his face. There was still something odd in the way the skin pulled at his eye, but he assumed that could be fixed with the rest of the paints. Some illusion of evenness.
And, though there was the mix of his true skintone, the white, and the pink, he could very clearly see a normal face.
His normal face. What he might have looked like if his father hadn’t decided to burn half of it off.
It looked wrong, somehow. Like a stranger. Yet far too familiar. His features exaggerate. Less like himself as he thought of, and more like picking out bits and pieces of his bloodline to cobble together. Too much of his father and plenty of his mother. Bits and pieces shared with Azula and Kiyi. A little bit of Iroh and Lu Ten sneaking in. Features immortalized in portraits of Sozin and statues of Roku.
Himself, but someone else. Everything he was and everything he wasn’t. Someone who didn’t exist, and never would, but at one point may have had a chance.
“Are you okay?” Suki asked.
“Yeah,” Zuko said, tearing his gaze away. “Yeah it just. Looks a little silly, right? All the colors?”
“Hopefully I can get it to just the one,” she said. “I could make it in any color you wanted, but I don’t think that’s needed.”
His answer caught in his throat. Knowing she saw the same thing he did. How easy it would be to ask her to make paint that could match his skin tone.
Maybe, years ago, he would have asked. When he was an angry teen aware of the way it symbolized everything ‘wrong with him’. Now, not recognizing the man in the mirror, the idea of it repulsed him.
Suki set the mirror on the table, trading it for the cloth. Wiping the paint off his face. Despite the angle, he could still see his reflection. Something settled in him when she put the cloth down and he could see his real face again.
“While I think you’d look good as a Kyoshi Warrior,” Suki said. “I think you look best as yourself.”
She put her hand on his face again. Thumb running over the edge of his scar, fingers tracing along his jaw and down his neck. He leaned into the touch, turning slightly. His mouth pressed into the palm of her hand.
There was an impulse in his bones. Something he held a tight leash on, knowing his track record for acting before thinking. Recognizing the line that could cross. Something not just for a pair of friends. Something entirely unprofessional for the Fire Lord and his bodyguard. Something that Zuko really should not be thinking of considering Suki had a boyfriend.
“I should go to bed,” Zuko said, pulling himself away.
Suki seemed almost sad at that. But agreed and began gathering her things. Making sure to label which paints were successful in comparison.
“You should actually go to bed,” Suki said. “If you stay up reading any more documents, then tomorrow I will tie you down with blankets until you actually sleep.”
He had no doubt of both her intent to do so, and her ability to pull it off. Somehow, it did not help the weird feeling in his chest. He might not stay up all night working, but he doubted he’d get any sleep.