Archive of Our Own

08:05 AM, PRESENT

Taehyung looks down at his hands, mentally cussing at himself. He’s just come out of the locker room after his basketball practice, and he’s left his gloves behind. He can’t possibly go without them, because he refuses to see anyone’s date, so he turns back on his heels to return to the lockers to find the missing piece of clothing.

He’s looking down at his phone as he walks, and he doesn’t see that someone’s already opening the door to leave as he himself reaches for the handle to go in.

“Oh, sor—” his words die in his throat once he spots Jeon Jungkook, of all people, freshly showered after his football practice — but that’s not the biggest problem.

The problem is the date right above his head that only Taehyung can see now that his bare skin is touching Jungkook’s hand. The date should show a year much ahead of them, a year for a much older version of Jungkook, but, instead, that’s far from reality.

The date that shows above Jungkook’s head is the exact day that they’re currently going through. Taehyung gasps, beyond horrified, and pulls his hand away before running out of the gymnasium without even sparing Jungkook a second glance.

And Jungkook stares at the now empty space in front him, ignoring how loudly his heart sounds in his ears now. In the end, unwilling to react, he just scoffs at the weirdness of the situation afore resuming his walk.

Taehyung runs to the back of the building, bending over with his hands on his knees to catch his breath and to stop himself from puking his insides out. He hurriedly reaches for his phone with shaky hands, finding his best friend’s contact amongst the rest of names in the list. He types a desperate message.

iMESSAGE

Me  |
JIMIN, PLEASE, I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT  |

|  tiny soulmate
|  What’s going on????????

Me  |
I just left practice, and I took a shower and such  |
When I left the locker room, I realized that I forgot my gloves  |
I had to go back to get them. THE FUCKING GLOVES  |

|  tiny soulmate
|  Okay, okay, I’m following
|  Then, what?

Me  |
I crossed paths with Jeon Jungkook  |
His fucking dumbass was leaving the lockers  |
I was going to walk in  |
Our hands touched while I wasn’t wearing the goddamn gloves  |
Jimin, I just ran out of there  |

|  tiny soulmate
|  Oh, and did you see his date?

Me  |
Yes  |
Oh, fuck, I’m getting nauseous again. I don’t know what to do  |
I’m freaking the fuck out  |

|  tiny soulmate
|  Christ, what did you see? Is it bad?
|  YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT

Me  |
Jimin, he dies today  |

The word read shows under his text and, in the next second, he’s receiving a call from his best friend. “You have to be fucking kidding!” Jimin screams on the other side as soon as he accepts the call, and Taehyung wishes that he could confirm, but he can’t say that. “How accurate is it, Tae? Seriously, how accurate?!”

“Every date that I’ve seen so far has been correct.” Taehyung stresses, resting his back against the wall and taking a deep breath. “I’m behind the gym, trying to catch my fucking breath and doing my best not to puke over here. I can’t— I’m freaking out.”

“Fuck!” Jimin screams once again, and Taehyung can hear him pace around his room. “So, you’re trying to tell me that Jungkook is going to die sometime today?”

“Yes.” he confirms, feeling himself gag. “My God, I might actually puke. This has never happened before.” he has to sit down in order to keep his legs from wobbling. “It’s been years since I’ve started wearing the gloves, so the only dates that I’ve actually confirmed were from the elderly patients that my mom worked with and that I met while visiting her. But, like, they were all correct. I’ve never fucking seen a young person with a date that wasn’t decades in the future. I don’t know what to do.”

“Tae, you have to do something about this.” Jimin says matter-of-factly.

“He’ll die either way. Besides, I can’t fucking tell him about this ability. He’d never believe it.” Taehyung rubs his eyes with his free hand. “I don’t know what happens if I tell someone. I’ve never— I don’t— Fuck, Jimin, I can’t tell him.”

“We can’t let him fucking die!” at those words, Taehyung gags once again, just a second away from throwing up. “Fuck, calm down, okay, let’s— think.” Jimin tries to relax him upon sensing his distress, even if he himself isn’t doing any better. “You can’t take your eyes off of him during the whole day, that’s what you’ll do.”

Taehyung gapes. “Am I meant to fucking stalk him?!”

“Literally, yes.” Jimin clarifies. “If I weren’t back home, I’d stalk him with you.”

“Jimin, I’m not fucking stalking that idiot. Besides, how do I know that it’s an accidental death? Maybe, he’s going to have a stroke or die in his sleep.” Taehyung tries to reason. “I can’t prevent that, I can’t do anything against freaking natural causes.”

“Uhm…” his best friend takes a second, thinking it through. “Right, you have to keep your eye on him even at night, somehow. Be close to him so that you can call an ambulance right away if he does have a stroke or stops breathing in his sleep.”

“How the fuck am I meant to do that?!” it’s Taehyung’s turn to scream.

“How would I know?!” Jimin screams back, matching his concern.

“I’m going to chop my hands off. Or just kill myself.”

“Don’t, stop that.” Jimin calms down once again, taking a breath. “Look for him, and keep an eye on him. I know you, Tae. You might not like him, but you won’t just let him die without, at least, trying to prevent it. He’s too young to die.”

“Fuck, okay, I can’t let that happen.” Taehyung stands back up. “I’ll try to find him.”

“Keep me updated…”

“If he catches me, I’ll be the one dying of embarrassment.”

Jimin would giggle, hadn’t it been the tragedy of the situation. “Just go…”

And so, Taehyung does exactly what his best friend suggested: he looks for the younger athlete, and follows him with a decent distance so that it isn’t too obvious. He has no idea of what he’s going to do once Jungkook goes home after his last lecture, but he’s made it Jimin’s mission to figure that part out.

He misses two of his own important lectures to sit on the far back of Jungkook’s with his hood thrown over his head and a pair of sunglasses on in some attempt to go unnoticed — and he believes it to have worked.

He waits outside when Jungkook goes to the bathroom, and even sits hidden behind a tree when Jungkook sits outside with his friends, having a snack and enjoying the sun that shines through the light clouds. So far, so good.

Jimin texts him every twenty minutes, which only stresses him more.

He hates his ability, and he wishes that he could just get rid of it.

He can’t focus on that now, however. Today, his focus is on keeping Jungkook alive.

iMESSAGE

Me  |
Have you figured out how I’m keeping an eye on him when he goes home?  |

|  tiny soulmate
|  Yes!
|  You’re going to get dressed in all black and climb through his vents

Me  |
You’re kidding  |
You’ve had the whole morning, and that’s what you suggest??????  |

|  tiny soulmate
|  THIS IS HARD, OK?
|  I don’t know what to suggest when you two can’t stand each other

Me  |
Goddamn it  |
I’ll figure something out  |

11:40 AM, PRESENT

Jungkook isn’t stupid.

He’s seen Taehyung in the reflection of a few doors, and he’s seen someone ducking away and hiding one too many times. On top of that, he also spotted him sitting in the back of a lecture that they do not share with his hood and sunglasses on.

He knows that he’s being followed, he just doesn’t know why.

But he’ll find out.

“Shit…” Taehyung complains to himself when Jungkook rounds a corner of the building, disappearing from his vision entirely, which makes him have to jog so that he doesn’t lose him in the crowd. He lets out a startled scream when he’s pushed against the wall once he, too, makes that corner. “What the fuck—?!”

“I’m the one asking you that.” Jungkook furrows his brows, clearly bothered, and letting go of his collar with another shove, albeit lightly. “Why are you following me?”

“I’m not. I’d never. Fucking brute.” he mumbles, fixing his shirt.

“Don’t bullshit me, Kim. I’ve seen you.” he rasps out.

Taehyung smirks. “Of course, you’ve seen me. You’re obsessed with me.” he comments, which only seems to infuriate the other even more.

“Shut the hell up. Why are you following me?”

“I’m not.” Taehyung still tries.

“You literally stopped walking when I stopped, picked up when I continued.”

“Coincidence.” he shrugs.

The footballer frowns. “I saw you behind the fucking tree.”

“I like trees.”

“The fuck… If I see you again, I’ll punch you.” Jungkook warns, turning on his heels to get out of there as fast as possible, and Taehyung panics, smirk long gone.

“No, wait!” the elder calls after him, and holds him back by the wrist. His gloves were missing when he tried to find them for the second time, so he can see the same date popping right above Jungkook’s head. His bare hand, on Jungkook’s bare wrist, and that screaming reminder over his head. Today’s date. “Christ…” he whispers.

It’s terrifying.

“Let go of me, weirdo.” Jungkook complains, but makes no move to free himself.

“You can’t go.” Taehyung states.

“Why the fuck not?”

“Because… Because I said so. You have to, uhm, stay here. On campus. Like, until tomorrow morning.” he says, words filled with urgency and franticness.

Jungkook blinks. “Are you clinically insane?”

“No, I’m serious.” Taehyung holds his wrist tighter when the other tsks and tries to turn around again. “Jeon, you can’t go home today. You have to stay here.”

“Why in the goddamn fuck would I stay on campus the whole night?”

“Because.”

“…you said so?” Taehyung nods; Jungkook hums. “So, I’m meant to stay here for the rest of the afternoon, the evening, and night just because you said so?” again, the basketball captain can only nod. “Seek help. I’m out of here.” Jungkook finally frees himself, and Taehyung watches in horror as he begins walking away from him.

“The date!” he yells out. Jungkook stops in his tracks. “R-Remember the date that you asked me on two years ago? I’m saying yes now. Let’s go now.” he sees Jungkook tilt his head, and then his shoulders shake as he chuckles incredulously. Taehyung gulps.

What did he just do?

Jungkook turns back to him, stepping closer with his eyes so dark that they’re able to pin Taehyung to the wall without the need for any physical touch. “So, you’ve been following me around all morning to ask me out on a date?” he asks, his head tilted.

“Uhm… Yes, precisely.” Taehyung nods, frantic. This wasn’t in his plans, and it’s not the right thing to do, but it seems to be a successful way to get Jungkook to stay with him; will he be able to keep Jungkook out on a so-called date up until midnight?

He’s unsure. Reason number one being: they don’t get along anymore.

“I knew that, deep down, you liked me, darling…” Jungkook half-whispers, caressing Taehyung’s jaw with his knuckles in a gesture that once felt so affectionate, but now only feels sarcastic and diminishing. “But it’s too late for that, now I don’t want to go on a date with you.” he shrugs, dropping his hand.

Taehyung’s mouth hangs. “What?”

“I have things to do. If I see you following me again, I’ll—”

“Jungkook, please. Please, spend the day with me. Let’s, uhm, let’s go on a date.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows raise in surprise, and he studies Taehyung’s face for a moment. He looks desperate and scared; it’s a weird combination. “Are you in danger, or something?” he asks, and Taehyung sees stars. He remembers how protective Jungkook was, and he can only hope that he still feels the same way about not letting any harm happen to him. Back in the day, Jungkook would do anything to keep him safe.

So, he blurts out, “Yes. Stay with me.”

The younger nods, taking a moment to process the request. “Okay.”

“Okay, what?”

“Okay, let’s go somewhere. It’s not a date, though. I can’t go out with you after being rejected in such a harsh fucking way… but I’ll keep you safe. I promised to. Where are we going?” he questions, beginning to accept the idea.

Taehyung smiles. “Anywhere… Just stay with me.”

“Lead the way, Kim.” Jungkook gestures, and Taehyung quickly turns to start walking. Jungkook’s shoulders sag and he lets out a heavy breath that he had been holding. What is he doing? His heart can’t take it. Taehyung feels radiant.

He’ll keep Jungkook safe.

2 YEARS, 10 MONTHS PRIOR

Taehyung slams his locker after throwing his belongings in there without a care in the world, only keeping a notebook in his hand. He’s not having a good morning thus far, and he’ll make it everyone’s problem. First, he didn’t hear his alarm. Then, his coffee was boiling to the point of feeling like lava the moment that he took a sip, so he burnt every small millimeter of the inside of his mouth.

To make it all worse, he dropped his phone, and now the corner is chipped.

He was planning on selling it!

Someone clears their throat right behind him, and the sound is followed by a little tap on his shoulder. “Excuse me.” he hears, so he turns around to find a wide-eyed student cradling a couple of books in his arms. “Hey. It’s, like, my first day in this campus, so I’m a bit lost… Can you just point me in the direction of the administration’s office?”

“I can tell that it’s your first day.” Taehyung nods. “You’ve got that look.”

The stranger tilts his head. “What look?”

“The lost puppy one.”

“Ok, can you give me directions, or what?” Taehyung takes a hand to his chest as though offended by the tone used toward him by a complete stranger. Younger, at that.

“It’s that way.” he then points somewhere.

“Thanks. Bye.” the new student turns around, and leaves, before Taehyung can even feel guilty about what he’s just done. That is not the way to the office. In his defense, his day has been horrible and he did already plan to make it everyone’s problem!

He just shrugs it off; the new student will end up finding the right place, he’s sure.

He walks over to one of the tables outside, already opening his schedule on his phone so that he can write it in his notebook where he always notes down his classes, practices, everything — he doesn’t want to miss anything by forgetting it.

Taehyung’s halfway through mapping out the days of practice, when someone slams their hands on the table in front of him. He looks up; has to fight off a mischievous smile. It wouldn’t be appropriate to laugh after sending the guy in a random direction.

“You’re a dickhead. You sent me in the opposite direction!” he insults.

“Ah, did I…?” Taehyung tries to play it off.

“You did! It was on purpose, don’t even try to bullshit.” the other accuses.

“Maybe you shouldn’t trust strangers. I’m just teaching you a lesson… as an older, wiser man. I could’ve sent you even farther away, so if anything, I was nice to you.”

“You’re such a dick.”

Taehyung smiles. “Yet, you’re still here. Talking to me.” the younger groans before dropping his things on the table and sitting across from him; that promptly wipes away the smile from Taehyung’s lips. “Hello? I didn’t invite you to sit with me.”

“I don’t know anyone here so, humor me.” he meets his eyes.

“I’m not a clown to humor you.”

“Are you sure? You look like one.” the elder makes a sound of disbelief, and they stare at each other for a couple of seconds before they both snort. “I’m Jungkook.”

“Taehyung.” he informs, looking back down to continue writing.

“Is that the sport’s app? You’re on one of the teams?” Jungkook, as he now knows, reaches for his phone to look at it without any ounce of shame or any concept of privacy.

“Hey!” the elder tries, frowning. “You’re nosy as fuck.”

“Hm.” Jungkook only reads over the timetables to check what sport he’s in. “I’m also on one of the teams, I went to the administration’s office to ask for more details. I was just making sure that I won’t have to play with you.” he clarifies.

“You look like a loser, how come you’re on one of the teams?” Taehyung insults without any actual bite to his words, snatching his phone from the other’s hand.

“Rude much?” Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I’m going to be playing football. You, on the other hand, don’t look like you can handle running across the basketball court, so how are you on the team? That’s the real question.”

“Wow, you’re so annoying, it’s got to be a talent.”

Jungkook smiles for the first time since they’ve met, and Taehyung swears it lights up his entire face, teeth pearly white and completely straight. “You’re still talking to me.”

“Don’t copy my lines.” Taehyung tsks, set on ignoring him and completing his task so that he can go and find one of his friends to have a snack at the cafeteria.

“You’re so fucking weird.” Jungkook notes. It doesn’t sound like a jab, however, it sounds like he’s genuinely concluding that as a fact.

“You’re way weirder than me. You came back after I sent you to who knows where.”

“I came back to call you a dickhead.” he clarifies.

Taehyung hums, nods. “That’s fair.”

Jungkook opens his mouth to say something else, but stops when his phone pings with a new text. He reads it, before getting up. “I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow…?”

The elder looks at him this time. “Why would you want to see me tomorrow?”

“Because I want to.” Jungkook answers as though it’s obvious. “And because I don’t have friends here yet, and also people are fucking mean to new students here. You were the first person who didn’t just turn around and walk away after I said a word.”

“I literally sent you in the wrong direction.”

Jungkook pauses. “Actually, true. But, like, I’ll still see you tomorrow.”

Taehyung pretends to think about it. “Fine.”

The footballer flashes him a toothy grin before walking away, and it takes him a moment to shake his head and focus back, but he doesn’t miss the way that his morning anger has completely eased off, and how lighter his shoulders feel.

What a weird student, he thinks.

12:02 PM, PRESENT

Jungkook walks behind him, his hands in his pockets to appear as casually as possible, while the elder has to fight off his inner demons not to start crying and hyperventilating on the spot again. How in the world is he meant to manage this situation for twelve more hours? They haven’t shared a word in two years.

They haven’t spent twelve seconds together in two years.

How are they meant to get along for twelve hours without Jungkook having enough and leaving to go home, and then God knows what might happen to him.

Oh, Taehyung wants to puke.

“So, where are we going?” Jungkook finally asks once they reach the entrance and he sees the other stop in his tracks, as if unsure of where to step next.

“Somewhere.” is what Taehyung says.

“That’s not a place. Do you have an actual plan?”

“No.”

Jungkook scoffs. “Fantastic. Seriously. You force me to spend the whole fucking day with you, but you don’t know the first thing about this plan. What, are we meant to stand here until the sun rises tomorrow?” he questions, and Taehyung hates how he sounds so detached. They haven’t talked to each other in so long, and that’s not how he remembers Jungkook’s voice sounding when talking to him. “Kim? Wake up.”

Taehyung looks away. “I wasn’t expecting you to say yes.” he admits.

The footballer’s shoulders sag at that. “Well, yeah, me either.” he mumbles.

“Let’s just go there.” Taehyung quietly points, and Jungkook follows his finger to a café across the street. “We… We used to go there all the time. It’s probably still good.”

“I haven’t been there in forever.” Jungkook admits. “Fine by me, though. Go.” he just gestures for the elder to lead the way, and Taehyung does. Jungkook has no idea of what’s going on, and he’s growing more and more uncertain. Taehyung looks stressed and worried, and his desperation just minutes ago is beyond concerning.

But he doesn’t let himself ask. He promised himself to not reach out.

He’s only there to ensure Taehyung’s safety — he promised him that, after all.

“Go first.” Taehyung gestures at the crosswalk, and Jungkook halts.

“Why?” he has to check.

“Just go.”

“Are you going to push me in front of a moving car?”

“Can you just fucking—” Taehyung stops himself, swallowing the lump in his throat that is growing bigger and bigger by the second. “Cross with me, then.”

Jungkook eyes him. “You’re actually insane. Fine, let’s go.” they cross the road side by side, and Taehyung’s wide eyes study every car, every movement around them, lest an irresponsible driver take Jungkook’s life right then and there.

They safely get to the other side, and Taehyung even holds the door open, because he doesn’t put it past the universe to make the glass door shatter right as Jungkook opens it, leaving the young man bleeding out on the floor in front of him. Traumatic, horrific.

Jungkook’s the one walking in front, but Taehyung isn’t surprised when he ends up picking the same booth where they usually sat together. In the corner, with the outside view of their campus. It was comfortable, always empty.

Taehyung sits on what used to be his assigned seat.

Jungkook sits across from him.

They put their belongings down, completely quiet.

Taehyung opens his bag to get his specs, forgotten in there after the whole stressful ordeal that followed his practice. Then he spots, at the very bottom and under his equipment, the gloves. “You must be kidding…” they were there, the entire time. He thought that they had been stolen by someone when he tried to retrieve them and they were gone — but they were there, and he could’ve avoided everything that happened.

But… that would’ve meant that he wouldn’t find out about Jungkook’s date.

That sounds terrifying.

He rushes to put the gloves on, lest he touch anyone else or even Jungkook himself, because he refuses to see the date flashing once again. And Jungkook watches in utter silence, because he’s asked so many times about the gloves in the past, and was told that it was a medical condition. He never quite believed it, but what could’ve he said?

A waitress approaches them not long after. They haven’t seen her before, so she’s most likely new. They haven’t been there in two years, after all; neither could muster the courage to go there without the other when it was a place so theirs.

“Good morning! My name’s Ahri, I’ll be taking your orders today. What can I get you started with? Are we having some late breakfast, or are we having some early lunch?” she greets them with a polite smile, holding a small notepad to write it down.

“Hi, good morning.” Taehyung smiles, trying not to look as nervous as he is. “I’ll just have a coffee, please. Uhm, a latte, with lactose-free milk, if you have it…” he orders, because he doesn’t believe to be capable of stomaching any sort of solid food, and then just looks over at Jungkook, waiting for him to order, too.

“I’ll have a coke and…” he puckers his lips, giving it a thought.

“French fries with ketchup and mayo, and a cheese toast.” Taehyung suggests, or more so, finishes off for him, and Jungkook raises his eyebrows in surprise.

“Uh, yeah, that will be it.” Jungkook nods as the waiter writes it down.

“Alright, I’ll bring your drinks shortly, and the food will take about ten minutes.”

“Thanks.” both men say, in unison, and she walks away from them.

“You remember my order?” Jungkook eyes him.

Taehyung nods. “Of course.”

“Hm. That was a shot of luck, maybe.” he puts the idea down, because he refuses to believe that the elder still remembers what he ordered there, even after two years of no contact. It’s a generic request, a cheese toast and fries, so it might not mean anything.

But the elder looks at him with a sigh. “When you order a coke to drink, that’s what you ask for… If you get a sprite, then you always got the nachos with the extra cheese on top, and bacon. If it’s a coffee day, it’s always a black americano with three fucking sugars that should’ve given you diabetes by now… and a slice of whatever cake they have.”

Jungkook blinks.

Ok. That wasn’t a shot of luck.

Taehyung can see the surprise in his eyes. “I told you. I remember.”

“That’s actually concerning. Why do you care about that after so long?” he deflects, because that’s much easier than letting the attention get to his heart again.

The elder rolls his eyes. “Whatever, Jungkook.”

They resort to silence following that, because neither wants to fight and their tones were heading that exact path. Taehyung closes his eyes, breathes in and out slowly to maintain his nerves under control. If he wants Jungkook to last the entire day around him without getting angry and just going home, then he has to keep it interesting. He has to keep it casual and, more importantly, he has to make him comfortable.

So, he swallows drily, and looks back up. “How’s your new roommate?” is what he settles for asking. He remembers how Jungkook had gotten paired up with someone on their last year, so they’re certainly gone by now.

“He’s never there. He’s got a girlfriend, and he stays at her dorm every night, so I see him about… one night a week, at best.” Jungkook actually answers, contrary to what he expected. “I like it, it gives me the whole room to myself.”

“Ah, that’s cool…” Taehyung nods. Jungkook hums. “Do you still leave clothes everywhere?” he jokes, because that’s what comes naturally with Jungkook.

“No.” the aforementioned answers, a little too quickly.

Taehyung chuckles. “Liar.”

“Listen, I’ve matured.” Jungkook defends himself as if his pride is on the line, and the other can only hum again, though his face shows just how much he doesn’t believe him for a second. “Do you still rely on ramen since you can’t even fry an egg?”

“What— I can cook now.” Taehyung frowns.

“Since when?”

“Since… recently.” Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “Shut up.”

“Same old.” is all he says, and Taehyung is just glad that he didn’t bring up the time that he made the microwave explode for leaving the fork in the noodle cup. They spent most of their time in Taehyung’s dorm back when they were on good terms, because his roommate dropped out after a week and left the whole room for him, and Jungkook was always the assigned cook — otherwise, Taehyung just microwaved whatever he could find at the grocery store. Jungkook always made fun of his cooking skills.

“Excuse me… Here’s your latte, lactose-free, of course…” the young woman leaves the mug in front of him. “And your coke. Enjoy!” she says, and the new objects give them something to fiddle with, to distract themselves and to break the avoidance of eye contact. Now, they can use their drinks as an excuse.

“How’s your mom?” Taehyung questions.

“She’s good. She… asks about you every time that I see her.” Jungkook reveals with a little pained chuckle, paired with that head tilt that he does out of habit.

“Oh. Mine asks, too.” he looks down at his coffee, using the metal spoon to mix the milk and the coffee together. “She always says that ‘you never know’ when I tell her that we’re not talking, still.” Taehyung adds in a quiet tone.

And Jungkook can’t answer that, because he goes through the same.

They always took each other back home whenever there was a break, and they even spent the holidays together on the short ten-month period that they had each other close. Christmas at Taehyung’s house, because Jungkook’s family doesn’t care to celebrate it, and New-Year’s at Jungkook’s, because Taehyung’s family doesn’t even get together on such date. Balanced. It worked.

Taehyung takes a sip from his coffee, hums at the taste.

Jungkook chuckles in front of him. “You have…” he begins, but doesn’t finish his sentence as his hand instinctively reaches forward and up to wipe away the little bit of foam that was left on Taehyung’s upper lip.

Taehyung jerks back, surprised and hyperaware of any sort of contact.

He’s spent so long avoiding touch, that even if he knows that dates only appear if his own hands touch someone, he just refuses touch altogether.

To Jungkook, however, that’s just outright rejection. He retreats. “Right, sorry. You just have some— milk. There.” the footballer points at himself, gesturing where the spot it, and Taehyung rushes to use a napkin to wipe it away.

“Thank you.” he says once done.

“It’s nothing…” Jungkook mumbles before he goes back to his drink and, suddenly, there’s that same distance between them again. Taehyung notices that his shoulders have stiffened, that he’s not even looking at him anymore, but he doesn’t open his mouth to clarify why he reacted the way that he did. Why would he?

No, actually, how would he, without having to explain… everything?

So, instead of trying to fix the hurt that he keeps on causing, he thinks of something to change the topic into. “Are you seeing someone?” Taehyung asks out of the blue.

Jungkook shakes his head. “Nope. You?”

“Also no.” he looks up.

“Have you dated, though?” it’s Jungkook’s turn to ask something, curious.

“No. Nothing serious.”

“Nobody?” he finds it hard to believe. “Why? Everyone wants you.”

“Well, I don’t want anyone, so.” Taehyung settles for saying, unconsciously looking down at the biggest reason: the gloves covering his hands. The even bigger reason is sitting across from him in a black hoodie and jeans. “How about you?” he turns it.

“I dated a girl for a bit.” Jungkook admits, and he can see Taehyung biting down on his teeth and trying not to react. It makes him chuckle. “Why do you look annoyed?”

“I’m literally not.” Taehyung shuts the idea down.

“You look a second away from throwing the coffee at me.”

“You—” he stops when the waitress returns, holding two plates.

“Here you go. Your fries, and your toastie. If you need anything else, just call me and I’ll be right over to take the order.” the young girl bows to them as they thank her once again, but they don’t break the eye contact that they’ve started holding.

“You look annoyed as fuck.”

“Well, you’re annoying as fuck. Eat your food.” he gestures.

Jungkook tilts his head. “It wasn’t anything serious, it only lasted two months. I was just… trying, seeing where it took me.” he explains in a softer voice, though aware that he doesn’t owe any sort of explanation; he still wants to give it.

And Taehyung’s shoulders do relax. “Did you enjoy it?”

“Nope.”

Taehyung smiles. “Good.”

Jungkook’s hand stops on the way to his mouth to eat a fry. “How is that good?”

“Seriously, shut up, just eat your food.”

2 YEARS, 8 MONTHS PRIOR

Taehyung looks up when someone drops their belongings on the table in front of him before also plopping down on the seat. His eyes slide down the bridge of his nose, eyeing Jungkook with one eyebrow raised in interest. He didn’t tell the younger that he would be there, so how did he just know?

“Hello to you, too.” Taehyung greets.

“Hey, Tae. I went to your dorm, and I saw your to-do list. I saw that you were planning on studying, so I invited myself to join you. I knew that you’d be here.” Jungkook explains with a large grin, already getting out the book and notepad that he’ll need for that study session. “Cute Star Wars pajamas on the bed, by the way. Nerd.”

“I have… many questions. One, how did you even get in?”

“Don’t be dumb.” Jungkook tsks. “I stole the spare key, like, two weeks ago already.”

Taehyung blinks. “That’s… totally normal. Second question, weren’t you meant to study with your friends today? You said something about it yesterday.”

Jungkook hums as he reaches across the table to remove a little crumb from the muffin that Taehyung ate earlier, left under his bottom lip. He proceeds to eat it without a second of thought; blueberry, he finds. “Well, yes, but I like you more than I like them.”

And that’s the biggest thing that they’ve noticed during the two months that they’ve been friends. Taehyung already had a huge friend group afore meeting him, and the younger has made some friends himself… but they always find each other together.

It’s easy to bail out on anything else… but they never bail out on each other.

“Let me just say, you’re so fucking brave for calling me nerd over liking Star Wars when you’re over there jerking off to Tony Stark, or whatever.”

Jungkook gasps. “I do not!”

“Whatever…!” Taehyung sing-songs.

Someone clears their throat right by their side, and Jungkook flushes a deep red all the way down to his neck while Taehyung falls into a pit of laughter. “I was obviously not meant to hear that, so… Hello, what can I get you today?”

“I’ll just have a coffee. Black, ok, like, an americano with three sugars, and I’ll do a blueberry muffin, if you still have any.” he requests, the taste of the little crumb still lingering on his tongue. The waiter leaves after bowing, and Jungkook wants to perish.

“You’re so embarrassing!” Taehyung teases.

“Fuck you, exposing my business like that.” Jungkook mumbles, reaching over to steal one of Taehyung’s pens. Taehyung only giggles before he continues his school work, focusing on the notes that he was taking.

But then another one of his pens is taken from him, and that makes him frown.

“You might get diabetes one day or the other, by the way. Three sugars? That’s not even coffee anymore.” Taehyung says, because he just has to mention such absurdity.

“Did Gordon Ramsay die and make you his replacement?” Jungkook tsks. “It’s not your foot that will be cut due to diabetes, so leave me alone with my delicious coffee.”

“It’s actually dessert at this point.” he presses more, teases harder.

“You’re annoying.” Jungkook points while underlining a sentence.

“Order something easier to memorize, then, how can I remember all of that?”

“Try harder! Show care!” he dramatizes.

Taehyung laughs. “You’re such a clown. I can’t stand you.”

“You’ll live.”

When yet another pen is grabbed, he has to look up. “Stop stealing my pens.”

“Yours have better energy. Mine aren’t working.” Jungkook excuses, waving a dismissive hand, the other currently scribbling down something on the page.

“You’re genuinely ridiculous.” Taehyung insults without a drop of malice.

Jungkook looks up with a boyish grin. “Yet, you’re still talking to me.”

Taehyung groans. “You have to stop using that line.”

“I can’t. Like, I physically can’t. It was so fucking smooth of you. I’ll recite that on my wedding vows to you.” Jungkook mocks, but his voice sounds so playful that the elder can’t even begin to feel annoyed at him. So, he simply rolls his eyes with a smile.

“Again, ridiculous.”

Jungkook’s order arrives, and they both take that as initiative to just focus back on what they’re there to do: studying. Taehyung’s already very much into it, given that he’s been there by himself for about fifty minutes now, but Jungkook doesn’t feel like getting anything done on a random Tuesday afternoon.

He scrolls through social media while he eats his muffin and, even when he puts the phone down to study and start taking notes, his eyes end up mostly either on the television mounted on the wall, or on the young man sitting across from him.

And the elder is completely focused, already having reached flow state with the topic that he’s studying; he has discarded one of his shoes, and has his socked foot resting comfortably across Jungkook’s thigh.

Taehyung feels the heat of the stare at some point, so he glances up, only to take a double look. “Why are you staring at me?”

“I’m not. You just happen to be in front of me.” Jungkook tries to play it off.

“So is your textbook.” Taehyung gestures towards it.

“It’s uglier.” Taehyung scoffs at that, throwing the pen that he was holding, but the footballer catches it. “Thanks, how did you know that I needed another one?”

“Are you even studying?” the elder asks, trying to peek into Jungkook’s notes. “How many pages have you gone through so far? Ten?”

Jungkook laughs. “Nice try. One, actually.”

“We’ve been here for almost two hours, what the fuck have you been doing?!”

“I was thinking.” Taehyung raises an eyebrow. “Thinking about how much I fucking hate studying. My God, why am I here?” he whines as he sags on his chair, and the action is so child-like that it makes Taehyung laugh. “Let’s take a break. I beg!”

“Fine, stop being dramatic.” he gives in, and he thoroughly appreciates the opportunity to rest his mind and his eyes for a moment; he’s also growing tired. “Have you decided what you’re doing next weekend? Your cousin’s getting married, right?”

“Don’t even remind me.” Jungkook groans. “I don’t want to go back home just for that, I’d rather sleep through the weekend… but my mom wants me there. She’s already missing me.” he sits up straight. “Would you come with?” he asks, his hand unconsciously reaching for the ankle resting over his thigh, fingers massaging it.

“Sorry? To the wedding?”

“Well, yeah.” Jungkook nods. “I can take a plus-one, and my cousin is kind of rich, so the open-bar and the food will probably be really fucking good.” he strategically mentions. “Also, you’ve never been to Busan, so I could show you around my hometown.”

“I mean…” Taehyung takes a moment.

“The ring bearer is going to be their Golden Retriever.”

“You got me there.” he gives in. “I’ll tag along.”

“Great.” Jungkook smiles. “I’ll tell my mom later. She’s also going to finally understand that you actually exist and it’s not a hidden girlfriend. She thinks that I came up with whatever name to hide a ‘special someone’ from her.” he admits.

“I might just call you ‘baby’ in front of her and get you in trouble.”

“I’ll slam you into the five-tier cake.”

“Yummy.” Taehyung shows him his tongue. “But also, how much do you talk about me to your mom on the phone that she hears my name enough to think that I’m a hidden love of yours?” he asks, expecting Jungkook to retreat and dodge the question.

Instead, he shrugs. “A normal amount.” he says. “Okay, maybe above average.”

“You fumbled under no pressure, I didn’t even insist.” he teases.

“I felt the psychological warfare.” Jungkook jokes, and it makes him laugh.

“Fucking idiot. I’m calling your mom and telling her that you broke into my room.”

“Loser. I was on the phone with her while I did it.” he shrugs again. “Deal with it.”

“How do I even deal with you…” Taehyung fakes a sigh while he shakes his head from side to side, but then looks back up in curiosity. “You sound miserable talking about having to go. I know that five tiers of cake, free food and an open-bar sound so incredibly bad… but do you hate weddings, or…? Do you not want to get married?”

“When I was a kid, I used to. Then I grew up and realized that I’m bisexual and learnt that if I end up with a man, I might not even be able to legally marry him in my own damn country. So, I kind of dropped the idea. I don’t hate weddings, I’m just lazy and having to go there on purpose is already giving me a headache.” Jungkook explains, biting the end of the pen that he’s holding. “I don’t think about my future too much, to be honest. I don’t—” he hesitates. “I don’t even know what the fuck I want to do with my life yet. After college, and all. It makes me paranoid if I start thinking.”

“You don’t have to know yet.” Taehyung assures with a little smile, reaching towards him to remove the pen from his mouth before he bites it too hard and the ink explodes — it wouldn’t be the first time, and they still have ruined shirts because of it.

“Do you know?”

Taehyung shrugs. “Not really.”

“Good. We’re both screwed, then.” Jungkook puckers his lips. “I just hope to have you in my life. I reckon that I’ll be good with whatever outcome, if that’s the case.” he says, with such raw honesty and so unprompted, that it makes Taehyung shudder.

His cheeks turn a cute shade of pink. “Same, Kook. Same.”

“Oh, yuck. I’m stuck with you, then?” Jungkook asks with a smile so big that it reaches his eyes. Taehyung reaches forward to flick his chin.

“You can’t get rid of me.”

“Promise?”

Taehyung hums. “Promise.

01:15 PM, PRESENT

Taehyung holds the door open for Jungkook again, an action that is starting to confuse him a little, given that he always did it himself, but he doesn’t find the energy to complain about it. They had a decent time at the café and, even if the conversation didn’t fill the silence the entire time, it didn’t feel as uncomfortable as they expected.

It scares them, in a way, how easy their bodies fall back into the old rhythm.

There’s no way that they can ignore the elephant standing by their side, but… the jokes roll off their tongues with ease, their shoulders relax when looking at each other.

It’s weird.

It’s scary.

They cross the road together again, set on walking around campus for a little as a way to buy some time until they decide on something better to do together. Jungkook’s walking ahead of him, which is good, because it enables Taehyung to continue eyeing every single possible threat around them.

While he’s internally screaming at anything that could inflict any sort of danger on the younger man, Jungkook is just walking with his hands in the front pocket of his hoodie. He walks way too fast for Taehyung’s liking.

He hesitantly walks closer, catches the back of his hoodie. “Slow down.”

Jungkook turns to him with an eyebrow raised. “I’m walking at a normal pace, you’re just too fucking slow.” he defends, though he does slow down his strides.

“You’re walking like you’re being chased.” Taehyung mumbles, now trying to quicken his own pace so that they’ll walk side by side instead. If anything comes in their direction, he won’t be able to defend them if he continues walking too far behind.

“I am being chased by you, not going to lie.” he says, but there’s a little twitch at the corner of his lips that tells Taehyung that he’s just joking, and not actually accusing him of the exact thing that he spent the morning doing.

If he mentioned it, he’d be completely correct.

“Well, slow down, then, because I can’t chase you that fast.” Taehyung still plays along with a shrug. He might play basketball and be good at it, but that sort of speed does not translate off the court. Lazy, Jungkook used to call it.

It’s a sunny day, and the gardens are quite filled with students either having lunch or talking amongst themselves; the afternoon classes haven’t started yet, so everyone is just enjoying the warm weather while they can.

The two walk together through campus in slow, unhurried steps. Not only because their encounter has to last for many, many hours still, but also because it feels so nostalgic that they’re both unconsciously trying to make it last longer.

“Did you notice that they got rid of the vending machine?” Jungkook points to one of the corners, and Taehyung’s eyebrows arch up in surprise; he hadn’t noticed it.

“Maybe it’s better this way. It stole your money so many times until you learned your lesson.” Taehyung tries to say without laughing, but he snorts at the end.

“It was only twice, but ok.” the footballer rolls his eyes.

“Eight times.”

Jungkook side-eyes him. “How do you even know that?”

“Because you called me every time, banging on the machine.” Taehyung argues.

There’s a moment of silence. “Yeah, it might’ve been eight times. Whatever.”

They both fight off their smiles, letting the conversation cease for a moment.

Taehyung notices how the man walking with him starts being left behind, and has to look back to find Jungkook stopped, just quietly looking in a specific direction. He stops, too — follows his eyes to a secluded area in one of the gardens.

And it’s as if he could hear Jungkook’s thoughts, so he walks closer, considers his next words before deciding to just go for it. “Remember when we fell asleep there, watching the stars, and woke up in the morning with the sprinklers turning on?”

Jungkook looks at him, genuine surprise flashing behind his eyes. While he’s not surprised that Taehyung remembers that night, he’s surprised that the aforementioned knew exactly what he was thinking about. “I still maintain that someone turned them on purposely, to get us to leave.” he says with a squint.

“We’ve been through this. They’re programmed that way.”

“I don’t believe it.” Jungkook shrugs, before walking away from him and towards the spot that they always sat at. There’s a small bench there, but they always sat on the grass instead. Today, however, he walks over to the bench, and sits.

Taehyung quietly follows; sits by his side with a careful distance between them.

Jungkook notices, but doesn’t say anything. Back then, when they sat on the grass that, undeniably, has so much more space than the bench, some part of their bodies would always be touching. It was automatic. It’s impossible not to make the connections.

For half a second, Jungkook’s arm lifts to spread over the back of the bench, an old and silent invitation for Taehyung to rest against him, but he catches himself.

He can’t do that.

He looks over at the elder, toys with his lip ring for a moment, thinking of a new memory to challenge him with. It’s not only a way to fill the silence, but also to soothe the quieter part of him that needs to know just how much Taehyung actually remembers.

As though it’s some sort of metric for care.

And it’s bad, it is, because he doesn’t even understand why they’re there.

“Remember when we found a porcupine here while studying for a final?” Jungkook recalls, a memory that was pushed to the deep vaults of his brain given that it happened incredibly early in their friendship.

He watches Taehyung’s expression attentively, looking for signs of him having to dig into his brain to remember such a thing, but he doesn’t find it. To his surprise, once again, Taehyung laughs. He laughs immediately.

“You thought that it was a hedgehog, and tried to pick it up.” the elder remembers between giggles. “I remember how fast you ran away when it got its spikes on your hand… and how much you whined when I tried to pull them off.”

“Motherfucker had me bleeding from every finger.” he mumbles, slightly embarrassed by that addition; he did whine quite a lot, because it hurt and the spikes were long and set surprisingly deep into his flesh. Taehyung laughs harder at his tone.

“I told you to leave it alone…” the elder almost sing-songs. “Stop testing my memory, by the way. I remember everything, Jungkook.” the confession brings the mood a little down, the lightness of it fading away as they look back at each other, smiles fading.

“That’s what scares me.” Jungkook quietly says.

Taehyung tilts his head. “Me remembering?”

The other looks away with a sigh. “Being unable to forget.”

And Taehyung opens his mouth to argue against it, because it’s good to retain his memories even when people drift apart, but he can’t say such a thing. He’s had so many sleepless nights over the course of the last two years, staring at the ceiling and reliving memories and moments long lost in the past.

Is it really better to remember, when the version of someone you crave so badly only exists in fragments of the past, left in him in the form of memories? When that person remains so close, sharing the same campus, yet farther away than ever?

Would he rather just… forget?

If he doesn’t end the day somehow beating the damned date, memories are going to be all that he has left, and he has no idea of how he’s meant to deal with it. So, really, wouldn’t it be so much better if he could forget it all?

“We used to come here after practice.” his drifting thoughts come to an abrupt stop when Jungkook speaks again, still not looking at him. “Unless it was raining…”

Taehyung chuckles. “You used to complain about your legs, every fucking time.”

Jungkook tsks. “Can you blame me? After running so much after a ball, you always made me walk a lot. Like today, just fucking walking, all the time. I hate walking.”

“I know.” he hums. “But you still said yes every time.”

“That’s because you look cute when I say yes.” the footballer teases.

The elder pauses. “What?”

Jungkook looks away. “Nothing.” he shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter now.”

2 YEARS, 5 MONTHS PRIOR

“…and that cloud looks like a mushroom, doesn’t it?” Jungkook gestures to the sky, sounding beyond excited at the mere prospect of having found another identifiable shape. Taehyung pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, squints. “No?”

“I can’t see shit, if I’m honest.” he admits. In his defense, it’s almost one in the morning, so expecting him to see clouds in the night sky when he daily battles his myopia is a reach. “If you say that it looks like a mushroom, I believe you.” he still gives in.

“I swear, it does.” the younger assures, looks at him with enthusiasm. Just in time to catch sight of Taehyung shivering and hugging himself. “You’re freezing.” he points.

“I’m fine.” Taehyung says, but they both know that to be a lie.

“I told you to bring a jacket…” Jungkook forces a sigh despite being unable to feel bothered when he has the chance of taking care of him. He removes his own jacket, draping it over Taehyung’s shoulders carefully. “I can see you shaking, keep this on.”

“But you’re going to be cold.” Taehyung argues.

“I’m warm, it’s fine.” Jungkook insists. “Keep it, please.” he sounds a little more serious, and the elder relents by putting the jacket on. Jungkook zips it up for him, going as far as smoothing it out on his arms. “Better?” he smiles.

Taehyung mirrors it. “Better. And, you, come here.” he opens his arm, already pulling Jungkook closer before he even processes the request. They sit in each other’s embrace for a moment, basking in the warmth that body contact brings them.

In such a chilly night, they’re not so sure that the warmth doesn’t come from the fact that it’s them, and being pressed together like this is enough for their temperature to rise, making them run a little hotter than they care to acknowledge.

“Did your cousin adopt the new dog already?” Taehyung asks, recalling the conversation that they had with the man at the wedding. While Taehyung did go as a plus-one, his supposed pair barely even saw him during the whole ceremony as the elder was far more interested in following the Golden Retriever around.

But, really, he can’t be blamed. Dough had a suit and a tie.

“Tae, c’mon. I know that you wouldn’t speak to me for two days if I had received such pictures and didn’t show you.” Jungkook exposes, which makes him laugh. “He hasn’t been approved yet, but soon, I think.” he adds. “He also sent me pictures of their new house, they moved in yesterday… Do you want to see them?”

“Sure. Later, though. I’m… comfortable.” Taehyung whispers the last part, resting his chin on the top of Jungkook’s head that in itself lies against his chest.

“Me, too.” the footballer nods. “It made me fantasize a little. You know, about having my own house one day, to fill up with family and pets.” he drags out.

“Do you want a lot of pets?”

“Hm… I don’t think so. I just know that I want a dog.” Jungkook says, but Taehyung already knew that much. Jungkook always talks about wanting a Doberman someday. “I also want to have, like, a fuck-ton of plants. Your mom’s collection has made me jealous.”

Taehyung hums. “You can’t take care of a plant, they’re sensitive beings. You’d kill it in a week for frantically drenching it in water. I can already imagine it.”

“Don’t they need a lot of water?” Jungkook pouts.

The elder laughs. “See.”

“Whatever. I’ll have you take care of them, then. Or, I’ll ask your mom for help.” he says as he pulls back from his chest, but the proximity doesn’t decrease; he doesn’t move away, so their legs remain pressed against each other’s. “We could live together.”

Taehyung takes a moment, looks between his eyes in search of the implication behind the suggestion; smiles. “We could.” he nods, one of his hands unconsciously falling on Jungkook’s one that is resting on the lawn. Their fingers intertwine without a word.

“I’ll be the cook of the house, though. I’m not letting you burn down the kitchen.”

“That’s probably safer for everyone.” he doesn’t even try to fight it.

Jungkook’s eyes flicker between his eyes and his lips for a moment.

Neither addresses it.

“Would you ever move somewhere with me?” Jungkook asks, a new layer of seriousness in his tone. His smile is long gone, expression soft and just… waiting.

“Yeah.” Taehyung answers without even thinking.

“Anywhere?”

This time the elder takes a moment to actually process the question, looks at him in study but, in the end, he comes to the same conclusion. “Yes.”

Jungkook smiles. “You can’t take those Star Wars posters, though. It’ll be an adult house, for grown-ups to live. Your nerdy ass will have to get over this phase.”

Taehyung lets out a sound of pure offense. “You have Peter Parker as your phone’s background, and I’m the nerd going through a phase? Check yourself first!”

“Listen.” Jungkook begins. “Peter Parker is different.”

“How so?”

“It just is. That’s how life works.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “If you say so.” he backs down. “Nerd.”

“Shut up.” Jungkook laughs, hand reaching for Taehyung’s bangs when they blow to the front of his eyes as the wind brushes past them. He gently tucks those loose strands behind the other’s ear, unwilling to lose access to Taehyung’s eyes during such conversation. “I’ll want a display in the living room for the LEGOS, ok?”

“That’s fine… As long as we can keep my books in another one.”

“Seems fair.” Jungkook nods. “Can I choose the kitchen appliances?”

Taehyung cackles. “I’m never touching them, so… yes. Of course.”

“What if I’m really sick? Won’t you cook for me?” he questions, but speaks faster than Taehyung can open his mouth. “Never mind, I’d get even sicker.”

“You’re so ungrateful.” Taehyung tries not to laugh, letting himself fall backwards on the grass. Jungkook lies right by his side without the need for an invite. “I want a colorful house. Your emo-ass will have to deal with it.”

“Ok, no, that one will have to be thoroughly discussed.” Jungkook draws the line.

Taehyung giggles. He doesn’t even want a colorful house, he just likes teasing him.

“What if one of us gets a job somewhere else?” he voices as the thought pops into his mind uninvited. “You’ve always said that you want to live here in Seoul…”

Jungkook hums. “And I do, but it doesn’t mean that plans don’t change. We’d just move if one of us found a job somewhere else. If it’s a good deal, you now, why not.”

“Just like that?” Taehyung presses.

“Hey. You’ve already said ‘anywhere’, and there are no takebacks.”

The elder rolls his eyes. “I’d go. I’m just wondering. What if I got some horrible job in the middle of nowhere, and you’ll only see trees from the fucking window?”

“Does it have Wi-Fi?”

“Uh— Probably, right.” Taehyung tries to think logically. There aren’t many places where Wi-Fi is unavailable nowadays, and they’re thinking in a rational matter.

“I’ll survive, then.”

“But would that make you happy?” the question feels a little too deep to be inserted in such a conversation, and it makes him have to stop for a moment to think it through properly. “And, be serious. Don’t say some bullshit to be funny.” he prefaces.

“Hm…” as silence takes over them, Jungkook looks to the side. He fiddles with the metal ring on his bottom lip, freshly-pierced and still sore, and he just… stares. The moonlight shines beautifully on Taehyung’s face, reflecting on his unblemished skin and making his eyes look even shinier than normal.

What does happiness mean? It doesn’t equal football, it doesn’t equal finding a job in his major, it equals an — apparently — colorful house full of life. The thought alone is sufficient to make his heart feel a little warmer.

“I can compromise with whatever, I think… As long as I have someone that I love living with me.” he speaks into the quiet night, his voice just loud enough. “That would be happiness of me. Whatever job, whatever place, but coming home and feeling loved.”

Taehyung turns his head to him, meeting his eyes. They hold it for a moment.

“What about you?”

“I think… I’d be happy somewhere that actually feels like home.” he shrugs.

The words hang in the air for a couple of seconds, and while Taehyung thinks that he’s said something so touching that Jungkook is having to process it, the younger is instead trying to take it seriously. “That’s so fucking vague, I can’t accept that.”

“Wha— Yours is vague, too.” Taehyung defends, nudging him.

“No, it’s not. Mine was incredibly precise and detailed.”

“Fine.” he gives in. “I’d be happy… Well, somewhere safe, coming home to someone who will make my day feel instantly good even if I fuck it up at work, or if my tire bursts on the way home, or— I don’t know.”

“Oh, call me if it happens. I actually know how to change a tire.” Jungkook grins.

Taehyung laughs. “Two minutes before you’re cussing the tire left and right.”

“Don’t judge my ways, judge my results.” he tsks, growing conscious of their proximity when Taehyung flicks his chin. They’re lying with their sides pressed against each other’s, and their heads are facing the side; Jungkook can count Taehyung’s lashes.

“I’d call you, either way. I’d be freaking out, and your voice calms me down…”

A moment of silence.

“Yeah?” Jungkook whispers back.

Taehyung only nods.

Jungkook scoots a little closer, until he tucks his forehead against Taehyung’s neck, and they both close their eyes. They can hear the crickets in the distance, the wind ruffling the leaves around them, and it’s almost like a lullaby that they’re growing conscious of.

While it is still cold, they couldn’t be more comfortable.

“We should probably head back.” Taehyung whispers, opening his eyes again when he receives no answer from the other man. “Kook?” he calls; again, nothing. “Did you seriously fall asleep?” he still has to ask, even if he doesn’t expect an answer.

This time, however, there’s a tiny snort as Jungkook shifts closer to his warmth.

“Ok, we can take a nap…”

03:00 PM, PRESENT

It doesn’t take them long to get hit with boredom, because they still can’t just talk about whatever like they used to. Back then, hours could pass and would feel like minutes, the topics endless and the comfort just as effortless.

So, much to Jungkook’s dismay, they return to walking.

Taehyung insists that they walk side by side now, which forces Jungkook to slow his pace down to match his slower one. They both walk with their hands in their pockets, and while the footballer carelessly watches the cars, and the people, Taehyung is frantically inspecting everything like a hawk.

When they’re sitting down, talking about something or just in each other’s silence, he gets to let his guard down a little. He gets to pretend that they’re spending the day together for, literally, any other reason than the true one.

When they’re walking, especially with no finite destination, he can’t calm his heart.

“Look, it’s you.” Jungkook calls from his side.

“Huh?” Taehyung faces him. “Oh.” his steps come to a stop, mirroring the other’s, and they both stare at the building to their right. It’s been long since he’s walked down that street, but even when he did after they broke contact, he always looked away — he always did his utmost best to ignore it… because even a simple wall made him miserable.

There are multiple different graffiti art pieces on the wall, and one of them looks like him. Well, in Jungkook’s eyes it does. He never thought so, but seeing Jungkook laugh so hard the first time, and be so impressed, made him play along.

“Fuck it.” Jungkook mumbles, getting his phone. “Stand there.”

Taehyung shakes his head. “I don’t want to.” he pouts; he always complained.

“Do I look like I care? Go.” the footballer demands as he gestures to the wall. In contrast to his sharp words, his voice is soft, and Taehyung knows that he’d end up dropping it if he repeated that he doesn’t want to take a picture.

But… they always did.

Every single time that they walked past that building together.

“I’m not even well dressed today.” Taehyung still tries to argue.

“You’re forcing me to spend the whole day with you, so you really don’t get to complain about what I want to do. Go stand there.” Jungkook gestures once again, already positioning his phone to get a good angle. The elder groans, feigns annoyance to the best of his abilities as he walks closer to the graffiti.

He smiles, points at it with one hand.

“And… done.” Jungkook speaks right away, and it just feels off.

It’s the first time that a compliment doesn’t follow after a picture, but Taehyung can’t complain. He can’t blame Jungkook for withholding something that the latter spent two years accepting that he can’t give. It’s not Jungkook’s fault that he was pushed away.

“Let me see.” Taehyung requests, lightly jogging back to his side as Jungkook’s zooming in on his face to see it better. “I look awful, take another one.” he complains.

“What?” Jungkook eyes him. “Shut up. You know that you don’t.” he quietly says, dismissing the idea. Taehyung opens his mouth to argue, to insist, but stops to watch the other as he presses the three little dots in the top-right corner, and selects an album to add the picture to. The name of the album catches him off-guard.

Wall.

Taehyung reaches for the phone as a whole, to take it from Jungkook’s hands, and the younger doesn’t have the mind to fight him on it. He’s already exposed himself, so what more can he lose? Jungkook toys with his lip ring while Taehyung goes to the albums section of his gallery — and his eyes widen significantly.

All of the albums that were created for their pictures… still there.

“You still have all of these?” Taehyung asks, surprised, looking at him.

And Jungkook, instead of answering the question awkwardly, turns the spotlight around. “Did you delete them?” his voice comes out quieter, and the eye-contact that they hold screams louder than any words could; Taehyung gapes. “You did…?”

Taehyung gulps. “Not one.”

“Then don’t judge me. Loser.” Jungkook gets the phone back.

“Wha— I’m not judging you. Give me that back.”

“It’s literally my phone.”

“Yes, but I want to see them.” the basketballer complains as he successfully retrieves the object back, and begins walking away. Jungkook follows in silence. They rest against the wall, and Jungkook lets him open whatever album he feels like.

There aren’t many recent pictures, only some with friends here and there, but the elder doesn’t even snoop around those. He scrolls to the bottom of the page, and opens one that is titled one single emoji, the basketball one.

“Oh, this hair phase was… interesting.” Taehyung giggles as he opens one of the pictures. He has his usual light brown hair that he’s maintained for almost four years now, only sometimes adding lighter highlights to it, and Jungkook’s always kept his black locks — the hairstyles, however, changed constantly. In this one, Jungkook had the only hairstyle that Taehyung didn’t appreciate back then.

“Listen, it looked cool.” Jungkook defends his ponytail.

“Sure… if you say so.” he teases; he didn’t necessarily think it looked bad, but he couldn’t play with Jungkook’s hair whenever it was tied up, and he did not like that.

“Don’t forget that you cut your bangs too short once. And I have evidence.”

“I still looked hot.” Taehyung shrugs.

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”

Taehyung laughs as he opens another picture, one that they have mostly no recollection of as they once did an entire photoshoot while drunk. It’s fun to look back at the pictures that he tries so hard to ignore on his own phone.

And Jungkook’s eyes drift from the pictures to the man just inches away from him.

Taehyung’s face has no traces of the coldness and detachment that he saw for two whole years, there’s nothing else other than utter happiness and entertainment, and he looks absolutely stunning like this. Just like Jungkook remembers.

He has half the mind to reach up, wants to caress the curve of his cheek, raised by him smiling so hard, but holds himself back. He can’t. Taehyung no longer welcomes his touch, and they’re so relaxed that he doesn’t want to start another fight.

“I missed this.” he still says, unable to hold back.

“The pictures?” Taehyung says between another giggle as he swipes to the next picture of them; in this one, they’re hugging, but Taehyung’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes. It’s the first picture that he has the gloves on.

“You.” Jungkook bravely adds.

Taehyung looks up at him, the smile slowly slipping from his face and giving way to a more serious, careful expression. Their faces are close, so they spend a moment appreciating it; analyzing each other. While they’ve seen each other countless times around campus, it has only been from a distance, and it’s… different like this. It’s different to see each other’s little moles, the creases in their eyes from smiling.

He can see Taehyung swallowing, his eyes shifting between Jungkook’s.

It takes him a moment.

Then, Taehyung locks the phone and smiles again. “I know where we can go.”

“Enlighten me.” Jungkook plays along.

“Come on.” he just gestures with his head, and Jungkook’s hand instinctively reaches for his — back in the day, he’d be dragged following such sentence — but the elder is already walking away. Which, in the end, is good, as it spares him from any sort of embarrassment of not being reciprocated.

“Fuck…” he whispers to himself.

“Come on…!”

“Going…”

2 YEARS, 2 MONTHS PRIOR

Taehyung gets up from the chair where he’s been sitting for the last hour, trying to manage the migraine that he’s been fighting for almost a full week now. His mother is waiting by the door; her shift finished, and it’s time to go home.

On his days off, Taehyung enjoys visiting her at the palliative care home.

He knows how everyone there is living through their last days, or weeks, and if he can make them a little better by giving them some care and attention, he will.

“I’ll be back tomorrow to see everyone, and we’ll chat some more.” Taehyung says to the woman lying on the bed, and she raises her weak arm to offer her hand for him to caress. He smiles, holds it between his own two palms. His smile disappears, however, when his migraine spikes impossibly harder upon contact, to the point where his ears ring and his vision goes white at the edges.

He almost drops her hand, his own grip weakening.

Taehyung has to close his eyes for a moment when he sees black, dark figures that look like numbers right above her head. He shakes his head, then opens his eyes again.

And the numbers are still there, though distorted, moving along with her head.

“Taehyungie? Are you ok?” he hears his mother ask.

“I— Yes, yes.” Taehyung lies as he carefully puts down the woman’s hand as he eyes his mother. “It’s my headache, it’s just… gotten worse all of a sudden.” he admits, looking at the woman once again. This time around, there’s nothing above her head.

“That’s it, we’re going to the hospital. You can’t keep taking medicine when it’s not helping that migraine.” his mother decides right away. “I’ll go grab my things.”

“Alright…” Taehyung drags the word as he looks down at the bed. He then gently disguises the next touch as a mere affectionate caress, this time on her arm. The moment that his skin touches hers, the same numbers appear above her head. They’re still disfigured, a little shaky, and he wonders what in the world is going on.

He urgently needs to get his head checked.

He can’t understand why those black numbers are showing him tomorrow’s date.

Later at the hospital, they confirm that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with his head, which makes even less sense. He keeps his hands to himself the entire time after seeing another date pop above a nurse’s head; is he going insane?

Her date, contrary to the earlier one, displayed a date decades into the future when their hands accidentally met during one of the examinations.

The pills that he’s sent home with don’t really help, either, and he resorts to going to sleep as early as possible. When he’s unconscious, he doesn’t have to experience the pounding at the back of his head that doesn’t go away.

He falls asleep that night while on the phone with Jungkook, the younger man offering to go to his dorm to cuddle him through the pain — just like all the days before the entire week — but he politely refuses this time. He doesn’t understand the dates, and he doesn’t want to act insane around someone that he wants to show his best to.

He refuses to see a date above Jungkook’s head when he doesn’t know what it is.

The following day, he visits his mother again.

He heads directly to the room where he had been the prior afternoon to see the nice old woman that he had been talking to, but finds her bed empty. He furrows his brows, turns to a nurse passing by. “Hey, sorry to bother you… What happened to the woman that was there on this bed just yesterday?”

“Oh, she unfortunately passed away this morning…” she explains. “In her sleep.”

“I see. Thank you…” Taehyung walks into the room, scanning it with his eyes. There are five other patients, all taking their afternoon naps or simply resting their tired bodies.

His heart stings for the woman; he’s spent many hours talking to her, but his mother has always taught him not to get too attached to the patients that she cares for. They’re not there to get better, they’re there to end their days in peace and quiet.

He walks up to one of them, looks at his hands. That coincidence is absurd.

It can’t possibly be what he’s thinking.

Hesitantly, he raises his hand, and reaches for the sleeping man’s hand. The migraine isn’t as strong today, and his ears don’t ring upon contact even if the pain does spike a little bit. The date, too, is now clearer. “What the fuck…” he whispers to himself.

The date is exactly three days away, and he scrambles to grab his phone and open the notes. Taehyung gulps as he writes down the number of the bed, and the date shown.

He does the same thing for every patient in that room, and the one next to it. He always talks to all of them — or at least tries to approach all — so he’s able to peek at the dates during a hand-hold or a hair fix that lets his fingers graze their forehead.

The patients being in palliative care do make it a faster method of checking whether he’s developing some sort of neurological condition or supernatural abilities, and he’s terrified to find out which option is the correct one.

During the course of the following week, he visits his mother.

The migraine has disappeared, but the dates haven’t.

During that week, he doesn’t touch anyone other than those patients.

And during that week, he confirms six different dates.

One time, could be a coincidence. Twice, extremely weird. Seven?

It can’t be a misunderstanding anymore.

Taehyung sits Jimin down in his dorm after class, and explains the newfound ability with tears in his eyes. Jimin believes it to be a joke until Taehyung starts sobbing in his arms, terrified of the gift that his hands now carry. There are some extremely rare people in the world with different abilities, some weirder than others, but this?

Who would want to know such information?

Why would his gift be something so dark?

“So… Can you see my date?” Jimin asks as he offers his hands, and Taehyung leans away from him instinctively; he’s been avoiding everyone for a whole week already, dismissing any sort of physical contact and refusing to let his hands touch any skin outside the care home where his mother works.

“No. I don’t want to know.” he shakes his head. “I-I refuse to see the date of anyone that I care about, it’s— That’s so fucking macabre. I can’t, Jimin, I can’t.”

“Oh. Uhm… Does knowing the date make it… changeable? Like, can you prevent the death, or do anything to change the date? Is there any way? Like, imagine you touch me now and we don’t like the date. Can we do anything about it, or is it… settled?”

“I don’t have an answer to any of that. I’ve had this— fucking curse for a week only, so I haven’t had the chance to explore it much. And— And I don’t want to. I’m not going to go around attempting to figure any of that out. The only thing that I know with certainty, is that all the patients who had dates within this past week… I confirmed them, they were all correct. Not one was a fucking miss.”

“That’s fucking insane, Tae.” Jimin looks as horrified as he himself feels.

“I know. I know, and I don’t know how I’m meant to avoid this. I don’t want to see anyone else’s date. No one. I don’t want that burden, that weight on my shoulders and conscience… If I touch anyone’s skin, I see it. How am I meant to exist?” he cries out again, another tear rolling down his cheek. “Am I meant to chop my hands off?”

“That. Or… you can wear gloves.” his friend suggests, face lighting up with the idea.

“Gloves?”

“Well, you see the date only if you touch skin, right?” Jimin theorizes. “Try touching me with your sleeve over your hand.” he suggests, offering his hand again, but Taehyung hesitates. “C’mon. Squint so that you don’t see anything even if it appears.” he encourages, wiggling his hand with a supportive smile.

Taehyung sniffs, pulling his sleeve down until it covers his hand.

Then, he places it on Jimin’s smaller one.

He closes his eyes immediately, only opening one ever so slowly.

“Oh.” he says, opening both. “There’s nothing.”

“See. Gloves!” Jimin gives him a thumbs-up.

Taehyung looks away. That would work, yes… but what if he wants to touch the person? He might not want to know anyone’s date, and the gloves will make it possible for him to have some affection, at least, but what if he wants to feel the person?

What if he wants skin-on-skin?

He can’t bear the idea of touching someone that he loves, and seeing a death date above their head. That would consume him, destroy his sanity.

A new tear rolls down his cheek as a face appears in the back of his mind. That black hair, love-filled eyes and that stupidly bright smile that he never seems to lose. A face that relaxes him even in the most stressful, the worst days.

Jungkook.

04:15 PM, PRESENT

“Taehyung, I swear to God, I can’t walk anymore.” Jungkook complains.

“How the fuck do you run across the football field, like, every day?” Taehyung looks back at him with a judging expression that only makes Jungkook flip him off. Back in the day, when things were different, that would earn him either a bite to the finger, or that very same finger to be pulled back until he apologized.

“It’s not the same thing. I just fucking hate walking.” he stops. “I’m staying here.”

“No, you’re coming.” Taehyung states, not stopping, and Jungkook’s resolve lasts for approximately ten seconds before he continues. They’re back on campus, and the elder has made him walk across it and now into one of the buildings. “Since you brought back our old… thing, with the wall, I thought that we could relax for a bit somewhere that was also, uhm, our thing.” Taehyung explains as he gestures to the emergency door at the very end of one of the hallways.

It's the one door daily used by the janitors, so they know that the alarm doesn’t work. They found that out accidentally, when Jungkook tripped on his own feet one day and went stumbling against the door that, instead of setting off the alarm, just opened.

“Ah. The rooftop…” Jungkook’s lips twitch into a little smile, and the sight alone makes Taehyung mirror the action as he opens the door for him. The younger goes through first, and he follows just as excitedly. There are a lot of stairs that lead up to the rooftop but, knowing that he’s about to see their spot again, Jungkook doesn’t complain.

It looks exactly the same as it did two years ago.

Taehyung is the first one to sit down, and he taps the spot right next to him.

The space he chose, of course, nowhere near the edge or close to anything that might endanger Jungkook. He just wants to bring another routine back to life.

“Why here? Let’s sit on the edge.” Jungkook points.

“No. Sit here.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m older than you, and telling you to.” Taehyung frowns, patting the space again. Jungkook forces a sigh as he plops himself right there, but strategically places his school bag so that he can lie down and use it as a pillow. Taehyung copies the idea; it’s way more comfortable, and they can watch the sky like they used to.

“Remember that time when you nearly fell off the edge?” Taehyung recalls with a quiet giggle, looking for a cloud that has any identifiable shape to point out.

“I did not nearly fall, you pushed me. That was attempted murder.”

That makes Taehyung laugh. “I literally only tapped you, you’re insane.”

“With both hands. That’s the same thing as pushing me.” Jungkook defends. “I didn’t hear you approaching. If you hadn’t held me, I probably would’ve fallen right off and broken ninety percent of my bones.” again, the exaggeration makes Taehyung giggle.

His cheeks used to hurt every single day, from how much they laughed together.

“You’re so goddamn dramatic.” is what he says. “Besides… I don’t think that you’d actually survive the fall. It’s pretty high up…” the idea alone is enough to make his palms sweat a little; he’s thankful that he chose to sit away from the edge.

“No, I could do it.” Jungkook argues against his logic. “That cloud looks like a dog.”

“Where?”

“That one.” he points, and Taehyung has to drag himself closer to be able to follow the other’s finger from his perspective; now, their shoulders are touching.

“Damn it. It does.” Taehyung has to validate. They used to keep track of how many shapes each could identify, and the loser would have to do whatever that they had agreed on. That was their ritual when at the rooftop. To hear Jungkook so naturally slide back into that mindset, to pick up the game without even mentioning it, makes it sting.

“It’s… weird. Being back here, that is.” Jungkook says, quietly.

“Yeah.” Taehyung worries at his bottom lip.

“You never came here? Like, after?” after you stopped talking to me, is what he almost says, but holds back. There’s no need for words when they both know what he’s referring to. And, of course, Taehyung understands the question without clarification.

“I’d never take anyone to a place that I only knew with you.” Taehyung voices before he can even catch himself. “And— And coming here alone sounded depressing.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow once the weight of the words actually settles for him, and he turns his head to the side to face the other. Taehyung’s still facing up, his eyes scanning the sky in search of another cloud with a shape to get himself a point, but the younger’s attention can no longer remain on that. Not after hearing that.

He gulps, closes his eyes for a moment, and opens them again.

“Did I do something?” he asks, voice caught in his throat.

“Hm?” Taehyung mindlessly answers.

Jungkook sits up. “Did I do something, Taehyung?”

Taehyung’s little smile disappears, eyes growing sad. “No, you didn’t.”

“Did I ever hurt you? Is that it?” he still presses. He’s started the topic, and he won’t walk away from there without answers this time around. He’s had enough of beating around the bush and pretending that nothing happened; pretending they’re having a normal day when things between them were anything but normal only hours ago.

“No. You’ve never hurt me.” Taehyung whispers.

“Did you… meet someone?”

The elder sighs. “No, I d—”

“Did you just stop liking me? Did you regret… me? Did you get tired?” he asks without giving him time to say anything, and Taehyung just stares at him, expecting more questions, but he stops at those three. “You’ve got to tell me, I’m fucking losing it.”

“Jungkook, let’s not do this right now.” Taehyung tries, not only because he’s not ready for such a conversation, but also because he knows that it might end in a fight, and he can’t risk Jungkook leaving him. Who knows what may happen if he leaves by himself.

And Jungkook scoffs, gets to his feet. “You have to give me something. Did I become too much? Was I fucking clingy or some shit? Were you embarrassed of me, or did you just— want to look for someone else?” he continues theorizing, growing more and more exasperated, and he lets out a breathless and humorless chuckle. “Because you’re talking like you’ve missed me, or like I actually mattered, and that’s fucking me up completely. You didn’t just— Something must’ve happened. Did you stop loving me, or was I just not enough?” the words make Taehyung’s heart stop for a brief moment.

He feels tears welling up in his eyes immediately.

Before everything fell apart, they had never actually used that word to describe whatever existed between them. Jungkook naming an emotion left unspoken for two years makes him feel sick to his stomach, and he wants to perish.

“That’s not it, Kook…” he looks down at his hands.

“Then why? Why did you suddenly cut me off? Why did you disappear from my life for two fucking years without any fucking explanation as to why?!” Jungkook presses, insists, as his voice grows louder with emotion.

“Because I was scared.” Taehyung whispers.

Jungkook freezes. “Of… Of me?”

“No!” Taehyung stands up right away, almost reaches up to hold Jungkook’s face when he sees the tears in his eyes; he stops himself in time. “Not you. No, fuck, no.”

“Then tell me, goddamn it. Why did you never give me a reason?”

“You wouldn’t have understood then, and you wouldn’t now, so—”

“You never fucking gave me the chance!” Jungkook actually screams at him this time around, and he hates how that makes Taehyung flinch. “You can’t know what I will or won’t understand, so why didn’t you give me the chance to hear the truth?”

Taehyung stares at him for a moment, his mouth opening, but he doesn’t manage to produce a single sound, so he closes it again. Because Jungkook is right. Taehyung didn’t know whether he’d understand it or not, but he did what he thought was best for both of them… and he’s not about to have that conversation right now.

So, “I don’t want to talk about this.” is what he says.

“You’re kidding.” Jungkook chuckles, bitter. “Fucking hell.” he throws his hands in the air, turning around so that he doesn’t have to face the elder anymore.

Taehyung sits back down, holding his knees against his chest.

Jungkook just walks away to the other side of the rooftop. He needs to breathe.

Neither addresses how they’re both crying just meters away from each other.

2 YEARS, 1 MONTH PRIOR

Taehyung looks up from his notes when he hears his door unlocking. He’s been studying by himself for a little over two hours, completely tuned out of anything else. He watches as Jungkook walks in with the key that he’s kept for months now.

“Hey.” Taehyung greets with a little chuckle at how tired the other looks.

“Hey, Tae.” Jungkook kicks his shows and drops his belongings by the door before walking across the room to get to him. He leans down to plant a kiss on Taehyung’s cheek, but settles for the top of his head when the latter doesn’t move to make that possible.

“How was practice?” Taehyung questions, his studies long forgotten.

How can he focus when Jungkook’s wearing a white tank top and now plopped down on what would’ve been his roommate’s bed, had his roommate not dropped out?

That image is far more inviting than mathematics.

“It was ok. We didn’t do much today, Yug had a fight with coach, so he just lectured us most of the time.” Jungkook complains. “I just wanted to chill for a little. I woke up in a bad mood today, I don’t feel like going to my room to study…”

“Would you like to watch a movie?” Taehyung suggests.

That does make Jungkook perk up. “That sounds great, actually.”

Taehyung smiles. “I’ll make popcorn, you set up the television.” he instructs, already closing his books. Jungkook moves over to the couch to set up Taehyung’s laptop that they connect to the television, while the elder microwaves a popcorn bag.

“We’re watching The Avengers again, ok?” Jungkook informs.

“Which one? Don’t make me watch Endgame on a random afternoon. I don’t want to cry today.” Taehyung squints at him, waiting by the microwave with a hand on his hip.

“I don’t want to bawl my eyes out today, either, watching Iron Man die. We’re watching Age of Ultron.” he pauses the movie on the first frame, getting more comfortable on the couch, with one pillow on his lap. “Are those salted or sweet?”

“Sweet.” the elder says as he opens the bag, and Jungkook can only laugh at his struggle to dump the popcorn into the bowl without burning all ten fingers. “Here, let them cool down a little…” Taehyung places the bowl on the couch, rather than handing it over and risk having their fingers accidentally touch.

Jungkook promptly ignores the warning and picks one popcorn right away, huffing and puffing as it burns the insides of his mouth while he chews on it.

“I literally just told you to wait!” Taehyung stares, incredulous.

“I’m not following your popcorn rules.” Jungkook states as he begins munching on another one, with the exact same struggle that shouldn’t be as entertaining.

“You’re an idiot.” the elder laughs, affectionately.

Jungkook watches as he walks back to his bed, only to pick up a pair of gloves from the bedside table. Taehyung puts them on carefully with an expression that shows a mixture of emotions. “You’re still wearing those?” he asks, more so to make conversation.

Taehyung has been wearing gloves for a month now, so he’s not surprised anymore.

“Yeah…”

“Are your hands not getting better?” Jungkook questions; all that he knows is that the elder has been diagnosed with a skin condition that requires him wearing gloves to keep them from getting irritated. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have many details.

And Taehyung only shakes his head. “Not really.” his voice comes out dejected.

Jungkook hates seeing him like this. “On the bright side… If you decide to commit a crime, you won’t be caught that easily, you won’t leave your fingerprints.” he tries to joke, to lighten the mood, and smiles when Taehyung’s lips curve up a little at that.

“That is true.” Taehyung nods, walking towards the couch where he sits down with a distance that he deems safe. He knows that the dates only appear if his bare hands touch someone’s skin, but that ability appeared uninvited and unannounced; what if it evolves? He doesn’t want to risk finding that out in the worst way.

Jungkook notices how he sits with a careful distance. They’ve always been so all over each other that it’s impossible not to notice. Taehyung’s side isn’t touching his, and normally his legs would already be thrown over Jungkook’s lap.

He decides to ignore it for his own sake. “Can I press play?”

“Yep.” Taehyung nods as he takes one popcorn from the bucket.

Jungkook fiddles with his lip ring as the movie begins with the heroes fighting together as a team, but he can’t pay much attention to it. He can’t ignore the space between them even if he wants to, because he’s grown too aware of how it’s been there for a month now. He always tries to ignore it, blame it on his own paranoia, but it’s getting harder and harder to do so.

Without letting himself overthink his next move, he places his arm over the couch as a silent invitation that Taehyung would never deny. His hand gently begins leading the elder’s head towards his own shoulder, and he himself flinches when Taehyung does.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, puzzled.

“My neck— My neck hurts a bit today. I slept wrong.” Taehyung explains with an awkward chuckle, sitting up straighter. “I need to keep it forward like this.”

“I’ll give you a massage, th—”

“No!” he cuts him off, and he doesn’t miss the way that Jungkook’s shoulders sag and his eyes widen just a little. “I mean, no, thank you. Just touching it hurts, so I’ll just leave it alone for today. I don’t want to make it worse, you know. I’ll— I’ll take the massage tomorrow, if it’s still… hurting.” he tries to mend his words, gulps.

“Uhm, alright. You should take something for the pain, then.” Jungkook’s voice sounds quieter now, and the hint of hurt in it makes Taehyung feel like the absolute worst person in the world. He loves Jungkook’s massages, especially after practice.

“Yeah, I will.” Taehyung gives him a tight smile, before facing the front again. It takes the younger a few seconds longer before he can face the television, still puzzled by the interaction. “I really like how they introduce Wanda in this movie.” he rushes to think of something to say, a new conversation starter, so picking one of Jungkook’s favorite characters sounds like the safest way to go.

“I agree. They totally misused Pietro, though. They should’ve kept him for longer, for a few more movies.” it does the trick, as expected. Jungkook’s looking at the movie again, pointing towards the screen. “Like, I know what happens in all the movies and shows after this, sure, and we don’t miss his character, but— I feel like he’d be cool.”

“Meh.” the elder shrugs. “He’d probably hold Wanda back a bit.”

“Maybe.” Jungkook nods at the theory, taking another popcorn to his mouth. “Hm, where are these popcorn from? The market that we always go?” Taehyung looks at him with his mouthful, and nods. “They’re good. Try one with the sugar clumps, they’re really fucking good.” the younger suggests, holding one popcorn in his hand as an offer.

Taehyung’s body has a millisecond of reaction to push him towards it, to just eat the popcorn from Jungkook’s hand, but he stops. Instead, he searches for one in the bowl.

“You’re right, they’re better than the plain ones.” Taehyung nods. Jungkook’s hand slowly lowers until he just leaves the popcorn in the bowl again, no longer feeling like eating any. They never had a problem sharing food. Be it with the same chopsticks, or just feeding each other by hand, so the silent rejection makes his stomach twist.

He can’t stomach any more popcorn.

Taehyung feels his eyes sting with warm tears at the sight; he can see the change in the other’s demeanor, and the way that his own actions are affecting him. “T-This part is really cool.” he calls back, pointing towards the television.

Jungkook has to look at it to know what’s happening. “It is.” is all that he says.

The elder scrambles to think of something else to mention. Luckily for him, the scene playing helps him come up with an easy topic. “I still maintain that it doesn’t make any fucking sense that Captain America can pick up the hammer.”

“It does, though. He’s selfless and his moral integrity is—”

“The multiverse is literally collapsing because he wanted to be with a girl that he kissed once. It doesn’t make sense. He’s annoying, on top of that.” Taehyung argues.

“You always give me shit for being a Marvel nerd, but you know everything in detail, you’re such a fucking hypocrite.” Jungkook accuses with a laugh. “I don’t think that he should be able to pick up the hammer, but the climax was cool the first time, I guess.”

“I had never seen a single movie before I met you. It’s your fault.” he defends himself right away; they spent months going through the entire timeline of movies and shows, because Jungkook refused to be friends with someone who isn’t aware of how cool the whole Marvel universe is. Or so he said.

“If anything, you should thank me.” Jungkook shrugs.

“So, when are you watching Star Wars?” Taehyung looks at him with a smile.

“When they make a movie that isn’t targeted for absolute nerds.” he says with such sincerity that it punches a laugh out of Taehyung. The sound is like music to Jungkook’s ears, and it makes an easy smile take over his own lips at the sight.

As Taehyung’s head lowers again, a little strand of hair falls in front of his eyes.

Jungkook raises a hand to fix it, because he always does, but Taehyung physically recoils away from his fingers before he can actually touch the brown strands. Jungkook flinches at the sudden movement. “Oh. Sorry.” he takes his hand back.

“No, no, it’s— it’s fine. Sorry, I just got startled.” Taehyung lies through his teeth, fixing the hair himself lest Jungkook try again to put it in place. Jungkook furrows his brows in deep confusion, looking between them. The space, Taehyung leaning away from him the moment that his arms lift either to hug him or touch him.

He discreetly lowers his head to sniff himself. Does he smell bad today?

That would kind of explain it.

“I must admit… I didn’t shower after practice today.” Jungkook says, keeping his arms on his sides. “We didn’t do much, and I wanted to come here faster…” he adds.

Taehyung looks at him. “Really? You smell good, though. I can smell your perfume.”

Jungkook blinks. “Ah.” so, not the reason. “Thank you.”

They remain silent for a few minutes, just watching the television and, thankfully, they both manage to actually get immersed in the movie and ignore the clear tension between them. So much so, that Jungkook’s started munching on the popcorn again.

“Honestly, I could never be a hero.” Jungkook starts. “You see a fucking robot that has been alive for, what, twelve minutes threatening your life after discovering philosophy at three in the morning… And you don’t think that it’s time to just retire?”

“Ultron isn’t that scary in itself… If he couldn’t spread through the internet and get his hands on whatever he wants, then he’d be really easy to kill.” Taehyung points out.

“Yeah, but— Like, what the fuck do you even do? I’d go home.”

Taehyung laughs. “They have a guy with a bow and arrow fighting, you’d be fine.”

“Genuinely, I couldn’t do any of that.” Jungkook still maintains. “The second that he’s quoting the Bible at me, I’m packing up and leaving for them to take care of it.” he says with a shrug, which only makes the elder laugh again.

He catches how Taehyung’s hand moves to slap his thigh between his laughter, but he can see the exact moment that he holds himself back from doing so. His own smile disappears instantly, looking at said gloved hand. Why did Taehyung stop himself?

Jungkook sighs. He’s had enough. “Can I ask you something?” he begins.

“Of course, Kook. What’s up?” Taehyung nods, reaching for the bucket.

“Why don’t you touch me?” he can see Taehyung’s hand freezing in place, and his entire body stiffening at the words said. “Hold on, that sounded fucking weird. I didn’t mean it like that.” Jungkook clarifies with a humorless chuckle. “You know what I mean.”

“But I do. I always touch you.” Taehyung tries to lie, avoiding eye contact.

“Bullshit, Tae. You haven’t touched me in weeks…” Jungkook sits up straighter to properly face him. “When I reach to hold your hand, you pull back. We haven’t hugged in weeks, or cuddled in weeks. When I try to caress you in any way, you lean away from me instantly. Just— Just the way that we’re sitting right now. I’ve never been able to see the couch between us before, and I can see a whole patch of it now. I tried to cuddle, you denied. I offered a massage, you denied. I tried to fix your hair, you leaned away. This has been going on for a fucking month now, and I— I’m confused. What’s going on…?”

Taehyung stares at him with his mouth agape.

He can’t answer that, and it breaks his heart to hear that Jungkook has noticed every little difference in his behavior. Has it been bothering him since it started?

Jungkook chuckles. “Nothing?”

And Taehyung feels himself shift into defensiveness. “Why are you making this a thing when it doesn’t have to be one? I’m not doing anything different.” again, he lies.

“I’m making it a thing because you’ve been acting like I’m contagious.”

Taehyung feels his heart sink in his chest. “Don’t say that. I haven’t.” he whispers.

“Do you still want me around?” Jungkook asks directly, his eyebrows furrowed.

“What? Of course, I do.” Taehyung says, exasperated.

“Well, then fucking act like it.” the younger stresses. “You always say that we’re fine when I ask, but then you act like you’re always counting down the seconds until I leave your side. And it’s hurting me. So, stop doing that, or tell me to leave and give me a proper explanation for it.” now that the cat’s out of the bag, he can’t stop.

“I don’t want you to leave. I don’t want you to go anywhere.” Taehyung’s voice breaks, and Jungkook takes a moment to look at him. He can see tears collecting in the corner of his eyes, and the way that he’s nervously chewing on his bottom lip.

“I don’t understand what’s going on, Tae.” Jungkook admits, tired.

“Can we please not do this today?”

“When will we, then? When I break?” Taehyung closes his eyes, turns his head away from him; Jungkook has to battle himself not to make their eyes meet again. “I just want to know what’s going on. Do you not like me anymore? Is that it?”

Taehyung feels a lump form in his throat. He can’t answer that. If he says that he does, it’ll invite the closeness that he’s avoiding… but if he says that he doesn’t, he’ll be lying with every fiber of his being. He’s never liked anyone as much.

Jungkook takes the silence as an answer. “Right.”

“Kook, I—”

“It’s fine.” he cuts him off, and Taehyung looks up at him when he gets up from the couch, fast on his feet to reach the door. Taehyung feels himself panic at the sight.

“Kook, please, where are you going?”

“I’m going to my room. I need to study, and shower.” Jungkook still answers despite everything, as he slips his feet into his shoes. Taehyung not liking him anymore wasn’t something that he was prepared to find out on a random afternoon during a movie. “I was already having a bad day, and this is only making me feel worse.”

“Stay. Please. Stay.” and it’s the tone of Taehyung’s voice, bordering on begging, that makes him stop in his tracks before he can get his jacket on.

Jungkook gulps. “Why would I?”

Taehyung looks for words, his mind blanking. “Just… stay here. Sit down. Let’s finish the movie, please. Sit back down.” he insists, patting the couch a couple of times.

Jungkook hates himself for how weak he is. He rubs his eyes, kicks his shoes back off, and walks towards the couch once again. This time, however, he sits as far away as physically possible. Taehyung hates it — just not as much as he hates seeing the tears forming in the younger’s eyes. He never expected to be the reason behind those.

He faces the front again, hugging a pillow.

They both ignore how they can hear each other sniffing.

It’s better like that.

05:30 PM, PRESENT

Taehyung eyes his phone to check the time, sighing to himself. They’ve been at the rooftop for a while now, but Jungkook’s still pacing around far away from him, and he hates how he wants to reach out but can’t. He doesn’t know how to. Jungkook’s angry, and rightfully so, so he can’t find his voice to call after the man.

He keeps watching him like a hawk, ready to intervene if Jungkook walks any closer to the edge, because he’s not about to risk a fall from that height.

Jungkook turns to him, catches him looking. Then, he walks closer. “Can we get out of here already? I don’t feel like being here anymore.” he requests, gesturing to the door.

Taehyung nods; it’s hard to pretend that it doesn’t hurt. It was always hard for them to leave the rooftop once they got comfortable, so to see it as a place where one of them doesn’t feel like staying… hurts.

“Yeah.” is all that he says as he stands up, and dusts his pants. He follows Jungkook to the door, thanks him in a little whisper as the door is held open for him. He remembers how back then, as soon as the door closed, they’d take it as a sign to start racing each other down the flights of stairs. That’s how Taehyung twisted his ankle once, after jumping five stairs at once and landing as poorly as one could. Jungkook laughed so hard that he cried — then realized that he was seriously injured, and panicked.

Taehyung remembers how he got carried all the way to the infirmary.

This time around, Taehyung goes down without any urgency, while Jungkook skips a few steps to get done with it faster. Taehyung doesn’t like that. He might fall, he might hurt himself, and he’d never forgive himself for letting it happen so carelessly.

“Slow down.” he calls after the younger, rushing to get to his side.

Jungkook eyes him, taking it as an attempt to end the awkward distance. “Can you stop following me that closely?” he still mumbles; it’s doing a number on his heart.

“I’m not.” Taehyung argues in a split second.

“You’ve been saying that all day. Yet, your shadow is blending in with mine.”

“I’m walking with a perfectly normal distance.” he defends nonetheless, and the footballer only rolls his eyes at it without saying anything else. Taehyung holds the door open for him this time around, and they walk through campus in complete silence, but side by side as he’s requested multiple times already.

Once they get to the entrance, however, they don’t know where to go.

Jungkook clears his throat. “So, what now? Where are we going?”

“Uhm… What time is it?” Taehyung asks, pointing to the watch on his wrist.

“It’s almost six.” he informs; the elder sighs. Six hours to go. They can do it.

“Let’s…” Taehyung looks around, thinking. He doesn’t know what they can do for six more hours, and he has no clue of how to pass the time at six in the afternoon without taking Jungkook to his dorm and exposing all the pictures still on his wall. “…walk.”

“Fuck, no.” Jungkook physically steps away from him.

“C’mon.” Taehyung laughs. “Just until we figure out where to go.”

Jungkook looks at him. “Are you seriously planning on dragging me around until midnight?” he asks, just to check, because it still sounds incredulous to his ears.

Taehyung freezes for a second. “You agreed to spend the day with me.”

“Under false pretenses.” Jungkook shoots back.

“You could leave.” Taehyung says before he can stop it. He’s lived two years forcing himself to be defensive with anything regarding Jungkook, despite his own wishes, so it’s hard to react in any other way when he feels cornered.

“Do you want me to…?”

“No.” the answer comes immediately.

“Then stop telling me that I can.” Jungkook says with a scowl. “But, fine, let’s fucking walk for a little longer as you think of where to drag me next. I’m going to be sore tomorrow from all this fucking walking.” tomorrow. The word makes Taehyung anxious in a way that he’s never known before in his life. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.

They walk together once again, stopping by the crosswalk where they wait until it turns green. Taehyung’s eyes watch frantically both sides of the road even after the light changes for the pedestrians to cross, and he’s incredibly thankful for that.

A reckless driver speeds up faster to avoid stopping at the red, and it’s heading straight at them at a high speed. Jungkook’s on the side where he’d be the one hit.

“Watch out!” Taehyung screams in pure horror, reaching for him with both of his arms: one arm wraps completely around Jungkook’s waist while his other hand catches the back of his hoodie. He pulls him back so hard that they both stumble backwards.

The car honks as though it was their fault, before speeding away.

Jungkook barely manages to process what just happened.

Taehyung’s heart stops momentarily. His hands start patting Jungkook everywhere, as if to check whether there’s anything out of place, and he’s frantic about it. “Are you hurt?” he asks, gloved hand gripping his arm once again to pull him closer in order to inspect his face. “Did it hit you— Where did it hit you?” he presses.

“Tae, it didn’t touch me.” Jungkook assures, not blind to how panicked he looks.

“A-Are you sure? What about your legs? Your arm? Maybe—”

Jungkook reaches for Taehyung’s gloved wrist, the one gesturing around, and holds it to ground him. “Taehyung. I’m fine. It didn’t even touch me.” he speaks, slowly.

Taehyung just looks at him with his mouth open and eyes wide, his heart beating so fast that his ears ring with the rushing blood. For a second, he thought that their day was going to end there. For a second, he saw Jungkook lying on the floor after impact.

His hands shake, his eyes well up with tears. He thought that Jungkook was going to be taken away from him right then and there, without giving him a chance to stop it.

That makes the hand on Jungkook’s bicep tighten around it.

And Jungkook notices. Not only the desperate grip on his arm, but also how absolutely terrified Taehyung looks right now. “You’re still touching me.” he calls out, acutely aware of it. It’s been so long since he last felt Taehyung’s hands on him. There are two layers of clothing between them, but still.

Taehyung looks down at his own hand, his grip slowly loosening.

“You saved me. Thank you. I almost fucking died there.” Jungkook jokes.

“Don’t say it like that.” Taehyung reprimands, a tear escaping his eye. He rushes to wipe it away without letting it become a topic, and Jungkook doesn’t even know what to say. He doesn’t want to see Taehyung cry. “I couldn’t possibly let you get hurt.”

The sentence alone makes memories flood his brain. “You used to say that.”

“What?” Taehyung’s mind is a little too slow to catch up now.

“That you’d always protect me, and would never let me get hurt.”

“Actually… We said it to each other.” he recalls, and that’s exactly the promise that he’s been trying to keep for the last few hours. He regrets not exploring his ability further, because he has no clue whether he’ll be able to save Jungkook until the end, but there’s no way in the world that he won’t try until the last second.

“Funny, isn’t it?” Jungkook chuckles. “You promised me that, then you disappeared.” he adds, and Taehyung feels that like a punch to the gut that leaves him unable to answer because, in the end, it’s the truth. “Those don’t go together.”

“They go more than you think.” Taehyung manages to mumble. “To me, at least.”

Jungkook only eyes him. What does that even mean?

“Sit down.” Taehyung orders not even five seconds later, gesturing frantically towards the nearest bench. Jungkook sits down. “Check whether anything hurts.”

“The car didn’t even graze the air around me.” Jungkook tries.

“Adrenaline can hide pain. Seriously, check everything.” he demands.

“Since when are you a doctor?”

“Since five minutes ago. Can you stop fighting everything and check whether—”

“Taehyung, I swear to fucking God, I’m fine. The car didn’t touch me, and I’m not physically hurt anywhere right now. I promise, ok? I’m not lying.” Jungkook speaks a little more seriously now, trying to help Taehyung out of his shaken state. Taehyung rubs his teary eyes as he sits next to him. “You care a lot for someone that you couldn’t stand being around.” he finds himself mumbling, hands in his pockets.

“I never said that I couldn’t stand you.” Taehyung looks at him, eyes red.

“You didn’t need to.” Jungkook meets his eyes, which makes the elder immediately look away to face the road instead of him, in a futile attempt to hide how close to crying he is. “Do you regret leaving?” he asks in a careful voice, finally putting into words the question that got stuck in his throat back in the rooftop.

Seeing Taehyung cry at the mere prospect of a little accident, makes him wonder.

Taehyung doesn’t even have to think. “Yes.”

Jungkook nods, facing the front. “Why did you, then?” he waits, patiently, for an answer to come. He doesn’t rush Taehyung, or pressure him by repeating it, but when half a minute in absolute silence passes, he realizes that he’s not going to get any sort of explanation. It makes him sigh. “Always the same, avoiding the truth. You answer every question except the one that actually matters.” he says as he stands up.

Taehyung looks at him. “Where are you going—?”

“I’m hungry. Let’s go. It’s time for dinner.”

“It’s too early.” Taehyung fights the idea. It’s not even six yet, and the faster they go through the day, the harder it will be to find things to do until midnight. Dinner will have to wait a little longer. “No one has dinner at six.”

“You’ve made me walk across half of Seoul, I’ve earned food.” Jungkook argues.

And Taehyung quietly laughs, because Jungkook’s dramatics will never fail to entertain him even in serious moments. “We didn’t even leave campus, you dramatic idiot. Sit down, let’s… sit here for a little longer, ok? It’s too early.”

Jungkook stares at him. “You’re being so fucking weird today.”

“Well, you’re alive.” Taehyung responds in a heartbeat, and that only makes the other even more confused with the whole ordeal. “I mean… obviously. I’m just still thinking about the car.” he tries to cover it up, his cheeks growing pink.

“Right. Weirdo.” Jungkook mumbles as he sits down, hands in his pockets.

Neither says a word following that, set on watching the cars passing by and the people walking around. The air feels tense once again. Falling into jokes is easy, but letting the past take over is even easier, and the tension catches up to them just as fast as the laughs do. The worst part, is that Taehyung knows how Jungkook is right about everything. He’s right for being hurt, angry, all of it.

So, “I’m sorry.” he says after a minute or so.

“For what?” Jungkook tests. What exactly is Taehyung sorry for? What part?

Taehyung’s courage slips away. “Today.”

And Jungkook wants to laugh because, of course, Taehyung picked the manageable and easiest apology. Instead of finally addressing what happened, or taking accountability for it, he chooses to apologize for the last few hours.

“Right.” Jungkook stretches his legs in front of him, getting more comfortable. “Pay for dinner, and you’re forgiven. For today. Whatever the fuck weirdness today is about.”

Taehyung closes his eyes. “Okay.”

2 YEARS, 3 WEEKS PRIOR

Jungkook breathes in and out to collect himself before following his team as they run to the field for another football match. His eyes immediately search through the crowd, trying to find that all-too-familiar face, though he doesn’t have much hope for it.

Earlier that day he asked Taehyung if he was going to attend, and the latter answered with a distant tone, a little detached from the question itself, and only uttered a quiet ‘maybe’ that hasn’t left his mind ever since. It probably meant ‘no.’

His feet stop on their own accord when he spots Taehyung sitting on the front row.

Taehyung’s already looking, so their eyes meet. The elder smiles, waves at him with one hand and points at his own shirt with the other; he’s wearing one of Jungkook’s spare uniform shirts. Knowing that his own name is on Taehyung’s back makes his heart flutter with possessiveness and endearment. He waves back, smiling just as big.

He’s surprised to see Taehyung. Had it been months ago, it wouldn’t even be a question whether he’d attend or not… But, after the fight, they’ve both been trying to test the waters to see whether they can even be ok after such a deep argument.

To say that his mind quietens is an understatement. He was so out of the game mindset, still repeating the ‘maybe’ and worrying about what it had meant. Now, he’s finally relaxed enough to focus solely on the match. At least for now.

He scores a goal in the first twenty minutes, a goal that he dedicates to Taehyung by pointing at him before his team involves him in a group hug. He doubts that he’d manage such a thing if the elder missed the game on such horrid terms.

And Taehyung’s standing up, clapping and celebrating his goal with a grin.

At some point, he finds himself close to the bleachers with his back towards the crowd of students and his hands on his hips while his team argues something with the referee. The captain is there, so he doesn’t care to go fight with them.

His ears turn in interest as he hears Taehyung’s voice.

“What are they even arguing about?” Taehyung asks, presumably the person sitting next to him. It makes Jungkook laugh. One thing about Taehyung, is that he doesn’t understand football even after watching so many games for him.

“They’re discussing the offside.” the other student answers.

“What the fuck is that?”

“You literally play basketball, how do you not understand offside?” and Jungkook has to force himself not to turn back to see Taehyung’s expression after that, because he can just imagine how offended he must look.

“Because your sport’s stupid.” Taehyung argues.

“Your sport stops every twelve seconds, dude.”

“At least we use our hands instead of our feet, like evolution intended.” and, ok, that does make Jungkook laugh despite having to continue running to go back to his position as the game resumes with a yellow card to the other team. He’s tried explaining what an offside is so many times, so he doubts that Taehyung will understand the student’s explanation if he even offers one.

The match resumes for ten more minutes following that before the referee blows the whistle that settles the fifteen-minutes break. Jungkook uses the end of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face, jogging towards the bleachers.

Taehyung has a little shy smile on his lips, something that he’s not used to seeing and would find insane cute if the reason behind it wasn’t the awkwardness that has surrounded them for the past week. “Hey.” Jungkook greets either way. Maybe playing stupid is the way to move past what happened. “You came.”

“Of course. I had to come see you score.” Taehyung offers his bottle of water.

“Thanks…” Jungkook takes it right away, noticing how Taehyung pulls his hand back quickly so that their fingers merely brush on the bottle. He tries, again, to ignore it. “Are you enjoying the game?” he asks after taking a few sips.

“I don’t understand shit, but you look cool.” the elder admits.

“I’ve explained every fucking rule to you, how do you not understand?”

“Because I can barely keep track of who the fuck has the ball.” Taehyung frowns.

“Maybe you just need to change your prescription.” Jungkook points at his glasses.

“Or maybe you should quit and join my team instead… You’ll just have to grow a bit more.” Taehyung says with a mischievous smile; Jungkook scoffs, offended.

“You have less than five centimeters over me. Chill out, bean-sprout.” he throws with a serious expression that makes Taehyung lose it, throwing his head back with laughter. “Laugh while you can.” he threatens, though empty, as he squeezes the water bottle just enough to spray a bit of water on him.

“You’re funny to antagonize, I’m sorry.” Taehyung gives in. “If you score another one, I’ll pay for dinner today.” he offers, and Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “Pizza.”

“I’m sold. I’ll score another one just for that.” Jungkook blows him a kiss with a wink before he jumps down from where he was standing, back on the grass. He jogs towards his teammates with a smile and his shoulders feeling much lighter.

Once the game resumes, Taehyung’s focused on it to try and understand what’s going on, at least to some extent, but even so — he keeps asking about the rules to everyone near him. And he’s not so proud to admit that he insults all the players that either push or stumble against Jungkook on purpose.

The opposite team keeps going after him, and it’s irritating Taehyung to the core.

Taehyung gasps, beyond horrified, when he sees Jungkook almost flip in the air after colliding straight-on against another player. He sees the young man’s head hitting and bouncing off of the grass, and the stranger’s foot hits his face while on the floor.

Everyone in the crowd makes different sounds of sympathy, everyone feeling the second-hand pain of being hit with someone’s cleats; on the face, to make it even worse.

When Taehyung sees Jungkook’s coach run with the athletic trainer, he jumps down the bleachers before he can overthink it. Jungkook’s still lying down on the floor, and he’s not moving, and Taehyung’s panicking. He can already see blood on Jungkook’s face, his heart is beating wildly in his chest.

He’s never seen Jungkook’s date, so what if it’s today? Why isn’t he sitting up?

He removes his gloves immediately, because he can’t possibly not get an answer.

Why is Jungkook still on the floor?

Is this what it will be like? Wondering if every fall is the end, because he refuses to know the date? Because, goddamn, what if it’s today?!

And why is Jungkook still lying down?”

“Hey, you can’t be on the field.”

“Move!” Taehyung demands as he pushes past Jungkook’s teammates. He kneels beside Jungkook just in time to see him sit up with his coach’s help. His shoulders sag with relief. The team’s nurse is already inspecting Jungkook’s eyebrow, and Taehyung itches to reach and hold his face between his hands to inspect it himself, but his gloves are shoved in his pocket, and he just… can’t. Jungkook’s conscious.

When Jungkook wasn’t moving, knowing felt necessary. Now that he’s looking at him again, knowing is back to feeling unbearably terrifying and out of the question.

He can’t bring himself to do it. To touch.

Jungkook’s looking at him now, blood dripping down his face, and he notices the hovering hand just centimeters away from his cheek. “Tae?” he calls, to wake him from his trance. His coach is talking, but neither register the words.

Taehyung recoils, puts his hands down and simply stares with tears in his eyes.

His heart is still hammering, he hasn’t managed to stop the panic.

God, why did it take Jungkook so long to sit up?!

“Are you dizzy?” Taehyung asks.

“A little.” Jungkook nods.

“Can you see properly?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you know where you are? How many fingers am I holding up?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I’m not concussed, Doctor Kim.” he jokes, but the elder doesn’t laugh, and that scares him more than whatever injury he’s just sustained. “You look more hurt than I am.” again, he tries to make light of the situation. “I’m totally fine.”

“Shut up. You’re bleeding, Jungkook.” Taehyung points a shaky finger as the nurse puts a piece of gauze against his eyebrow to contain the blood.

“Barely.” Jungkook still shrugs, careless. He’s gotten hurt while playing multiple times, and it’s not the first time that he ends up bleeding after being hit by someone’s shoe. It hurts, but he acts as though it doesn’t so that he doesn’t worry Taehyung further.

Taehyung opens his mouth to speak, to argue, but stops as he watches the nurse reach for Jungkook’s face to turn it towards himself. He watches as he gets his pupils checked, the blood wiped away a little carelessly so that they can get up and let the game resume — the play has stopped to access the situation, and they must continue.

He watches as someone else cares for Jungkook the way that he should be able to.

He wants to be the one gently holding his face, caressing his cheek to let him know that it’ll be ok and that the cut isn’t so deep. He hates how there’s someone else doing it, and that the person isn’t even being as careful as he himself would be.

Taehyung only shakes his head to focus back on the conversation when he understands that they’re discussing whether Jungkook will continue the game or not. The player is insisting that he’s ok, while everyone else is telling him to sit it out.

“You’re not going back in.” Taehyung just about informs, and they all stop arguing.

Jungkook looks at him. “Since when are you my coach?”

“Since you’re fucking stupid. You were on the ground.” he frowns.

“For ten seconds, Tae. It’s not a long time.” Jungkook tries with a chuckle.

“It fucking was to me.” the sheer pain and horror in his voice makes Jungkook’s smile disappear, giving way to a much more serious expression; he looks at him as if trying to understand why Taehyung is so worried when he’s clearly ok, and he hates the tears that he can still see in the elder’s eyes. “I’ll take him to the infirmary.” Taehyung looks up at the coach. “I’ll personally make sure that he goes.”

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to… I’ll go by myself, it’s ok.”

“Are you insane? I’m going with you.”

“Fine.” Jungkook offers his hands for Taehyung to help him up, and Taehyung’s eyes widen a little, his whole body freezes; he’s still not wearing the gloves. To his luck, the coach picks Jungkook up by hooking his hands under the player’s arms until he’s on his feet. Jungkook doesn’t mask the hurt because, there it is. Rejection. “Let’s go, then…”

The game resumes behind them, and Taehyung quietly puts on his gloves again.

Jungkook walks beside him, equally quiet.

Until he groans. “He’s probably going to bench me tomorrow. Fucking hell.”

“And he should!” Taehyung looks at him with a scowl. “You hit your head, I saw it.”

“Yeah, but I’m fine. I can play. They’re going to lose without me, I can sense it.”

“Jungkook, you literally have a cut on your eyebrow right now.” Taehyung stresses, gesturing towards it with his hand. “Fuck the game, and fuck them if they lose. And most definitely, fuck the guy who stepped on your face. Oh, I’m pissed off.” had it not been for the panic of seeing Jungkook on the floor motionless, he doesn’t doubt that he could’ve ended up hitting the other one.

“Do you think that the scar will make me hotter?” Jungkook side-eyes him.

“You—” Taehyung pauses. “Probably.” Jungkook laughs, only to immediately groan at the pain that he feels on his face from moving it. “Stop, come on, we’re here.” the elder motions towards the door that, thankfully, is close to the sports wing.

There’s no one in the infirmary when they walk in.

“Amazing.” Jungkook comments. “Can we leave already?”

“You can shut up and sit down. She must’ve gone to the bathroom.” Taehyung tsks, looking around. He’s been there a handful of times himself from getting hurt during his own games, so he knows where things are. He’s not about to let Jungkook sit there with blood still running down his cheek as they wait for the university’s nurse to come back.

Jungkook blinks when Taehyung simply opens one of the cabinets. “Oh, so you want us to get kicked out.” he chuckles, incredulous. “You can’t just pick that up, you criminal.”

“You’re bleeding. I can handle her anger if it comes.” Taehyung mumbles, walking towards him with wound disinfectant and gauze. He probably won’t get in trouble, because he’s pretty friendly with the nurse but, even if he does, he doesn’t care.

Not when Jungkook’s hurt. Nothing matters more at the moment.

“Look up.” Taehyung instructs as he applies some of the disinfectant on the gauze.

“Do I look cool? Like, all bloody and shit.” Jungkook asks, looking up.

“You look stupid.” Taehyung mumbles, though he doesn’t mean it. Jungkook rolls his eyes as he parts his legs to accommodate the elder to stand between them. Had this been a month prior, his hands would now be resting on the back of Taehyung’s knees.

This time around, however, he just keeps them on his own thighs.

Taehyung keeps gently dabbing at the wound with one hand, and his free hand hovers over Jungkook’s face. He wants to hold it, not only because it’ll make the angle easier, but also because he wishes that he could be gently easing the pain, thumbing at the skin with affection and reassurance.

Instead, he’s only able to help him with the wound because there are layers of glove and gauze between them. God, he hates it. He hates the distance so much.

Jungkook keeps his eyes on him, but he can see the hovering hand from his peripheral vision. Just as it was back in the field, hovering but not touching. “You can touch me, you know.” he whispers ever so quietly, afraid that he might accidentally start another fight about their lack of touching.

“I know…” Taehyung whispers back, letting the hand touch Jungkook’s jaw to hold it in place. It’s barely there, only enough to pretend that they’re actually touching.

“I hate these things.” Jungkook admits.

“What things?”

“These.” the footballer clarifies, touching the glove on Taehyung’s hand; it’s enough to make the hand disappear altogether from his jaw. “They’re always between us now.”

Taehyung gulps. “I-I have to wear them…”

Jungkook nods. “Yeah. I know.”

Silence settles between them once again, and Taehyung focuses on his task to clean the blood from his face entirely as gently as he possibly can. Jungkook watches him quietly, and he doesn’t miss how Taehyung’s eyes fill up with tears again every now and then. He wonders what the elder is thinking about.

“Why are you looking at me like I’m going to die any second?” he asks.

“Don’t fucking joke about that.” Taehyung snaps.

Jungkook physically flinches. “Jesus. Okay. Sorry.”

“I mean— I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to talk to you like that.” Taehyung immediately corrects as he pulls back to walk away from him so that he can discard the gauzes. His back is now towards Jungkook, and it enables him to hide the tear that escapes his eye at the mere mention of the younger dying. He wipes it away.

The footballer takes a moment, before sighing.

“You’ve been looking at me like that.”

Taehyung gulps. “Like what?”

“Like something’s about to happen.” Jungkook shrugs, watching as Taehyung opens the little freezer in the corner of the room to get him an ice pack after already having grabbed a band-aid. They’re definitely getting in trouble. “You pull away from me all the time, but the second that something bad happens… You look like you’re going to lose your fucking mind.” he adds, because he just can’t hold back anymore.

Taehyung can’t answer that.

He can’t imagine how confusing it must be from Jungkook’s perspective.

Instead, he walks back to him, and shows the band-aid. “Is blue ok?” he asks.

“It’s fine.” Jungkook nods. Taehyung carefully opens the packaging, and applies it to the younger’s eyebrow as gently as he physically can. “I don’t get you anymore.” he whispers, and it sounds like he’s finally accepting it himself, like he’s realizing it.

Taehyung feels his heart break.

Jungkook feels tears in his eyes.

The elder opens his mouth, but nothing comes, so he shifts his attention back to the bandage. “A-All done…” Taehyung says. “I’ll hold ice on it now…”

“You know that I’m not made of glass, right? I’m not about to shatter.” Jungkook chuckles humorlessly, but he can see how Taehyung’s hand is shaking when it lifts the ice pack, and it makes his shoulders relax. “Hey. I’m fine, Tae. I’m here. And if something happens, you don’t have to look like it’s your fault, so stop looking so fucking panicked.”

Taehyung sniffs, bottom lip wobbling. “I won’t let anything happen to you. I’ll keep you safe, Jungkook.” he says, raw honesty in his voice, meeting his eyes. “I promise.”

Jungkook pauses. “That only works if you let me do it back.”

Taehyung gulps.

“I promise to keep you safe, too.” he adds with a little smile that he sees mirrored immediately. “Thanks for staying, Tae. And for… helping.”

“Of course.”

“I wasn’t sure if you still would.” Jungkook whispers, looking directly into his eyes.

Taehyung can’t handle Jungkook’s level of honesty. “If you need me, I will.” is what he settles for because, even when the dread of accidentally touching Jungkook in a way that will reveal him an information that he’ll forever avoid, the need to keep him safe is bigger — he’ll always be there when he’s needed. No matter what.

“I need you all the time, Tae.”

“Then I’m here.” his voice wavers.

“Are you, though…?” Jungkook asks, and Taehyung shifts a little on his feet, fixes the placement of the ice to avoid that answer. “You look good with my shirt.”

Taehyung meets his eyes again; smiles. “It even has your name in the back.”

“I know.” Jungkook nods. “Feels like a statement.”

The elder hums. “Maybe it is.”

“Y—”

“Oh, what in the world is going on here? I left for ten minutes!”

07:00 PM, PRESENT

Taehyung glances down at his phone to check the time, and then to his side to where the footballer is still sitting with his legs stretched out and his hands in his pockets. It’s already been almost half an hour, and they’ve barely talked, but it wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable. “It’s already seven, so let’s get going. What do you want?”

Jungkook visibly perks up. “Food. At last.”

“Very helpful. Very specific.” Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Let’s get pizza.”

“You’re joking.” the younger frowns. “You owe me dinner, and you’re trying to buy me pizza…?” he checks, as if to make sure that Taehyung’s being serious.

“Pizza is dinner.” he argues.

“Broke ass. You’re financially abusing me.”

“Can you, like, be grateful?” Taehyung straightens up with a scoff. “Let’s go to that place that you liked. I haven’t been there since— Well, since we last visited. I remember that their pizza dough was really fucking good… and they added a lot of toppings.”

“That place closed about a year ago.” Jungkook informs.

Taehyung feels his shoulders sag. “Oh.” he says, dejected. It’s the first clear sign of the time that passed, the first that isn’t influenced by them, and it makes him feel a little weird. Time passed, things changed — and yet, they’re there, stuck in the same mindset.

Jungkook can tell how his demeanor has changed, so he just points towards the other side of the street. “That new place seems cool.” he begins; Taehyung follows his finger to a bright neon sign atop a new diner that opened. “I haven’t been there. We could go and try their pizza. Maybe it’s good.”

Taehyung faces him again with a little smile. Trying a new place together sounds good, and they won’t be surrounded by nostalgic memories.

“Yeah. We can go there.” he stands up from the bench. “And you’re fucking walking behind me this time while we cross the street, you careless idiot.” he speaks up.

Jungkook stands up, rolls his eyes. “It wasn’t even my fault. He ran the red.”

“Still.” Taehyung doesn’t relent as he leads the way to the crosswalk. He makes sure that the younger man stands behind him as they wait for the light to turn green for them, and frantically scans both sides of the road before he starts walking. “Stay close.”

“Stop treating me like a child.” Jungkook complains, but follows him closely.

“Stop behaving like one, then. Don’t even start.” Taehyung still scolds, feeling his heart settle a little once they make it safely to the other side. As the hours pass, he’s starting to feel the weight of the date weighing on him.

“You’re always abusing me. Stalking me in the morning, forcing me to not only spend the whole day missing class and assignments, but also to walk kilometer after kilometer… Now you offer me cheap pizza instead of well-deserved sushi, and treat me like a fucking child.” Jungkook lists off on his fingers, but he doesn’t sound annoyed.

Taehyung hums, switching places with him so that Jungkook’s the one walking away from the cars. “I’m also gracing you with my company.”

Jungkook takes a moment. “Strong pull, to be honest. That was a good point.” he immediately gives in, which makes them both laugh albeit quietly. There’s an unspoken something in the air, a lightness that wasn’t there before, and Taehyung strongly believes that was brought by the confession of regret.

Taehyung holds the door for him again, because nothing guarantees him that all the glass won’t shatter as Jungkook puts his hand on the handle. Jungkook simply takes it as a nice gesture. They pick a table towards the back of the diner, and sit facing each other. There are already menus on the table, so they just pick them up.

They take a moment to properly look around, observe the new place. The diner has an old-fashioned decoration, and the kitchen is open to the public, so they can see the pizzas being made. It smells delicious in there.

Everything is decorated in reds and whites, the music a little obnoxious, but not loud enough to actually disturb a conversation. It feels like a place that they’d visit frequently, and genuinely enjoy. It’s inviting, and welcoming.

“So.” Jungkook clears his throat, eyes shifting between the menu and Taehyung.

And Taehyung’s doing the same, so their eyes meet one too many times. “So.”

“This is kind of awkward.” the footballer voices their common thought. At the coffee shop earlier, they both knew the place, they knew the orders, and it felt like a familiar place to be. This diner, however, is new in every sense of the word. Besides that, they’re also experiencing something new together after so long — and it’s odd.

“You’re the least awkward person that I know. In fact, you’re borderline embarrassing, so don’t let it get awkward, ok?” Taehyung encourages with a little shrug.

Jungkook blinks. “I mean… Ouch?”

“Oh, I mean it in a good way.” Taehyung looks at him with a smile.

“How is it possible to be awkward in a good way?” Jungkook argues.

“Don’t read too much into it.” the elder dismisses.

“But—”

“Hi, good evening. My name is Jihoon, and I’ll be taking your order. Are you ready, or do you need another minute?” they both look to their side when a young man approaches their table, his uniform a bright shade of red and white. Truth is, they didn’t read a single thing from the menu, but they always get the same toppings, so it’s easy.

“I’ll just get a double pepperoni pizza, please.” Jungkook requests, hoping that they have it. Luckily, the waiter only writes it down with a polite nod. “Ham and cheese one for you, still?” Taehyung can only nod; of course, Jungkook remembers. “And a ham and cheese one with extra cheese, please.” he adds, handing over both menus.

“Alright… And to drink, what will you be having?”

“Coke.” they say in unison.

“Perfect. I’ll bring you your drinks in a minute, and the pizzas might take around half an hour, as we make them on the spot and we have a few orders waiting.” the waiter warns, and they both wave a dismissive hand.

“It’s ok, we’re not in a rush.” Taehyung’s the one to say. The waiter bows to them before politely turning his back and walking away. They’re again left alone, and the banter was so light and comfortable that Taehyung doesn’t want it to end, so he rushes to think of something else to talk about. “So… Do you still have that math professor that you hated to death?” is what he finds himself asking.

“Yeah. I don’t hate him that much anymore, though. He passed me totally out of pity last year, so now I like him a bit.” Jungkook admits; he’s never been good at mathematics, and used to use Taehyung as an unpaid and unofficial tutor.

“What about the classes? Did you get better at following his structure?”

“Yup, he’s gotten better at explaining shit. I think. Or I got smarter.”

“I doubt it.” Taehyung shrugs. Jungkook blinks. “Sorry.”

“You’re an asshole.” the footballer states.

Taehyung laughs at that, wholehearted. “Sorry, sorry. What about your grade—”

“Jesus, are you my fucking aunt? Why are you asking me so many academic questions? This sounds like an interview or some shit.” Jungkook interrupts before he can even finish the question, not fond of the line of questioning.

“I’m… trying.” Taehyung says, a little too honestly, and Jungkook takes a moment.

Then, he nods. “Fine. One question each, then.” Taehyung tilts his head in silent questioning. “You ask one, I answer. Then I get to ask one, and you answer. That will make me feel less like I’m being interrogated by you.”

“That’s fair… Alright. Worst professor since we stopped talking?”

“I had this bitch last year, philosophy, that would show up at nine in the fucking morning and surprise us with oral presentations. I wanted to drop out so hard, just so that I wouldn’t have to see her ever again.” Jungkook shares, and the frown that takes over his face is so intense that Taehyung can just imagine how deep the hatred goes.

“I’d cry on the spot.” Taehyung sympathizes.

“I cried once. I didn’t know the topic. I just lied that my grandma had died and left.”

“You’re… unhinged.” Jungkook only shrugs. “And you look proud.”

“She gave me a ten from the kindness of her heart, so… I won.” the footballer smiles, looking away as he thinks of a topic. “Worst roommate habit? Do you have one?”

“Jimin transferred here last year. Do you remember, my friend Jimin?” Jungkook only nods, because he’s heard of Jimin, but they’ve never met before. “He asked to be put in my dorm, so we’re roommates. He’s not annoying, per se, but he sleep-talks a lot, and I always wake up to him asking me questions. The worst part is, we have full-on conversations before I realize that he’s sleeping.” Taehyung says with a quiet laugh.

“That would annoy the fuck out of me. I hate being woken up.” Jungkook tsks.

“I know.” of course, he knows; he used to wake Jungkook up in the middle of the night for the most random motives possible, mostly to see him sulky and whiny. “What’s your favorite food? I mean, currently.” Taehyung asks, resting his chin on his palm.

“I’m in a sushi phase. I could eat it every day. I don’t even like sushi that much, I just like eating it. That doesn’t even make sense… Whatever.” they both pull away from how much they were leaning closer to each other once the waiter brings them their cokes, and they just thank him without breaking eye contact. “My turn.”

“Seems like it.”

“Most embarrassing moment during practice?”

“Uhm…” Taehyung has to look away, thinking. “Oh, last week. I got hit with a ball right on the forehead, and I fell backwards. I almost passed out, it hurt so bad.”

Jungkook hisses. “If I got hit with a ball on the forehead… I’d at least pretend to pass out to minimize the embarrassment.” he teases. “Those balls are really fucking hard, though. I remember playing with you, they hurt just hitting the palms.”

“That’s because you have princess hands. That has nothing to do with the sport.”

“Go on, annoy me more, and I’ll keep ordering more and more shit. You’ll walk out of here in debt.” Jungkook threatens, his eyes with a little squint to them. “My turn.”

“It’s not your turn.” the elder points.

“Whatever. What’s your celebrity crush right now? Is it still the same?”

“Yeah, I can’t stop my crush on Min Yoongi, he’s too fucking cool. I won’t even ask about yours, it’s probably going to be some nerd-ass answer.” Taehyung takes a sip to hide his smile, and Jungkook rolls his eyes; his lips, however, are curved up and his eyes are shining with pure entertainment. “Do you still steal the shampoo samples?”

“I did that once, what the fuck.” Jungkook immediately defends. “Or, like, twice.”

“You took enough to fill up a bottle…” Taehyung argues. “It’s ok, I won’t judge.”

“You’re a menace, did you know that?” he rhetorically asks. “Do you still cheat on every single game that you play so that you don’t have to admit that you suck at them?”

Taehyung gasps. “That’s not even true.” Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “You’re just jealous because you always lost against me. But alas… What’s the worst date that you’ve ever been on?” he asks, not because he wants to ever imagine Jungkook giving the time of his day to anyone else, but because it could be fun to hear.

“Oh, fuck, there was this guy. We met through Tinder, and we agreed on a date only because he invited me to one of those interactive horror escape rooms, and that sounded cool, so I said yes. He was, like, shorter than me, ok, and he kept saying that he’d protect me from whatever jumped at me. First of all, he was dumb as fuck and couldn’t even follow the clues, so I was doing all the thinking, which is bad, because—”

“You can’t follow the clues either.” the elder teases.

“Exactly! Like, I’m the muscle power… I need someone else to think.” Jungkook leans closer on the table, and Taehyung once again rests his chin on his palm with an entertained smile; they went to many escape rooms together, and they always had fun.

“Go on.”

“Then, some actor dressed as a demon entered the room and this motherfucker physically put me between him and the actor.” he continues; Taehyung laughs. “Hold on, it gets worse. Then, we tried running from the guy, and my dumb-ass date ran at an abysmal speed, and closed the door before I could get past. So, I’m there yelling at him to open the fucking door while the actor was growling and breathing down my neck, and the little asshole kept apologizing, saying that he got scared.”

Taehyung has a hand over his stomach as he laughs, because he can just picture the entire scene unfolding in front of him; and the fact that Jungkook still looks angry only makes it ten times funnier.

“So, I finally open the door, and we get to a puzzle where someone had to crawl through a tunnel to get a clue from the other side. He didn’t want to go, because he was afraid that there would be another actor. I had to crawl. Me. I got startled because an actor started messing with my hair and there was no light there, and I kicked the fucking wall accidentally. I get out of there limping, my knee hurting. My fucking date praised me for how well I was handling the whole thing. He patted my shoulder, Taehyung.”

There are tears in Taehyung’s eyes. “I can’t breathe.”

“It’s not even funny. I called an Uber while he suggested where to go for dinner.”

The new information only makes him wheeze harder.

Jungkook presses his lips together. “Why are you laughing? It’s not funny at all.”

“He left… you behind… Oh, fuck.” Taehyung has to hold his stomach. “Knowing you, I can just imagine how pissed off you were. What a gem of a story. Thank you for sharing.”

“The staff took a picture in the end and I was literally red with anger.” Jungkook adds, which only makes him choke on another wheeze. “Stop, seriously. That was the worst date ever, I wanted to kill myself in front of him so that he’d feel bad and guilty.”

The joke is enough to make his laugh falter a little. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s a figure of speech.” Jungkook gestures mindlessly.

“I know. Still.” Taehyung gulps. “But, gosh, that’s incredible. We always had so much fun at the escape rooms, I haven’t been to one in forever. I do remember how you refused to think about anything, though.”

“Now imagine my surprise when he wanted me to do that.” he sighs, shakes his head in disappointment. “Whatever. What was your worst date ever?”

“Can we repeat questions?” and, really, they don’t care for the rules anymore.

While they needed the structure to ease them into a conversation, it all feels so natural that they couldn’t care less about whose turn it is, or whether they can repeat questions or not. As long as they keep talking, they’re comfortable.

“Yes. Start speaking, don’t piss me off.” Jungkook crosses his arms, ready.

“I went on a date with a guy a couple of months ago. I was seriously so bored that I only said yes because I wanted to go to a trampoline park. Listen, I thought that it would be super fun since I’m an athlete and all. And—”

“You chose a trampoline park for a first date?” Jungkook interrupts.

“That’s not the embarrassing part, wait.”

“That’s highly debatable…”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “You’d fucking have a blast at a trampoline park.”

Jungkook squints. “Yeah, that sounds fun as fuck. Anyway, continue…”

“Ok, wait, I don’t want to tell this story.” Taehyung retreats, hiding his face in his hand when he feels it heating up. “It’s actually really embarrassing.”

“I told you mine.” Jungkook argues.

“Mine is way worse.” he whines into his palm.

“I promise not to laugh. Seriously. Continue.” the footballer promises.

Taehyung breathes in and out. “He dared me to do a flip. I did. I landed it with perfection. Then he looked horrified, and just… pointed at my pants. I ripped my pants completely in the back.” Jungkook’s jaw falls. “I had… Star Wars boxers on. Everyone could see them, my pants were hanging by a small thread. Some kid pointed, and commented on Darth Vader… and just fucking told everyone around us about it.”

Jungkook covers his mouth, trying to remain serious. He did promise. “How big was the hole in your pants, really?” he asks, voice surprisingly calm.

“I don’t see how that even matters, but I had to hold my pants together as I walked to the Uber that I called immediately after blocking my date. My whole ass was out.” and that does it. Jungkook throws his head back as he laughs, picturing the absurdity in his mind. He would’ve had the best day of his life if he saw that happen. “Stop.”

But Jungkook physically can’t stop laughing.

“You’re such a liar, you said that you wouldn’t laugh.”

“Listen!” Jungkook tries to sit straighter, wipes under his eyes. “At least you had boxers on. Imagine if you didn’t. That would put you on a few different lists.”

“Shut the fuck up, seriously, I can’t—”

“Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt.” they turn to the waiter as he approaches with the two pizzas, and Taehyung has to send Jungkook a glare as he giggles through his tears the entire time that the young man is placing the food in front of them.

“Stop laughing.”

“I can’t.”

“I hate you.” Taehyung mumbles.

“You don’t.” Jungkook laughs a little harder as he reaches forward to steal a slice from the elder’s plate. He takes an immediate bite out of it. “It’s good.” he says with his mouthful. “I like the dough better than the other one.”

“That was a whole slice that you just took from me.” Taehyung raises an eyebrow.

“You get full after three slices and don’t even eat the crusts. That was going to be mine, either way.” Jungkook carelessly points out, and Taehyung doesn’t even have any defense for that, because it’s true. So, instead, he starts digging into his food.

They focus solely on the pizza for exactly two slices before Jungkook has enough of the silence and looks up at him, thinking of what to ask next. “Did you go on a second date with the guy from the trampoline park?”

“Are you insane? I blocked him before the Uber even arrived. Besides, one date was already enough… I can’t find people interesting enough to repeat dates anymore.”

Jungkook tilts his head. “Did you seriously not date anyone?” he never heard of any romance rumors involving the elder, but he actively tried to avoid those so that his heart wouldn’t suffer even more.

Still, it’s hard to imagine that someone with Taehyung’s looks and personality didn’t find someone to date in two whole years. It’s not like he did much better, only agreeing to a relationship because he thought that it would help him feel less alone and heartbroken, only to immediately end it because it didn’t.

Taehyung shakes his head. “Not seriously. I never put a label on anything.”

“So, you did go out with people…?” there’s a hint of jealousy in his tone, and they both act as though they don’t notice it, but Taehyung likes it — for some reason.

“A few times. I can’t seem to talk to one person for longer than a week before I get bored and realize that it doesn’t feel the same.” Taehyung elaborates, and they freeze at the implication. “I mean—” he stops. “Whatever.” there’s no reason to try and dismiss what he said, because it’s the truth and they both know it.

“I get it.”

“You had a girlfriend.” Taehyung says with annoyance in his tone.

Jungkook chuckles; it’s entertaining. “Now that I can be honest, we only dated because she introduced me as her boyfriend in front of her friends and I felt bad to deny it in front of people. I was also convincing myself that it was time to, I don’t know, put myself out there in that sense, so I said ‘fuck it’. We were just, like, in the talking stage before that. I tried for two months… and then I felt suffocated by what I was doing. I tried to let it make me feel better but, uhm, it doesn’t… feel the same.” he uses the same expression, toying with a piece of crust. “Also, whatever.”

They look at each other for a moment before sharing a little knowing smile, and going back to their food. The comfortable silence, again, doesn’t last long.

Jungkook breaks it again. “What… Uhm, what changed the most about you in the last two years?” he questions, because so far, it feels as though they’re still exactly where they left off, and it’s almost unsettling how easily they manage to get back on track. How easy it is to pretend that two years didn’t pass, and that hearts weren’t broken.

“My sense of style.”

“Don’t be a coward. You know what I mean.” Jungkook presses, though lightly, and the elder only hums. They can feel the shift in the atmosphere around them, the topic more serious and neither wants to make a joke out of it anymore.

So, Taehyung thinks of a proper answer. “I think… I got quieter.”

“You did.” Jungkook acknowledges.

“Yeah.” Taehyung looks down at his plate, worries at his bottom lip. He liked how energetic and loud he was, but that side of him has long rested. Not only because his social skills took a hit after the ability, but also because he’d rather be alone than be with anyone that he might accidentally touch and see those numbers again.

They haunt his sleep.

“What about you?” Taehyung turns the question around.

Jungkook finishes chewing the food in his mouth, takes his time swallowing it before he shrugs. “I’m better at letting things go…” and Taehyung feels those words in his stomach, because he knows what that means; Jungkook fought so hard for them, even when Taehyung didn’t deserve it. His stomach does a flip, and the pizza doesn’t look appetizing anymore — he pushes his plate away. “You’re not eating more?”

“No, I’m full.” Taehyung lies.

“You sure?” he checks; the elder nods. “More for me.”

Taehyung watches him as he gathers the slices in the same plate to pile the two together on top of each other, and continues eating away. “I heard that you’re colder towards people.” he carefully says. They had friends in common that, unfortunately, felt as though they had to pick a side to remain friends with, and Taehyung isn’t so proud to say that he pushed most of them away. The ones that remained, however, shared information that he pretended not to care about. Such as Jungkook’s coldness.

“You’ve asked about me?” Jungkook accuses.

“No. I just know.”

“Hm.” he takes another bite. “It was a defense mechanism. Then I just didn’t give a fuck, nor did I care to make amends with whoever thought that I’m cold… I just don’t care about anyone’s opinion anymore. When what happened happened, people asked too much, pried, and I didn’t want to answer anything. I wanted them to fuck off.”

“Were you lonely?” Taehyung asks in a soft tone.

Jungkook stops chewing to look at him. His head tilts, a nervous tick. “Yeah.”

“Yeah. Me too.” the elder looks away from him, and they remain quiet for a few minutes while Jungkook finishes eating. The silence isn’t uncomfortable, but it feels heavy and unwanted. They want to talk more, but they still need to digest what was said.

Taehyung just watches him and the people around them.

Despite his own silently racing thoughts, Jungkook enjoys the pizza the same way that he did before; he folds the slices in half before taking them to his mouth. He still chews with an angry face when the food is good, and he hums after every bite. He’s still so… Jungkook, and Taehyung can’t look away from him.

Then, for the third time, he’s the one breaking the silence. “Are you happy?”

Taehyung immediately deflects. “Sometimes.”

“That’s not an answer.” Jungkook doesn’t take it this time. “Answer. Properly.”

“Are you?” he looks up to meet his eyes.

“Right now, or in general?” the footballer asks.

“Right now.” Taehyung taps the table with two fingers. “Right here, right now.”

Jungkook looks at him before leaning closer on the table. “Yes. And you?”

Taehyung gulps. “Right now?” Jungkook only nods. “Yeah. Right now, yeah.”

They’re both leaning closer to each other, their eyes filled with the unspoken words that they desperately want to say, and their lips have soft smiles on them. Jungkook feels his heart flutter in his chest; he can’t take it anymore. “Right, don’t make it weird.”

Taehyung laughs. “I’m not. You’re so fucking annoying.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I’ve always been annoying. This isn’t news. Besides, you’re far more annoying than I am, and you don’t hear me saying that every two minutes.”

“Yet, you’re still talking to me.” that quote alone makes them both feel transported back two years into the past — the worst part is, they like how familiar it sounds.

“Two years, and you’re still using the same line on me?” Jungkook teases.

“It was my smoothest moment. And you fell for it.” Taehyung says with a laugh that is easily matched by Jungkook, and he points an accusing finger at him. Instinctively, the footballer reaches for it to put it down on the table and hold it between his own.

Automatic, natural.

The moment snaps in an instant when Taehyung pulls away before their fingers can even touch. Their smiles fall, their eyes widen. “I…” he stops. He what?

Jungkook chuckles. Humorless, bitter. “Sorry. I forgot.”

Taehyung has to swallow the lump in his throat. “Forgot what?” but he knows.

“I forgot that you refuse to touch me.” Jungkook says without holding back, noticing how Taehyung’s gone as far as keeping his hands under the table now. And Taehyung can see the genuine and raw hurt on his face. Once again, he’s the reason behind the heartbreak visible in Jungkook’s eyes, and he can’t bear it anymore.

“Jungkook, I—”

“I see that you’ve finished. May I get you anything else?” they’re interrupted by the waiter once again, and Jungkook looks out the window to try and hide how that action alone brought him close to tears. It was going too well, it was being too easy to pretend, and the reality hit him like whiplash. Of course, it did.

“Uhm, no, just the bill…” Taehyung’s the one answering.

“Sure thing. Will it be card?” the waiter questions as he gets the card machine from the side pouch hanging on his belt, and Taehyung only nods. “Are you paying together?”

“I’ll pay half.” Jungkook weakly speaks.

“No, I got it.” Taehyung insists. “I must. To be forgiven… for today.”

Jungkook looks at him. “Right.”

2 YEARS, 2 WEEKS PRIOR

Jungkook breathes out into his palm before giving it a little discreet sniff; mint and fresh, just as he expected. He clears his throat, fixes his hair. “You got this.” he tells himself before he knocks three times on the door. He could use the spare key, but something in him tells him that, perhaps, he shouldn’t anymore — and he wants the surprise to last.

He’s standing there in a thought-out outfit, holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a bag of takeout in the other. He even put on his expensive perfume.

It takes less than a minute for Taehyung to open the door, looking as beautiful as always, and Jungkook immediately smiles. There’s ambient music on, and notes sprawled all over the table; Taehyung was studying, he guesses.

“Hi.” Jungkook greets, holding the flowers a little higher.

Taehyung looks at the bouquet: it’s a mixture of different colored roses, wrapped up nicely in red paper and a white bow. “What are those?” he asks, quietly.

“Flowers.”

“I can see that.” Taehyung nods.

“Great, your eyesight works!” Jungkook teases, but it’s obvious from his voice that he’s nervous. It’s not just an ordinary visit, Taehyung can tell right away. Jungkook’s dressed like he has somewhere important to go, and the flowers are a giveaway. The younger raises his hand a little, a silent offer, and Taehyung finally moves to take them.

Jungkook promptly ignores how Taehyung chooses to grab the flowers from the very bottom so that their hands won’t touch, especially after he sees the brief hesitation before even taking them. Taehyung takes them to his nose to breathe it in, and he can’t hold back his smile; the flowers smell great, and the gesture makes him blush.

He steps aside, allowing Jungkook into his dorm. “I don’t have a vase…”

“You own seventeen useless Star Wars things, but not a vase?” Jungkook teases as he leaves the bag of food on the table. “I’d expect you to have a Darth Vader one, or some bullshit.” he admits, walking towards Taehyung’s bed to sit down.

Taehyung frowns. “Why would I own a vase?”

“For flowers. Duh.”

“Who the fuck is bringing me flowers?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow, and just silently points at himself. Taehyung pouts. “Right. I’ll find something, hold on…” he looks around the room, and Jungkook merely watches him pick up and put down multiple objects until he settles for an empty protein shaker. He puts the bouquet in it, seeing if it’ll fit — it does, so he adds some water. “Huh? What do you think?”

“Those are roses, Tae.” the footballer points out, offended. “They deserve dignity.”

“They’re in water!” Taehyung defends as he gestures towards them, but Jungkook only stares at him. “Ok, I’ll buy a proper vase to put them in.” he quickly gives in, and the younger watches as he fixes the position of each flower, making sure that it looks perfect.

“You better.” he says, much quieter.

“Seriously, though… Why’d you bring me flowers?” Taehyung asks without even looking at him, still focused on the flowers; Jungkook’s thankful for that.

“Because I wanted to. Do I need a reason?”

Taehyung shrugs, turns towards him. “Usually people have reasons.”

“The reason is that I wanted to.” he deflates, the confidence with which he walked into the dorm, long gone. It’s hard being honest about his feelings so openly when everything seems so uncertain as of lately. He doesn’t want to get rejected.

“Well, thank you.” Taehyung says with a shy smile. “They’re beautiful, they smell good, and I love them… Thank you.” he adds, hands together at his front. Jungkook smiles up at him, too, his own cheeks flushing. “What’s in the bag…?”

“The bag?” Jungkook lets out, lost in the elder’s eyes. “Oh. The bag. I brought some food for us.” he shakes his head, focusing back. “Come here, let’s eat.” he gets up to go to the table instead, and while he sets the books aside to place the food boxes on the surface, Taehyung walks away to put his gloves on. Jungkook hates them.

“It smells good.” Taehyung comments.

And it’s odd. Eating together. There’s an unspoken tension between them, especially after the fight that they had not long ago, but it also feels… natural, and comfortable, because they’re still them. They still crack jokes and laugh together like they wouldn’t wish to be anywhere else in the world — but there’s a barrier between them.

They both do their best to ignore it.

Taehyung has his eyes on the scar on Jungkook’s eyebrow. It’s mostly healed by now, but the mark is still very much there, and remembering how panicked he felt makes him hate looking at it. His hand lifts for a moment, ready to reach for it, but he holds back. “Does it still hurt?” he settles for asking instead.

“What?” Jungkook glances at him, and he can tell where Taehyung is looking. “My eyebrow?” he checks; the elder hums. “You ask me that ten times a day. It didn’t hurt yesterday, nor the three days before, so it doesn’t hurt today. Stop worrying about it.”

Taehyung pouts. “It looks like it’s healing well…”

“And it doesn’t hurt. It only hurts to be benched.” Jungkook shakes his head.

“You better keep your ass on the bench for, at least, another week.” Taehyung points his chopsticks at him, threateningly. Jungkook frowns. “Don’t frown at me.”

“You’re such a traitor.”

“Call it what you must.” he shrugs.

Jungkook quietly laughs to himself as he puts his chopsticks down, his eyes wandering around the dorm room. The flowers catch his attention. He gulps, looking back at the elder who’s still comfortably eating in front of him. “Tae?” he calls.

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something without you freaking out?” he prefaces.

Taehyung stops mid-bite. “That sentence alone makes me want to freak out.”

“Just answer.” Jungkook fixes his position. “Did you mean what you said last week?”

“About what? I say a lot of things.” Taehyung puts his chopsticks down, too, sensing the seriousness in his tone. He doesn’t know where the conversation is headed, but his palms are already sweating just from Jungkook’s voice.

“My shirt.” Jungkook clarifies. “About it being a statement.”

Realization dawns on Taehyung’s face, and it’s physically visible. Taehyung feels his heart crumbling in his chest. He desperately wants to reach across the table with both of his hands, cup Jungkook’s face and tell the whole entire world how amazing the young man is. However, with the same level of desperation, he wants to keep Jungkook away before he ends up finding out his date.

The two thoughts, unfortunately coexisting in his mind, have been sending him into a spiral that he’s been doing his best to ignore — until now. With the question being asked so directly, how can he lie? How can he come up with something like that?

He wants Jungkook.

Touching him, though, is something that he can’t stomach doing.

If he sees Jungkook’s date, that will be the only thing that he thinks of, the only thing that he’ll care about. Every moment spent by his side will be a countdown of their time together until the doomed day. He can’t do that to himself. To them.

That’s why he also can’t lay a finger on his mother, or anyone.

He notices how Jungkook’s waiting for an answer. “I said maybe. Maybe isn’t yes.”

“It also isn’t no.” the footballer says with a little smile, and Taehyung just looks away, picks up his chopsticks again to eat some more and distract himself. “Tae, would you go somewhere with me if I asked?” he asks, tone serious.

“We go to places all the time.” Taehyung tries.

“No. Like… with me.” Jungkook hesitates. “Don’t make me fucking spell it out.”

Taehyung looks up at him with a shrug. “I’m just not understanding, is all.”

“A date, Taehyung.” he clarifies. Taehyung visibly freezes, sucks in a breath that shows how the question actually affects him. He looks down at his hands, something that the footballer notices, but the silence is nerve-wracking. “You don’t want to…?”

“I didn’t say that. I’m always going places with you, Kook, I’m just… not ready.” he half-whispers, eyes on his food. “We can go anywhere. I’ll go with you anywhere, but, uhm, I’m not— ready. For that.” Taehyung quietly adds, fidgeting with his chopsticks.

Jungkook nods, slowly, processing the words. “Ok. So, not a date.” Taehyung looks up, and their smiles are almost immediate. “Can I call it a date in my head?”

Taehyung chuckles. “What does that even mean?”

“You don’t have access to my thoughts.” Jungkook shrugs.

The elder hums. “Fortunately.”

Jungkook grins. “Then, I’ll be calling it a date in my head.” Taehyung fully laughs at that, which sounds like pure hope to Jungkook’s ears. “Can I dress like we’re on a date?”

“Is that why you’re all dressed up?”

“Don’t put me on the spot.” Jungkook crosses his arms. “Maybe, though.” he still admits, even if a little shyly. Taehyung rolls his eyes with an entertained smile as he gets up to start cleaning up the table. “Are you saying no to the date because it’s me?”

“No.” the answer is immediate.

“Then, what?” he tries, but Taehyung just continues gathering the now empty boxes of takeout instead of answering. “You say that you’re not ready, and I accept that, I don’t mind waiting… But what exactly should we wait for? What are you not ready for?”

Taehyung eyes him. “You ask a lot of questions.”

“Well, you answer half of them, so I have to ask more so that the number of answered ones is higher. It’s pure mathematics.” Jungkook still finds it in himself to joke despite the clear avoidance to answer what he just asked. “Just— What must change for you to be ready? I just want to understand, I don’t mean to pressure you…”

Taehyung sighs. “Everything.”

Hadn’t it been the sudden ability, nothing. Nothing would’ve had to change.

“How so?” again, nothing comes except for the sounds of the chopsticks being washed thoroughly. Jungkook clears his throat. “So. I sleep in your bed, and we cuddle.”

“Sometimes.”

“I have a key to this room.” Jungkook continues.

“That you stole.” he argues.

“Your mom knows my favorite foods, and she cooks for me.”

Taehyung tries not to smile, even if his back is still towards him. “That’s unrelated.”

“Alright. Fine. How about, let’s talk about you wearing my uniform shirt to the match, with my name on your back for everyone to see.” Jungkook crosses his arms again, and he feels proud of himself when Taehyung remains quiet. “Got you. What are you actually afraid of, if you still choose to do shit like that? And, just know that if you avoid the question, I’m going to ask ten more.” Taehyung turns around to face him, his expression troubled. “What scares you that much, Tae?”

The elder gestures between them. “Losing this.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows go up a bit in surprise. “You think that dating me would make you lose me?” he asks, trying to understand what he means. And how can Taehyung possibly explain the actual reason without sounding insane?

“I think… I think that things change a lot once you name them.” is what he says.

“Yeah, I get it, but… You know that I’ve liked you since forever.” Jungkook unconsciously frowns. “And you still keep me around. Parading my name.”

“I wasn’t parading it—”

“One of the guys asked me if we’re dating.” Taehyung’s words die in his mouth, and he looks at him with his eyes a little wider. Jungkook catches that reaction. “I said no.”

“Oh.” the elder lets out; while his body does relax, he sounds disappointed.

“Does that bother you? Me saying no?” Jungkook tentatively asks. Taehyung looks away from him at that, set on just wiping the table so that their eyes aren’t locked into each other’s anymore. Jungkook tsks. “Come here.”

“Why?”

“Tae. Come here.” Jungkook firmly says, pointing towards the chair. Taehyung puts the rag down, and walks around the table to sit on the chair beside him. They’re not touching, but they’re close, and Jungkook takes the opportunity to properly look at him.

When he looks into Taehyung’s eyes, he always sees so much softness, affection, and he can’t be making all of that up. What he doesn’t understand, is how he also sees fear — which is a recent addition to the mixture. There’s something deeper, something that he can’t place or identify when the elder avoids all of his lines of questioning.

Jungkook’s eyes flicker to his lips briefly before looking up again.

Taehyung gulps. “I really like the flowers.” he whispers.

“Yeah?” Jungkook whispers back. Taehyung only nods.

When Jungkook reaches for him, Taehyung gets up right away. Jungkook’s hand lowers immediately, curling back into his own lap. “I’m not saying ‘never’.” Jungkook watches him walk around the table again, standing across from him.

“So… What am I supposed to do about you?” the younger asks, and Taehyung gapes a couple of times, unable to answer it. “Should I stop asking?”

“No!” Taehyung immediately covers his mouth with one hand at how fast the word came out. He feels incredibly guilty. He can’t bear the idea of losing Jungkook, but he knows how selfish of him it is to want to keep the younger around. He knows that he might never be ready to tell him the truth, and might never be able to forget his fears.

Jungkook tries not to smile.

“Just… give me time.” he still says despite himself.

“Okay.” Jungkook nods, looking at him for a moment, studying him. He truly believes that there’s something much deeper going on, and he’ll have to trust Taehyung to be honest and talk to him when he’s ready. “When you’re ready, I’ll take you out.”

“It might be stupid.” Taehyung gulps. “Waiting for me.”

“You’re worth being stupid for.” Jungkook’s voice is full of honesty, and Taehyung feels the words directly in his heart. He knows that Jungkook means it. He’s not saying it just because. And that’s what hurts the most.

“Okay.” he whispers with a little smile.

Jungkook smiles back, looking at the flowers again. “You have to keep those alive.”

Taehyung follows his eyes. “I’ll do my best to keep them alive and healthy.”

“You better.” he half-threatens. “Do you… want to watch a movie, or something?”

The elder nods, immensely relieved to know that Jungkook still wants to stay even though he got rejected a minute ago. “I’d love that. We can watch whatever you want.”

“Let’s watch Age of Ultron ag—”

“No. You’re obsessed with that movie, I’ve had enough.” Taehyung frowns.

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “You just rejected me. I can’t even pick the movie?”

Taehyung halts. “Ok, we can watch Age of Ultron again.”

“Thought so.”

08:45 PM, PRESENT

Taehyung holds the door for Jungkook to walk out first, and the latter just passes by him without even meeting his eyes. His posture is back to how tense it was earlier on in the day: his hands are shoved in his pockets, his eyebrows furrowed and smile long gone. Taehyung can tell that he’s hurt. He can tell that pulling his hand away felt like a slap to the younger man, a reminder of reality. It brought him back to the present.

“Kook…” Taehyung calls, follows after him.

“Don’t.” Jungkook says, not looking back; he sounds tired. “I don’t want to talk.”

Taehyung nods to himself, shoving his own hands in his pockets as he walks behind the man. Jungkook’s hurt because of him, so the best thing to do is to give him some space, as much as possible, all things considered. Which is, walking five steps behind.

Jungkook can’t think straight. So, he just keeps on walking.

Taehyung follows in silence until they pass an arcade with bright purple lights flashing atop the door. They used to go there together whenever they wanted to skip classes, or whenever one of them was too bored to do anything at their dorms.

He stops walking, standing by the door.

Jungkook walks a few more meters before realizing that he’s stopped hearing the steps following him. He turns around, confused, and has to walk a little closer again for the elder to even be able to hear him properly. “What?” he asks.

Taehyung gestures towards the arcade. “Do you still suck at racing games?”

There’s a beat of silence. “Do you seriously want to do this right now?”

Taehyung shrugs. “You said that you don’t want to talk…” he begins. “I can beat your ass quietly.” he looks back at the younger man, his lips trying to pull into a smile.

Jungkook fiddles with the ring around his bottom lip. “You can never beat me.”

“Now that’s just you being delusional.” Taehyung teases, shoulders relaxing. He just gestures with his head, approaching the automatic door that slides open for them to walk in. Jungkook smiles down at his feet before shaking his head and schooling himself into looking serious again; he follows him into the arcade.

Taehyung buys them a handful of credits for the machines, refusing to let Jungkook pay for anything when he’s, according to him, still apologizing for today. And the latter lets him, because he doesn’t feel like talking enough to actually discuss it. He’s hurt.

“Which one do you want to play first?” Taehyung asks. Jungkook only points towards the basketball machines. “You want to challenge the basketball captain?”

“I’m better than you.” Jungkook shrugs, already boldly walking towards the machines. “The only reason why I don’t join your team is to not overshadow you.”

Taehyung hums. “Ok, let’s see.” he hands over one of the credits, shaped as a circular coin, dropping into Jungkook’s palm so that his fingers won’t actually brush against it. Neither addresses it, even if both notice the action.

The game consists of three phases: the first is just regular shots, while in the second they must hit the slowly moving basket and, in the last one, it moves faster. They remain so focused that they don’t even make a sound. Taehyung refuses to lose, his ego on the line, and Jungkook has hopes — so he tries his best.

When the timer goes off, they both step away to peek into each other’s score.

“Fuck off.” Jungkook spits, eyebrows brought together in a frown; he hates losing.

Taehyung laughs. “You’re such a sore loser.”

“It wasn’t my fault, this machine is faulty. Or, like, the height wasn’t properly measured. The ball feels too heavy, too, they should probably check it.” Jungkook starts looking for things to blame. “I don’t even think that my timer went for as long as yours.”

“You lost by forty points. I don’t think that there should be a debate.” he teases.

“The machine is rigged.” Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“Mhm… Either that, or you just fucking suck.” Taehyung points, and Jungkook laughs that belly laugh of his. It sounds genuine, carefree, and it makes Taehyung’s smile stretch up to reach his eyes. There he is, he thinks.

Taehyung can’t get enough of Jungkook looking like this: happy.

“Fine, let’s try another one.” Jungkook starts walking towards another game, and the elder follows without a question. He picks a reaction game, because he knows how much Taehyung struggles with them — it’s not cheating if he just naturally has an advantage. Taehyung doesn’t have it in himself to complain before the game.

He does, however, have many thoughts after he ends up losing.

“That game requires zero intelligence, that’s why you won.”

“Convenient thing to say after losing.” Jungkook sing-songs, pleased with the results showing on the screen. He even takes a picture of it, just in case.

Taehyung scoffs. “I didn’t take a picture of your loss. Why are you keeping evidence of mine? Delete that immediately.” he tries to take the phone, but Jungkook pulls it back.

“Nah. I’m keeping evidence because I’m smart.” Jungkook winks.

“Delete it.” he still insists.

“If you want to delete it, come get it.” the younger challenges, holding the phone behind his back. Taehyung frowns. He knows what that implies, and he has no way of fighting against such a thing. He’d have to hold him, perhaps even wrestle him for the phone, and he just can’t do all of that. It’s unfair.

And he knows that it was a mere reflex, because Jungkook would do that all the time while being annoying; he’d put things purposely out of his reach just to inconvenience him, just to end up laughing. But things are different now, and Taehyung can’t react the same way that he would in the past.

“Whatever.” Taehyung gives in, walking past him towards one of the racing games that they used to spend hours on. They used to keep a scoreboard of that game, and the results varied a lot depending on the day; they’re very competitive, and both hate losing.

Jungkook sits down with an entertained grin.

That’s where the day feels the most normal so far. Sitting there, hands on their steering wheels and feet slamming on the accelerators, they forget everything else. They laugh, insult each other, scream at the other when they purposely drive against their car to set them off track. The fights don’t exist, the distance, the time away.

They’re just them. Them, playing a game, having fun.

They shove each other, they complain. They’re back two years into the past.

Taehyung notices it every single time, but schools himself not to react to touch done over layers of clothing, especially not when Jungkook’s laughing. This is safe.

Six rounds pass in what only feels like a minute. Time doesn’t matter in the moment, simply because neither thinks about anything at all. For a brief period, they’re both free from everything. Taehyung can relax. Jungkook can laugh.

“Ok, I need a break.” Taehyung’s the one pausing it before Jungkook can hit the buttons to start another round. He rolls up his sleeves, actually worked up. His stomach hurts from laughing, and he feels himself sweat a little from the adrenaline of the game.

“Tired of losing?” Jungkook teases.

“I literally won four of the six games.”

“Whatever.” the younger looks back at the screen, relaxing a little on the chair. He eyes the cars, stopped on the main menu of the game. “I’ve always wanted to drive one of these.” he comments, pointing at it.

Taehyung follows his finger. “A Ferrari?”

“No, idiot. Just, like, a car. I need to get my license.” Jungkook puckers his lips. “I want to properly drive somewhere. Like, a road trip, you know?” he gestures. “With no destination in mind, just drive wherever the car takes me, and enjoy it to the fullest.”

“That’s usually how people end up murdered.” Taehyung points out.

Jungkook looks at him. “You’re so fucking dramatic.”

Taehyung raises his hands. “I’m just realistic!”

“I just—” Jungkook stops, tilts his head. “I want to go somewhere. Like, once I’m done with college, and I have my license, I want to get in a car and just fucking drive to whatever places for a whole fucking month, without studying or caring about anything.”

“By yourself?”

Jungkook’s eyes peel away from the steering wheel and back to his face, where they stay for a few seconds in silence. His lips twitch, but he doesn’t allow himself to actually smile. “Maybe not.” he says, quiet. “I, uhm, I don’t know yet. I haven’t planned any of this. It’s just one of those things that I want to do… Like, I’m sure that you have things like that, too. Just shit that you want to do, and haven’t yet.”

Taehyung gives it a thought. “I want to go camping.”

Jungkook quietly laughs. “Yeah?”

“Yes.” he nods. “I’ve also never learned how to swim. I want to learn it.”

At that, Jungkook laughs wholeheartedly. “Remember when—”

“Don’t.”

“And you almost—”

“Seriously, shut up.” Taehyung nudges him with his shoulder, lips stretched into an entertained smile despite his words. He knows what Jungkook’s mentioning, and it’s for sure the time when he tried to swim to prove that he could, and almost drowned himself and Jungkook by pushing his head underwater to keep himself up.

“I want to go scuba diving.” Jungkook mentions.

“Teach me how to swim first.” Taehyung says before he can hold himself, and they both lose their smiles. He blinks. “I mean— You should do that.” he tries to fix what he said, but the sentences don’t sound remotely close, so he desperately thinks of how to change the topic. “College ending is lowkey scary. Meeting people as adults is really hard… What if I end up at a job where I just fucking hate everyone?”

Jungkook lets him get away with it this time. “You have gravitational pull, Tae. You’ll make friends. Easily. Everyone likes you, you know everyone on campus.”

“Yeah, but—” he stops. “I don’t know. I hate thinking about the future.”

“Me, too.” Jungkook nods.

“You always have.” Taehyung recalls.

“Yeah… And you used to be way more chill about it.” Jungkook raises an eyebrow.

“The future fucking scares me. Like, a lot.” Taehyung quietly admits, looking down at his hands. They’re the biggest reason why he dreads each day. “I try to live each day individually now, instead of… thinking about what tomorrow might bring me.”

“Well… If you could choose the perfect day, how would it be? No college, no assignments, nothing to worry about. You wake up, and what’s a good fucking day?”

Taehyung hesitates. “You go first.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “You’re such a fucking loser.” he teases, but there’s no actual malice in his voice. “But, uhm, let’s see… I’d sleep in, for sure. No alarms, no practice and no classes. I’d get coffee to start the day well, walk around a bit without actually having anywhere to be… Morning walks can be very calming.”

Taehyung chuckles. “You fucking hate walking.”

“Yeah, but if it’s the perfect day, I probably won’t be complaining about it. Then I’d probably get some food, go somewhere fun… Take pictures, enjoy the sun. Definitely would play games, where I’d obviously win.” Taehyung opens his mouth, ready to point out how he’s just lost, but he’s faster. “This is my fantasy, don’t interrupt me. I guess I’d just spend the whole day doing random shit with someone that I genuinely like being around. Nothing planned, nowhere that I have to be. Laughing. Comfortable.”

“That’s…” Taehyung eyes him. “That’s basically today.”

Jungkook’s smile slips away, realizing it himself. “Yeah.” he looks away. “And you?”

“I’ve been keeping to myself for so long now that I probably would choose to spend the day with someone that actually means something to me. Someone who can make me laugh over the stupidest shit. I’d get something good to eat, preferably with someone who already knows what I like, so that I don’t have to explain everything.” he says, his tone quiet. “I think… I’d want it to be one of those days where I don’t have to think about what happens tomorrow. Just— Live in the moment, and have a good time.”

“Loser.” Jungkook insults again. “That’s also today.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “Go figure.” he looks back at him, only to find that Jungkook’s already staring at him. They’re both resting their heads on the chair, now facing each other with lazy smiles on their lips; their eyes are softer now.

They’re close.

Their chairs are against each other, and that puts them so incredibly close that it’s impossible not to notice it in the dark room. They can see how their eyes shine under the neon lights and the screens around them, and the tension is palpable. Their smiles slowly give way to a more serious expression. Taehyung gulps.

Jungkook licks his lips.

“Hey, sorry, are you still using that machine, or can we go?” the moment is broken when two teenagers speak behind them, and they rush to get out.

“Sorry, man.” Jungkook still says, gesturing for them to have their seats. “Should we go change our credits for a prize?” he tries to smoothly start another topic before they can get hung up on whatever just happened ten seconds ago.

“Yeah, I’ll just— I’ll go to the bathroom.” Taehyung gestures behind himself, already walking away. Jungkook blinks. The elder leaves, and he doesn’t even need to actually use the bathroom, he just needs to splash some water on his face. He can’t handle this.

He stands by the sink, splashing cold water on his face and eyes. Jungkook looks at him with those eyes, and Taehyung only gets flashbacks of those numbers appearing over his head. The day is soon coming to an end, and his anxiety is only getting worse when they’re not distracted by something. It’s already way past nine, but so much can still happen. He needs to calm the hell down before he starts crying.

His mind takes him back to the chairs. Jungkook licked his lips while looking at him that close They were so close. The tension was dense, and neither pulled back. Had they not been interrupted, what would he have done? What would Jungkook have done?

For a few minutes, he allowed himself to stop caring about the time, about protection, and almost lost control over the distance that he’s spent years forcing between them. All of that lost meaning once they got that close.

He splashes more water on his face, grunting.

It takes him a few minutes to pull himself together before he can walk back.

Jungkook’s standing by one of the machines, leaning against it with his phone in his hand and something cradled against his chest with his other arm. Taehyung squints, but he can’t see from that far, and it’s dark in there. “Hey.” he greets.

Jungkook immediately locks his phone and looks at him. “Hey.” he greets back, holding up what he was cradling: it’s a baby Yoda plushie. “I exchanged the credits…”

Taehyung’s eyes are wide, looking down at the stuffed toy. “You got me Yoda?”

“Yeah. I refuse to acknowledge that I’m contributing to your Star Wars collection of random bullshit, but that looked cute.” Jungkook shrugs. He doesn’t mention how the credits weren’t enough to cover the cost of the toy, and how he paid for the rest. There’s no need to mention that. He knows how much Taehyung likes those toys.

“Thank you, Jungkook.” Taehyung says, genuine, as he takes it into his own hands to inspect the toy. There’s a little chain hanging off the toy’s ear, and it has a small dog tag with the name of the arcade, and he carefully removes it. He hands it over.

“What’s this?” Jungkook takes it, inspecting the object.

“You spent all the credits on me, so… That’s a bracelet for you.” Taehyung shyly explains, and Jungkook looks between him and his palm. “I’ll— Hold on.” he holds the toy with his arm so that he can pick up the chain again, and Jungkook immediately offers his wrist after pulling his sleeve up. Taehyung twists it around his wrist twice so that it actually fits, and does his best to secure it; it seems safe enough.

His gloved fingers brush over the pale skin of Jungkook’s wrist, but neither reacts.

Jungkook swallows. He knows himself enough to know that he’s keeping it forever.

“I noticed something while you were gone.” he begins, looking back up. “Come.”

Taehyung follows him to one of the corners, and he understands what Jungkook wants when he spots a Photo Booth. “We’ve already taken a picture earlier.”

“That was a picture of you.” Jungkook argues, opening the curtain. “I want one with both of us. C’mon, go in. Don’t fight me on this.” he gestures, and Taehyung forces a sigh as he walks in. It’s cramped, they can barely both fit on the chair, but they make it work. Jungkook closes the curtain while Taehyung presses play to start the timer.

It starts counting down from five, and they just smile at the screen. Flash.

“Are we taking passport pictures, or what…”

In the second picture, Jungkook makes a stupid face, while Taehyung only laughs at him for doing that. For the third, he copies the stupid face so that they’re doing it together. It makes them both laugh once the flash goes off.

They face each other, to see what the other is going to do for the last picture, but once their eyes meet at such close proximity, they suddenly forget about it. The countdown, the picture, the pose. They’re just looking at each other with bright smiles and happiness making their eyes shine under the dim lights.

The flash shakes them out of it.

They lazily get out of the booth, wait for the machine to print out two strips with the four pictures. “Look.” Taehyung encourages, holding the first strip already printed while the second one is still on the way.

Jungkook walks closer, looking over his shoulder to see the pictures. Taehyung is acutely aware of their proximity. Jungkook can feel him tensing up, and their eyes meet once again. He notices Taehyung looking at his lips briefly, and then biting down on his own with a worried glint in his eyes. “Relax. I’m not going to kiss you.” Jungkook says.

“I know.” Taehyung answers a little too fast.

“You look scared.” Jungkook points out.

“I’m not scared of you.” his voice is quiet, and once again, his eyes fall to Jungkook’s lips before he can help it; the proximity is dangerous. Jungkook allows his own eyes to flicker down, too, but they look back up before Taehyung’s, so the latter doesn’t see it.

“You still look like you are…”

That does it; Taehyung looks back up. “I told you. I’m not.”

“Mhm. Right.” Jungkook has to be the sane one and pull back to grab his own photo strip, already printed and waiting in the machine. “Do you have a pen?” he asks, and the elder scrambles to grab one from his bag and hand it over alongside his pictures. “It still has better energy.” Jungkook comments, an innocent callback that makes Taehyung laugh once he realizes what he means by that. Jungkook smiles.

He watches as Jungkook writes down the date on their pictures, and adds the score under it. Jungkook One, Taehyung Zero, it says. “That’s false.”

“History is written by winners.” Jungkook shrugs as he puts the cap on the pen.

“You didn’t even win—”

“Blah, blah, blah…”

2 YEARS, 1 WEEK PRIOR

Taehyung works diligently on writing down his notes, doing his absolute best to ignore the continuous sound of Jungkook tapping his pen against the book that he’s reading. Tap, tap, tap. It’s annoying him to no end, but he’s trying to tune it out.

Jungkook’s eyes scan the room, bored out of his mind and with absolutely no will or disposition to study. He perks up once he spots the bouquet of flowers, now displayed in a proper vase instead of a protein shaker. “You bought a vase. A glass one, at that!”

“Apparently, I did.” Taehyung nods without even looking up.

“For my flowers.” Jungkook smiles.

“For… flowers in general.” he tries to dismiss it.

Jungkook gestures around to nothing in particular. “What other flowers exactly are there to put in it?” Taehyung looks up at him, shows him his tongue. “I’m impressed, you’re even managing to keep them alive. They still look good.”

“Well, you threatened me to.” Taehyung shrugs.

“I can see the trimmed stems… and there’s actual soil. You definitely searched how to keep them. I’m deeply touched.” Jungkook further teases him, placing a hand on his chest to intensify his emotional performance.

“You’re so annoying. Just focus.” Taehyung reaches for his book, taps it once to bring his attention back to it. Jungkook chuckles, but does try to resume his studies. He even tries to start writing down notes… but it lasts five seconds.

Instead, he bites down on the end of the pen, looking at the man sitting across from him on the table. “You know… I was surprised when you texted.” he carefully says.

“Why?” Taehyung looks up, confused.

“You know. To come over.” Jungkook tries to clarify, but it doesn’t help.

“We always study together, you buffoon.”

“Yeah, but, like… I always just show up. You texted.” it’s different, and he tries to convey how much; Taehyung gives him a little smile once he actually catches up.

“Are you complaining?” the elder teases.

“Absolutely fucking not.” Jungkook answers without wasting a second.

“And, for the record, you can ‘just show up’ whenever you want to. I expect you to, that’s why I never asked for the key back.” he assures, and Jungkook shows him a genuine smile before looking back down at his book to start working on his notes.

Taehyung lets his eyes remain on him for a moment. Jungkook’s sitting across from him instead of by his side, as he’d always sit, and he doesn’t… like it. Jungkook’s respecting the time and space that he asked for, and this is inherently what he wanted, but he couldn’t dislike it more. Earlier, he even asked Taehyung to reach him one of the books instead of leaning over to grab it himself. It’s respectful, it’s heartwarming.

It's also incredibly frustrating and heartbreaking.

Those shouldn’t be able to coexist.

Taehyung sighs to himself before continuing to write.

They manage to focus for almost half an hour, only interrupted by Jungkook asking anything regarding the mathematic exercises that he’s trying to solve.

Tap, tap, tap. The damn pen makes Taehyung look back at him, catching Jungkook looking around the room again instead of working. “Have you finished the whole sheet already?” he asks, reaching for it. “Wha— How the fuck did you only solve three questions this whole time? What have you been doing?”

“Listen. Quality over quantity.” Jungkook defends.

Taehyung raises a brow, actually reading over what’s written. “They’re wrong.”

“Quality is… subjective.”

That makes him laugh, head thrown back. “Just fucking focus properly, you know that stuff.” he hands the sheet back, laughing harder when Jungkook goes back to it with a frown, very reluctantly. He doesn’t want to study any longer — and he barely has done anything so far. He went there for company, not to actually read or study.

Taehyung goes back to his own exercises.

Tap, tap.

“Can you stop that?” Taehyung finally snaps.

“Stop what?” tap.

“You’re doing that on purpose.” he accuses with a bothered frown.

Jungkook smiles. “I’m sorry. You’re just really cute when you’re annoyed.” he admits his wrongdoings, hand inching to fix the hair that has fallen over Taehyung’s eyes, but his hand stops mid-air, and goes back down. God, Taehyung hates it.

Is this what it feels like when he stops himself from touching Jungkook?

“You’re being weird.” he points out before he can overthink it.

“I’m being weird?” Jungkook tilts his head. “I’ve barely done anything.”

“Exactly.” Taehyung mumbles, looking down.

And Jungkook gets it. He understands what Taehyung’s talking about, especially given that the comment came right after his aborted move to fix the elder’s hair. “I’m giving you time, just as you asked. I’m not pushing.” he quietly says, still smiling.

Taehyung only hums. He refuses to answer that.

Jungkook takes the sudden seriousness to actually study. He starts a new exercise, even if it lazily takes him about twenty minutes to work through. He has no motivation to study today, but after those words, silence is the best beat — for a little, at least.

Taehyung feels Jungkook trying to peek into his notes, notices how the light is suddenly covered over his paper as the younger leans across the table. “Just come here.”

“It’s fine, you can just turn it to me when you finish the ex—”

“Jungkook.” Taehyung interrupts. “Sit here.” Jungkook pauses, but he’s nowhere strong enough to deny it again. He stands up, walks around the table and sits down on the chair right by the elder’s side. The table isn’t that long, so their knees are touching even if through their jeans, and Taehyung doesn’t pull back this time.

He gulps when he feels it at first, almost leans away, but holds back. From what he knows, and it isn’t much, the dates only appear if he touches someone with the bare skin of his hands… so this should be fine. The gloves are on, and he’s not even wearing shorts, so it’s ok. It’s ok for their legs to be resting lazily against each other’s.

Maybe he can do this.

He sneaks a look from the corner of his eye, watching as Jungkook steals some of his notes for the exercises, and he feels something weirdly hopeful in his chest. Maybe he can keep Jungkook this close without seeing his date. He has the gloves. Hugging should be fine, sitting together is proving to be ok. Maybe they could even… do more.

Maybe he can actually try this without overthinking every second.

His attention shifts when Jungkook’s phone pings with a text, and he watches his every reaction as he reaches for it, reads the text, and smiles. “What is it?” he asks.

“My coach.” Jungkook types a quick reply, sets the phone back aside. “I’ll be allowed back on the next game. Fucking finally, I’m tired of the stupid fucking bench.”

“Are you sure that it’s fine to—” he stops when the younger looks at him. “Fine. You have to be very careful, though. You can’t hit your head again like that, that was awful.”

“I’ll be careful…” Jungkook assures. “Honestly, doesn’t the scar look good on me?”

Taehyung looks at it; it’s mostly gone by now, but he can tell that it’s going to leave a permanent reminder on his skin. Weirdly enough, it does look good on him. “It does, which is fucking weird. Your cheek scar is also kind of… hot.” he admits, loosely gesturing towards it. “But that’s not important. You can’t get another scar just to look good.”

Jungkook laughs. “I know.” he rests his chin on his palm, looking at Taehyung with an entertained glint in his eyes; the vase right behind the elder catches his attention again. “Do you like the roses?” he starts. “Or… did you keep them only because I bought them for you?” and, in all honesty, both answers would be satisfying for him.

“I would’ve thrown them away if I hated them.” Taehyung jokes.

Jungkook gasps. “That’s horrifying. You have no heart.”

Taehyung quietly laughs. “I love them. Nobody’s ever bought me flowers before.”

“Good.” the elder gives him a puzzled look, and Jungkook shrugs. “I get to be the first at something for you.” the sentence alone is enough to make Taehyung’s cheeks burn a cute shade of red that he tries to conceal by lowering his head while writing.

Instead of answering such a thing, and possibly embarrass himself by stuttering, he finds another topic. “Did you see how they’ve decorated everything for Valentine’s?”

“Yep, it looks so fucking ugly.” Jungkook complains. “Everything is fucking pink.”

“Quit being emo. It looks cute.” Taehyung defends. “You bought me pink roses just last week, what the fuck are you even complaining about, huh? You make no sense.”

“Everything is cute and romantic when I’m involved.” Taehyung merely hums.

Tap, tap.

“Jungkook, I swear to fucking God.” he looks up, holding his pen threateningly.

“I’m sorry!” Jungkook laughs. “You’re, like, really cute when you’re angry.”

“I’m not cute.” Taehyung frowns, annoyed. “Shut up.”

Jungkook’s smile shifts into a little smirk. “Make me.” he challenges.

“I will.” Taehyung says without missing a beat. It surprises both of them.

“How?” Jungkook’s voice drops a little.

Taehyung blinks. “How, what?”

“How are you going to make me?” and only then does Taehyung fully realize the implications of what he’s just said. It sounded too promising, and he’s not brave enough to go through with it; not when Jungkook’s looking at him with those eyes.

“I-I don’t know.” Taehyung tries, clears his throat after the stutter.

“You seemed pretty confident just two seconds ago.” Jungkook bravely points out, and the elder looks down, fiddles with his pen. Jungkook just watches him without moving an inch. He doesn’t move closer, doesn’t say anything else; he doesn’t want to come off as pushy, nor does he want to ruin the moment.

But then Taehyung looks up with determination in his eyes, and is the one leaning closer towards him. Jungkook’s breath gets caught in his throat, his eyes immediately falling to Taehyung’s lips. They’re so close, but he still doesn’t move forward. He desperately wants to snake a hand behind the elder’s head and just pull him until their lips meet in the middle, but he doesn’t. He can’t. He’s patient.

Taehyung licks his lips in anticipation, leaning even closer. Dangerously closer.

Jungkook breathes out. “If I kiss you… will you run from me?” he whispers.

Taehyung shakes his head. “No.” he whispers back.

The younger takes his time to study him, their eyes keep meeting and going back to each other’s mouths in a pattern that neither moves to break. “Do you promise?”

“I promise.” the answer is immediate.

Taehyung’s gloved hands grip his own knees under the table, while Jungkook keeps his own on the pen so that his resolve doesn’t break. He doesn’t want to ruin anything by reaching for the elder, by holding him when he knows that he shouldn’t.

Jungkook’s eyes flicker towards Taehyung’s glasses, already predicting how they’ll get in the middle of the kiss if it really happens, and Taehyung catches onto it. He quickly rids himself of the glasses, leaves them on the table instead.

And that’s confirmation. For Jungkook, that’s confirmation that he’s not alone in the moment, that he’s not reading the signs wrong. Taehyung’s there with him, and he wants it to happen just as much. “Your hand’s shaking. You’re nervous.” he whispers.

“So are you.” Taehyung immediately accuses, but Jungkook can’t answer because his thoughts abandon him altogether when the elder inches even closer. Their noses are touching now, and their eyes close. They can feel each other’s breaths on their lips, and they’re not pulling back. Taehyung isn’t backing away, and Jungkook can’t hold it anymore. He takes the initiative, starts moving to actually seal their lips.

The sound of Taehyung’s phone ringing startles them. They pull back.

Taehyung scrambles to find the device, a little out of it. “It’s— It’s my mom.”

“She has incredible timing.” Jungkook rubs his eyes. “Tell her that I said hi.”

“I’m not fucking picking up.” he ends the call, because he simply can’t imagine keeping his voice stable during an entire conversation after what just happened, and while Jungkook’s sitting right there, also blushing.

They rest back on their chairs, legs touching but hands tucked between their thighs as if processing the moment. Jungkook clears his throat. “Were you actually going to?”

“You were the one encouraging it.” Taehyung deflects.

“That’s not what I asked.” Jungkook looks at him.

Taehyung worries at his bottom lip. “And I didn’t move away.”

Jungkook nods. “That’s also not what I asked.”

The elder looks at him, too. “Yes.” he admits, voice quiet but honest. Jungkook smiles at that. It’s not a huge smile, but it’s a genuine one, almost relieved to hear him confirming something for once — confirming that it wasn’t just an imagination. And, after that, he just picks up his pen again. Taehyung blinks. He expected Jungkook to lean back towards him, for the moment to return. “What are you doing?” he asks.

“Studying.”

“You’re seriously going to study now?”

“You asked me to give you time…” Jungkook explains, tone soft. “I’m not pushing my luck.” Taehyung huffs, frustrated, but picks up his pencil, too, so that he doesn’t end up embarrassing himself by asking for that lost kiss. “I, uhm… I was going to ask you out on Valentine’s Day. I had planned it, since it’s in a few days.” he begins. “I won’t anymore, since you asked for space, but— but I thought that you should know that I had the intention to do so. You deserve to know that.”

Taehyung gapes. “Ask me.”

Jungkook blinks at the paper, looks up. “What?”

“On Valentine’s.” he clarifies.

“You’re serious?” Jungkook’s eyes widen. “Tae.” he breathes out.

Taehyung smiles. “Yes, Jungkook. I’m serious.” he almost laughs when Jungkook opens and closes his mouth three times. “Wow. I can’t believe it. You don’t know what to say for once, I finally left you fucking speechless.” he teases.

“Oh, I have plenty of things to say.”

“Go on.”

Jungkook frowns. “No.” Taehyung laughs at the blush blooming high on the younger’s cheeks. He can tell that Jungkook’s genuinely shy about it. He’s always the one taking the initiative and saying bold things, so to hear it for once… sends things off track.

Taehyung smiles, reaching up to fix the collar of Jungkook’s shirt. His gloved hand lightly grazes the skin of his throat, which makes his fingers twitch for a brief second, still reacting to touch like it scares him — because it does.

And Jungkook… is just stunned.

The elder bites down on his lip, entertained, and attempts to return to his study.

Tap, tap.

“If you tap that pen one more time, I’m taking back Valentine’s.” he threatens, and it’s followed by the sound of the pen being thrown somewhere across the room.

“I don’t even have a pen.” Jungkook crosses his arms. “You’re hallucinating.”

“You’re… so embarrassing.” Taehyung points.

“You’ll say yes?” he says, bringing Taehyung back. “On Valentine’s.”

“I told you to ask me, didn’t I?” the elder shrugs.

“Tae. Answer the question.” Jungkook presses. “Please.”

Taehyung looks at him for a moment, smiles. “I’ll say yes, Kook.”

Jungkook’s lips stretch into an immediate smile. “Okay.”

10:15 PM, PRESENT

They leave the arcade with laughter still dying down, their shoulders feeling impossibly lighter and a sense of comfort set in their chests. They’re happy, they’re relaxed, and they’re enjoying the night. Properly now.

They walk for even less than two minutes before agreeing to sit down on the closest park. It’s late, and they’ve been walking the whole day: they’re tired. Both mentally and physically, so sitting down for a while is the best option.

“Do you want a coffee?” Jungkook asks, eyeing the coffee truck parked nearby. “I’m going to get myself one, do you want anything?” Taehyung only nods with a little smile, looking at him endearingly. “Same thing as earlier?” he checks.

“Yes, please.” Taehyung nods again.

“Alright, go sit. I’ll go grab them.” Jungkook gestures towards one of the benches, already turning on his heels to walk again. Taehyung walks with a skip in his step, sits down with his body still turned towards Jungkook. He can’t let his guard down, can’t possibly risk anything happening when they’ve made it so far into the day already.

He watches as Jungkook orders their coffees, pays for them, and stands there with his phone in his hand while waiting for the drinks. Taehyung allows himself to look down for a moment; he grabs his Photo Booth strip from his pocket to look at it again. The first three look fun, they bring an easy smile to his lips, but the fourth one… The fourth one gives him butterflies. He feels silly again, feels two years younger while looking at it.

In the picture, they’re looking at each other with large smiles on their faces, and they just look so unbearably happy — Taehyung swears that he can even see a faint blush on their cheeks, but it could also be his mind making things up. He doesn’t even realize that his thumb is softly stroking Jungkook’s cheek on the printed picture.

His phone lights up on his side, and he glances at it, only to physically flinch as he processes the time. Fifteen minutes past ten already. Less than two hours until midnight.

“Here.” he looks up when a cup of coffee comes into his line of view, blocking the pictures that he was looking at; he notices the bracelet hanging around Jungkook’s wrist, and he almost smiles at how dumb it is… and Jungkook kept it.

“Thank you.” Taehyung puts the pictures down on the bench by his side to accept the coffee. He uses the cup to warm both of his palms, sighing.

“They didn’t have lactose-free milk, so I asked for oat milk… just a bit.” Jungkook explains as he sits down by his side, still with a little distance between them so as to respect Taehyung’s space and wishes. “If you don’t like it, you can have my americano.”

“Oat milk is fine, thank you.” Taehyung offers him a little smile before taking a sip from the drink. It’s hot, it has the right amount of milk, and it tastes amazing.

Jungkook takes a sip from his own, letting his eyes fall down to the elder’s hands that were holding the pictures just a few seconds ago. Then, he looks back up. “I saw you looking at them.” he says, mindlessly gesturing towards the pictures.

Taehyung shrugs. “We look cute.” is what he says.

“We’ve always looked cute together.” Jungkook comments as he reaches across from him to pick the strip up, and carefully examines the photos again. Taehyung leans a little closer to be able to see, too. “Do you like this one?” he softly asks, his thumb tapping the fourth picture: the one in which they’re looking at each other.

“It’s my favorite one.” Taehyung smiles. “They all look good… but that one is gold.”

“Are you keeping them?” he asks, almost hesitantly.

Taehyung gives him an offended look. “Of course.”

Jungkook’s lips stretch into a smile that is so his that Taehyung feels his insides turning into liquid mush. The younger man puts the pictures down to take another sip from his coffee, allowing the silence to settle between them for a moment.

Then, he clears his throat. “Earlier, you said that you kept all of our pictures. Was that true?” Jungkook asks, tone quiet. Taehyung nods. “Did you ever look at them?”

“Sometimes.” Jungkook looks at him; Taehyung sighs. “More than sometimes.”

“How much more?”

Taehyung scoffs. “Do you need statistics?”

Jungkook nods. “Yes.”

“So annoying…” the elder mumbles to himself. “Way more than sometimes. More than I should’ve, that’s for sure.” he decides to answer truthfully for once.

“Did you…” Jungkook’s voice slowly dies down as he thinks of what else to ask, how to word himself, and Taehyung can almost see the live debate behind his eyes. “Did you think about me? During these two years apart…?” is what he goes with, and he’s already considering the next question as he assumes that Taehyung is going to avoid this one.

Taehyung considers lying. It’s easier, it has no follow-up questions, and it frees him from the possibility of getting vulnerable… but they have two hours until the day ends, and he quickly finds that he doesn’t want to spend that time lying to Jungkook.

So, “Every day.”

Jungkook’s head twitches, looking at him with a little frown. “Every day?” he parrots, because there’s no way that he actually heard that right.

Taehyung nods. “Every day.”

“You— Seriously? Even after all this time?” again, he nods. “That’s fucking cruel.”

“Me thinking about you?” Taehyung has to clarify.

Jungkook shakes his head with a humorless chuckle. “Me spending two years convincing myself that you didn’t.” the words hit something deep within Taehyung’s chest, and he has to look down to avoid eye contact. “At least I feel less like a loser now for doing the same.” the footballer adds with another quiet laugh; unbelieving.

The words hang heavy in the air, and there’s a newfound tension surrounding them. It’s not awkward, it’s not uncomfortable… it’s merely filled with questions and uncertainty, and Jungkook can’t handle that anymore. He needs to ask. Everything.

“I muted you on social media.” Jungkook reveals after a few seconds in silence, looking at the elder from the corner of his eyes; it’s enough to see Taehyung’s face falling instantly. “Not because I didn’t care, but—” he sighs. “Every time that you showed up, I’d spend the rest of the day fucking thinking about you, or trying not to cry and run back to your dorm like a fucking loser. I had to mute you. I still have you muted everywhere.”

Taehyung gulps, eyes on his cup that he keeps twirling between his palms as some sort of distraction. “I almost texted you on your birthday.” he reveals. “Both of them.”

Jungkook pauses. “My birthday was… only two weeks ago.”

“Yeah. Happy belated birthday, by the way.” Taehyung says with a defeated smile that grows even more uncertain when Jungkook looks at him. And Jungkook has a frown between his eyebrows, because he didn’t expect to walk out at the end of the day with his conscience a little lighter: he’s not that much of an idiot for still thinking about them.

“I waited for you on the first one.” he admits.

Taehyung feels his heart caving in his chest. “All day?”

Jungkook scoffs. “I’m not that pathetic. Only until midnight.” the last word makes the elder’s hold on his cup tighten a little. God, he hates remembering that. The time.

“Kook—”

“It’s fine.”

“I wrote the message.” Taehyung tries. “I really did.”

Jungkook puckers his lips, nodding a little. “What did it say?”

“It said ‘happy birthday’.” the elder shares, and Jungkook blinks, waiting for him to go on and elaborate, only to end up laughing when nothing else comes. “What—?”

“That’s fucking groundbreaking. Thank God, you didn’t send that. It would’ve wrecked my world completely.” Jungkook teases as he rests his back on the bench, sitting more comfortably; the conversation is going well, he’s not so tense anymore.

Taehyung laughs, too, albeit quietly. “Stop… I kept writing more, and more, and deleting only to write it again, and— At the end it wasn’t even a ‘happy birthday’ text anymore, so I just… deleted it all, and went to bed.” he sighs. “I wrote you many times, but never had the courage to send them. I wrote every time that my mom asked about you, whenever I saw a Doberman, I took a picture to send but never did… Whenever I won a game— or heard that you had won a game. I always wrote something, but deleted it every single fucking time, like a coward.” the elder goes on, gesturing mindlessly with one of his hands between them. “I wanted to text, like, every day.”

“Then we’re both cowards.” Jungkook confesses, voice barely above a whisper. “I had your contact open to either call or text, all the fucking time. More so recently than at the start, even. Back then I was so fucking— angry…” he tilts his head. “Whenever I saw something Star Wars themed, or every time that I received a good grade… When someone reminded me of one of our private jokes. It’s fucking pathetic.”

“We’re pathetic, I think.”

“Well, I had good reasons not to reach out.” Jungkook sighs. “Why didn’t you call?”

“I wanted to.” Taehyung breathes out. “So many times.”

“That’s not what I asked. Why didn’t you call?” Jungkook presses.

“I was afraid.” the elder says, gulps.

“Of…?”

Taehyung looks at him. “Of hearing you answer.” his voice sounds almost afraid of where the conversation is headed, but he knows that Jungkook deserves the answers that he’s looking for. “I knew that I’d want to keep talking… and I couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t, or wouldn’t?” Jungkook questions. Taehyung only looks back down to his cup, before he takes a sip. The silence is enough, it carries guilt. Besides, he has that characteristic look on his face that usually means that he won’t answer, so Jungkook goes on. “I would’ve answered.” he states; honest.

“I know.” Taehyung nods.

“Every time.”

“I know.” he closes his eyes, the frown on his face almost painful. “You should hate me so fucking much, Jungkook.” his voice comes out barely above a whisper now.

Jungkook almost laughs. “I tried, believe me.”

Taehyung immediately looks at him. “Did it work?”

“Would I be here if it did?” Jungkook shrugs, smile guilty as their eyes meet once again, and Taehyung nods at that, accepting the answer. Jungkook’s smile slowly slips away as he allows himself to use the silence as an opportunity to start piecing everything together. All the little and not-so-little things that he’s gathered throughout the day.

Then, he shakes his head before running a hand through his hair. “This doesn’t make sense.” he finally voices his thoughts, and he sounds almost dejected. “Seriously.”

Taehyung gulps. “What doesn’t?”

“You.” Jungkook chuckles, gesturing towards him. “You didn’t forget a single fucking detail about me, it’s like you know more than I do myself. You didn’t delete our pictures, and you look at them regularly. You say that you’ve wanted to call, you say that you think about me every fucking day. Earlier—”

“Kook—”

“—you said that you regret walking out. You gave me this— stupid bracelet that is weirdly really cute. You described today. When we were talking about what a perfect day would be, you fucking described today. I also pretended not to, but I caught that slip-up when you suggested that I should teach you how to swim so that we can go scuba-diving together someday. So, Taehyung, just answer one thing. And I don’t want your half-answers, nor will I accept an ‘I was scared’ unless you plan on explaining exactly what you were fucking scared of.” Jungkook rants as he sits properly again, facing Taehyung with a pointed look; the latter only stares at him. “Deal?”

“Jungkook, I—”

“One question. I’m not asking for much. Just answer one fucking question.”

Taehyung nods. “Okay.” he whispers.

Jungkook breathes in. “Why did you leave me?”

2 YEARS, 3 DAYS PRIOR

Taehyung lies in bed with his eyes closed and a pillow brought tightly against his chest in a futile attempt to comfort himself. He’s been in the same position for hours now, but his anxiety has reached a level where he can’t even fall asleep. If he could, at least he wouldn’t have to think about anything; he can almost hear his heartbeat.

His eyes open when his phone pings with a text, and he picks it up almost on reflex.

It’s Jungkook. Again.

His thumb lazily scrolls over all the messages sent just today: eleven, to be precise.

Jungkook sent a good morning, asked him how he’s doing, and whether they’re still going out as they promised. He asked if he was busy, asked if he’s being ignored. Then even sent crying emojis, and answered himself saying that Taehyung might be busy.

Taehyung has to lock the phone again, puts it down before hiding his face.

It’s Valentine’s Day, and he’s hiding in his room with dried tears on his face.

Just a few days ago, he almost kissed Jungkook. It wasn’t a matter of ‘what if’, it was really going to happen, and in that moment, he didn’t care about anything. In that moment, he rationalized everything in a way that was convincing enough to allow him to lean closer and almost seal their lips — almost reach out to hold Jungkook.

Now, with no adrenaline coursing through his veins, he’s spiraling. Badly.

What happens when he forgets the gloves? What happens if they actually start dating and, sooner or later, Jungkook reaches for him in bed? What happens when they want to be intimate? How can he possibly keep the gloves on if the rest of their bodies are naked? That would be even harder to justify.

And, really, what happens if he ends up seeing the date?

When he ends up seeing it. Not if.

How could he be stupid to the point of thinking that he can make it work?

There’s a knock on the door, and he gulps. “Tae…? Are you there?” Jungkook’s voice comes from the outside, and Taehyung wants the floor to open and swallow him whole at once. “I can see light under the door. Please, open…?”

Taehyung gets up from the bed, wipes his face furiously before sliding the gloves on his hands. He walks over to the door, breathes in and out a couple of times to gather his courage; then, he opens the door. Jungkook’s standing there with a little pink box and a plastic bag on the other hand, and he’s dressed nicely.

He’s wearing one of the shirts that Taehyung has complimented a thousand times because it enhances his chest just right. His pants are loose, comfortable, and his black hair is parted in the middle and perfectly styled. He smells incredibly nice, too.

Taehyung’s heart sinks.

Jungkook’s smile slowly falters at the lack of a reaction. “Hi…?”

“Hi.” Taehyung whispers.

Jungkook waits to be allowed in, but Taehyung doesn’t move, so he’s the one to awkwardly gesture towards the dorm. “Can I come in?” he finds the need to ask.

“Ah— Yes.” Taehyung nods, stepping aside. Jungkook removes his shoes by the door, leaving them neatly against the wall. His eyes scan the room, lingering on the flowers still in the same vase. They’re still alive, but some of the petals have already fallen, and the remaining ones are much darker in color by now.

“I brought chicken from that store that you like.” Jungkook says, setting the bag and the little box on the table. “I thought that we could eat, then go somewhere.” he tries to sound casual, as if he doesn’t have the whole day mapped out in his head already.

“You didn’t have to.” Taehyung gulps, standing awkwardly by the table.

“I wanted to.” Jungkook shrugs. “Are you… going to sit?”

Taehyung shakes his head. “I’m not hungry.”

Jungkook’s smile falls. “Why?”

“I’m just not.” Taehyung still sits down, across from him rather than by his side, hands neatly tucked between his thighs in another attempt of comforting himself.

Jungkook stares at him in silence, letting his eyes study Taehyung and his body language, how rigid he looks and the redness to his eyes. He gulps, before he starts removing the contents of the bag and placing them on the table. “You ignored me all day.” he decides to say, using the containers to avoid eye contact for a moment.

“I was busy.” Taehyung lies, voice thin.

The footballer laughs quietly, but there’s no humor behind it. “No, you weren’t. You didn’t have practice today, and you missed your classes. I asked some people.” he looks up, shoulders sagging a little. “And you were reading my texts, so… you ignored them.”

“How would you know that?” he tries.

“Because it says ‘read’ at the bottom, genius.” Jungkook teases. His smile, even if present, doesn’t hold the same spark as usually; it’s a sad smile, confused… frustrated. “I thought that you were just freaking out, or something.” he admits.

“Freaking out about what…?” Taehyung sulks even harder, trying to appear smaller and, perhaps, disappear within his own frame. He doesn’t want to be there.

Jungkook pauses for a few seconds. “Are you serious?” he lets out before he can formulate better thoughts. “It’s fine if you’re nervous, Tae. I’m nervous, too. We don’t have to do anything different today, we can just… eat. We can hang out, watch something on the couch. I can ask later, it’s totally f—”

“Don’t.” Taehyung interrupts.

“Don’t what?”

Taehyung can’t look at him. “I don’t know. Don’t ask.”

Jungkook feels something break in him. “What…?” he gapes, waiting for the elder to laugh or say that it’s a prank, but all that he sees, sitting across from him, is Taehyung looking incredibly guilty and upset. “Tae, you told me to. You literally told me to ask you today.” he straightens up, confused and growing angry. “You promised to say yes.”

Taehyung closes his eyes, shakes his head. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Which part? Which part shouldn’t you have said? That I should ask you today, or that I should wait for you? Or that you fucking want me here? Which part wasn’t supposed to be said? You fucking need to be more specific here.” Jungkook presses, and he can see Taehyung’s frame shrinking with each word that he says; he can hear himself, and how upset he sounds, and he hates it. He hates getting angry, it doesn’t feel like him.

Taehyung makes the mistake of opening his eyes. Red, tears threatening to form.

Jungkook has to rub his own eyes, breathes in. “Okay.” he tells himself in a way to self-regulate his emotions. “This is fine. Okay. No date, let’s just be us today.”

“Jung—”

“No, seriously. Forget the date.” Jungkook pushes the pink box aside. “You said that you need time and space, so let’s just— take more time. I can’t care, I’ll wait. We can just be us today, and for as long as you need us to just be this.” he assures.

“We can’t, Jungkook.” Taehyung’s voice breaks alongside his heart. “We can’t do this anymore. We can’t, it’s— We can’t continue.” he gestures helplessly between them.

“Can’t continue what? Being friends?” Jungkook’s eyes widen when Taehyung doesn’t answer. “Tae. Don’t.” his own voice fails him this time. “Are you— Are you seriously ending our friendship just like that? Out of nowhere?”

“I don’t know…”

“Stop saying that you don’t know when you’re the one making these decisions between us lately.” Jungkook snaps, voice a little louder, and he despises it. He’s never yelled at anyone in his life, and Taehyung is the last person who he expected it to happen with. “What did I do? Did I say something, or do something that made you uncomfortable? Was I too direct?” he immediately tries to understand.

Taehyung lets out a shaky breath. “Stop. Please.”

“Something happened. Either that, or it’s just me. Is it— me?” Jungkook tries.

“No. It’s not you.” the answer is immediate, which only confuses him more.

Jungkook lets out a frustrated laugh, hand already tugging on his hair. “Four days ago, you almost kissed me, told me that you wouldn’t run from me. You looked me in the eyes and promised me a ‘yes’ today.” Taehyung closes his eyes. “So, what the fuck is this?”

Taehyung looks at the floor when Jungkook stands up.

And Jungkook’s pacing now, stressed, hands shaking. “I won’t ask again. I won’t flirt with you again. I-I’ll stop trying to touch you if that’s what you want. I’ll stop asking what’s wrong, I’ll stop— trying to understand what’s going on. I’ll do whatever you ask me to, but don’t fucking disappear from my life. Please, Taehyung.” he begs.

Taehyung has to bite down on his bottom lip to keep himself from taking back everything that he’s said, to avoid screaming a ‘yes’ and a thousand apologies. He can’t accept that deal, he can’t agree to it. They can’t be friends, they can’t remain close. He can’t bear it himself, and he can’t keep pulling and pushing Jungkook. It’s not fair.

It’s what’s best for both of them, Taehyung believes.

It breaks his heart, hearing Jungkook so willing to put his own feelings aside for him, just for the sake of remaining friends. He wishes things were different.

“No, Jungkook.” he finally speaks. “I can’t be around you anymore.”

“What?” Jungkook’s voice breaks, and their eyes well up. Taehyung can’t handle hearing him like that, and Jungkook can no longer handle that situation. “W-What’s so wrong about me that you can’t even by my friend…?”

“Nothing.” Taehyung immediately answers, looking up. “Nothing. I don’t know—”

“Stop fucking saying that!” Jungkook screams, throwing his hands in the air in pure exasperation. Taehyung flinches back into the chair. He’s never seen Jungkook genuinely angry, never heard him sound like this: angry, sad… broken. “Why the fuck are you crying when you’re the one deciding this? Do you even— want this to happen?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want.” he whispers.

“It matters to me.” Jungkook counters.

“Please. You’re making this harder.”

“I’m making this harder? I came here with a fucking Valentine’s Day gift because you told me to, I planned our date because you promised to accept one, and now apparently none of that was supposed to mean anything? But I’m the one making things hard? I’m the wrong one here?” Jungkook chuckles, pure rage and heartbreak behind it.

Taehyung stands up. “I need you to go.” he barely manages to say.

“For tonight?” Jungkook tries; Taehyung shakes his head. “For how long?”

“I don’t know.”

A tear rolls down Jungkook’s cheek, and Taehyung has to close his fists so that he doesn’t immediately reach out to wipe it away. “Of course, you don’t.” he turns on his heels to walk towards the door, and puts his shoes on without even bothering to undo the laces properly. He wants to get out of there as fast as possible.

Jungkook looks over at the table, at the gift, but he doesn’t go over to pick it up.

He bought it, he meant to offer it. If Taehyung ever cares to open it, it’s his.

His eyes drift back to Taehyung once again, and the elder is just standing there with active tears rolling down his cheeks. Jungkook doesn’t understand it. Doesn’t understand anything at all, and he’s starting to accept that, maybe, he simply never will.

He sniffs, shakes his head, and walks out without another word.

Taehyung jogs to the door as soon as it closes, desperation settling in him seeing the younger man really out of his reach. His hand grabs the door handle, and he’s starting to turn it so that he can open the door again and yell after Jungkook to come back, but he makes the mistake of looking down at his hand. His gloved hand.

He can’t. He can’t open it.

He rests his forehead against the door, and he can hear a little sniff right there that tells him that Jungkook is also standing right on the other side. His hand grips the handle impossibly tighter at the prospect of Jungkook waiting for him to regret it, to call him.

When thirty seconds pass and Taehyung doesn’t open the door, he hears Jungkook’s hard boots striking the floorboards, steps coming less and less audible as he walks away from his dorm room. Taehyung feels the lump in his throat suffocating him.

He turns around, his back now against the door, and his eyes catch on the gift left on the table, followed by the flowers in the vase that he bought for them. A petal falls.

Taehyung falls down with it, back sliding down on the door until he’s sitting with his knees against his chest, and he breaks down. His tears flow freely now, and he doesn’t even try to stop them. Jungkook walked out. Jungkook left.

11:00 PM, PRESENT

“Why did you leave me?” Jungkook asks. Taehyung immediately looks down at his hands, mind beginning to spiral. How is he meant to explain all of it without sounding clinically insane? “And you’re not getting out of this one by staying silent, Taehyung.”

Taehyung breathes in and out. “You’re going to think that I’m insane.”

Jungkook lets out a quiet, exasperated laugh with absolutely no humor behind it, turning towards him. “You’ve been stalking me since eight in the morning. The bar is already pretty fucking high, so just— Try me. Go ahead, start explaining.”

The elder sets the cup aside, eyes still on his hands, now open and facing up. “Do you remember when I started using these…?” is what he uses to begin, flexing his fingers once. Jungkook follows his gaze to the gloves, eyebrows furrowing on their own.

“How could I not?” really, how he not? He’s hated them for years now.

Taehyung opens his mouth, only to close it again without letting a sound out. Then, again; three times that he aborts his speech before it even begins, and Jungkook’s slowly but surely growing impatient. He’s waited for too long for the truth.

“Tae.” Jungkook calls, grounding. “Just say it.”

Taehyung looks up to meet his eyes. “I don’t know how.”

“Start somewhere.” he presses. “What about the gloves?”

“I…” he looks back down, anxiously pulling at one of the gloves without actually removing it; Jungkook’s eyes remain on his face. “They’re not here to help with any sort of skin condition. I don’t wear them because of my skin. That was a lie.”

Jungkook’s silent for a few seconds. “Okay…”

“There was nothing wrong with my hands. Well, not physically.” Taehyung gulps, closing his eyes for a moment to gather his courage. “When my bare hands touch someone’s skin, I— Uhm, I see… something.” and now there’s no way out.

“See what?”

Taehyung’s mouth opens and closes a few times. “I see a… date.”

Jungkook frowns, confused. “A date for what—?”

The elder briefly looks at him, but Jungkook’s eyes are so intense and focused that he has to look away again. “The first time that it happened, I had no idea.” he begins, and Jungkook can see him gulp. “It happened with one of my mom’s patients. I touched her hand, and I could see some weird numbers trying to form on top of her head. It showed me a date for the following day.” he gestures vaguely.

“Above her head…?” Jungkook tries to follow.

Taehyung nods. There’s a pause. “She… Uhm, she died. The next day.”

With that, Jungkook has half a second where his entire body freezes. “On the date.”

“On the date.” Taehyung’s voice wavers. “I thought that it was a coincidence, or that I was fucking losing my mind, so I… tested it. I started putting it to the test.”

“You tested it? On people?” he sounds mildly disturbed.

“My mom works in hospice, remember? I needed to know. I needed to understand whether it was just a coincidence, or if that was what the numbers meant. I noted down a bunch of dates, and— fuck.” Taehyung rubs his eyes. “I know that some rare people have gifts, but I’d never think that— I just thought that I was losing it.”

“Hold on.” Jungkook sets his coffee down. “What did you conclude from the tests?”

“Not one date was wrong.” Taehyung looks at him. “I desperately wanted at least one to be, to prove me that maybe that wasn’t it, but they were all right…”

Jungkook stares at him for a second too long before letting out an ugly little laugh, mind barely managing to keep up. “Are you fucking with me?” but Taehyung only shakes his head. “That’s insane, Taehyung, what? You touch someone and see when they die?”

“I… Yes.” he whispers.

“And— And you’re telling me that every person that you checked, died on it?”

“Yeah.” Taehyung’s voice breaks again, and his eyes well up instantly.

Jungkook looks beyond horrified now. There’s no way for him to doubt what he’s hearing when Taehyung looks so incredibly terrified of what he’s saying. He’s always been skeptical, but seeing the elder like this… there’s no way for him to discredit it.

“Since when…?” is what he goes with next; he needs to fully understand.

“Before I left.” Taehyung whispers. “That time that I had that week-long migraine, I’m sure that you remember it. I was developing this shit. That’s why it hurt so badly.”

Jungkook’s mouth opens, shocked, but nothing comes out. He stands up from the bench, and Taehyung doesn’t have it in himself to call him back to sit down. He understands that Jungkook’s mind must be racing, struggling to piece the information together and link it with his memories, so he just lets him walk away.

But that ends up being only three stressed steps away before Jungkook comes back and stands right in front of him. “That’s why.” he states, realization in his voice. Taehyung looks up at him. “That’s why you stopped touching me, isn’t it?” the elder opens his mouth to answer, but Jungkook goes on before he can. “The couch. The popcorn, the pens, my— my hair. Every time that I tried to hug you, or touch you in any way, and you pulled back. You weren’t fucking sick, you weren’t in bad health.”

Taehyung shakes his head. “No, I w—”

“At the match.” Jungkook points at him almost accusingly. “When I got hurt. You ran to me like I had been fucking shot. And— And I remember your hands just… hovering over my face. You wanted to touch me then.” he recalls, the fragments starting to come to him in a different perspective now. There’s more to what he remembers now.

Taehyung’s eyes fill up with tears once again. “Yes. I needed to make sure that it wasn’t that day. You were on the floor, unmoving, and I had a way of knowing…”

“Then I got up. So, you didn’t.”

“Yeah.”

Jungkook steps away again, a shaky hand running through his hair only to anxiously tug on it at the end. “That’s why you’d touch me through the gloves sometimes, but never without them. That’s why you always put them on whenever I visited, but weren’t even wearing them when you were alone. Fucking God, that’s why you pulled away from me when I wasn’t even touching your fucking hands.”

“That part was me.” he quietly admits; Jungkook faces him. “At first I was afraid of touching you with my hands… Then I started being afraid of getting close enough to forget.” Taehyung tries to explain without looking at him, voice shaky.

Jungkook drops the hand from his hair. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks.

“Because I was scared…”

“You keep fucking saying that.” Jungkook stresses, throwing his hands in the air with another frustrated chuckle. “Scared of what, Taehyung? Of what?!”

“Of you asking me to touch you anyway.” Jungkook halts. “Of you telling me that we’d figure it out. Of you saying that you didn’t care, and that I’d fucking believe you because I’d desperately want to. Scared of— of eventually touching you and seeing your date. Of the fact that you’d want to stay anyway.” Taehyung answers as honestly as he can, his expression showing just how distraught he is by what he’s saying.

Jungkook gulps. “I would’ve said that.”

“I know.” Taehyung sniffs. “I was terrified of that. For you, and for myself.”

Jungkook looks away for a second, before facing him again. “Did anybody know?”

“Only Jimin.” Taehyung admits.

The look of pure hurt that replaces Jungkook’s expression breaks Taehyung’s heart all over again. “You told Jimin.” and it’s not a question, more so said to himself.

“I didn’t talk to him about you.” Taehyung shakes his head. “But I told him about this shit, I didn’t know what to do about it… and he was the one suggesting the gloves.”

“But you could tell him, and not me.”

“I was more afraid of telling you.” there’s no reason to lie anymore.

Jungkook sniffs. “So… You knew. When I’m going to die.”

“No.” Taehyung avoids his eyes again. “I never touched you after it started.”

Given that he’s not looking up, he misses the way that Jungkook’s confusion shifts into visible anger. “What?” he almost spits out; Taehyung shudders. “You didn’t even fucking know? You destroyed us for a date that you hadn’t even fucking seen?”

“Yes.” again, there’s no reason to lie now. “Every time that you got close, and I thought that, maybe, I could make it work… I’d fucking panic, Kook.” he finally meets his eyes again. “I was terrified of what I’d see. Tomorrow. Next day. Fifty years. I couldn’t live inside that question anymore, so—”

“So, instead, you made me live inside one myself.” Jungkook cuts him off; Taehyung closes his mouth. “You couldn’t stand not knowing when I’d die, so you left me for years not knowing why you stopped wanting me. Why I was suddenly so repulsive to you.”

“Don’t say that.” Taehyung whispers.

“It’s the fucking truth.”

“I thought that if I stayed and eventually saw it, I’d spend every moment with you just waiting for the date like a countdown. I’d stop letting you live because I’d be too busy trying to keep you alive. I wouldn’t be living with you, I’d be in a constant state of survival.” Taehyung tries to explain, and he sees realization dawn on Jungkook’s face.

“That’s… That’s what you’ve been doing all day…” he says, very slowly.

Taehyung nods. “I—”

“Wait.” Jungkook straightens up, looking at Taehyung with wide eyes; his gaze drops to the gloves, and then back up. “You touched me this morning. In the locker room.” he recalls, and an immediate tear rolls down Taehyung’s cheek. “You saw it.” he whispers, more to himself than anything. “You know when I die.”

“Yes.” his voice barely comes out.

“When?”

“Kook—”

“When?” he insists, voice a little sterner, though worried.

Taehyung feels himself struggle to breathe. “Today.”

Jungkook stares. One second, two… three. “Today.” he repeats, pulling his phone from the pocket of his jeans to check the time. “Today, as in… before midnight?”

“That’s what the date says…” Taehyung has to grip his own knees to stop his hands from shaking. He didn’t think that the day would end up like this. He can’t sit still.

“Does it show a time?” Jungkook asks, and he only shakes his head. Jungkook lets out a weird laugh, a mixture of confusion and disbelief. “So, I have less than an hour and you don’t even know when it’s going to happen?” he finds himself asking.

“I don’t. No.”

Jungkook looks around, his eyebrows furrowed. The road meters away from them, people walking close but not enough to hear them. The coffee truck, cars. He looks down at his own hands, flexes his fingers. Everything looks scary now, and he doesn’t even know what he’s supposed to think or do with such information.

“You kept saying ‘the date’ this morning. You meant this, right?” Taehyung looks back up, frame shrinking. “That’s why you followed me. That’s why you wouldn’t let me leave campus, and— and why you kept putting yourself between me and traffic. That’s why you wouldn’t let me walk ahead of you. And the car. You freaked out, because… you thought that, maybe, that would’ve been it.” Jungkook speaks, slowly, as if processing in real-time by saying it aloud for it to make more sense.

Taehyung remains quiet.

“That’s why you got so angry over my jokes about dying, that’s why— What the actual fucking fuck, Taehyung.” he stresses, sits back down. “What was the damn plan?”

“I didn’t have one.” Taehyung lightly shrugs, wiping a new tear when it escapes his left eye. “I thought that if I stayed close enough, maybe… maybe I could stop whatever happened. If you crossed a street, I could pull you back. If you tripped, I’d just catch you before you could fall. If— I don’t know. I had to fucking try, at least. I’d try everything.”

Jungkook looks around them again, as if searching for words. “If you hadn’t seen the date this morning… would you have talked to me today?”

Taehyung stops. Jungkook sees it happen. “No…”

Jungkook lets out a shuddering breath. “Of course.”

“That doesn’t make today fake.”

“I didn’t say that. It wouldn’t have happened, though.” he chuckles, bitter.

Taehyung turns to him. “I went after you because I saw the date. I kept wanting you to stay because you’re you, and I’m me, and I can’t help it when it comes to you. I want you next to me, all the time. At some point, I stopped thinking about keeping you alive, I just… I just wanted you there.” he admits, tone almost guilty.

Jungkook tilts his head. “So… Let me understand.” Taehyung immediately looks down at his lap. “Two years ago, you left because you were afraid that you might eventually find out when I die. For that, you got fucking rid of me. Today, you found out, so… I’m suddenly allowed back in.” he words it in the absolute worst way possible.

“That’s not—”

“Is it not?!”

“I thought that I was protecting us.” Taehyung stresses.

“No. You were protecting yourself from knowing. You destroyed us. Don’t use protecting me as a prettier way of saying that you broke my heart to keep yourself from finding out the truth.” Jungkook spits as he stands up once again. “If you had touched me back then and seen today’s date, we could’ve had two whole years, Taehyung.”

“I know.”

“I don’t think that you fucking do!” Jungkook’s voice goes up an octave. “And what if it wasn’t today? What if it said forty years from now? Sixty? You threw away every fucking version because you were afraid of the worst one. You were apparently so afraid of losing me that you made sure of it. You made the decision for me. You decided that I’d rather lose you than know the truth. You never even fucking asked me!”

“I knew what you’d say.” Taehyung says, frustrated. “I knew you’d choose me.”

Jungkook chuckles, humorless. “And that scared you?”

“More than anything.”

“Well, then why didn’t you fucking leave me alone today, too? Why drag me through all of this? Why make me remember and revisit everything? Why— Why make me happy with you again? Why give me one good day, just to tell me that I’m, apparently, going to fucking die at the end of it?” Jungkook asks; he hasn’t properly processed the implications yet. It feels unreal, and he’s so angry now, that he can’t even think.

“I just wanted one day…” Taehyung whispers.

“Speak the fuck up, Taehyung, I can’t fucking hear you. I’m being serious. Why would you do all of this to me?” Jungkook steps closer, tone clipped.

Taehyung looks up, and he’s crying. Tears have started flowing freely from both of his eyes, and he’s not trying to hold them back anymore. “I just wanted one fucking day where I didn’t run from you. If today really is it— You can’t go like that. I can’t let the last thing that you believe about me, be what I told you when I ended things.”

Jungkook goes completely still. “That nothing meant what I thought it did.” he quietly recalls, and Taehyung’s shoulders fall. “That you had stopped— Fuck, my God.”

“I can’t let that be the last thing t—”

“But if the date wasn’t today, you’d leave me to only know that. Forever.” Jungkook interrupts again, no longer quietly. He steps away, but just like last time, he returns with even more irritation in the way that he moves. “Do you know what I did with what you told me?” again, he doesn’t even wait for an answer. “I tried to figure out when I stopped being enough for you. I went through every fucking moment that I could remember. I kept asking myself, was I too much… was I embarrassing, did I push too hard? Did I do something that just made you get tired of me, I couldn’t figure it out.”

“None of it was you, Kook, y—”

“I know that now! Can’t you understand that I didn’t know it then?!” Jungkook actually screams this time, and has to take a step back when he sees Taehyung flinch at his voice. “All that I had after you left were pictures, old messages that showed the progression of you pulling away. Places that I stopped going to because they reminded me of you, a thousand fucking pens. I had everything except for an answer.”

Taehyung looks down with his eyes closed.

Jungkook shakes his head. “You only left me with a million questions, things to remember, and words that made me feel fucking worthless.”

2 YEARS PRIOR

Jungkook looks away from his friend’s face when he feels someone watch him; his eyes meet Taehyung’s, and he feels his body go rigid. Taehyung’s sitting at one of the outside tables, his books open in front of him, and is now actively trying to play it off.

“Yug, I’ll meet you in the locker room.” Jungkook interrupts him as he speaks, eyes never leaving Taehyung. “You go ahead, I’ll meet you there.”

“Oh— Ok, man.” Yugyeom nods, watching him for a moment before turning on his heels and continuing the path that they were walking together, headed to practice.

Taehyung notices Jungkook now walking towards him, and the latter speeds up when he starts gathering his things to leave. Jungkook slams a hand over Taehyung’s notes to stop him. “Don’t.” Taehyung freezes. “I’m not doing this. I’m not.”

“Kook, I—”

“Don’t you dare. Don’t ‘Kook’ me. You don’t get to do that, you don’t get to look at me from afar. You owe me an explanation. You don’t get to do any of that before you give me one.” Jungkook demands, trying his best not to let his voice tremble.

Taehyung shakes his head, avoiding eye contact like the plague. “I’ve already told you everything that I had to say.” the elder quietly says.

Jungkook scoffs. “You told me nothing. You said a bunch of bullshit, and you didn’t justify any of it. Nothing makes sense, Taehyung, so—? Why?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Taehyung whispers.

“To you, it might not. To me, it fucking matters.” Jungkook finally pulls his hand away, letting it helplessly fall to his side. He can’t believe that he’s about to rip his chest open once again, now in public, and Taehyung won’t even look at him.

“I’m not doing this.” Taehyung tries to gather his things again, but Jungkook reaches for one of the books, and takes it from him. “Give me that. Let me—”

“What changed between the promise of a yes, and Valentine’s Day? What changed so fucking much in those four days? I’m not asking for much, Taehyung, I just want to understand. So, please, help me understand what’s going on. What changed?”

Taehyung closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. He needs to give an answer that will close the door between them for once and for all. “Nothing changed.”

“What?”

“Nothing changed, because there was nothing to change.” he looks up.

Jungkook blinks, gaping for a second too long. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“You made this into something bigger than what it was.” Taehyung shrugs, placing his gloved hands between his thighs; his nails dig harshly into his palms, because otherwise he might just start crying and his words will make no sense.

“No.” Jungkook shakes his head. “No, that’s some bullshit. You held my hand, you cuddled me to sleep with your face in my neck. You— You talked about living with me in the future. You wore my shirt to the game… Taehyung, you told me to ask you out. You used to reach for me in your sleep, you called me just to hear my voice, you— What?”

Taehyung gulps. “That doesn’t mean—”

“Then what did it mean?” Jungkook interrupts.

“It meant that I cared about you. I liked being close to you, because I cared about you as my friend.” Taehyung feels his knees shake. “And you decided that it meant something else. Something romantic. Whatever you thought that we were becoming, I don’t know. I… I let it go way too far.” he says the words that he practiced in his head in case this conversation happened, but no amount of preparation could make him be ready for the way that Jungkook’s face falls.

Jungkook’s shoulders sag. “You… But you were going to kiss me. Don’t tell me that I imagined that, too.” his voice sounds uncertain now, his confidence long gone.

“I got carried away.” and Taehyung hates himself. Jungkook looks wounded.

Genuinely wounded.

“Carried away.” he parrots, as if to make sure that he’s heard correctly. Taehyung can only nod; he doesn’t trust his voice. “You regret it? Almost kissing me?”

No. “Yes.” Taehyung gulps. “As I said… I got lost in the moment.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “For how long? Because this wasn’t just one time, was it? You told me to ask you out. Did you get carried away, then?”

“I shouldn’t have said that.” Taehyung whispers.

“But you did.” Jungkook presses.

“And I regretted it.”

Jungkook gulps at that. He looks away, as if trying to find the words or trying to think of what could’ve possibly caused such a reaction, and Taehyung can see the way that his eyes grow redder. “So, what, did I embarrass you? Did I push too much?”

Taehyung shakes his head. “No.”

“Was I too clingy? Did I make you feel like you had to—”

“No, Jungkook, no. I’m telling you, nothing happened. Nothing changed.”

“How can you tell me that nothing changed?” Jungkook’s voice breaks, and the elder has to look down at his books. “So, you just never wanted me? Seriously?”

Taehyung closes his eyes for a moment, forcing the tears away. “Not in the way that you wanted me to.” Jungkook takes a step back as if physically wounded by those words. “I cared about you, a lot, Jungkook.”

“Don’t.”

“You were my closest friend.”

“Stop.” Jungkook begs.

“I never wanted to make you think that it means more than that. I made a mistake.”

“Was I the mistake?” Jungkook sounds broken, and it breaks him to hear.

“No.” Taehyung answers, too immediately. “Letting it get this far was the mistake.”

Jungkook doesn’t even bother wiping away the tear that rolls down his cheek, and the elder’s breath gets caught in his throat when he looks up. “You… You never liked me like that…?” he whispers; Taehyung shakes his head. “And… And you let me think, for months, that you did. God, Taehyung, that’s so fucking humiliating.”

He takes his hands to his eyes, covering them as a little sob manages to break through his resolve. Taehyung knew that he was falling, and felt too bad to stop him and be honest? Taehyung never cared about him the same way? That can’t be. It just can’t.

“God, I thought that you really liked me.” he laughs once through his tears before dropping his hands, one of them going to his hair to pull it back anxiously.

Taehyung hates how he sounds. He hates how broken he already looks. For every inch that Jungkook emotionally retreats, Taehyung wants to take it all back, but he can’t do that. The only way for Jungkook to accept the space between them without an explanation, is if he walks away hating Taehyung. So, Taehyung keeps the façade.

“Is that why you’ve started distancing yourself?” Jungkook questions.

“I realized how deep you were… and I didn’t want the same.”

“Well, I did.” Taehyung’s breath gets caught once again. “I wanted all of it. The date, the stupid fucking house with colors and Star Wars bullshit everywhere. The dog, everything. You.” he steps closer. “I love you, Taehyung. So much.” he breathes out.

Oh. God.

Taehyung visibly shatters. His hands curl even harder, his eyebrows scrunch, and he has to look away to contain his tears. He has to gather all of his willpower in order to speak again. “I don’t love you, Jungkook.” he barely manages to say.

Jungkook feels his heart wither away. Taehyung looks like he’s just been stabbed, and he’s not blind to it. “You’re lying.” he accuses, because that’s the only explanation.

“I’m not.”

“You can’t even look at me.” Jungkook says, exasperated. Taehyung forces himself to look up, but his own body fails him as soon as his eyes meet Jungkook’s. He immediately looks away again. “See? You can’t.”

“But I mean it.” Taehyung gulps.

“No. You don’t.” Jungkook shakes his head, another unwanted tear rolling down his cheek. “You don’t get to tell me that I imagined everything, and then cry when you tell me that you don’t love me back.” he tosses the book somewhere on the table to place his own hands flat on the surface, bending down. “Look at me.”

“Jungkook, I don’t—”

“Look at me.” Jungkook presses, his voice cracking. Taehyung swallows the lump in his throat before meeting his eyes, and they both feel the time stop around them for a moment too long. They’re both actively crying, tears rolling down their cheeks, and their eyes can’t hide how broken they are. “Look me in the eyes, and tell me that you don’t love me. I’ll believe it then.” he demands, trying to sound coherent.

Taehyung opens and closes his mouth twice. “I…” his bottom lip wobbles.

“Say it.”

But only a shaky breath escapes his mouth.

“You can’t.” Jungkook concludes.

Taehyung shakes his head. “I can’t.”

There’s a visible flash of hope behind Jungkook’s eyes, a tiny breath of relief.

Jungkook sniffs, pulling back to aggressively wipe away his tears. “So, don’t. Stop this, stop saying this to me. Whatever it is that you’re scared of, tell me. We’ll figure it out.” he still tries to think properly despite the heartbreak, despite how hard his hands are shaking and how hard he wants to cry.

Taehyung takes a deep breath. “I need you to let this go.” he quietly says, and he’s given up on trying to sound coherent when his voice keeps betraying him. “I need you to let this go. This has to end.” he adds. “I don’t feel the same for you. None of it was real in the way that you thought that it was, and this has to end before you get deeper.”

Jungkook throws his hands in the air. “Fine. Fuck. You win, Taehyung.”

“This isn’t—”

“This isn’t what? A fight? It feels like one.” Jungkook sounds angry now, angry and heartbroken, and Taehyung doesn’t even know what to say. “It’s felt like one for weeks now, and I’m the only one fighting for us.” he sniffs. “I swear to God, Tae. If you let me walk away now, we’re done. I’m not coming back, I’m not trying again.”

“Go, Jungkook.” Taehyung barely manages to say.

“Do you mean that?” he still tries once more; pathetic, he knows.

Despite the fact that he’s crying in public, that there are people looking at them with pity and confusion, despite the heartbreak… he still can’t just walk away.

“Please.” Taehyung nods. “Don’t come looking for me again. Go. Please.”

Jungkook nods, slowly, resigning himself to that reality. “As you wish.” Taehyung lets out a beath as he watches the younger man turn on his heels and take a step away from him. Jungkook stops, however, and looks at him. “I hate you for this. I fucking hate you for this.” he says, his voice a mixture of heartbreak and anger.

Taehyung doesn’t say anything.

Jungkook scoffs, shakes his head, and walks away.

Taehyung’s heart stops. “Jungk—” he has to cover his mouth with one of his hands, stopping himself from calling after him despite how heartbreaking it is to watch him take several steps away. And the worst part is, Jungkook stops.

He stops, but doesn’t turn back. He waits. He waits almost ten seconds.

Once he realizes that nothing else is coming, that he won’t be called back, he shakes his head and resumes his walk with hurried steps. He needs to get out of there.

Taehyung sobs into his hand, watching him until Jungkook disappears from his sight. He rests his head on his forearms, letting his tears break free. What did he just do?

11:21 PM, PRESENT

Taehyung looks up from his gloved hands, carefully eyeing Jungkook. The latter is sitting on another bench, several feet away from him, and he doesn’t know what to say to bring him back. It’s a lot to digest, so he knows that Jungkook deserves time and space to process it… but they don’t have time — not as much as they should have.

They’ve both stopped crying by now, but their tears are still drying on their cheeks, and their eyes remain red and irritated. Their coffees sit cold and forgotten by the elder’s side next to the strip with their pictures. It’s unbearable.

Taehyung closes his eyes to take a deep breath before looking at him again.

“I lied.” he says, voice only loud enough for Jungkook to hear.

Jungkook sniffs, but doesn’t move to look at him. “You’re going to have to narrow that down.” that makes Taehyung gulp. “About what else, specifically?”

“When I told you that I didn’t love you.” Taehyung breathes out, and Jungkook’s eyes are on him not even a full second later. “I lied when I said that. It was a lie.”

The younger man nods, very slowly. “I knew it. I mean— I knew that day, during that conversation…” he pauses, looking down at his hands. “I just stopped knowing eventually.” he lets out a little laugh, ugly and humorless. “You can’t spend two years being proven wrong and keep trusting what you think or believe in. I knew that you were lying, but then you never came back, so… it became the truth, at some point.”

Taehyung shakes his head. “You were right, Jungkook. That day. I couldn’t look you in the eyes because none of what I was saying was true. I needed to keep you away from me, and— and it was working, so I just… I just kept going. It wasn’t true.”

“You said it anyway.” Jungkook faces him.

“I did. And I hated myself every fucking day after that.” Taehyung admits.

“Was that…” he hesitates. “Was that the only lie?”

Taehyung gulps. “No.” Jungkook looks away; that’s as comforting as it is devastating, and Jungkook doesn’t even know how to answer it. Thankfully, Taehyung continues now that he’s started. “You didn’t make it bigger than it was. You weren’t just my friend, and I didn’t get carried away when we almost kissed. I wanted to kiss you. I knew that I wanted you, I wanted all of you.” he wipes away a new tear, the little drop getting caught by the fabric of his glove. “I never regretted almost kissing you, or staying, or hugging you, or telling you to ask me to be your Valentine, or— anything. The problem was me, and how overwhelmed everything left me. I was fucking terrified, and I let that fear consume me and my way of thinking. I was stupid, young, and… I ruined everything.”

Jungkook can’t look at him. Not when Taehyung’s voice wavers with tears, not when he sees him wiping at his eyes between words, not when he sounds broken.

“So, I wasn’t wrong about us?” Jungkook still has to check.

“Not for a second. You didn’t imagine any of it. I was there with you. I also wanted the stupid house, and the dog, and Marvel posters, and moving away with you…”

Jungkook takes his hands to his face, rubbing his eyes while schooling his breathing to remain under control; he’s getting angry once again, and he doesn’t want that to happen. If he truly has less than an hour left, he doesn’t want to spend it yelling.

But he also doesn’t want to leave anything left to be said. “Do you have any idea of what it did to me?” he starts by asking as he drops his hands, and Taehyung can only give him a nod which earns a bitter chuckle. “No. You don’t.” he stands up, walking closer to Taehyung’s bench. “You didn’t just tell me ‘no’, you didn’t just reject me. You changed my own perspective on things, just like that. I’d remember us cuddling and talking about living together, and suddenly I had to think ‘no, apparently that didn’t mean anything, we were joking’. I thought that I had embarrassed myself for months.”

Taehyung looks down at his lap, wiping away his tears.

Jungkook almost reaches to lift his chin up to meet his eyes again, but holds himself back before his hand even lifts. “I thought that maybe everyone could tell that I was fucking obsessed with you while you were just waiting for me to get the fucking hint.”

At that, Taehyung has to hide his face in his palms as a sob escapes his lips.

Jungkook looks away. “I started believing that you kept saying ‘yes’ because you felt bad for me. I… I spent two years switching between thinking that you were a liar, and thinking that I was just delusional.” he gulps. “Do you understand how fucked that is?”

“I’m so sorry…” Taehyung speaks into his hands.

“Why that lie, Tae?” Jungkook asks, bordering on desperate. He needs answers. “I mean, you could’ve just said that you couldn’t be with me, or that you had fallen out, or something… Why tell me that I imagined everything?”

Taehyung drops his hands, struggling to find an answer.

“Why?”

“Because you wouldn’t have left.” Taehyung finally says, looking up at him. “I had already tried telling you that I couldn’t do it, I tried to avoid contact. Do you remember that? You kept offering me different solutions, and reducing yourself… making yourself smaller and smaller so that I’d let you stay. Friends. No touching. No questions. Do you remember?” he sniffs; and he knows that Jungkook remembers. “You would’ve stayed if I hadn’t said that. As long as you knew that I wanted you, you would’ve kept coming back and trying to fix everything. Us. That’s just who you are.”

Jungkook’s shoulders sag, his eyes flashing with hurt. “So… You figured out exactly what to say to make sure that I would stay away.” he rationalizes, voice slow.

Taehyung nods. “Yes. I said whatever the fuck I knew would hurt you enough.”

Jungkook looks at him, completely silent and completely still, and Taehyung barely manages to hold eye contact when Jungkook’s eyes are so filled with emotion. His reality is rewriting itself, his memories finally properly explained, and he can’t wrap his head around everything. He knew that something was going on. He’d never expect this.

But, God, how relieving it is to find out that he wasn’t just a pathetic fool in love.

The younger fiddles with the ring around his bottom lip before sitting down on the same bench as Taehyung, though with some space between them. “How did you manage to stay away if you knew that you had hurt me that badly? How did you do it?” and perhaps he’s asking too many questions, he knows, but Taehyung’s being honest and he’s finally being given the explanation that he’s longed for, for two whole years.

“The first week was the worst. I kept waiting for you to walk into my dorm, I kept reaching for my phone to talk to you… I hoped that every fucking footstep that I heard was yours. I kept forgetting that you weren’t coming back.”

“I only did what you told me to.” Jungkook eyes him.

“I know. I don’t blame you for a second.” Taehyung sniffs. “Your stuff was everywhere. Hoodies, shirts, your charger… That fucking— ugly Thor mug… and I couldn’t throw any of that out, hoping that one day… one day you’d just barge in again, and you’d need your charger back. Or would want to have coffee with me again, and you’d need your mug. You just— You just never did come back… and your stuff stayed.”

“How long did it take you to throw them out…?” he whispers.

“Oh.” Taehyung looks caught off-guard, his cheeks turning into a light shade of pink that makes him look away for a moment. “Your clothes are still in my wardrobe, I sleep in your shirt sometimes.” he admits, though shyly. “I broke the mug, though. Accident.”

“What?”

“I stopped going to the places that reminded me of you, too. I stopped listening to the music that we listened to together, and the artists that we shared. I’ve never watched another Marvel movie. It was really fucking hard to stay away, I kept wanting to run back to you, every day.” Taehyung goes on. He sighs. “Then… I found out about your girlfriend.” Jungkook’s body actually freezes, for three seconds too long. “I was so happy for you, Jungkook.” he looks up, two new tears rolling down. “I thought… finally, he’s free from the shit that I told him. I was so happy that you were happy. Or, well, I thought you were. But I cried. I cried for weeks. I hated her without even knowing her.”

Jungkook gapes, his own eyes already overflowing.

“Still, even though I hated her, I was relieved. To me, that was… a hint. It was a hint that you were doing ok, and I let myself believe it. I just wanted you to be happy, even if I had no place in your happiness anymore.” Taehyung’s voice breaks. “I hated it.”

“I was miserable.” Jungkook whispers. “And… you were miserable, too.”

“Yes.” Taehyung doesn’t even have to think of that one.

“Good.” Jungkook doesn’t miss a beat. Taehyung looks at him with a little smile trying to form through his tears. “But you knew why you were miserable. That’s the difference. You were hurting because you missed me… I was hurting because I thought that there was something fucking wrong with me.”

Taehyung nods. “I know. I know, Jungkook. I’m so fucking sorry for everything.”

“I know.”

11:34 PM, PRESENT

Taehyung looks down, picking up the photo strip once again as the silence hangs heavy between them. He sniffs, running his finger over Jungkook’s face again; his eyes close tightly, letting a new tear fall down — it hits the photo. “I thought that it would stop eventually.” he starts. “Missing you, wanting to call you… All of it. I thought that if enough time passed… or if you moved on, maybe I eventually would, too.”

Jungkook opens his mouth slightly faster than his brain catches on the use of the word would in a repetition that makes him close his mouth again.

He tries not to grow hopeful. Hope has been his biggest enemy.

Still, “Did you?” Taehyung only looks at him, unable to answer it. Jungkook studies his face for a few seconds, before gulping. “What about now?” he whispers, trying to weigh the pros and cons of his next words, but he has to ask. “Do you still… love me?”

“I’ve never stopped.” the elder whispers back.

Jungkook lets out a visibly heavy breath, looking away with a quiet chuckle. “You fucking loser.” is what he manages to say when he realizes that too many seconds have passed in silence; his heart is hammering in his chest. He’s waited two years for this.

Taehyung actually laughs through his tears. “Yeah, I know.”

“That makes two of us.” Jungkook still admits with a shrug.

The smile slowly but surely disappears from Taehyung’s face as the weight of those words actually settles. He knows that Jungkook doesn’t mean forgiveness, and he knows that he doesn’t deserve it — not so easily, at least — but knowing that Jungkook also never managed to move on, settles something in him. They never had closure, so how could they move on? How could they leave something so big behind, just like that?

“What are you thinking?” Jungkook encourages, quietly.

“I just…” Taehyung sighs, wipes his eyes. “I put you through so fucking much. I made you think that something was wrong with you, when there wasn’t a single thing that you were lacking. You were everything to me. You’re— perfect. And I’m not saying this to make you feel better, or to seek forgiveness. I truly believe this. You’re perfect, and always have been.” he looks at him, raw honesty adorning his features. “You’re the most mature and understanding person that I know. You’re… selfless, more than you should be. You’re so fucking funny, caring, and beautiful. Inside and out.”

Jungkook sniffs. That feels good to hear.

“You should hate me so fucking much, Jungkook. I made you question your own worth, and—” Taehyung halts. “How can you tell me that you still love me after that?”

“I’m still angry. And I mean… really, really fucking angry.” Jungkook clarifies. “I can love you and still be fucking furious with you… which I am. And… I don’t forgive you.”

“I know.” Taehyung nods.

“Not yet.” Jungkook adds. “Knowing your reasons makes everything make sense, but it doesn’t make any of it ok, because you could’ve handled it in a thousand different ways. I can’t forgive two years of pain just like that.”

“I know, Kook.”

Jungkook looks at his phone, lets out a weird laugh. “This is ridiculous.”

“What is it?” Taehyung looks up.

“We finally have the conversation that we should’ve had two years ago, and I apparently have twenty minutes to process all of this.” Jungkook turns the phone to him. The screen is locked, and it’s obvious that the focus is the time.

Taehyung’s face drops, his heart almost jumping out of his mouth.

He can almost hear the clock ticking again.

And Jungkook can see it. “Don’t. Stop. Don’t start counting again.”

“Fuck. Sorry. Ok.” Taehyung rubs his eyes, trying to shake away the knowledge of just how long they actually have until midnight. Earlier, twelve hours felt like a lifetime that he didn’t know how to get through; now he wishes that they had twelve more.

The younger runs a hand through his hair, leg bouncing anxiously. “I wish that you had told me then. I wish that today wasn’t what made you tell me all of this, but… but I’m glad that you’ve told me now.” their eyes glisten with tears, meeting once again as they face each other. “And I’m glad that…” Jungkook stops, trying to find the right words to convey what he wants to say without it sounding like forgiveness. “I’m glad that you’re here with me right now.” is what he settles for.

Taehyung’s lips twitch. “Yeah?” he whispers.

“Yes.” Jungkook nods. “Don’t make it bigger than it is.”

They both laugh at that, even if quietly and through their tears.

“I’m also glad that you’re letting me stay. Even if I don’t understand why you’re letting me be here after everything that I’ve just told you.” Taehyung looks down, guiltily.

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Because I want to.”

Taehyung chuckles. “You’ve been saying that since the first time we talked.”

“You keep asking stupidly obvious shit.” Jungkook teases, but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes; he scoots a little closer, though still not enough for their legs to touch.

“Are you scared?” Taehyung asks, looking at him again.

“Of what? Of dying?” the elder nods. Jungkook takes a moment. “I don’t know. I know that I should be, but…” he looks around, flexes his fingers twice just to check them, and they feel right. “I don’t think that my brain has caught up yet. Everything feels fucking normal. Like, I feel fine. I don’t feel like I’m about to die any moment now.”

“And you’re not.” Taehyung says immediately, followed by a sniff. “You’re not.”

Jungkook looks at him with a sad smile. “Don’t promise me something that you don’t know. No more lies.” the elder visibly deflates. “Are you? Scared, I mean.”

“I’m fucking terrified.” Taehyung breathes out.

“You’ve been looking terrified all day. Now it makes sense.”

Taehyung looks down at the strip still in his hand, the fourth picture a little smudged now by the tears that have fallen on it, and he rushes to put it away before he can ruin it even further. “I’m so fucking sorry, Jungkook.” he looks back up at him. “I should’ve told you everything. I shouldn’t have allowed my fears to get the best of me, because you were more than enough. Gosh, you were so—”

“We could’ve done so much, Tae.” Jungkook interrupts, frustrated. “We could’ve had two whole years. You would’ve learned what an offside is.”

Taehyung laughs, voice broken. “Absolutely not.”

Jungkook’s eyes shine under the street lamps, tears wetting his cheeks. “Two years, and still stupid enough not to know the fucking basics.”

“You love me, though.”

“Unfortunately.” Taehyung rolls his eyes; Jungkook quietly laughs.

They scoot closer, unconsciously.

“Tae, I need to ask something…” Jungkook’s voice is more serious this time, and the elder straightens up. “What if you’re wrong? About the date? Maybe you read it wrong, we touched really briefly. What if midnight comes, and I’m still here?”

Taehyung worries at his bottom lip. “I don’t know.”

“Stop with that answer.” Jungkook immediately reprimands.

“I’d want to see you tomorrow.” Taehyung corrects. “And the day after. And after.”

“As… what? Friends?” he tentatively asks, though anxious about the answer.

Taehyung shrugs. “I don’t know what we’d be, but… I know that I wouldn’t run.”

Jungkook smiles, resting his back properly on the back of the bench. “I’m not forgiving you tonight just because I might die. And, if I’m here tomorrow, I’ll probably still be very fucking angry at you.” he points out. “That won’t just go away.”

“I hope that you are very fucking angry at me tomorrow.”

Jungkook chuckles. “That’s weird.”

“No, it’s not. If you’re alive and yelling at me, I’ll take it. Happily.” and Taehyung has no traces of a smile, nothing that could be mistaken for a joke; he means it.

He’ll take whatever, as long as Jungkook’s there.

11:45 PM, PRESENT

Jungkook’s eyes slowly move from the photos resting by their side to Taehyung’s gloved hands. He gulps. “I used to think that those meant that you didn’t want to touch me… now I understand, now I know that you wanted to, too much.”

Taehyung brokenly laughs. “That’s one way to word it.”

“I still fucking hate them.” Jungkook admits, his own hand hesitantly and slowly reaching for one of Taehyung’s; and Taehyung has to tell himself that it’s ok, there’s no longer a reason to lean away, so he lets it happen. Jungkook still doesn’t fully hold him, only keeps his fingers on the edge of the glove, pinching it. “Do you still need them now?”

“For everyone else? Probably.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “For me.”

For a split second, Taehyung looks absolutely terrified. “I-I don’t know.”

“Stop.” Jungkook looks at him. “Stop with the shitty answers, we don’t have time for me to insist. Answer me truthfully, tell me what you’re actually thinking.”

“Don’t fucking say that, my God.” Taehyung says, exasperated. “I’m… scared.”

“Of?”

“Taking them off.”

Jungkook nods, studying him for a moment, before offering the smallest yet encouraging smile. “Will you let me remove them?” he asks, tone just barely above a whisper not to disturb the peacefulness that has surrounded them again.

Taehyung gulps. He looks between the gloves and Jungkook’s eyes, and the answer seems easy enough. How can he possibly risk losing Jungkook forever without holding his hand again? “Yes.” he whispers back. “You can remove them.”

There’s a flicker of surprise that flashes behind Jungkook’s eyes, but it’s quickly replaced by relief. The latter scoots a little closer, for easier access, both of his hands now gently handling the hem of one of the gloves. Taehyung tenses when Jungkook holds his hand entirely, sandwiching it between both of his palms. He wants to take his time.

Even if he doesn’t have much left.

Jungkook runs his thumb over Taehyung’s knuckles through the fabric, attention solely on his task, whereas Taehyung keeps his eyes on Jungkook’s face. He hasn’t touched anyone in two years now, and this is Jungkook — his heart is hammering.

He feels as though he can’t breathe.

When Jungkook’s finger hooks under the edge of the glove at Taehyung’s wrist, he pauses for a second — he waits for the elder to pull back if he so wishes, but Taehyung doesn’t. He can’t do that anymore. He won’t do that anymore to them.

So, Jungkook proceeds. He gently pulls the glove off of Taehyung’s hand, one finger at a time, until the whole thing is off; he leaves it on the bench by his side. Jungkook keeps one hand supporting Taehyung’s, palm facing up. His finger traces over the skin that he hasn’t seen or touched in over two years, and it almost feels overwhelming.

Taehyung’s hand is still as tan as he remembers, the fingers long and delicate. He notices the absence of rings, something that the elder used to love but has long stopped wearing because they’re always covered, anyway. They look inviting, warm… still familiar.

Because, really, it’s not just the hand. He hasn’t been able to touch Taehyung in so long. He’s dreamt of a day when he’d feel the elder’s touch on him again, so how is he supposed to act normal now that he can fulfill that?

“Why are you so quiet?” Taehyung whispers.

Jungkook still runs his index finger across Taehyung’s palm before he looks up at him again and shrugs. “I missed your hands more than I thought.” he admits.

Taehyung gulps. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” Jungkook gives him a tight smile, and looks back down. “Can you see the date right now? Is this triggering it?” he asks, with sheer curiosity, still cradling the hand in his palm as if it’s one of the most precious things that he’s ever held.

“No.” Taehyung shakes his head. “I must touch bare skin… with my fingers.”

“Ah.” Jungkook nods, meeting his eyes properly. “Can you see it even… even if you’ve seen it already?” he quietly asks; Taehyung can only nod. Jungkook fiddles with his lip ring before gently placing Taehyung’s hand on his own cheek.

Taehyung sucks in a harsh breath, startled, and tries to pull back, but Jungkook holds his wrist with his other hand. “Kook—”

“Don’t pull away.” Jungkook closes his eyes, leaning into the palm with an expression of pure bliss, while Taehyung tries his hardest not to look up. “Talk to me.”

“It’s there.” Taehyung brokenly says, his hand a little too stiff.

“Is it today’s date?” the younger asks.

Taehyung sniffs, breathes out, gathering his courage in order to look up. Once he does, an immediate tear rolls down his cheek. “It’s t-today.” he stutters; he didn’t read wrong, he didn’t misunderstand it earlier in the rush of the moment.

“Okay.” Jungkook nods. He’s absolutely terrified, he hasn’t even fully processed the actual implications of what they’re dealing with, but there isn’t enough time to think of something that he can’t change. Instead of spending his last moments thinking of how to change fate, he chooses to spend them with Taehyung. Properly.

He opens his eyes, still leaning into Taehyung’s palm, and the latter is looking at the space above his head with wide, scared eyes, and his mouth agape.

“Hey. Look at me. I’m still here. Look at me, not the date.”

Taehyung immediately obeys. The moment that his eyes meet Jungkook’s, he feels his body melt. Jungkook, holding both his hand — against his own cheek — and wrist, looks like he wouldn’t choose anywhere else to be rather than there, despite everything, and Taehyung wants to cry even harder. They’re touching.

His hand finally relaxes, cupping Jungkook’s cheek properly. “You’re so warm.” he points out with a hint of desperation in his voice, body automatically inching closer towards the younger man. He’s wanted to hold Jungkook like this so many times, held himself back more times than he can remember; he feels delirious. “You’re so— warm.”

Jungkook chuckles, amused. “Am I?”

Taehyung slips his hand out of Jungkook’s hold, only to hurriedly get rid of his second glove that he throws to the side, uncaring that it falls to the floor. He then reaches towards Jungkook again, now carefully holding his face between his hands. Taehyung runs a gentle finger over the scar on Jungkook’s eyebrow, something that he’s thought of doing so, so many times; he thumbs at his cheeks, feels the sharpness of his jaw.

His fingers return to the scar almost immediately. It’s completely healed now, but it’s visible, and looking at it takes him right back to that field — he remembers how much he wanted to touch Jungkook that day, how hard it was not to trace the wound with his fingers every single damn time that he looked at it.

Jungkook smiles when the elder runs both hands through his hair, making his head tip backwards a little. “Can I touch you, too?” he asks, hands itching on his lap. After everything, he won’t be able to handle it if he reaches for Taehyung and sees him back away. He’d rather ask and receive a ‘no’, than see Taehyung recoil.

“Please.” Taehyung doesn’t even think.

Jungkook’s hands hover for a moment, a mere inch away from Taehyung’s face, unbelieving. “Fuck.” he whispers to himself the moment that he actually lets their skin touch, already thumbing at the tears that haven’t stopped.

Taehyung’s eyes close, his bottom lip wobbles.

But then, he laughs through his tears.

“Why are you laughing?”

“I don’t know.” Taehyung opens his eyes again, smile unwavering. “This is so fucking weird. We must look fucking insane to anyone that walks past.” he acknowledges because, really, they’re both crying while touching each other’s faces like starved men.

Without proper context, the scene looks weird, at best.

“Oh, I feel fucking insane.” Jungkook chuckles, reaching for one of Taehyung’s wrists to pry the hand away from his face; he guides it to his own chest, placing it flat on the left side. “See?” he whispers. “Still working. Still beating.”

“Don’t fucking joke about that, you idiot.” Taehyung reprimands, but doesn’t move the hand — he keeps it right there, above Jungkook’s heartbeat, while the other is still set on Jungkook’s jaw, holding it carefully. He can’t pull away… nor does he want to.

Jungkook’s phone lights up with a notification, forgotten on the bench beside them, and Taehyung looks down at it. His expression falls; Jungkook sees it happen.

“Don’t look at it. We said no counting.”

Taehyung looks at him. “We didn’t fucking say that.”

“I did.” Jungkook shrugs.

“Kook, there’s less than—”

“I know.” he kisses Taehyung’s wrist, the one closest to him. Taehyung’s breath gets caught in his throat at the gesture, surprised. “If tomorrow—”

“Tomorrow. Just. Don’t say ‘if’, please.” Taehyung desperately corrects.

“Okay.” Jungkook whispers. “Tomorrow, we’re getting breakfast.” Taehyung only nods, his attention solely on his hands and how they’re touching Jungkook so gently, as if actively trying to prevent something from happening. “Do you think that touching me is going to change anything?” he asks, trying to catch up onto Taehyung’s thoughts.

Taehyung swallows. “I have no idea. I have, like, no useful information on this fucking ability. I’ve never wanted to know anything…” he admits. “I’ll touch you anyway.”

“To see if it works?”

“And because I’m tired of being afraid of touching you.”

Jungkook smiles. “Then, touch me.”

11:54 PM, PRESENT

Taehyung gently thumbs at Jungkook’s cheek while the latter keeps caressing the wrist that he’s still holding, whilst leaning against the palm on his face. They’re both smiling, eyes shining both with tears and relief. Ignoring the reality around them is hard, but they’re finally in each other’s hands and, right there, nothing else matters.

The phone lights up again, and Taehyung promptly ignores it.

Jungkook doesn’t. He glances down at the time, smile slowly slipping away.

“You know what’s stupid?” Jungkook begins.

“What?” Taehyung whispers.

“I’ve spent all day being scared of the wrong fucking things… and now I’m more scared than I’ve ever been.” he admits, his hold on Taehyung’s wrist tightening significantly. The clock hasn’t stopped, and time is chasing them faster than he can process it. Earlier, twenty minutes felt so little — now, there’s only six.

Taehyung can feel how fast Jungkook’s heartbeat has gotten under his hand. “Your heart is racing, Kook. You’re scared.” he voices it aloud as Jungkook flips his phone so that it won’t light up again, because he’d rather not know.

Jungkook looks back at him, nods. “And you?”

“Terrified.” Taehyung admits.

“Okay.”

Taehyung blinks. “Okay?”

Jungkook scoots closer. “I just want to know that I’m not doing this alone.”

“You’re not. I’m right here with you, Kook.” Taehyung assures, once again thumbing at his soft cheek. “You won’t be al—”

“I don’t want to die without kissing you once in my life, Taehyung.” Jungkook interrupts, and Taehyung gapes once before immediately leaning closer. “Wait.” the younger still says, and Taehyung freezes in place. “I don’t want our only kiss to be something that we do because we’re scared. If we kiss, I’m going to be kissing you because I love you, Tae. So… Are you leaning in just because I’m dying, or…?”

11:55 PM, PRESENT

Taehyung smiles at that, unbelieving. “You’re so annoying.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, but his lips stretch into a grin. “Always have been.”

“Which is one of the reasons why I love you.” Taehyung properly voices it for the first time, and he can see the affect that the words have on the other. Jungkook’s eyes shine, his heart misses a beat under Taehyung’s palm. It’s both adorable and incredibly reassuring — because Taehyung felt the same way hearing it. “And I want to kiss you.”

Jungkook’s eyes fall to his lips, before going back to his eyes.

Taehyung’s do the same, a little slower.

They’ve longed for this moment for almost three years now.

“Can I?” Taehyung whispers.

“Can you what?” Jungkook matches his tone.

Taehyung waits a second, looking at him as if he’s just grown a second head.

Jungkook chuckles. “I know. I just want to hear you say it.”

“Can I kiss you, Jungkook?” Taehyung words it, and Jungkook’s eyes soften.

“Yes.” Jungkook nods. “Please.” he adds, his free hand gripping his own knee as if to brace himself for what’s to come, eyes now back to Taehyung’s lips. But Taehyung don’t meet his lips despite moving closer; they’re close, yet the elder is only looking at him as if memorizing every little detail of his face once again.

He wants to remember everything about Jungkook.

Jungkook tilts his head. “This is usually the part where you lean in.” he teases.

“I’m aware.” Taehyung nods.

“So… Why aren’t you kissing me already?” Jungkook presses.

“Because.”

The footballer actually laughs at that, his chest vibrating against Taehyung’s open palm still on his chest. “Fantastic answer, as always. Y—” his words die on his tongue when he feels a thumb running across his bottom lip. It makes him gulp. It’s happening.

“I’ve waited for two years for this. I’m not rushing it now just because some fucking clock is telling me to.” Taehyung whispers, his face so close that Jungkook can count his eyelashes individually; and maybe he does. He studies Taehyung’s details, as mesmerizing as the first time that he’s laid his eyes on the elder.

“Actually, longer.” Jungkook corrects in the same quietness. “You’ve wanted to kiss me for way longer than two years. So, get to it. Idiot.”

Taehyung smiles. “Come here, then.”

11:56 PM, PRESENT

They both lean in, slowly, carefully. Jungkook still has his hand around Taehyung’s wrist, and the other gripping his knee, whereas Taehyung is still cupping his jaw with one hand and the other rests over his chest. Their faces inch closer, closer.

Their foreheads meet halfway, the sudden touch making them both close their eyes in anticipation. Their lips are parted, now breathing against each other. Taehyung can smell the coffee on Jungkook’s breath; Jungkook can feel the shaky exhales against his lips. It feels insanely different from their first almost-kiss.

This time around, they’re both there. Fully.

They’re both acutely aware of the proximity, of the time, of everything.

Yet… they still remain like that. Breathing against each other, touching just for the sake of feeling each other close, and enjoying each second as if it’s the last.

“I’m scared.” Jungkook whispers, the words fanning against Taehyung’s mouth.

Taehyung nods, forehead still against his. “Me too.”

“What if it doesn’t work?” he asks, but he knows that the question is far too unanswerable, because Taehyung can’t possibly know, and he doesn’t want a lie. “Tell my mom that I love her, ok?” he changes the topic, freeing the elder from having to answer the previous one. It wouldn’t be fair.

“Shut up. Please. Don’t.” Taehyung pleads, brokenly.

Jungkook only nods. The movement makes their noses rub together. Their bodies freeze momentarily, the proximity so real that it frightens them. It’s exciting.

It’s incredibly overdue.

“Tae.” Jungkook murmurs, eyes opening.

Taehyung’s are still closed. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good.” he worries at his lip, glancing down at Taehyung’s mouth again. “Do it.”

“I love you, Kook.” Taehyung still feels the need to say, eyebrows furrowed.

Jungkook feels himself losing his mind. “Shut up. Kiss me.”

11:57 PM, PRESENT

Their heads tilt in opposite directions, and they both lean in at last. When their lips finally touch in the middle, they can’t tell who did it first. The touch is light, neither daring apply much pressure at first — they’re both far too stunned, breaths knocked right out of their lungs, and bodies frozen in place. It’s finally happening.

Taehyung’s fingers tighten on Jungkook’s jaw, with the same amount of added strength that the latter puts on his hold around Taehyung’s wrist. Neither moves, neither deepens the kiss. It barely feels like a kiss yet, but they feel euphoric.

Their lips just… touch. For a few seconds, neither of them seems to remember that kissing is supposed to involve movements. Their lips remain pressed together, the contact so light that they can still feel each other’s shaky breaths.

Jungkook’s brain has completely shut off.

Taehyung can’t grasp the weight of it. He spent years being so scared of something that now only feels warm, simple, and so right. He dreaded something so Jungkook.

He pulls away, only half an inch, before the kiss can go any further.

Jungkook opens his eyes, looking at him. “Why’d you stop?” he whispers.

“I just wanted to look at you.” Taehyung says as he, slowly and gently, thumbs at the other’s sharp jaw. Jungkook studies him for a moment, before letting out a quiet laugh. “Why is that funny?” he asks with a laugh of his own.

“You’ve had all day. Don’t just stare at me, now.” Jungkook complains, his free hand going up to the back of Taehyung’s neck in order to pull him closer for another kiss. Their lips press harder this time around, both equally as eager. Taehyung exhales into his mouth, his hand slipping to Jungkook’s neck instead of his jaw, thumb pressed directly over his heartbeat. The reminder makes him want to kiss even harder.

The hand that Jungkook had on the elder’s wrist moves to Taehyung’s waist instead, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt in a way that makes his knuckles lightly touch the warm skin; he uses that grasp to pull him closer.

Taehyung almost loses the rhythm of the kiss, which makes Jungkook smile into it.

“More.” he mumbles into Jungkook’s lips, barely breaking the kiss, as his hand fists the younger’s sweatshirt, right above his heart, to tug him in. Taehyung tilts his head further, and Jungkook follows instinctively. Their lips part and meet again, not rushed, but hard; Taehyung can feel the press of Jungkook’s lip ring against his own.

Taehyung’s spent years imagining what kissing Jungkook would’ve felt like, but he never did imagine it quite like this. His imagination didn’t include Jungkook’s fingers tightening now on his waist under the shirt, or the tiny sound that he makes every time that Taehyung moves his thumb a little on his neck.

It didn’t include the warmth of his breath between kisses, or the way that Jungkook keeps leaning forward every time that Taehyung pulls back even slightly, chasing the contact before either of them can properly breathe.

And Jungkook can’t even form thoughts coherent enough to make a single comparison between reality and his own fantasies. He just knows that it’s incredible.

Taehyung ends up having to draw back just enough to inhale, though Jungkook follows after him automatically; Taehyung has to keep him away with his hands, an entertained and breathless laugh escaping him.

Jungkook opens his eyes again, panting. “What?”

“I needed to breathe.” Taehyung says; Jungkook whines. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you’re wasting time.” Jungkook complains, but the words hit Taehyung in a way that makes his smile completely disappear. “I mean, kissing time.” he quietly clarifies, scooting closer. His hands are still on Taehyung’s waist and the back of his neck, holding him tightly lest he disappear. “Get back to it.”

Taehyung nods, inhaling sharply before leaning back in.

This one is far less careful. Not desperate, per se, but no longer tentative.

Jungkook tilts his head further, and Taehyung follows without a single thought, their lips fitting together far more easily now that they’ve figured out the best angles and the shape of each other’s faces when so close, when to breathe. Taehyung kisses him slowly, letting his bottom lip catch between his own before releasing it, and the quiet sound that Jungkook makes at the attention sends warmth rushing straight through him.

Jungkook’s hand tightens even harder at his waist. Commanding.

Taehyung understands without being told. He shifts towards him until there is barely any space left between them, one hand remaining on Jungkook’s jaw while the other moves to the back of his head to tangle in the mess of black hair. He can still feel the pulse under his fingers, now so much more rapid.

Jungkook separates for a mere second to inhale.

Short kisses become longer ones, and suddenly Jungkook’s mouth is parting against Taehyung’s with a different kind of invitation. Taehyung doesn’t let himself hesitate — not now. He runs his tongue across Jungkook’s bottom lip, encouraging him to part them even further. With the first brush of their tongues, Taehyung’s hold on the younger’s hair tightens in a way that makes Jungkook almost moan into his mouth.

The kiss deepens naturally, tongues meeting slowly and curiously rather than hurried. Neither of them particularly interested in winning the imaginary battle for control over the kiss. They’re too busy learning each other’s reactions.

Taehyung quickly learns that Jungkook makes a tiny sound whenever his hair is tugged on. Jungkook learns that brushing his tongue against Taehyung’s makes the fingers around his neck twitch in interest.

They learn that they both smile into the kisses when they get overwhelming.

The kisses stop feeling experimental somewhere in the middle. Dangerously so.

Taehyung pulls back only when his lungs finally force him to, but Jungkook follows him without thinking, catching his bottom lip once more before reluctantly letting him go. They remain close enough that their breaths still mix, but apart enough to breathe.

Jungkook looks dazed. Taehyung laughs quietly.

“We’re so fucking bad at timing.” Jungkook comments, out of breath.

Taehyung pecks him once, because he can. “We really are.”

12:00 AM, PRESENT

Taehyung is still smiling when Jungkook suddenly goes completely still. The change happens so fast that it almost startles him: in one second, Jungkook is looking at him with swollen lips and wet eyes, still breathless — the next, his body freezes and his gaze drops beside them. His phone, forgotten on the bench.

Jungkook removes his hands from Taehyung, which makes the elder do the same, quietly watching Jungkook reach for the device. His fingers wrap around it, and he swallows, hard, before turning it towards himself. The screen lights up against his face.

Then Jungkook freezes — this time, completely.

Taehyung’s heart drops so violently that it hurts. “What?” but Jungkook doesn’t answer, eyes still on the screen. “Kook.” his voice breaks immediately. “What is it?”

Jungkook finally looks at him, and turns the phone around. “It’s… midnight.”

For a second, Taehyung doesn’t even understand what he means. He looks at the numbers on the screen, then back at him, and back to the phone. “No.” he lets out.

Jungkook’s eyebrows pull together. “It’s—”

“No, hold on.” Taehyung hurriedly reaches for his own phone, almost dropping it in the process of pulling the device from his pocket. His hands are shaking so badly that he presses the wrong button twice before the screen comes alive. The numbers are the same as on Jungkook’s screen, and his eyes flicker between both phones.

“Tae.” Jungkook calls.

“Wait. Maybe yours… yours might be ahead. Or mine is behind, or…” his voice comes out frantic, shaky. “Hold on. Hold on.” Taehyung opens his browser with trembling fingers, and Jungkook quietly watches him as he searches the live time in Seoul. He watches the page loading, watches Taehyung stare at the result without blinking.

Taehyung stops breathing altogether.

Jungkook leans closer. “Tae?” he calls once again.

Taehyung looks up, and his face crumples. “It’s tomorrow.” he says, voice completely broken at the edges, looking back down at the screen like the numbers might rearrange themselves if he looks away for too long. “It’s…” a laugh suddenly bursts out of him, completely juxtaposing the tears already spilling from his eyes. “It’s tomorrow.”

Jungkook’s lips part, the bottom one wobbling as Taehyung laughs again.

“You’re here.” Taehyung says as he laughs through his flowing tears, almost hysterical. “Jungkook, it’s midnight and you’re still fucking here.”

Jungkook’s expression breaks, eyes filling with tears. “Fuck.” he breathes out.

Taehyung reaches for him but stops halfway, overwhelmed by the sight alone. He can’t believe that Jungkook’s still sitting in front of him: breathing, crying. His chest is still rising, still falling. His face is still flushed from the kisses, hair still disheveled. He’s alive.

Jungkook laughs through his own tears, wiping uselessly one of his cheeks when another tear immediately replaces the removed one. “I’m here.” he nods, mouth trembling with the weight of the realization. “I’m here, Tae, fuck.”

Taehyung reaches for him, wrapping both of his arms around Jungkook’s torso so hard that the latter lets out a startled sound before hugging back just as tightly. Taehyung buries his face against Jungkook’s shoulder, hands fisting his sweatshirt. Jungkook still feels warm against him, solid, and his arms still hold him with intent.

He still smells like his usual cologne. Taehyung breathes him in like he’s been drowning all day. Maybe for two years. The scent is so familiar, so sweet.

“I really thought…” Taehyung tries to whisper, but the sentence collapses before it gets anywhere. Jungkook only tightens his hold on him, understanding without the need for more specific words. “Kook, I really thought that—” he gulps; he can’t say it.

“I know.” Jungkook whispers.

Taehyung squeezes his eyes shut. For twelve hours, he’s looked at Jungkook and seen an ending. Every car, every staircase, every road that they crossed. Every second, every damn breath that Jungkook let out. All day long, he’s been waiting for something to take Jungkook away from him… but nothing did.

Midnight came, and Jungkook stayed.

A sob rips through him. Jungkook’s hand slides up the back of his head, threading through his hair. “Hey.” Jungkook calls, but Taehyung only shakes his head against his shoulder, unable to pull away yet. “Hey, I’m still here.” and that only makes Taehyung cry harder. “Tae, you’re squeezing the shit out of me, easy, easy.” he says through a laugh.

“I don’t care.”

Jungkook laughs wetly. “Okay.”

“I’m never letting go.” Taehyung sniffs.

“That might make breakfast difficult.” Jungkook recalls, and that does make the elder slowly pull away only far enough to look at him. They’re both crying and smiling at the same time, looking absolutely out of their minds. “Breakfast. Remember?”

Taehyung stares. Breakfast. That stupid promise from earlier when tomorrow was a mere hypothetical concept… but it’s not anymore. Tomorrow is now.

A fresh new wave of tears immediately spills from Taehyung’s eyes.

Jungkook starts laughing. “Oh, my God, why did that make you cry harder?”

“Shut the fuck up, seriously.” Taehyung insult, lightly slapping his arm.

“We literally just survived whatever supernatural bullshit that was supposedly going to happen to me, and breakfast is what finishes you off?” Jungkook teases, placing one hand on Taehyung’s thigh; they’re still sitting pressed against each other.

“I’ll buy you all the fucking food in the world.” Taehyung promises, sobs.

“Don’t say that, because I’ll hold you up to that after this emotional turmoil.”

Taehyung laughs, shaking his head. For several seconds, neither of them manages another word as they get lost in the sight before them. They just hold each other: the elder now has both of his hands on Jungkook’s forearms over his sweater, while Jungkook has one on his thigh and the other loosely holding the hem of his shirt.

After a beat longer, Taehyung is the one to speak. “What do we do now…?”

Jungkook blinks. Then, he laughs. “What?”

“I don’t know.” Taehyung bites down on his bottom lip, almost embarrassed by the question. “I genuinely don’t fucking know. I spent the whole day trying to get you through midnight… I didn’t think past midnight. I don’t know what to do now.”

Jungkook’s face softens. “Well…” he sniffs, drawing little invisible circles on the elder’s thigh. “We go to breakfast when places start opening.”

Taehyung gives him an incredulous look. “It’s midnight.”

“We’ll wait.”

“For hours?” he checks.

Jungkook hums. “Yeah.” Taehyung only stares at him as Jungkook’s smile slowly starts dimming. “And, like…” he sniffs once again. “I’m still angry at you, so.” Taehyung’s smile takes over his entire face. Jungkook squints at that. “What?”

“I’m so fucking happy that you’re mad at me.”

“That’s an insane thing to say. Weirdo.” Jungkook jokes.

“It’s ok. You can yell at me tomorrow.” Taehyung says, tone dreamy.

“It is tomorrow already.” Jungkook reminds, and Taehyung’s expression crumples again instantly. Jungkook quickly leans closer. “Oh, fuck. No, no, don’t start crying again.”

“It’s tomorrow.” Taehyung cries out.

Jungkook actually laughs. “It is. I can already be angr—” his words die in his throat when Taehyung ends the space between them by fitting his mouth against Jungkook’s with purpose. There’s a tomorrow now, and he can kiss Jungkook at midnight, and one minute past midnight, and at breakfast, and whenever the hell Jungkook allows him to.

They both smile a little too widely into the kiss; their teeth bump.

They immediately pull apart, staring at each other before giggling together.

“That was awful. Worst kiss so far.” Jungkook comments.

Taehyung makes an affronted sound. “You’re such an asshole.”

“Yet, you’re still talking to me.” the callback makes them warm. “And love me.”

Taehyung smiles. “I do, yes.” he nods, zero hesitation this time. “I love you.”

Jungkook fiddles with his piercing, reaching for Taehyung’s hair to gently tuck it behind his ear. “I love you, too.” he whispers. “But today, I’m angry at you.”

“Will you still kiss me while angry?” Taehyung asks.

“Hm…” Jungkook pretends to think. “Only to establish a better kissing ranking.”

Taehyung laughs. “Alright, I’ll take it.”

12:04 AM, PRESENT

Jungkook looks at him for another moment before his expression twists with amusement, taking in how he looks after everything. “Also…” he reaches up to wipe beneath one of the elder’s eyes. “You look fucking insane.”

Taehyung lets out a wet laugh. He can’t see himself, but he fully believes that he most definitely does look insane. His eyes feel swollen from crying, his cheeks hurt from smiling too much in the span of only a few minutes. His hair is a mess from Jungkook’s hands, his lips still feel warm and sore; his chest still aches from the force of all the emotions that his body has barely had enough time to process.

“I feel insane.” he admits. “I’ve felt insane the whole fucking day.”

Jungkook smiles. Taehyung mirrors it easily.

For once, there’s nothing immediately waiting behind them.

No clock, no countdown.

No upcoming minute that terrifies them.

Midnight has passed, and Jungkook remains there.

Taehyung looks at Jungkook for a second longer, taking in the ridiculous sight of him with tear-streaked cheeks and swollen lips, his piercing still slightly red from how many times Taehyung caught it between their mouths while kissing.

Jungkook. Jungkook alive.

Tomorrow. Breakfast.

Jungkook angry at him.

There are so many things now, things that didn’t exist five minutes ago.

Taehyung tilts his head as a thought enters his mind. It’s small at first, not enough to dent the happiness sitting inside his chest, but enough for his smile to falter a little. “I feel like…” he begins, but stops; there shouldn’t be more lies between them, and he wants to be honest about everything now. “I should check, shouldn’t I?” he asks instead.

Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow a little, confused. Taehyung looks down at his hands.

The younger understands right away. “Do you want to?”

Taehyung gulps. “Not really.” he whispers. “But… I feel like I should.”

Knowing Jungkook’s date was his biggest fear for far too long, and he doesn’t want to live with that anymore. If he sees it, then he’ll know that there’s nothing to be scared of. Jungkook was supposed to die before midnight, yet he didn’t, so the date was wrong.

It should show him a different one now.

Taehyung tries to picture what year it’ll show him this time around.

Forty years from now. Fifty. Sixty, maybe. Something ridiculous, even.

Something that will make Jungkook laugh and complain that he doesn’t want to live for that long because his knees already hurt after football practice.

Something far away enough for them to be able to spend the next years forgetting those numbers and living in their shared happiness. That’s all that he wants.

Jungkook offers him a small smile, encouraging. “Go on.”

Taehyung swallows. Slowly, he raises both of his hands. Jungkook leans towards them, meeting him halfway just like how he’s been doing all night. Taehyung places his palms against Jungkook’s cheeks — bare skin against bare skin. Warm.

Jungkook smiles into his hands, fingers rising to circle Taehyung’s wrists so that he can gently thumb at the inside of them. For one tiny moment, Taehyung forgets what he’s even supposed to do; he just looks at Jungkook with love-sick eyes.

Because Jungkook looks happy. Exhausted, cried-out, emotionally wrecked, but genuinely happy. Taehyung has never seen anything more beautiful.

Then, he looks up. The date is right above Jungkook’s head, as expected.

Taehyung stops breathing. His hands remain cupping the younger’s cheeks, and he’s just staring up with his mouth parted, smile long-gone.

Jungkook doesn’t like that change. “What?” he asks; Taehyung doesn’t answer him once again. He can see Taehyung’ eyes moving across the numbers, once, twice. “Tae, what’s wrong?” he insists, because he can’t handle the silence. His thumbs stop.

Taehyung blinks a couple of times, but the date doesn’t change.

His hands begin trembling against Jungkook’s face.

“Tae.” Jungkook’s voice drops. “Talk to me.”

Taehyung finally meets his eyes. “The date. It changed.” he barely manages to say.

Jungkook exhales, hope crossing his face. “Oh.” he smiles, shoulders relaxing. “It changed to what?” he asks, almost laughing in relief upon hearing that.

But Taehyung can’t answer. He’s merely staring at him.

And Jungkook’s smile slowly disappears. “Tae…?”

“It moved.” a tear slips down Taehyung’s cheek.

Jungkook watches it fall. “How far?”

“One day.” Taehyung’s voice breaks. Jungkook frowns, a bit puzzled, but the confusion on his face only lasts a lonely second. Taehyung’s bottom lip trembles, his chest feeling impossibly tight. “It’s— It’s back to being… today.”

Jungkook stills. His hands are still around Taehyung’s wrists, but he’s no longer caressing them. Taehyung’s palms are still against Jungkook’s cheeks, but his tough no longer feels comforting when he’s shaking, unable to help himself.

Neither of them knows what to say.

A mere minute ago, today meant breakfast. It meant Jungkook being angry at him, it meant more kisses and more arguments. It meant more chances to say the right thing after spending two years saying everything wrong. It meant that they had time.

Now, the word sits between them meaning exactly what it meant before midnight.

A sentence. A countdown. Waiting.

Jungkook looks down, breathes out, before looking at him again. His tears are filled with tears again, but there’s no laughter this time. No hysterical relief, no smile breaking through the flowing tears. Just disbelief, pain, and confusion.

“Tae…” he whispers, sounding a little lost.

Taehyung has never hated the sound of his own name more. He doesn’t really know what Jungkook is asking, and maybe Jungkook doesn’t know, either, but they’re both aware that Taehyung wouldn’t have an answer.

The elder feels his fingers twitch against Jungkook’s cheeks. For years, this was the exact moment that he was so terrified of: touching Jungkook and seeing the date. He thought that knowing it would make him run… instead, his hands stay planted.

Jungkook lifts one of his own, and covers Taehyung’s. He holds it against his cheek.

They look at each other in complete silence, tears rolling down without a word.

Neither says anything. There is nothing that they can say that will change the numbers still hanging above Jungkook’s head. Nothing that can return the certainty that they were able to hold onto for three hopeful minutes.

Nothing that can tell them whether midnight saved Jungkook, or delayed something that is bound to happen anyway, now a few hours overdue. In twelve hours, they managed to change everything except for the ending. Jungkook is still destined to die, and their story is still destined to be cut short.

They didn’t defeat fate — they only pushed the clock forward.