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Jean Kirschtein was lying on the ground, staring up at the sky. The back of his head hurt. His legs ached. His arm was bruised. Jean let out a very generous sigh, and his view was soon blocked by someone’s face. He blinked a couple times and then squinted at Marco Bodt, who had crouched down and leaned over Jean to see what he was doing.
“You can’t lie there forever, Jean.”
“I can, and I will.”
Jean had been trying to finish getting through this exercise faster than Eren, which had turned out to be a pretty bad idea for him. He’d wound up slamming right into a tree and falling down onto his back, and he hadn’t gotten up since, just lying there and staring at the sky. He’d basically decided to completely give up for a little while and lie there hating himself and Eren.
Marco above him let out a short little laugh and rolled his eyes before grabbing Jean’s arms and yanking him up to his feet. Marco smiled when Jean refused to support himself, and simply held him close for a little while until Jean finally sighed and decided to stand on his own.
“Better?” Marco asked. He reached up to fix Jean’s hair, and slowly made his way down, straightening Jean’s clothes out and brushing dirt off of him, making sure his 3DMG was in place and that his shoes weren’t about to fall apart. Jean watched him silently, blinking a few times, before responding with a quiet “yeah”.
Marco looked Jean over for a minute or so before finally letting out a sigh and glancing back up at Jean’s face with concern. “I think you still need some cheering up,” he said. “Do you need a hug?”
Jean squinted at Marco. “Of course not.”
“Are you sure?”
Jean tried to keep squinting at Marco. He really did, but honestly, Marco looked genuinely concerned over the fact that Jean didn’t even feel up for a stupid hug. He heaved a sigh before averting his gaze from that practically pleading look of Marco’s to the ground beside him.
“No, I guess not,” Jean muttered.
“What was that?” Marco asked, that look of his becoming even more obviously pleading, and a stupidly cute smile playing at his lips. He looked so fucking eager.
“I said I guess I might need a hug after all,” Jean said clearly, shifting his weight a bit and feeling the beginnings of a blush tingling at his cheeks. (He needed to stop that.)
Marco grinned, absolutely radiating happiness, and he wrapped his arms around Jean in one of the tightest, most loving hugs Jean had ever been in.
It was almost terrifying, to be honest.
Begrudgingly, Jean hugged Marco back, but all this did was make Marco hug Jean that much tighter. Soon he could barely breathe, and he thought he was going to die when Marco suddenly let him go and clapped a hand on his shoulder.
“Are you feeling better now?” Marco asked, looking seriously at Jean. He didn’t get a response; just Jean looking at him with a completely indifferent expression. “Guess not,” Marco said thoughtfully. “I have plenty of more ideas, though. I can hug you some more, or I could tell you a story, or I could sing you a song, or I could hold your hand, or we could go on a walk, or….” When Jean didn’t do anything but let his expression grow even more sour, Marco simply laughed (that short, happy little laugh again) and reached out to pinch Jean’s cheeks. “I know you’re trying to look irritated,” Marco said, smiling, “but honestly you’re just pouting like a child. It’s more cute than upsetting.”
Jean swatted Marco’s hands away and scowled, trying desperately not to just be “pouting like a child”. He supposed he was just being stubborn, but of course he’d never admit that to himself, and he just kept standing there looking unpleasant before Marco leaned in uncomfortably close to him. Then his expression turned to one of surprise.
“I’ll kiss you,” Marco threatened, reaching out and poking one of Jean’s cheeks. “I won’t hesitate. Don’t make me do it.”
“Stop that.” Jean swatted Marco’s hand away again, still trying to look annoyed. This, unfortunately, earned him a kiss on the nose from Marco, which in turn made Jean blush furiously, his mouth turning up into the smallest of smiles for a second before returning back to that stubborn frown from before.
“I told you I wouldn’t hesitate!” Marco grinned at Jean again, and Jean couldn’t help but smile just a tiny, tiny bit in return. “There’s that smile!” Marco exclaimed happily, unable to contain himself as he hugged Jean tightly, as he had before. Jean rolled his eyes and hugged Marco back, letting out a sigh and resting his head on Marco’s shoulder after a moment. He let himself enjoy it, honestly – the warm feeling of being so close to Marco; the quiet sound of Marco sighing too; the faint scent of Marco…. Jean found himself closing his eyes after a little bit to lose himself in him.
Marco, similarly, was pretty ecstatic after finally having an excuse to absolutely shower Jean with affection. He’d wanted to for a long while, really. All those days Jean would come trudging back to the barracks looking so irritated and overall just sour, or that one time he’d hit his head and had a headache for a few days. Every time Jean got sick Marco just wanted to take care of him; fall asleep next to him and hug him and hold his hands and kiss him until he felt better.
And now he finally could! Sort of.
He took a deep breath, really breathing Jean in and letting the feeling of him being close soak in for a minute. Then he let Jean go, stepping back a little to smile at him.
“Did that help?”
Jean took a deep breath similar to Marco’s before looking up at him and smiling, nodding very slightly.
“Yeah. It helped a lot.”
“I’m glad!”
When they finally started making their way back, Marco insisted on holding hands with Jean so that he “could help keep the sad from coming back”. It was almost dark when they came up to the barracks, and when Marco had to let Jean go to wash his clothes and shower and such he thought his heart broke a tiny bit. Just a little.
But when Jean came back and smiled at him, that little break didn’t seem like anything anymore.
-
Every time after that, whenever Jean would screw up and fall down or twist something or bruise himself or get sick or get tangled up in his 3DMG or cut himself on something or get indescribably pissed at Eren or scrape his knees or have a nightmare or pull a muscle or just get into a bit of a bad mood, Marco was on the case with his cheery smiles and stupid jokes and insisted hugs. Each time Jean seemed to resist a little less to Marco’s unceasing affection, and he’d even go so far as to kiss Marco’s cheek or his nose back whenever Marco went through with his threats to kiss Jean. And each time Marco was even more tempted to kiss Jean’s lips, or tell him he admired him, or that he wanted to hold him and comfort him forever. He wanted Jean to himself, almost to the point of actually hoping that Jean would screw up so he could swoop in and hug him and such.
Occasionally, someone would be obnoxious about Marco and Jean – snickering whenever Marco kissed Jean’s cheeks; muttering something clearly pointed at them while Marco was brushing Jean off and straightening out his clothes. It wasn’t that big a deal; Jean didn’t even push Marco away or tell him to stop when that happened. They simply ignored it.
One awfully rainy night Jean had jerked awake after having a nightmare, and he looked around frantically for Marco for a few moments before spotting him right next to himself in the bed, as had become usual lately. He let out a huge sigh of relief after that, flopping back down and cuddling close to him. Marco stirred, shifting a little and carefully wrapping his arms around Jean before letting out a small, sleepy sigh and falling back asleep.
It made Jean smile, and he was almost tempted to stay up and watch Marco sleep. But soon he was asleep too, lulled to it by the patter of the rain on the roof and Marco’s quiet breathing.
-
Marco was sick.
He’d caught a nasty cold and it was throwing pretty much everything off for him – he’d aim for one place with his 3DMG, sneeze, and wind up shooting off in an almost completely different direction. He felt so lightheaded at one point that he’d fumbled one of his swords and then tripped over the wire, slamming facedown into the ground with his other sword flying out of his hand and landing God knows where.
He felt awful.
That night Marco crawled into his bed as soon as he possibly could, pulling the sheet up to his chin and trying to fall asleep quickly. It wasn’t working, and he wound up lying there staring at the ceiling until Jean popped up and looked down at Marco.
This was vaguely familiar.
“Are you okay?” Jean asked quietly. “Sorry I didn’t really hang around you much today.”
“It’s fine,” Marco said quietly, starting to say something else but descending into a fit of coughs. Jean looked concerned, quickly moving around and going to sit on the other side of the bed next to Marco. He leaned over and looked down at Marco again.
“Can I help?” he asked. “I’m probably not as good as you are with me, but I can try….”
“I said it was fine,” Marco said miserably. He smiled weakly at Jean, and Jean’s heart just about broke seeing Marco still trying to be so nice even when he was sick.
“It’s not troublesome or anything.” Jean tried to look sincere. “I could hold your hands or hug you or something and try to help you sleep….”
Marco smiled at Jean again and then looked away, heaving a huge sigh and rubbing his eyes a little. “I think,” he said, continuing haltingly, “there’s one thing… you could do for me.”
“What is it?” Jean asked quickly, leaning closer as if he would miss Marco’s answer if he was too far away.
“Don’t hate me for it,” Marco said slowly. “I mean… it’d probably be really gross since I’m sick… but it would be really nice if you could kiss me and—“
Before he could finish, Jean had leaned over and pressed his lips to Marco’s as gently as he possibly could, almost as if he was fragile, as if Marco would break if he was too forceful. Honestly, it was because of sheer desire he’d had for a while to do this that he’d assumed Marco had meant on his lips, and he was drowning in the feeling long after he’d resolved not to regret it. It was when Marco finally, finally, after what felt like a couple eternities, started to kiss him back that Jean realized he’d been holding his breath, and he let it out slowly, brushing over Marco’s cheek for a moment before cupping it gently with his hand. He heard Marco sigh, and he relaxed too, continuing to kiss Marco until he finally pulled away from him what seemed like hours later. His face felt like it was burning, and he refused to look at Marco until he giggled and yanked Jean down next to him.
Even next to him now Jean still refused to look at Marco, but Marco didn’t even care. He smiled and hugged Jean tightly, pressing up on him a little and kissing his cheeks happily. He did stop to sneeze a few times but he was otherwise showering Jean with more affection than usual, even while he was sick.
This went on for a little while, and Marco even managed to get a couple more kisses out of Jean before he finally settled down and closed his eyes so he could actually sleep.
Jean stayed up and watched him this time. His face still felt hot from being so indescribably embarrassed over that whole ordeal, and he hadn’t even thought to look around to see if anybody had been watching them. Part of him didn’t care, and part of him was mortified at the thought now – turning around to see Connie right behind them or something would have probably sent him into cardiac arrest.
When Jean felt himself drifting off into sleep along with Marco, he hugged him a little closer and pressed another kiss to his forehead. “I love you,” he whispered quietly, and soon he was asleep.
-
Jean woke up to a very excited Marco grinning at him from above. At first he was scared and he almost screamed, but after he realized it was just Marco he let out a sigh and blinked at him. “What?”
Marco already looked incredibly happy, but as soon as Jean spoke he seemed to light up a whole lot more. “I heard what you said last night!” he declared. It almost looked like his grin was going to take over his entire face if it got any bigger.
“Huh?” Jean asked. “I don’t remember saying anything.” He rubbed his eyes groggily and slowly sat up, Marco scooting back a little to sit on his knees next to him.
“You don’t remember?” Marco pouted at Jean. “How could you forget something like that? Unless you were just being careless and you didn’t really mean it….”
Jean honestly couldn’t remember anything he’d said that was all that special, unless—
Oh.
“Y-you were awake for that?” he stuttered, waking up quite a bit himself from this realization.
“I was!” Marco responded happily. “I was really sleepy but I did hear what you said. And it made me so happy I couldn’t actually fall asleep for a little while.”
“I, uh….” Jean rubbed his head a little before sighing and looking straight at Marco. “I meant it.”
“Really?” Marco scooted a little closer to Jean and grabbed his hands. “You really really meant it?”
“I really really meant it.”
Marco laughed that little laugh of his and hugged Jean as tightly as he possibly could, like that first day when he’d picked Jean up from the ground. Jean could hardly breathe and he wound up frantically patting at Marco until he let him go.
“I love you too!” Marco exclaimed loudly. This warranted a few looks from some of the others shuffling around trying to wake up and get going, and Jean felt himself blush a lot more than he wanted to admit to. Marco grabbed Jean’s hands again and looked at him eagerly, practically bouncing where he was sitting with his excitement. “I have for a really long time!”
“O-oh, uh.” Jean smiled nervously at Marco. “Sorry?”
Marco shook his head. “It was never a bad thing.”
After a couple minutes of generally being a total ball of energy, Marco finally managed to get Jean up and get them both dressed and outside to start their day. Jean swore Marco never, ever stopped smiling the entire time, and he was pretty sure he was smiling just as much.