Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

It was meant to be a nice, summer day for Donkey Kong. He has been lazing around on DK Island, snacking on bananas on the beach. He thought back to his most recent adventure. It’s been a year since he went off to Ingot Isle to mine for Banandium Gems. A year since he teamed up with Pauline, who turned out to be the granddaughter of the Lady, the woman Cranky kidnapped all those years ago. A year since he journeyed to the center of the planet, racing to planet core before Void Kong could get his hands on their way home. A year since… He shook out his thoughts and went back to snacking and watching the sunset.

He didn’t want to think about the adventure. Yes, it was fun; he and Pauline explored every layer of the planet, each one being more fun than the last. They ate bananas, performed songs, ate banana burgers, visited a theme park, ate choco-banana ice cream, lounged at a hotel, and so on. But that final showdown—those horrors, stakes, and costs—spoiled the joy of the adventure. 

While Donkey Kong was greatly affected by what happened, Pauline was downright horrified! The poor girl had witnessed too much, and while she tried to downplay it and distract herself with finding inspiration for a new song, Donkey Kong was not easily fooled; he saw through it all, and tried his best to ease her mind. Even though she didn’t visit him that much lately, he understood that she had her reasons. The journey was simply too raw, her scars too deep, and she needed time to recover—he had, after all, his own experience with being kidnapped and taken away far from home.

That said, he also needed some time to recover, too. It was a long journey, after all, and Poppy and Grumpy said they would at least keep an eye on Void. Not to mention he needs to prepare for when that monster starts to—

“DK!”

He was startled by the voice of Diddy Kong, who was running for the resting gorilla.

“What’s up, little buddy?” asked Donkey Kong.

It was then he noticed Diddy seemed to be panicked, bordering on hysterics. “What’s up? More like what’s going down! It’s the Kremlings—they’re coming!”

And just like that, what was supposed to be a nice, summer day was spoiled by a certain band of banana bandits.

Diddy just couldn’t believe what was happening. Even a full year after the Banandium crisis, they were all still recovering from all that happened. And now those Kremling scum were back at it again. Then again, Diddy thought, it’s just like those scum to do that as their grand return.

The two Kongs immediately raced to the runway, where Funky Kong was waiting in his trusty plane, the Jumbo Barrel. After they got inside, Funky put the plane into high gear and hightailed it to the main island. As they neared their destination, they could see dark smoke rising from the burning jungle, blotting out the sun.

The passengers could only watch in growing horror, until Diddy broke the silence. “Oh, bananas. What have they done…” He had barely any words to say. What could be said? Everyone in the DK Isles knew of the devastation the Kremling Krew brought wherever they went. They were a blight upon the world, killing life wherever they lived. And now they were here, attacking the island.

As they flew closer, details of the crisis became more clear to their eyes. There were charred trees sprawled across the landscape, animals fleeing for their lives as they tried their best to evade the fire. Some creatures were even bringing water from the rivers to mitigate the disaster but it was no use; the fires were simply too strong. And then they saw them, the Kremlings. Some wielded torches that set the island ablaze, while others assaulted the inhabitants of the island.

“You said it, Diddy.” He looked over to DK, whose rage was clear. “Hey, Funky, how close can we get to those crocs?”

“I can’t land, not with all the smoke and fire,” Funky answered, “but I think I can do a flyby and drop you guys. You cool with that?”

“It’s fine by me. C’mon, Diddy,” DK put his head out of the plane’s opening door, “let’s give them the BANANA SLAMMA!” He dived out the plane, with Diddy following with his Barrel Jet jetpack.

Now, this was a disaster. Colonel Pluck thought he’d seen it all: Mind-controlling musical instruments, the moon falling out of the starry sky, a tropical blizzard summoned by some fatso. But this? This took the banana cake! Those plucking Kremlings were back, more loony in the head than ever! And to top it all off, they were trashing the whole island.

The colonel chicken readjusted his spectacles as he drove his two-legged mech, the rebuilt Stompybot 3000, towards another group of those vermin. He kicked the leader, one of them crocs with a metal army helmet, out of the way and torched the rest of the lot with his built-in flamethrower. With that group finished off, he began to head deeper in the flaming jungle to help the other—

The mech suddenly jerked to the right side with a bang, tossing Pluck around inside with red lights blaring. Once he steadied himself he looked and saw the ruckus was caused by Fire Necky, leader of the Neckys. “So that’s how it is, eh,” the Colonel challenged, turning the mech at the overgrown bird, “trying to turn me into fried chicken, are you now? Well, not today! The way I see it, you’re gonna get FIRED!”

The mech got into a running position and charged at the Necky, provoking the flaming bird to screech and rush at the robot. Right before they collided, the mech leaped into the sky with its Rooster Boosters, striking the Necky with great force. The Necky tumbled in the sky, trying to recover, while the robot landed back on the ground with only a crack in the windshield. “And they said chickens couldn’t fly! Now what, I say, what are you gonna cock-a-doodle-do?”

Of course, it was at this moment the wannabe-Phoenix got back to its senses and spat a flaming rock at the mech, impacting it with such speed that it took it down with a crash. The electronics sparked as Pluck tried to get back on his robot feet. “No! My mech, my beautiful mech! Stop, I say, stop breaking and…” the flightless bird looked up in fear to see the bird of prey staring right into his soul. “Wait-wait a minute here! W-we can work something out, right—wait—please don’t ki—stop!” Despite his pleas, the Necky began to swoop and—

A brown blur crashed from the air into the bird with terminal velocity, beating it senseless. As the dust cleared, a certain ape with a red tie was revealed. “Ow, that hurt,” moaned Donkey Kong. “That’s the last time I go skydiving from a plane.”

Diddy, because of course that little gremlin was here, landed on top of the downed mech. “Didn’t you literally skydive your way down to the planet core? How is that any—woah!” The monkey looked down in shock as he saw Colonel Pluck in… not the best condition. “Pluck, is that you?”

The chicken managed to regain some of his senses from his near death, and cocked his head to the apes. “No, I’m Porky—Of course I’m Pluck, you stupid monkeys! Who else do you know that’s a chicken with a robot on this island? Now where, I say, where in the Sam Hill have you two been? The entire island’s falling apart!”

“We know, Pluck, and don’t worry!” Donkey Kong proclaimed with his signature thumbs-up. “We’re gonna give those Kremlings what they’re getting!”

Pluck slammed a wing on the dashboard. “You better! I don’t plan on being cooked up and served to K. Rool. Go, I say, go out and fight! I can get myself out of this mess.”

“You got it, Pluck!” The two Kongs went into the frey of the burning jungle. As Pluck climbed himself out of the wreckage, he watched the heroes disappear into the smoke. Before he left, however, he had one last thing he had to do.

“Hah!” Pluck mocked the beaten Necky. “I say, you sure got what you got! Now I’m gonna…” He trailed off as he watched in growing horror as the bird melted into dark, purple ooze. “What in TARNATION is going on!?”