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[ YOU STINK ]
The abrupt admission broke Wile E. Coyote out of a trance. His Roadrunner, the endearing little bastard, was keeping him busy with cuddles, and… well, that was it.
But the thing about cuddling with Roadie, especially after 77 years of unspecific yearning, was that it was a full-body experience.
Wile E. pulled away from his mate, a frown on his face.
[ YOU DON’T EXACTLY SMELL LIKE ROSES ]
It wasn’t uncommon in their relationship, now, to tease each other a bit. Roadrunner was not often this direct, though.
He, of course, was right.
Taking care of himself was just… an afterthought for the coyote, usually. There wasn’t much water in the desert, after all; he had to drink whatever he could get his paws on. Self-grooming wasn’t the best option, but it was better than nothing.
After becoming friends with Kevin and Paige Avery, and becoming Roadie’s mate, Wile E. began to eat much better and hurt himself much less frequently. His skin and coat benefitted greatly, but there was nothing that could beat out a good soak in some warm water.
Even Roadie preening him (which he did, frequently) couldn’t quite tackle the overall level of uncleanliness that had become a way of life to the coyote.
But in this case… having human friends had its advantages.
[ KEVIN HAS A SHOWER ]
Wile E. was already reaching for his cell phone, bending around his companion (who had begun pecking at a small mat on his chest) to grab it from beside his bed.
It took a considerable amount of convincing on Wile E.’s part, but Kevin eventually agreed to have them both over… just to use the shower.
They scheduled the ordeal for the next day, because Kevin had ‘meetings and such’ for the rest of the day, and Wile E. and Roadrunner couldn’t break apart from each other even for a couple minutes.
It was Paige’s idea to turn it into a hangout, the younger lawyer inviting herself over as soon as Kevin had told her. She’d texted Wile E., letting him know that she was going to bring him a special shampoo to try, as well as some snacks. It was very Paige of her to do, but Wile E. didn’t mind. Roadie hadn’t been around the two humans very much, but he had no problem with them (they helped his dear coyote, after all!).
With plans settled, Wile E. tossed his phone away and held his birdie close once more. They had one more evening to swap scents; they’d better make it count.
—
It was mid-afternoon by the time Coyote and Roadrunner made it out of the desert towards Albuquerque. The two toons had decided to chase each other to Kevin’s new apartment, rather than having Kevin or Paige pick them up closer to their home. It was faster, and more enjoyable, than sitting in some stuffy car.
“Ah- welcome, you two.” Kevin greeted them at the door, silently noting an extra fresh layer of dust on the both of them.
The pair nodded their hellos to him as they entered the apartment, both helpfully wiping their feet on the welcome mat. Paige was already there, watching TV on the couch.
“Hey, Wile E.! Roadie!” she greeted, waving.
[ HELLO, PAIGE ]
[ HI PAIGE :3 ]
She squealed slightly, always pleased to get her own special sign from her favorite former client and his mate.
“You will absolutely love this shampoo. I called the number on the bottle to make sure it was cartoon animal safe, and it is!” she told them, holding out a slim purple bottle. “And it’s lavender.”
Wile E. smiled at her, taking the bottle from her hand. He glanced over to Kevin, who was pouring a bag of chips into a large bowl, Roadrunner watching him curiously.
“Oh, Wile E., the bathroom is the first door on the right– hey, Roadie, I know you want chips, but at least let me put the bowl down first–”
It was too late. The eccentric creature that Wile E. Coyote loved dearly had pecked the entire bowl of chips, while Kevin was still holding it, into nothing but crumbs. He then went to town on the chip crumbs, munching on them like birdseed.
Paige laughed at her uncle’s exasperation and offered to buy more chips while Wile E. was in the shower.
The coyote shook his head, smiling despite himself, as he left for the hallway, quickly finding the bathroom as the door was open. It was cleaned very recently, if the smell of bleach was any indication. Poor Kevin would have to be cleaning it again after this, Wile E. mused.
It had been years… no, probably decades… since his last shower. Again, they didn’t really have them in the desert, though he could probably build something in his cave if he really wanted to.
But, for now, he’d take the tiny bathtub/shower hybrid in his lawyer-turned-friend’s apartment.
After figuring out which knob did what, Wile E. stood directly under the shower head and cranked the ‘hot’ knob all the way up. Unfortunately, he was not prepared for the deluge of cold water hitting him, causing his body to twist away from the stream in surprise and his paws to slip underneath him. He fell to the floor of the tub with a glorious SMACK, the flailing of his limbs pulling the curtain down with him.
After untangling himself from that chaos, he took a moment to soak himself under the now hot water and breathe.
It felt… like absolute heaven.
Dirt washed off of him already, brown water pooling at the bottom of the tub before flowing down the drain. Every inch of his tired, worn body felt remarkably relaxed and warmed. The only sound filling the small room was the water, cascading onto the white fiberglass bathtub and plastic shower curtain.
Wile E. shut his eyes, inhaling steam and exhaling decades worth of tension.
After a few moments, he lazily reached over to grab the bottle of shampoo Paige had given him; this time, he noticed that said bottle was about halfway full.
Paige lent me her personal bottle of shampoo to try?
He stared down at it, the young woman’s face flashing in his mind. She was so… selfless and kind. Nothing made her happier than to help others. And Wile E. was lucky enough to be included.
Blinking water out of his eyes rapidly, the coyote squirted a generous amount of shampoo into his palm and began working it through his fur. The slick, purple substance washed away even more dust and dirt, the aroma dancing around Wile E.’s nose as he scrubbed himself with his claws.
As he closed his eyes again, he heard the faint sound of Kevin’s laughter in the other room. The toon couldn’t help but smile.
Kevin, though a bit more discreet about it than Paige, was the kind of person who would do anything for a loved one. The man had been… sort of sad, in Wile E.’s opinion, at first, but he really came through at the end of the case. Now he had the trust of many other cartoons involved with Project Sisyphus and beyond— and for good reason.
And now the three of them– the four of them– were tight, like a little… family. Something unfamiliar to the loner coyote since leaving his father’s den so many years ago.
Wile E.’s eyes began to sting (from the shampoo, he assumed); he blinked again, shaking his head as the soapy liquid ran down his body.
He scrubbed, and rinsed, and scrubbed, and rinsed, and scrubbed, and rinsed… until the water began to run clear.
As he was about to turn the water off, the bathroom door slid open– just a crack at first– Roadie’s head peering through with a warning ‘beep’ before he fully entered the room and climbed into the shower with Wile E. shamelessly.
[ I WAS ALMOST DONE… ]
Wile E. crossed one arm over his chest, the other holding the wet sign in the cramped space between them.
[ KEVIN TOLD ME I NEEDED A SHOWER TOO. I DIDN’T PECK HIM TOO HARD… ]
Letting his tongue roll out of his mouth, Roadie turned his sign over.
[ EVEN THOUGH HE’S RIGHT ]
Coyote sighed, stepping aside to let the bird have some room under the stream of water.
[ WASH ME? ]
He didn’t need to be asked twice. Wile E. nodded eagerly, lathering his paws in more lavender-scented shampoo. Once Roadie’s feathers were sufficiently soaked, his mate worked the shampoo through them gently, tenderly. The gorgeous little birdie hummed, leaning into every little touch.
Wile E felt his eyes burn again, but this time it couldn’t be the shampoo; he’d already rinsed it all off of himself. And by the way Roadie was now looking at him, concern filling his big eyes, it seemed that it was noticeable.
Oh.
He was crying.
A gentle wing reached up to touch the side of his face. The poor bird looked so worried, when Coyote could barely tell it was happening, tears mixing with the shower water as they fell.
Thinking about his friends, and all they’d been through together…
It brought on an onslaught of emotion that the toon was not prepared for.
Yes, they lost the case against ACME. They lost a lot of money, too (the law firm did, at least).
But they gained so much more.
And now, his mate stood before him, with such loving concern in his expression and movements– it broke something in Wile E. that lived inside him, unexplored, for 77 long, tiring years.
Did he deserve any of it?
Sniffling, he shook his head, pulling a new sign out.
[ I’M FINE ] was the hollow promise, but the slight tremble of his shoulders betrayed him.
The half clean bird pulled his beloved mate close, nuzzling his snout and producing a sign of his own.
[ IT’S OKAY IF YOU’RE NOT FINE ]
And that was really all it took. Wile E. Coyote screwed his eyes shut, unable to cease the flow of tears. They rolled down his muzzle, Roadrunner pecking them away before they could fall further. His body shook, silent sobs being pulled from his very core.
He had never felt so adored, and he hated how scary it was.
But Roadrunner was determined to show him that he was deserving of adoration, one peck at a time.
The pair stood together in the shower until the water cooled, leaving them sopping wet and raw with unspoken emotion.
Eventually, with a tired sigh, Wile E. turned off the faucet, still clinging to his mate with one paw. Roadie was mostly clean, though they hadn’t bothered to scrub the plume of feathers on top of his head, nor his legs or claws. But it was good enough.
They both climbed out of the shower, making use of two towels stacked on the edge of the sink specifically for them. Wile E. fluffed out Roadie’s feathers, his paws gentle and fond; meanwhile, Roadrunner worked over the coyote’s fur, a bit more energy but plenty of care behind his movements.
In the silence, Wile E. pulled out one more sign, leaving the rest unspoken.
[ THANK YOU ]
—
Half-dried, they slowly made their way back to the living room, finding Kevin and Paige engrossed in some sort of drama on the TV.
“No, I really don’t think he’s gonna propose– oh, hey, you two,” Kevin greeted, watching the pair clamber onto the couch. “How was the shower?”
They didn’t answer him; instead, they practically melted into each other at the corner of the couch, Roadie sitting in Wile E.’s lap. As soon as they were comfortable, the little bird turned to face his coyote and began preening him, working at the damp fur with care to make it even nicer-looking, now that it was dirt-free.
“I think it wore him out,” Paige noted, pointing at Wile E., who was falling asleep slumped over the arm of the couch.
“Ah.” Kevin nodded, watching Roadrunner continue to groom him. “At least he feels safe here.”
“Exactly.”
The lawyers turned their attention back to the TV, chatting idly about whether or not one of the main couples were going to get married.
Eventually, Roadrunner curled up on top of his mate and fell asleep as well, feeling much more content now that his coyote was calm. Kevin and Paige didn’t need to know about what happened in the shower; Wile E. and Roadie could keep that between the two of them.
Even if Kevin did let them (including Paige, because she too fell asleep eventually) crash on his couch for the night.