Chapter Text
September, when Vessa was 12 years old.
“Dawny!! DAWNY! I have gossip!” And that for you, is Matao. Funny enough, I hated him a few months ago and now he brings me grapes daily.
“Really?” I just say that cause I have no idea how to respond to someone saying they have a new story. This is actually pretty rare, people don’t talk to me much about this, let alone Matao.
“Someone, I’m not saying who,” Matao is a gossiper but he keeps things to himself, like names. What is it with this kid and gatekeeping the names? “He’s been crying- and listen to this, because he ‘accidentally’ kissed a GUY!”
“No way! Holy moly..” I had one question though, if he put air quotes around ‘accidentally’… “Did he like it?”
He thought for a second, “From what I’ve heard, yes and no.”
“HAHA! That’s insane, what the heck.” My smile died down, I’ve been having a pretty bad day but thankfully no one seems to notice. I don’t want people asking. Especially not Willow.
“Also I’m staying here today because I have no one to stay with.” Classic Matao. This kid is one of the underdogs, so he has at most, 3 friend groups. He only knows like, 2 people who have a slightly popular status and one of them is me! I never though I would be popular but I am now thanks to Lumi. Lumi…
“Oh, alright. Thanks.” I leave it at that before he starts talking again. I’m usually really quiet, especially around him. I don’t talk much and if I’m having a bad day? Don’t even expect a WORD out of me.
Later that day, I’m texting Lumi and he calls me, again.
“Seriously?? Now, when I’m texting her?” I answer reluctantly and say hi. My calls with him are usually quiet since neither of us are really talkers unless we’re around people we know. “What do you need, I’m texting Lumi?” And…
“Aww your little snuggle be-“
“SHUT UP YOU IDIOT. I swear EVERY time I even MENTION her you do that.”
“Fine, fine..” He always does this. I called Lumi ONE thing and now he thinks I’m one of those weird girlfriends who does that. Just because I show affection to my girlfriend does not mean I’m weird like that.
“Ok seriously, what did you need?” I was kinda in the middle of texting Lumi..
“Nothing, I’m just bored.” I rolled my eyes, this kid..
“OH! I have news!! I have a new plan on how to hold her hand, like actually this time.
“Ooh, okay tell me.” He’s always invested in this. For some odd reason, he liked hearing my weird little plans.
“So..” and you don’t need to hear that. Long story short, we just discussed romance and played games the entire 2 hour call. Yes, it was 2 hours. Neither of us have things to do.
So, after the call ended, I turned on my music and just zoned out drawing.
Later that night, something happened. My door was closed, I was blasting music but I could still hear it. I heard it every day. My music got louder, so did it. I can always hear it. I. Can. Always. Hear. It. Seriously. I just wish it would end, I can’t go a day without hearing it.
Anyway! Instead of laying around blasting my music I should craft something. I have cardboard.. and my mom hasn’t taken the knife I have yet so.. Wall décor! I already have an idea of what I’m gonna make, A little shelf-ish thingy for holding my other crafts.
Crafting is a really good activity to do for this type of day. I’m just alone in my room, listening to music on my speaker and cutting, and cutting, and cutting and taping. I also like it because I don’t really get to do this with school and everything I’m dealing with. Marching band has taken a lot of my time but I don’t mind! As long as Lumi is there, I’ll stay. Funny enough, my mom once got mad and asked me why I joined and had the nerve to ask me, “are you joining because of a boy?” HAH!
No, quite the opposite actually. A GIRL. Yeah mom, your daughters lesbian and its not a phase. Seriously, I’ve made it quite fricking obvious I have a big fat crush on a girl and she’s still denying her daughter likes women. Honestly, would it kill you to understand people can find out their identities at a young age? When I came out to her she seriously told me,
“Are you sure..?” YES IM SURE MOM. I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, WHAT TYPE OF ‘phase’ IS THAT? Ok, I need to calm down. It is not a phase.
Through all this frustrated-ness, I realized my hand holding the knife had been migrating somehow and ended up alarmingly close to my other arm, holding down the cardboard.
Not today! I can’t go to school on Tuesday with another cut. So, I just put it down and got the hot glue gun ready and realized I should start painting.
I reached the flow state crafting that night, I painted the entire front side and started on glueing it together and that’s a lot of work for 2 hours for me. I took a few scroll breaks and one sit-down-and-think-about-life break. So, a productive day for me! Until I realized I still had social studies homework so I was up at 12 am finishing a country studies project, on my homeland of course.
The next morning when I woke up I felt particularly serene. This never happens. Did someone die? Who had a mental breakdown? I looked around my room and realized the sun was insanely bright. Even if it was 6:05 in the morning, the sunrise looked gorgeous. There really are things to live for.