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Stiles knew it was pathetic, but he didn’t know what else to do. It was the only thing that could pull him out when the darkness became too thick to breathe. He knew he could talk to Scott or Allison about it because they felt it too. He just couldn’t bring himself to. It felt safer to come to this empty place filled with haunted memories. Stiles felt like he could think a little clearer when he was here. It was like Stiles could almost smell the faint smell of trees and cologne that had clung to Derek when he was in this place. It was like he could hear Cora’s laughter echo through the halls. It was almost like they were back, but they weren’t and they weren’t coming back anytime soon.
Stiles heart was heavy with loss, sadness, and the overwhelming darkness and he couldn’t do anything about it. He kept a brave smile on his face for the pack even though he knew they could smell the sadness wafting off him like incense. They tried to get him to talk about it, but after countless times of failing they finally stopped. Instead they conveyed their comfort through small touches and gentle smiles. It was all they could offer him. So Stiles went home to his empty bed as the black consumed him and tore sleep from his slack grip for the hundredth night in a row.
+++
If one’s an incident, two’s a coincidence, and three’s a pattern.
The first time Stiles found himself in front of Derek’s apartment building he didn’t understand. Then he had snuck upstairs and let himself into the apartment just to feel a calm washing over him he hadn’t felt since they had defeated the Darach.
The second time he subconsciously knew what he was doing by the time he had pulled up in the parking lot. He once again snuck in and entered Derek’s old bedroom and laid down in the middle of the floor. His heart thudded against his ribcage thinking of Derek walking through the door. It didn’t happen though and the sadness sunk deeper into his chest.
The third time he had sped his way to the apartment as he felt the itch of a panic attack. Stiles didn’t know why being in that place where so much death and sadness lived he felt at home. Maybe it was the idea of closing his eyes and imagining Derek pressing against his back while Cora pressed her face into his neck. Maybe it was the thought of them sleepily muttering “you’re part of this pack” again. Maybe it was the abandonment he felt after being told he was a part of them and left alone. He had felt love swell inside of him for the both of them. The feeling of family and sister he had with Cora when he hadn’t had that with anyone besides Scott and his own father. The fierce passion he felt whenever Derek was around him because how much he had fallen in love with him.
They had been there when Scott had forgotten Stiles through everything that happened. They were the ones that had kept him grounded. He never thought he would lose them, didn’t think he could live with it if he did, and now he had to suffer everyday trying to look ahead without them. Stiles wouldn’t be the same ever again.
They were never coming back though, and it was something he had to accept.
+++
Stiles had only been caught once in the long six months of squatting in Derek’s old apartment for hours on end. The one time the manager had come in to check on the heating and air system he had found Stiles asleep in Derek’s old room. It had been embarrassing, but the manager had told Stiles he understood. He was also told he had to stop doing this since he had some clients coming within the week. Stiles had nodded before running to his jeep and crying. His haven was being stolen from him. He was going to fall apart.
Three days later he had snuck in early in the morning to say his goodbyes. What else could he do? He couldn’t stop anyone from moving in. It wasn’t his place. Stiles sat in front of the big windows and thought about the countless conversations he had had throughout their short time together. Stiles wished and wished that they would at least call him until he started crying. He was pathetic. Everything about the hyperactive teen felt out of place. He felt lost.
Stiles heard the front door creak open and footsteps slow to a stop. It was probably the manager and he didn’t think he could stand the embarrassment of being caught again. Especially since he was crying like a child. What if his clients were with him? He wiped his face with the sleeve of his button up as he turned towards the person in the room. His heart stopped and then doubled in speed.
Derek was standing in front of him. Stiles had to be hallucinating because Derek had left him behind, yet there he was standing with a face full of shock. Stiles was speechless for once in his life. What could he say? His mouth dropped open as he tried to find the words to convey all the feelings he had. Derek beat him to it with four words: “I missed you too.”
Then Stiles was in his arms holding onto him for dear life because if Derek let go of him now he’d surely die. Stiles pulled Derek’s face close to his and kissed him hard on the mouth. Every heartbeat thrumming with the words, “I love you. I love you. I love you,” until Stiles realized he was saying it out loud. His face lit up red from his abrupt confession, but then Derek was murmuring it back after every kiss he placed on Stiles’ face. Everything those six months had stolen was restored right in that moment. Every touch healed the torment Stiles’ had felt without the Hales holding him up.
“Ahem,” a female voice cleared her throat behind them. “This is sweet and all, but I’m feeling seriously left out.”
Stiles turned with overflowing happiness to look at Cora’s smiling face. He leaped at her and hugged her tight around the neck before pulling Derek into a group hug. Everything was perfect and everything was right for once and Stiles’ family was back together.
“You two are never fucking leaving me again.” Stiles growled into their ears before kissing them both on the cheeks. “Never. Again.”
“We missed you too Stiles.” Cora’s laughed and it echoed throughout the apartment like it was meant to.