Chapter Text
As soon as Batiba's furry arms loosened just enough for her to move again, Raissa dropped to the floor. The cool moss chilled her to the core as she heaved and sobbed. She wanted to curl in on herself. She wanted to lie down and just cry her eyes out forever. Distantly she could hear them talking, just outside her field of view. Muffled and confused. The little pebbles and twigs in the floor dug into her palms as she clenched her hands, pulling up the moss in her hands and not caring for once about the dirt under her nails it caused.
There was a hot, tight, ball of grief and rage and regret in her ribcage. She's always been emotional. Anxious and sensitive, though she was good at hiding it. The sensitive part, not the anxiety. But this felt overwhelming. Soul-crushing.
Jo was gone.
Well, not gone gone, but…her Jo was gone. In a manner of speaking. Their entire friendship was gone, one-sided.
A heavy hand on her shoulder forced her eyes to focus again. The blurry tears become secondary to her as she turns as quickly as she can. It's Jo. Of course it's Jo. She's kneeling beside her, that stupid sympathetic concerned look on her face. The one she makes when she walks in on Raissa neck deep in books and energy drinks, on the verge of a full blown panic attack over calculations that might as well be written in latin as far as Jo is concerned. The one she makes when she doesn't know what's going on but she can tell Raissa isn't okay.
“Hey,” Jo's voice is soft and quiet and gentle, a slight lopsided grin appearing, “Hey, you okay?”
For a moment, for one glorious moment, Raissa thinks that maybe Jo isn't lost to her. But reality crashes on her before she can even get a word out. Her breathing comes out fast and unevenly. She bites her nail and sputters when she tastes the dirt.
She needed to think, to stop and breathe. The distant rumbling of the cave-in reverberated in her skull; Hopefully Raww was holding up okay on his own.. Part of her internally rolls her eyes at the same time her mouth opens and says softly, “Who let the dogs out?”
Jo looks at her confused and bewildered, glancing behind them at Batiba who is still standing there watching them like a science project.
“Who-” Raissa shuts her eyes tight and tries to focus on breathing and maybe a little bit on Jo's hand on her shoulder, “Who- Who. Who.”
It works…because it's always worked even since Jo first got her to do it.
“Sorry,” Her voice cracks as she rushes to brush it off and stand, “Sorry- I-”
She turns to face Jo better, they're both standing now. Jo's giving her a once-over. Studying her. Raissa fights the urge to hide. She's no stranger to Jo's eyes on her, but something about it right now feels…weird. Jo's eyes linger in places she's never noticed before. It makes her stomach flip and turn, her face going red and warm.
Did Jo always do that to her or is it because they're strangers to her now?
She awkwardly sticks her hand out, the one where she used to wear the bracelet, “I'm Raissa.”
Jo looks to Batiba once more before quickly and strongly taking Raissa's hand, “Jo- WOAH- Where'd I get this sick bracelet from?”
Raissa bit her tongue, gently reaching out to slide the bracelet from Jo's wrist, “Th-That's mine. Sorry. I just- Don't worry about it.”
“If it's yours-” Jo yanked her arm back, looking at Raissa suspiciously, “Then why is it on my wrist?”
“It was dumb, just- Can I just have it back, Jo? Please? It means…It means everything to me. Please.”
Her voice was small and quiet, her lip trembling as she fought back more tears. Jo's defensive stance melted a little as she watched Raissa struggle to keep it together. Slowly she let Raissa take her hand, sliding up to the bracelet and gently tugging it off. Raissa swallows thickly; unable to stop herself, she lingers at Jo's hand with both of her own. Jo's hands were always bigger than her own, rough and calloused. If Jo thinks anything of the pause, she stays silent.
God, I must look pathetic.
“You sure you okay, dude?”
So much for silence.
“Yeah. Yes. I just- Yes,” She looks up, meeting Jo's gaze for the first time head on since leaving the trance. She felt her heart leap into her throat, everything bubbling up back to the surface. She can't stop the tears blurring her vision or the forced laugh, “I can't believe I let this happen. I can't believe I-I-I could be so…so stupid. I should have just…listened to you.”
Jo didn't pull away, didn't flinch, though she still looked confused. She flipped her hand around in Raissa's so she could better grip it. Jo's thumb rubbing along her knuckles in a way that gave her the slimmest hope that maybe she wasn't too late.
“What are you talking about? Listened to me about what? I don't- How do you even know me?”
“I'm Raissa,” She could hear the blood rushing in her ears as she took a step closer, invading Jo's personal space, “You're my best friend. You…You are everything to me and- And I took it all for granted and-”
She takes another risk, emboldened by Jo simply staying. She wasn't pulling away nor did she seem uncomfortable. Raissa let go of Jo's hand, instead bringing her hands to cup Jo's face. She grimaced but still held her ground, refusing to back down.
“I'm gonna fix this. I'm gonna- I don't know! I'm going to figure something out and-” A twig snaps, Raissa stands at attention, turning to face the culprit.
Batiba.
“Wait you- You gave us back our camera, you can give her back her bracelet!” The grief and sadness twists and turns inside her, turning molten and red-hot and angry, “Give Jo her memory back.”
Batiba nervously laughs, taking a wary step back and avoiding eye contact, “Well- Well I suppose. In a way…I could but- Well. Jo made a deal. I'm honoring that deal. Your life for her memories. You…Well, unless you want to make another deal-”
Raissa tsks, “No. No deals. You don't need her memories. You don't- I didn't need your portal key to get back, I don't need it to leave. Why can't you just-”
“Just what? Give up? Give you what you want because you say so? You don't need the portal key, so why not leave? It's you who said you never wanted to see your friend again. What's stopping you? Why come back and cause all this trouble when I just did her a favor.”
“If you won't fix her, then I'll find someone who will,” Raissa has migrated across the cave, up close and personal with Batiba. She's had possibly the longest two days of her life and she's had it up to here with all of this running around and wild goose chases, “And if I can't…If no one else can, then I will. I-I'll figure something out.”
“Now- Now let's do anything rash, okay? Maybe I can- Why don't we all just stop for a second and-”
Batiba's anxious bumbling ends abruptly. The rumbling of rocks and roots ceased. But it wasn't quiet, there was a new sound. The quiet shrill sound of Manang getting closer as she breathed. Raissa could feel Manang gaining ground in the winding cave system. Her heart drops. Instinctively her hand grabs Jo's, squeezing it tight and entwining their fingers as the dread washes over her. Jo, still looking mildly lost, squeezes back and it comforts her worry even if just a miniscule amount.
Batiba starts shoving them both towards another pathway, “Go! Go go go- We- We have to- You have to leave!”
“What-?” Jo shouted, still struggling to comprehend everything going on around her. Raissa tugged Jo towards her, “You took Manang's memories! Just give them back!”
“BATIBA! What did you take?!”
“I-I-I- Okay! Okay, I just- I have to find it!” Batiba begins to fret, flittering around the room scrounging for something.
“What does it look like?” Raissa finally let go of Jo's hand, as much as she didn't want to, wandering to a box of junk, “We can help you find it?”
“It's a gem! It's sort of purple-” Batiba looked downright frightened, “Gosh, I can't believe I misplaced this. No no no- Stupid stupid-”
Jo slid onto her knees beside Batiba, “Hey, hey don't- You're not stupid. I don't know what's really going on but, let's just…look for this jewel, alright?”
“Purple gem…” Raissa recognized that description, it was the memory Jo touched when they woke up on the beach that morning, “Wait, I- I remember that gem! You tucked it away…over here I think? This morning, after Jo tried to grab it!”
She rushed to the vines hanging by some shelves in the back of the cave. Vaguely she thinks she hears Manang getting closer, but what she hears louder is the rushing sound of the wind and Jo shouting out to her. Raissa is tackled into the dirt, barely dodging a blue and orange fireball that scorches the wall in front of her. Her ears were ringing, her glasses askew, and all she could do was stare up at Jo on top of her. Jo's face is inches away from her own, which is far from the first time but with the adrenaline thrumming something gives Raissa pause this time. She swears that she sees Jo's eyes glance towards her lips, smirking just barely noticeably before meeting her eyes again.
“You okay?”
The two of them are dragged from the trance as Manang rushes into view, breathing heavily and furiously scanning the room. Smoke trailed after her as she exhaled, “Batiba…”
Batiba was hiding. Hidden in a cocoon of roots where Raissa had last seen her. Manang’s eyes locked with Raissa, stalking towards her at a snail’s pace. She felt fear take root in her bones, but Jo shifted to stand between the two. She hadn’t even noticed Jo roll off her, she scrambled back up to her feet behind Jo.
“Where is she?!”
Raissa’s eyes glanced at the cocoon. It was glowing green, vaguely in her peripheral she sees movement in the dark. Batiba’s roots. She was, hopefully, still looking for the gem. They just had to…stall. Great.
Stalling however…was already impossible. Because all it took for Manang to catch on was that single glance and she was on the cocoon. Slashing at it and spitting flames, desperately trying to break it open. The fire licked at the roots angrily, sputtering and splashing out around Manang. Some of the vines and their memory vessels burning and catching fire on the sparks. Raissa felt her feet moving faster than her brain as she stumbled past Jo. She grabbed at everything she could, trying to salvage them from the flames as the fire spread. Jo was quick to follow suit. Her aimless frantic grasping came back to bite her as she grabbed a metal plate, burning her hand and forcing her to drop it hard onto the floor. The drop should have been cushioned by the moss, but it struck a rock. Manang stopped her efforts at breaking the cocoon to whip around, lashing out with a long arm at Raissa. Her claws leave a deep gash into one of the trees. Raissa yelped as she dropped to her knees, ducking and shuffling across the dirt until her back hit the wall.
Manang shot fire at her again and she narrowly dodged it. Raissa didn't stop moving, rolling away and running across the space as she could hear Manang charging up to shoot again.
“STOP!”
Everything in the room froze. Batiba rose up as the cocoon split open, a sparkling purple gem in her hands. The dreaded manananggal’s attention was completely locked on Batiba, rage and fear switching as rapidly as her breath, “What did you take, Batiba?”
“A part of who you are…I thought-” Batiba’s eyes nervously shift and lock with Raissa’s gaze, “I thought I was taking things no one would miss. That I was giving these unloved moments a home. I was wrong. Our memories are what make us who we are…and I am sorry for what your loss has done to you. But I would like to…begin to make that up to you, if you will let me.”
She cautiously began to step closer, Raissa taking the chance to scurry further away from Manang. She bit her tongue, scared to speak, to breathe. Manang looked wary, tense, uncomfortable; She let out a shaky breath, taking a step forward and meeting Batiba halfway, “Please.”
Raissa jumped at the feeling of someone behind her, Jo was tucking her hands under her arms to lift her up. She found herself forgetting again that Jo wasn’t all there anymore. At least she forgot until Jo shot her a smirk when she let her own hand linger on her’s. The small gesture left Raissa’s face warm as she averted her eyes, “Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it, irog.”
“Wha-” She can’t stop herself from giggling, this was an all new side to Jo. Like completely new. Now that she’s thinking about it, Raissa’s not even sure she’s seen Jo treat anyone like this, let alone herself, “Why’re you- Stop that.”
Jo’s hand brushes against her’s, “Why? D’ya not like it or…?”
“It’s weird. You’re acting weird,” She says it with a smile and endearingly, but Jo’s face falls and Raissa gasps, “Wait no- N-Not like that! I mean you’re great, you’re perfect! I just- You’ve never called me that is all.”
“Well,” Jo huffs, “Sounds like I was wasting time then.”
She didn’t know how to respond. What did that even mean? Raissa takes to nervously chewing on her thumbnail, ignoring the dirt as she avoids looking at Jo. Or…as she tries to avoid looking at Jo. She found herself constantly gravitating back to her best friend, long after Jo’s attention drifted. Jo was examining things all around the room, all the small artifacts and personal affections littered around the space on vines and shelves. Raissa tried to follow suit, eyes trailing around at the items, but the movement in Batiba’s green eyes caught her attention. She squinted as she focused on the scenes playing out, feeling like someone dropped ice cubes down her shirt as she realized what was going on. Images of Batiba and Manang both playing like old family videos: Manang in the cave eating what looked to be tilapia maybe beside Batiba as she cooked something else, the two of them dancing-
Raissa’s eyes shot back down to the floor, feeling all too exposed like she was intruding by seeing the memories. Her hand brushed Jo’s again and Jo took that as a signal to take her hand in her own. The comfort was small but welcome. Specks of color in the moss caught her eyes, a bright but weather cyan and purple thread…a small gallery of tokens and charms.
Burnt.
The bracelet was burnt. Jo’s bracelet. Raissa’s stomach dropped as she let go of Jo’s hand, rushing to the remnants of the friendship bracelet on the floor. The firecracker had popped at some point, the bottom half of the manananggal was missing a wing and a leg was shriveled up and black from char, the perler beaded charms were melted together and an ugly mass of plastic. The thread was broken in two.
“No…no no no- No,” She can’t stop the tears from welling up in her eyes again, it can’t be broken, what if it being broken means the memories can’t be recovered, what if- A hand on her shoulder spooks her again. Jo is looking down at her with worry and Raissa can’t force any words out of her quivering lips.
Manang and Batiba part, the returning of memory finished. Manang’s hand lingers on one of Batiba’s, though only for a moment. Manang nods silently to Batiba before taking another step away, pausing only to glance and frown at Raissa and Jo on the floor. She doesn’t speak as she simply exits the cave quickly. Batiba gasps as she spots the crispy bracelet in Raissa’s hands, “Oh no…”
“Y-You can fix it, right? Right?” She swallows thickly, sniffling as she gasps for air, “Please fix it.”
Batiba shuffles closer to the two girls, kneeling beside them both, one of her big furry hands covers the bracelet, “I’m sorry, girls. I…I can’t…If the item is damaged, there’s nothing I can do with it to return those memories…”
Raissa stifles a sob as the full knowledge of what is gone hits her. Without hesitation she swings around into Jo, throwing her arms around Jo’s shoulders and tucking her face into her neck as she cries. Jo’s stiff for a moment before awkwardly and gently wrapping her own arms around Raissa, brushing her hair with one hand. Jo’s memories of her, of their friendship, were gone. Completely and totally erased. And there was nothing she could do to fix it.
“Hey. Hey, look at me, Raissa, look at me,” Jo’s voice coaxed her off of her for a moment, holding her by the shoulders so they could look at each other, “It’s alright. We’re all…fine, right? So I’m missing a few screws…that’s fine. You still have those memories, right? Then you can…you can remember for the both of us, yeah?”
The repetition of one of the last things she said before Raissa left Nakali the first time made her feel like there was a rock tied to her heart dragging it down. But she was right in a way. The memories aren’t completely gone, Raissa still has her’s. She wiped the tears from her face, slowly gathering her strength.
“Right. Right,” It felt like a light bulb went off above her head, “Just- Just because…Batiba can’t help, maybe…maybe there’s another way. Maybe I can- Or we- I’ll find someone who can help or I’ll…figure something out! I won’t-”
Jo was looking at her with this look in her eyes, it couldn’t be pride in this situation but…maybe endearment. It made Raissa sputter, an invisible weight lifting off her shoulders. She can do this. She has to do this.
Raissa surged forward, taking Jo’s face in her hands and pressing their foreheads close, “I’m gonna figure it out. I’m not leaving you behind. I-I don’t…I won’t forget you.”
She stands, a little unsteady still, and Jo pulls up beside her. Batiba looks wary and guilty, nodding to them. Raissa fixes Batiba with a look, “Don’t even- You’ve done enough, Batiba. Please leave Jo alone while she’s here.”
Batiba looked offended, upset, hurt, but if she has anything to say, she misses the opportunity. Raww comes running down the tunnel, shouting and barking as he calls for Raissa and Jo.
“Raww!” Raissa rushes forward, catching him as the small brown dog leapt into her arms.
He jumped back down and transformed back to his usual form, “What happened?! What was with Manang?! We just saw her leave the tunnel and she looked like…totally different! Like chill like-! Jo!”
His attention shifted rapidly to the other one as he ran over to Jo and hugged her, she cautiously hugged him back, “Hey…”
“D-Did you- Did it work? Did-”
Raissa’s face dropped back to the floor as she pocketed the bracelet, “No. No, um, Jo’s memories are…gone. For good. But, it’s fine! It’s totally okay, I’m- I’m gonna figure something out and fix this. Without Batiba’s help.”
She took Jo’s hand and began making their way out of the cave, not wanting to linger here any longer. She was surprised to see Mermahn and Bungi waiting by the jeepney, Jo’s sarimanok huddled on top of the old wreck. She skidded to a stop in the sand, her hand clenching Jo’s as their friends approached them. Jo whispered, leaning into Raissa’s taller frame, “What’s up?”
“I don’t know what to tell them.”
“Oh. Don’t worry about it, I got this,” Jo let go of her hand and marched forward, arms wide as she hugged the two as if nothing happened at all, “Guess who's vacay just got extended?! This gall's!”
Raissa chuckled softly as she began to walk over to the group. Raww came running behind her again, grabbing her arm and stopping her, “Hey- Raissa- Can we…Can I ask about…what happened?”
His voice was so much more gentle than she was used to, Raissa glanced back at Jo before returning her attention to Raww, “I wasn't fast enough. I-I couldn't…I couldn't stop Batiba and by the time the opportunity to just…return them arose…”
She pulls the thread and plastic from her pocket, showing it to her friend, “It was too late. Batiba says she can't use a broken item to return a memory.”
“Right…yeah,” Raww looked melancholic, it was so uncharacteristic, “Makes sense. So what…what are we gonna do? What's- I mean, is Jo like…okay?”
Raissa looked at Jo, laughing with Mermahn and Bungi at something, “Yes. She's…she's alright. I don't really know…what to do for now, but…I’m gonna figure something out. I think I'm gonna go back home and…go to CalTech and- I mean, if my bracelet works to open a portal, then I'll just visit when I can. Maybe I can find something in school that will be of help. Maybe there's others who have visited or know someone who did? I don't know. But I'll definitely be back, I'm not leaving her behind. I can't.”
Raww nodded, “Right. What about Jo?”
“I think,” Raissa sighed fondly, “I think I'll ask her what she wants, but I have a feeling she'll be staying here for a while.”
Her parents were going to kill her.
She went out with Jo. She didn't come back that night. She was gone the entire next day. She missed her flight. She still hasn't come home. The list was endless and still growing. Maybe her parents might be worried by now, she's effectively missing. However as things currently stand…her mother is probably more worried she's in prison with Jo or something of equal ruination. But she couldn't worry about all of that right now. Right now, she needs to make sure Jo is settled and safe before she returns to the real world.
“And that's when I alone stood against the duwende army and-”
“Yeah. That never happened,” Raww scoffed, interrupting Mermahn's attempts to regale Jo with false narratives from the gaps in her memory.
Jo laughed as she leaned back into Raissa behind her, “So what is the truth, Raissa? Did Mermahn heroically save us from a blood-thirsty duwende army? Or is he full of shit?”
“Oh, I- I mean, he's completely full of it. But why are you…asking me?”
“Dunno,” Jo shrugged, “I mean, you're my best friend forever apparently, right? So…unless you're also lying to me, then I guess I assumed you would be the one I should trust the most, yeah?”
Raissa's grip around Jo's waist tightened slightly but if Jo noticed, she didn't say anything, “Yeah…duh.”
The sarimanok skidded to a stop finally, plopping down just outside the treeline of a familiar swamp. The kapre village. Jo's new home…for now, at least. Mermahn and Raww were still bickering behind them as they slid off the large bird. Jo offers a hand to Raissa on her way down and winks. The change in treatment was so small, part of her can’t believe she’s paying so much attention to it. She and Jo were always affectionate and joked about these things, but that was before, that was after growing up together. This was…well, Jo didn’t have all of that history, all she had was…Raissa in front of her telling her how much she meant to her. And she still somehow trusted her. Was it because she felt bad for Raissa? Or was she behaving like this because she was simply afraid of being…alone?
Datu stomped over to them, clearly surprised but happy to see them again so soon, “Jo! Raissa! You’re…back?”
“Missed us that bad, huh?” Another kapre walked up from behind him with a wide, easy smile.
Raissa smiled sadly, “I wish it was as simple as that…can we talk in the village?”
She’s not really sure why she’s so nervous about talking about it out here in the open. It’s not like there’s anyone hunting them down anymore, Manang has disappeared back to her side of the island. The six of them made a mostly silent walk; aside from Raww and Mermahn at the back at least, something about Raww stepping on one of Mermahn’s fins? Datu sits them in a circle towards the center of the village and a few other kapre have joined them. All of the curious eyes on her made Raissa’s stomach uneasy. She nervously played with her hair while everyone settled down into seats, another kapre handing some bowls of food to their group. Raissa smiles but nervously shakes her head. She’s not sure she can stomach food right now.
“Sorry, I’m just…It’s been a really long…two days,” Jo accepts the bowls for both of them, nudging Raissa with her elbow before resting the second bowl between them, a clear gesture that the food will still be there for her if she changes her mind.
Despite the gesture, Jo doesn’t say anything to add to the conversation, instead eagerly eating as if she hasn’t eaten all day. Raissa smiles to herself and rolls her eyes before turning to face Datu, “Jo’s lost her memory. Not like…everything ever but, well specifically me. She doesn’t remember me.”
She hates how small her voice gets when she says it.
“Oh…Raissa,” One of the kapre place a comforting hand on her shoulder and she takes a deep breath, “No, it’s fine. I-It’s fine, it’s- It’s a really long story, just…I’m working on it. I’m gonna figure out how to fix it, I just- Well- I was thinking, while she doesn’t have her memory…maybe she could…stay here, with you? I’ll be visiting! I-I-I promise, I’m going to find some time after classes start to come back and hopefully once I get my schedule sorted out better, I’ll be able to visit more often? Like maybe weekly or something like that? I don’t know, I haven’t really gotten that far yet, I just- It would mean a lot to us, to me, if she was safe with the kapre.”
She swallows hard and she sucks in another breath, realizing she’d been holding it in that whole time, “I mean…without her lola, you’re sort of like…the next closest thing to a family she has in a way? I mean aside from me but I’m going to be in America and- And I can’t- I won’t be able to be there and take care of her and-”
Datu chuckles, “Of course it’s okay! You’re both welcome to the village anytime!”
They spend about two hours settling a small lean-hut for Jo within the village, some of the other kapre offering to work on something a little more sustainable over the next few nights. Raissa and Jo spent a little extra time with Datu explaining the situation better, he seemed saddened but not surprised to hear about Batiba’s meddling with their memories or the loss of the bracelet. Eventually it got late enough that Raissa really couldn’t put it off any longer, she had to leave. Raww and Mermahn had already said their goodbyes earlier, off to get into some mischief and cause problems no doubt. So it was just herself and Jo at the beach.
Raissa slid uncomfortably into the driver’s seat of the jeepney, it felt wrong. Jo was always the “driver” between the two of them. Jo was leaning on the outside of the vehicle, poking her head in and looking at all the pictures, she looked like she wanted to say something. Raissa plucked a couple off the clips along the dash and handed them to Jo, “Take them. They’re your pictures after all. Consider them…housewarming gifts. For kapre village.”
Jo nodded, flipping through the images of herself, Raissa, and her grandmother, “Thanks…”
Raissa sighed, whiteknuckling the steering wheel in front of her, “I wish this was easier. I wish- I wish you were coming with me. I’ll be back though.”
Jo didn’t look up, just hummed and half-heartedly nodded, staring at the pictures still.
“Hey,” Raissa lifted Jo’s head to face her, “I mean it. I’m coming back. I-I don’t know when I’ll have time after I get to CalTech, but…I’ll be back. I promise. I’m not leaving you behind.”
She could feel the tears welling up behind her glasses as her heart got stuck in her throat, she dragged Jo into a crushing hug, “I promise. I- Without you, I’m nothing, okay? There is no CalTech without you having been there to give me the courage to leave. You’re my wings, Jo.”
When they separated, Raissa realized Jo was crying too, clearly afraid of being left alone even if she didn’t remember her. Raissa took a deep breath and tried to start willing her bracelet to reopen the portal. Part of her selfishly hoped it wouldn’t, she wants to go to CalTech but she still can’t stomach the thought of Jo being left alone here in Nakali. She’s both elated and shocked as the sand around them begins to light up and glow.
“Jo, you have to go-” Raissa is cut off by Jo roughly grabbing her face and pulling her towards her into a kiss. It’s short, rough, and somehow too much too quickly and too little gone too fast for Raissa’s brain to catch up.
Jo has a smug look as she bolts outside of the circle, leaving Raissa dumbfounded as the jeepney drops into the portal.