Chapter Text
Kaladin was never meant to be grounded. He was made to fly, to exist in the air above it all.
He’d cried the first time he’d flown with lashings. Finally able to greet the skies again after so long being ripped away from them. It had been joyous in the moment. He remembered being a kid and flying around Hearthstone with Laral, swooping through clouds and flying with the birds. Up above it all where it felt like nothing could touch him. He remembered flying in Amaram’s army. They had taken him to train to fight with his wings, which meant being among lighteyes. It wasn’t unheard of for a darkeyes to have wings but it was rare. He quickly became one of the army’s best winged warriors and became the captain of a darkeyed squadron.
Kaladin cried. Relieved that he could greet the skies again, but overwhelmed with the sense of loss that he shouldn’t have needed surgebinding to take the skies. They should have just belonged to him. Just another thing the lighteyes took.
***
“Hey Kal,” Adolin said, swooping down and landing next to the new captain of the Cobalt Guard.
“Princeling,” Kaladin said, not taking his eyes off Bridge Four’s training.
“When do you get off duty today?”
“I’m off duty right now. I’m just overseeing some training.”
Adolin laughed and Kaladin turned to look at him, confused. “You really don’t know how to relax do you Bridgeboy.”
“Now isn’t the time to slack off.”
“Is it slacking off if I’m talking you out to dinner?”
Kaladin flushed. He and Adolin have been casually courting for a while now, but it still made him blush every time to think about it. They went on dates sometimes, though they were both too busy to really make a habit of it, and most of their dates were in the private of their own rooms, away from prying eyes, and they never went beyond talking, or cuddling, or kissing. Vorinism had no problems with two men courting, but doing anything before marriage was strictly prohibited.
“I’ll come to your quarters once I’m done here,” Kaladin said.
Adolin grinned and pressed a chaste kiss to Kaladin’s cheek. “Don’t be too long.”
Kaladin found himself smiling as he turned back to keep watching Bridge Four train. He paused as he found they were all staring back at him and not training.
“The drill isn’t over, back to formation.”
Bridge Four followed their captain’s orders, but they giggled and smiled to themselves the rest of the training session.
***
Kaladin knocked gently on Adolin’s door. Adolin opened it immediately, grinning from ear to ear. Kaladin, taken aback, noticed that he was dressed up. He was dressed immaculately in a royal blue coat that resembled his normal uniform but was a deeper blue with delicate gold embroidery on the cuffs. His wings were spread out behind him, adorned now with gold chains and jewelry. Adolin’s wings were the most beautiful Kaladin had ever seen, a deep raven black speckled with a light brown gold color. Looking at them now made Kaladin ache with longing.
“See something you like Bridgeboy?”
Kaladin glanced away from where he was admiring Adolin’s wings. “You didn’t tell me you were dressing up.”
“Do you even own anything that’s not your uniform?”
“Well, no.”
“Well then we’ll have to fix that some time.”
Kaladin rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t have any occasion to wear something fancy like that.”
Adolin pulled Kaladin close. “I suppose I’ll just have to make more occasions then.”
Kaladin smiled and leaned in and kissed Adolin. The kiss was long and passionate, but eventually Adolin broke it, much to Kaladin’s disappointment.
“I got food from the kitchens.”
Kaladin glanced behind Adolin at the table where Adolin had spread out enough food to feed five people. Kaladin smiled and sat down, watching Adolin as he turned to get wine out of a cabinet.
Kaladin watched the curve of Adolin’s wings, eyes settling on the spot where they connected to his back. He loved that spot, loved how sensitive it was when he ran just the ghost of a touch down Adolin’s spine. It was the only expanse of skin that was always exposed, all of Adolin’s uniforms and jackets had holes cut out in the back for his wings to fit through.
Kaladin felt that familiar ache of longing. He didn’t always feel this way. Some days he could just admire Adolin’s beautiful wings without thinking of the loss of his own. He tried to remind himself it didn’t matter. That he could fly with stormlight. But it did matter. It mattered in a way Kaladin couldn’t quite put into words. Stormlight was different from your own flesh and blood.
Adolin turned around with a bottle of orange wine and Kaladin pulled himself out of his thoughts. He wasn’t there, in that moment, with blinding pain ripping through his back, blood dripping down his spine, he was here, with Adolin, his boyfriend.
They ate the food and talked. Mostly Adolin talked, Kaladin listening, but Kaladin shared some of the progresses Bridge Four has been making with his training, and his own progress training with his radiant powers.
When they finished eating Adolin seemed a lot more fidgety, wings twitching as Kaladin told him about the newest run of tests Sigzil was having him do with his adhesion powers.
“I have a present for you,” Adolin said eventually, once Kaladin had finished his story.
“A present? This isn’t our anniversary, or anything is it?” Kaladin asked, suddenly worried he’d missed it.
Adolin got this dopey lovestruck look on his face before it was quickly filled with more nerves. “Here.” Adolin handed Kaladin a small white box tied with a Kholin blue ribbon.
Kaladin looked from the box to Adolin. Adolin usually wasn’t one for giving gifts. He’d tried when they first started courting, giving Kaladin expensive jewels and trinkets, but he quickly figured out that Kaladin would never wear anything above his station, even if he was a Storming Knight Radiant he still thought of himself as a darkeyed captain. So then what could this be?
Kaladin untied the ribbon carefully, instead of cutting it. Inside the box was a single feather, black and tipped with gold. Kaladin felt his heart swell with emotion.
It was a common ritual among lighteyes, exchanging feathers as a promise to marry. Kaladin felt the joy first, looking up to Adolin who flushed and smiled, waiting for Kaladin to give a full answer. Adolin wanted to marry him. It was the most unbelievable statement Kaladin had ever thought. He never imagined that his life would be what it is now. A Knight Radiant with the most kind loving boyfriend Kaladin could have ever asked for. He wanted to say yes, needed to, but the tradition was supposed to be and exchange, saying yes would mean Kaladin giving one of his feathers to Adolin.
The silence seemed to stretch on for a little too long and Adolin felt the sudden need to explain himself—why would Kaladin know anything about lighteyed marriage rituals. “It’s um, one of my feathers. Usually, lighteyes exchange feathers to show their love for one another and as a first present before marriage. Um. . . I know you don’t have wings, but I thought. . . I love you Kal, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you—”
Kaladin broke into tears. All the grief he’d pushed down since loosing his wings coming back in full force. He hadn’t had time to think about it since becoming a slave, and shortly after he’d become a Knight Radiant, which had healed the hole in his heart a little, though he didn’t realize just how much he missed his wings until now.
“What’s wrong? You don’t have to say yes. You don’t. . . I just love you so much Kal,” Adolin said stepping forward and taking the box from Kaladin’s shaking hands, setting it on the table. Adolin hugged Kaladin, holding him close as he sobbed into Adolin’s shirt. They stood like that for a long time until Kaladin’s sobs turned to quiet sniffles
“Do you not want to?” Adolin asked. “We don’t have to. We can just keep doing what we’re doing now. I don’t want to move too fast if you’re not ready.”
Kaladin shook his head. It wasn’t that. He loved Adolin. Of course he wanted to marry him. “I just wish I could give you one of mine,” Kaladin said.
“One of your what’s?” Adolin asked, confused.
“Feathers.”
Adolin froze. “What?”
“I used to have wings,” Kaladin said.
“Used to? I don’t understand.”
“He took them from me.”
Adolin felt cold rage burn deep in his stomach. He knew exactly who Kaladin was talking about without having to ask again. Kaladin hadn’t mentioned Amaram much, or his past in his army or as a slave, but Adolin knew it had been Amaram who had turned him into a slave.
“Kal I’m so sorry,” Adolin said, holding Kaladin tighter. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I can fly anyway so it’s not like it matters.”
Adolin pulled back a little and cupped Kaladin’s face in his hands. “Of course it matters. He hurt you. I’ll never let anyone hurt you like that again. I promise.”
Kaladin smiled and looked to the feather, still in it’s box, discarded on the table.
Adolin glanced at it too. “You don’t have to take it if you don’t want the reminder hanging around.”
Kaladin picked the feather out of the box, examining it for the first time. “It reminds me of you. I’ll just have to figure out something else to give you.”
Adolin smiled, realizing what Kaladin was meaning. He was agreeing. Agreeing to get married. “Yeah? Well do people without wings exchange anything when they get married?”
“Rings,” Kaladin said.
“Well I look forward to receiving one.”
Kaladin rolled his eyes, but he was smiling, already picturing himself giving it to Adolin. “You’re so spoiled.”
“And yet you still love me.”
“I know,” Kaladin said. “I’m such an idiot,” Kaladin leaned in and pressed a kiss to Adolin’s lips.