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Damian wasn’t sure how his father even found out– nor did he particularly care– and he most definitely was unsure of how he felt about it. He didn’t know why father had told him in the first place. But he was still grateful for the information. Even if it hurt a little.
What had father told him that conflicted him so?
Todd had saved Joker Junior and had taken him in as his own.
He had a lot of mixed feelings on it. Damian was almost hurt by it. Todd had picked someone else– a stranger– over him. But if Todd hadn’t left him, then Damian would never have started living with father. He would never have met Grayson or Jonathan and made those connections otherwise. Damian wouldn’t be living the life he has if Todd had taken him with him when he fled the League of Assassins.
So, yes. Damian had a lot of conflicting feelings towards Todd taking Joker Junior in.
Father would say it was for the best, that Joker Junior was better off with Todd. He’d call Junior “Tim” then explain why. He’d brush off any of Damian’s questions. Which just showed that there was some sort of personal connection between father and Junior. But any digging that Damian did led him nowhere.
There were roadblocks on the Batcomputer. Grayson and both of the Gordons would shoot down his questions related to Joker Junior. Pennyworth would just change the subject entirely.
It was beyond incredibly frustrating.
Damian felt like he was just a pawn in their world. It didn’t feel fair at all.
A huff left his lips as he sat on his bed. Damian pulled Alfred the cat close to his chest and buried his face into the cat’s fur. Not fair at all. Damian almost wanted to talk to Todd and get his side of the story. But he also didn’t. He didn’t know what he wanted to do. What he should do.
Two days after learning of Todd’s rescue of Joker Junior, Damian finally decided to speak to him about it. He got the address from Grayson, who apparently also knew about the adoption. If one could even call what Todd had with Junior an adoption. That was an interesting conversation that Damian hadn’t liked having. He didn’t want to explain to Grayson why it mattered so much to him that Todd had taken in someone else in need. It made him sound so selfish. So… cruel.
But Grayson had reassured him that Damian wasn’t selfish or cruel for feeling conflicted towards this situation. It made sense that Damian was feeling like this. That it was a natural way to feel. It wasn’t a bad thing, it was just a thing.
Not good. Not bad. Just a thing. A thing that Damian had to live with for a while as he adjusted to having Junior in his life in a new way outside of crime.
Damian knocked on the door to Todd’s apartment and waited. A minute or so later, Jason opened the door. His hair was a wreck and he only wore sweats. Dark marks were scattered over his chest and neck.
Jason stared at him for a second. His face darkened with embarrassment. “I’ll get a shirt,” he mumbled as he led Damian inside. “Tim’s in therapy for an hour, so I wasn’t anyone.”
“I do not have your number, so I couldn’t give you a text or a call.” Damian looked around. “Do you have company?”
“Yeah. Roy’s in my room right now. I’ll tell him you’re here when I put on my shirt. Uh, sit anywhere.” Jason gestured around the apartment then disappeared into his room.
While he waited, Damian sat down at the table. He noticed a few signs of a dog living there. Which was surprising since he thought this apartment would be against animals. But he must’ve thought wrong. Or Jason threatened his landlord to have one. Either way, there was a dog living there if the few toys and dog bowls and dog bed scattered around was anything to go off of. Damian was curious to see what kind of dog it was, and where that dog was right now.
Roy and Jason left Jason’s room. Jason sat down across from Damian while Roy got to work on making some food for the three of them.
“So, kid, why are you here? And who tattled?”
“Grayson.” Damian crossed his arms. “I asked him where you lived, and he told me. Simple as that.”
“Why do you want to know? What brings you here?” Jason raised an eyebrow at Damian, smirking at Damian’s attempt to be intimidating. If Jason was anyone else, he might’ve fallen for it. But he wasn’t.
“I wanted to talk to you about Joker Junior.”
“His name is Tim Drake. Not Joker Junior,” Jason corrected. He immediately was on guard. “What about him?”
“I’d like to know why you saved him. But you didn’t take me when you fled the League of Assassins.”
Jason’s eyes widened. “Shit, kid. I took him because he needed help. He was stuck in a situation that he couldn’t get himself out of.”
“And I didn’t need help?”
“No. I mean, yes.” Jason winced, shutting his eyes. “That’s not what I meant. You needed help. You couldn’t get yourself out. And I regret not taking you with me. I should’ve gotten you out and taken you to Bruce or taken care of you myself, but I was stupid. I wasn’t ready to take care of someone other than myself.”
“Why not bring me to father then if you were unfit to take care of me?”
“I was– I had a strong distrust of Bruce at the time. I didn’t trust that he’d take good enough care of you and Tim. I didn’t want you to feel replaced like I thought that Tim had replaced me. Now I know that Tim didn’t replace me, but at the time, I thought he had. I didn’t like Tim at the time, but I didn’t want him to get replaced and be the reason why he was.”
“Oh. I see…” Damian trailed off as he thought. He narrowed his eyes. “You could not have found somewhere else to put me?”
“Maybe? Damian, I wasn’t exactly in the right mind during that time. I’m not going to make excuses. I know I shouldn’t have left you there, but I wasn’t thinking things through back then. I was really only thinking about getting myself out of there because I hated it there and I wanted to find safety again. It was selfish, and I regret leaving you there.” Jason sighed softly. “I’m sorry.”
Damian hesitated. “I don’t know how I feel,” he admitted. “On one hand, had you saved me, I might not be Robin. And I love being Robin. It gives me a purpose to life I never would have ever found otherwise. But on the other hand, I was not happy there. I just… would like to know why him and not me?”
“I’m in a better situation now than I was two years ago. My mental health is better, I’m in a financial situation where I can take on a second person, and his situation is a lot closer to mine than yours was. In a lot of ways, his is a lot more personal than yours ever was. He was with the Joker.”
“Just because his situation was more personal means that it was more important?”
“No. It doesn’t.” Jason shook his head. “A personal situation doesn’t make it more important than yours. I help people all of the time that were never hurt by the Joker. I don’t need to have a personal connection to them to help. And I regret leaving you. You deserve the help, but I failed you. I promise I’m going to do better for you in the future.”