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“Come on, Dashie,” Applejack grinned, feeling the sun on her face and the wind in her hair as the two of them ran through the Apple Farm. “Try to catch up,” she teased. Rainbow raced after her, always the faster one between the two of them.
It was pure coincidence that the two of them got the day off together, just the two of them, but Applejack was thankful for it. So rarely did Rainbow Dash have a day off from the Wonderbolts where the two of them could spend it alone, especially when they had such a big friend group.
Twilight had busy plans in Equestria with the Princess, though, and Rarity was off in Manehattan selling her newest clothing line. By the time Pinkie Pie had to cancel due to having to watch the Cakes’ Twins, Applejack could have practically begged Fluttershy to cancel as well just so that Applejack could spend some alone time with her girlfriend.
And miraculously, Discord just happened to show up that weekend and Fluttershy became occupied for the day.
It wasn’t that Applejack didn’t love her friends, of course she did, but she also loved when it was just her and Rainbow, when the two of them could just relax and run and love each other without any pretenses at all.
It would be easier if the others knew.
If their friends knew, at least, Applejack thought she would be fine. But it would also be harder, because then she would be worried about her friends keeping their traps shut about their relationship. It wasn’t that she didn’t want people to know that she and Rainbow were together, she loved Rainbow Dash after all, but, well… she couldn’t risk Granny finding out.
Granny had been hootin’ and hollerin’ when an Apple married a Pear; Applejack didn’t want to picture what it would be like if Granny found out that Applejack was dating a mare. She loved Granny, and Granny had been there for her since her parents died, but Applejack also knew that Granny was a bit old fashioned.
She wouldn’t approve.
There was no sugarcoating it, or beating around the hay. Applejack knew for certain that Granny wouldn’t approve of Applejack being with anypony who wasn’t a steed.
What made it harder was that Applejack knew it was wrong, but she couldn’t stop herself; Rainbow was perfect. She was gorgeous, and fierce, and just a right spitfire. She was the strongest pegasus that Applejack knew, and Applejack could appreciate strength in a mare. The two of them just fit together.
The thing was, Applejack couldn’t lie. Well, she could, and she was darn hooting good at it, but she hated lying. It made her feel sick. So sometimes she stretched the truth a bit, when someone asked her about Rainbow and she responded that Rainbow Dash was a real great friend to her, when someone asked if any stallions were interesting to her and Applejack responded by saying that life was real busy on the farm.
It wasn’t lying, it was just answering with an answer that didn’t really relate much to the question.
Rainbow laughed from behind her as she caught up, the two of them racing down the hill next to each other, avoiding trunks of trees and roots in the ground. Applejack knew Sweet Apple Acres better than anyone, even her siblings, and she knew the perfect place for her and Rainbow to be without anypony finding them.
“Awe, AJ, did you set up a picnic just for me?” Rainbow asked when they got to the bottom of the hill, true excitement lacing her tone at the sight of the picnic blanket piled high with all the best treats Applejack knew how to make. Apple jam, apple fritters, apple pie, apple sauce, apple chips, apple juice. She smiled proudly at Rainbow’s excitement as Rainbow happily flew over to the blanket to ‘inspect’ some of the apple cider that Applejack had made.
Apple cider had always been Rainbow’s favorite, and Applejack knew she made it just right. It was something she liked to tease her girlfriend about, just a bit, because Rainbow darn tootin’ loved cider, and maybe they always ran out right when she got to the front of the line, and maybe that only happened because Applejack thought that it was amusing.
Besides, Rainbow could have cider whenever she wanted, if she ever bothered asking (okay, so maybe Rainbow begging her to make apple cider was also a bit amusing, even if Applejack pretended to be annoyed by it).
“Just for you and your darn inflated head,” Applejack told her. There was no malice behind her words, though, never malice when she was talking to Rainbow. “Why, Dashie, you afraid this was actually for Granny’s get together with her old mares?”
Because Applejack was, just a bit. Could she spin this as a friendly little get together if Granny saw?
No. Because Applejack had alone time with her girlfriend, and damn if she was going to spend that time acting like nothing more than Rainbow’s friend.
Rainbow just laughed. “Come here, you,” she called, and didn’t give Applejack a chance before she was coming right up next to Applejack and wrapping her whole body around her, kissing her neck wetly. “Thanks, AJ, I love it.”
“I love you,” Applejack countered, because she always was an honest apple. Rainbow kissed her again.
“Hey you wanna pick apples? I think I can find the best one?”
“Do ya now?” Applejack asked, narrowing her eyes. She was always one for a little competition. That was another thing she darn did love about Rainbow Dash: they were both so competitive that the two of them could compete together for hours.
The rest of their friend group didn’t like it much, in fact Applejack was sure that it drove Twilight bonkers, but Applejack thought it was fun.
(And she liked winning, and she usually could win if Rainbow didn’t distract her.
A mare as capable as Rainbow Dash was very distracting, though.)
“Yep!”
“You’re on!” She smirked, and raced off through the apples. She would win, because it was her darn apple farm and she picked apples nearly every day. And, just because Rainbow was the strongest pegasus that Applejack knew didn’t mean that Applejack wasn’t stronger; she was an Earth pony, after all. Strength was kind of her thing.
Applejack couldn’t see Rainbow, but as she bucked the apples down from the tree she was sure that she was winning. Oh Granny would be pleased with all the extra apples that Applejack had collected while off duty, she was sure of it.
Applejack was sure of a lot of things. It was what made being honest so hard sometimes.
“So what do I get when I win, huh, Rainbow?” She grinned as she ran towards the next patch of trees. Her head was turned slightly, looking for Rainbow, but she couldn’t find her anywhere. “I hope you’ve got somethin’ good planned, considering— oomph!”
“Gotcha!” Rainbow laughed as the two of them rolled through the grass, flipping over each other. Rainbow had barreled into her from the sky and now had herself wrapped tightly around Applejack. “I win!”
“What’re you talkin’ about, Rainbow? I was winning.”
“Nah, you weren’t.” Rainbow laughed again, her smile lighting up her entire face. Darn did Rainbow have the most gorgeous face. “I said whoever picks the best apple wins.”
“Okay…?”
“And I did. I picked you, the best apple in this whole freaking world.”
Applejack felt her cheeks heat up.
“You’re my favorite Wonderbolt?” She offered, a terrible blush on her face. Rainbow just laughed.
“Ah, c’mon, AJ, you don’t want Spitfire hearing that,” Rainbow teased her, which only made Applejack blush even more. Darn did she love her girlfriend, though.
People needed to stop trying to come into her room. First Big Mac, whom she sent away because she couldn’t deal with his concern, then little Applebloom, whom she sent away because she couldn’t deal with her little sister’s confusion, and now Rainbow Dash, the one mare who had no business talking to her right now.
It wasn’t Rainbow’s fault, not really.
It was Granny’s. Granny who thought that Applejack would be better off with a steed than with her best friend. Granny who had seen Applejack with Rainbow when they were in the fields and automatically suspected something was up.
That was not a conversation that Applejack had ever wanted to have, something she had ever wanted Granny to find out, and now she was frantically wiping away her tears as her girlfriend banged on her door because Applejack wouldn’t let her in.
How had she even gotten inside the house in the first place? She usually went through the window.
“Oh c’mon, AJ! I know you’re in there.”
Applejack swallowed. She didn’t want to do this, she didn’t even know how she was going to face Rainbow Dash, not after the earful she had just gotten from Granny. Granny thought she was broken, a disappointment, a disgrace on the apple family name.
And Applejack’s mom had been a pear for goodness sake!
She wiped angrily at her eyes again. Applejack wasn’t usually a crier, she didn’t know what had come over her, only that she needed it to stop and she needed it to stop now. She couldn’t cry, she couldn't.
Just then, she heard a crash at her window and turned around. Rainbow Dash, right.
Even with her hair facing every which way and a frown on her face, Rainbow was beautiful. Handsome. The stunning mare that Applejack had wrongly fallen in love with, all rainbow hair and blue-feathered glory. Applejack loved her.
And she couldn’t see her right now.
“You can’t be here,” Applejack told her. Gosh, if Granny found out, Applejack would be an abandoned apple core by the next day. “Granny’ll kill me if she sees you.”
“What are you talking about? Look, Scoot came to tell me that Applebloom was worried about you. I had to see that you were okay.”
“Well, I’m not. Happy?” She asked angrily. The tears were building in her eyes again, but she ignored them. “Thank you for the concern, but you can go now.”
“Don’t push me away, Jackie,” Rainbow said quietly. “Please, whatever it is, I can help.”
Applejack swallowed. “You can’t.” How could Rainbow help when she was the problem to begin with? “There’s not– it’s not possible.”
But Rainbow wasn’t giving up. “I can help you if you just tell me what you need. What do you want?”
God, why did Rainbow Dash have to be so perfect? Why couldn’t Applejack be a stronger mare?
Why did she have to be a mare at all? If she was a steed she could have been with Rainbow Dash, worry free. She could have introduced her to Applebloom, Big Mac, even Granny Smith. But, no, Applejack didn’t have that option.
“What I want?” Applejack didn’t get what she wanted, and she never would.
Rainbow nodded. “What do you want?”
Pushing back all of her emotions until her face was as blank and expressionless as it should have been from the beginning, Applejack soldiered on.
“You,” she whispered, watching Rainbow’s face soften and sparkle with hope before Applejack crushed it all over again, “gone,” she finished, wishing she had said anything else when Rainbow’s face instantly fell in despair and she flew away, leaving Applejack with nothing left but her guilt and tears to keep her company.