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All Jason could see, was Green. It suffocated him, filling his mind with nothing but rage and violence. It whispered to Jason, promising him the revenge he craved, the need to destroy and rip apart the Bat's family with his bare hands.
Jason grinned, the bloodlust and urge to kill filling him, telling him to harm, to kill with every step he took.
He tried to anchor himself, attempting to free himself from the Pit's influence. His mind flashed to the Demon brat. How could he harm him? He a shuddering breath, trying to calm himself. What was he thinking? Did he want to ruin his already weak relationship with the Bats–Bruce especially?
He stumbled through the alleys of Gotham. He felt weak in the knees, his head filled with voices. Joker's taunts, Bruce's disappointed lectures, Dick's rare shouts.
He collapsed against a wall behind a dumpster, trying to calm himself. In and out, in and out, just like Alfred taught him. No matter what he tried to distract himself with, all he could imagine was the last thing he heard before running away tonight–Bruce yelling and glaring at him like Jason was a stranger in his son's body.
Jason took another breath, the whispers of the Pit grasping his mind. No, its ok, your in Gotham, not in Ethiopia, not in the League- he froze, the Pit sensing his weakness and resistance and shoving a memory to the fore front of his mind.
…
Jason wheezed, the pain in his chest multiplying. Quite frankly, he hated these stupid LOA tests. He was much more concerned about Damian's health and making sure that some assassins didn't attack the Prince more than he cared about how strong the Pit made him.
That was a lie, he wanted revenge, he wanted to tear the Bat's family into pieces and then kill the Bat slowly, bit by bit–
NO
Jason shoved the thought down, scrambling for control. Calm down, focus. Think. He needed to be aware of his surroundings. He wouldn't allow himself to be caught off guard during a test again. Last time he did, it hadn't been nice for him.
He stumbled down the maze, carefully avoiding anything that looked like a trap. Just as he was close to the end, someone appeared behind him, causing Jason to whirl around. SHIT!
Before Jason could do anything, he was falling, his instincts still slower than the trained assassins of LOA. He prepared to jump back up, but something clicked when he landed, causing him to freeze. Jason threw himself up, but not in time to avoid the bear trap that latched onto his right leg.
Jason desperately stifled a scream, the pain racing up his body as the metal cut into his flesh. The assassins stared down at him coldly, no doubt sent by Ra's so catch Jason off guard. And it had worked. The lithe person turned away, disappearing into the maze, most likely going back to report of Jason's failure. Shit, Jason really did not want any more punishments. The last time had been enough. Not to mention that it would be way worse than the last few.
He didn't know how long he had laid there, bleeding and desperately attempting to free himself. Eventually, he had given up on slowly prying off the jaws of the trap, preparing for the pain. His breathes were coming out more shallow and short. He needed to get out.
He needed to get out or he was dead. No no no no no no, he couldn't die, Jason still had so much to do- Calm down. Focus. Think. Jason swallowed, taking a deep breathe while trying to calm down his nerves.
Gritting his teeth, Jason tensed his body before scrambling and thrashing away from the bear trap, the metal clinging onto him, ripping off flesh, all Jason could feel was pain and pain, and his leg was bleeding out and-
…
Jason gasped, snapping back to the present as he bumped into a compost bin. Shit. His leg throbbed with phantom pain, the memory bringing back the feeling of pain. It had taken way too long to heal. Jason was quite frankly lucky that he had the Pit in his veins. Any normal person would've lost part of their leg, even if they hadn't bled out to death.
God, he needed to get control of himself. Letting the Pit influence him and even bring back old memories was a sign of control slipping. He couldn't afford anymore slip ups, especially not with how Bruce had looked at him.
Shoving the feelings down, Jason looked around, trying to see where he was. Staying in a warehouse seemed like a great idea when he arrived at Gotham, and Jason was definitely thankful to his past self for thinking of it.
He ignored the aching his chest, the longing to go back and apologize, and ask if Bruce still cared, if Bruce thought of Jason as anything but a murderer. No. He had nothing to apologize for. If Bruce wanted to have a stick shoved up his righteous, sanctimonious ass, then that was Bruce's issue and no one else's.
All he had to do was get to the warehouse, and he could relax. And no, he wasn't hiding…he just couldn't deal with the other bats bothering him.
…
Once the warehouse came into view, Jason climbed through the back door and collapsed onto the couch. Fuck, his leg was killing him. How unlucky did he have to be to have shrapnel buried in the same exact leg that was trapped by a bear trap?
He limped toward the medicine cabinet, grabbing some gauze and an ice pack. He wrapped the ice onto his leg and sat down on his bed, wincing when his leg throbbed. He really shouldn't have aggravated the injured leg as much as he did. Not like he had much choice in the matter. Whatever, Bruce had made it clear that he didn't care if it was the Pit or Jason's choice. It wasn't like Jason was his son anymore anyways.
Jason bit back a sob, everything that happened today finally hitting him. Fuck. He was getting emotional over a family he wasn't a part of for a long time. Gods, this was so stupid.
A tear tracked down his face despite his efforts, causing him to swipe furiously at his face. Jason groaned, burying his head in his hands as the tears kept coming. God damn it, he shouldn't be crying! Especially over a stupid argument, where Jason was quite frankly attacked. Verbally of course, because after everything Batman had done, he would never stoop so low as to hit the Red Hood! No, he would just talk to Jason like a condescending adult to a child, like Jason hadn't died, like Jason knew the cruelties of the world first hand.
Gods, he must have looked so stupid. Sitting in his dingy warehouse crying his eyes out over a stupid argument like he was part of their happy little family. Eventually Jason gave into the torrent of tears he was holding back. There was no point in just sitting on his bed holding back tears until the sun came back up.
He hiccuped, hunching over as he attempted to curl up, hiding his face from the outside of world. There was a slight buzzing in his ears, everything seeming muffled as he sobbed.
A hand touched his shoulder, and Jason flinched, throwing himself up into a defensive position. Shit, was his only thought before he crumbled to the ground, his leg giving up on him.
He blinked, realizing that it was just Bruce. Wait- what the fuck was Bruce doing in his apartment? And he had spent so much time making sure none of the bats followed him too! Jason glared, hoping that the old man wouldn't notice or at least comment on his tear tracked face, or his leg.
"Jason calm down, its just me, is your leg ok- Have you been crying?" Bruce asked, suddenly looking worried. Great, and now he asked about it. Why couldn't any of the bats keep their nosy asses off our their people's business.
"No, and it's none of your business," Jason snapped, patting his legs down for his holster. Shit, he had put it on the table. He was getting too sloppy, Ra's would've had his head for this.
"Jason, I just want to check on your leg-"
"I don't need your help!" Jason snapped, pushing himself up, only to promptly fall over into Bruce's arms. Jason hissed some choice words under his breath, only becoming more annoyed when Bruce huffed a small laugh.
"The fuck you laughing about old man?" he said, wincing as he shifted, accidently putting more weight on his leg.
"… I'm sorry." Bruce suddenly said, surprising Jason. He blinked, staring at Bruce's face in shock.
"What?" he asked dumbly, very confused about what was going on. Batman apologizing? Impossible!
"I shouldn't have said those things. I do understand why you lost control. And… I'm sorry. You are my son. You always have been."
Jason froze, tears prickling his eyes again. This was probably just a trick! A way to keep Jason on their leash and make sure he didn't run wild again. So why did those words affect him so much?
"Whatever. You're just saying that anyways," he muttered, looking away. "It's not like you think I'm part of your happy family anyways. I'm too violent and angry to be allowed close to your kids."
The arms that were wrapped around him stiffened before forcibly relaxing. "Is that what you really think?" Bruce whispered. He sounded, sad? Why was Bruce sad out of all things. Shouldn't he be glad that Jason knew where he stood in this dynamic?
"…" Jason avoided eye contact, a tear finally trickling down his face. God damn his traitorous body. Bruce frowned, cupping Jason's face in his hands.
"Jason," he breathed, his tone regretful. "You have always been in our family. You will always be in this family." Bruce's hold tightened, full on hugged Jason now. Jason sobbed, the tears finally winning. He hiccuped, clinging to Bruce's uniform, burying his face in the Kevlar. This could be just a dream his mind conjured, but even if it was, Jason was determined to savor this moment. Bruce cared. His dad still cared, still wanted him.
"You mean everything to me," Bruce stated, his tone soft, like the one that he'd use for Jason when he was still Robin. "Every single on of my kids do."
So Jason relaxed, and let Bruce drag him home, where he'd have to deal with his siblings. His siblings, not co-vigilantes. Siblings, because they were family. And for the first time since his revival, he was truly content.