Chapter Text
Yusei. Judai. Yuma.
Those were their names. The names of people Yuya would never know.
And yet, he knew about them.
He knew how Yusei would fix machines without a word, how he was serious and honest but loved his friends more than his life. He knew how Judai would rush over to the dining hall every time they served shrimp; how he’d always finish a duel with a smile on his face and a hand out to his opponent. He knew how Yuma never did things halfway, how he was strong and determined through everything he went through.
Yuya knew how his friends loved them. He knew how Jack and Crow searched endlessly for Yusei before their falling out. He knew how Academia took advantage of Edo’s grief to get him to leave the Pro Leagues and help with the war. He knew how Asuka had loved Judai but never told him so she could work on her career. Yuya knew how Kaito lost everyone he cared about; how Yuma was the first one he never heard from again.
He knew it was his fault they were gone. If Yuya didn’t exist, all of them would still be around.
But he was the only one who knew that. And he had no idea what to do about it. Yuya had never met them, but the things he heard made him feel something he hadn’t ever really had to understand before. He was supposed to smile through these things, but how was he supposed to do that when the only reason he could do anything at all was because six people died?!
First Yusei, and Judai, and Yuma.
Then Yugo, Yuri, Yuto.
Yuya.
He couldn’t even say anything. He couldn’t tell anyone what he knew. He couldn’t tell anyone about this. They knew about Yuto, and Yuri, and Yugo, but no one could…
No one would believe him. It would only hurt them more. The way he found out was needlessly convoluted to begin with, and…
None of them would ever get closure, would they?
They’d never know unless…
His counterparts could take control of him whenever they wanted. They were still around inside of him, and it felt right. Nobody was missing them because they could come out whenever they needed.
So could they also…?
Yuya sat on the floor of his room, staring down at his hands. It would be wrong of him not to, wouldn’t it…?
The only thing he lived for was to make other people smile. He had to keep doing that.
His body felt hot, green lights pulsing behind his eyelids. Green, like him… like Zarc.
Then red. Red and blue and pink. They hurt to look at, hurt to think about, like something was tearing at him from inside, ripping him apart. Focusing on them felt like his lungs could give out any second.
Yuya gasped for air, eyes snapping open. He was on his hands and knees, his body tensing as if to suffocate him in his own skin.
If he kept going, he would die.
He laid there on the ground for a time he didn’t bother to track.
If he died, would his counterparts die too…?
Would bringing those three back— those three he never even knew— kill the four of him?
…maybe he would deserve it, for what he did as Zarc. Maybe it was selfish of him to keep living while Jack, Crow, Kaito, and the others all grieved for people they’d never know the fates of.
But his entire life was that of an entertainer. He did everything for other people. So they could smile. So he wouldn’t bring them down. He never cried around anyone, never let himself slip.
And after doing that for this long, maybe Yuya deserved to be selfish for once.