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Falst had been walking for a while now, and the peace he felt before was giving way to anxiety. After all, he hated the cold, and though the snow was beautiful, he knew all too well how it could be. Walking faster, he pulled his tail inside his coat, and fumbled, looking for his map. Checking his front pockets, his back pockets, and then he stopped. Where was it?
Thinking back to when he left home, he couldn't recall picking it up. And if it wasn't on him, he couldn't be certain how to get back. He'd been too preoccupied, too unaware of his surroundings, and now he'd ruined his day. He muttered to himself over the whispers of his anxious thoughts.
He had to think logically. Walking back the way he came was a start, but it could only get him more lost. Everything in this forest seemed the same; near-identical trees repeating themselves until they reached the city.
"Sorry, do you know where the path to the city is?"
Falst turned to see a tall man with flaming hair tied in a ponytail that ran halfway down his back. He was well-built, but that didn't matter. Falst didn't know the way back, either.
"No." A beat passed in awkward silence, but the man smiled anyways.
"Are you lost too?"
"I suppose you could stay that. Don't you have a map?"
"Yeah, but I'm hopeless at reading it, and my phone's dead," he admitted.
"Could I have a look?"
"Go ahead."
After puzzling over the map for a while, they set off in what was, hopefully, the right direction, walking in a comfortable silence. Falst found himself already hoping that they would meet again. Maybe he should give him his number - but they parted ways earlier than he'd expected, and all he was left with was a name.
Dainix.
***
Dainix didn't expect to see the man from the other day ever again, no matter how much he hoped he would. Something about him had been endearing, something made him stand out.
So when they saw each other again, Dainix was delighted. Falst was walking with Kendal, of all people. He saw Kendal first, and rushed to greet him when Falst caught his eye, and he stopped, halfway into a hug.
"Sorry, am I interrupting something?" Kendal asked, confused. Dainix just shakes his head slowly.
"I didn't think I'd see you again," he said, voice light with amazement.
"I didn't either."
***
They got along better than he'd remembered, and it turned out, they had many friends in common. It was easy, from there, to grow closer. To enjoy each other's company. To notice just how kind the other was, the way they complimented each other, the way that Dainix held his hand and the way that Falst always thought of him.
Dainix had tried to get out of the habit of suppressing his emotions, of letting the fire broil within him, so maybe it was too easy to tell that he was in love. He entertained the thought of them dating, for a while - but the way Falst looked at him couldn't have been the same.
***
All of their friends had gone to sleep by now (except Erin, who was engrossed in his reading in the next room). Falst was making tea, and Dainix was watching, eyes half-lidded. It seemed more often, now, that he did this for him, and Dainix hoped it wasn't out of misplaced obligation.
"You don't have to do this, you know. It's lovely, but-" he sighed. "You know you don't have to be useful for me to- to like you."
"I'm not doing it to be useful."
"Why do you do it, then?"
"Is that not what you do for anyone you love? You do your best for them? I'm trying, Dainix, but you just don't love me in the same way I love you." He said, voice trailing off to a murmur.
"But I do. I think we could be something. We could be..."
And that's how it was, from that day on. Sure, they were both awkward about it all, but things were looking up for both of them. Life was simpler.
And, god, Falst was dating a hopeless romantic. Flowers, compliments, tea blends, the works. Falst was just blessing his good luck and doing his part. He made him tea in the mornings, he comforted him - he loved Dainix, so much sometimes it felt like he was drowning.
Sometimes he needed a little space, and Dainix accepted that. Just another one of his strengths.
It was one of those times, when Falst was walking, when everything went wrong.
***
A cloudy winter night, and Falst walked alone in the forest where they had met, seeking peace of mind that evaded him. Things were changing quickly, and he just needed some time to catch up. That was what he was thinking when he slipped out of the house; but, it turned out, allowing his mind to wander was a grave mistake.
It's just paranoia, Dainix would say, but instinct was what had gotten him this far. It was difficult to ignore the odd smell that hung in the air, the silence that choked the forest.
If there's a monster here, Falst thought, I'll deal with it. It won't be any trouble.
There was a woman behind him. Her footsteps fell lightly on the snow and she made little sound, but he could tell she was there. She carried the scent of life thick on her shoulders, draped over her. A mage, then. Could be a threat.
As Falst turned, the woman grinned.
"You're very interesting," she said, taking a few steps closer. "Not many paladins out at this hour."
"Care to tell me your name?"
Paladin? Falst?
"No thanks. And I'm not a paladin."
"Oh - sorry for assuming. Most of those with the blessing of the light dragon are, y'know."
And again she smiled, green eyes stark against the white trees around her. Falst's stomach turned and a sourness rose up in his throat.
"Wait. I have more things to ask," she said. It didn't sound like she was worried he'd leave.
"Why don't you use it?"
"What?"
"Your magic. Why don't you use it?"
"I don't have any magic."
"Are you sure? Let me take a look. I'd thought I'd learnt all I could from mortal souls, but maybe there's something more! Just wait a second while I-"
Suddenly, everything was coming apart, crumbling to white. Everything was throbbing; the blood rushing to his head until he felt like he would tear in two. But the feeling faded, and once he could focus on everything around him…
He could see the white dusted trees, the woman and…hum. His body, strangely still. Lifeless. Soulless.
He strained, escaping the woman's grip and rushing to his body - but he couldn't connect. He couldn't get back. He couldn't-
He wouldn't be able to see any of his friends again. Kendal, Alinua, Tess, Erin…Dainix. Not if he didn't fix this.
But already, despair was setting in…
***
Dainix awoke to a cold, empty house. No sign of Falst, but he was probably out for an early morning walk. And no sign of him making himself breakfast, either - he had always been tidy.
(Dainix awoke to cracks spreading across his burning skin and a cold, empty house. Just another nightmare. And just another one of Falst's late night walks.)
He sent him a text, just to make sure:
Delivered - 7.02am
Delivered - 7.02am (It had been an hour..)
Delivered - 7.02am (It had been too long…)
Dainix: Have you seen Falst?
Kendal: No, why?
Dainix: I haven't seen him all day.
Any sign of him yet?
Alinua: I'm looking…
There's something faint in the forest.
It looks like hum, but it's…
cold.
Dainix: I'm on my way.
***
Dainix was getting anxious. Falst wouldn't just leave, right? They would talk first. But he was gone, and that meant-
A limp body nearly buried in the snow.
It couldn't be. It couldn't. It couldn't-
He wouldn't be able to be with him ever again.
Dainix couldn't tell if he was drowning, or just choking on his own tears. With an anguished twist of his face, he turned away for the first time. For the first time, he couldn't bear looking into those soulless eyes.
His friends were on their knees around him.
"But- it doesn't make sense!" Alinua's voice was hoarse. "He still has life in him, so why?"
Dainix flinched at the flowers reaching up at him. If there was still life, then why was-
"It must have been the collector." Kendal said. "There's life there, yes, but no soul."
"That means we can still get him back."
***
Dainix wasn't drowning anymore. He was burning with a single minded focus, like it was all he knew how to do.
"Tahraim," he said, voice hoarse. "How can I return a soul to its body?"
"I know how."
"And?"
He hummed as if everything wasn't at stake. "I'll do it for you, but you need to temper first. You're running too hot."
"Falst is down with the collector. If you can lead his soul back from the caves, I'll put it back in for you. I can show you the way there, but you'll have to walk the way back alone. Truly alone. That's my condition - you must walk in front & not look back to check if he's behind."
"But-"
"You won't grow without tests, Dainix. Good luck."
***
This was it. This was Dainix's only chance at getting Falst back. He should have been overjoyed, but still, his doubts kept coming back. Tahraim wouldn't try to trick him, would he? It would be awfully convenient for him, though, to let Dainix go without Falst, to make him "temper" a bit more. Just think about anything else. Think about the whispers that flit in the pale grass around him, the cold crawling at his feet. Of course, the cold didn't mean anything to him, but Falst - he must feel it. After all, he had that first time they met. The times that they had gone out together on winter days-
No, he couldn't look back. Not to check if Falst was okay, not for anything.
Saving him had to take priority over his anxiety. He could worry over this when he - when they got back. He trusted Falst to follow. (Even though he had pushed him away so many times.) He trusted himself.
But why couldn't he hear him? He should be able to hear him, at least. He took another heavy step, and the roaring in his ears got louder, the heat under his skin more insistent. He knew that Falst was going to be okay, so why was he thinking as if he was already gone? It should have been a simple task, really - but when had Dainix ever managed not to think of him?
Even as the land few more vicious around him, he walked on. He could keep walking, but he couldn't keep thinking. Not about him. And it would be so easy, to just check, and Tahraim wouldn't even notice. But he couldn't look back. Not for the friend he was saving.
What was the point?
He turned, and there he was, following, as he had been the whole time.