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1. You are the knife I turn inside myself by cheshireheir

   Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling  

   • Explicit
   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • M/M
   • Work in Progress

   03 Oct 2026

   Tags

   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Sirius Black/James Potter
   • Minor or Background Relationship(s)
   • Sirius Black
   • James Potter
   • Remus Lupin
   • Peter Pettigrew
   • Lily Evans Potter
   • Alternate Universe - No Voldemort (Harry Potter)
   • Obsessive Behavior
   • Kinktober 2026
   • Under-negotiated Kink
   • Extremely Dubious Consent
   • Somnophilia
   • Rape/Non-con Elements
   • But lets be honest
   • its so consentual it hurts
   • the boys are both freaks
   • Possessive Behavior
   • Emotional Manipulation
   • Manipulative Relationship
   • Anal Sex
   • Anal Fingering
   • Blow Jobs
   • Blood Kink
   • Masochism
   • Pain Kink
   • Infidelity
   • Or Is It?
   • no it is
   • Rough Sex
   • Emotional Sex
   • idk tbh
   • ill add more tags but just read the room guys
   • No beta we die like my dignity
   • Explicit Sexual Content
   • Pining
   • praise and degradation in equal terms
   • Date Rape Drug/Roofies
   • Sort Of
   • its a game called beat the dreamless sleep
   • im a bad judge of how dark something is but this is fun to me so...
   • Black Family Madness (Harry Potter)
   • Sirius Black is Obsessed
   • James Potter is a Ray of Sunshine
   • a freaky ass ray of sunshine
   • Drunk Sex
   • Dubious Morality
   • a bit of blood and gore
   • Non-Consensual Voyeurism
   • Exhibitionism
   • Friends to Lovers
   • no Lily bashing

   Summary

   Sirius wasn’t sure when his infatuation with James Potter began. Somewhere between third and fourth year, likely, at least that’s what he would say if anyone asked when he had fallen in love with his best friend. But the truth was a bit more convoluted than that.
   It wasn’t as though time and mutual interests began to shift Sirius’ thoughts towards James. It wasn’t because they spent all of their free time together, it wasn’t even because they lived in the same Dormitory and took all of the same classes until fifth year.
   That was what came before.
   Before Sirius Black realized he would smolder into ash if he lost track of James Potter. Even for one moment.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   11,145

   Chapters:

   2/10

   Kudos:

   16

   Bookmarks:

   4

   Hits:

   186