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English
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Published:
2026-10-02
Updated:
2026-10-04
Words:
10,934
Chapters:
3/?
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9
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This New World Is Wack

Summary:

Another HSR Amphoreus HS chatfic because I love chatfics and think they're funny so I wanted to write one myself while procrastinating on school and Daybreak. Au summary in the first chapter, and uh yeah
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Phainon: so hypothetically

Anaxa: no

Phainon: 😭

Hyacine: usually I’d say to let him speak but hearing “hypothetically” from Phainon is scary

Phainon: WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Cyrene: your hypotheticals are rarely hypothetical

Aglaea: They’re usually a prelude to something utterly unhinged or just

Aglaea: Foolish

Phainon: (つ╥﹏╥)つ

Phainon: cant even speak two words in here w/out getting bullied

Castorice: So, hypothetically

Cipher: Yesssssss?

Anaxa: what’s up

Phainon: WTF MAN
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You can find me on Tumblr @evyrmore or ig on Twitter also @evyrmore (but I don't really use twitter so meh)

Chapter 1: Intro/AU Explanation

Chapter Text

Feel free to skip this first chapter if you want, it’s just a brief explanation of this AU and kinda my idea behind it, as well as some character facts/relationship overviews. 

 

FIRST OFF

 

1) I'm doing this for fun because I think high school au fics/chatfics are silly and I’m bad at making things lore accurate so don’t take anything too seriously. The non-chatfic segments will have shifting povs but will likely overall be from Caelus’ POV (since I play as him in game) or Phainon’s, since he’s just my favourite character ever and I love him (and he may or may not be central to the “plot”).

 

2) on a similar note some of this will not be all silly goofy, since I am too much of an angst lover and would have to be getting paid in order to not weave it in (especially for Phainon bc again he’s my favourite character ever and therefore I must make him suffer as much as I let him not)(and some of the other characters too)

 

3) TW: Teenage behavior, as in like, how me and my friends act/acted in high school (which was up until quite recently) so there’s gonna be belligerent swearing/name calling, bad grammar, suicidal jokes/comments, sexual comments and innuendos (even from the aro/ace people), unapologetic, obvious, and open gayness, and unhinged nonsensical threats that may well transcend the screen and scare you too(/j) (I’m genz with genz humor so take that as a tw too if needed)

 

4) I didn’t have what would be considered a “normal high school experience” because me and all my friends are introverted video game obsessed nerds and my school had a very different structure to most, which will probably be quite obvious in this fic because I invented a new school system for it so I don’t have to make assumptions. Also this takes place in a fictional location somewhere in the Midwest US since I’ve lived there before and it’s where I can best describe things from. Lowkey also gonna be using some of my irl interactions with my friends as inspo for this so you might get first-row seats to a story-fied version of our collective insanity

 

5) the main focus group of this will be the Amphoreus/Express cast(+Sunday cause he’s part of the Express quartet/quintet and Herta cause I love her)(tho herta is more bg), with probably quite a few cameos from elsewhere, however if this gets popular(somehow) and people want it, I might try to construct additional chapters/fics regarding the other locations but know there probably won’t be a Planarcadia segment cause there just aren’t enough new people or a solid enough story I could come up with for post-this fic for me to really try making one



ALRIGHT SO

LORE TIME

 

Basically a sort of reincarnation au, where everyone has similar to canon personalities and traits. The Paths and Aeons still exist in this world, but pathstriders/people with powers are far less common and tend to be extremely powerful (because everyone who has powers in this fic is either an Emanator in game or close to it in the lore)(cough cough Sunday and March). Non-human species such as the Foxians, Vidyadhara, and Halovians will also still exist because I do not like making characters such as Sunday and Cipher bald and I’d have to be getting paid to not include Dragon Heng, and will be referred to generally as Thirens (which is the ZZZ term for semi-humans since HSR never gave us one iirc)



People with or without multiple personas:

 

Phainon- is Khaslana, but Cyrene is the only one who knows that it’s his real name (middle name is Kevin ofc)

 

Cyrene- is Demiurge (or just Demi, her parents were weird fr), but Phainon is the only one who knows that (middle name Elysia ofc)

 

March 7th- Evernight is a sort of accidental memosprite that can come and go at will, and is usually chill (until she isn’t) and is discovered some time into this story

 

Caelus and Stelle are twins

 

Dan Heng and Dan Feng were brothers, with Dan Feng being significantly older

 

Tribios is Tribios (singular) and goes by Tribbie as a nickname



People with powers and their publicity with it:

(note that the list might change later depending on new details, my narrative choices, and favouritism)(also anyone questioning Sunday clearly forgot that this man almost became an Aeon out of sheer force of will)

 

Phainon- Secret- Destruction

 

Cyrene- Secret- Remembrance

 

Herta- Public- Erudition

 

Dan Heng- Semi-Public- Permanence

 

Caelus- Semi-Public- Harmony/Remembrance

 

Stelle- Public- Destruction/Preservation

 

Stelle and Caelus- Public- Destruction/Harmony- this is specified because of the stellarons, I made it so that they have literal twin telepathy :3

 

March 7th- Public- Preservation/Remembrance 

 

Evernight- Secret- Remembrance/Enigmata

 

Sunday- Semi-Public- Harmony



RELATIONSHIPS (Everyone is between 16-18, aka juniors/seniors in high school)

(Based on my preferences and interpretations, only focusing on big ones or I’d die of old by the time I reached the end)(TLDR: Phainon/Cyrene siblings, Myphai/Phaidei, DanCae, Starch, Cerysilens, Castocipher(and a secret one that will develop later)), bg Hertamei, March/Evernight/Dan Heng siblings, Anaxa/Hyacine siblings) 



Phainon and Cyrene- Call each other siblings, and though it’s assumed, nobody knows if they’re actually blood related (Cyrene is older by a year or so). They live with Lygus, who adopted them a while ago after their home was destroyed. (everyone hates Lygus)

 

Phainon and Mydei- Gay as hell pining losers who have been crushing on each other for years, but Mydei is too much of a kuudere and Phainon is too dense(+___________) to have figured it out

 

Phainon, Mydei, and Castorice- the besties ever (the oblivious gays and their fuming fujo friend)

 

Castorice and Cipher- gay as hell ngl, ragebaiter x ragebaited at its finest (still developing)

 

Castorice, Cyrene, and Hyacine- besties/adoptive siblings (via Anaxa)

 

Hyacine and Ica: Ica is her fatass glutton of a service dog that she tries desperately to keep at a healthy weight but is failing, much to Ica’s delight

 

Hyacine and Anaxa- Siblings, but Anaxa still (unofficially) adopted her and she is probably his favourite person, Hyacine looks up to him a lot. Very healthy siblings goals

 

Anaxa and Aglaea- are beefing (and both different flavours of gay aro/ace, no anaglaea here sorry) (I don’t mind the ship I just don’t ship it myself because I am aroace myself and like making characters aro/ace)(and Im a fujo rat)

 

Anaxa, Phainon, Cyrene, and Castorice- Anaxa adopted them too but it is obvious that Hyacine is his favourite

 

Anaxa and Sunday: religious trauma bonding go brr, they both think the other is weird (but interesting) they get along well somehow

 

Anaxa, Cyrene, and Herta: study buddies/friends, everyone knows Herta but she only really talks to Anaxa and Cyrene (+ Ruan Mei(gf) and Screwllum but they go to another school trust)

 

Aglaea, Phainon, Cyrene, and Cipher- there’s a custody war over Phainon and Cyrene between her and Anaxa, she treats Cipher like a sister 

 

Aglaea and Tribios- besties

 

Tribios and everyone- literally the only source of somewhat calm energy besides Dan Heng and Sunday, keeps everyone in check

 

Cerydra and Hysilens- gay as hell and would go to war for each other(goals)

 

Hysilens and Sunday- bonded over music and get along really well for some reason, much to everyone’s horror

 

Chrysos and Express crew- all friends (-himeko and welt)

 

Caelus and Dan Heng: Dan Heng fell first and harder, most obvious yearnatron 1000 over here while Caelus’ dense ass has missed it for years (Caelus reciprocates 100%) They’re very close overall

 

Dan Heng and March 7th: They consider each other siblings, having been with the Express the longest and treat each other accordingly

 

Dan Heng and Stelle: Stelle knows everything because of her sibling telepathy and uses it to torment Dan Heng (in a friendly way trust)

 

March 7th and Stelle: lowkey might be lesbian but both of them are terrible at expressing their emotions to each other specifically (which drives Caelus insane) (I ship stelle/march just a tiny bit more than stellefly which is why it’s here)

 

March 7th and Caelus: She uses him as a model for some of her outfits because Stelle and Dan Heng are a little too tall, they also treat each other like siblings more than anything

 

Evernight and everyone: She’s interpreted as being March’s sister of sorts, and retains a similar relationship to everyone as March

 

Sunday and everyone: He’s new, they’re mostly just trying to help him acclimate and recover from what he’s been through while he does his best to fit in and help out as much as possible, still growing into the home while missing Robin 

 

(BG) Himeko and Welt- Both are in the same branch of the military and have to move around a lot, hence why the crew in this AU has been to so many places. Platonic relationship, they live together on a train they dubbed the Astral Express, with them picking up lost kids and orphans like stray cats and taking (definitely legal) care/custody of them until they’re ready to leave, with no adoptions or anything to hold them in or keep them from having feelings. Pom Pom is the family therapy dog, and Himeko and Welt are the parents of all time



That was a lot more than I thought it would be lmao 

 

Okay last thing is an approximate age chart for the main cast(in a guesstimated order, might change later cause it’s not terribly important)

 

Seniors(18)- Tribios, Cerydra, Aglaea, Hysilens, Cyrene

 

Seniors(17)- Castorice, Anaxa, Sunday, Cipher, Hyacine

 

Senior(16)- Herta (cause she’s just like that)

 

Juniors(17)- Phainon, Mydei, Dan Heng, Caelus, Stelle

 

Junior(16)- March 7th




Aight if you made it here ty for reading, lmk what you think of it if you want and then go read the actual chapter 1 which should be out now unless you’ve managed to find and read this entire thing in the 2 minutes that I’m still uploading it (very impressive)