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Two sticks stood before each other. Both born the same day, only minutes apart. The first, a red firecracker of a stick waiting for a reason to blow something up, awoke. He simply stretched and looked around before noticing two black sticks. But this ain't about them!
Suddenly, another stick ("Looks like some kind of tangerine!" "I think he's more orange." "Nope, definitely a tangerine.") appeared and was awake.
"Happy birthday," one of the black sticks said unenthusiastically. Both the red and tangerine sleepy child said "Thanks?" Then they looked at each other.
It was at this moment that The Dark Lord decided he refused to share a birthday with a fruit.
"Haha, no, this is MY birthday!"
"But I was born too?" The Second Coming noted.
"Such a shame you were born today too, it didn't have to be like this."
They proceed to tackle and wrestle each other. No, no one is going to do anything about it, not even No One.
Eventually, both give up the fight and call a truce.
Then they repeated it every year until one of them actually killed the other. So he killed him back.
They're both fine now, don't worry. After the twins beat the crap out of each other in various creative ways, they enjoyed some chili together and laughed about their birthday ritual as if it wasn't literally just "We fight each other to the near death and then laugh about it!"
The man on the other side of the screen, meanwhile, just smiled at his master plan to have stickfigures torturing each other willingly so he could just watch them beat each other up. Didn't quite pan out with his first two sticks, but the power of a twin rivalry cannot be matched for peak entertainment!
"I'm such a good dad!" Alan sighed to himself as he watched with a bowl of popcorn while Dark and Second fought for the nth time. "Happy birthday!"