Work Text:
Victor Nikiforov is a lonely boy. He remembers his past life very clearly, and his soulmate too. The heaviness of it all drags him down, and his too-emotional eyes show it.
The weight is what keeps the other kids away from him. “He’s too serious,” they say. “He’s scary.” If they knew what Victor knows, maybe they would be more serious, too.
That doesn’t matter to Victor. His soulmate will find him soon, and then everything will be alright. How does he know that? Yuuri promised. And Yuuri doesn’t break promises.
-
The magazines all call Victor “the world’s hottest bachelor”, and he certainly plays up to their expectations. Flirting and teasing his fans is a part of his routine, no matter how much Yakov tells him to stop.
Victor can’t appear lonely or longing. The press would find out about it and take every part of him until he was a hollow shell with no core.
They think that maybe he’s a new soul. The shadier tabloids whisper that Victor Nikiforov, the living legend, has no soulmate, and that is why he is still single.
Victor can wear this mask forever. He’ll take it to the grave, if he has to, lest some stranger claim to be his soulmate. Victor won’t ever let that happen.
-
Being a figure skater with no inspiration is draining. Figure skating has been a burden ever since he was forced to neglect both life and love, but now it is even worse. Victor is not even existing. He is merely drifting through the stream of time like a fallen twig. Until he finds Yuuri Katsuki.
Yuuri Katsuki, whose body creates music when he skates. Yuuri Katsuki, who drunkenly challenged him to a dance-off at the Grand Prix Final banquet. Yuuri Katsuki, who’d asked Victor to be his coach and then brushed him off when he offered a picture. Yuuri Katsuki, who skated Victor’s free skate and did it so well, so emotionally! Yuuri is everything Victor loves and hates all at the same time.
So Victor flies to Japan to train the intriguing boy. Just for that. It isn’t because this Yuuri reminds him of his past life’s Yuuri. No, Victor just wants to help Yuuri achieve his ice skating career’s peak. Anyways, what kind of person would Victor be if he broke his promises?
-
Yuuri Katsuki is so beautiful, and yet he doesn’t know it. Victor aches for him. Every molecule of Victor’s being craves Yuuri, but Victor will not indulge himself. His previous Yuuri promised that he would find Victor in their next lives, and Victor won’t have it any other way, no matter how tempted he is or how much Yuuri Katsuki resembles his Yuuri.
Anyways, Katsuki is not his Yuuri. Victor is Yuuri’s celebrity crush. Nothing else, nothing more. If Yuuri Katsuki was Victor’s Yuuri, he would have reacted the instant he saw Victor in the onsen.
Victor is disappointed, but he grits his teeth and smiles at this Yuuri anyways. This cute, chubby, naturally beautiful Yuuri is lovely in every way possible, but isn’t Victor’s Yuuri.
-
Victor is falling in love, and he hates himself for it.
He never should have flown to Japan to coach Yuuri Katsuki.
He should have realized that Yuuri Katsuki was dangerous the instant he smiled for the first time.
He should have realized that he was falling in love and left before he kissed Yuuri.
He should have ended the relationship when a feeling reminiscent of one from his past life stirred within him.
He shouldn’t have led Yuuri into this faux relationship.
And now Yuuri has won silver at the Grand Prix Final, and wants to get married.
Victor wants Yuuri Katsuki, but Victor also wants his past Yuuri. So he smiles and tells Yuuri that they’ll get married when Yuuri wins gold. Victor knows he’s just buying time for his Yuuri, but what else is there to do?
-
Victor trains with Yurio and Yuuri in St. Petersburg while coaching Yuuri. On the side, he is writing a book as a back-up plan for when his body refuses to listen to his whims.
Yuuri looks at him a little differently and acts a little more distant than usual, and Victor is fine with that. Yuuri Katsuki is perfect and beautiful, and if he breaks up with Victor, Victor will accept his decision and move on, because Victor will be free to have his past Yuuri. Victor is completely fine with that.
…Right?
-
Victor is at an interview about his book, on a break from training. He released his first novel a month ago as a historical fiction piece, and the public has been none the wiser, despite its immense popularity. The only people who know what it really is about are Victor and his past Yuuri, wherever that Yuuri is. Hopefully that Yuuri will find out about Victor and come to find him, just like he promised.
Victor sometimes catches oddly hopeful glances from Yuuri Katsuki, and Victor doesn’t know how to feel about that, but he tells himself that it is bad that the ice Yuuri had erected between them is melting, because Victor’s past Yuuri might show up any day now.
The deadline for Victor’s second novel is a few days away. He’s dreading the ending.
-
Victor flew out to his house from his past life without bringing anyone. Yuuri looked a bit unnerved when Victor said he was going alone, but Victor is sure that Yakov and Yurio will be able to calm him down.
He finds his old village and is surprised to see that almost nothing has changed from the last time. The cobblestone streets are still grimy with coal and dirt; the wooden houses still covered with pure white snow. The only differences that he discerns are modernized lights and one missing house. His old house.
In its place is an empty square bordered off by charred stones. Amidst the ashes on the floor is a burnt stake. Looking at it, Victor remembers his death in vivid color.
-
“Victor, you can’t do this! I won’t allow it!”
“Yuuri, I don’t care! You are going to live, whether you like it or not!”
Victor pushed Yuuri to the floor angrily. Yuuri broke his fall with his hands and looked at Victor sadly.
Victor fell to his knees and hugged Yuuri. “I’m sorry, Yuuri… I’m sorry!” He poured out the words from his mouth, the lump in his throat growing harder to get around. “I love you, I’m so sorry… Yuuri…”
“Vitya…” Yuuri whispered the endearment that Victor had taught to him on a sunny day in the forest, when they didn’t have to worry about death or escape.
Victor looked up, his eyes the color of Neptune and shiny from crying, tears trailing down his cheeks. “…Yuu-kun?”
“Are you sure about this?”
“I am. More than anything.“
“Then…” Yuuri kissed Victor’s fingertips and pushed his hand to his heart. “I’ll find you next time, and we’ll be together. I’m here for you, OK?”
“OK,” Victor replied, smiling through his fears. “OK.”
-
Victor was tied to a wooden pole. The villagers were carrying the pole above them, chanting “If a man lies with a male as with a woman, thou hast committed an abomination; they shalt surely be put to death; for their blood be upon them.”
Tears that shone like mercury in the light fell from Victor’s eyes, but he didn’t cry out. He was in great pain, the villagers having beat him before tying him up rather uncomfortably.
When they arrived at the square, the strongest men stuck the pole into the ground, Victor hoisted high above the crowd. Young boys crowded at the front and piled wood at the bottom of the pole. Men, women, and children all jeered at him, spitting and throwing rotten fruits. The village pastor waddled to the front. Victor would’ve laughed, had the situation not been so serious.
“Victor Nikishen, you are charged with sodomy! Do you plead guilty or innocent?”
That’s not my name, Victor thought. My name is Victor Katayama-Nikishen. I’m married to Yuuri.
Victor forced the words out of his dry mouth. “Innocent.”
“Liar!”
The cry echoed in the village, with young boys beginning to mock him. Victor gritted his teeth and bit his lip in order to not cry out for Yuuri. Yuuri would live, even if Victor had to die for him.
“Where is your partner, Yuuri Katayama?”
Don’t say it like that, he thought. Yuuri’s name is a song spun out of silk, not some dirty word for you to spit out.
“I won’t incriminate my husband!”
“Then you will die!” The pastor roared. Two girls rushed up and threw flaming torches onto the wood pile. The fire crept up Victor’s pole. The flames made the air in front of his eyes waver with heat, and it started getting hard to breathe.
As Victor struggled to breathe, he caught a glimpse of black hair and chocolate eyes under a hood. Yuuri mouthed “I’m here,” to him. Those words were the last thing Victor remembered before his lungs gave out.
-
Victor’s novel series is the highest selling series in the world, according to multiple bookstores. Victor acts happy in front of the media, but inside he is very worried. His past Yuuri has not contacted him at all, and Victor has begun to wonder if perhaps past Yuuri forgot his promise.
Victor shakes off the fear and fakes a smile at himself in the mirror. For now, he will worry about his fans not being able to read his handwriting.
Yuuri Katsuki comes in to get him, and Victor smiles geniunely. “Thank you.”
“Victoooor, what am I going to do during the signing? People will stare if I just stand behind you,”
Victor hugs him tightly and puts his mouth next to Yuuri’s ear. “You can do whatever you want, Yuuri. I’ll be watching,” he purrs.
Yuuri pulls away as a shy smile spreads across his face, and he whispers “I love you,” before turning away and running from the room.
Victor stands there, shocked. Yuuri has never said that to him before. Victor has, on multiple occasions, uttered those words with a feeling of deep betrayal, but he can’t imagine what motivated Yuuri Katsuki to finally respond likewise.
He walks out of the small room to a plastic table and a chair, equipped with a pen. His mind is still whirring furiously, but his mouth is carrying on as he signs his fans’ books.
-
It takes two hours for Victor to sign all of the books. Just when he thinks he’s done, Yuuri pops up in front of him, clutching both of Victor’s novels.
“Yuuri, what?” He says, his mind still in a tizzy from two hours prior.
A small blush creeps across Yuuri’s cheeks as he holds out the books to Victor. “P-please… sign these.”
Victor shakes his head amusedly. “Katsudon, we’re dating. We sleep in the same bed. I could sign your books anytime.”
Yuuri’s blush intensifies, and he looks away. “I just wanted to get the fan experience, one last time.”
Victor revels guiltily in the adorableness of his boyfriend as he picks up his pen. “OK, Yuuri.”
He flips open the cover of the first book and writes “To my favorite pork cutlet bowl,” in fancy script. Underneath it, he signs his name in a flourish. Setting it aside, he opens up the second book to find something written there already.
In Yuuri Katsuki’s messy scrawl are the words, “I’m sorry I took so long.”
Victor Nikiforov stares at the words in utter shock. He doesn’t notice that tears are marring the book’s pages, or that his nose is beginning to run. He’s only aware of the fact that Yuuri was always there, whispering “I’m here,” whether he knew it or not.