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It was annoying how easily something could still sour his mood for days. He liked to think he fixed his anger issues and could handle things calmly now, no matter how frustrating or nerve-wracking it was to him. Like a normal person, as Sokka once mentioned when he commented on how much he’s changed over the years. That was expected of Zuko as the leader of a nation he wanted to change just as much, too.
Unfortunately, he was never much of a normal person when it came to Mai.
The late afternoon had started off as usual, with Kiyi skipping into his chambers and chattering away about what happened at school for the day. Zuko always put down whatever letter he was reading or writing to listen to her until their mother whisked her away. He loved hearing about how much fun Kiyi had and what she was learning; she kept him so up to speed with how well the Royal Fire Academy for Girls was doing with the educational reforms in place that he almost didn’t feel the need to check in on the institution himself.
Almost, because Zuko could never pass up the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the academy’s finest teacher in her newfound element — for both professional and personal reasons.
Which Kiyi was aware of, despite him denying or thinking up some non-answer to give her time and time again. So her swooning over a supposed suitor of Mai’s greeting her with flowers at the school gate and accompanying her home? A strange sight to see, to say the least. Or maybe it was perfectly normal for her to think that was sweet, and he was just trying really hard to not let the weird feeling in his chest turn into irritation he wouldn’t be able to hide from a six year old he knows would tease him.
But Kiyi’s delighted sighs and smiles seemed genuine. It just made things worse.
Completely oblivious to his inner turmoil, his sister continues with, “Me and Jia finally pieced something else together today, too!”
“What would that be, hmm?”
“The flowers Mai places on her desk are from that guy! Her vase has a new batch every few days and they’re always so pretty. We thought it was just some nice decoration that she decided to add to the classroom, but it’s obviously so she can have something to remind her of him while she’s teaching us.”
Kiyi beams up at him as she asks, “Isn’t that sweet, Zuzu?”
If he were still his old self, he probably (definitely) would’ve stormed out to set something on fire. There was a small part of him that still wanted to, admittedly. But he’d rather burn himself on purpose than let Kiyi see him revert to old habits because he couldn’t keep his jealousy at bay. He’s worked so hard to leave that version of him behind; not even an alleged new man in Mai’s life was going to make him give in.
He could not, however, stand another second of hearing what else Kiyi might have seen of the new — alleged new — relationship, so the sigh he released when their mother came to check in on him and subsequently collect her was a relieved but heavy one.
Of course Mai had suitors. Zuko often thought about it in his many attempts to move on from her and pay attention to the other ‘suitable’ ladies at court who vied for his. But it was always just that: a thought. He may have survived the reality of her seeing someone else last time, even being on a mission with them for two whole days, but the acceptance of it wasn’t easy. If he was going to be completely honest about Mai’s short-lived relationship with Kei Lo, he didn’t accept it at all. She knew as much because he told her.
Then she reminded him that she left because of how much he kept hurting her, and for the first time, Zuko wondered if maybe they weren’t meant to be together in the end.
A thought that went as quickly as it came, but one that he considered nonetheless.
So if he was ever going to meet the guy his little sister was gushing about, then he would have to control his everything once they were introduced, because surely it would be Mai who would be doing it. Just like last time.
(And if he was lucky, this alleged new relationship would be short-lived, too.)
— — — — —
“Zuko, you’ve been brooding all week.”
It’s the first thing his mother has said since the carriage left the palace. Or maybe the first that’s actually registered to him because he has been brooding, and the sight of the Royal Fire Academy for Girls coming closer into view was slowly pulling him back to attention.
There were plenty of things for him to attend to in the days leading up to his visit to the academy, but he thought about Mai all week. In the garden where he saw a group of multicolored ladybugs he knew she’d love to see, when a young girl in the same hairstyle she had waved at him while he was visiting one of the outskirt towns, during the council sessions that took slightly longer than usual because he could hardly stay focused on what was being discussed.
While Zuko could never truly get her out of his head, it was harder for him to pretend she wasn’t in it when he was reminded of how much she was still in his heart.
“A lot’s been going on,” he states plainly. Ursa raises a brow at him, clearly unsatisfied with the answer. She knew about his crush on Mai as a young child and knew about the relationship they had as teenagers, but they both skipped the stage of him talking to her about it. Zuko wasn’t exactly sure how to tell her why he’s been acting the way he was without sounding like a fool — not that he believes she would think that of him, but weren’t crushes not typically something to discuss with a parent?
But she doesn’t poke at it and the carriage finally comes to a stop after a few moments. Zuko pretends not to see his mother’s knowing smile when he immediately reaches for the latch on the door and steps out before one of the guards can assist them.
Even if it wasn’t part of his duties as the Fire Lord, he still would’ve liked to personally see the changes he ordered for the nation’s educational institutions. It was a vital step in the reforms he wanted for his generation and the generations to come; knowledge was power and they’ve spent far too long putting the wrong ideals and beliefs forward for the strength of their nation.
The Fire Nation under his rule would be empowered, but not overpowering. Not anymore.
Despite the initial pushback, there has been steady progress. Zuko spent hours with teachers across the nation to revise and improve the syllabi for each level. Plenty of the new teachers he’d screened himself with the help of Toph, who would tell him whether or not the aspiring educators were lying. Older teachers who were set in their ways were made to leave their positions if they couldn’t sincerely accept and follow his terms. Everything was changed for the better and the reports that came back to him regularly was that they were doing better.
He should probably pay the other schools more visits, though. He was certain his advisors noticed how often he dropped by the Royal Fire Academy for Girls and that it wasn’t just because of his sister.
He and his mother part ways as she waits for Kiyi by the gate and he goes to an entrance around the back, so as not to disrupt dismissal time. Zuko didn’t know if it was done intentionally in the event that he dropped by, but all students seemed to be quickly ushered out from the classrooms on that side of the school. Regardless, it was a system that worked well for him, as well as for the teachers who needed to make sure there were no students loitering about after class hours.
Also, that was where Mai’s classroom was situated. He almost never went to the faculty room or headmistress’ office before hers in case she’d still be there.
Like most afternoons, she still was. The way the sunlight framed her face as she checked if her terrariums were properly shut rendered him speechless for a moment. Zuko stood by the doorway in silence, watching her move around the room to fix some other things — stacking up books, collecting writing implements left behind, pushing back chairs that weren’t quite pushed back. Mai looked just as beautiful surrounded by the flowers in her aunt’s flower shop but seeing her in a classroom, even while she wasn’t teaching, was truly the better fit for her.
Which reminded him of what had him so distracted the whole week. His eyes move from her to the teacher’s desk and the confirmation of Kiyi’s words makes his heart drop to his stomach.
The vase filled with orange camellias had one faced towards the doorway, as if it was situated that way to mock him. Mai hates orange. Which means this new guy didn’t know her that well yet, or she liked him enough to tolerate the color in something that came from him. Or maybe—
“You know, Fire Lords aren’t known to linger in doorways.” Mai’s voice cuts through his thought spiral. She makes her way down the center aisle, glancing at him once before looking back straight ahead. “They usually have someone announce their presence if they don’t announce it themselves.”
Zuko smiles, momentarily forgetting about the mocking flowers. “My apologies, Sifu Mai.”
“If you’re not a student or a fellow teacher, you can’t call me that.”
His smile widens and he dips his head in agreement. What he would give to see how differently Mai must speak to her students. Or to see if it was the same way she spoke to him and they were just as enamoured by her as he was.
Mai’s face doesn’t give anything away, as usual. But the slight squint in her eyes told him she was curious.
“What are you doing here, Zuko?”
“I came to pick up Kiyi.” Who was probably already with his mother on the way back to the palace. He asked for another carriage to come to the academy to take him back after he was done with… whatever else he would decide to do after speaking to Mai. “And to just see how things are. I have to make sure the old ways aren’t creeping back in.”
Wrong thing to say, because the curiosity in her eyes immediately turns into disbelief. “You think I’d let that happen?”
“No! No, of course not,” he’s quick to say as he walks towards her. “I’m sorry. That’s not what I was trying to say. I just… I just meant that I wanted to see how good it’s been around here instead of just hearing about it. Kiyi always has some great stories to tell me about her day and she really looks up to you.”
Two minutes into the conversation and he’s already managed to irritate her. Excellent work, Fire Lord.
But Mai doesn’t tell him to get lost, so he wasn’t completely out of her good graces just yet.
Now back to what he really (embarrassingly) came there for. “The room looks great — oh, there’s uh, that new case of bugs Kiyi mentioned the other day. And these.” These wretched flowers. Zuko gestures towards the vase stiffly and clears his throat. “They’re… pretty.”
“They’re pretty.” Mai repeats, and he can’t tell if it was in suspicion of the way he said it or in affirmation that she did think they were nice.
Zuko can only bring his arm back to his side without a response.
Thankfully, Mai keeps the conversation going. “I focus on teaching the natural sciences now. They’re in theme with the subject.” She pauses for a moment, gently touching one of the camellias with her index finger. There’s a small smile on her lips as she does so and it takes way too much energy for him not to scowl. “The girls like the vivariums more but they’re always interested to see what flowers I put in the vase.”
“Of course,” he manages to croak out.
“Shoma picks out some nice ones for me twice a week. You remember him, don’t you?”
He had no idea who Shoma was. He’s pretty sure he’s never heard the name before. And he didn’t like knowing that the guy she was seeing was someone he apparently already met and just couldn’t remember.
“Yeah, uh… it’s really nice that he gives you ones that you like. Suitors should be attentive.” That was definitely gonna make the rest of the conversation awkward and likely cut it short, but he didn’t know what else to say. Besides, he meant it.
Mai turns to look at him and the look on her face is… amused? Definitely some confusion in it too, but she had that quirk in the corner of her lips that meant she was trying not to laugh.
“You don’t remember Shoma at all, do you?”
“Am I supposed to?”
It comes out a little snappish and Zuko thinks the conversation could really take a turn once Mai inevitably sensed the jealousy underneath. Nothing in her expression changes, though.
“Shoma is my cousin, not a suitor. He was helping us out with the flower shop on-and-off for a while and has been working there full-time ever since I started teaching,” she explains. “You two were introduced on one of the many occasions you dropped by when you were ‘in the area.’”
Zuko nods as though he’s suddenly remembered who her cousin was and what he looked like, even punctuating it with an ‘ahh.’ He’d wrack his brain later on for the memory. He was too focused on the fact that Kiyi got it all wrong and that he wouldn’t be subjecting everyone at the palace to an even worse state of brooding once he got back.
There was no new suitor. Mai was single and as lovely as ever.
And looking at him in suspicion. “Did Kiyi tell you I was seeing someone?”
Not wanting to pin the blame on her, he settles with, “She may have said something that made me assume some other things.”
Mai shakes her head but the look on her face is still amused. Fond, even. Kiyi’s favorite teacher absolutely liked her just as much as she did.
“Well, she’s wrong. There’s no one bringing me flowers like that.”
That was the confirmation Zuko wanted. He should’ve been overjoyed — he definitely wasn’t disappointed by the truth. But what came with that burst of warmth in his chest was a nagging voice in his head: Are you going to do something or just wait around again?
A push of confidence, he thinks. It must be, because the next thing he says wasn’t something he planned on saying prior to the visit.
“Would you mind if I brought you flowers sometimes?” Zuko holds her gaze steadily, hoping she could see how earnest the question was. He was well aware of how the question could ruin everything; they were in a good place as friends, and he didn’t want her to think he’d only made an effort to repair their friendship so they could end up dating again. But he couldn’t truthfully say he didn’t want to date her again either. He had to see if they might still be on the same page.
The question sits in the air as Mai just stares at him for a moment. A handful of moments, really, that he starts preparing himself for the rejection.
But to his surprise — and delight — her face softens. “No, I wouldn’t mind.”
How he manages to keep his composure is beyond him, but he doesn’t seem to have control of his face because whatever expression came across it made Mai laugh. He’s really missed hearing that.
“You’ll have to get them from our shop, though. Aunt Mura would hate it if you bought flowers from anywhere else.”
“Maybe she’ll appreciate seeing an arrangement from the royal garden,” Zuko says, the smile on his face growing wider when he sees one creeping onto hers. “But there will definitely be purchases from her shop, too.”
— — — — —
“I apologize, my lady, but could I just repeat the request one more time for clarity?”
Ursa exhales slowly, nodding at the attendant, Aiko, to proceed.
“The Fire Lord would like medium-sized bouquets of any of the flowers from the list he’s given to be purchased weekly from Floral Essence owned by Mura Sasaki?”
“Yes, unless he asks for flowers to be taken from the garden here instead.”
“Duly noted, Lady Ursa. And each bouquet would then be delivered to Mura’s residence nearby, but addressed to her niece, Mai, who lives there?”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“And this is to be done twice a week, on Mondays and Wednesdays, at seven in the morning?”
“Yes, that’s also correct.”
Although Aiko still looks confused by the oddly specific request, she merely nods her head and bows before taking her leave.
Ursa chuckles to herself as she turns back to the garden, watching her son inspect the different flowers in full bloom. She found it adorable that the woman Zuko was courting — again, as she has been informed — was the same little girl that he had a crush on all those years ago. It was bittersweet to think of how she missed out on seeing such an important relationship of his in her time away, though. She had a lot to make up for to the children she left behind.
But starting over was a common occurrence among them. She’d gotten another chance at life, as did Zuko. Now he was getting another chance at love, too.
And Ursa was glad she was around to see it.