Archive of Our Own

Part 1

It was cold. Not winter in Canada, but definitely the last days of fall. Ilya shivered, pulling the wool of his peacoat tighter, not that it made much difference. A leaf fell, almost onto his head, as he kept walking. Ilya felt his phone in his pocket. It was warm from holding onto it, but he kept it turned off. Shane was at the gym and he'd be home soon. To notice that Ilya wasn't there. He'd call him. But no answer. Not right now.

Ilya just needed space to think and... not feel. Though as he thought that, he knew that he felt everything all at once and entirely too much, it was the problem. Ilya had felt this coming for weeks. An intense pressure to work out more, spend more time running, and lifting weights. More time on long walks after dinner. But not with Shane. Alone. Less of a motivation to eat. Or to binge eat at meals, but not when he wasn't being held accountable. He kept it to himself.

The sunlight, fighting to remain as it faded behind the trees, temporarily blinded him as he turned up the path. The wind bit at his cheeks. Maybe it was turning to winter tonight. Ilya didn't care. His hands shook as he checked his watch, seeing the time. Shane would be home now and probably texting him. A little voice inside him whispered that maybe he could turn his phone on. Didn't he want Shane to find him? Didn't he not want to be alone today? She wasn't.

She hadn't been alone. His mother. It wasn't the anniversary of her death, but her birth. It was officially different now. Ilya was one year older than his mother ever got to be. She'd always remain the same age, frozen in his memories, looking exactly the same, and never able to have her hair turn grey and her skin wrinkle. To have lines around her mouth while she smiled as she held her grandchildren. Never. Ilya leaned over, feeling physically ill. But nothing came up.

He gasped; his breath visible in the cold. Ilya kept walking. He wrapped his arms around his aching stomach and didn't stop moving. No idea where he was going to. He didn't mind. Or he didn't care. Either way, Ilya just wanted some space. As much as he craved Shane's arms around him and his fingers in his hair, he couldn't let himself be comforted right now. Tears didn't even fall. There were none left.

"Mama, I'm sorry," Ilya whispered. The darkness grew as the temperature continued to fall. Ilya kept walking.

🏒

"Ilya, I'm home!" Shane called, stepping into the warm air of their home. He toed off his shoes on the mat. None of the lights were on. He frowned, switching on the hall light.

"Ilya?"

No response. A dim light glowed in the living room. Shane followed it, setting his gym bag down in the doorway. The side lamp was on, but Ilya wasn't in the living room. Odd.

Shane pulled out his phone, seeing the last text message he'd sent Ilya about bringing home dessert. Unread. Now that was odd. Ilya not responding about chocolate cake wasn't normal. He texted him, asking where he was. Ilya stayed home while Shane went to the gym, saying that his shoulder hurt from overtraining the day before and he wanted a day off. Not completely out of the norm, but Ilya hadn't quite been himself lately.

Shane surprised him with waffles that morning and Ilya hadn't eaten.

"Too much sugar," he joked.

"I've seen you put powdered sugar on top of syrup covered waffles." Ilya had shrugged and headed into the living room with a book and a blanket.

Shane let him. He didn't want to push when something was clearly bothering his husband. He checked his phone again. The message was undelivered. His stomach clenched in response. That couldn't be right. Thumbing over, Shane called Ilya. It went straight to voicemail.

Shane took a deep breath. Maybe his phone battery died?

Shane called again. Voicemail. Ilya's rough voice stated that he wouldn't listen to the message. He hadn't changed it. Shane checked their messages, seeing that Ilya hadn't said anything since around 4 when he said he might go for a walk. Shane glanced out the dark window. The cold temperatures outside caused steam to form inside in the window corners. He could hear the wind whirling around the frame. Not walking weather.

"Fuck."

Shane flipped back to his phone app and was about to call Ilya again when Svetlana's name appeared on the screen. He quickly answered. "Hey."

"Hi, is Ilya with you? I've been trying to call him, but he's not answering me." Her voice sounded tight and she spoke quickly.

"No. He's not." Shane felt his heart start to race. "I just got home and he's not here. I called too, but his phone might be off."

Svetlana swore in Russian.

"Why? Did he say something to you?"

"No." Svetlana moved something around in the background. "But today is not good day for him."

Shit. "What's today?" There was a pause and Shane checked to make sure the phone hadn't disconnected.

"Today is Irina's birthday. His mama."

Fuck. His mama's birthday and Ilya wasn't answering his phone. Fuck. He was missing.

Part 2

Shane's hands were shaking as he hung up, promising to call and keep Svetlana updated as they searched for Ilya. It was a little after seven. He'd had at least three hours for his walk. Ilya had gone on so many walks recently, but he always kept to the same trails heading out into the forest. But in the cold and dark? Fuck fuck fuck. Ilya's jacket was missing, but his hat and mittens were in the basket by the door. The wind picked up.

A storm headed in their direction and Ilya was out in it, without his phone on or proper attire and definitely not in a good head space.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Shane asked the empty room. No. It wasn't time to panic. He had to find Ilya and make sure he was okay.

His mom answered on the fourth ring, which hadn't helped his anxiety. "Sorry, Shane. I lost my phone down the couch. I actually was about to-"

"Ilya's missing," Shane interrupted.

"What? What do you mean he's missing?"

Shane ran a hand through his hair. "He's not here. I just got home and he's not here."

"Okay, that doesn't mean he's missing." Yuna's voice was calm.

"I tried to call him. His phone is turned off."

A sinking feeling grew in his stomach at the long pause this time. Shane pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting against the burning in his eyes.

"That's not normal," Yuna stated.

Shane felt like screaming, but bit his lip before speaking again. "No. Svetlana called me right before I rang you."

"Okay."

"Today is Irina's birthday. Ilya's mom's birthday. He didn't say anything. I didn't know!"

"Fuck," Yuna whispered.

Brushing past the fact that his mom didn't swear that often, Shane kept going. "He went for a walk around 4. I don't know how long his phone has been off." The sun had fully set now. No moon to give any light as clouds rolled in.

"Do you know where he likes to walk?" Rustling in the background and the sound of keys muffled the sound slightly.

"I think so."

"Okay, text me the trail. Your dad is grabbing flashlights and blankets." She took a breath. "Who do you want me to call? It's dark and freezing. We're gonna need help."

Fuck. Shane gripped the edges of the kitchen counter, not even realizing he'd gone in there. They'd need help to find Ilya in these conditions. People would find out he was missing and it would be a media circus if they did it wrong. "I'll text the team to come help. I don't - I don't -"

"I know, Shane. But we might need more help." A short pause and the sound of a zipper. "Let's get out there and start looking. If we can't find him ourselves soon, we might need to call for reinforcements."

Shane swallowed around the feeling of knives in his throat. "Ok."

"Get emergency supplies and text the team. We'll meet you at the trail."

After sending a group text to the team, asking for help to find Ilya, Shane grabbed the emergency supplies along with Ilya's hat, mittens, and scarf.

He shoved them into a backpack with water and energy bars. Shane quickly dressed in his warm clothing and boots. He had to find him. He couldn't let Ilya be alone in this.

The drive to the trailhead was only about twenty minutes. There was only one other car parked in the lot. An outrageous orange sportscar. Ilya's favorite. A very impractical vehicle for Canada seasons, but he still loved it. It confirmed his fear that Ilya was out there, not answering him. Why did Ilya not tell him?

Text responses poured in from the team. Shane confirmed that Ilya's car was there and they'd wait for whoever was coming before they started their search. Most of them were on their way. David drove in a minute later as Shane peaked in Ilya's car windows to confirm nothing was suspicious. His mom jumped out of the car and hugged him.

"Bood, Barrett, Hayes, and Haas are on their way to help. Coach Weibe was out of town, but said he'd come back and to keep him posted." 

"As soon as everyone gets here, we'll set out in search groups." Yuna adjusted Shane's scarf.

Misty rain had started to fall lightly. Shane sent another text message to Ilya, watching as it didn't go through. Not delivered. His phone lit up in the darkness with another message from Svetlana. Shane suddenly remembered the "find your friend" app on his phone and opened it up. Ilya's phone was off, so it didn't help, but it gave his last location as the start of the trail. Damn.

Four of the Centaurs showed up within the next twenty minutes. Shane paced back and forth. Ilya was out there and he needed to go find him. But realistically he knew he couldn't go off on his own in the dark and poor weather. David put a hand lightly on his arm to comfort him. Shane forced a half smile at his dad. Yuna had split the group into search teams and gave them jobs. Hopefully Ilya remained on the trail or... Shane didn't want to finish that thought.

"If we don't find him by midnight, we call Ottawa Search and Rescue," Yuna stated. They had three hours.

Deal. They all nodded, determined to find Ilya as soon as possible. A few tiny snowflakes started to fall as they started onto the trail to find Ilya. Shane checked for Ilya's location on the app. Nothing. He set up an alert for it to notify him as soon as it turned back on, hoping that Ilya would change his mind and turn his phone on soon. Please let me find you, Shane thought.

🏒

Ilya's toes were numb in his shoes as he walked. His hands, tucked into his pockets were freezing and no amount of rubbing was keeping them warm. Turn back. Turn back, the voice in his head said. Ilya stumbled slightly. His shoes slipping on the damp leaves. Mama's last birthday. She'd been quiet, in one of her low points, but tried to smile for Ilya. They'd gone skating together, just them. Ilya fell on the ice when a large kid shoved him in a hurry to get around him.

Mama knelt beside him. "Sweetheart, you have to go back."

Ilya shook his head as snowflakes fell into his eyelashes and clung there. That wasn't what she said that day. She'd helped him up and gave him a big hug. Then they'd gone home for cake. Ilya's fingers rested on the cross necklace, feeling the cold metal and warming it up.

Too tired. Too tired to cry more tears. Ilya tried to imagine her face as they'd skated, holding hands. It was blurry. 

He'd lost track of time and how far he'd walked. Shane. Shane would be worried sick. Ilya paused, feeling the slight tingle in his legs as he stopped. He couldn't see his watch in the darkness. Ilya's hands shook as he pulled out his phone and watched as it powered on. 11:57pm. Wow. Fuck. Ilya stuck it back in his pocket, not seeing the dozens of notifications as they lit up his screen. Probably time to go back home.

Ilya turned and started walking back the way he came.

One misstep, wet snowy leaves, and a tree root protruding from the trail in the darkness. Ilya's ankle twisted as he slammed onto the ground. He slipped from the trail and out of sight.

Part 3

"Ilya!"

"Rozanov!"

"Rozy!"

The variation of Ilya's name rang through the air. But no response. No moan or yell back. Nothing. Shane checked a message from Yuna, saying she'd had no luck and was getting discouraged. It was almost midnight. The snow had started to come down a little heavier. It wasn't sticking well, but it had started to pile on top of the cold leaves. Shane pursed his lips together. Ilya. Where was he?

He opened his phone again, thumbing to the location app. Nothing from Ilya's phone. No location ping in almost six hours. Shane put his glove back on as the wind bit at the exposed skin.

"Hey, let's try a little further this way," Bood said.

Hayes nodded, looking at Shane. "You coming?"

"Yeah."

He shoved his phone back into his pocket at the same time a notification went off. Shane checked it and grinned. "His phone! Ilya turned his phone on. It's searching for location."

Shane waited anxiously, brushing snowflakes off the screen as a pin dropped, showing Ilya's location. About a mile from them. Hayes messaged the rest of the group, sending them the location from the pin Shane dropped, lighting up where Ilya's phone was.

Shane's stomach clenched as he called Ilya. It rang, finally going through. But after five rings, it went to voicemail. Ilya still wasn't answering. Or maybe he couldn't. Shane broke into a run, Bood and Hayes close behind him.

🏒

Ilya slowly opened his eyes. Dark twisted shapes, spotted with white, stood above him. Trees. He'd fallen over a fucking tree root. He put his hand down and tried to sit up. Pain erupted in his right ankle. "Fuck!" he shouted. Ilya bit his lip as he moved the ankle, feeling it was already swelling. He fell back against the sticks and snowy leaves. It took a few long moments for him to realize that he'd slid down a ravine. A burning pain from scratches on his back helped him put it together.

Ilya moaned softly. "Mama? I should've listened sooner."

He attempted to push up on his elbows and lift his ankle. Ilya cursed loudly. Nope. No way he could stand up and walk out of the ravine. His phone! Ilya's hands shook as he thrust them into his pocket, realizing with horror that his phone wasn't there. It must've slipped out when he fell. Something warm and sticky rubbed onto his hands from the ground as he tried to sit up. Where? Where was his phone?

Ilya lifted his injured ankle and tried to push himself up the ravine. Deep aching pain, pulling at his side and holding him in place. What the fuck? Ilya's vision swam and he blinked, trying to focus. Why couldn't he move

 Shane. He needed Shane to help him.

Again, Ilya searched the ground around him, desperate to locate his missing phone. Silent tears ran down his cheeks. Suddenly, there was a small light above him. His phone. Someone was calling it.

Ilya blinked, realizing it was his favorite photo of Shane he could see. His Shanya. His phone lay face up, only four feet from him. It darkened as "missed call" went across the screen. No! Ilya frantically searched around him, until his fingers found a stick. He reached up, trying to use the stick to knock it closer to his hand. The stick was too short. Damn it! A second stick, longer by a little, found his fingers. He gasped, feeling the pulling pain as he reached for his phone with the stick.

The screen lit up again. Shane. Ilya's chest heaved as he fought to stay calm, but the stick broke from being pressed against the ground and the phone didn't move any closer.

Another missed call.

Ilya felt his stomach contract painfully and he turned his head to throw up. Coughing and gagging on bile since he'd not eaten since dinner the night before. The motion made him cry out. What the fuck?

His phone lit up for a third time. Ilya brushed his hand across his forehead, smearing wetness.

"Come on... please," he gasped, trying to locate another stick or something to use. He finally found one attached to the log he lay next to. Ilya tried twice to break it off. Nope. Ilya looked up as the call ended. No. "Please... don't give up.... on me."

His phone went dark. Ilya fought to keep from screaming as sobs burst from his chest. He shouldn't have walked off alone. He should have just told Shane what was bothering him. He didn't want to die alone. Not like Mama.

"Sweetheart, don't give up. You can do this," the wind seemed to say.

Ilya opened his eyes again and clenched his fists, willing himself to calm down. He could do this. He wouldn't leave his Shanya like this. Ilya grasped the branch on the log and snapped it off, feeling small pieces stab into his hand, but kept going. He turned a little, reaching up with the branch. Once. Twice. Until the third time, it brushed his phone and started moving it toward him.

"Da," Ilya said, coughing as his phone slid across the leaves and he could finally grab it. He flopped back, ignoring the pain in his stomach that felt warm. It took two tries to unlock his phone. Ilya pressed call and waited.

"Ilya!" Shane's voice was raw and panicked. "Ilya, where are you?"

Ilya meant to say "I'm here", but only managed to cough as spit bubbled on his lip. He wiped it away. "Shane," he whispered. "'m sorry."

"I'm coming for you. I promise."

Ilya coughed again, seeing that there were bloody fingerprints on his phone. His heart sank. It wasn't spit on his lips, but blood.

Part 4

Ilya shivered. At least he was warm enough to still be shivering. He knew that much after winters in Russia. "I fell..."

"I'm almost there. Just stay awake."

Ilya nodded, then remembered that Shane couldn't see him. "Da. Tak ustal." His eyes closed and he forced them back open. A soft rustle drew his attention and he saw a deer standing near him, gently nosing the leaves and snow. It couldn't be real. Ilya moaned. 

"What hurts?" Shane asked, sounding winded.

"lodyzhka. Moya storona."

"Ilya, I can't understand you." Ilya didn't even realize. He tried again. "Ankle. My side... hurts." He coughed, feeling more blood on his lips. Ilya didn't tell him. He didn't want Shane to worry more. The deer glanced his way and walked off, leaving footprints in the snow. Ilya felt his eyes closing again. His stomach contracted again, causing him to dry heave. 

Distantly, Ilya heard voices calling his name, but the world felt too cold and heavy. Shane's voice got louder. His Shanya was coming to save him. It would be okay. The phone slipped from his fingers as he lost consciousness.

🏒

"Ilya! I don't see him. Where is he?" Shane asked, looking at the location pin on his phone. He should be able to see him. He'd stopped responding five minutes previous, but the line was still active.

"He said he fell right?" Hayes glanced around. "There!" 

He pointed to a tree root sticking up and disturbed branches, odd tracks in the fresh snow. Shane ran over to the spot, looking down the ravine. He swung his flashlight beam over the area until he saw, approximately twenty feet from the top, Ilya laying flat on his back next to a large log. He couldn't see his face from that angle.

"Ilya!" Shane yelled. A soft moan reached his ears and he almost cried. "I have to get to him." Shane reached for a nearby branch to start down.

"Wait, you have to be smart. Here." Bood wrapped a rope around Shane's waist, having brought it in his backpack. He knotted it tightly. "We can't lose both of you."

Yuna appeared on the trail with David and the others behind them, just as Shane was about to start down the hill. She looked where Ilya lay, not moving, but making soft sounds. "Ottawa Search and Rescue are on the way. I called as soon as you located him. Figured we might need help getting him to safety. Is he talking?"

"No. I need to get to him!" Shane checked the rope, getting a thumb's up from Bood.

"I'm coming with you." David's voice was firm and steady. "I have first aid training and you don't."

Shane opened his mouth to protest, but snapped it shut. No, he needed his dad's help. Bood pulled out another rope and helped David get ready. Shane watched Ilya in the light of the flashlight as he waited, fiddling with the strap of his backpack. He needed to see Ilya, to make sure he was breathing and okay. 

"Ready," David said.

It was slow moving down the ravine. The snow and leaves were very slippery. They didn't want to fall down and become injured too, or to land on Ilya and hurt him more than he already was. Shane's hands were sweaty on the rope, despite the cold and he focused on breathing slow. In and out. Finally, they reached Ilya.

Shane touched his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his body and seeing his chest rising and falling. "He's alive."

Shane knelt beside him, evaluating him as David took out the first aid kit and did the same. Blood and dirt smeared across his pale forehead. His coat was torn and dirty, along with his jeans. His right ankle appeared swollen. Shane froze when he saw it. A foreign object, jutted out, from Ilya's left side. Most likely a large branch. He'd been impaled. David clocked it at the same time. He gently touched around the edge, his fingers red with blood. Ilya's blood. Shane blanched.

"Yuna, he's been impaled through his abdomen on the left side. Better let the rescue crew know." David's voice was calm as he spoke into his phone.

The sound caused Ilya's eyes to open.

Shane grabbed his hand, squeezing it tight. He ran his fingers through Ilya's hair, causing him to give a soft smile. "My Shane," Ilya muttered.

"I'm right here. I found you. We're gonna get you out of here."

He nodded, coughing again. Little drops of blood splattered onto his chin. Shane felt sick.

"Dad," Shane hissed.

"He's also likely bleeding internally." David stated.

"Okay. Search and Rescue are less than ten minutes away."

David worked swiftly, stabilizing the branch and packing around the wound to stop the bleeding. Ilya moaned, but didn't open his eyes again. Shane slipped his backpack off, pulling out Ilya's hat and mittens. He slipped them on his ice cold hands, squeezing them again to let him know he was still there. Ilya barely responded as Shane pulled his hat over his curls.

"Gotta get you warm. You're too cold," Shane said, wiping the blood from Ilya's chin. Using the emergency blanket from his bag, he did his best to cover his arms and shoulders without blocking David's work.

"Knew you come... Sorry... left." Ilya whispered.

"I know. We can talk about it later. Just stay still."

Ilya hadn't mentioned being impaled, so Shane suspected his adrenaline and confusion due to the blood loss, had prevented him from feeling pain there. No sense in telling him now.

The sound of two vehicles approaching and voices speaking distracted Shane for a moment. He looked up to see headlights and flashlights above. Shane kissed Ilya's forehead, not knowing what was going to happen next. After a few minutes, two men came down the ravine, secured with ropes and better climbing equipment. David moved to the side, letting them know what he'd done. Shane didn't want to go. He had to stay by Ilya's side. But he also knew they needed full access to him to save him.

Shane climbed back up to the top of the ravine with his dad. Yuna immediately wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. Additional help went down to assist, bringing a long orange medical board. No one spoke to Shane. Yuna deflected a rescuer, giving her the information she needed and leaving Shane to watch, waiting for his husband to be brought up. It felt like an eternity later, but Ilya finally emerged, strapped to the board and covered with blankets. Shane barely recognized him.

Ilya was loaded onto one of the small vehicles to be taken down the trail and to the waiting ambulance.

"We can have one person ride along if you'd like," a woman called.

David nodded at Shane and gave him a little nudge. He followed where her instructions and sat in the back of the vehicle by Ilya's head. Shane kissed him softly and kept a hand on Ilya's curls as the vehicle started down the path. "I love you, Ilya. Please stay with me."

Part 5

Each bump in the trail, each shift of the wheels across uneven ground, and each tremble of the engine caused Ilya to wince. The medics worked quietly and quickly. Shane kept his eyes on Ilya's face, feeling every groan in his own body as he watched his love in pain. One of them administered medication into an IV in his hand. Shane brushed Ilya's cheek.

"Should told you... my mama's birthday," Ilya whispered.

"Hey, it's okay. Next time, we can have cake to celebrate."

Ilya swallowed and nodded slightly. "Less sad..." He coughed, splattering blood on the inside of the oxygen mask.

Shane opened his mouth to say something, but the medic already saw. She fiddled with something and wiped the mask, checking his airway. Ilya wheezed slightly, trying to move and crying out in pain as he did. Stay. Shane put a hand on his shoulder and started humming softly. Ilya looked over at him before closing his eyes.

The medics unloaded Ilya from the vehicle as soon as they stopped. Shane quickly climbed out. Ilya reached for him, grabbing Shane's hand. His eyes were red and wet.

"Please," he gasped.

"We need to move," the paramedic interrupted.

Ilya's hand shook as he reached for his neck with his free hand. Shane tried to stop him and talk, but Ilya refused. He fiddled with his coat collar, reaching beneath. "Keep her... safe."

Bloody fingers grasped the gold cross necklace. "I - I can't take - "

"Please."

The pain in Ilya's voice broke him.

Shane unclasped the necklace and held it tight in his hand.

The medics quickly loaded Ilya into the helicopter. No. He had to stay with him. Shane stepped forward, but one of the rescuers stopped him.

“Sorry, there’s no room.”

“I’m his husband,” Shane said, feeling desperate.

“We’ll do our best to take of him,” one of the medics said. Damn it. Shane nodded as a tear ran down his cheek. He watched as the helicopter took off, taking his heart with it.

Shane frantically patted his pockets, looking for his keys. His finger hooked around the keychain as he ran to his car door. He grabbed it, but the keys slipped from his finger. "Fuck!" Realistically, Shane knew he shouldn't drive like this. But he couldn't wait for his parents to come back down the trail by walking. He had to go now. Ilya needed him there. He slid into his vehicle and turned on the car, feeling the heat blasting at him. Shane put the car into gear and drove.

A hauntingly beautiful piano song played from the radio as Shane focused on driving, trying to keep from sliding off the road. His heart pounded. What if that was it? What if Ilya was dying? He didn't get there fast enough. Tears ran freely. He slammed his hand down on the steering wheel, just needing to feel something physical. Sobs tore from his chest. His vision blurred, but he wiped it away. Ilya couldn't leave him like this. Please. He prayed to whoever might be out there... to save Ilya. 

Not sure how he didn't crash the car, Shane pulled into the parking lot of the Ottawa Hospital. Yuna had called four times, but he didn't answer. He parked in the closest spot he could find. Shane ran in the emergency room doors, spotting a young man, barely old enough to drink, sitting at the counter and looking at a magazine.

"Shane Hollander." He slapped his hand down on the counter, startling the nurse. "My husband, Ilya Rozanov was brought by helicopter. Where is he?"

"Of course, Mr. Hollander."

Shane's hands were shaking as he took a step back, feeling too close to this stranger as his world crashed around him. A woman cried loudly in the waiting room. A baby screamed in her mother's arms. Two men huddled in a corner.

"Sir?"

Shane snapped his head back, realizing the nurse had spoken to him. "Sorry."

"He's in emergency surgery." The young man frowned. "Would you like a quiet and private place to wait?"

The two men started to argue loudly.

Shane nodded. 

The nurse brought Shane to a private waiting room, promising to get him updates as soon as they had them. Shane opened his hand to text his mom, finding Ilya's cross necklace tight in his hand. The metal indented his hand from squeezing it tight. Shane's hands shook as he held up the chain and clasped it around his own neck. The warm metal sat on top of his shirt. Red filled in the design. Ilya's blood on his mother's cross.

"Please don't take your son from me. I love him. I need him still."

Part 6

David held tight to Yuna's hand as they pulled into the hospital parking lot. Nervously she tried texting Shane again, though he'd already responded to say Ilya was in surgery, but didn't know how he was. He kissed her fingers and turned off the car. They walked inside with hands still clasped tightly. A nurse showed them to the private waiting area. David steadied himself as he stepped into the room and took a good look at his son.

Blood smeared on his cheek, stark against the color of his freckles, what Ilya told him once was the first thing that he fell in love with. Shane had removed his jacket and mittens, dropping them in the chair beside him. He leaned forward on his knees. No anxious movements. Nothing. His hands were speckled with dirt and more blood. One hand clasped a gold cross necklace. Ilya's. His mother's necklace. Silent tears ran down Shane's cheeks and David desperately wanted to wipe them away.

The image of his son, a little boy with bubbly energy, after the first time he fell hard while David was teaching him to skate. He'd curled up into a tiny ball and tried not to cry. David scooped him up and held him until he smiled, asking to try again. He wished he could do the same right now.

"Oh sweetheart," Yuna murmured, going to his side and sitting beside him. She kissed his forehead.

Shane didn't lean into her touch. No. His arms remained on his knees, tight. His expression hard.

It was easier to close himself off to everyone right now. David didn't blame him. He sat on the other side of his son, settling his coat over in the next chair. No words were spoken. The rest of the Centaurs flowed into the room, including Coach Weibe. It was very kind of them to come for their teammates. Shane didn't speak. He just stared forward, holding tight to the necklace.

One. Two. Three. Four hours passed. Shane didn't pace or make an effort to speak. Yuna, the opposite of her son, buzzed around, checking in with the team to bring them snacks, and finding a nurse in the hall to see if they had news of her son-in-law. David stayed. He silently encouraged Shane to drink water from a bottle that Yuna brought him. Shane took a small sip. He finally leaned back in the chair, letting the softest groan escape his lips from the same position for so long.

One hand remained on the necklace. The other hand pressed into his stomach. David took the opportunity to slip to the vending machine, returning with a ginger ale. He opened it and offered it to Shane, keeping his eyes on the door. "Thank you," Shane whispered after a minute, taking the can from him and drinking a little. The tension in his face eased slightly.

"Of course."

After another long hour, Shane passed the empty can back to him. Good. It seemed to help a little.

Shane slumped down in his chair slightly. Exhaustion fought to take him down, but he refused. David leaned on the armrest closest to him and waited. After a minute, Shane's head rested on his shoulder and his eyes closed. With a gasp, Shane sat up and looked at the door with a panicked expression.

"You're alright," David murmured. "I'll keep watch."

Shane nodded, putting out his hand. David didn't hesitate to take his son's hand. Shane resettled against his shoulder.

Long moments passed and David thought he'd finally fallen asleep, when he heard Shane's soft voice.

"Dad... do you think he's gonna make it?"

David's thoughts went back to seeing Ilya lying in the ravine, impaled in the side and with blood coloring his lips. He looked so young and small. Ilya's eyes locked on Shane's, conveying how much he trusted and needed him. Their love evident in the near darkness.

"Yes. Ilya's a fighter. He has the most important thing to fight for."

"What's that?" 

"True love."

Shane glanced at him, giving the first smile in hours, and the light reached his eyes for a moment before fading into sadness once again. He had to recognize the reference to The Princess Bride. They'd watch it together every time Shane stayed home sick from school.

"You'll stay with me, no matter what?" Shane said, tears falling again.

David kissed Shane's forehead. "As you wish."

Shane drifted to sleep with his head still on David's shoulder. Across the room, Yuna watched with a hand pressed to her mouth and wiping tears from her eyes before they fell. She mouthed 'thank you' to him.

🏒

Ilya survived surgery. In critical condition and sedated, but he was alive. Shane could've broken on the spot, but no. He had to see Ilya with his own eyes. The doctor said it would be a little while longer before he could see him. Shane excused himself to the bathroom. 

After using the facilities, Shane walked to the sinks and paled at his own reflection. Ilya's blood on his face and hands. No one had told him to wash or that it was there. No. Jamming his hand under the soap dispenser, Shane's hands shook as he scrubbed, pink bubbles forming on his hands and washing down the drain. No. The image of Ilya coughing and blood splattering the oxygen mask. Shane barely made it to the toilet as he threw up. He waited until his stomach settled. "Fuck." 

He's alive. He's okay. He's alive. Shane repeated the words over and over again as he washed the rest of the blood from his hands and face. Splashing cold water on his face, Shane focused on breathing in and out. It had to be okay. Shane emerged from the bathroom as a nurse entered, asking for him. He spotted his dad across the room. David walked over to his side and put a hand on Shane's shoulder. He gave a gentle squeeze. Okay. He wasn't gonna be alone. Time to see Ilya.

Part 7

A heaviness hung over him, with a hum in his ears and the distant sounding of beeping. Ilya's eyes felt like sand poured over them. He tried to open his eyes, but it felt like too much effort. His mind drifted and after what felt like a long time, Ilya forced his eyes open. Bright. Too bright. Sunlight poured in large windows. His eyes focused on the bed and the scratchy blanket. Something pinched his nose. What was that hiss?

He clumsily reached up and felt a plastic tubing beneath his nose. Cool air brushed his fingertips. Hospital. He had to be in a hospital. The memories of the accident were fragmented. Walking until he couldn't. Thinking of his mama. Falling and waking up in the ravine, with snow and blood around him. Ilya's hand went to his side, finding tubes and a padded bandage. He knew better than to touch it. At least it didn't hurt.

He drew in a sharp breath. Where was Shane? He looked to the large armchair beside the bed, seeing his husband sleeping in an awkward position, leaning to the side with one hand motionless on the bed near Ilya's. Ilya smiled, but it fell. He shouldn't be here. Ilya walked away - put his own life in danger and didn't deserve to be saved. He attempted to turn his body slightly, but couldn't shift.

The soft sounds woke Shane.

"Ilya." He bolted up, wincing at the change in position. "You're okay."

"No...," he whispered, hearing the croak in his voice and feeling the soreness in his throat. Ilya swallowed and tried again. "Am not okay."

"Are you in pain? Do you want me to get the nurse?" Shane rushed to say. Ilya shook his head, but Shane didn't see it. He grabbed the remote and pressed the call button for the nurse.

A part of him wanted to yell for Shane to stop and to cry out that he wasn't okay, but he was too tired. His eyes closed as they waited for the nurse to enter. 

She was a sweet woman with dark curly hair and a French accent named Elise. Elise checked his IV and his drain to make sure everything was functioning properly. The blood pressure cuff on his arm went off, checking his levels. She stuck a thermometer in his mouth, pleased his temperature was normal.

Ilya lay quiet.

Yuna and David entered as she was finishing her checks. Yuna immediately came to his side and kissed his forehead. "So glad you're okay."

"We were worried," David added.

They were wrong. He wasn't okay. Ilya fought the tears running down his cheeks, but lost. Shane grabbed his hand, holding tight. Ilya wanted to pull away, but he also desperately needed Shane's touch.

"I'm right here, Ilya. I'm not leaving you."

Ilya bit his lip, but nodded. Had he been trying to leave Shane? The guilt threatened to steal his breath. Yuna sat on his other side, rubbing his arm. His second mama. He'd almost done unforgivable damage to her son. But had he wanted to?

Mama, why? Ilya squeezed his eyes tight, not wanting into their faces. He didn't want to see how much they loved him and were worried about him. No. It was better to feel nothing. To not be hurt again. Sleep pulled him down again, taking him to a place where he didn't feel. It was the best and worst sleep of his life.

Part 8

Shane watched Ilya as the doctor checked his wound, carefully covering it with a satisfied expression. He watched as they did the standard concussion checks. No concussion. Ilya's answers were soft, almost too soft to be heard.

"Okay, I have one more set of questions for you and I'll let you rest again," the doctor said. She carefully observed him as she spoke. "In the past few weeks, have you been thinking of hurting yourself?"

Ilya shook his head.

"I need you to answer out loud please."

He cleared his throat. "No. I have not."

She continued. "Have you been keeping to yourself more than usual?"

Ilya nodded. "Yes."

"In the past few weeks, have you felt so sad or depressed that makes it hard to do the things that you want to do?"

Ilya looked away. "Yes."

"Did you intend to hurt yourself when you went for your walk?"

"No." A firm answer, but he still looked away. "Can we stop? I have headache."

"Of course, Mr. Rozanov. Get some rest and I'll check back later."

She smiled at Shane as she left the room. His parents had gone home to sleep and shower, promising to come back and let him do the same. Shane had no plans on leaving Ilya now. He moved back to Ilya's side, taking his hand.

"Hey, you okay?"

Ilya nodded, forcing a smile on his face. "I'm fine."

"You're not," Shane whispered. "That's okay."

Ilya pulled the blanket up on his shoulder. "I don't - head hurts. I want sleep."

"Okay." 

Nothing was right about this.

Shane settled in the chair, sending a text to the team group chat, letting them know how Ilya was doing, physically at least. Ilya didn't sleep long. He dozed lightly, flinching awake several times as he tried to move. His ankle wasn't broken, just badly sprained. The wound in his side nicked his kidney, but didn't do severe damage to any other organs. Ilya was incredibly lucky.

"Shane. Can I have water?" Ilya asked.

"Yeah. Let me get some ice water."

Shane grabbed his cup with the accordion straw and stepped into the hallway. He found the family station. It only took a minute to fill Ilya's cup with ice and water. Shane headed back to the room. He almost dropped the cup at the sight in front of him. Ilya cried as he tried to sit up in the bed, hissing in pain.

"Hey, I'm right here. What's wrong?"

Ilya drew in a harsh sounding breath. "I want to go home."

"I'm sorry. We can't. Not for a few days."

"Please."

"I'm sorry, Ilya."

"Please?"

Ilya ran his hands over his face as he continued to cry. "I just wanted to talk to Mama. It was an accident -"

Shane immediately realized what he was trying so desperately to say. "Ilya, I know you weren't trying to take your life. I know."

"I couldn't leave you." He let his fall back and he stared at the ceiling. "I needed more time with Mama. More birthdays. More kisses. More her."

No words would fix that. Shane held Ilya's hand, squeezing tight as he cried, wishing he could hold him.

🏒

Yuna held her son's face between her hands, gently forcing him to look at her. "You need sleep. In a bed. To shower and be home. It's only for a few hours. Your dad and I will stay with Ilya."

"He's not talking to me. He did a little, but he's not said anything to me in hours." Shane wiped his eyes. "I can't fix this."

"You won't be able to do anything unless you take care of yourself. Go home for a few hours. Sleep. Eat. Read a little from your book. You can't give from an empty bucket." 

Shane nodded. He stepped back into Ilya's hospital room. The television was on and a hockey game replayed on screen. David smiled at his son as he approached the bed.

"I'm gonna go home for a few hours and sleep. I'll be back soon." Ilya blinked slowly, but didn't answer.

"Ya tebya lyublyu," Shane whispered before kissing Ilya's forehead. He didn't wait for a response, fearing what he'd feel if Ilya didn't say it back. He said good-night to his parents and left.

Yuna set her tote bag on the chair next to Ilya. She pulled out a handmade quilt and spread it across Ilya's legs. That got him to look at her. "It belonged to my grandmother. She gave it to me when Shane was born and I was in the hospital. I thought it might keep you warm."

"Thank you." Ilya shivered, snuggling into the soft, worn quilt. A small smile graced his lips as he listened to David's commentary on the hockey game. Yuna watched, adding in her thoughts when they were needed.

Shane texted her that he made it home safely and was headed to bed. She texted she loved him and hoped he slept well, promising to call if anything changed.

Ilya drifted to sleep after his vitals check and pain medication being given. He seemed at ease.

David went to the cafeteria downstairs around midnight to get a snack and to take a little break from trying to read in the dim light in the corner. He promised to bring her back a treat. Yuna continued her cross-word puzzle on her iPad.

A loud gasp broke her attention. Ilya tried to push to sitting, crying out in pain as tears ran down his cheeks. His chest heaved. Small beads of sweat formed on his forehead.

Yuna moved closer, taking his hand. "I'm here, sweetheart."

Ilya nodded, fighting to calm down. "Nightmare."

"I'm sorry." Yuna rubbed her thumb on the back of his hand. She waited until his breathing evened out, grateful that a nurse hadn't stepped in. "Did Shane ever mention that my mom died when I was 18?"

Ilya looked at her. "No. I'm sorry."

"Thank you. It was a car accident. She was on her way to pick me up from practice. I blamed myself for a long time. But it wasn't my fault. I still miss her. She never got to meet David, to help me into my wedding dress, to meet my baby, or to watch Shane grow up. I'll never stop missing her."

Ilya sniffed as he shivered again. "How do you stay?"

"I let others take care of me when I'm sad. David is my rock. Always ready to listen."

Ilya shook his head.

Yuna squeezed his warm hand again. "Shane is here for you. David and I are too. You're our son. You're blessed with two moms now. I'm here to give you all the love I can - to be here since she can't."

Ilya shivered again, despite the sweat on his face and the pink flush to his cheeks. "Thank you."

"Of course. I love you too."

They returned to comfortable silence. David returned and smiled at Ilya, patting his arm before sitting down with his book. Yuna kept a close eye on Ilya.

Sleep didn't return. The flush on his cheeks started to spread. It started to worry her. She was about to press the call button for the nurse.

"I don't... feel well."

Yuna stood up and placed the back of her hand on his forehead. She immediately frowned, jabbing the call button with her other hand. Ilya had a fever. 

Part 9

Shane stepped into their house, feeling the silence immediately. His gym bag sat haphazardly on the living room floor. Dishes were on the counter and sink, when normally he hated leaving them. They must've been Ilya's. How had it been two days? How had everything changed to so vibrant and painful in such a short time? He quickly loaded the dishwasher and ran it before picking up the few things out in the living room. Better.

Shane headed upstairs and straight to the bathroom to shower the hospital scent off. He stripped, waiting for the water to warm. Once the steam started to cloud the mirror, Shane stepped inside and started to wash. Hair first. Soap ran down his face and chest. He started to rinse his hair. His hand brushed the gold chain still around his neck. Ilya's necklace. Fuck. He'd forgotten he was still wearing it. Faint red ran from the dirty chain. More of Ilya's blood.

That was all it took to break.

Shane bit into his hand, trying to contain his sobs as the water ran down into his eyes. "Fuck, Ilya." He slid down until he sat on the floor of the shower. Breaking into a million pieces. He almost lost Ilya. The love of his life. His world. Each cry exploding out of his chest, made his ribs ache, and it felt like all of the air had been yanked from the shower.

Slowly. Slowly, Shane started to calm down. Feeling utterly spent. He carefully washed the necklace.

To protect Ilya's mama.

Shane finished washing and turned off the water. He stood for a long time, letting the water drip off of him until he shivered. His leg muscles ached as he got out. Shane dressed in comfy sweats and a t-shirt before heading into the living room with his glasses, phone, and book. One message from his mom. Ilya was in good spirits, watching hockey with his dad. Good.

Shane put on his glasses and curled up in Ilya's favorite spot on the couch. The couch blanket smelled like Ilya.

Shane snuggled under the blanket, breathing in Ilya's scent. Comforting and relaxing him. He tried to read a few pages, but the words blurred. Shane closed his eyes, falling asleep, as his phone slipped between the couch cushions.

🏒

Shane woke with a gasp. He weirdly felt somewhat rested. But something wasn't right. Faint light came in under the blinds. Morning. Shit. He didn't mean to sleep that long. Shane reached for his phone on the end table. It wasn't there.

"Fuck."

One minute of frantically searching and he found it wedged between the cushions. Three missed calls and ten unread text messages from his mom. Oh shit. Shane opened the messages, seeing the first one from four hours ago. Ilya had a fever and the doctor suspected his wound was infected. He didn't need to read the rest of them. Shane jumped up and snatched his coat and keys.

He had to get to Ilya right away. He couldn't let Ilya think he didn't want to be there.

Shane didn't bother with music as he drove back to the hospital. No new snow had fallen in the night. The sunrise lit up what had stuck before, flashing into his eyes as he drove. His thumb drummed on the wheel as he waited at a stoplight. Almost there. How could he have slept through her calls? Ilya needed him and he wasn't there. Shane let out an aggressive puff of air as he parked. He grabbed his things and ran into the hospital. 

Slightly winded from being so emotional, Shane paused for half a second outside of Ilya's hospital room. He reached for the handle, right as the door opened and his mom came out with a cup in her hand.

"Shane," Yuna said, seeing the panicked look on his chest. "He's alright. Hey, look at me." She put her hands on his shoulder before switching and pulling him into a hug.

"What happened?" Shane asked, his voice slightly muffled.

"He has an infection in his wound."

"Okay."

Shane released his mom so he could see her face. He nodded, wiping his face.

"They took a blood sample and are doing a culture. But for now, they have him on different antibiotics and fluids. Fever is being managed with medication. He's been asleep."

"I should - I should have been here."

Yuna cupped his cheek. "No. Ilya is okay and you needed to take care of yourself too. He's never been alone. We've got him. You get to breathe too."

"I need to see him, Mom," Shane whispered. 

"Okay." She patted his cheek and they walked back into the room together. David smiled at the sight of them and came over to hug his son. "Hey kiddo. He's okay. He's sleeping right now."

Shane nodded, but he had to touch him - to feel his heart beating. He studied his love. Ilya's face was paler, but no longer dirty. He suspected that his mom had washed it with a cool cloth to help him feel better. A small bruise was forming on his cheek near his mole. Shane tenderly brushed it.

Other than the slight pink flush to his cheeks, indicating the fever, Ilya slept peacefully. Shane kissed his forehead, holding his lips barely above his skin as he whispered that he loved him. The clenching pain in his stomach eased. Ilya wasn't dying. Not doing super well, but his parents made sure he was okay. Shane plopped into the chair and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Did you eat?" David asked after a while.

Shane's stomach took the opportunity to complain. "No. I forgot."

David slapped his knees and stood up. "The cafeteria just opened. I can bring you something to eat."

Shane took another look at Ilya's chest rising and falling. "Actually, can I come with you?" He moved to stand by his dad.

"Of course."

"I'll text you if he wakes up," Yuna said with a smile.

"Okay. We'll be back in little bit."

Part 10

"We'll be back later," Yuna said, kissing Ilya's cheek, grateful that it didn't feel overly warm.

Shane stood across the room with his arms crossed. He'd spent most of the day talking to his dad while Ilya slept, his body fighting the infection. A warm anger had settled in his body and he didn't want to push it away. He embraced it in a calm silence. He knew he shouldn't be angry. Ilya was in pain and he withdrew. 

But he was. Irrational or rational anger, it hovered beneath the surface. Shane didn't know what to say next.

His parents promised to bring back dinner, leaving the two of them alone. An old movie with kids and a one-eyed pirate's treasure played on the television screen. Ilya watched it with a small smile occasionally appearing on his lips. Shane stayed across the room. After a long while, Shane opened his mouth to speak but a knock on the door stopped him. A nurse stepped inside.

"I just need to get some vitals and check your drain," she apologized.

"Okay," Ilya whispered. The nurse grabbed some supplies and shifted around Ilya's blankets. Shane stepped a little closer as Ilya loosely grabbed the bed rail. He was afraid.

Forgetting his anger, Shane stepped forward and took Ilya's hand in his. Ilya sighed, closing his eyes in relief. The nurse checked his blood pressure. A little low, but in the low range of normal. No fever currently. Next was the wound. 

Ilya winced slightly as she pulled back the bandage. The edges of the wound were sealed with clear medical grade glue. The stitches themselves were internal. Shane refused to look at the hole for the small drain tube. His eyes went to Ilya's hip and he frowned. Skin stretched tighter across his hip, showing more of the bone. His waist was narrow, but this was less muscle. He'd lost weight. They hadn't been intimate in a while due to stress and schedules. Shane hadn't noticed. Fuck.

Shane looked away. He should've been paying more attention to Ilya.

"It looks good," the nurse said, covering the wound and pulling up the blanket.

"Good news is that Doctor Kirk has given you the approval to start food. Just broth and clear liquids, but it's progress."

"Thank you," Ilya whispered.

"I will bring you some broth and maybe I can convince the doctor to let you have some jell-o in a little bit if that stays down."

"Thank you." Shane squeezed Ilya's hand.

The nurse left them alone again. Shane glanced at the movie as the kids gathered around a piano made of a skeleton. Ilya didn't look at him. A single tear ran down his cheek.

"I'm sorry," Shane said, letting the anger melt away. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me."

"No, is my fault. I didn't tell you."

"And I should have seen that you weren't okay." Shane brushed away the tear. He didn't want to ask, but he knew he had to. "Why aren't you eating?" 

Ilya shrugged. "Didn't matter. Forgot sometimes. Other times, I wasn't hungry."

"How long?"

There was a long pause. "Few weeks. Maybe month or two."

"Ilya..."

He turned away, refocusing his eyes on the movie. Ilya self-consciously pulled up the blanket. Shane reached up and unclasped Ilya's necklace from where it hung. He took Ilya's hand and placed the necklace on his open palm, letting the warm metal lay there for a moment.

"We need to fix this."

More tears. They were both crying now.

"Ok." 

Part 11

Ilya gently folded his fingers across his mama's necklace and pulled it to his chest. It faintly smelled of Shane's bodywash. "How?"

"By talking to me when you're sad or missing your mom or just feeling... not like yourself."

But it was hard... too hard. Ilya looked away, blinking back tears. Too hard to speak the words that weighed him down. He desperately wanted to promise, but he didn't know how.

Ilya shook his head.

"I don't know how."

Shane grabbed his hands, squeezing tight as a tear ran down his cheek. "Okay. Let's try something else. When you're feeling sad or just don't know, you can show me." He opened Ilya's hand and picked up the necklace. Shane clasped it back around Ilya's neck where it belonged. "You could use your mama's necklace. Either touch it when I ask how you're doing or if it's really hard, you could..."

"I could put it on you. To show you... that I need you," Ilya choked out.

"Okay, I can do that."

Shane leaned in and kissed him gently, letting Ilya take the lead. Ilya felt Shane's tears running down his cheeks, mixing together. In sorrow and in love. His idea could work. Ilya leaned back, feeling the pull of his stitches and put a hand on his side. Shane immediately put his hand gently on top.

"Do you need me to get the nurse? Are you in pain?" he asked, brushing Ilya's curls with his free hand.

"I'm okay. Just a little sore." He took a breath. "Just need you."

Shane smiled for the first time all day and it warmed Ilya's heart. He needed that smile. Those freckles on his love's face, raising slightly toward his bright eyes.

"Can you lay with me?" Ilya asked softly.

It wasn't exactly easy to manage all the tubes and lines, but Shane carefully crawled onto the narrow hospital bed and wrapped his arms around Ilya. Ilya nuzzled into Shane's chest, breathing him in and feeling truly safe for the first time since Shane had found him in the forest. Content.

"Can you tell me more about your mom?" Shane asked after a little while.

Ilya grinned. "She loved snow. First big snow of every year, we would build snowman together. It wore her scarf and my hat. Never had carrot nose. Licorice nose."

Shane laughed. "Sounds like something you'd make."

"We saved carrots for carrot cake. Made it together from scratch. I got to lick frosting spoon. Maybe we could make it when we get home?"

"I'd love that."

"Good. Thank you."

Ilya rested his head against Shane's chest and closed his eyes. He felt such peace in his love's arms. Mama would have loved him. She would have spoiled Shane with love and all the sweets that he would have to eat out of Canadian politeness. A soft cool feeling settled around him and he knew she would have loved how happy Ilya was with Shane and how much he was loved.

When Yuna and David returned later, they found the two wrapped around each other, asleep in the bed. Yuna covered them.

She kissed both of their foreheads and let them sleep.

 🏒

Two Weeks Later

Ilya rested on the couch in loose sweatpants and one of Shane's t-shirts. He smiled at the cartoon playing on the tv.

"Are you ready?" Shane called.

Ilya sat up with a small wince. The road to recovery wasn't short and he'd only been home from the hospital for four days. Four days of snuggling Shane and resting. Not all bad. Every day, Yuna visited to sit with him and was teaching him to knit a scarf.

Shane slowly walked into the living room with the carrot cake held on a plate. Two lit candles were placed on top. Ilya turned off the tv as Shane set down the cake on the coffee table. He smiled at the birthday candles. It was perfect. Mama only ever had two candles, never more or less. She said she liked it that way.

"Happy late Birthday Mama," Ilya whispered. In one little breath, he blew out the candles. The smoke curled upwards. It was perfect. Almost. "Frosting is lumpy."

"What?"

"Frosting isn't smooth on top."

Shane laughed. "Fuck you. It looks good."

"Meh. Could be better."

"Well you helped make it, so it probably doesn't taste good."

Ilya frowned. "Am great cook." He swiped his pinky across one edge of the cake and popped it in his mouth, savoring the taste. "Yum," he hummed.

Shane grabbed a plate and cut Ilya a big piece. He handed him the plate and a fork.

"You are trying to make me fat," Ilya teased, looking at the piece.

"Not a chance." Shane laughed.

"Need more of me to grab? What do they call - love handles?"

Shane gently bumped his arm. "You don't have love handles. Just helping you put that weight back on. Eat your cake." His cheeks turned a little pink as he grabbed the remote. Shane turned on the movie for the night. A Princess Bride.

Ilya tossed his blanket over Shane's legs, scooting closer to him. "Thank you for cake."

Shane stuck his pinky in the frosting and put a dab on Ilya's nose. "As you wish."

"What do you mean wish?"

Shane rolled his eyes. "Shut up and watch the movie. Then you'll know what I mean."

Ilya wiped the frosting off and licked it off his hand. "Already know all I need to know. You love me. As you should."

Ilya knew he deserved the carrot cake that was smashed into his face a moment later. It was worth it.

(THE END) ❤️