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Three years.
Today marked three years since the end of the fourth great ninja war. Three years since he’d seen his father for the last time. Three years since Neji had died. Three years since he and Sasuke had fought and lost their arms. Three years since Sasuke had come back.
Technically, two years, since Sasuke had travelled on his own for a year six months after the war and had come back.
(Naruto still remembers to this day that particular afternoon, Sasuke hadn’t told anyone that he would be coming back, not even Naruto. In fact, they hadn’t spoken much throughout that period.)
He had been training in the field that was the furthest from the village, the skin on his knuckles split and his own blood staining his pants, the bright cerulean sky had been a sharp contrast to his turmoil. Despite not having been told, he had known, approximately a half hour beforehand, that Sasuke had come back.
He’d felt a sudden surge of chakra from within, as if his existence was being completed, so powerful that it had electrified his entire body, warmed up and froze his veins at the same time. He’d known instantly, almost on instinct, that Sasuke was near.
Although, by ninja standards, Sasuke hadn’t been near enough the moment he’d detected him. No other ninja could have known, not even Kakashi, at least not in that particular juncture.
Of course, Naruto could have blamed this on Sasuke being undoubtedly one of the strongest shinobi the world had seen, with a power so fierce and deadly that it radiated miles from wherever he stood, but he knew that this feeling… this link had roots that ran much deeper than that, a few millennia back, even. Roots that had the omnipotence of burying him six feet deep or rising him to the clouds.
Soul mates, some called it. Some even went as far as calling it “one’s promised” but were they? Naruto had learned a long time ago that death was the only promise that life.. cunning and deceitful as it was, would ever truly keep.
The entire concept still left him overwhelmed whenever he thought too much about it. His soul was bound to Sasuke’s. Despite that they were definitely not Ashura and Indra or Hashirama and Madara, they were still each other’s past, present and future. Their souls would meet in a continuous cycle even after their bodies had long decayed. It was terrifying and reassuring all at once.
Soothing in the sense that now he knew that this bond that suffocated him and simultaneously breathed air into his lungs had a name and a reason, that it wasn’t all in his head; that Sasuke felt it too. Horrid in the sense that he didn’t know if his next life, if it ever came, he would be as lucky as he had been in this one. He didn’t know wether or not they would meet the same fate.
He had realized he had been standing staring at the ground a few minutes after feeling Sasuke’s chakra, reflecting on sentiments he had skillfully avoided for the past year and a half, so he had quickly turned around and he had ran towards the entrance of the village. Training be damned.
(He remembers now amusedly, that his knees had never felt weaker, they’d never shook with such intensity).
The guards at the gate had given him odd looks, obviously confused at his jumpy behavior and sudden appearance, but the looks had switched to knowing as soon as Sasuke had appeared, about twenty minutes later.
(Naruto still remembers, the look on Sasuke’s face when he’d seen him waiting by the gate, the look of surprise that had turned to what he now recognizes as fondness, although he didn’t know that back then. Naruto loves and admires the strength and courage behind those eyes that had seen hell with a ferocious hopelessness).
Sasuke had smiled, ever so slightly, most of it hidden behind his dark bangs. Naruto’s breath had caught up in his throat. He had practiced countless of times what he’d say in this moment, he’d pictured all the scenarios possible, but in that instant, his only response to Sasuke’s silent question had been.
“I felt you.”
Sasuke’s breath had hitched, then he’d ignored him for a couple of days, Naruto had regretted ever saying it.
Things were different now, one and a half year later after Sasuke had come back from his journey. They were settled in, living together in an apartment big enough for two, although they rarely used the other room. Sasuke had been sleeping in his bed ever since Naruto had woken up screaming in the middle of the night, two weeks after Sasuke had moved in with him, he’d been caught up in a nightmare where Sasuke hadn’t survived, where his rasengan had gone right through Sasuke’s chest. That night, Sasuke had woken him up with comforting and slightly awkward words, then Naruto had asked him to say, voice hoarse and thick with tears.
And to Naruto’s surprise, he had.
Naruto had learned a couple of weeks later that Sasuke had nightmares as well, although he definitely didn’t scream the way Naruto did, but sometimes Naruto would wake up to tears sliding down Sasuke’s closed eyes, mouth making low, pained sounds. The first time, he hadn’t known what to do, so he’d acted on impulse and he’d caressed Sasuke’s face, kissing his eyelids tenderly. Sasuke had woken up to Naruto’s lips on his eyes and after calming down, he’d stared at him for a very long time with a troubled expression, searching for an answer that Naruto hadn’t been ready to give back then, so he’d simply stared back till they both fell asleep. Neither had mentioned it the next morning.
Now, a year and a half later, they talk freely about their feelings, when they are up late at night staring at the stars from their building’s roof. They talk about death and blood, so much blood. They talk about despair and trauma and soothe each other in ways that best friends aren’t supposed to, as far as Naruto knows. But he doesn’t mention that either. Because he enjoys the feeling of Sasuke’s arms surrounding him when terror clouds his mind (and even when it doesn’t) he enjoys pressing close and inhaling Sasuke’s scent. He’s scared it’ll stop if he asks, so he doesn’t. The small, tender touches mean the world to him.
Naruto had learned most things there were to learn about Sasuke by now. He’d learned how he enjoyed his coffee black, how he had a small dimple in his left cheek that only appeared when he smiled widely, how Sasuke enjoyed less salt in his food, how he was grumpy during the mornings, how he cuddled in his sleep and blatantly denied, how his nose twitched when Naruto did something embarrassing and he was trying not to laugh.
Other things had changed as well, they were always together now, training, cooking, eating. They had been crafting a plan with the help of Gaara to bring justice, to change the system that had destroyed their lives. Naruto wasn’t thinking of when ‘he’ became Hokage anymore, it was always when ’they’ became Hokage.
They were going to change the world together. No shinobi would ever have to sacrifice everything for the village. No child would ever fight in a war. No orphan would ever live in poverty and subhuman conditions again.
Naruto’s throat closed up in excitement and nostalgia at the thought, they’d suffered too much to get here, too much blood had been shed, but right now, three years after the war, one and a half year since he and Sasuke had started living together, Sasuke was laying next to him on their roof top, staring at the eerie darkness of the sky, brightened by the milky speckles that twirled and shone in patterns, although to Naruto, the true light came from the silver halo that always seemed to surround Sasuke. It was the only thing he could focus on.
Sasuke’s body was relaxed, his side pressed to Naruto, he had a small smile on his face. His hair was covering the eye with the rinnegan, as it usually did. Naruto’s hand itched to tuck his bangs behind his ear, so he could look at his face properly. His lips trembled as he reached out and did what he wanted to, because he could, because Sasuke trusted him, because he had the permission to do it. Sasuke looked at him then, that very same look of carefully hidden fondness dancing in his eyes and Naruto’s chest felt tight, that feeling of longing came back, he had the world already, how could he possibly want more?
But he did.
He wanted more, he wanted to bury his fingers in Sasuke’s soft hair and kiss him, he wanted to grow old with Sasuke, he wanted to memorize every dip and arch in his strong, lean body. He wanted to taste the milky, scarred skin. He wanted to give himself completely to this man, show him his every weakness, because even though Sasuke had the power to destroy everything, Naruto knew he would never, ever do that.
Sasuke was still staring at him when he came back to himself.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Sasuke asked, his voice soft.
Naruto’s mouth opened and closed, how could he suggest such a thing? How could he tell Sasuke what he wanted without risking losing what he had? He’d rehearsed it in his mind many times in the past as he counted Sasuke’s eyelashes while they laid in bed but he couldn’t sleep, but as he stared at those midnight black eyes that trapped him, he could only say one thing.
“You’re in my veins and I can’t get you out.”
Sasuke’s breathing halted and his eyes stiffened, Naruto was starting to regret it all over again, because he had not meant to say it like that, of course he had ruined what might have been his only chance. Just as he was about to start apologizing profusely, Sasuke tilted his head closer, to the point where puffs of air hit Naruto’s skin whenever he exhaled, making it tingle. Naruto could only stare desperately.
“Then don’t.” Sasuke whispered after a while, it felt like a permission to explore a whole new world he didn’t know yet but craved terribly, he cranked his neck closer, until he could see the faint freckles on Sasuke’s nose, until their lips touched.
Naruto didn’t know before that moment that it was possible to feel colors, but at the moment he was certain he could. He shut his eyes and pressed harder, he realized Sasuke’s hand had tangled in his hair and he was kissing back, with as much tenderness and ferocity. He breathed out shakily and moved his lips with Sasuke’s, overwhelmed with his taste, his scent, his everything. He barely registered the sound that left his throat, desperate to feel more of this man, he linked a strong leg over Sasuke’s and rolled on top of him, grasping his face with his hand and drawing him, tangling their limbs together, Sasuke made a low sound in his throat as their hips aligned, he bit Naruto’s lower lip, caressing it afterwards with his tongue.
Their mouths melded into each other and they clung into each other for dear life as their tongues touched. All of a sudden, It was too much, Naruto felt as if his entire existence was being consumed, his skin burned and he had to pull away and press his forehead to Sasuke’s shoulder, he didn’t realize he was crying until Sasuke’s hand dried his tears tenderly, then grabbed his chin and pulled his face towards him. They pressed their foreheads together, making a silent promise to each other, the constellations above being their only witness and after a while, Naruto resumed his initial position next to Sasuke with a shaky breath.
As they stared at the night sky together, with their remaining hands now linked (a sharp contrast to three years ago, when their blood was linked instead and they didn’t know if they would die or live) Naruto remembered the concept of “one’s promised”. He still believed death was the only true promise humans could count on, but he silently thanked whichever stars of the universe had aligned in order to allow him to spend the rest of his life with his promised.
In that moment, he allowed himself to believe that what was written for them in the celestial bodies above was good. God knows he’d do it all over again if it meant he could meet the same destiny with Sasuke in their next life.
Sasuke’s eyes shifted from the sky and looked at him knowingly, then squeezed his hand a little tighter.
I feel you too.