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My head is full of poison (and my heart is full of doubt)

Summary:

When Hinata is injured during a sparring match with Neji, Hiashi misunderstands Neji’s role in the injury, and Neji suffers the consequences.

Notes:

title from The Cure by Olivia Rodrigo
Whumptober day 6: Misunderstanding leads to whump - "I deserve this."

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Neji and Hinata were training together, he was on the defensive while gently correcting Hinata as she tried to hit him. It was more fun than Neji had had training in some time, his younger cousin had improved much since the Chūnin exams. They talked as they sparred, occasional teasing words that had both of them smiling. 

 

Hinata’s face was one of determination as she came at him again. Neji redirected her hit, and she jumped back, dropping into a low crouch. Neji smirked, cocking his head at her, and as she leapt towards him again, her footing slipped, and she fell onto her wrist. He heard her hiss in pain, and was by her side in a second, kneeling next to her.

 

“Lady Hinata!” Neji exclaimed, looking at her watering eyes. Her wrist was pulled close to her chest, and he reached out, looking at her for permission. She nodded slightly, so he carefully grasped it, twisting it in his grasp. “It is most likely just a sprain. I will go fetch some ice, and we can stop training for the day.

 

Neji stood, brushing off his outfit. He offered a hand to Hinata, and as she reached up to grab it, there was a shout from the door. Neji turned, confused, as another branch family member rushed into the room. He grabbed Neji’s arm, dragging him away from Hinata, who started to speak, but before she could say anything, Neji was pulled out of the room.

 

Neji was not going to disobey an elder, but he was sincerely confused. “Lady Hinata needs medical attention,” He insisted to the man pulling him along, only to receive a barked- “Be quiet!”-in response.

 

Though, to Neji’s relief, the man expressed that information to the next person they passed, who seemed to jump into action. The walk continued, Neji being pulled harshly by the wrist as the man’s pace grew faster and faster. Then they came to a sudden stop, in front of his uncle’s office. Neji felt his heart drop, just for a moment, and his head gave an echo of the all too memorable explosive pain of the seal on his forehead.

 

The man knocked, and when they were granted entry, yanked Neji into the room to stand before the head of their clan. 

 

"Lord Hiashi!” The man spoke with haste, finally releasing Neji’s arm from his grip. Neji rubbed at the hand print in his arm, already bruising, red and irritated. “Neji injured Lady Hinata in training, and he would have done more had I not stopped him.”

 

Neji blinked, confused. Yes, Hinata had been injured, and as the one designated to supervise her training that was his responsibility, but he had not injured her, nor was he going to do more? He looked to their clan head, who was giving Neji a deeply conflicted look.

 

“Is it true that Hinata was injured, and that you are responsible?” Hiashi asked, and to that wording, Neji had no choice but to nod in agreement. Yes, Hinata was injured, and yes he was responsible for not correcting her footing before she slipped.

 

“Yes, Lord Hiashi.” Neji answered, his voice subdued and submissive. Hiashi sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. Neji bowed his head, feeling immense guilt and shame in the face of his reaction.

 

“You are dismissed,” Hiashi informed the man standing next to Neji. He bowed and left, though Neji swore he saw a triumphant smirk directed his way. Neji took a deep breath, steadying himself, as he looked back at his uncle. Neji would have explained himself, but he would never dare to speak out of turn. So he simply waited, assuming that Lord Hiashi already knew what had happened.. “I am disappointed in you, Neji. I will not be allowing you to train unsupervised with Hinata until I have regained trust in your control. Additionally, since I would have done this had I seen you harm her earlier, I will activate your seal. Then you shall be dismissed, and that will be the end of it.”

 

“Yes, Lord Hiashi.” Neji answered, his stomach full of knots. He didn’t want this. He had only made a small mistake, why did he deserve this? Neji bit the inside of his cheek. He was in no place to question the head of the clan. Neji deserved to be punished for letting Hinata get hurt- for hurting her, in a roundabout way, by not being a competent enough teacher during training. 

 

His head exploded in agony, and Neji dropped to his knees, screaming as his hands gripped the sides of his head. Neji let out a dry, broken sob- it was tormenting, and just as the edges of his vision began to darken, it was gone. Neji leaned forward, his head bowed low, desperately fighting down the nausea in his stomach. His whole body ached, the aftermath of the punishment wracking his frame.

 

“Dismissed, Neji.” Hiashi said flatly, and so Neji had no choice but to force himself up from the ground. He deserved this- the scorn, he had failed to protect the heir to their clan, after all. Neji wrapped an arm around his stomach, his steps wobbling and small as he left the room. As the door swung shut behind him, Neji allowed himself one moment to take a deep breath and steady himself. He would not show weakness to the others, even though every breath and step sent more throbbing pain through his head and eyes.  

 

When Neji arrived in his room in a daze, only to see Hinata waiting outside of his door. Her wrist was wrapped in a bandage, but no splint or cast, so evidently the injury wasn’t too severe. 

 

“Lady Hinata,” Neji greeted, forcing his mouth into a smile. He sounded a little strained, and he knew Hinata noticed based on the way her own lips twisted downwards. She looked him over, her frown deepening. 

 

“Neji, what’s wrong? You look unwell.” Neji shook his head, realizing his mistake quickly as the movement sent shockwaves of pain dancing across his scalp and down his back. He put a hand up, catching himself against the wall as he squeezed his eyes shut, breathing heavily.

 

“I am fine, Lady Hinata. Thank you for your concern. How is your wrist?” Neji asked, his voice breathy and weak. He grimaced. Now he couldn’t even stop her from worrying? How many more times was he going to fail today? 

 

“Neji what…”

 

“Please, Lady Hinata.” Neji cut her off, feeling guilty as he saw the flash of hurt across her face. “I need to rest. I hope you recover soon.” Hinata stared at him as he walked into his quarters, but Neji knew that any longer, and he was likely going to pass out. He only made a few steps inside, the door swinging shut behind him, before dropping to his knees, ears ringing.

 

He did not hear Hinata’s worried comments, and by the time she had entered his room, he was collapsed on the floor, eyes shut. 

 

When Neji woke up, he was first relieved to find that the pain had vanished. Then he was confused, as he looked around his surroundings. He was in the small medical room the compound had, and Hinata was sleeping on a bed next to him, her face relaxed. How had he ended up here? He looked towards the sun, it had lowered significantly since he was last awake. 

 

The door to the room quietly creaked open, and Neji sat up quickly. It was his uncle, and though Neji was tempted to shrink back into the bed, he kept a proper, stiff back. He would prefer to get out of bed to bow properly, but his head was still spinning, though now painless.

 

“Lord Hiashi.” Neji greeted, his voice soft as he cast a look to the sleeping Hinata. 

 

“Neji, how are you doing?” Hiashi asked, his voice equally as quiet as Neji's. 

 

“I am well, thank you.” Neji responded politely, confused about what was happening. How and why was he here? Why was the head of his clan here too?

 

“You collapsed in your quarters, Hinata was very distressed and carried you here herself. I have not seen her so angry, as she demanded to know what had happened to you in her absence.” Hiashi gave Neji a curious look, “She was infuriated with me, though she would never express such a thing. She was very upset on your behalf, Neji.”

 

Hiashi sighed, stepping further into the room. He loomed over Neji, who was still incredibly lost. 

 

“Hinata was kind enough to explain to me that you had not injured her, she had fallen and hurt herself. When I admitted to your punishment she… she was deeply unsettled.” Hiashi sighed, reaching out a hand towards Neji, who completely stilled. He would never flinch, but he had made Hinata act out of turn, which based on the new set of rules that had been established mere hours ago, meant punishment.

 

“This is to say, Neji, that I am sorry.” Hiashi told him, setting a hand on the top of Neji’s head. Neji blinked.

 

“Why? I deserved the punishment. Hinata was hurt because of me.” Neji replied, admittedly leaning up a little bit into the hand on his head. It was rare that Hiashi offered such a reward, so Neji would accept it, even though he did not feel deserving.

 

Hiashi sighed again, sitting on the edge of the bed Neji was in. “Hinata was hurt because of her own foolishness, that is not your fault, Neji. You did not hurt Hinata, she hurt herself. So I ask you, why did you not explain this earlier?”

 

“There was nothing to explain.” Neji replied, his mind running in circles. Hinata was injured because of his failure as a teacher, and thus it was his fault, and he was punished for it. 


“You did not injure Hinata.” Hiashi repeated, slightly more forcefully this time. “And so you did not deserve a punishment, Nej. Did you believe you deserved to be punished, or were you just following my orders?” 

 

“I deserved it, Lord Hiashi. Lady Hinata was injured under my watch.”

 

Hiashi sighed again, a sound Neji was rapidly becoming familiar with. “It was not your fault Neji, and so no punishment was necessary. Remember this, yes?”

 

Neji, though he still didn’t quite understand, nodded. The palm left the top of his head after ruffling his hair, which Neji scowled at, though he quickly smoothed the expression over. Not quickly enough, judging by the amused smirk on his uncle’s face.

“Get some rest, Neji. You and Hinata may resume training once you have both recovered.”

 

“Thank you, Lord Hiashi.” Neji said quietly, watching as his uncle left. He had much to think about.

 

Later, Hinata would wake up, and they would have a tearful conversation, wherein she would promise that never again would she let her father hurt him like that, and Neji pretended to believe her. 

Notes:

Hope you enjoy! I really liked writing this one :3
kudos and comments appreciated <333

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