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Darry was the sort of person that thought things through. Usually.
He could measure out successful gameplays in his sleep as a football captain.
His clothes everyday? picked and laid out since the night before.
He knew exactly the amount of money he needed to save up to be able to afford going away for college, living in the dorms- everything the scholarship didn’t cover.
But things had started to blur together in his mind after that damn phone call.
What kind of person thought it was okay to deliver such news over the phone?
Your parents are dead. Though luck, kid. Get home ASAP.
( Okay, maybe he was exaggerating the phone call he’d received from the Tulsa police department, but it was close enough)
The point was, when the choice came between leaving his dream to be the first Curtis boy to go to Collegue or to let his kid brothers rot in the foster system?
He didn’t even have to think about it. The choice was made.
Darry would never forget the look on his brother’s faces when he got home that twisted night.
They were sitting together on the couch.
Sodapop was bawling, struggling to get a breath in, holding their youngest brother close to his chest.
And Ponyboy with a haunted, faraway look in his eyes.
Gosh, Pony was only a kid.
Eight years old. He wasn’t even done losing his baby teeth. The top of his head barely reached Darry’s waist. Darry could still hold him up with only one arm, probably.
Just old enough to have truly known their parents unconditional love, to remember them. To grieve them.
It broke Darry to pieces. Their parents would never get to see him grow up. To hear his voice go deep and his height to grow, fall in love, graduate.
And Poor pony, he would never get to have the experiencies that Darry and Soda did. Their father teaching them how to shave. Their mother helping them through their first heartbreak.
But it didn’t matter, because Pony would have Darry. It would never be enough. He didn’t care that he was signing himself up to be a guardian for 10 years more. That college was a far away dream.
(Maybe Soda would finally win the Lottery one day and both Darry and Ponyboy could go to college. That seemed like the only possible way)
He knew it would be hard. His life seemed to run on an endless cycle: millions of bills and paperwork stacking up on the table. Court hearings, interviews with social workers. Get up, make breakfast, drive Pony to school, make sure Sure Soda gets to his own job on time( he still wasn’t too happy with him dropping out- but that was an issue for another day). Work, pick up Pony from school. Dinner. Repeat.( That is if he didn’t have another shift)
Between Pony’s recent nightmares ( awful, loud screams that would wake up the whole house and everyone inside it, that only Soda seemed to know how to wake Pony up from and offer some comfort)
his lack of normal eating habits and refusal to say more than one word at a time( Pony had always been a quiet, happy kid. Kind of lost in his own world, more interested in books about runaways and outlaws tha real life), Darry felt like something was about to explode in his face all the time. Like something bad was about to happen.
He just didn’t expect it so soon.
It had been only a month after their parents accident when Pony finally snapped.
It was a saturday morning, one of the rare ones where both Darry and Soda were off from work, and most of their little gang was not inside the Curtis household for a change.
Soda had been outside working on the truck, something about a quick oil change, and Darry was making breakfast when he heard a low wailing sound. Something terryfying, straight out of a horror film, like a lost soul.
Ponyboy. Darry thought right away. But he didn’t sound remotely similar to when he had a nightmare. and started running towards Soda’s room.
The kid was sitting on the edge of the bed, that same far away look on his red, angry little face.
“…¿Dar- Darry?” His voice was a squeak, a whisper.
His older brother was quick to sit beside him, careful, not touching him just yet. He wasn’t good at comforting. Maybe I oughta call Soda. Darry thought distantly.
“I’m here, baby. What’s going on?”
Pony just wailed some more in return. Darry toon that as a response and wrapped his brother in his arms, cradling him like he was a baby. Practically was.
He felt the front of his shirt getting damper, and little eight year old hands squeezing the fabric.
“It’s okay. Talk to me, okay? You have another nightmare?”
“Nah. I just… “ Pony took a shaky breath. “ I woke up and went to the bathroom and saw no one and I thought you all had left me like Mom and Dad and l was alone for good now and I just-“
Darry’s heart broke even more. How can something hurt more? why does my chest feel like it’s on actual physical pain every second now?
Something in his kid brother’s child mind was terrified he would be all alone.
Darry had to fix this.
“No, Pone. I- We would never leave you like that, Colt. Not in any universe, okay? you’re stuck with us”
He must have said something wrong, because Pony started crying even harder, wiggling himself out of Darry’s hold until he was looking directly into his eyes, with more intensity any eight year old should have.
“ Exactly! you got.. stuck with me! you ain’t going to collegue and I know Ma was so proud of you- she’d be upset you weren’t going”
Darry had to stop this. He cradled his youngest brother’s face with his hands, pulling his hair back.
“No, Ponyboy. You got it all wrong!” Darry fought to get a deep breath. He wasn’t good at getting his point through in times like these. “ I’m not stuck with you! there’s no place i’d rather be right now other than here, taking care of you and your brother. This is my place now, you understand me? I need you to understand me”
Ponyboy looked like he was trying way too hard to believe Darry, but he seemed to be settling down.
“-Kay”
“Kay? say you understand me”
“I understand, Darry”
“Good”
When he held his brother close again and started to tickle his sides until the kid was laughing so hard Darry started to feel concerned about his breathing, only then he started to feel calm again.
Right. Maybe I can do this. Maybe i’m capable of this.
When Pony leaned into his chest like it was the safest place in the world, Darry finally felt a sense of peace.Pony felt warm, a little too warm, but he blamed it on his little breakdown. He’d come to regret that later.
I hope this is what you would have wanted. I hope you’re proud of us. Please let me take care of them and protect them from harm
Darry sent a quiet prayer to wherever his parents were now.