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With his fork, Harry carefully prodded the slices of jellied fish to one edge of his plate, trying not to grimace. It was rare that he hated or refused to eat a certain type of food, thanks to his childhood with the Dursleys, but he made an exception for the jellied fish. He hated it, just as he hated the seasonal banquets hosted by the Earth Courts.
There usually wasn't jellied fish on the menu, aside from the previous banquet and now this one. Harry assumed it had to do with marking the beginning and end of the Merrow's season. He'd barely managed to eat it all last time and he felt the bile rising in his throat at the thought of having to eat it again.
Stupid Earth Courts for their penchant for formality and proper etiquette. Harry silently cursed at whoever came up with the idea that proper etiquette entailed eating everything on your plate.
Every. Single. Bite.
He wondered if he could get away with sliding it off his plate and dropping it on the floor, but quickly dismissed that idea as highly unlikely. It might have been possible if he'd been sitting next to his Beta, but he was currently wedged between his Alpha and Ulrike, the Joker sworn to his Alpha. If he tried, either his Alpha would notice or Ulrike would notice and report it back to his Alpha and either way, Harry would get a nice long lecture when they got home that night.
He mutinously eyed the slices of jellied fish, wondering what would be worse—dropping it on the ground or just refusing to eat it and arguing later that he suspected it was poisoned.
There were flecks of something in the jelly, that might work in his favor.
There was a small window of opportunity when his Beta spoke, murmuring his Alpha's name to get his attention and then drawing him into a conversation. A small privacy spell flickered between the two of them, so Harry couldn't hear what was being said, but he recognized that glint in his Alpha's gold-blue eyes.
Plotters, schemers. Harry was mildly surprised at how fond his thoughts were as he considered the pair.
It was too bad the jellied fish was on the side of the plate closer to Ulrike, not his Alpha. He might have risked it.
"Pass the chili oil?" Harry's green eyes flicked to the Joker at the request, because the bottle was well within the bigger man's reach, but he obliged anyways. Probably another stupid etiquette thing.
After he passed it on, he picked up his fork to prod suspiciously at the jellied fish again, only to frown in puzzlement at the plate. Where there had been three large slices before, there was now only a few neatly cut bite-sized portions.
Harry glanced at Ulrike's plate, where the Gheyo was smothering three slices of jellied fish in chili oil—too much to be considered proper.
Then again, Jokers could get away with a lot.
The corner of Harry's lips twitched as he caught on. He leaned closer to the other man, bringing up his own privacy ward with a twist of his fingers.
"You don't actually like that stuff, do you?" he asked as Ulrike took a bite. If so, he wouldn't seriously question the Joker's taste, but that was nothing new, he'd done so since the very beginning.
Purple eyes silently laughed as Ulrike chewed. "It's not great, but there's been worse at these things," he finally said. "They hire the better Culinary Circles for these banquets, but some of them like to be … inventive."
Harry made a questioning nose as he speared a bite of jellied fish onto his fork. “Worse?"
He held the fork up to Ulrike's face, watching baffled as the Gheyo ate the offered food without blinking or making a face.
"One year there was fermented liver."
Harry's nose wrinkled as he scooped up another cut portion of jellied fish.
"Pear salad."
"That one's not bad," he said as his fork was once again emptied.
"Not smothered in mayonnaise and bleu cheese and topped with tomatoes and olives."
Harry disguised his laugh by clearing his throat. "Point."
The final bite vanished amidst their quiet conversation.
"Tomalley."
"Never heard of it."
"Otherwise known as lobster pancreas."
"Starting to sound less like being inventive just because and more like a competition among the Culinary Circles," Harry decided. He wished Ulrike was joking but if there was one thing he knew, the Joker wasn't a liar.
“Maybe," Ulrike conceded. "Has he eaten it yet?"
"Yes," Harry grumbled after sneaking a look at his Alpha's plate.
"No, he hasn't. He charmed his fork. It probably went into one of the plants against the wall. And if he's difficult tonight, you should remind him of the bird's nest soup."
"Snitch," Harry said, but his voice held notes of affection. It was only then he recalled that while Ulrike usually reported things to his Alpha, one of their Beta or other Bonded frequently had information to use to rein the man in when needed. Now he knew how and he quickly decided he liked being on this side of things. "Tell me more."
And when it looked like Ulrike was wavering, undecided, he also determined he wasn't above simple bribery. "I'll make dessert tomorrow."
"For the rest of the week."
Harry chuckled. "Done."