Chapter Text
Maggie groaned as her phone started ringing on the edge of the table and she set down the bottle of beer with a loud thump. She had been home for barely an hour after an already long and grueling workday. And despite knowing one of the cases she was working on might have a break when some of the lab results came back, she wasn’t really looking forward to spending the rest of her evening over at the precinct.
Cursing, she yanked the phone towards her and was about to answer it when she noticed the caller id. Her heart stopped for a split second and then it started beating faster.
“Kara?” She questioned as soon as she hit the answer button. Because it had been weeks and she knew with a sense of dread stirring in the pit of her stomach, that Kara wouldn’t be calling at this time of the night if it wasn’t something urgent.
“Maggie? I’m sorry for calling you, but I don’t know who else to turn to.”
“Are you okay? Is…” Maggie hesitated, wanting to fire off more questions but at the same time afraid of what the answers would be. And Kara sounded weary, the hints of exhaustion seeping through in her voice. Nothing like the perky overexcited girl Maggie had come to know her as.
“I am, yeah.”
But it wasn’t the answer that made her dig her nails in the wooden coffee table. It was what Kara wasn’t saying.
“Alex?” She queried finally, her voice small, choked.
“She’s...she’s not, and I need to go..somewhere and I can’t..”
Her mind got stuck on what Kara had told her for a moment before she caught up with her still rambling on the phone.
“Kara it’s okay...stop,” she muttered, while already rushing to grab her keys and leather jacket. “Where are you?”
“My place.”
“I’ll be there in 15 minutes.”
It took her closer to 10 minutes and when she rounded the corner, Maggie was surprised to see Kara already waiting for her outside the apartment.
“Maggie, hey, thank you for coming,” Kara said in a soft tone.
“Of course,” Maggie replied while casting a quick glance past Kara, into the dimly lit living room behind her.
“She’s sleeping,” Kara explained and some of the tension left Maggie’s body at those words.
She followed after Kara into the apartment and noticed the room dividers set up to completely block out the area where the bed was situated. A wide assortment of empty take-out boxes covered most of the surface of the coffee table and while the tv was showing an old black and white movie it was muted to the lowest possible sound level. Low enough for Kara to still be able to follow what was happening in the movie, though Maggie figured Kara’s entire attention was likely focused on Alex sleeping across the apartment.
“What happened?” She finally asked after Kara softly closed the door behind them.
“Cadmus,” Kara explained as she used superspeed to change into her Supergirl costume.
Kara walked over the window and opened it, before turning to face her again. Her lips were drawn into a tight line and when Maggie took a few steps closer she noticed the shimmering of tears in her eyes. It was rapidly becoming clear to her that whatever happened was weighing down heavily on Kara, even though she was trying her hardest to hide it.
“We got captured and they…” Maggie could see Kara’s fists clenching to tight balls at her sides, the expression on her face one of dejection and helplessness. “It’s almost over though. We have one more proper raid tonight on one of their locations and I can’t let the DEO's teams go in there alone, not when we’re not a hundred percent sure what we’re up against. And they’re likely to be desperate, considering how we’ve put the pressure on them these past few days.”
Maggie nodded, trying to process the information Kara had just given her. “Are you sure you’re okay?” She finally asked after a few seconds had passed in silence. “You look..exhausted, no offense.”
“I am,” Kara admitted, her chin dipping to her chest with a soft, “you know I heal fast.”
Swallowing, Maggie flicked her eyes to the room dividers, unsure of what she would find if she went to that corner of the apartment. Deep down she knew Alex was fine, most likely drugged out of her mind to get some rest, because she remembered all too well how difficult of a patient Alex had been in the past. But she couldn’t help worry, couldn’t ignore the dull ache settling in her chest at the thought of Alex being injured again. And injured pretty badly from the sounds of it.
She also knew Kara was blaming herself. Her eyes basically radiated guilt. Guilt and an old kind of pain that Maggie had noticed surfacing every now and then. As if something bad had happened many years ago that Kara had never been able to let go of. But it was easy to recognise the signs of someone blaming themselves for what happened to another person, she had seen it too many times when she had gone and visit a victim’s loved ones and break the bad news to them.
“I’m sure you have questions,” Kara spoke up as she stole a glance at her phone before pocketing it. “But I really need to go.” Then she quirked her lips into a tired half smile that barely reached her eyes. “I do appreciate you coming here though I know it must be difficult for you…”
Maggie averted her gaze and closed her eyes briefly. “Yeah, it’s okay. I’m always here to help, no matter what Kara, you know that.”
“I know. But still..” Kara sighed and tucked some strands of hair behind her ears. “There wasn’t anyone else I could call and Eliza won’t be back for another couple of days. I just...I really didn’t want to leave her alone and risk she woke up with nobody being there for her.”
“It’s okay,” Maggie repeated with a soft smile.
She noticed Kara staring at the direction where Alex was sleeping, clearly struggling with having to leave her sister alone, even if it was only for a little while. At the start of her relationship with Alex it had sometimes made her feel a little left out and even jealous, but eventually she had come to admire their closeness. Their willingness to do everything in their power to protect the other. It had gotten Alex hurt a few times and while both her and Kara had lectured Alex on her penchant for putting her life at risk to save others, Maggie had found she could never stay mad for long. And while Alex had promised to at least become a little bit more careful, Maggie knew she would still stop at nothing to protect Kara. And the other way around was true as well.
It made her wonder what had hurt Alex this badly. What had happened to put this dull look in Kara’s eyes that she had never seen before. The thought that she was no longer kept in the loop for these sort of things was a bitter pill to swallow and Maggie sighed before stepping forward and placing a hand on Kara’s arm.
“I’ll keep a close eye on her okay? The moment I think something’s wrong I’ll call you, promise.”
Kara released a long breath and nodded, straightening as she stood in front of the open window. “It should only be a few hours at most, I’m not gonna stick around for the aftermath or the paperwork.”
She made a face at the last word and Maggie couldn’t help a soft chuckle. Debriefing and paperwork never had made Kara’s favorite list and she found it slightly adorable how Kara always latched onto the flimsiest of excuses to get out of the DEO again after a completed mission.
“Be safe, alright?”
The smile Kara gave her lighted up her eyes and when she stepped forward to envelop her into a tight hug, Maggie closed her eyes and cherished the moment. She had never been a overly tactile person before meeting the Danvers sisters, but she had gotten used to being hugged and Alex’s affectionate touches. It was something she hadn’t realized she would miss until that day Alex had stormed out of her apartment.
“I will, and thank you again.”
Maggie smiled again and then shook her head when Kara lifted off slightly from the ground and flew away with a burst of speed. Even after having seen Kara fly away dozens of times by now it still never ceased to amaze her.
She closed the window and turned towards the living room, eyes lingering on the empty boxes and paper plates littering the surface of the coffee table. It would give her something to do at least and she checked a few of the cupboards and drawers in the kitchen, eventually finding some trash bags. Even while cleaning up the coffee table and the kitchen counters, she found her gaze wandering continuously towards the room dividers.
She knew she was just postponing the inevitable. Despite knowing that Alex must have been still asleep, she still had a hard time gathering enough courage to walk over and check up on her. The last time she had seen her had been close to two weeks ago and they had barely spoken two words. It was a case that had been better off in Deo hands and other than acknowledging her presence and asking for some notes, Alex had scarcely given her the time of the day.
The memory caused a invisible band to tighten itself around her chest and Maggie sighed as she put a few dirty dishes and cups in the dishwasher. She had thought after their breakup that she would be able to move past it eventually. Like she had so often in the past. But there was something about Alex that had gotten under her skin, much more so than most of the other women she had been in a relationship with. And every time she saw her it just reminded her of the happier times they had shared. Even now, when she looked around Kara’s apartment and remembered movie nights with the three of them, or just having dinner here after Kara had invited them both over. Everything always reminded her of Alex and she had come to terms with the fact that she was still hopelessly in love with her.
Even if Alex no longer loved her back.
Grabbing a beer from the fridge, she wandered over the couch and sat down. She figured Kara wouldn’t mind if she stole one beer at least and she really needed something to take the edge off.
Rolling the muscles in her shoulders, she tried to get more comfortable on the couch. A glance at her watch told her it had been well over an hour since Kara left and she pursed her lips, hoping that no news would be good news in this case.
Idly she zapped past various channels, never settling on any of them for too long. It wasn’t as if anything would hold her attention at this point. She was over halfway through her beer when she heard some faint noises. As if someone was mumbling and Maggie froze, her heart shooting up into her throat.
Holding her breath she listened closely for a moment, though it remained quiet, the only sounds coming from the tv in front of her. She knew it had been Alex though and Maggie rubbed at her forehead, before standing up from the couch and walking towards the back of the apartment.
When she rounded the corner she noticed the wastebin first. It stood out from the rest of the dimly lit room, a blood soaked bandage slightly hanging across the edge of it. The nightstand next to it was dominated by a variety of pill bottles, medicine boxes and bandages and Maggie swallowed, walking closer to the bed. A sliver of light from the living room illuminated parts of Alex body as she laid on her side, legs slightly curled up to her chest and the blanket only covering her lower body.
An audible gasp escaped her when she first saw Alex’s face and she quickly slipped a hand across her mouth, tears welling up in her eyes as she took in the damage done to Alex’s body. Her face was swollen at one side and there was a large cut across her forehead, disappearing into her hairline. Various lacerations covered the visible parts of Alex’s back, most of them having been stitched or scabbed over. A large bandage covered one of her shoulders and Maggie felt nauseous when she noticed the sheer amount of bruising that covered her arms and chest area.
Tears spilled across her cheeks as she leaned against the wall and observed Alex. She so desperately wanted to reach out, even lie down next to Alex and whisper soothing words to her while trying to provide a measure of comfort. But she knew she couldn’t and it was killing her, the sharp pain centered around her heart reminding her of the words Alex had yelled at her during their breakup. She couldn’t be that kind of person anymore, Alex had made that abundantly clear.
She muffled a choked off sob and slowly made her way back towards the living room. There was nothing she could do and she raised her legs to her chest as she sat back down on the couch. Silent tears slowly ran down her cheeks but she made no move to swipe them away as she stared unseeing at the tv in front of her.
Eventually she turned around slightly on the couch, enough so she would be able to keep an eye on the area where Alex was sleeping. Her heart was heavy in her chest as she finally used her sleeves to dry the tear tracks burning across her cheeks. She’d seen Alex get hurt before, saw her get shot once while standing just a few feet away. But the kevlar vest she wore had absorbed the brunt of the impact and other than some bruises and cuts, she usually hadn’t been any worse for the wear. Nothing had come close to the bruised and battered form lying on the bed across the apartment and a sharp spike of anger welled up at the thought of people hurting Alex like that. At the thought of Cadmus being responsible for this as well.
She played with the empty beer bottle and debated on getting a new one when she heard the unmistakable sound of a window being opened. Glancing across her shoulder Maggie huffed out a laugh upon finding Kara floating in through the window, still in her supergirl suit and balancing a stack of pizza boxes in her arms.
“Sometimes I wonder if you even have a stomach,” she spoke up softly, unable to keep the amusement out of her voice.
“I had a decent exercise,” Kara said while placing the boxes on the table closest to the kitchen. “It works up an appetite.”
“So everything went okay?”
“Yeah.” Though she noticed Kara seemingly absorbed in her own thoughts for a moment and wondered what she wasn’t telling. “Operation went off without a hitch really. We captured a lot of Cadmus personnel, I’m not sure what’s going to happen to them. But most of them at least surrendered fairly quickly when they realized there was nowhere to go.”
“Sounds like I might have some extra paperwork tomorrow,” Maggie mused with a shake of her head. They processed a lot of Cadmus goons over the last two months and she knew without a doubt the whole circus around charging and prosecuting them all was going to take years.
Kara scrunched up her nose, “sorry,” she muttered, though it didn’t really sound like she was sorry at all and Maggie lightly bumped her arm.
Opening up one of the pizza boxes, Kara handed her a slice, though her gaze was stuck on the far side of the room and Maggie understood she was trying to listen in on Alex.
“She was still sleeping when I checked earlier.”
“Yeah, I figured. I’m glad really, she kept waking up the other night.” Kara’s voice wavered and she played with the slice of pizza in her hand. “She’s been having nightmares and she won’t really talk to me about them.”
“She will,” Maggie said softly, while trying not to think of Alex waking up screaming in the middle of the night.
“I know. I just hate that she does that though,” Kara said while turning to her, blue eyes gone bright with emotion. “Keeping all of that inside, trying to be strong even when she’s hurt like this. She won’t let me do much, other than redress her wounds and hold her at night. I think she…” Her throat bobbed as she swallowed repeatedly and Maggie reached out and placed her hand on top of Kara’s own as it dug into the wooden tabletop. “I think she blames herself for what happened. For not being able to protect me. Even though she suffered just as badly herself. I couldn’t protect her either Maggie, I have all these powers, I’m practically invincible and couldn’t do anything but watch as they beat her nearly to death in front of me.”
“I’m...sorry Kara,” Maggie whispered. Her throat constricted almost painfully as her mind got stuck on what Kara had just told her. She desperately tried not to visualize what had happened to Alex, but she’d seen the bruises and lacerations and it caused fresh tears to well up in her eyes. “I wish I...I-I saw her earlier and I just…”
“Yeah,” Kara said softly, thickly, and before she had a chance to do anything she found herself pulled into a tight hug again. “I know. She’ll be...okay, it’s just going to take time.”
Maggie nodded and withdrew from the hug while wiping some wetness away from her eyes with the back of her hands.
“I’m sorry,” Kara said after a few seconds had passed and Maggie glanced up from the slice of pizza she’d taken a small bite from. She wasn’t really that hungry considering her stomach was all knotted up but she figured she could at least finish a slice or two before excusing herself and going back to her own apartment.
“About not telling you what happened right away,” Kara continued while fidgeting with the edge of the pizza box. “I just...didn’t really know what to do.”
“It’s alright, I get it.” But it still made her heart clench. It wasn’t really something she wanted to think about, even though the cold stark reality of the situation had hit her in the face earlier when she saw Alex lying in that bed, a ghost of her normal self. At any one time Alex could get seriously injured, or even die, and she wouldn’t know about it until it was too late.
“Maggie?”
She refocused her attention on Kara, noting the nervousness flitting across her features as she held her gaze. “Yeah?”
“Can I ask what happened at least? I mean..I don’t meant to pry but…” Kara hesitated and Maggie stared past her, unsure of how she would even answer Kara’s questions. “Alex wouldn’t really tell me much and I just… She was so...so happy , so much lighter and she was smiling all the time, and then all of a sudden she wasn’t and I’m just..I’m wondering what happened.”
“I don’t really know either, Kara,” Maggie said after mulling it over for a moment. There wasn’t really any other answer she could give other than the truth and her entire being ached as she thought of the days spend analyzing every little thing, wondering what the hell she had done wrong. “I really don’t know but...she said that her feelings..changed. That she no longer felt the same way I did, that I was too self-absorbed and wrapped up in my own feelings to realize that we weren’t on the same page.”
Saying the words out loud like that hurt and Maggie turned away from Kara and closed her eyes. Everything was still too raw, too close to the surface and this, this situation where she was forced to explain how she had fucked something great up yet again, it was exactly the kind of thing she had been hoping to avoid.
“I only have myself to blame for this though,” she forced out past the lump in her throat.
“Maggie…”
“I said right from the start that these kind of things, these sort of relationships almost never work out. And I...I should’ve known really. The shininess wore off and what we had...it apparently wasn’t e-enough for Alex.”
She took deep steadying breaths, willing back the tears that were welling up in her eyes anew.
“I’m sorry..” Kara whispered, “maybe I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s fine. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.”
She turned around to face Kara and flashed her a watery smile. Though she noticed Kara’s eyes suddenly flicking towards the direction of her bed and Maggie’s stomach lurched at the implication.
“I think she might be waking up,” Kara confirmed her suspicions.
“That’s my cue to go then.” She’d already stayed far longer than planned and considering how close to the surface her emotions were she wasn’t looking forward to adding a confrontation with Alex to her inner turmoil. “Just...keep me appraised at least okay?”
“I will,” Kara said. Her eyes were filled with a warm kind of sympathy and Maggie averted her gaze, she would never get used to the amount of affection and kindness Kara showed for people she cared about.
“And you know you can always call me if you need my help with anything,” Maggie added as pulled on her leather jacket and walked to the door.
“Yeah,” Kara said as she walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder for a moment, “same goes to you as well, okay? Thank you again and I’ll keep you updated on Alex’s adventures as the worst patient in the universe.”
Chuckling, Maggie opened the door and glanced back with a softly uttered, “bye,” before closing it behind her.
Her expression fell as she leaned against the wall next to the door, trying to get her bearings. She couldn’t stop her mind from replaying the memories of Alex lying there, deadly pale, covered in bruises and cuts. Swallowing thickly she walked out of the apartment building, making a mental note to toss the opened beer still sitting in the fridge at her own place. She’d need something a lot stronger to get any sleep that night.