Work Text:
Ryuzaki: N
Ryuzaki: N
Ryuzaki: N
Ryuzaki: N
Near: Sorry. Needed to have my blood taken.
Ryuzaki: I know I can see you
Near: Am I looking at the same camera you are?
Ryuzaki: yes
Ryuzaki: good guess
Near smiled, and offered a small wave to the unassuming spot on the ceiling he’d correctly noted the slightly-off smoke alarm tucked in the corner of. The smoke alarm was real. But the blinking red light wasn’t part of the original design.
His phone buzzed again, and the sheets shifted under his elbows, as he raised it to his face.
Ryuzaki: bed rest
Ryuzaki: means resting
Ryuzaki: means stop moving around
Near: I know.
Near could imagine hearing L sigh. It was a little worrying, but it was a nicer feeling to know he was being watched. Not in an intrusive way, the way the nurses had been, making him shut down and blank out until someone had forced everyone else far enough away for his attention to refocus on a single target.
L was like his guardian angel. Held at a safe distance, but still protective.
Too protective. Near hadn’t gotten that badly hurt.
Near: you can see Mello too. Is he hurt?
Ryuzaki: …
Near: I can see you typing. You don’t need to send that.
Ryuzaki: I know I was building suspense
A laugh bubbled in Near’s throat, and he swallowed it, the smile slipping through to tug at his lips and the two stitches in his left temple. It was easy to make him laugh, when it was L. They shared a sense of humour, or a frequent lack thereof.
Ryuzaki: hes less hurt than you
Ryuzaki: as N should logically conclude from him not being the one to fall off a wall
Ryuzaki: onto metal
Ryuzaki: outside the grounds
Near: Foxes must have moved the broken fencing. It wasn’t there when I scouted the area.
Ryuzaki: drones are unreliable
Ryuzaki: send human scouts next time
Shifting just enough so as not to disturb the meticulously tucked sheets around him, Near curled onto his side, forming a protective shield around himself. It was instinct, to protect what was his. Soft as a suggestion on the wind, never enough to bother anyone, but he always herded his toys out of the way when someone else entered the room.
Ryuzaki: still watching you and M
Ryuzaki: what are you hiding
A thumb tugged at his bottom lip, and Near let his elbow press against the one thing he’d done the whole thing for. Partially for the adrenaline, under Mello’s persuasion, because he couldn’t always be a paragon of self-inhibition. But he knew his own clumsiness, his own abilities, and he wouldn’t have gone sneaking out with an 85% chance of a bad ending for nothing at all.
Near: Nothing.
L would know it was a lie. But one thing Near had checked for was cameras on their path, and it was a small victory, that he’d been thus far successful in his secondary goal—out of four, prioritised and listed—of concealing vital information from L himself.
Ryuzaki: last chance
Ryuzaki: you get one more than normal because you are hurt
Near: I hurt myself though.
Near: Guess?
Ryuzaki: teddy bear you found in A’s room when you went looking five years ago
Ryuzaki: I could have told Rogers then but he found it on his own
Ryuzaki: I had hoped you wouldn’t go after it
Ryuzaki: black design without a tag approx eight inches tall and six in diameter
Ryuzaki: ring box inside
Ryuzaki: you never looked to check despite being aware of its existence
Ryuzaki: it was put there by a seam beneath the tail which was added afterwards
Ryuzaki: had been outside for four days
Ryuzaki: you were very emotional about it
Ryuzaki: N?
Near swallowed, and hugged the slightly damp bear closer. He’d known L must know. There had been a reason he’d woken up with it, after he’d fainted from shock and the terror of seeing his own arm skewered by rusty metal and blood leaking from his head.
L was right. As always.
He had been too emotional about it. About this whole episode. Near didn’t know how to rationalise it, couldn’t explain his attachment to the meaningless toy, which he couldn’t even create something bigger out of. It merely existed, to no end at all aside from the one he should have left it to.
Near: Correct.
Ryuzaki: can I see it?
Near nodded, and rolled back to his starting position, holding up the stuffed toy so it was clutched to his chest, but perfectly visible. His phone vibrated beside him, but he took a moment, to smell the damp and the faint pine oil.
He took a moment, to hug this remnant of a failed successor close, and breathe in what someone else’s path to victory had been.
When he picked up his phone, L had only sent one more message, then had gone quiet for however long Near had taken for himself.
Ryuzaki: distancing yourself will matter as much as keeping the toy to your overall success
He was typing again, as soon as Near had wiped his eyes with the very corner of his white sleeve.
Ryuzaki: by which I mean
Ryuzaki: I wouldn’t blame you for keeping it either
Ryuzaki: but A has no correlation to your life beyond a common start and end goal
Near: thank you
Ryuzaki: you act too much like me for me to have let them take it from you
Ryuzaki: I would have been disappointed if you didn’t break half the house
Near: why didn’t you let me try?
Ryuzaki: why would I let you be upset about it?
Near: Fair enough
Ryuzaki: I have never claimed to be fair
Ryuzaki: but I will also not deny you some satisfaction in knowing you have succeeded over at least one of your competitors
So that was what it was. Near squeezed the bear again, then turned it around, and set it on the pure-white bedsheets, frowning at it. L thought this was a form of self-agrandisation, a way of crowing over his supposedly defeated foe.
Ryuzaki: primarily because I would prefer not to think you feel sympathy
Ryuzaki: and trust I have already taken my own precautions regarding your possible idolisation of A
Ryuzaki: if N must hope to live up to someone
Ryuzaki: at least I am still alive
That drew a pout to Near’s lips, and he glared back up at the camera. He didn’t need to text anything. L should know from where his petulance came, from the idea that his idol could suspect him of suicidal ideation. As if he would ever do something so basal, something so plainly attention-seeking and emotional as to kill himself.
No. L should think better of him than that.
Near: To kill myself would be to admit I don’t believe I can live up to you
Near: I still do
Ryuzaki: and I sincerely hope you continue to
Ryuzaki: But I would not wish to lose N as well as A and B
He wasn’t going to budge. Near would wonder why L even cared so much about people who would only matter after his death, but the answer was obvious. It was a part of being L, to be eternal.
Perhaps it was too big a thought, on his recently-concussed mind, to consider whether L held any sentimental attachment for him.
Near: I understand why you don’t believe in me
Ryuzaki: N
Ryuzaki: that is emotions speaking
Near: Im being rational
Ryuzaki: I can see you pouting…
Near: I wouldn’t kill myself because I’m not weak enough not to find another way out of an unbearable situation
Near: I’m not going to do what A did because I know you
Near: And I know what you have done can be done again
Near: I know I’m right.
Ryuzaki: I think N should get some sleep
Near: Remove the safeguards you’ve asked Rogers to put on me
Ryuzaki: no
Near: I will not tolerate supervision, or removal of my personal possessions
Ryuzaki: then you may find life intolerable for a brief period
Near: Is Mello getting similar infantilising treatment?
Ryuzaki: no
Ryuzaki: Mello is getting another counselling session per fortnight
Near: This cannot be solely because he has more mental health supports than I do
Ryuzaki: it could be
Ryuzaki: it could also be because I find you less predictable
Ryuzaki: or I could be using this as cover for closer observation of you following uncharacteristic disobedience
Ryuzaki: the possibilities are endless
Ryuzaki: get some sleep
Shooting a lethal, deeply suspicious glare at the camera he’d been talking to L through, Near deliberately sunk down under his bedsheets, pulling them up to cover his head with the stuffed bear tucked under his chin.
Near: Interference with my life will lead to a degradation of the abilities I can hone in complete privacy and freedom
Ryuzaki: so be the price to pay for having you alive
Near hated arguing with L. It was why he was hiding from his problems, frustration a gentle pressure on the back of his throat. In some ways, incomparable to Mello’s all-consuming rage. In other ways, his displeasure, sparked, was all the more unbearable for those who it manifested in front of.
Near: I will sleep three hours less than my current nightly average if I know my wellbeing is being monitored outside of my own request
Ryuzaki: we both know that would be a wilful rebellion
Ryuzaki: try harder
Near: Wilful rebellion should still have the intended impact if executed correctly
Ryuzaki: it would
Ryuzaki: if I cared
Near: I have a back door into the last three cases you shirked responsibility for. I can upload your involvement for global credit
Smirking, Near snuggled under the blanket, hoping L looked just as insulted as he was hoping. It was no real, personal threat. But the great detective would take it as the deepest blow to his faux-altruistic ego.
Ryuzaki: N is smart
Near: Pull any safeguards you put in place
Ryuzaki: congratulations, N
Ryuzaki: I won’t tell Rogers anything
Ryuzaki: but I am keeping everything I ever intended to do
Ryuzaki: there are two cameras in your room and I expect daily communications on your mental state
And L had been a step ahead.
Of course.
Near scowled, and tucked his head lower. He hoped L thought he might have died. There was little less than childish spitefulness left to fight with.
Near: every other day
Near: I have other commitments
Ryuzaki: acceptable
Ryuzaki: you can write it up alongside Mello if you wish
It wasn’t even a fair game, if L just lied to him at every turn. It made it impossible to play maturely. And Near was meant to be the child between them
Near: you don’t play fair, Ryuzaki
Ryuzaki: I will play fair
Ryuzaki: you presume your safety is a game to me
Near: We both know it is.
Ryuzaki: go to sleep