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“Goshiki, stop it. You're not a fledgling anymore.” Sakusa’s words were sharp, and they cut Goshiki to the bone. He wasn't a fledgling anymore. His ridiculous antics - charging around, cheering when he accomplished a cool new trick - were no longer allowed. He would be assigned to one of the coming year’s Trainee Flocks if he didn't find an already-trained rider soon. But his year was so small...the Command Flock would have to pull unassigned dragons and maybe some actual fledglings to form a full flock.
And what Trainee would want a wild, untamed dragon? What unassigned rider would, for that matter?
Sakusa hadn't even used his given name to chastise him either, and that hurt worst of all.
Goshiki didn't even realize he’d hunched his shoulders and curled his wings around himself until someone touched the edge of his wing membrane.
“Tsutomu, what's wrong?” Yamagata’s voice washed over him, and the human’s familiar touch trailed up his wing as high as he could reach, then back down again in a soothing motion. Goshiki shifted, lowered his wing slightly, and peered over it, blinking down at Yamagata for a moment as he wondered when he’d gotten there. “Tsutomu,” Yamagata repeated, gently shifting the membrane aside and stepping inside the curved shelter of Goshiki’s wings. “Hey. Come down here.” Goshiki hesitated, then crouched and lowered his head until his chin rested on the ground in front of Yamagata, who sat beside his muzzle and reached up to scratch the soft spot between Goshiki’s eyes. The dragon closed his eyes and let out a low, rumbling purr as his body heat started to rise. “That’s better,” Yamagata announced as Goshiki’s wings slumped, spreading over the ground on either side of him, scales pleasantly warm. “Now tell me what’s bugging you.”
“I want to stay a fledgling,” Goshiki sighed. “I mean, I don’t, I want to get bigger and stronger and learn more, but...I’ll never find a rider. Not one who’ll partner with me the way I want.” Yamagata’s fingers paused, then quickly resumed, once more finding their way beneath the uneven gap in Goshiki’s scales to drag his nails lightly over the dragon’s hide.
“How do you want your rider to work with you?” Yamagata asked. Goshiki huffed, his warm breath washing over Yamagata’s thigh as the dragon lifted and turned his head slightly, just enough to get a better look at Yamagata, but not enough to dislodge his hand from the soft spot.
“I want someone who loves me,” Goshiki said quietly. “Someone I can breathe fire for. But...I don’t think I’ll find anyone..” Yamagata’s ministrations paused once more, and this time they didn’t start again.
“Tsutomu, you’re an amazing dragon,” Yamagata told him, his expression clouded and his voice serious. “You’re brilliant and precise and you’ll only get better as you grow. Any rider would be lucky to have you, and they’d have to be stupid not to love you.” Goshiki blinked at him, a little confused by how abruptly solemn and sad the rider sounded, but a moment later he processed Yamagata’s words, and his wings lifted and fluttered happily as he stretched his neck and nudged at Yamagata’s shoulder.
“You really think so?” Goshiki asked, his voice rising to almost a chirp with joy. Yamagata’s lips twisted into what might have been a smile as he nodded.
“Of course. You’re amazing, Tsutomu,” Yamagata assured him. He patted the inky-black scales on Goshiki’s shoulder, his fingertips lingering for a second on the faintest hint of silver on the edges closest to his chest, worried for a second that the fledgling might have a fever, because he thought he’d detected a spike in Goshiki’s temperature. “Ah, will you be okay flying formation drills with Kyoomi today? I have an errand to run,” Yamagata said quickly. “Let Kyoomi know, and I’ll cover for him another day so he can sneak off with Motoya.” Goshiki tilted his head, curiosity blazing in his eyes.
“Does that mean you have someone you want to be with like Kyoomi and Motoya are?” the dragon asked.
“Of course I do. But he’ll never consider it, so it doesn’t matter,” Yamagata replied, struggling to keep the edge of bitterness out of his voice. He didn’t completely succeed if the way Goshiki’s wings clamped tight against his back was any indication. “Sorry. I just...really have to go.” Goshiki nodded reluctantly, obviously still confused, but not wanting to make Yamagata snap at him, so the rider turned and hurried away before he said something he shouldn’t.
He made it as far as Sakae and Teradomari’s cave on the edge of the unassigned pairs’ quarters before he gave in and slumped against the wall. He needed to get to his room in the riders’ quarters on the other side of the caves that housed riders and dragons who’d paired up but hadn’t chosen or been assigned a flock yet.
“Hey. You look like shit.” Yamagata groaned and turned his face towards the stone wall. He forgot Teradomari’s cave was right below the one Ushijima used before being moved to Trainee Flock Two for the year, which meant Ushijima’s rider might still pass by out of habit.
“Fuck off, Shirabu.”
“You work with kids. Shouldn't you not have such a potty mouth?” Yamagata considered covering his ears to block out Shirabu’s voice. “Seriously though, you look like Goshiki chewed you up and spit you out,” Shirabu observed.
“I wish,” Yamagata muttered. “At least then he might notice me.”
“What the fuck? You fly with him all the time. He definitely notices you, you idiot,” Shirabu snapped.
“Only as the rider in charge of his training. He wants to fall in love and-”
“And he doesn't know you like him,” Shirabu finished. “I don't know why you're even talking to me about this-”
“Because you said I looked like shit. And since you're a nosy little bastard, I assumed you'd want to know why,” Yamagata retorted. Shirabu purses his lips disapprovingly at the interruption, then continued as though Yamagata hadn't spoken.
“-but since you've come to me-”
“You walked up and insulted me!”
“-I'll give you some advice. Goshiki might like you and not know it yet. Try putting yourself in immediate mortal danger. It worked for me,” Shirabu finished. Yamagata turned around, sacrificing the shielding of the wall to shoot a withering glare at Shirabu. “What? It's true.”
“Yeah but your dragon had already picked you,” Yamagata pointed out. “Tsutomu doesn't even consider me a potential rider.”
“Well maybe that's because you're in charge of the hatchlings and fledglings,” Shirabu pointed out. “No one is going to think they have a chance with you while the Command Flock basically monopolizes you for the runts.” Yamagata opened his mouth to defend the fledglings - ‘runts’ was hardly fitting, they weren't done growing and even if they were, Shirabu shouldn't call them that - but Shirabu was already turning away. “Face it. You'll never be able to give Goshiki a chance to have feelings for you while you're a glorified babysitter.” Yamagata’s gaze sharpened, and his lips turned down in irritation. “Oh, don’t get all huffy. The point is, if Goshiki thinks you’re going to be with next year’s fledglings training them, of course he wouldn’t consider you as a rider he could choose for himself.”
“I hate it when you make sense,” Yamagata informed the other rider. “Good thing it only happens a few times a year.” Shirabu’s eyes narrowed, but he stayed silent, probably caught between being smug about having given advice to a more experienced rider and being irritated that Yamagata had still managed to insult him while admitting Shirabu was right.
“Hey! Shirabu! Quit tormenting Yamagata; he looks like hell, and you pestering him doesn’t help!” One of the other intermediate riders assigned to Flock Two, Semi, was stomping toward them. Shirabu turned to snap at the newcomer, and Yamagata decided that was his cue to escape. Neither of them noticed his hasty exit, too absorbed in bickering with each other. Honestly, Yamagata had no idea what had possessed the Command Flock to assign those two to the same Trainee Flock as intermediates. And now that he was thinking about the Command Flock, he should probably find one of those pairs and discuss his assignment.
Whether Goshiki decided he wanted Yamagata as his rider or not, Yamagata didn’t think he could train any more fledglings. After all, none of them would ever hold a candle to Goshiki.
Yamagata watched the pile of gangly limbs, too-large wings, and iridescent scales that was the heap of sleeping fledglings in the middle of their shared cave. Kawanishi was half awake and trying to squeeze out from underneath Goshiki, who was sprawled across Kawanishi’s back and Konoha’s tail. After a few minutes, Kawnishi gave up and flopped down in defeat, his breathing quickly evening out as he fell back to sleep.
“You know, you don’t have to check on them every night,” Sakusa murmured as he approached, watching Yamagata thoughtfully.
“I know. But since I left them to you all day, I wanted to make sure they were sleeping okay,” Yamagata replied softly.
“I stole that Aone kid away from Kenji for the day and made Motoya help me, so don’t feel too guilty. But if you really feel like you should do something, wake Tsutomu up before he crushes Taichi,” Sakusa urged. Yamagata frowned at his fellow rider, who shrugged, expression unreadable as he added, “You should talk to him. I know you don’t want him to be handed off to a trainee who’ll try to tame him.”
“Who he chooses as his rider - or if he’s assigned to a Trainee Flock to be paired with rider candidates - is his business, and I’m not going to interfere with it,” Yamagata insisted.
“So you’re actually going to let someone else have a chance to snatch him away, even though it’s been obvious for months that you want Tsutomui for yourself?” Sakusa’s tone was colored with disbelief.
“I’m not going to try to force Tsutomu to choose me,” Yamagata insisted. “He wants to fall in love with his rider, and he deserves the chance to choose who he flies with.”
“He deserves to know that what he’s looking for is right here,” Sakusa countered. Yamagata glanced at him, eyebrow raised skeptically. “Don't you think he deserves to at least know you're an option? Isn't that why you're stepping down and leaving me in charge of the hatchlings next year?”
“Who told you that?” Yamagata snapped.
“No one. I guessed. You seemed extra guilty, so-”
“I call bullshit.”
“Language, Hayato. The children,” Sakusa chided mildly.
“You talked to Shirabu didn't you?” Yamagata accused. “That gossiping little-”
“Actually, Ittetsu told me,” Sakusa sniffed. “He said you went to talk to him and Keishin about becoming a regular unassigned rider again.”
“I am unnerved by you calling two members of the Command Flock by name,” Yamagata informed him. “And by you apparently gossiping with them.” Sakusa shrugged and turned to leave.
“You can stare at the fledglings some more if it makes you feel better, but I’m going to go back to my room and cuddle with Motoya, since he and I actually talked to each other and admitted our feelings, unlike a certain soon-to-be-unassigned rider I know,” Sakusa said over his shoulder.
“You two had already known each other for years, though. You were friends. I'm just…in charge of Tsutomu’s training,” Yamagata insisted.
“Suit yourself. But when he finds someone else and they break his heart, or they try to change him, or even if he's happy with them and it hurts to even think about him...don't come complaining to me.” With that, Sakusa was gone, and Yamagata was left to stare at the peacefully sleeping heap of hatchlings.
“Hayato!” Goshiki shouted as he dropped out of the sky to land right in front of Yamagata on his way to wake the fledglings up for the day.
“Good morning, Tsutomu,” Yamagata greeted him, smiling and reaching up, expecting Goshiki to lower his head like usual so Yamagata could scratch the soft spot on his forehead. He was left with one hand lifted in confusion as Goshiki straightened instead, folding his wings neatly and arching his neck so he was looking down at Yamagata seriously.
“Hayato, will you fly with me? Right now, before training officially begins?” Goshiki asked formally. Yamagata blinked and lowered his hand.
“Did you and Kyoomi have an argument again?” Yamagata studied the dragon’s reaction carefully. Goshiki didn’t shift uncertainly the way he usually did when he and Sakusa butted heads.
“Will you fly with me?” Goshiki repeated, the tip of his tail starting to twitch, probably because Yamagata hadn’t answered him.
“Of course, Tsutomu. When have I ever turned you down?” Yamagata pointed out. “You don’t have to be so formal about asking, you know. You won’t be one of my fledglings much longer.” Which meant he had to make these last few weeks of training before the new year of Trainee Flocks was assigned last as long as possible.
“I know. That’s why I asked like that,” Goshiki admitted, crouching and shifting his foreleg to make it easier for Yamagata to climb onto his back. “Soon a bunch of other dragons will be all over you, asking you to fly with them instead.” Yamagata started to climb Goshiki’s side, then paused, perched precariously on his shoulder, to take in the young dragon’s words and the fact that he didn’t have a saddle.
“You know I would still make time to fly with you, right?” Yamagata asked, leaning toward Goshiki’s wing to scratch soothingly at the soft spot just beneath the joint.
“But you won’t be forced to put up with stupid fledglings like me anymore!” Goshiki blurted out, straightening and twisting, pulling away from the comfort of Yamagata’s touch. His movements sent Yamagata tilting wildly, off balance and scrambling for a hold on the young dragon’s scales. “You’ll get to fly with better dragons, so I have to try to be better!” Goshiki turned his head just in time to see Yamagata’s fingers slip from the grip he’d tried to get on the scales. Yamagata fell, the perfectly manageable height of Goshiki’s shoulder suddenly seeming a lot less manageable as he hit the ground, his upper back first.
Yamagata’s ears rang, and his lungs refused to pull in the air he needed to lecture Goshiki about staying properly still when a rider was trying to get on his back. Yamagata wheezed, realizing distantly that the fall had knocked the wind out of him. He knew it wasn’t that big of a deal - it wasn’t the first time it had happened, and Yamagata was sure it wouldn’t be the last - but when his lungs finally started cooperating again and he could breathe, he realized that his ears weren’t ringing after all. Instead, Goshiki was screeching in panic as he hovered over the fallen rider, the shimmering black scales of his muzzle blocking out Yamagata’s view of anything else.
“-wonder you’re quitting, you’ll be able to get a dragon who’ll stand still and won’t toss you off and what if you’d fallen while I was flying, I couldn’t deal with that, please don’t be dead, Hayato, please!”
“Tsu,” Yamagata gasped, because while he was breathing again he couldn’t quite manage full sentences - or even words, apparently - yet. “‘M okay.” Goshiki’s voice fell silent, and a moment later, the dragon’s muzzle tentatively prodded at Yamagata’s side.
“Please get up,” Goshiki whimpered. Yamagata groaned and patted Goshiki’s muzzle reassuringly.
“Not yet,” Yamagata answered. “Give me a second.” Goshiki whined again, but the sound cut off as Yamagata sat up. “I’m fine. Just got the wind knocked out of me. Okay? Look, I’m fine, Tsutomu. Quit looking at me like I’m gonna break.”
“But...I just…” Goshiki’s voice shook, and Yamagata sighed and held his arms out.
“Come here.” Goshiki obeyed, crouching and resting his chin on Yamagata’s legs. The rider draped one arm over Goshiki’s muzzle, and scratched the spot on his forehead with his other hand. Goshiki’s jaw trembled. “Why are you so upset? We still have time to fly before training starts,” Yamagata assured him.
“But I wanted it to be perfect,” Goshiki sniffed. Yamagata frowned at him, and the dragon let out a soft little noise before explaining. “Taichi said you’re quitting. That you’re tired of dealing with dumb, overexcited babies.”
“I am going back to being an unassigned rider, but that’s not why,” Yamagata admitted. “And Taichi probably just said that to get you to-”
“But you’re so good! It’s not fair! Next year’s fledglings deserve a chance to have someone like -”
“They’ll have Kyoomi, and others. They’ll be fine. And I’ll keep helping Kyoomi out until I a dragon requests me. I just won’t be in charge anymore.” Something occurred to Yamagata, and he tilted his head curiously. “Why is it so important to you that I stay with the fledglings?” Goshiki was silent, so Yamagata stopped scratching his soft spot. Goshiki whined in complaint, and when Yamagata didn’t resume his ministrations, the dragon closed his eyes in defeat.
“Because if you go back to being available to fly with older, better dragons, you won’t want to fly with me anymore,” Goshiki explained reluctantly.
“There are definitely older dragons, but there aren’t any better ones,” Yamagata corrected. Goshiki opened one eye, disbelief evident. “That’s why I don’t want to be in charge of the fledglings anymore; no dragon will ever be as good as you.”
“I can’t even stand still for you to get on my back,” Goshiki protested, lifting his head to properly stare incredulously down at Yamagata, who shrugged.
“That’s just how I see things. I’m sure Aone would say the same thing about Kenji,” Yamagata replied. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew they were a bad idea. Goshiki’s eyes flew wide, and his wings unfolded halfway, then flapped twice in excitement.
“Are you saying you like me the way Aone likes Kenji?” Goshiki squeaked, his entire body wiggling. Yamagata hesitated. He hadn’t really expected a positive reaction if Goshiki made the connection.
“Uh…”
“Forget what I said about next year’s fledglings,” Goshiki decided. “Come be my rider instead!” Yamagata opened his mouth to explain himself, then blinked and sat there for a second, jaw hanging slightly open.
“What?” Goshiki wilted at the shock in Yamagata’s voice, and suddenly his wings were drooping, and his tail curled around his feet anxiously.
“Unless...you don’t…?”
“No, I mean, of course I do, but didn’t you...you said you want someone to-”
“I said I want someone who loves me,” Goshiki reminded him quietly. “I want someone I love.” He lowered his head, nudged Yamagata’s shoulder with his snout, his scales flaring with warmth. “I didn’t want to be selfish and take you away from the other fledglings who deserve someone like you teaching them. But if you’re quitting anyway, then…” Yamagata reached up, and this time, Goshiki tilted his head to fit his forehead against Yamagata’s hand.
“When have I ever turned you down?” Yamagata murmured, fingers curling to scratch gently at the soft spot between his eyes, which fluttered shut as Goshiki’s scales pulsed with heat.