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Hinata was exhausted. No, exhausted didn’t cover it : he felt empty, drained, as if he hadn’t sleep in 40 hours… which was incidentally the case. He looked at Komaeda, asleep in his pod and sighed. He had just spend three hours working on his muscles, trying to do his best to avoid any kind of atrophia. It will gain them some time for when - if - when - if - when he wakes up.
His eyes moved to the robotic arm, on the desk at the opposite of the room. He had a couple of his tools there, since he felt more relaxed when he could keep an eye on Komaeda’s state when he was working on it. One of the first thing he had done was taking Junko’s arm away and throwing it into the sea, hoping to never see this abomination again. Since then, he worked on the arm. He really wanted something great. Something Komaeda will be happy about.
For one second butterflies blackened his view and he held onto the pod to not pass out. He really needed to sleep, but the pod had to be cleaned up before that.
“Hinata, what the hell are you doing ?”
Hinata jumped and turned toward the door to see a very-pissed Kuzuryu and a very-worried Sonia enter the room.
“I’m fine” he said, checking a last time Komaeda’s blood states. “The headaches didn’t let me alone last night. I’ll be better tomorrow.”
“No way” Kuzuryu said, walking closer to him, Sonia following quietly behind him. “It’s the second time this week. You need to take care of you, for fuck’s sake. You cannot just spend your days here, waiting for this guy to wake up when it could never…”
“Fuyuhiko !” Sonia cut him off. Then she smiles gently to Hinata : “What he meant is that you don’t have to take care of Nagito by yourself. Mikan can take care of his physical health, I asked Souda if he could work on his arm and…”
“I’m fine, Sonia.” He replied as politely as possible, because it made sense that none of them understood the he had to do it alone. “Thank you, but I can do it by myself.”
“Listen, it’s not a fucking suggestion” Kuzuryu said “You need to eat with us, to play stupid card games with us, to worry about whatever we choose to worry about this day, and if you need to sleep, I’m sure Tsumiki can give you some stuff too. Go to sleep, Hinata. If we need to do something, tell us and we will.”
Hinata glared at him. It wasn’t going to happen.
“No one bothered you when you insisted to take care of Pekoyama by yourself, right ? So it’s really not your place to tell me something like that.”
“Peko woke up after ten days, you idiot !” Kuzuryu’s face was red but Hinata couldn’t say if it was because he was angry or embarrassed. “Everyone was running left and right to take care of everyone who was still… asleep. But it’s been five months, Hinata, and we are all ready to help you and you are killing yourself over this guy for absolutely no reason ! You do realize he isn’t going to die if we are the one who move him around, do you ?”
For one second, the silence fell on the room. Hinata looked at Kuzuryu and Sonia’s face, bathed in the blue-ish light coming from the last pod in use. They both looked… frustrated. Hurt. And Hinata realized that he was probably a pretty terrible leader right now.
He would get better. Once everyone was awake, he would do the right, the reasonable choices, he would help everyone, he would agree to their suggestions even if they didn’t convince him, he promised he would. But for now…
“I don’t trust you” he said, with so little emotion that he almost shivered in fear of seeing Kamukura’s shadow behind him. “I’m sorry, I know it’s unfair but that’s why I can’t let you take my place with him.”
“You… don’t trust us ?” Kuzuryu repeated as if he couldn’t believe what he had just said. “What, you think one of us is going to kill him behind your back ? That’s really a nice idea you have of us, there. We aren’t all his fans, sure, but we know you care about him and we wouldn’t hurt him in anyway.”
Hinata bit his tongue. They didn’t understand.
“You could make a mistake.” he said.
“Wow, and you couldn’t ?” Hinata didn’t reply, and threw a look at the monitor displaying Komaeda’s infos while Kuzuryu laughed bitterly. “You are a fucking jerk, I hope you know that.”
Then he was gone and only Sonia was there, glaring at him the same way mothers glared at their annoying offspring.
“You should apologize” she just said. “And try to sleep tonight, please.” She hesitated. “Not that my concern is enough to force you to do something, I understand that. Good night.”
She left and Hinata spend a long minute looking at the door, cursing their princess for being so good at being passive-agressive. He sighed deeply, taking his decision.
He could take care of the rest tomorrow.
He managed to sleep relatively well. No headaches, no nightmares, he fell asleep like one passes out, and woke up seven hours later with enough shame for what he had said the day before to get out of the bed. Sonia was right, he needed to apologize to Kuzuryu, and to her, too.
… First he needed to check on Komaeda. Not for very long, half an hour, just making sure that everything was fine. He took the direction of the ‘Wake-Up Room’ ( Kazuichi had been the one to come up with the nickname and they all accepted it )
When he entered the room, he was surprised to find Sonia by Komaeda’s pod, reading a book quietly, as regal as ever.
“Sonia ?” he said, surprised, making sure that the pod hadn’t been opened without his permission.
As rough as he has been the day before, he couldn’t help but believe his own words. None of them wanted Komaeda dead… maybe, he knew that. But it was either because they were generally good people ( like Sonia ) or because they knew how important it was for Hinata to have him waking up ( like Kazuichi ). He didn’t blame them for it, it was fine, but Hinata wasn’t in the same situation : he needed Komaeda to wake up. Because someone else dying because of him would be absolutely disastrous, but also because he needed answers. He needed the words that Komaeda held hidden deep inside, and that he hadn’t been able to hear in the simulation. There was something he needed that only Komaeda could give him. A closure maybe, something that would put his world at peace. It was probably stupid to expect it from Komaeda, but what was he supposed to do ?
He barely could explain it to himself, it was no surprise that the others didn’t get it.
“Good morning Hinata, did you have a pleasant rest ?” the princess smiled, and put her book aside.
“Yes, I did, thank you.” he replied. “Listen, about yesterday…”
Sonia waved it off graciously.
“It’s no matter. You weren’t the most diplomatic person in the world, but I’ve seen worst.”
“Yeah, I guess you did, uh ? I still wanted to apologize. You didn’t deserve it, guys. You were just trying to help me.” Hinata said.
“I accept your apology. With one condition - allow me to help ? I want to help you take care of Nagito too, please.”
“Sonia…”
He rocked back and forth on his heels, trying to find a way to escape it without being as distasteful than before. Before he was able to answer, Sonia took out a hairbrush from the little bag she had brought with her and he hadn’t noticed until then. She presented it to Hinata, a victorious smile on her lips.
“I saw that Komaeda’s hair weren’t in the best state ? The pod keep us clean, but believe me, brushing my hair after I woke up was a terrible business. Same for Hiyoko, from what she told me. I wouldn’t wish it to Nagito, or even to my worst enemy. I thought I could help with that if it’s alright with you ?”
Relief bloomed through Hinata’s chest and he smiled.
“It’s… it’s a great idea Sonia. I’m sure he will be grateful.”
They both spend two hours in the room, taking care of an asleep Komaeda, making small talk, and Hinata realized how much he had needed it, how lonely he had been during these months, and while he wanted to tell it to Sonia, her soft smile told him she understood. She was really cautious, gentle, almost tender with Komaeda’s hair, even though he couldn’t feel any pain in his state.
“I’m famished” Sonia eventually said. “Will you come with me to restaurant ? Kuzuryu might be there, if you want to tell him something ?”
She gave him a hopeful smile, and he nodded. He needed a break anyway. He needed to breath.
The day after, not only Sonia was there, but Koizumi was by her side, a frown of her face. Her expression brightened up when she saw Hinata.
“Ah, finally ! Sonia told me you would be there around 9 ? Did you oversleep ?” she said.
“I… I don’t really have a fixed schedule ? I’m sorry if you waited but… why are you here ?” he asked.
Koizumi smiled.
“To help ! Look at Komaeda’s clothes, they are falling apart, good god, someone needs to do something about it !” She picked up the sew kit she had brought with her. “Give me his jacket, and I’ll see what I can do, alright ?”
Hinata hesitated, because while he didn’t want to anger Koizumi, taking off Komaeda’s jacket would be a real bother, with all the captors he had on his body and the IV plugged on his arm. But Sonia was there, absolutely beaming, and Koizumi was well-decided to help Komaeda too and he could appreciate the attention.
“Alright” he said. “Wait a little, I need to take off the captors without mixing them up.”
The next few hours were spent with the girls talking and bantering jokingly, complaining about Owari and Kazuichi’s antics but also hearing about the latest news from the Novoselic Kingdom. It was mostly Sonia and Koizumi talking but Hinata replied from time to time, and tried to cheer Sonia up when she seemed pretty depressed by the state of her dear country.
At some point, Sonia was done with Komaeda’s hair and joined Koizumi who happily taught her how to sew.
“It’s amazing, Mahiru, I can’t believe I was never allowed to this, it’s so much fun !” Sonia chipped. “Hinata, could you take off Komaeda’s pants, maybe there are some hole to fill in there too ?”
Hinata’s eyes widened and he choked on his own spit. How did Sonia manage to say that kind of thing with a straight face ?
“Hum, no I don’t think so Sonia.”
“Ah, that’s too bad !”
He rolled his eyes but a chuckle was trying to pass by his lips. Koizumi berated Sonia on her sewing and Sonia apologized profusely. It was just very pleasant altogether. He stared at Komaeda’s immobile, white face and because he didn’t really want for the girl to hear him, he mouthed quietly :
“See, they care, so hurry up and wake up.”
The next morning, he heard screams from inside the room even before entering it.
“Wait for Hinata !” Sonia yelled-whispered.
“Why ? I’m not doing anything wrong !” replied another voice. Saionji’s voice ( uh oh, Hinata thought, that’s not a good sign )
“Mahiru, I’m not doing anything wrong, I’m just trying to make him more beautiful !” Saionji said.
Hinata decided to walk in, bracing himself for whatever nonsense he would find in there. Weirdly, he wasn’t as panicked as he would have been a couple of days before. In some way, he trusted Sonia - and Koizumi too - to not let anyone hurt Komaeda.
“Good morning everyone” he said.
“Big bro !” the next moment, Saionji was right in front him, a big, scary smile on her lips. “I want to help the weirdo too, and Mahiru said I could, and only Sonia ( she almost spat the name ) said I couldn’t, as if she was the one to decide !”
“I never said that, Hiyoko” Sonia said. “I just said we needed to wait for Komaeda to open the pod, isn’t that right ?”
Only at that moment Hinata noticed that the pod was open.
“What…” He almost run by Komaeda’s side and froze.
His whole face was covered in… make up ? Or some sort of colored marker, maybe. And Hinata might have known nothing about make up, he could see that it wasn’t nice at all. Saionji had treated Komaeda’s face the way a little girl treats her baby doll, and applied some red marker all over his mouth, blue on his eyelids ( and any skin under his eyebrows, actually ), and bright pink on his cheeks.
The result was ridiculous.
“What do you think, big bro ? It’s great, right ?” Saionji seemed to have a lot of fun. Hinata heard Koizumi chuckle in her corner of the room. Sonia didn’t seem as amused as the two others girls, and he didn’t really know what to think of it. Sure the girl didn’t expect for him to be happy with it, right ?
“Do you have something to clean that off ? “ he asked Sonia, who nodded and rushed toward the bathroom.
“Why ?” Saionji said. “You are spoiling all my fun !”
She was pouting, annoyed by Hinata’s attitude and he wondered if she was really hurt. He looked at Komaeda’s ridiculous face again. Maybe… maybe he could see that she had done her best, by using different shades of blue on his eyelids, for example. He decided to honor Sonia and to be nice, for once.
“Listen, Komaeda can’t have anything on his face, I need to be able to check his… uh… vitals, and having chemical components there may change the results.”
He was a bad liar and he saw Koizumi roll her eyes but Saionji relaxed a little.
“Can I draw somewhere else, then ?” the light in her eyes was back.
“Uh… “
“I’m back Hinata !” Sonia claimed, entering the room, a Tsumiki carrying a bunch of tissues on her heels… which started another fit of anger from Saionji’s end. Oh, how Hinata missed the quietness of the previous days.
“Thanks Sonia. Tsumiki, did Sonia asked you to come here ?” Hinata asked.
“Ah, I’m sorry for coming !” shrieked Tsumiki, and she was so nervous that she was wringing her hands. “Sonia told me that someone had written over Komaeda, and I have a lot of experience on the matter so I thought I could help, sorry if my help isn’t needed !”
“No, it’s fine….” Hinata started.
“Yes, it’s amazing !” Saionji clapped her hands, her mood swings giving Hinata a headache. “No one cares about you, filthy pig, so I can use my markers on you, right big bro ?”
“Hum…”
Mikan was almost sobbing but she didn’t move and when Saionji walked closer, she started to roll her cuff to let her do whatever she wanted on her arms.
“No one is writing on anyone, Saionji, this is not the behaviour of a nice woman !” Sonia said, offended.
“But the bitch said I could ?” the other one replied. Which wasn’t factually true.
Suddenly, Koizumi, who had been unusually quiet the whole time, busy with her sewing, stood up triumphantly, and spread Komaeda’s jacket in front of her.
“Here it is, I’m done, what do you think ?”
“This is amazing Mahiru !” Saionji decided, forgetting about Tsumiki for a few seconds. “It’s way too much for that guy, he better be happy when he wakes up or I’ll punch him !”
Koizumi hummed in agreement and gave the jacket to Hinata who decided to wait a little before taking care of the wires and the captors - he could do that when the room wasn’t such battlefield.
“Also” Koizumi said “While I can understand that what Hiyoko did on his face isn’t great for you Hinata, I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad idea ? You could try to draw or write something nice on his arm, what do you think ? It’s better than a card !”
Saionji brightened up and almost-jumped near Hinata. She seemed deep in thought about what she was supposed to do with this landscape of freedom. Hinata glared at Koizumi, but she shrugged, and he decided that some doodles on his arm wouldn’t hurt him that much. If it was something crass or humiliating, he would clean them up later.
“Alright, do whatever you want as long as it’s not in the way of my work. Tsumiki, can you give me the wipes ?”
“Yes Hinata !” she chirped.
They spent twenty minutes to clean up Komaeda’s face. They really tried to be careful with his already-fragile skin, and to avoid any irritation. Tsumiki was almost even gentler with him, focused on the work she had to do. At some point, Saionji started to draw something on Komaeda’s arm, near his wrist, but she was quiet and not a bother, and that was all he asked of her.
“There” Tsumiki said, a genuine smile on her face once she was done with her eyelids. Hinata used a last wipe to be sure that there was nothing on his lips anymore - and despite how careful he had been, Komaeda’s lips seemed redder and fuller than they were before and he was trying really hard to not look at them because it would be way too weird.
“Thank you Tsumiki, you really know your stuff” he said, and smiled when he saw the nurse falls apart in a mess of blushing cheeks and stutters.
“I’m done too, is it great ?” Saionji said, and Hinata was surprised to see that she had only drew on a very little portion of his skin.
“What is this ?” Sonia asked, curious. “It looks like the animal we have in Novoselic, it’s a car…”
“It’s a pineapple, you idiot !” the other bit back. And Hinata could definitely see how it could be a pineapple indeed.
“That’s… hum… very cute” he said.
“Yeah, well, I tried to think about what this guy would like, you know ? And pine means ‘hope’ so I thought it was the best ( she frowned ). It also means pity because he is fucked up in the head, you know. And he isn’t as pretty as me, so I pity him. He is still prettier than the pig bark just there, so maybe I should draw a pineapple on her inst…”
“A symbol of hope ? That’s really considerate, Hiyoko ! I’m sure Nagito will be delighted to see that when he wakes up” Sonia smiled at her with such positive vibes that Hinata saw the confusion in the other girl.
“It’s just a pineapple” she mumbled. “It’s not that great, I just like it.”
“My turn !” Koizumi said.
She took the marker from Saionji and started to write something on Komaeda’s arm, just under the pineapple. After a few seconds, Hinata was able to read : “GET WELL SOON !”. She smiled sheepishly at Hinata.
“It’s not very original, but I don’t have the best imagination, sorry.”
“That’s fine” Hinata decided that maybe he didn’t have to take it off. He would run some tests to be sure that Komaeda wasn’t allergic to the marker, but it seemed… nice. Weirdly nice, even, toward a guy no one really liked amongst their group. He wouldn’t have thought that Saionji or Koizumi would be so caring.
“Oh !” Sonia said “I have an idea too !”
She took the marker and started to work on his drawing too. She was really focused, but the final product looked like the unnatural offspring of a bird and a bicycle.
“This a carlion !” she said. “In my country, this is known to bring happiness and love to the person who own them. They have been hunted for decades and they almost disappeared, but our compassionate government stood up and decided to protect them !”
“That’s great Sonia” Koizumi said. “Tsumiki, your turn ! I’m going to call the others, to see if they want to add something too !”
And she left the room while Tsumiki was desperately looking for something to draw on Komaeda’s arm.
Two hours later, the ‘Wake up’ room, usually so calm and soothing, was filled with fourteen very-much-living people, all of them having accepted Koizumi’s suggestion to come here and let a message on Komaeda’s arm.
Some of them were really simple ( Tsumiki had drawn a star and a band aid, The Imposter had just written ‘I hope to see you soon’ on one of his finger ), some really complicated ( Kazuichi complained for half-an-hour, not wanting to do anything nice for Komaeda and ended up spending twenty minutes drawing a dinosaur, Tanaka wrote a line of weird symbols and explained they were ancient language, used to cure any magic sickness ). Some were really small ( Pekoyama traced the two kanjis for ‘courage’, Kuzuryu added ‘endurance’ next to them ), some ridiculously long ( they had to stop Mioda to copy an entire song of her and she settled for the chorus ).
The whole time Hinata stayed by Komaeda’s pod, watching his arm being decorated by his friends. None of them left the room once they were done, they just settled somewhere in the room, talking between them, laughing, and waiting for everyone to be done with it.
Around 1PM, Owari finally stood up.
“Hey, it’s getting super late, and I’m not a weakling like you, I need food for my muscles” she claimed.
They all decided to follow her to the cafeteria, but Hinata told them that he still needed to check Komaeda’s vitals and that he would come later.
Once they were all gone, Hinata stood there, in the empty room, alone if not for his comatose friend. In his hand, the marker was burning him. He was… supposed to write something, right ? It was expected of him ?
He played with the marker, unsure. He had a lot of thing he wanted to say, but all them would need to wait for him to wake up. And it was fine, he could do it, he could wait. He breathed deeply and took Komaeda’s arm.
“We miss you, please come back”
That was really something he hoped Komaeda would understand without reading this little graffiti. But just in case, he didn’t want to miss a chance. And if needed he would re-write it everyday, again and again, until the message was so deep into his skin that he could never run away from it.
We miss you, please come back.