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Aaryn was a twenty-one year old werewolf living in Beacon Hills, California. Her name at birth was Isaac Aaron Lahey, so when she came out as transgendered at eighteen, she had decided to derive her new name from her middle name. Aaron had been her uncle on her mother’s side. She vaguely remembered the man before her mother disappeared. She liked him.
She had known that she was a girl from a very young age, but it had been greatly repressed. When she told her mother for the first time, her mother had laughed it off as a childhood fantasy. Her father, however, had watched them speaking with hate in his eyes. She had stopped talking about it pretty fast, the reality of who she was just seething underneath the surface. She hoped that he forgot all about the silly childish notion.
He didn’t. He made casual comments about it, even before his actions became violent. He called his son Isaac ever name in the book. When he started to become violent, she had thought that her gender identity was the reason. It made sense. Her father didn’t want a freaky boy who thought he was a girl. He deserved better. After his wife left, the man had been through enough. When Aaryn was Isaac she felt that she deserved it, because she was never right. Her brother had blamed her too, going off to war because he couldn’t take the stress and strain at home. He looked at his “brother” with the same contempt as their father. They both couldn’t be wrong.
She never imagined coming out as a possibility, until the world blew up around her. Her father died, she was turned into a werewolf and had more power than she could ever imagine. The weakness that had plagued her very existence shattered and she thought that maybe she was past the desire to be a female. Maybe that was just part of a messed-up mind. Too much went on when Isaac was a werewolf. There was not enough time to stop and think about the fact that she was a girl.
She fell in love with Scott when she was seventeen. It was shortly after he saved the world – again. Scott was strong, brave and a true alpha. She immediately fell to his leadership, even adopting him as her unofficial alpha when he transformed into one. She followed him completely, so in love with the boy. He was the leader that the misfit band of werewolves needed and after the fall of the alpha pack, drew them together to face anything that came their way.
She fell in love with him before she came out and he was actually the one who coaxed it out of her. “I’ve always thought I was a girl,” she told him, that first night. She was so embarrassed and so sure that he’d laugh at her, despite how gentle and loving he was. She was afraid that their friendship and the pack bonds they’d built would disappear forever because of her stupid confession.
“You know I love you, yeah?” Scott said, looking her right in the eye. “I think that you deserve, more than anyone else to be happy. I want to help you become as happy as you can be.”
Scott helped her transition slowly. It was a very slow process that took several years. She had a lot of support, not just from Scott, but from the whole pack. Scott talked to her when she was hopeless, or felt like she was crazy. Later, she and Scott would start dating. When asked if he was okay with dating a girl who “wasn’t real” in her unadjusted mind, Scott had shaken his head and said, “You are as real as a girl gets, Aaryn.”
The others helped so much, as well. Stiles did a ton of research on transgender resources and helped her find words to describe what she was going through. Allison spent time with her when she needed to get away from all of the madness and just be with a good friend. Lydia, sweet Lydia, decided that if Aaryn was going to be a girl than she was going to be an insanely fashionable one. She spent months using Aaryn as her own personal doll. Aaryn didn’t mind either. She felt beautiful.
Now she was twenty-one. She had been living completely as a girl for two and a half years and she was proud of the progress she had made. She was comfortable as the woman she was and she was at last who she wanted to be. There were, however, a few reservations. Surgeries weren’t for everyone, but now that she was a grown woman, she was starting to desire them.
She knew, however, that this was probably not possible. “Do you think that it’s possible?” she asked Derek shyly. She knew that the chances of it being a possibility were small, but she had to hold out a little hope.
Derek looked at her with a sad expression on his face. “I, I…I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I know that removing limbs, parts, is a possibility for us, but I don’t think that reconstructive surgeries would ever take. I mean, your body would heal almost immediately after any incision. We can go talk to someone and find out. Peter’s gotten in contact with some of my mom’s friends on the east coast in the last couple of years.”
“Thanks,” she murmured thoughtfully. “I know it’s probably not possible, with the healing and stuff. I just thought I’d ask.”
Derek reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. She smiled. She and Derek had an up and down relationship. He had turned her, but Scott was her alpha now. She still trusted and respected him greatly as part of her pack. “You gonna be okay?” Derek asked.
“Yeah.”
That night, she told Scott about her conversation with Derek. He’d known that she was thinking about it for some time, but never talked about it, because he too knew the truth. “I’m sorry,” Scott said, looking truly helpless. He was a hero, but this was something he couldn’t help her with. It didn’t sit quite well with her wonderful boyfriend; she could tell.
“Don’t be sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “I just wish that I could have a chance to have the body I want too, you know?”
“I totally understand,” Scott said. “You deserve it.”
“I love you and I love being a girl the way I have for years now,” she murmured, hugging him and leaning against his shoulder. “I’m just sad.”
He didn’t say it wasn’t okay to be. He was very wise, her Scott. He just held her tightly and let her deal with the emotions coursing through her. She would be okay, even if her physical body was never going to match her soul. It was saddening and it would take a long time to get past this, but she’d get past it like she had everything else. “This is hard…” she whispered.
“I can’t even imagine,” Scott murmured. “I’m sorry. I love you so much.”
That made her smile a little, despite the pain. Her life might not ever be exactly what she wanted it to be, but she’d come a long way and had the best support system possible. “Love you too Scott,” she whispered. Aaryn would be okay.