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“Yuuri.”
The name is softly called. Eloquent, like the breeze through the blossoms. Gentle enough not to knock the petals free of their precarious perches. Clean as a blade gleaming across the ice.
Yuuri would appreciate something blunter. “What.”
It is not a question, so it does not warrant the inflection. He is sometimes mean to Viktor. It might cause Viktor to be mean, back.
But again, the Russian is painfully kind. He always is. “You must be relieved. That was a very tense discussion.”
“It needed to happen,” Yuuri murmurs.
“That it did,” agrees the Russian. “But you took it upon yourself to have it, and I think you did wonderfully.”
“Of course I did,” the Japanese man replies. “I am in charge of making sure these things don’t escalate.” He eyes his companion sidelong. They are finally alone.
“You must be relieved,” repeats Viktor.
“What are you doing?” Yuuri demands.
That Viktor raises his brows and looks innocently at his boss only makes Yuuri more suspicious. “Would you like to know, Yuuri?”
“I would.”
The smile becomes thin, and Yuuri’s learned to brace himself when the other man does as much. “You used to be more emotional.”
“Pardon?”
“You used to be more emotional,” Viktor says again, slower. He has his hands laced behind him. “I spoke with your mother.”
“What?! Why?”
“And your sister,” continues Viktor. “I met with the Nishigoris, and your former coach. They all said you were very open to your feelings. You’d cry over little things. You were quite sensitive.”
Yuuri stares, his mouth dropping open. His belly sinks.
Viktor turns away from the view and eyes Yuuri curiously. “It’s okay, you know.”
“What the hell?”
“You hardly emote anything anymore. It’s not healthy.”
“What is it to you!” Yuuri hisses. “I...I can’t afford to go crying. We just...right now. We just had a thing. How do you think it would have gone if I started blubbering over Old Man Sisko threatening to blackmail the family. The town! I have a lot riding on us. On things going well. I can’t fall apart each time there’s a problem. Why would you think I would do that?”
“I don’t think you do,” Viktor corrects. “You are very good with balancing the needs of the town. There’s a lot that you juggle. You make a lot of hard decisions. But you never deal with the stress.”
“It’s never safe to deal with the stress,” snaps Yuuri.
“On the contrary, it’s safe now. Just the two of us.”
“I’m not going to cry.”
Viktor nods, and the act makes his boss feel even more like a child. “You can admit that you’re relieved, though. I am. I thought we’d have to kill him.”
Yuuri swallows. “We only do that if we can’t find another solution.”
“And you found one, so are you relieved?”
“Yes.”
“Would you like to express that?”
Yuuri waffles. His fists clench. His eyes start to wander. “How?”
“Try a big sigh,” Viktor offers. “Your shoulders are tense. Maybe tell me how you really feel.”
“I’m not paying you to be my psychiatrist.”
“Do you have any on the payroll? I think it would be good for--”
Viktor doubles over as his scarf is snagged. Yuuri pulls the other down to his level. “ Stop .”
“No.”
“You can’t say no.”
“I did. I do that,” Viktor shrugs. “And if you want, I’ll put my arms around you. And you can be free to not cry in a safe embrace.”
“What is with you?” Yuuri growls.
Viktor lays his chin on his boss’ shoulder. “I am not the only one here who thinks you are incredibly strong. Your mother worries about you. Your father wishes he could do a fraction of the things you are good at so you won’t have as much to manage. Yuuko begged me to make sure you’re getting what you need. No one thinks you’re weak. They miss the parts of you you’re suffocating in order to look strong. Let us take on some of that burden, Yuuri. It’s okay to be expressive. It’s who you are.”
“I don’t want to cry in front of you.”
Viktor has to strain to hear that. It is whispered, and broken up. “That is why I’ll hug you. Then I won’t see.”
Yuuri snorts. “It’s the same, though.”
As tears are already glinting, Viktor makes good on his promise by tugging the other into his arms. “I see nothing.”
“Sh...shut up,” sniffles the other. “I hope I get snot on your clothes.”
“I’d have to take them off, then.”
Viktor laughs when he feels Yuuri stiffen.
Then a gloved hand reaches up to cling to the scarf. Not tight enough to jerk it, but the touch reiterates contact. Control. “I...am relieved.”
“Can you admit that you did a good job?”
A head nods.
“Good. I'm proud of you.”