Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

External channel 🔒#183829-NY26_AWE-POP2 created
Renamed to 🔒#cool-kids-club
SC-P6-PCP-Faden joined the channel

SUP-SFA-8170AHNY-ZDeVera: testttt
SUP-SFA-8170AHNY-ZDeVera: oh my god I forgot they use official handles in new channels
Ew gross ew ew
Hang on

SUP-SFA-8170AHNY-ZDeVera changed to Zed.

Zed: better

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Why did you name yourself 'Z' or 'zero'?

Zed: it's objectively cooler than my full government name. which is the whole point of a chatroom/server/being online - I know you don't know this, so I'm telling you how these things work okay?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: And I should believe you?

Zed: You doubt me? You doubt Miette?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Who's Miette???

Zed: man
firstly, I forgot how nice it was to operate outside the House/during an active AWE - I can recite memes all day
secondly, we have so much work to do
but! not before you change your name
you can't be out here with 'PCP' in your handle christ what was IT thinking

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Does it mean something bad?

Zed: juuuust choose an alternative name that's not your legal name pls

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Can I think about it?

Zed: sigh
yeah
take your time! it's just me and you in here anyway so there's no pressure

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Thanks Zoe

External channel - 🔒#eternal-ot-bros

Zed: I'm going to explode

perk3l3: talking with Faden again?

janitor-clone-89: ???

Zed: yeah

janitor-clone-89: ?????!!
How could you guess that??

perk3l3: bc we have a bond Michaels
You wouldn't understand

janitor-clone-89: rub it in why don't you

perk3l3: i will at every given opportunity

Zed: he just doesn't know anything about modern culture at all. It fucks with me.
oh god. Wait.
Oh fuck oh no.
HANG ON

janitor-clone-89: ??!!??!?!?!???

External channel - 🔒#cool-kids-club

Zed: Dylan!
On pain of extreme inconvenience and potential social suicide: do NOT create any socials without me present!! I don't care if our internet is a patterned archive of the original, every FBC employee who had a life will still be on it, and we can't have you setting any of those accounts up unassisted.

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Socials?

Zed: Online presence stuff. Instagram, X, Facebook, Bluesky, Tiktok, Tinder, Grindr, etc

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I thought I wasn't technically allowed to have an official identity on the internet?

Zed: You're a contractor now! A free agent! You can do whatever you want! (besides all that NDA shit but you know that)

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Hang on I need to look up what those things are.
Oh
Well I don't really feel like being observed ever again, so it'll be a while before I do anything like that. Why is it dangerous for me to do that without you?

Zed: let us just say that the internet is a hive of scum and villainy but it is also where my teenage self escaped to when things got bad at home - and away from home
it's hard to explain
but it's better if I'm there so you can avoid any faux pas
… I have many feelings about the internet and not all of them are positive

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Okay. You could have just said that.

Zed: I just didn't want you stepping in it and accidentally ruining your life

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: …Do you mean ruining my life any further?

Zed: GDI
your ONLINE life
your real life is already off the rails enough

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Thanks
What does 'GDI' stand for?

Zed: you're killing me faden

External channel - 🔒#eternal-ot-bros

Zed: prevented disaster
all is well

janitor-clone-89: will you ever explain yourself properly?

perk3l3: you haven't known her very long. the answer is never.

XiShenli: Zoe - do you really need to baby Faden like this? How much could he not know?

perk3l3: did you read the docs Pope declassified?
bc that will answer your question

XiShenli: The FBC declassified something? Willingly?

perk3l3: I wouldn't say willingly…but it was good they did. Didn't make a production out of it, but if you go looking, at least some of them are there to read. I think Pope wanted to make sure she wasn't questioned on the matter of giving him a new official position. And you know. His real identity back. Papers and all that.

XiShenli: Apologies, I hadn't known about that. I'll read them first. 'P6' sounded like a paracriminal, and I missed all of your gossip while the AWE kicked off

Zed: fortify yourself Xi - I sure didn't get the chance before I got the speed-walking tour of Dylan's oh so delightful childhood

XiShenli: I'm alarmed you would feel the need to warn me, someone in Research.

Zed: Did you get to meet Dr. Casper Darling when you were hired on?

XiShenli: I was recruited right before lock-down so I don't know Dr. Darling all that well.

janitor-clone-89: good

perk3l3: good

Zed: not missing much, apparently.

perk3l3: you familiar with Dr. Underhill before she deserted?
Ranger Busken's ward?

XiShenli: she was more or less my primary
Oh
I see

Zed: then I trust you to know what I mean

External channel - 🔒#cool-kids-club

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Hey Zoe?
Do you happen to have the songs you played for me before? Like their names and the artists?
I meant to ask earlier, but we've been busy.

-

Zed: oh shit yes! Of course! You really liked them?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I really liked them

Zed: knew you were a man of taste Dylan
I can make you a CD - I actually looked up how to do that. Just for you. Be grateful.

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I am grateful

-

Zed: anyone tell you you're a little too earnest sometimes?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: not really?

Zed: huh. wild.
anyway, its better than signing up for spotify or whatever streaming service - you can open it now that you have a phone and a laptop.

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Streaming? Like Netflix but for music?

Zed: the fuck?
How do you know about streaming services??

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Ruboneka - head of Ops? And Security too, I guess. He was talking about shows his kids watch, mentioned Hulu and Netflix and explained it to me a bit
There's a lot of stuff I haven't seen so I've been avoiding the whole thing, besides those I remember from before I left Ordinary. I don't really know where to start.

Zed: hang on a sec

External channel - 🔒#eternal-ot-bros

Zed: CODE YELLOW
FADEN NEEDS MOVIE AND SHOW RECS
AND MUSIC??
GAMES TOO BC I DON'T PLAY SHIT

perk3l3: you're not normal about him at all girl

Zed: shut the fuuuuck up lumiiiii I have more authority than ever to abuse with
I can inflict fridge duty

perk3l3: oh did no one tell you? The Director fixed the fridge.

Zed: stfu fr??

janitor-clone-89: oh I didn't know that either

Zed: well shit
good for her! but now I need a new death threat
at least it worked on idiots

perk3l3: don't worry - look outside for inspiration

Zed: fuck lmao

-

janitor-clone-89: also I can help just give me five
I have a misbehaving lightbulb I need to talk off the ledge

perk3l3: godspeed michaels
don't get psychic damage

janitor-clone-89: way too late for that my friend

XiShenli: hm. Does he like to read?

Zed: ☝️moment

External channel - 🔒#cool-kids-club

Zed: hey do you like books? Reading? Audio books?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Yes I do - I mostly read nonfiction work when I wasn't in confinement.

Zed: Biographies? History?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: More like training material, SOP manuals. Reports. Some stuff from the Archives. When I had a bit more leeway I read some of the correspondence from Dead Letters.

Zed: I am already regretting asking this but did they let you have fun? At all?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I think they tried to make a reward system for me, more than once. They kept asking if I wanted to try new smells or read sheet music when I did well in training. I said yes to everything; there wasn't much to entertain myself otherwise. But nothing came of it. Apparently it was more for the House than because of me, at least, that's what Dr. Darling said.

Zed: I'm gonna need several years to process that

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Tell me about it

External channel - 🔒#eternal-ot-bros

Zed: Confirmed books good
Literally anything
I remember he said he liked 'threshold kids' idek what that is but apparently he got to watch it when he first came here, some kind of puppet show
Now that I think about it, sounds like something the FBC made special for him. with the name and all
man
I need a drink

perk3l3: that was fast

Zed: landmines in every convo istg

XiShenli: I would like to recommend Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro or Among Others by Jo Walton then. Considering everything, I think it would resonate with him. Just a supposition on my part, of course.

Zed: thank fuck you're here I don't read much yes shut up I know Xi don't remind me
Also someone invite Head of Operations Ruboneka to this chat or make a new one I'm too fucked up rn

XiShenli: A department head? Are you sure?

Zed: he was a CLO like five minutes ago he's chill
and he was a close friend of Arish - one who seems to talk to Dylan of his own volition

perk3l3: oho
also if I didn't have the second to worst shift assignment on the roster I'd at least say hi in person
least any of us can do after the ass-pull both him and the director did to keep us and the world from fractaling into oblivion

Channel name changed to 🔒#dylan-faden-support-group

Zed: okay lumi okay. okay lumi. Lumi okay. OKAY.

perk3l3: I am a person of integrity. I am compelled by the truth

janitor-clone-89: I leave for thirty mins (I timed it this time! It only FELT like two days - or was two days, somewhere else) and the channel's renamed?

perk3l3: you lived!
And yes. I have a feeling this new name's gonna stick around for a while
get your bunks in order I'm inviting Ruboneka
and zoe ask your boy what he won't be comfortable with - don't want to upset him by accident

janitor-clone-89: any more than we already have

Zed: shit right yes brb

External channel - 🔒#cool-kids-club

Zed: soooo not to be blunt

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Zoe, it's never stopped you before

Zed: …right
okay
then
How do I put this - is there anything that would bother you to watch or read? Or hear?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Bother me?

Zed: badly. Like really, really piss you off. Or upset you.

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I don't know. A lot of things that are normal to me are apparently pretty terrible to everyone else.

Zed: hmu (which means hit me up, btw (which means by the way)) anyway - whatever it is, it's worth noting

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: oh okay
let me think

-

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Talking about isolation isn't really fun for me. In passing its fine, but I don't need any details, if that makes sense.

Zed: nothing else you can think of?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I don't like it when animals get hurt by people, I think.

Zed: you think?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Just imagining it bothers me. It always has.

Zed: good enough!

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Not sure about anything else.

Zed: you know what let me link you something

External channel - 🔒#dylan-faden-support-group

Zed: just sent him a thing psych sent all of us when the evac started that talked about civilian treatment and rescue. how do you even ask about it otherwise. I am NOT a THERAPIST what am I DOING

XiShenli: perhaps it is because you are not a therapist? I think this was the right thing to do without being any more invasive than you - we, I suppose - already are

perk3l3: could be worse. you could just assume things based on his file and trust everyone to have been objective writing those.

Zed: right.
ha ha
yeah

perk3l3: hang in there
Ruboneka said he'd join in a few; he's in a meeting but he appreciated the invite and says he has a few people who might like to help once he runs it by you

Zed: at this rate we should have just made a new channel

XiShenli: actually I think it's rather nice to grow it out a bit. No one else I know has done anything like it, besides the some of the ongoing threads in the official channels. It's all private friend groups, like this one started as. But you invited me on a whim Zoe, and it's been good to talk in here. It helps me feel grounded.

Zed: 😭 xi… i'm suckin up the tear I nearly shed

XiShenli: lol it is fine Zoe, keep being a stone cold badass, as Michaels calls you, I won't judge either way

External channel - 🔒#cool-kids-club

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Okay I read through the list. FBC therapists haven't changed much over the years.

Zed: I'm shocked (I'm not shocked)

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I think everything else is fine. I haven't had to read about any of it as fiction before, so its hard to say.

Zed: I'm a little sorry for asking
just don't wanna do any harm by accident and didn't want to assume. babying you of all people, especially after everything, feels a little stupid

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: It's nice to be asked, if that's what you're worried about.

External channel - 🔒#dylan-faden-support-group

Zed: Alright no extended POVs about being isolated and no humans abusing animals. He'll keep me posted.

H-OP-SEC-7399BXNY-Ruboneka joined
H-OP-SEC-7399BXNY-Ruboneka changed to Rube

Rube: well this is a pleasant surprise
Thanks for inviting me

Zed: feels weird to thank you for being decent
but the bar may be in hell or some other dimension

Rube: it is at a great distance from us you're not wrong

XiShenli: welcome

perk3l3: ✌️

janitor-clone-89: hi sir, how's the new position treating you?

Rube: like an ill-fitting suit, but time marches ever onward. I hear we are providing media recommendations? Do we know what he likes at all?

Zed: previously mentioned something called Threshold Kids which we're p sure FBC made specifically for him when he was like. An actual kid.

Rube: have you found any episodes in archives?

Zed: might take a while before that happens, and I ain't askin Pope for anything rn. also liked Severed Circle II, some old school game
alas I know dick about video games

Rube: might recommend one of my kids' favorite shows; I meant to bring it up last time. Hoping he doesn't take it the wrong way - I genuinely enjoyed watching it myself

janitor-clone-89: which one?

Rube: Gravity Falls

janitor-clone-89: didn't we investigate Roadkill County after that show debuted? I swear I heard there was a team sent out just in case

perk3l3: yeah I only heard about Bright Falls from a friend of a friend who wasn't supposed to tell me about it, never heard of the other

Zed: idk anything about either, so I'll take the rec thank you Ruboneka, sir

janitor-clone-89: someone get him My Chemical Romance albums stat

Zed: on it

perk3l3: perhaps Everything Everywhere All At Once

XiShenli: that one made me cry and I never cry…seconding that one

Zed: alright okay I set up a spreadsheet here just fill it out with your favorite media by tab and I'll send it his way when there's more listed

perk3l3: you're so dedicated. Its cute

Zed: I know where you're posted Lumi. I'll come to your house.

External channel - 🔒#cool-kids-club

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Hey Zoe - do you have any dog food? Or know where to get some?

Zed: owo
what

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: and would it be okay to take it by Research to make sure it isn't patterned? I mean. I'm not sure it matters at this point, but just in case.

Zed: hold up
using my very well honed powers of deduction here, but did you somehow acquire a whole ass dog?
It cannot possibly be your average corgi not in this hot mess
Please tell me you didn't adopt a paranatural pet

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I did not adopt a paranatural pet

Zed: Dylan
so help me
are you pulling a Langston

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Alfie isn't that bad.

Zed: that's the nicest thing I've ever heard anyone say about that monster
Legends have been told about that little shit

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Alfred the cat is a normal cat. He's just picky about things - like plants. And the Hiss. Like any cat. Probably.

Zed: i'm being so nicies right now and not calling you out on knowing anything about what normal pets are like on god I've seen it teleport, you can't fool me
Now stop avoiding the question

-

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: okay. I didn't adopt a pet. She kind of adopted me

[honey.jpg]

she was on her own, so I thought it would be alright. I think her owner was someone who got evac'd.

Zed: oh no

External channel - 🔒#dylan-faden-support-group

Zed: he has a dog
I repeat he has a dog
have any of you had a pet before?
please someone anyone I am horrible with pets and animals they can smell my fear

XiShenli: 👀 How? Where? When??

perk3l3: what's their name I must know

janitor-clone-89: DOG?? DOG WHERE

Rube: Oh I know where to get some food and toys if needed

Zed: we are not locking in like I'd hoped we would chat
@XiShenli for the moment - and I know you're thinking it, don't lie - let's NOT try to get a sample

XiShenli: … I will abstain from asking permission. For now.

Zed: maybe let Pope ask instead
also @perk3l3 her name is apparently Honey
now can someone help out here I do not do pets

Rube: we have a cat, not a dog, but I'd be happy to help make a threat assessment on the sly
you can also invite Langston and Dr. Maria Florez to the channel for advice.
Langston has his cat. Or his cat has him, I'm not sure. And he's known about Dylan for a lot longer than most of us have, which I was not aware of. Apparently Dr. Darling didn't let him interact with many people.

Zed: understatement!!!!

Rube: And I don't know about Maria's experience with pets or animals in general, but she has been extremely vocal about Dylan's situation, before and after he became a real boy again
Always in his defense, to be precise
She may also try to start a union

Zed: !!
stop stop I'm already a little in love with her
invite her in by all means
I don't know if I've ever seen Langston chime in on any channel

XiShenli: well besides the lockdown period - he was, and is, active in #hobby-lobby
talks about beat poetry and laments that no one in the FBC admits to playing ttrpgs

Zed: xi. how do you know this

XiShenli: I am also active in #hobby-lobby

janitor-clone-89: what are ttrpgs?

XiShenli: tabletop roleplaying games

Zed: you answered that too quickly xi

XiShenli: zoe I've never not been as I am. I don't know what else to say. 😔

perk3l3: dungeons & dragons! pathfinder! cyberpunk! So many systems to choose from. I had no idea Frederick Langston was an avid player

XiShenli: apparently he ran a lot of the morale-improvement workshops during lockdown. TTRPGs were deemed … unsafe in the Oldest House. For many reasons.

Rube: oh I'll add the Dungeons & Dragons movie - the second one - to the list as well; some of the rangers and I saw it when it came out and we loved it

Zed: …this is deep nerd territory

perk3l3: you should play it sometime zoe it's a treat

XiShenli: yes zoe :) join us zoe :)

janitor-clone-89: I've literally never heard of these games before today so I'm curious
anything to alleviate the boredom and morale drain

Zed: …we are so far off-topic - but okay! Okay I guess invite both of them! Who knows!

External channel - 🔒#cool-kids-club

Zed: heyyyy so where is this dog of yours located anyway?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: She likes to stay at the apartment these days, usually. Why do you ask?

Zed: um. don't be mad, but I did let it slip to Ruboneka that you have a dog and he wants to meet her

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Why would I be mad?

Zed: it was something you barely even told me - I thought maybe you'd feel some kind of way about that being shared without me asking you first

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Oh

Zed: :)))) oh?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I sort of thought that most of what I tell you was going into my file anyway. Is that not true?

Zed: oh hell no
for one thing, that's more paperwork than I will ever want or need in my life again
for another, no it's not true. maybe it was when we first started out, but shit is different now for sure. Legally even! And if it isn't and I find out, I'm lighting stuff on fire. I'll light everything on fire.

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I'm not sure what to say to that
But thank you Zoe. That's really nice of you.

Zed: I am not nice!! I am a stone cold badass! Pragmatic even!

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Yes, of course. Whatever you say.

Zed: thank you

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: …what if I changed my mind about Ruboneka being allowed to know?

Zed: then I'll apologize, and make it up to you with a hot dog if you let me. like friends do.

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: … did you really find hot dogs?

Zed: it was supposed to be a surprise, but yes. Rube's teams found a whole refrigerated warehouse that was untouched by the patterning somewhere in the Western Incursion zone. It was floating above the road by itself, and still is. Honestly it looks like it popped back into place on its own, possibly bc of the world knitting itself back together. Research can ask all the questions they want, don't know, don't care. We can make food again! Real food!!! if I find eggplant in there i'm going to make tortang talong and i WILL cry into the pan

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Rube?

Zed: sorry - Ruboneka goes by that in another channel haha

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: tortang talong?

Zed: lmao sry - kind of an eggplant omelet? Filipino dish. its so good.

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: 'lmao' ??

Zed: i'm gonna mcfuckin lose it

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: just kidding I know what that one means

External channel - 🔒#dylan-faden-support-group

MED-MD-AWENY26-MFlorez joined
MED-MD-AWENY26-MFlorez changed to Maria

Maria: oh this is just like Slack but to the left, that's fascinating

Zed: hello Dr. Florez! I'm sorry we haven't had a chance to meet irl; I've only heard great things

Maria: likewise; was this channel really made for Dylan?

Zed: not really, but it turned into a whole thing - so … kind of?

Maria: that's very sweet
I've heard and read some very concerning things about Dylan's relationship with the FBC

Zed: Yeah we're all very lucky he didn't decide to fuck off the moment he saw an open door

Maria: that's perhaps an understatement

Rube: Hello Maria

Maria: Ruboneka it is good to hear from you; I know how busy you are

Rube: Back at you doc

Zed: the media list is pinned if you want to add anything

Maria: Any documentaries yet?

Zed: not yet
lwk I'm kind of eyeing this list myself like damn
@XiShenli - DOUDOU is a bop all around? You've been holdin out on me

XiShenli: they are extraordinary
忘记了也没关系 means that 'forgetting is okay too' - I attached a translation, just because I didn't see Chinese as a listed language in his files.
They have helped me through some of the worst days of this AWE
If I may be vulnerable

janitor-clone-89: hi dr. florez welcome welcome

perk3l3: @XiShenli I think we are past judgment on how we stayed sane
And hello @Maria

Maria: nice to see people responding appropriately to this whole thing

perk3l3: official bylines are that we aren't ruffled in the slightest
but just know we are all screaming into a pillow every five minutes, mentally

XiShenli: Dr. Florez it's genuinely a delight to meet you. I'd love to pick your brain on your mold patients when you have a spare afternoon.

Maria: of course
do we know if Dylan knows how to cook at all? I didn't want to presume

Zed: hold pls

External channel - 🔒#cool-kids-club

Zed: hey dylan you ever learn how to cook?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: sure

Zed: really?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: You don't have to sound so surprised

Zed: how can you possibly know what my thoughts sound like
wait don't answer that

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I can't hear what your thoughts sound like

Zed: okay. cool! Good To Know
but anyway just curious - what kinds of stuff did you learn how to make?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I had plenty of practice making simple dishes back in Ordinary
mac n cheese with hot dogs or vienna sausage
Canned soup was easiest
Spaghetti with gravy
omelets were really easy
anything with eggs really
cookies

Zed: ahuh

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I feel like your face is doing that thing with the eyebrows

Zed: are you sure you can't hear what my thoughts sound like

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I don't need to to know that you're skeptical of my skills as a cook

Zed: fair and alas, true
any other culinary delights you know how to put together?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Jesse made a dish she called Dump Stew that I also learned how to make because I watched her do it every time.

Zed: my hopes are dwindling over here

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I know it sounds terrible, but it was really good! Even our dad ate it sometimes.

Zed: you know what, send me the recipe - I'll judge from my tower then.

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: You'd like it, I swear.

External channel - 🔒#dylan-faden-support-group

Zed: gonna have to report that's a hard maybe
he says he does, but I am hearing tales of mac n cheese with diced hot dogs and canned soup
and something his sister created that might have been an affront to gods and man
unforch, his training didn't exactly have home ec

Rube: honestly a huge miss that it's not a core curriculum class in high school anymore

Maria: can we add recipes as a tab to the spreadsheet?

Zed: omg
genius level thinking over here - yes please add it and then add to it; I'll hop on that shortly

janitor-clone-89: getting him my gramma's hot dish recipe stat

perk3l3: pirogi - just any kind of pirogi. and karelian pie yes yes

XiShenli: if I don't tell him how to make my family mapo tofu recipe, I will be dishonoring my ancestors in a real way

Rube: Dirty rice and gumbo - my dad was from New Orleans and if I didn't know how to make at least one of those I'd be disowned

Maria: my great grandmother's pozole recipe - certain things must be kept alive

Zed: 🥲 guys you're killing me with kindness over here

Maria: it is truly the least we can do for Dylan, Zoe. The man saved more than just our lives; I will never forget it.

Rube: what she said.
Also do you know where he actually lives now? I heard about an apartment from Langston in passing, but never got confirmation
and it was something he got after Pope declared him a contractor so it's not accessible through the usual channels

Zed: oh haha. Well
you're gonna laugh

External channel - 🔒#cool-kids-club

Zed: so speaking of permissions and boundaries and whatever
Is it cool if Ruboneka knows where you live?
and remember what I mentioned before, about being a contractor and how it's different now? he can't just ask about your home address and get an answer. Not that he's the type to do that, but hey - he confirmed he can't
So it's up to you

-

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I’m sorry for not responding sooner, I was in the middle of something.

Zed: chill chill, all good this is us, chatting, not work

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I guess he can, sure
It's not like he can get to it, now that I think about it

Zed: lol yeah that's kinda what I thought too

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: hope that's okay

Zed: YES. IT IS OKAY.

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: is that just you text-yelling at me because I said something stupid?

Zed: YEP.

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: thanks 😔

Zed: (nice emoji usage, gold star)

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: not sure how to feel about that, but thanks again

External channel - 🔒#dylan-faden-support-group

Zed: @Rube I'll DM you

Rube: 👍

External channel - 🔒#dylan-faden-support-group

Maria: The FBC has forms for forms and forms for those forms
I will die of old age before these requests are approved and my patients might die sooner than that
How anyone gets anything done here is truly a mystery
And I worked at Bethesda

Zed: welcome to hell!!! this is how it's been since I've been employed I'm so sorry, genuinely
@Rube @perk3l3 any loopholes you know about that could help?

Rube: I am loathe to ask Pope for anything right now

Zed: same

Rube: but she would be your best bet for an expedite

Maria: An expedite would only bog down the expedite list - I know how escalations work

Rube: accurate and relevant unfortunately, you're not wrong

perk3l3: we lost a lot of the old guard during and after the lockdown. I know many middle-men (and women, and etc) who are MIA or deceased. Lots of knowledge base eroded.

Zed: shit

XiShenli: I can confirm this. Too many leads were lost, and a lot of the employees (lifers) I did know who knew the regs are gone.

janitor-clone-89: man don't get me fuckin started
The maintenance department is just me and four other people who didn't desert - and all of them were on shift during lockdown in the Oldest House
we don't even have time to hallucinate resources

perk3l3: I think Comms is down to two interns and one assistant lead

Rube: In fairness we don't know if there are more folks corralling FBC resources and intel past the barrier, but it is quite bleak either way

perk3l3: personally, I don't miss the former leadership. Trench and Darling and their lot. True they ran a tight ship, but it was so tight no one knew what the fuck was going on half the time. And reading the declassified things Pope left lying around, what they did get up to makes me dizzy
Hell they'd find a reason to fire me just for writing that I didn't like them. The Tennyson report really set Trench on fire; and that was a pretty reasonable memo all things considered.

XiShenli: It made some decent points; it's not my purview to handle Altered Items much, but considering all the data from the REs I'm shocked it was buried so thoroughly. Admittedly it was impolitic, but who in Research isn't?

perk3l3: shaking your hand xi

Zed: @Maria man I'm so sorry - you kind of met us at a really, really bad time in our. Everything.

Maria: I'll figure it out, but if you do know someone who can help, it would be appreciated

External channel - 🔒#cool-kids-club

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Hey Zoe - did they clean out the Prime Candidate offices much, do you know?

Zed: ? wouldn't Pope be better to ask?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: She's kinda busy at the moment. Something about test results coming back from the tree in the Underpass.
Ah. You didn't hear that from me.

Zed: I didn't see or hear anything ever
but lemme check

-

Zed: they did some mandatory clean-up and took care of the bodies, otherwise no one's been in there
why do you ask?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I just wondered if any of my other drawings were stuffed into some cabinet somewhere, and if I could go look

Zed: oh!
Yeah I know you said Pope is busy but def just let her know before you go in there, for propriety's sake. And paperwork.

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Because I'm not 'P6' anymore, right?

Zed: right
god
when don't we need to file things
taxes are one thing but the FBC really has made a whole special hell when it comes to paperwork

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Like submitting for exclusive, external party staffing during an AWE, plus OT and hazard pay. Research and Security always had easier paths for that than the other departments, which I thought was unfair. Investigations could have used more flexibility.

Zed: …

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: I can't tell you how often I had to practice form X1-239-A, B, C, and D. Then there was req form 45-FF-2 for Comms. Almost preferred it to the parapsychology sessions though.

Zed: 💀 no way

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: what?

Zed: you know all of that stuff too?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: 'that stuff'?

Zed: all the FBC permission forms?? Request paperwork???

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Well yeah
they were, at one point, training me to become the director. It feels weird and presumptuous to say that now, especially since I wasn't very good at what they wanted. I just never had any authority to use everything I had learned.
You remember that one room nearly overflowing with files in the Prime Candidate offices? That was kind of my library - and the place I practiced all this

Zed:
[lisa-simpson-stare.jpg]
are you kidding me

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: Lisa Simpson…?

Zed: dw about that so you would know how to get a patient case expedited through medical?

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: sure. Depending on if it's for surgery or diagnosis, you need two req forms from Medical to get approved, one from Research if applicable, then one from Security that'll need to be approved by Head of Security after getting approval from the Director. Which just means Emily, at the moment. That last form will need to be signed in triplicate (Medical, Executive, Security) - and Research, again, if applicable. I think I remember all the form numbers.

Zed: holy fuck

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: just explain to me why you sent me a picture of Lisa Simpson and we'll call it even

Zed: I think my brain is melting sure yeah bud I can explain anything to you forever

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: ..you're acting weird

Zed: no way ha ha I'm so normal right now; can you send me the form numbers I'll tell you about the meme in a minute

SC-P6-PCP-DFaden: ..alright

External channel - 🔒#dylan-faden-support-group

Zed: @Maria I FOUND OUR SAVIOR

Maria: ?

Zed: Dylan. Dylan knows all the damn forms. For every kind of request, for every department. He knows which ones to use that'll work. He was trained??? I had no idea????

Maria: Oh that's fantastic news!

Zed: I'll send you everything he sent me in a minute
i feel light-headed

perk3l3: he might just be a beacon of hope for us all

XiShenli: Wait - he really was trained on … bureaucracy?

Zed: i didn't have time to ponder about it, but 'director training' had to include all that shit, and he confirmed it did. unbelievable.

XiShenli: he could solve so many roadblocks if that's true… 🤩

Maria: Just make sure he's billed for his efforts - I don't want free labor from him

Rube: we'll take care of it

janitor-clone-89: maybe he could help with the engineering division's missing duct tape

Rube: you folks don't have any left?

janitor-clone-89: the triple combo mold, Hiss, and resonant AWE kind of wiped out everything really, but there's supposed to be a black rock duct tape generator that's just gone now
we're getting by with masking tape but that won't do shit if it isn't re-applied every day. in fact it barely does anything now but hold two or three things together at once with normal physics

Zed: well he can't materialize shit out of thin air, but I'll just. message a few people and put in contract requests for him to help out with at least submitting reqs

perk3l3: ngl that's incredibly attractive of him

Zed: the euphoria I'm experiencing is not normal. I think we've worked for this fuckin place for too long

perk3l3: 😏

Zed: I said I'd come to your house lumi

perk3l3: bet