Archive of Our Own

Atsumu had RSVP'd months ago, and even sent a congratulations text in the family groupchat to really sell his sincerity. He'd thought he was doing a good job at playing the supportive cousin role, but clearly his intentions meant fuck all in the end.

Standing in the locker room after practice, he held his phone in a daze. His family groupchat shone brightly on his screen, and the text was still there even as he rapidly tried to blink away what must be a hallucination. The rest of the team had already left, but he could hear the sound of a dripping faucet next door. Distantly, he thought that someone should probably turn it off.

His phone continued to buzz. Atsumu shook himself out of it enough to get his bearings and come back to his senses. He pulled his bag out and shut his locker with a clang.

His cousin's wedding was in a week, at a barn back in Hyogo, as cliche as it was. Because the universe enjoyed making Atsumu's life a joke, it had to fall on a week where they didn't have any games. No excuse not to go, and now he'd be spending his holiday back in his hometown with his extended family.

He'd clearly stated that he was not bringing a date, and had even thrown in a good-natured joke about bachelors not being tied down. He was the picture of charm and confidence, a hot young twenty-something that wouldn't sully the family affair with a random fling.

Yet here his aunt was, texting everyone, "Tell your date she needs to fill out an RSVP so we can know if she has any dietary restrictions."

He swiped over the to phone app. Osamu answered on the first ring.

"What did ya do this time?" his voiced crackled through the speaker.

"Shut up, I didn't do anythin'. Did you see the groupchat?" Atsumu paced around the wooden bench in the center of the room, "Auntie is telling me that my date needs to fill out an RSVP. A girl date," he emphasized.

Osamu huffed, "Just say that you're not bringing anyone."

Atsumu stopped, "No, I know she did it on purpose. She's known we're both gay since we we're teenagers, but every chance she gets she asks me about my 'luck with the ladies'. It's worse than the press."

"Yeah, because she's a homophobe with nothin' to do but gossip. I'm bringin' Rin, so she'll have to get over it. You can be a loser and third wheel with us."

Atsumu kicked at the metal leg of the bench. "I'm cooler than both of ya, and I always have been and always will be—" he corrected automatically, "—and I can't let her win."

"That's what a loser would say," Osamu rebuked, "and life's not a competition."

"Right, but if it was, I would be winning because I'm cool and hot and gay and a professional athlete with a successful career and happy life."

"Uh-huh, whatever ya tell yourself" Osamu hummed, before settling into a more serious tone, "so play nice and don't let her get you riled up."

Objectively, Samu was right, but Atsumu had never been called nice before, and he wasn't going to start now.

"Yeah, she won't get to me," he mumbled distractedly as he switched back over to the groupchat, "because I'm going to be so flawless that they can't find anythin' to tear down,"

"Please no. Whatever you're doing, stop now." Osamu pleaded.

"Too late."

He could hear the buzz of the text coming through Osamu's phone. He waited as Osamu read it.

His bark of laughter felt like a bucket of rocks in his gut.

"You're such an idiot, 'Tsumu. Ya really went from going solo to promising to bring a boyfriend? And he's vegetarian?"

He sucked on his teeth, "If I'm going home, I gotta go big. Gotta commit to the bit, or whatever."

Osamu laughed for another ten seconds before trailing off and sighing, "Look, I feel for ya, and we both know she's a piece of shit. So on a real note, I'm sorry." He paused, "But if you think I won't laugh at ya and whatever scrub ya find to bring with ya, you're dead wrong. Good luck figurin' this one out."

Atsumu grinned, "Luck favors the hot and charming, so I don't need yers. I've got it covered." He hung up, and turned his phone on do not disturb as he left and locked up the gym.

It turned out luck did not favor poor planning and last minute decisions.

The most obvious choice was Hinata. With his ball of sunshine energy, he was sure to win over even the most awful of Atsumu's family members. Plus, he was always game to try something new and go along with a hair-brained scheme. But when Atsumu approached him before practice the next day and explained the situation, he had the audacity to look sheepish and say,

"Sorry, I already made plans with Kageyama that weekend since it's the first time in months that our breaks have lined up. I really hope you find someone though." He smiled brightly.

He couldn't begrudge them, but in his heart he did. Just a tiny bit.

The next best choice was Bokuto, as the most loyal bro Atsumu knew. He would put his love for Akaashi on hold to show up for him in his time of need.

During the water break, Atsumu slid over on the bench as Bokuto drank from the squeeze bottles. He only got as far as the date before Bokuto interrupted with,

"Sorry Tsum-tsum, you know I'd love to help, but Akaashi and I are celebrating our anniversary that weekend. It was actually supposed to be last week but Akaashi was working super hard on this really important chapter of the manga he's editing right now, so we decided to move it, and then this weekend…" Atsumu tuned him out as the story spiraled into a tangent on Akaashi's hard work and dedication to his craft.

As a top tier professional athlete in the tightly-knit network that was Japanese men's volleyball, there should have been lots of options. He was a hot commodity, and everyone should have been jumping at the chance to add him to their dating roster, even just for the weekend.

Option by option, the list shrunk. Friends, friends of friends, teammates from years past, and even his one gay neighbor, yet somehow everyone was busy. They had plans, or appointments, or public long-term committed partnerships, or just flat out said no before he started.

He was beginning to think his plan might have been ill-advised.

Thursday evening after practice, and he was once again stalling in the locker room after showering. Friday practice had been canceled on account of no game that weekend, so some people had rushed out to start their weekends early, while others had lingered to chat. Atsumu was always one to indulge, so he was standing in joggers with a towel around his neck, whistling an anxious tune and considering the merits of just hiring a rent-a-boyfriend service.

"Miya, can you shut the fuck up with the whistling."

Atsumu yelped embarrassingly loud and turned bright red, "Good grief, how long have you been there Omi? Warn a guy next time." He looked over at Sakusa dripping water in the doorway between the lockers and the showers, wrapped in a towel.

"Maybe I could have warned you if you weren't so damn loud," he deadpanned as he walked over to his locker and started getting changed.

Atsumu studied Sakusa. He was the last choice. A desperate, no-go, sort of choice, and yet. He had to ask.

"Omi, you're gay, right?" he asked cautiously.

He raised his eyebrows, "Whatever you're about to say to me, think again."

"Right, right, definitely. But assuming that ya are, I got myself into a bit of a situation."

"No."

"Ya haven't even heard what I have to say."

"I get paid to play with you, not listen to your personal problems."

He was right. On the court, Atsumu and Sakusa were magic. He had never felt so in sync with anyone before, excluding his brother. So imagine his surprise when week one that Sakusa joined the team, and they played like they were tied together with the damn red string of fate, only to be stonewalled the minute they get off the court. In fact, Sakusa repeatedly and frequently expressed all the things he disliked about Atsumu and insulted him on a personal level.

"Give me one minute to convince ya."

Sakusa glared over his shoulder, "You're going to talk anyways, no matter what I say."

"Not true, Omi, I believe in consent." He held his hands up in surrender.

Sakusa chewed on his lip, "You have thirty seconds."

Atsumu jumped. "Okay, so, my cousin is getting married this weekend, and his family is really homophobic, and also very passive aggressive. And I was gonna go to the wedding alone, and tag along with Rin and 'Samu as they take all the commentary, but then my aunt texted in front of everyone asking about my girl date, which she knows I don't have, so I texted that I'm bringing my boyfriend to spite her."

Sakusa stared blankly as he pulled on his shirt. "Sounds dreadful."

Atsumu sucked in a breath and his dignity, "So, I need someone to be my fake boyfriend fer the wedding. Will ya come with me?"

Sakusa scoffed, "Can't you get someone else?"

"Trust me, I asked everyone else and they all said no."

"Wow, you really know how to make a guy feel special, Miya," Sakusa jeered.

He coughed, "I didn't mean it like that. I know that'n awkward family affair is probably not yer ideal Saturday."

"You're correct, a Saturday with your incessant need to one-up everyone sounds obnoxious."

"I'm not trying to one-up them, I'm tryin' to stand up for gay people. I'm being a role model fer the community and any other gay cousins watching. C'mon, think about the community, Omi."

"I do enough for the community by being a successful professional athlete and not clip farming for edits as I represent us on TV."

"That's such a fucking lie, I know ya watch yer edits too." He paused and collected himself. He was on a mission and couldn't get pulled off track. "Omi, please. What can I offer ya to make it worth yer time?"

"Did that hurt you to say? No, seriously, did it?"

He took a deep breath and swallowed his pride and anxiety, "Look, if ya don't want to go, just say so. I promise I'll drop it."

Atsumu really hoped Sakusa wouldn't say so. He didn't have any other options at this point, and desperation was squeezing his heart in a vice grip.

Sakusa finally pulled his bag out of his locker and fully turned around. He walked closer, so that they were only a foot apart, with the lockers on one side and the empty room on the other.

He looked down his nose at Atsumu, black mask pulled up and a lone curl hanging down over his eyebrow. A grimace rippled across his face at Atsumu's pleading look, but he didn't break eye contact.

"Miya, your need to be loved by everyone is disgusting."

Atsumu automatically smirked and crossed his arms, "Name one person on this team that doesn't love me."

Sakusa looked to the ceiling and spoke quietly, "I will go with you if you agree to follow my rules."

Atsumu blinked. "Huh?"

"Have you taken too many balls to the skull? I said I'd go," Sakusa repeated.

"No, no, I heard ya. I just can't believe you actually said yes."

"Why the hell would you ask if you didn't think I'd say yes?" Sakusa gritted out.

"Sheesh, I don't know, desperate hope. And if ya said yes you'd be the hottest guy at the function. Besides myself of course," he added with a grin and a wink.

Sakusa rolled his eyes, "You're unbelievable."

Atsumu was suddenly aware of how close they were standing. He knew he should move out of Sakusa's personal space, but his feet were frozen to the floor.

"So what are these rules ya mentioned?"

Sakusa's slides squeaked uncomfortably loud as he took a step back to sit on the bench and put on his neon yellow trainers. Atsumu couldn't believe he had the nerve to insult his hair when he dressed like a highlighter.

"I have three rules. If you break any of them, I'm staging a dramatic breakup on the spot that will make you look like a pathetic loser." He held up his index finger, "First, we don't tell anyone it's fake."

"Obviously."

"Second, if I tell you I want to leave, we're leaving immediately. I don't care if it makes you look like a piece of shit cousin, we're leaving."

"Understood."

He held up his thumb but studied it for a moment. He tapped it twice against his index finger with a pinched expression that Atsumu couldn't decipher. "Third, no kissing."

Atsumu nodded quickly, "Okay, I can work with that." He paused, "Is it just kissing that's off limits, or all touch?" The whole team knew that Sakusa wasn't a fan of physical contact, and had learned after being left hanging for a few too many high fives.

Sakusa weighed the question in silence. "You can hold my hand and put an arm around my shoulder if you don't leave it for too long. I know that you're clean."

Atsumu fought the heat rising in his cheeks. Wedding loneliness must really be getting to him if he was blushing over being called clean.

"Right, thanks. Any other rules?"

"Not right now, but if I think of more you're going to follow them. This is an agreement on credit." With that, Sakusa sidestepped around Atsumu and headed to the door, "And Miya, I'm not going to save your ass if they start prying with questions. This is your deal and your family."

Atsumu whistled and sucked on his teeth. "Perfect, Omi-omi. Same page. I appreciate ya more than ya know and I'll text ya all the details."

Sakusa nodded and walked out the door without a word.

Atsumu smiled. He couldn't think of a person his family would dislike more. Tall, handsome, successful, and an absolute pain in the ass. The wedding was going to be swell.

He switched to whistling a happier tune as he finished pulling out his bag and repacking his dirty clothes and miscellaneous crap from his locker.

"Tsum-tsum, you're still here?"

Atsumu shrieked for the second time in thirty minutes. "Holy fuck, Bokkun, don't sneak up on a guy like that." Bokuto stood in the doorway of the locker room with a ball under his arm, wide eyed at Atsumu's reaction. He caught his breath and tried to salvage his dignity, "What're ya still doing here this late?"

"Oh, my bad. Hinata and I were practicing receives in the gym since it's going to be a long weekend."

Hinata's head popped around the corner of the gym door, "Hi Atsumu-san! Want to practice with us? We could definitely use your serves."

"Sorry, Sho-kun, I have to get home and prepare for this weekend."

Hinata jumped, "Right, your cousin's wedding is this weekend! Did you ever find someone to go with you?"

Atsumu was once again reminded of how scary observant Hinata was, behind all his idiot antics. "Yeah, I asked Omi, and he agreed to be my fake boyfriend fer the weekend."

Bokuto and Hinata exchanged a look.

"What?" Atsumu asked sharply.

"Nothing, nothing. Just, do you think that's wise?" Bokuto asked slowly.

"What're ya talking about? Of course it's wise, I needed someone and he said yes." Atsumu responded defensively.

Bokuto and Hinata exchanged another look. He was getting tired of feeling like he was being talked about right in front of his face.

"I think what Bokuto-san is trying to say," Hinata started gently, "is that it might be difficult to pretend to be together when you're not."

"Sho, ya know I'm a great actor. Remember when I told the whole team that ya were sick when ya overslept and missed yer train back from visiting Kageyama?"

Hinata flushed, the lovesick fool. Atsumu quelled the jealousy in his gut. "Atsumu-san, you promised not to share that."

"And I didn't! Bokkun is just as bad, he doesn't care." Bokuto nodded emphatically. "So I won't have a problem pretending," he finished with certainty.

Bokuto clapped his hands together solemnly and met his eyes. "Tsum-tsum, it's okay. We know you like Sakusa. You don't have to pretend in front of us."

Atsumu froze.

He narrowed his eyes. "What're ya talking about, Bokkun? I don't like Omi. He's an asshole. He literally tried to serve a ball straight into my face today."

Hinata, the overly perceptive freak, firmly responded, "Sure, but you still like him. Don't take this the wrong way, because you know I don't think this—" he raised his hands in surrender, "—but some people might also say that you can be an asshole too."

Atsumu gaped at his two spikers standing in the gym doorway. No way they were ganging up on him like this in his own locker room.

"Look, I'll admit it, Omi's attractive. We all know this." Hinata and Bokuto nodded as they all took a moment to think about Sakusa's beauty. "But just because someone's attractive doesn't mean you like them."

"You spend half of every practice flirting with him." Hinata stated.

"Because it's fun to rile him up! Ya know he plays better when he's irritated." His voice pitched higher at the end. The wide open locker room suddenly felt like a shoe box under Bokuto and Hinata's eyes.

"I thought for three months that you were already together and the insults were just your guys' version of foreplay," Bokuto added unhelpfully.

Atsumu felt like the ceiling was going to collapse on him. "We're not together, and I don't like him. It's not like that, and it won't be difficult to pretend this weekend because there's nothin' going on. End of discussion." Atsumu concluded.

Hinata pulled out his phone and pressed some buttons.

"Sho, who are ya callin—"

"Hey dumbass," Kageyama's voice echoed through Hinata's speakers.

"Hi Bakayama." Hinata replied cheerily. "I have a question. Does Atsumu-san like Sakusa-san?"

"Sho, this is stupid, hang up the—"

"Oh, yeah. Why?"

Being called out by Bokuto and Hinata was bad enough, but being clocked by Kageyama over the phone? Atsumu was going to rage quit this conversation.

"Oh, I just wanted to hear it from another setter. See ya later, idiot." Hinata said with a smug smile.

"Okay. Love you, dumbass, bye." Kageyama's voice seemed to echo throughout the locker room even after Hinata hung up, embarrassing Atsumu to new depths.

"That proves nothing." Atsumu said sourly.

"Atsumu-san, we're not trying to catch you in anything or pressure you." Hinata said. "We just want you to be happy. And we want Sakusa-san to be happy too."

Bokuto nodded and added, "If you say there's nothing going on, we believe you. I'm sure it'll be a great weekend."

Atsumu pulled hoodie on and shoved his lanyard of keys into the pocket of his shorts. "Okay, well, there's nothing going on." He ran his hands through his damp hair, "But I appreciate the concern for my happiness," he admitted with sincerity. "If we're done here, I'm gonna head home. Don't stay too late and injure yerselves," he added.

Bokuto and Hinata wished him well as he left the gym. Despite his adamant denial, he mulled over the conversation the entire walk back to his apartment. He wasn't lying when he said that nothing was going on. He'd tried his luck for the first few months and seen how uninterested Sakusa was, and that was that. Attraction didn't mean anything until he decided it meant something, and he had decided that it meant nothing. He wasn't going to get hurt this weekend because feelings weren't even part of the game.

Friday morning came much too quickly, and Atsumu was up before the sun to do his workout. He showered and dressed in fresh clothes, and sent Sakusa a good morning text. When he got no response after half an hour, he debated how likely he was to get punched in the face and texted that he was coming over.

Luckily, they both still lived in the share house, so Sakusa's apartment was only two doors down the hall. He took a deep breath and rapped on the door twice.

Nothing.

He knocked again. This time, he could hear the muffled sound of footsteps and cursing. The door swung open to reveal an endearingly disheveled Sakusa Kiyoomi in Jackals pajamas.

"Is someone dying?" he slurred.

"No, I—"

He narrowed his eyes, "Then why the hell are you here before 9 a.m.?"

Atsumu's nose crinkled in confusion.'"Omi, the sun's out. I texted that I was coming over. We have to coordinate outfits for tomorrow."

Sakusa practically hung onto the door for balance, "Why couldn't this wait until later in the day? We're not meeting the queen, Miya. I own a dress shirt."

Atsumu paused, "Ya know we're leaving tonight, right? We have to be at the venue by 2 p.m. on Saturday, and I figured you wouldn't want to be on the packed morning train. We're taking the 6 p.m. train." He raised his eyebrows, "I texted ya this yesterday and ya said that it was fine. Were you sleep texting or somethin'?"

Sakusa tightened his grip on the door. "I was busy, okay? I'll be ready by six. Get out of my doorway and let me go back to sleep."

Atsumu eyes wandered distractedly to the curl hanging in front of Sakusa's eyes. It wasn't fair for someone to look so pretty in the mornings. "Sorry, no can do, sweetheart. I have errands later today so I have to pack early. I'll be out of your hair in fifteen minutes if we can just coordinate outfits." He felt embarrassingly like a toxic ex, begging to be let in, but he didn't want to look like a fool with mismatched outfits.

Sakusa closed his eyes.

"Uh Omi, what're ya—"

"Fine. You can come in and sit on the couch. Don't touch anything." He swung the door open and turned away without waiting.

Atsumu grinned.

He stepped over the threshold gingerly and slipped off his outside shoes. He had been in Sakusa's apartment before only a handful of times, but he was pretty sure that it was more than any of their other teammates. It was clean and minimalist, but with nice taste in decor. Surprising considering the owner's wardrobe choices, he thought with a chuckle.

He sat down on the green velvet couch in the living room as Sakusa wandered into the kitchen. He returned a moment later with a two mugs of black coffee and unceremoniously set one in front of Atsumu on a coaster.

"Aw, Omi ya didn't have to make me coffee. Thank you."

"Don't flatter yourself. You look like shit and have dark circles under your eyes."

Atsumu placed a hand over his heart, "Your concern is noted, but it's nothin' a little makeup won't fix." That Sakusa had noticed at all unnerved him. Only the team trainer ever seemed to pick up on Atsumu's irregular sleep patterns. He must be slipping on his acting.

Sakusa rolled his eyes as he sat in the chair across from him but let it drop. He inhaled the steam of the coffee and drank half the mug before speaking again, "What are you going to wear?"

Atsumu jumped at the invitation and pulled out his phone. He opened his photos and leaned across the coffee table to show Sakusa.

"I have three options right now. First," he tilted his phone towards him, "black dress shirt with the gray pinstripe pants. I have the matching oversized pinstripe blazer too, but it might be too mafia-boss for this event. Hot of course, but might not be on theme."

Sakusa studied the photo with an unreadable gaze. He motioned to swipe, so Atsumu moved onto the next photo.

"Option two, we have the plum dress shirt with the black dress pants. This is a little bit more plain, but my collarbones look great when it's unbuttoned, and when I put on my leather jacket I look like a textbook gay older cousin."

Atsumu looked up but Sakusa was still looking at the photo. He looked at this one for longer, but still no commentary. Atsumu waited to see if anything was forthcoming, but moved on when he said nothing.

"Okay, and last option is the maroon dress shirt with the plaid gray pants. This is an Atsumu classic, and it always looks good. I dunno if it's too much for this event though, or if I should go with something more modest."

Sakusa's eyes lingered on this one the longest. "You were always going to be too much for them," he said decidedly, as if that was an answer.

Atsumu laughed nervously, "Is that an insult?"

"No."

Atsumu wasn't sure what to make of that, but Sakusa turned his head to face Atsumu and spoke up before he could overthink it. "The first one is good, but I agree that it's not right for the event. Between the second and third, I like the maroon better. You wore it at the Christmas banquet last year, and you looked good." His tone left no room for argument.

Atsumu blinked. He hadn't thought Sakusa remembered what he wore, much less thought it looked good.

"Okay, maroon dress shirt it is. I'll do gold accessories. What do ya have that'll match?"

Sakusa's dark eyes turned contemplative. This close leaning their heads together across the coffee table, Atsumu could smell the coffee on his breath and see the delicate moles above his eyebrow. He knew they'd been making eye contact for longer than was necessary for Sakusa to mentally consider outfit combinations, but he couldn't look away. Atsumu broke first and looked down. Sakusa pulled back and set down his mug. "I have a few options," he said as he started walking towards his room.

"I'm vetoing anything neon," Atsumu called after him.

Sakusa gave him a middle finger as he walked out. Atsumu laughed and continued letting the coffee wake him up.

He looked again at the photo of him in the dress shirt. Atsumu generally didn't ask for anyone else's opinions, and usually just let confidence guide his choices. He knew he looked good in all the outfits, the same way that he knew which sets each of his spikers liked or when it was about to start raining. It was a fact, and he didn't care to hear background chatter. That someone as blunt as Sakusa thought the outfits looked good shouldn't be anything new, because it was factually accurate that he looked sexy as hell. He drained the rest of his coffee and hoped it would help order his thoughts.

Sakusa walked back in holding two shirts and three pairs of pants draped over his arm.

"What, no show?" Atsumu teased.

Sakusa glared at him. "You're not paying, so no."

Atsumu raised his eyebrows at the joke. "So yer saying if I paid, ya would?"

Sakusa looked Atsumu up and down, and Atsumu felt his cheeks heat involuntarily. Anyone would get flustered with that gaze. "No, Miya, " he said scathingly, "Desperation might be your signature but it's not mine. We make the same salary. There's no amount you could pay me."

Atsumu knew it was a jab, but he wasn't one to back down, "I dunno Omi, I don't have to pay in cash. There's other ways to make it worth yer time," he said as he looked him up and down right back.

Pink blossomed across Sakusa's cheeks and Atsumu couldn't help the warm satisfaction that curled in his gut. So damn pretty he thought.

Sakusa turned away and set the pants down on the couch, "You don't have the cash or the credit for my time, with all you owe to Hinata and Bokuto in lost bets." He turned back before Atsumu could defend himself and started, "I have two shirts and three pants that could work. If you're doing plaid gray pants, I'll do black pants."

Atsumu let the moment drop and cleared his throat. "Right, okay, so black pants. Why do you have three different pairs of black pants?"

Sakusa blinked aggressively. "How is it that you make fun of my fashion sense?"

"Not all of us grew up attending galas every weekend, rich boy."

"You just did a Calvin Klein ad, I think you're rich enough now to own more than one pair of black pants."

Atsumu smiled, "Aw, did you like my pictures? I can send ya some exclusives if ya ask nicely."

"You're insufferable."

"I think you mean sexy and successful, Omi."

"I don't."

Atsumu laughed at Sakusa's frustrated face and circled back, "I'm just messing with ya, I know they're different. What're the options?"

Sakusa proceeded to show three different pairs of black pants. They settled on the ones with the embroidered leaves on the hems. It was subtle and wouldn't show except for when they caught the light. For the shirt, they decided between a deep forest green and a silky dark grey. Atsumu could admit that the silk shirt made Sakusa look like a rich CEO, so they went with that one.

"We're going to be the hottest couple there," Atsumu commented appreciatively when Sakusa came back to sit down.

"Their opinions don't matter," Sakusa deadpanned into his coffee.

"Obviously, but it still feels good to be better than them."

"I don't understand how you've made it this far in life, Miya," Sakusa grumbled.

"With confidence, hard work, and my lethal face card. You can quote that," Atsumu teased, half serious.

Sakusa pursed his lips and an annoyed expression crossed his face. He finally looked up. "Do you need anything else, or are you going to leave?"

Atsumu knew a dismissal when he heard it, "Nope, that's all. I'll be back at 5:30 p.m. so we can walk together to the station. My brother will pick us up when we get there, so ya only need an overnight bag." He paused as he set down the mug on the coaster, "Thanks for letting me come over so early," he ended sincerely.

Sakusa shifted awkwardly on the couch, "See you at 5:30, Miya. Don't text me before then unless it's urgent."

Atsumu smiled and made a kissing face at him as he got up, "Absolutely Omi, see ya later."

True to his word, Atsumu showed up at Sakusa's door at 5:30 sharp. He was dressed in light jeans and a black Onigiri Miya hoodie with a gray bomber jacket overtop. Sakusa opened the door on the second knock.

Atsumu allowed himself ten seconds to appreciate Sakusa's look before shutting down that train of thought. He was dressed in black jeans, a white ringer tee with black edges, and a leather jacket. A black mask was pulled down under his chin.

"Geez Omi, you look…" he trailed off.

Sakusa raised his eyebrows, "I'm meeting your family for the first time as your boyfriend. Should I have dressed poorly?"

Atsumu flushed at his wording. "No, but my Ma is going to know it's fake immediately if you look that good. But besides, Osamu already knows anyways."

Sakusa's jaw dropped. "Miya. I'm going to kill you. I just spent 30 minutes trying to decide on a damn outfit to meet your family and they already know?!"

"Whoa, whoa, hold on." He backpedaled, "Only Osamu knows, so we're still going to convince my parents. That's cute that you put in so much effort though," he said with a poorly contained laugh. He really did look incredible. Atsumu couldn't stop staring, but he needed to rein it in. He saw attractive athletes every day, including himself in the mirror. No need to get worked up.

Sakusa looked like he was going to close the door in anger or have a panic attack. Atsumu took a chance and grabbed his hand, "Hey, Omi, you promised me. Don't bail now. We're just having dinner with my parents and then we'll go to sleep. I already confirmed with them that they cleaned the guest room extensively, and the store down the block has a whole cleaning aisle if it isn't up to your standards. I promise it'll be okay."

He looked into Sakusa's eyes and tried to telepathically convey how okay everything would be. Sakusa looked at him like he didn't know the man in front of him. Unconsciously, Atsumu began to rub little circles into the back of Sakusa's hand.

"Fine. Fine. I'm going, and your parents are going to love me."

"That's the spirit." He breathed an internal sigh of relief.

Sakusa stepped out to close the door, and Atsumu suddenly realized he was still holding his hand. He dropped it abruptly and stared down the empty hall as Sakusa locked the door.

The two of them discussed volleyball as they walked to the train station and fell into a familiar rhythm. It was nice to talk with Sakusa about volleyball—He didn't get offended or judge when Atsumu bluntly commented on players' weaknesses. He supposed if there was anyone that would match his tactlessness it would Sakusa. He didn't have to hide his mean streak with the team's resident sea urchin.

They arrived at the station and tapped their transit cards, and boarded the train a few minutes later when it arrived. The trip would only take an hour, so Atsumu hadn't brought anything besides headphones for the journey. He looked over at Sakusa before putting his earbuds in, but froze when he saw his face.

"Omi, are ya good?"

His already pale complexion looked translucent under the harsh train lighting, and sweat beaded along his forehead. His eyes were closed and he was slightly swaying in his seat.

"Yes, I'm good, Miya," he gritted out through clenched teeth.

"Really? Ya don't look so good."

Sakusa opened his eyes halfway to squint at him. He spoke slowly, like he was focusing on each word, "I don't love public transit. I get claustrophobic."

Atsumu made a face. An hour wasn't much for a train ride, but for someone who didn't want to be there it would probably feel like torture. He'd assumed Sakusa drove all the time because his car was expensive and nice, but claustrophobia was much more on brand.

"Wait, why didn't ya tell me? We could've drove."

Sakusa swayed lightly into his side and closed his eyes again. Atsumu could hear him manually breathing and sent up a prayer. "My car is in the shop this weekend. I'd planned it before you asked."

Atsumu was shocked all over again that Sakusa said yes. It made less and less sense each time he thought about it.

"Well, damn, that's unfortunate. Uh, what usually helps when it gets bad?" he asked awkwardly.

"I haven't been on a train since I was seventeen. Rich kid perks," he laughed a bit hysterically.

Atsumu looked around to see if anyone else was seeing what was surely the edge of a nervous breakdown. Nobody else on the train was paying them any attention, so Atsumu set their duffle bags on the seat next to them like an awful patron, and carefully maneuvered so their thighs were a hair's breath apart next to each other. Sakusa wouldn't want touch, but he figured it might help to be close to someone he knew.

"Hey, Omi, I need you to stay with me and not throw up on this train." Sakusa blanched and Atsumu changed tactics, "I'm here, and I wouldn't lead you into danger, right? That would be a terrible setter move, and I'm the best. You know that. You say all the time that I'm the best, and I wouldn't put my spikers in harm's way."

"I say that your need to be the best in all situations is obnoxious," Sakusa corrected as he dug his nails into his thighs.

"Exactly, same difference. So how 'bout we share my earbuds and listen to this podcast that talks about how I'm a better setter for the national team than Kageyama?"

"Do you ever fucking stop?" he breathed out as he grabbed the offered earbud.

"Nope." Atsumu replied honestly. He desperately prayed that the distraction would work.

The podcast started, but Atsumu was only half listening. He was watching Sakusa's breathing and making sure it stayed even. Eventually he seemed to calm down, enough that Atsumu could settle.

Sakusa started commentating, refuting the podcasters with his own opinions and persistently praising Kageyama just to make Atsumu mad. He played up his indignation, but he was mostly just glad that Sakusa didn't look like he was going to pass out on the train anymore.

About thirty minutes into the ride, Sakusa's commentary slowed. His breathing started to deepen, and Atsumu realized with a start that he was falling asleep. The adrenaline of earlier must have passed over into exhaustion, and by some miracle his body seemed to be taking him offline for the rest of the trip. Small mercies, or whatever.

Atsumu tried to go to sleep himself, but his brain was too active, as usual. He felt warmth against his leg, and realized that their thighs were touching on the seat.

He stopped breathing.

Should he move his leg? Sakusa probably wouldn't want to be touching. But if he moved would it wake him up? He didn't want to disturb him. He debated for another thirty seconds before deciding it was probably best not to move. He felt like an electric current was running through his body. He couldn't stop focusing on where their legs were brushing and the warmth of Sakusa's body, but he scolded himself for likely hallucinating the feeling through the fabric of their jeans.

With five minutes left in the ride, Sakusa shifted away. Atsumu finally took a deep breath and straightened his posture in the seat. Sakusa stirred with the movement and opened his eyes.

"Hey sleeping beauty. We're two stops away."

"M'kay," Sakusa slurred. He blinked blearily and shook his head slightly. Atsumu had the strangest urge to kiss his head, but he beat the thought away.

When they arrived at their stop, Atsumu grabbed both their bags, and they got off at the platform. He looked around as Sakusa finally took a full breath of outside air, and spotted Osamu waiting on the other end. He grinned and walked towards him.

"Hey scrub. Welcome home," Osamu smiled as he pulled him in for a hug. Atsumu smacked the brim of his hat up and squeezed him back with a matching smile.

They pulled apart, and Osamu faced Sakusa standing awkwardly to the side.

"Sakusa Kiyoomi, welcome to Hyogo. I have no idea what this fool said to get you to agree to this, but yer a saint. Prepare for the most painful weekend of your life with the most boring people you've ever met"

"Slander and lies, don't listen to him Omi. It's going to be a great weekend," Atsumu corrected with a smack on Osamu's arm, "Stop trying to scare off my date, he already agreed to come."

"I assure you, I've have much worse people in my extended family, but your concern is appreciated, Osamu-san," Sakusa spoke frankly.

Atsumu rounded on Sakusa. "Wait, why does he get first name privileges? I'm yer fake boyfriend."

"Because he's my favorite twin."

Atsumu gaped. "Now that's just cruel, Omi. I know you don't mean that."

Sakusa shrugged non-committally with a mean smile. He was embarrassed to admit that it made the back of his neck flush. Osamu laughed at Atsumu's shocked face and twirled his truck keys, "Ya know what, I take it back. I think this is going to be a great weekend after all."

"I bet ya 200 yen that Ma will figure it out within 5 minutes," Osamu said as they stood on the threshold.

"Will you shut the hell up? She's not gonna know," Atsumu huffed.

"Did you even make up a story beforehand? She's not going to believe that yer loud mouth could keep a secret boyfriend with the way you tell everyone your business."

"Yeah, right, like yer so much better with all your selfies ya post of Rin," he elbowed him.

"Exactly, and you're a thousand times worse, so how is it believable that you're dating someone but never said anythin'?" Osamu whispered-yelled as he rang the doorbell.

"How is it believable that you live here but don't even have a damn key?"

"I have a key, I'm just not digging through my bag for it when Dad will just open the door."

"I don't know what Rin sees in you."

"Endless patience from dealing with yer dumb ass for all these years."

The door swung open. "Don't you boys have keys?" asked the senior Miya. He was a spitting image of his sons with a few more gray hairs and smiles lines. Predictably, he smiled at them and opened his arms for a hug.

The twins hugged their Dad, but when they pulled back Sakusa was visible behind them. Atsumu cleared his throat, "Dad, I'd like you to meet Sakusa Kiyoomi. My boyfriend," he added. He praised his own acting skills in his head for how natural and normal it sounded. Not like he was overthinking it at all.

The elder Miya studied Sakusa for a moment before grinning. "I never thought this clown would bring someone home. Welcome to Hyogo," he said as he offered his hand for a handshake.

Sakusa hesitated, but seemed to steel himself and shook his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. Thank you for having me."

Atsumu fidgeted with the straps of their duffle bags. He was sweating and it wasn't even a real situation. "Alright, are we going to stand in the cold forever or are we goin' in?"

"No patience, this one," his Dad joked at Sakusa.

Sakusa raised his eyebrows knowingly and smiled, "Tell me about it."

Atsumu felt like his stomach was doing somersaults. Maybe it was a bad idea to bring Sakusa after all. He hadn't considered that he'd gang up on him with his family for the ultimate tag team teasing tournament.

Osamu leaned in and whispered as they walked inside, "Maybe ya should date him fer real."

"Shut up," Atsumu whispered back as he shoved him into the wall.

They took off their shoes and put down their stuff before getting ready for dinner. Atsumu's mom fussed over Sakusa and asked him a million questions about himself, which Sakusa endured with grace. It wasn't until they were all sitting down at the table that the true test began.

"So, Atsumu hasn't told me much about how you two met," his Ma gently broached as she poured water for everyone.

Sakusa turned to Atsumu with a questioning look but took the lead. "I wanted to keep things private while it was still new, and Atsumu understood that. We didn't mean to keep it from you both. I know how much family means to him."

Atsumu shivered at the use of his first name, even if it was just for show. The sincerity in his voice made it hard to remember what was a lie. He jumped in, "Yeah, trust me, I wanted to tell ya both, but I felt like it wouldn't be fair. Besides, ya always tell me I need to work on patience." His chopsticks fell off the side of his plate with a clatter that felt too loud and he winced.

"Of course, we understand. Ya must be something special Sakusa-kun if you were able to keep this one quiet," his Ma teased. "So how did you two meet again?"

Just then, the doorbell rang. Osamu jumped up, "It's probably Rin, I'll get it."

"Why is Rin coming to family dinner?" called Atsumu in annoyance.

"Because he's family dumbass, and I told him Sakusa was here."

Truthfully, Atsumu didn't mind seeing Rin, but he knew that he wouldn't be coming over without a reason. He was definitely here to laugh at Atsumu and see him sweat under his parents' questions, the evil bastard.

Rin and Osamu walked back into the living room, and Osamu pulled out the extra chair for him. When they got settled and his parents were done exchanging pleasantries, Rin leveled his gaze at Sakusa.

"Hey Sakusa, long time no see. Osamu tells me that you and Atsumu are dating now. I wouldn't have guessed," he said with a cheshire grin.

"What d'ya mean Rintarou? Atsumu used to talk about him all the time back in high school." his Dad interjected curiously.

Atsumu's stomach dropped.

"Oh, Sakusa's cousin and I are on the same team, so I would've thought I would've heard something by now, but apparently Motoya also just found out recently." He continued, "But you're right, how could I forget about Atsumu's crush on him in high school."

Atsumu needed Rin to shut the hell up immediately.

"Hey now, I did not have a crush on him," Atsumu objected.

"Oh I dunno Rin," his Ma pondered, as if he hadn't said anything, "I don't think he had a crush then. He was just young and interested in everyone who challenged him, but when Sakusa-kun joined the Jackals, I really did wonder if something was going on with the way he'd call me to talk about him all the time."

Atsumu was going to crawl into a hole and die.

"Yes, we're all aware that I was an obnoxious teenager with a big ego. Omi already knows how much I can complain. Let's talk about something else," Atsumu pleaded.

"No, I'm curious," Sakusa said with raised eyebrows and a barely contained laugh. He turned back to Atsumu's Ma, "What did he say about me?" he asked in his most conspiratorial voice. Atsumu had never heard him talk like that before and it was making his stomach swoop.

"Oh you know how he is," his Ma said with a laugh, "at first it was all complaints, like complaining about how ya weren't satisfied with his sets, or how ya didn't want to give him high fives, or whatever petty thing he was bothered by that week."

She smiled introspectively, "—but for every complaint he'd add in a comment about yer hair being pretty or tell me about a blunt comment ya made that he found funny, or talk about how hard ya tried to mesh with the team even when they annoyed ya. I even asked him at one point if he liked ya but he said—" she mimed air quotes "—'No way in hell, Ma, that guy is way too prickly', and I said that was rich coming from him," she ended in a laugh. "Guess he was lying to me."

Sakusa's smiled dropped a little, but he recovered it when he saw Atsumu looking, "He never told me about that."

"Yes, yes, we can all reminisce about my hypocrisy another time. Let's not bore Omi, I'm sure he's heard enough embarrassing stories for the night," Atsumu hedged.

"Sorry if we're embarrassing ya, 'Tsumu. We're just happy that ya found someone you clearly care about so much," his Dad amended with sincerity.

He didn't know what face he made, but Osamu kicked him under the table, so it probably wasn't great. He tried to hide it with an appreciative nod.

Sakusa laid his hand over Atsumu's on the table and spoke up, "I'm very lucky he found me. I'm not always the easiest, so it feels special to find someone that sees me, and especially someone as loving at Atsumu."

His eyes widened. This time it was Sakusa that kicked him under the table as he tried to school his face into something that made sense.

Osamu saw him struggling and mercifully stepped in to change the subject. The rest of the dinner Atsumu sat in a daze, unable to comprehend everything that had been said. He didn't miss Rin's knowing look, but he chose to ignore it. He needed sleep and coffee and strength he didn't have to work through all of it, so he settled for going to bed early and leaving the questions for later.

Morning found Atsumu too early as usual, and he was up before the rest of the household. He stood blearily over the coffee machine as it brewed, and tapped an offbeat rhythm on the counter. It was going to be a long day and he wasn't trying to think any thoughts before he had caffeine in his system.

"Why are you up so early?"

Atsumu jumped with a yelp as his soul left his body. He seriously needed to get his hearing checked. "What the hell Omi, why would you sneak up on me like that?"

"I said your name three times and you didn't respond." He stood stiffly at the edge of the kitchen, like he was unsure of intruding.

"Oh. Right. Yeah, good morning to you too," he replied awkwardly.

The coffee machine beeped and he pulled out two mugs. He washed them both first, and then filled them and gave one to Sakusa. Sakusa was still looking at him with a wary expression but accepted the mug.

They stood in the near silence of the kitchen and listened to the hum of the refrigerator as they sipped their coffee. Sakusa finally set down his mug, "You never answered my question."

Atsumu took a long sip of the coffee. "I couldn't sleep." At Sakusa's searching expression, he hesitantly offered a spoonful of truth, "My brain gets a little loud, and it's better to just start the day than fight it."

"Loud like what?"

"Like thoughts. Ya don't have thoughts Omi?"

"Yes I have thoughts, Miya. Don't be a fucking brat. I'm trying to be nice."

Atsumu drank more coffee and didn't respond for a moment. He leveled his gaze, "You aren't nice."

The blue light of the oven clock cast shadows on Sakusa's face. "I'm working on it."

He leaned back against the counter. "Do what ya want, but I like yer prickly side. There's too many fake bastards in the world."

"You'd think that because you're just as bad as me."

Atsumu hummed shamelessly, "No argument here."

The fridge grumbled with the noise of the ice machine in the darkness. They both glanced over before going back to their coffee.

Sakusa scratched his wrist, "So, what are the loud thoughts?"

Atsumu peered at Sakusa through the darkness. The brights of his eyes shone, and he looked like a statue with the sharp lines of his profile illuminated. Atsumu looked down into the swirls of his mug.

"I get stuck sometimes," he admitted quietly. "Thinking about my family and the team, about my brother and the future and all the things I can't control. Car crashes and health scares and things like that, and then I can't make them quiet down even when I know the worryin' ain't helping."

Sakusa said nothing but continued watching him with those deep eyes.

His fingers twitched on the side of the cup. "Despite my incredible natural skills and admirable work ethic—"

"And humility," Sakusa add dryly.

"—I worry a lot about the team and if I'm doin' enough for them. Do I push them enough, or am I overdoing it, and would they feel comfortable to bring it up if I was doing somethin' wrong, ya know?"

"I know."

He looked up at Sakusa's unyielding gaze. He decided to swing, "Sometimes it feels like I'm drowning in my own head, and one day they're all going to see it. That I can be the best on the court and it won't mean anything in the end, and I'll have given my whole life to it anyways."

Sakusa sighed quietly. He set down his mug on the counter.

"I don't know how someone with your bleeding heart can have such an ego."

"What the fuck, Omi." Atsumu blinked.

"I'm going somewhere with this."

"Well get there faster, because that sure sounded like an insult."

Sakusa took a deep breath, "You are the best out of all of us. This team is only as good as we are because you push us to be better and bring our best to meet you. And we see how much you care for us, as much as you try to hide it or act like it's not a big deal."

Atsumu looked down at the floor. His throat was tight, and his eyes felt like they might start burning.

Sakusa snapped his fingers, "Hey, Atsumu, look at me. I am not nice, and I don't care enough to lie to you." He followed Atsumu's eyes when he tried to look away, "We see you. And I promise that if you ever push us too hard or start coddling us, I will be the first to call you on your shit. The responsibility is not all on you, so don't put it on yourself."

Atsumu's heart was beating way too fast. He cursed the lack of sleep for making him overly emotional.

Sakusa tugged on a curl by his ear and looked at the coffee machine behind Atsumu. The silence hung heavy between them, but Sakusa had the decency to let Atsumu breathe. "You forgot to turn off the machine," he mumbled finally.

"Oh," Atsumu started. He switched the machine off and turned back, "Thanks, Omi," he said softly.

Sakusa just nodded and looked away.

"Wanna go for a run?" Atsumu suggested.

"Sure," Sakusa agreed.

They set their mugs in the sink and went to go get changed. Atsumu slipped back into the room he shared with Osamu and turned the conversation over in his head.

Atsumu knew he was weak to Sakusa's particular brand of kindness. It was too easy to get swept up in his steadiness, his pretty face, his refreshing honesty, his witty commentary, and forget that at the end of the day it meant nothing. He had a laundry list of insults for Atsumu, and it wasn't some sort of fun game they played. It wasn't banter if the other person genuinely thought he had character flaws. Hinata and Bokuto, and even stupid Kageyama, could think what they liked, but they didn't know Sakusa the way he did.

Despite objectively knowing that Sakusa was just being a good teammate, and maybe even friend, in the privacy of Atsumu's mind, he could admit that he was losing the battle. That he had crossed over from the land of attraction into the dangerous waters of crush, and he hadn't had the foresight to bring a life raft. His heart fluttered just thinking of Sakusa in the kitchen saying all those things, and he knew he might soon be overboard.

Osamu stirred in the bottom bunk and turned towards the door, "'Tsumu? What's wrong?"

"I think I'm in deep shit, 'Samu," Atsumu sighed with defeat.

As cliche as it was, the barn wedding was beautiful. The barn itself had been repainted in a rich maroon, and lights were strung up inside to make the ceiling glow and sparkle. Golden wheat fields blanketed the land as far as he could see, and a large tent was set up outside in case of rain, with cocktail tables underneath for guests to mill around. This is where Atsumu found himself before the ceremony, with Sakusa at his side talking to a distant aunt whose name he couldn't remember for the life of him.

"What did you say your name was again, dear?" she asked.

"Sakusa Kiyoomi," he said with a polite smile.

"Yes, that's right. Atsumu, love, I can't believe you've never brought him around before. He's so handsome. How'd you convince him to date you?" she said with a laugh.

Atsumu chuckled with no mirth. "I have no idea. By the way, where's your husband? I haven't seen him in ages and it's been such a long time," he faked with concern.

Her smiled faltered. Atsumu knew they'd had a messy divorce two years ago, and he wasn't above playing dirty.

Sakusa wrapped a hand around Atsumu arm and squeezed. Atsumu was pretty sure it was supposed to be a warning, but he couldn't help feeling hot under the collar.

"It was lovely meeting you. If you'll excuse us, we're going to go find some water." Sakusa gracefully exited the conversation and dragged Atsumu towards the water pitchers at the entrance of the tent.

"I have no idea what that was about, but I know it wasn't nice." Sakusa stated with no inflection as he sipped water.

"You didn't sign up to date someone nice." Atsumu mumbled petulantly like a child.

"Oh, I know. You're just losing it early in the night."

Atsumu looked up at Sakusa's teasing smirk and felt his shoulders relax. "Stop making fun of me, I'm really suffering over here."

"You make it so easy though."

Atsumu really was suffering. Sakusa's outfit was doing things to him, and he felt like a certified gay freak with how badly he wanted to leave early. The silk shirt draped across his collarbones to show just a sliver of his chest, and Atsumu had never felt so teased. He felt like a Victorian man swooning at an ankle, but he couldn't help it. Sakusa was wearing some sort of cologne that smelled like sandalwood and jasmine and old money and Atsumu knew there was no coming back from this. Every time he looked for too long he had to thing about unsexy things, like food poisoning and all of his extended family gathered at a barn wedding.

"No way, Miya Atsumu?" a familiar deep voice called. Atsumu turned, "I thought it was you, man. It's been so long but I'd know that hair anywhere."

Atsumu steeled himself. "Hey, it's been a while, man." He pulled in his cousin for the dap-side-hug combo. "This is my boyfriend, Sakusa Kiyoomi."

He watched his cousin's expression sour. "Nice to meet you, Sakusa Kiyoomi. I'm Atsumu's cousin." He forgot to give his name and Atsumu didn't bother to offer it. "When did you two get here?"

"About thirty minutes ago. We're just mingling until the ceremony starts." Atsumu replied.

"That's crazy man. I just got here, so I'm doing a lap. Say, how many years has it been since we last saw each other? Feels like forever."

Atsumu laughed awkwardly, "Yeah, it must'a been a while."

"We should hang out soon. You're up in Osaka now, right? I hear the girls are hot there," he said with a conspiratorial smile.

Atsumu raised his eyebrows, "There's some beautiful women in the area, but I'm not interested and I dunno what they'd see in yer sorry ass."

His cousin laughed and turned to Sakusa, "This guy, I swear. Always so defensive about everything."

Sakusa looked at him with a bored expression and said nothing.

His cousin raised his hands. "Hey, you know I was just joking, man. I'll catch you both later,"

"Or not," Sakusa said as he walked away. His cousin definitely heard it.

Atsumu laughed and tried very weakly to play it off as a cough. "Tough, Omi. He might feel that one for a while."

"Somehow I doubt it," he said as he rolled his eyes. "Are they all like this?"

"Pretty much," Atsumu affirmed.

They made small talk for another twenty minutes with various family members. They heard some quotable lines such as:

'So you play games for a living? What are you going to do when you retire? Youth these days never think ahead,' and

'Wow, your hair is still the same, Atsumu. I guess individuality is still the trend,' and

'It's so nice to meet your friend, Atsumu, dear.'

He was beginning to think it would never end when his aunt, mother of the bride, called everyone to take their seats for the ceremony.

"Finally," Sakusa breathed out.

The guests milled through the barn towards the garden where the ceremony would take place. Atsumu and Sakusa excused themselves as they pushed through the row to find seats next to Osamu and Rin in the back.

"How much shit did ya have to deal with?" Osamu grumbled.

"Just as much as ya, scrub. Nobody can believe that Omi would date me," he complained.

"That's because yer a dumbass and brought a gay date to meet our family."

"Ya literally did the same thing."

"It's fer the community, asshole. What if we have other gay cousins?" Osamu quipped.

"Ya ever think that maybe we don't have other gay cousins and we're just torturing ourselves?"

Sakusa chimed in, "It's good karma to make homophobic family uncomfortable."

Atsumu smiled at Sakusa's pettiness breaking through.

Snap.

Rin raised his eyebrows at the photo he'd taken of them. Atsumu met his eyes and froze. He knew his expression was probably revealing all of his thoughts, and Rin would catch his feelings immediately.

"You're such an idiot 'Tsumu," Rin said while he studied the photo.

"Tell me something new," he mumbled with a roll of his eyes. He fanned himself with the program left on the seat.

Slow instrumental music started to play to signal his cousin's bride was beginning to walk down the aisle. Seats creaked as everyone turned around to watch her. She looked ethereal, and once again Atsumu wondered what his cousin had done to convince her to marry him.

His cousin was tearing up at the altar, and he felt a split second of guilt for thinking such mean thoughts about all of them. They were the worst, but he didn't want to hate on their love and happiness.

She reached the altar and passed her bouquet to the maid of honor. Wind gently whistled through the wheat, and the grasses swayed slowly. The wooden altar was decorated in small white flowers and greenery, and the couple looked picturesque in front of it.

The pastor motioned for the music to fade.

"Thank you all for gathering here today. We're here today as witnesses to the union of two young loves and two families in holy matrimony. Their journey began long before this day, with the love poured into them by their family and friends on their path to finding each other. This day marks the start of a beautiful life together, built on shared trust, honesty, and love. May all that comes after be blessed in divine light."

He began to lead the audience in a sermon that Atsumu tuned out. He glanced over at Sakusa and saw that he was also looking off into the distance and not listening. Rin and Osamu were playing footsie, and Rin stuck out his tongue when he saw Atsumu looking. Eventually the sermon concluded, and they all nodded with the 'amen'.

The couple repeated the vows, and promised to love each other in sickness and health until death did them part. Atsumu strangely felt like crying, and anxiety bubbled in his chest. His watch was too heavy, his shoes were squeezing his feet, his pant legs were too scratchy, and inexplicably his hands felt numb. All this picture perfect love was suffocating.

The couple slid the rings onto each other's fingers and smiled shyly.

"With that, I now pronounce you husband and wife," the pastor concluded. He smiled at Atsumu's cousin, "You may now kiss the bride."

The couple nearly stumbled in their rush to embrace each other, and kissed for longer than was probably decent. The crowd whistled and cheered as they danced down the aisle to the upbeat walk out music.

Atsumu was glued to his seat. He kind of thought he was going to be sick.

Sakusa's voice in his ear interrupted his thoughts. "I give it three years before your cousin messes it up and she leaves for someone who treats her better."

Atsumu turned towards him. The rest of the crowd was chattering happily and getting up to go inside, but Sakusa sat still with a frown. "Mean, Omi."

He shrugged. "Your family's communication style is fake and backhanded. I don't expect your cousin to know any different, and that will get old eventually."

Their faces were only inches apart, and Sakusa's breath grazed Atsumu's cheek when he spoke. It was a morbid thing to say at a wedding, but Atsumu's heart finally felt like it was beating normally again. His eyes dipped to Sakusa's lips and he paused.

It would be so easy to close the distance.

He knew there was no subtlety in his gaze, but it had never been his style anyways. He couldn't remember any of the reasons this was a bad idea. Sakusa's breathing hitched, just barely.

"Miya, we need to go inside," Sakusa murmured as he pulled back. He stood up and avoided eye contact as he rearranged his chair to be even in the row.

Atsumu shook his head. He didn't know what he was thinking. He'd almost leaned in, and for a second almost believed there was something there. All the wedding talk must have frayed his nerves and made him act stupider than usual.

He needed to get it under control fast. He'd allowed himself to get swept up in a fantasy but he couldn't make Sakusa uncomfortable when he was helping him so much. He pinched himself and stood to follow the other guests inside.

"'Tsumu, there ya are," his Ma sighed as she walked over. "I've been looking fer ya both. I saw Rintarou and 'Samu earlier. I think ya both are at the same table."

"Where are Dad and ya?"

"We're on the other side with my sister," she groused. "It's days like these that I'm so glad yer father is sober so I can get drunk as fast as possible." She turned to Sakusa, "That's not an endorsement of drinking, so don't go repeatin' it, but I brought an extra bottle of wine in my purse if needed. They won't get more tolerable as the night goes on."

Atsumu laughed, "Ma, I love ya. We might have to take ya up on that, if Dad's drivin'."

Sakusa nodded. "Hopefully it won't come to that, but we appreciate the foresight. That dress is lovely, by the way."

Atsumu's Ma did a spin in her emerald green lace dress. "Thank you fer saying so, Sakusa-kun. 'Tsumu bought it fer me when I first visited him in Osaka and I haven't had an occasion to wear it in a while."

Sakusa chuckled, "Sounds like he should be taking you to more fancy places."

She grinned, "That's exactly what I said."

Atsumu cleared his throat. Much as he was loving his Ma loving Sakusa, it was doing damage to his heart that he really couldn't handle right then. "Alright, it looks like we better get to our table before they start calling fer food. We'll probably find ya afterwards fer a walk or somethin'."

She took his face between her hands and stared him down sternly, "Don't let them get to ya, okay? Yer my baby and I love ya. Any of you kids need support, I'm right over there. We can leave at any point if it's out of hand."

He tried to blink away the burning in his eyes and nodded. She patted his cheek and he sniffled in a way that he hoped wasn't audible. He gave his Ma a hug and watched as she tried to hug Sakusa. He was a bit stiff, but she was never one to mind and still smiled at him as they left for their table.

Their table had eight chairs, two which were taken by Rin and Osamu. Unfortunately, his aunt and uncle and their two young girls were in the other chairs. This particular uncle always brought the conversation back to politics and talked over everyone, and his aunt never said anything. Atsumu supposed that it could have been worse, but he still cursed them out in his head.

"Atsumu, Osamu, it's been so long. I hear you've both moved out of Hyogo."

Atsumu and Osamu exchanged looks and offered pleasant greetings towards their aunt and uncle. Their aunt nodded but that was the extent of her reply.

"To answer yer question, yes we're both in Osaka now. 'Tsumu is playing volleyball with the MSBY Black Jackals, and I run an onigiri restaurant in downtown," Osamu politely responded.

"Wow, such unconventional jobs. I suppose you two have always been a bit off the straightened arrow though," his uncle commented with a tilt of his head.

Atsumu could see Rin rolling his eyes in the periphery. Sakusa had a flat expression but his fingers were tapping agitatedly on the tablecloth.

"Yes, a bit different, but we're very happy. 'Samu's restaurant recently made the list fer the top ten new restaurants to try in Osaka." Atsumu bragged.

"And 'Tsumu made the national team this year for Japanese men's volleyball," Osamu added shamelessly.

He met Osamu's eyes. They might give each other a lot of shit, but at the end of the day they were each other's biggest supporters. Nobody was going to diminish Osamu's restaurant in front of him, and certainly not their family.

"Your parents must be very proud," their uncle said tightly.

"What's that?" Rin said in a monotone voice, "I think they just called our table for food. I'm going to go get some." He stood up without waiting and pulled Osamu with him.

Sakusa looked to Atsumu and they both got up with their plates. They made their way through the buffet line and filled up with enough food for two professional athletes, trying to match their macros with the random assortment of food catered. Atsumu accepted defeat that none of the items would be palatable together and he just needed the nutrients.

Somehow they were the first two back to the table. Atsumu could see Rin and Osamu off to the side of the line, where Rin was very patiently letting Samu complain about the food. The rest of his family was still stuck in line as his nieces slowly decided what they wanted.

Atsumu could feel his confidence cracking with each targeted comment. His ego was his most notable feature and he boasted about himself to anyone that would listen, yet these people knew all the right jabs to get under his skin. Emotional uppercuts and verbal elbows to the ribs.

"Atsumu-kun, there you are," his aunt, mother of the groom, said as she sailed over. She placed her hand on the back of Sakusa's chair, and he stilled at the invasion of personal space.

"Hi auntie, it's been so long. This is a lovely wedding," he answered, eyes never leaving her hands on the chair.

She moved over to squeeze Atsumu's shoulder. "Thank you so much. Yes, we really didn't want to spare any expense," she said with a loud laugh. Atsumu didn't know what the joke was. "It's just so wonderful getting to see young love. They make me so proud. Someday your parents will know the feeling."

He laughed awkwardly, "Oh, I'm sure they're already proud, with 'Samu and Rin dating fer as long as they have. They're practically married already."

Her smile slipped off her face. "Practically, but not."

Atsumu's smile strained. "Semantics."

Sakusa inclined his head towards them and extended his hand. His words were short, but Atsumu could hear the venom simmering underneath. "Hi, I'm Sakusa Kiyoomi, Atsumu's boyfriend. I've heard so much about you."

His aunt shook his hand limply like she was afraid of germs. Atsumu would laugh at the irony if he could get in a full breath into his lungs.

"Ah, yes, the vegetarian."

Sakusa side-eyed Atsumu. He ground out, "Yes. That's me. Vegetarian." He very obviously put some lettuce over the chicken on his plate.

"Funny, none of us knew about you until Atsumu texted last week."

Sakusa hummed, "I really appreciate you accommodating us last minute. I value my privacy perhaps more than most, so we haven't told many people about our relationship until now."

His aunt's face twisted. "Well, I'm sure your parents appreciate that, Atsumu."

"Excuse me?" he asked, playing dumb.

"You and Osamu were such loud kids. Some discretion is probably a relief."

He stared at her. He knew she wouldn't say it to his face, but he wanted to see.

"Why? They have a lot to brag about. Osamu's restaurant is top ten in Osaka and I'm the starting setter fer the men's national volleyball team. Omi's on the team too, and Rin is on one of our opposing professional teams."

Her eyebrows raised and her eyes widened in angry disbelief. He took it back, he didn't want to see what she had to say. Whatever she said next would be aiming for his throat.

"At least they have that. I suggest keeping this," she gestured vaguely at the two of them, "quiet for their sakes. They've already endured enough with your brother."

Atsumu watched her face. She was lecturing him about his attitude, but his ears were full of cotton. He felt like he was having an out of body experience. He was floating away from the situation, out soaring over the wheat fields with the crows.

He'd brought a professional athlete on his arm, and stupidly had thought it would be enough. National team position, his glamorous life in the city, a glow up, as if any of it would mean something to these people. That it would all just cancel out, in a sort of fucked pemdas.

He knew Sakusa was saying something, but he couldn't hear it over the tightness in his chest. His aunt was walking away, so he must have said something to excuse them. Osamu and Rin were bee-lining back towards them, and his hands were clammy under the table where he twisted them in his pant legs. All the happy guests around looked like a TV show, muted and fake, and he couldn't hear anything over the beating of his heart.

Osamu reached the table first. "'Tsumu, ya good? Auntie?"

He nodded and took a long gulp of the wine he'd gotten earlier. He gestured vaguely with his hand and took another long drink. Osamu would understand.

Osamu clapped him on the back. "Ya know how she is. She's a loser. Ma will chew her out if ya say the word."

"What's the point?" he sighed, the fight leaving his body.

Osamu blinked.

"Let's just enjoy this fucking food, and leave when we can."

Osamu's brow wrinkled in concern, but he didn't say anything. He gave him another pat on the back and left his hand longer than usual, before silently digging in.

Their family returned with their plates, and predictably his uncle began to talk about politics. Atsumu didn't hear a damn word. He finished the wine but didn't bother to get another glass. Getting trashed here wouldn't even be fun, surrounded by people that only saw him as the family shame. Maybe another day he'd lean into it, run his mouth and give them something to really be ashamed of, but he couldn't gather the effort today. He sighed again as his fork scraped the plate.

The happy couple made a speech, and everyone toasted to young love. The best man and maid of honor did their speeches, but Atsumu wasn't paying attention. He drew a frowny face with his spoon in the cream sauce left on his plate.

The couple cut their cake, and fed each other the first piece. His cousin smeared frosting all over his wife's face, and instead of being upset at her ruined make-up, she just laughed. Atsumu knew Sakusa would never let him smear frosting on his face, but he wouldn't mind. He'd always thought it was a bit wasteful anyways.

"I'd now like to invite the newlyweds onto the dance floor for their first dance."

The DJ put on a slow track, and his cousin and his wife waltzed around the floor. Everyone swooned when they dipped at the end. Atsumu couldn't fight the bitterness in his heart. He felt like a loser, hating on their love on the happiest day of their lives.

The DJ changed the track. "Now I'd like to invite all the other couples in the room to join them on the floor."

Sakusa nudged his foot under the table with his own.

"We don't haf'ta, Omi. We can skip this one."

Rin pulled Osamu by the tie as they made their way to the floor.

Sakusa studied him. "I want to dance, Miya."

"Ya hate dancing. Ya never want to come with us to the club," he reminded him flatly.

"I hate the germs in the club. I don't hate dancing."

"Ya don't need to do this fer me, Omi. Seriously, you've done more than enough by just coming with," he emphasized.

"Miya, can you just shut up and dance with me?"

Sakusa pushed his chair back and looked down at him expectantly. Atsumu looked up at him with wide eyes. He wasn't sure what was happening. When he didn't move fast enough, Sakusa grabbed his hand and pulled him up easily.

He moved towards the edge of the dance floor without dropping Atsumu's hand. They landed in the far corner, out of the main area, but still visible in the sea of straight couples dressed in pastels.

"Omi, I'm getting tired of being a spectacle tonight," he protested.

"You are always going to be a spectacle in this crowd."

"Can ya give me a fuckin' break?" he sighed with exasperation. He twirled Sakusa with the rest of the couples.

Sakusa faced him again. "No. Not for this."

He tried not to step on Sakusa's toes as they waltzed. He was more of a shaking-ass-in-the-club dancer than a formal step kind of man, but he still had decent rhythm. Sakusa seemed like he'd done ballet as a kid with how effortlessly he stepped. Knowing him, he probably had.

Sakusa spoke up again, "These people live small lives. You're never going to fit in their worldview."

"They've known me since I was a baby, Omi. I used to be a part of their lives."

"You grew beyond the boundaries of their small-mindedness. They could have grown with you and they didn't. It's not your problem anymore," he stated coldly.

"It's always going to be my problem. Ya only get one family, and no matter what I do, they're not changing their minds."

Sakusa met his eyes as they spun. "What is this team to you? Your parents, your brother, Rin? You spend all your time worrying about a team you don't even consider family?"

Atsumu's hands were sweating on Sakusa's shoulders. "I consider them family, but one trade and it's broken."

"Right, because how many people in Japanese men's volleyball aren't close anymore because they're on different teams?"

Atsumu couldn't answer that.

"Your need to be loved by everyone disgusts me because you're already loved by everyone that matters." Sakusa accused, holding eye contact.

"Not everyone," Atsumu said quietly, maintaining the eye contact. He felt exposed in the things unsaid.

They pulled apart and moved in for the final beat of the song. Sakusa's face rested above Atsumu's right shoulder, and there were only centimeters between their bodies. It might as well have been oceans with the distance between Atsumu's feelings and the truth of what they were to each other.

"I want to leave," Sakusa said, muffled under the noise of the crowd.

Atsumu pulled back to make eye contact. "Right now?"

"You promised me." he murmured. His eyes were fixed on the floor, and his hands hovered over Atsumu's sides, not actually touching.

"Okay, yeah, let's go. Let me tell my Ma first."

They stopped by his parents' table as they left the dance floor. He told his Ma they were leaving early, and she smiled the proudest she had all night. His chest tightened uncomfortably at the misplaced pride. His parents wished them well and told them they'd see them later tonight.

They made eye contact with Rin and Osamu as they left. Osamu nodded and Rin gave a two finger salute to Sakusa. He wasn't sure what that meant, but Sakusa gave him a small smile in return.

They grabbed their jackets from the coat check. He gave quick goodbyes to all the cousins and grandparents he saw on the way out, while Sakusa tapped his foot impatiently. They navigated around all the tables and wished well to his cousin from the dance floor.

The night air hit them like a wall when they crossed the threshold of the barn. Cold crisp air rushed over him, and he grinned involuntarily. He needed to leave more things early. This feeling was electric. The frogs were croaking out in the field, and the insects were chirping out in the dark, but the silence coated everything like a blanket.

Sakusa took a deep breath and shook out his arms. "Much better."

The starlight and warm glow leaking from the barn danced over Sakusa's features. His strong nose, the delicate moles above his eyebrows, his brow bone over those rich eyes, the curls crowning his beautiful head.

He could get lost in those pretty eyes. Sakusa was looking up at the stars, but Atsumu was only looking at him.

Sakusa glanced over. "Feel better?"

"Yeah, I do. Thanks, Omi." He meant it, surprisingly. He might never be enough for his family and Sakusa might never return his feelings, but he didn't regret bringing him.

Sakusa squared his shoulders. "Miya, I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it to get it through your thick skull: Your need to one-up them is obnoxious. You are far better than any of these people. Not even in the same league."

"Am I?" he wondered honestly in the safety of the dark. "They seem pretty damn happy, and I'm out here sulking. Doesn't really feel like I'm winning."

"They're satisfied with crumbs because they don't have real hunger. There's nothing they've ever wanted so badly that they'd risk making others uncomfortable or straying from what they're told."

Sakusa inhaled and shook out his wrists. "You, on the other hand, make people uncomfortable with how much you want. You dream bigger than they'd ever dare, and you don't prioritize their comfort."

Atsumu stilled. He studied Sakusa's profile, and was struck with deja vu to the locker room. It was stupid and impossible to hope for, and yet. He had to ask.

"Do ya like that 'bout me?"

Sakusa blinked at him curiously in the dark. "You don't need my opinion, Miya," he said cautiously.

"I'm asking fer it."

"Don't. It's creeping me out."

"Humor me, Omi."

He looked at Atsumu like he'd be able to see his thoughts if he just stared hard enough. "Yes, Atsumu, I do like it." he said quietly.

It was all he needed to hear. If Sakusa liked the version of him that took chances, that didn't care what others thought, that was willing to risk comfort for something better, then he had to go for it.

Atsumu straightened his shirt, as if anyone could see it in the dark, and took a steadying breath, "Omi, I'll be honest. I like ya so much. I've been trying really hard not to, since I didn't want to make ya uncomfortable, but I'm not sure it's possible anymore. I'm not tellin' ya to make things weird, but I think ya deserve to know."

Sakusa's eyes widened. "What."

He cleared his throat self-consciously. "I like yer mean commentary and yer weird habits. I like how ya don't bother being fake nice, but you're nice for real with the team and people ya respect. I think you're beautiful, and interesting, and challenge me, and— Omi?"

Sakusa stepped closer, and leaned in to place a hand on his jaw. "Atsumu," he said softly, "Can I kiss you?"

He swallowed, "Keep sayin' my name like that and ya can do whatever ya want."

"Freak," he said quietly with a teasing smile. And then he pulled Atsumu's face forward to meet his.

Their lips met gently, brushing together chastely for a quick peck. Atsumu moved to pull back, but Sakusa chased him, and pulled them back together.

This time he kissed with purpose, drawing Atsumu's bottom lip between his and making Atsumu's toes curl as they moved slowly. His hand scratched at Atsumu's undercut as the other cupped his jaw and held him still. When Atsumu tentatively swiped his tongue over Sakusa's lip, Sakusa made a small sound that had Atsumu feeling like he was going to pass out.

He pulled back before he lost all common sense on the lawn of the barn wedding. Distantly, he could hear the music still playing inside and dishes clinking. Sakusa's breathing was still a little fast, and it was making him reconsider whether he even cared about where they were.

"So, wait," Atsumu stopped, trying to order his thoughts. "Does that mean ya like me too?"

Sakusa kicked at the gravel and groaned, "Yes, I fucking like you too, that's the point of all of this." He shifted his weight between his feet and tugged on his curls. "Do you know how long I've tried not to like you? Everyone in the V-league and their mother has liked you. And they don't even know how mean you are or the things you say when you think I won't judge you."

"Omi, what? You actually like me? My personality and everythin'?" He wasn't breathing. This might actually be what took him out, more than the kiss.

Sakusa narrowed his eyes, "You're an asshole."

"And you like it!"

He kicked more gravel and met his eyes, "Yes." Atsumu could see him flushing in the dark.

Atsumu blew out a breath and laughed. "Wow, I can't believe it. Fer the record, I like yer personality too." He fidgeted with his sleeves, "I dunno if ya feel it too, but setting for ya is addicting. It's like I just wanted more and more with each crumb you'd give me, and what started as on-court chemistry became me just wantin' all of ya."

Sakusa smirked, "Yeah, you called your mom to talk about how good I am."

Atsumu flushed. "Shut up."

Sakusa smiled tauntingly, "But I thought you liked my mean comments?"

Atsumu bit his lip and looked him up and down, "I do." He hoped it looked sexy and not cringe.

Sakusa shoved him lightly but couldn't stop the smile that peeked through."Shut up."

Atsumu chuckled. "Want to get out of here fer real and make out somewhere else?"

"God yes, please." Sakusa answered.

Atsumu grinned. He'd started this whole mess because he wanted to impress people who never gave a damn anyways, and somehow he'd ended up stealing away into the night with the one person who had already seen him for who he was. Luck really did favor the hot and charming, and he was hungry for so much more.