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Rhodey: Okay but what do you like about him?
Tony: Besides the obvious, you mean?
Tony: What's not to like about him?
Tony: His laugh...
Tony: His accent...
Rhodey: Hist thirst for human blood?
Tony: His intelligence...
Tony: Hey! Not fair, Honey Bear
Tony: It's not like he really has a thirst for human blood. He just needs it to live. That's respectable.
Tony: Besides, it's kind of endearing.
Rhodey: ...
Rhodey: You did not just say that. You did not actually just say that. I refuse to believe that you just told me that your BOYFRIEND drinking human blood is ENDEARING.
Tony: I'm pretty sure it's animal blood.
Tony: Like, seventy-eight percent sure
Rhodey: SVENTY EIGHT??!!
Tony: *Seventy. Was that supposed to be a vampire joke?
Rhodey: NO. Tony, no.
Rhodey: Now please tell me how your messed up brain seems to think that drinking blood is endearing of all things?
Rhodey: God sometimes I think that I'm the only rational one in this friendship.
Tony: You, my dear friend, are anything but rational.
Tony: And it's endearing because he hasn't tried to eat my blood, which has to count for something.
Tony: It's kind of sweet, actually.
Tony: And I've offered. It's not like it's his fault that he has to drink blood to live.
He's actually a very intelligent being.
Rhodey: TMI, Tones. TMI. Please never tell me anything about your boyfriend again.
Tony: He's great with his mouth.
Rhodey: Tony I swear to god.
Rhodey: I'm going to need to bleach my eyes.
Rhodey: Seriously, though. Is he really not a rebound from Ty?
Tony: No.
Tony: He's not.
Tony: and remember when I told you not to mention me and Ty? We're done.
Rhodey: So you serial date blondes now?
Tony: I did not say that.
Tony: And I broke up with him, so this definitely isn't a rebound.
Rhodey: HmmmMmmm
Tony: What's that supposed to mean?
Tony: If you're trying to make the sound that Jasper makes while drinking blood it's not working.
Rhodey: Okay I did NOT need THAT VISUAL
Rhodey: And you're changing the subject. Ty manipulated you and then told you that you broke up with him.
Rhodey: I was there. I'm pretty sure that he was the one that broke up with you.
Tony: Whatever.
Tony: Maybe I can get my hot vampire boyfriend to drink my ex's blood.
Rhodey: Something is seriously wrong with you