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“But sir, it’s the semi-finals, we have to go!” Moxxie pleaded with Blitzø, a paper flyer advertising the trivia tournament clutched tightly in his claws.
The staff of IMP were sitting around the conference room table together enjoying their lunches.
“And who knows how often Moxx and I will be able to go once the baby is here,” Millie added as she scarfed down her second cheese, pickle, hot sauce and sardine sandwich. At least once they were in her mouth they no longer stunk up the place, not that anyone was brave enough to point out the unpleasant aroma of Millie’s current pregnancy craving to her.
“Christ on a stick, that brat isn’t even born yet and it’s already ruining my life,” Blitzø mumbled as he took a bite of his own sandwich.
Millie’s knife slammed down into the table right beside where his hand used to be. She stared at him, eyes wide and dilated pupils vibrating within her glowing amber eyes.
“I’m sorry, did you say something, boss?” She asked through gritted teeth and the most forced smile he had ever seen.
Blitzø sunk into his chair and shook his head violently, “Nope, everything is a-ok over here, Millie Billie!”
“I don’t understand why you don’t want to go. It actually sounds like fun,” Stolas commented nonchalantly as he munched on his salad.
“Errr… well….,” Blitzø looked back at M&M for support.
They knew why. It was the same reason why Blitzø had missed last month’s trivia night as well.
It had only been six weeks since Sinsmas, since Octavia had cast Stolas out of her life, and completely shattered his heart. At first, the owl had acted like this was just how things were now. Octavia was gone and all he had to do was move on with his life.
That lasted about a week.
Once the acceptance had really set in, Stolas was almost unconsolable. It had taken Blitzø everything in his power to drag the owl to the office every day, and that was mostly just so Blitzø could watch him. The rest of the time, Stolas just stayed curled up on the couch. Sometimes there were tears, other times there were soft moans, but the most concerning was when there was just silence as he stared off into the distance.
Blitzø did nothing during those weeks but stay by his bird’s side. Hang outs with Fizz were cancelled, outings with Loona were pushed to later, and interactions with M&M were resigned to work only. While everyone could agree that Stolas had been a lot better these last few weeks, Blitzø still wasn’t ready to leave him on his own. It had been such an uphill struggle to get to this point, where things were kinda okay, that he was scared that anything could push Stolas off the edge again.
“Well you better figure it out, cause Gigi and I won’t be covering for you this time,” Loona said as she typed on her phone.
“Blitzø! We’ll have to forfeit!” Moxxie yelled as he grabbed onto the collar of Blitzø’s jacket and shook him.
Blitzø slapped Moxxie across the face, causing him to let go, “Get a hold of yourself, Moxx! Christ on stick, it’s just a fucking game.”
“But we’ve never gotten this far before, sir!”
“Blitzø,” Stolas placed a hand on his shoulder, “you should go.”
“Stols…”
“You could join us too, Your Highness.”
“Me?” Stolas asked, a slight trill escaping his beak.
“Yeah! It’s a team of four, and if Loona can’t make it-,” Millie started.
“-Fuck no.” Loona deadpanned.
“-then we still need two more players. So, whaddya say, boys?”
Blitzø and Stolas shared a look, neither wanting to be the first to speak, but both wanting to go.
“It’s ok,” Stolas turned away from Blitzø and poked at his salad, “if you’d rather I didn’t-“
“-I DO!”
Everyone—even Loona—stopped and stared at Blitzø.
He cleared his throat and grabbed Stolas’s hand, “I mean, we do. Right, gang?”
Millie and Moxxie nodded and added their own words of encouragement.
Stolas smiled at Blitzø, which made his heart beat so hard he was worried it would beat right out of his chest.
“I’m looking forward to it.”
~ ~ ~
Stolas kept his eyes down as he got out of the van, his fingers tracing the cuff of his sweater in a never-ending cycle.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have come.”
“What?” Blitzø asked as he led him to the bar’s entrance. “Why? Are you not feeling ok?”
“It’s not that, I just… I don’t know how useful I’ll be.”
“What? What are you talking about, big bird? You’re the smartest person I know, always talking with your fancy ass rich people words.”
“That may be so, Blitzø, but I don’t know anything about bars.”
“What?” Blitzø opened the door, gesturing for Stolas to enter.
Moxxie spotted them immediately and began waving with exaggerated, full-arm swings from the table he shared with Millie in the back.
“Oh, so when you said bar trivia, you meant trivia at a bar,” Stolas clarified as he took in their surroundings.
“Yeah, of course. What else would it mean?” Blitzø asked as he held out a chair for Stolas.
Stolas took his seat beside Moxxie. The small, round table offered the four demons a little pocket of space amongst the bar’s lively atmosphere, its intimate size making it easy for them to hear one another without having to shout over the other demons. A booklet of answer sheets and a pen sat at the center, the pages already marked with the team name, Intoxicated Minded Professionals, in Moxxie’s careful penmanship. Beside it rested a small wicker basket and a single candle, its warm glow filtering through the colorful pieces of a mosaic votive. The chairs were unusually tall, a welcome convenience for Stolas, whose long legs would have struggled to find a comfortable place beneath the table. At the front of the bar, a projection flickered across a screen, announcing the Trivia Semi-Finals.
“Intoxicated Minded Professionals?” Stolas asked as he peered at the booklet. It was mostly blank pages with pre-printed spots for their answers.
“Yes, you see, it’s a play on I.M.P-,” Moxxie started.
“-You’re right, Stols! It doesn’t make any sense if we’re not intoxicated. First round is on me!” Blitzø cheered as he headed to the bartender.
“I’m sorry, I hope I’ll actually be of some help to you all,” Stolas said shyly as his fingers continued their fidgeting under the table.
Millie placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, “you’re gonna do great, Stolas.”
“Yes, Your Highness! You’ll be a real asset to the team!”
Stolas smiled at them, but the worry still showed in his eyes.
The married couple exchanged a look.
“Stolas… did Blitzø explain anything to you about tonight?” He shook his head, his eyes still focused downward.
“Of course,” Moxxie tsk’d as he squeezed the space between his eyes.
“It’s quite simple, Your Highness. There’s five rounds of ten questions each. We will work as a team to answer as many correctly as we can. The two teams that get the most correct will move on to the finals next month.”
“And the baskets?”
“Oh, those are for our phones. Can’t have people cheating by lookin’ stuff up online. We gotta put them in there once the round starts. If anyone touches them, their team will be disqualified.”
“Ok, let’s get intoxicated, bitches!” Blitzø cheered as he slammed his armful of drinks on the table.
He smiled with a glint in his eye as he passed out the drinks: three wet pussy shots, a soda and a virgin shot for Millie, a rye on the rocks for him, and two fruity something or others with fruit and umbrellas for Moxxie and Stolas. Each member picked up their shots and clinked them together as they shouted “cheers.”
From the corner of his eye, Blitzø thought he saw Millie throw her shot over her shoulder. He must have been mistaken though since she wiped her mouth as she slammed her glass down.
“Ok, everybody! We’re gonna get this show started in just a few minutes!” The imp hostess loudly exclaimed as she grabbed the mic from in front of the screen. “Make sure you have your team name written on all your answer sheets. Getting your answer sheet to me first will earn you bonus points!”
“Fuck yeah,” Blitzø growled.
“Last call to grab your drinks and drain the lizard, and good luck to our four teams!” The hostess finished with a wave.
“Ok, so here’s our strategy,” Moxxie said, leaning in closely to everyone. “I’ll write down our answers. All answers are just whispers between us. You think you know it? Just answer it. Once we’re done, Millie or Blitzø will get our answers to the hostess. By any. Means. Necessary. Got it?”
The rest of the team nodded in unison, each face set with quiet determination.
“Were you able to determine the theme?” Millie asked Moxxie.
“Negative.”
“So we’re going in blind,” Blitzø smiled as he cracked his knuckles, “looks like we’ll just have to wing it.”
“Ok, ladies, gentlemen, those who identify as neither and those who identify as both, let’s get started!” The hostess yelled into the microphone. “That means cell phones in the baskets.” Everyone dutifully obeyed, not wanting to risk disqualification.
“And now.. the moment you’ve all been waiting for..,” she pulled out a single button remote control from her pocket and waved it dramatically in front of the screen.
“Tonight’s theme is…,” she pressed the button, causing the projection on the screen to change. “General knowledge!”
A few of the tables murmured amongst themselves. Blitzø, Millie and Moxxie smiled confidently at each other. Stolas shrunk in his seat, his previous confidence leaving his body.
“Our first round,” the hostess clicked her remote, “is ‘Ripped from the Headlines.’ All the questions are going to be about recent events.”
Blitzø and Stolas shared a quick glance. Stolas’s fall from grace had been all anyone could talk about for weeks. Stolas found he couldn’t even go back to enjoying the morning paper because he never knew when he’d come across a photo of himself at the grocery store, or the laundromat. Even now, Blitzø was still beating up the occasional paparazzi who dared tried to snap a photo of his bird.
Thank Lucifer it wasn’t that bad. Between the four of them, they were able to answer each question quickly and assertively. Millie only had to remind Blitzø to watch his volume once, when she noticed another table leaning trying to hear his overly animated explanation.
Moxxie quickly wrote their last answer on the sheet, the edge of his pointed tongue sticking out of his mouth in concentration.
“Done!” He yelled as he sat up, signalling Blitzø into action.
Blitzø hopped onto the table, grabbing the sheet in his hand and launched himself towards the stage. He leapt from table to table with the grace of a cat, cutting in front of the other demons headed towards their shared goal.
Only an incubus/imp hybrid stood between him and the stage. Blitzo jumped off the table, landing squarely in the middle of his competition’s back, knocking him to the floor. He handed the answer sheet to the hostess, shooting her finger guns as he walked back to his table.
“Mission accomplished,” Blitzø winked at his team as he hopped back into his chair.
Or he would have if he hadn’t miscalculated the distance, completely missing the seat and landing on the other side, landing face first into the floor.
“Blitzø!” Stolas leaned down and picked him up off of the floor. “Are you alright, darling?”
Blitzø’s heart gave an utterly ridiculous little leap at the familiar term of endearment. One stupid, affectionate little nickname, and suddenly his chest felt too tight and his stomach was doing acrobatics worthy of Fizz’s circus act. He hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed hearing the pet name that used to fill him with such anger.
He stared up at the bird, warmth creeping into his cheeks. He quickly turned his face away, hoping to spare himself the embarrassment of Stolas noticing just how thoroughly a single word had reduced him to a blushing, lovesick mess.
“Yep, a-okay, Stols.”
“Ok, time for round two!” The hostess clicked her remote again. The projected slide now read “Commercials.”
“This is going to be an audio round. I’ll play a clip of a commercial, you write down what product they’re selling.”
“Oh, we got this one in the bag,” Millie grinned as she looked at her team.
The round went very easily. They answered most of the questions before the clips had even finished playing. While Blitzø and Millie answered the majority of the questions, Stolas had been the one to identify the Wacky Charms’ jingle first.
Blitzø felt a warmth settle into his chest as he watched the owl loosen up, lower his walls, and joke around with M&M. He knew how hard it felt to fall, and Stolas had fallen so far. But, unlike Blitzø, he wasn’t alone, and Blitzø would do everything in his power to make sure that Stolas always knew that.
Moxxie thrust the answer sheet in front of Blitzø’s face, snapping him back to reality. They had answered it so quickly that Blitzø didn’t even need his impressive parkour skills to get to the stage this time.
“Hope all you trivia freaks are ready for round three! The theme of this round is,” the hostess waited a moment to build up suspense before clicking her button, “human myths!”
The team smiled at each other as they settled closer together in the middle of the table.
“Question one, this creature is said to live in the Pacific Northwest of the United States and is known for his oversized pedes.”
“Big foot,” Moxxie and Stolas said in unison.
“Not anymore. We killed that guy,” Blitzø said as he took a swig of his drink.
“You did no such thing. You killed some random human in a cheap costume,” Stolas retorted.
“Hey-“
“Question two, legends describe him as all covered in red, always smiling and travels via reindeer.”
Blitzø, M&M and Stolas exchanged worried looks.
“Krampus?” Moxxie whispered.
“Ah think that’s the one that looks like a deer,” Millie shook her head.
“Isn’t it that Sinner overlord? I think I saw him on 666 News recently.”
“I don’t think Overlords count as a myth, Your Highness.”
“Well, fuck,” Stolas slumped back in his chair.
Millie jabbed Blitzø in the ribs. Hard. He turned to her with a confused frown, only to find her staring at him wide-eyed before flicking her gaze toward the Asmodean crystal on his glove.
“Ooooooooh,” he looked up at the hostess to see if she was paying attention to them. Luckily for him, she was currently tapping away on her phone.
“I need to take a piss,” he whispered to the table before stealthily disappearing into the washroom.
Stolas spent the next few questions stealing glances at the washroom. Question three through nine had already been asked and Blitzø still hadn’t returned yet.
Millie placed a hand on Stolas’s, pulling him away from his worried thoughts.
“You ok, hun?”
“Yes, I’m just concerned about Blitzø. I’m quite familiar with the timing of his washroom visits–,” he realized what he had said and stared wide-eyed at the two imps. He started frantically waving his hands, “Because we live together! Not for anything untoward.”
Millie giggled, “it’s fine, Stolas. And don’t worry about Blitzø, he’ll be right back.”
Blitzø ran out of the washroom at that moment, as if Millie had magically conjured him.
“Santa!” He stage-whispered to Moxxie as he hopped onto his chair. “Question two was Santa Claus.”
“Did your piss tell you that, sir?”
“Moxxie, I swear to all that’s evil if you don’t–“
“Question ten! This creature is usually shown as pure white with wings. It’s said to have been Zeus’s steed, born from the blood of Medusa.”
“Pegasus!” Stolas almost shouted at Moxxie as he leaned excitedly over the table.
“Got it! Mills?” She happily took the piece of paper and violently made her way to the stage, knocking over anyone who dared stand in her way.
“That’s the mother of my child,” Moxxie sighed happily as he watched Millie complete her path of destruction.
“How do you know about Pegasus?” Blitzø asked Stolas.
“Oh, it’s a constellation,” Stolas smiled, his gaze growing soft and distant. “You see, as a reward for his loyalty, courage, and service, Zeus placed Pegasus among the stars in the northern sky. It’s mostly viewable during autumn and is most recognizable by its distinctive square shape. You might be interested to know that Markab is the brightest star in Pegasus. It is a giant star in the late stages of its evolution-“
Stolas stopped mid sentence, his beak suddenly filled with Blitzø’s soft lips. His eyes widened in shock at first, then closed as his whole body melted into his warmth. The familiar taste and feel of Blitzø filled Stolas with a calm emotion he couldn’t quite identify, but it instantly reminded him of how much he had missed his imp and this part of their relationship.
Blitzo pulled away from him, his face dark with blush and his eyes half lidded.
“Have I ever told you how fucking sexy you are when you talk all nerdy like that?”
All common sense left Stolas’s brain and the words that he loved so much failed him, leaving him only able to respond with an unintelligible bird sound that almost sounded more like something you’d hear from a squeaky toy rather than an 8 foot tall owl demon.
“Oh crumbs! Sir, could you not have waited until after the competition to break his brain? We needed him!”
“Ok, everyone! We’re gonna have a fifteen minute intermission before we finish our last two rounds,” the hostess announced as Blitzø gave Moxxie a knowing smile.
Thankfully, Stolas was able to regain his senses before the intermission had ended. His hand spent the rest of the night firmly interlocked with Blitzø’s, whose tail was also wrapped tightly around his long ankle. Except, of course, for when Blitzø needed to run their answer sheet to the stage.
After two more intense rounds, the hostess went back to the stage to announce the winners.
“Ok everyone, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for,” she waved a sheet of paper over her head, “it’s time to announce our winners. In fourth place we have ‘Smarty Pints.’ In third, ‘Quizzy McQuizzface.’ Thanks for joining this year’s trivia tournament. Better luck next year.
“Now, for second place, we have ‘Tequila Mockingbird.’ They’ll be taking on our first place winners at next month’s finals, Intoxicated Minded Professionals!”
The rest of the crowd politely clapped, punctuated with a few grumbles and jeers while I.M.P shouted and cheered, the two couples hugging their partners and bouncing up and down with excitement.
“Did you have fun, Your Highness?”
“Oh yes! That was quite thrilling,” Stolas affectionately stroked one of Blitzø’s horns as they made their way out of the bar.
“Great! So you can help us take on those chumps at next month’s finales, right?”
Stolas stared at Moxxie, “Next month? You’d like me to join you again?”
“Of course! You’re our friend, Your Highness, we like spending time with you.”
“Oh!” Stolas stopped walking as he covered his beak. Tears lined his bottom eyes.
“Stols? You ok, pretty bird?”
Stolas wiped his eyes and nodded, taking Blitzø’s hand in his.
“Yes, darling. I… I just never had so many friends before.”
“We’ll hang onto your tail feathers cause we’re gonna get you a few more. But just friends, cause your ass is mine.”
Stolas smiled and leaned down to Blitzø, capturing his lips in another kiss.
“Always, darling.”