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jeongyo’s shoulder is aching again, it aches whenever it rains. he blames the cold, and it’s not all wrong. but it isn’t the cold in the literal sense that causes that throbbing and pounding in his shoulder, it’s the lack of warmth. the warmth a certain someone stripped away from him nine years ago.
he rushes to the shower to run some warm water on it, trying his best to thaw out the ice that is freezing him in time, stuck at the one moment where he fell into the river, fresh gunshot wound coming into contact with the contaminated water.
after a few moments, he switches off the tap and grabs a towel to dry the area. he applies a cream the doctor recommended, followed by a plaster over it.
as he was putting his shirt back on, he heard the doorbell ring, but he wasn’t expecting anyone. so instead he took his own sweet time to answer the door.
he wished he hadn’t.
kang pio is standing on the other side of the door, smile plastered across his face, though for some reason, something feels off.
“go home!” jeongyo shouts at the door, but more knocking follows. “i have something to confess, you should open up.” now that interests jeongyo. he opens the door for pio, although not sparing him any of the formalities.
he feels his hatred boil when pio makes himself comfortable on his sofa, eyes watching as jeongyo also made his way to the sofa. those eyes that jeongyo once loved, but now carried deep resentment for.
“so, what is it that you want to tell me?”
“jeongyo-ah”, pio still used the same honorific even though jeongyo insisted on his amnesia. it hurts to believe that pio is still offering the same kindness and sanctuary he once did, especially after all the harm he inflicted. “do you remember what happened nine years ago?”
“no,” jeongyo lied through his teeth, face still smiling, “why?”
he watched as pio took a deep breath, staring down at his lap before looking back up at jeongyo. “it was me. i-i was such a fool. i know i shouldn’t have done that. the whole competition stress was acting on me, it was all my fault.”
jeongyo watched in disbelief as those eyes released tears down his slimmer cheeks. he didn’t say a word, just watched as he broke down. why did he deserve any comforting?
after a while, pio had sobered up, eyes slightly swollen and red. he was smiling instead now, a stark contrast to just minutes before.
“jeongyo-ah, you remember, don’t you? i could tell from practice today. ‘not like before?’ so you do remember how it was like when we played together. i was so glad.”
“then i guess i should stop faking it. i remember every second and moment, from when i was pushed into that car, to being shot into a random river in prague. i remember everything, every emotion, every sliver of pain.” jeongyo felt some satisfaction in revealing the truth to pio.
“so is nemesis about me?”
“nemesis can only convey a fraction of the pain i felt when you left me for a stupid competition prize.”
“jeongyo-ah, will you be able to let this go. i hate seeing you waste your talent on this revenge against me. if i die, will this all end?” who was kang pio to try pleading to him?
“kang pio, don’t you dare go dying in front of me. i am the only one who gets to decide your fate. i’m the only one who gets to play judge.” jeongyo’s fury rose as each second passed.
pio reaches for his bag.
he pulls out a knife.
“do you think you can just kill me like this again? i’m not going to go that easily.”
“jeongyo-ah, i can’t ever hurt you. you’re too special to me. this is for you.” pio’s eyes started watering. “i want you to be the one who kills me.”
“kang pio, don’t get on my nerves.”
“i don’t want you to be so caught up on this revenge. your musical talent should be shared with the world, not wasted on tormenting me. this is not your purpose. i have everything prepared, so please, just end it all right now. i’m begging you.” pio shifts closer to jeongyo. jeongyo doesn’t say a word.
“if you can’t cut the chains tying you to your cage yourself, let me be the one who cuts it.”
before jeongyo could even process what pio said, he saw the shiny surface lift higher, and slide right across pio’s throat.
jeongyo instinctively leapt forward to catch his falling body. he drags the body down to the ground with him, trying his best to catch the blood flowing down his neck, as if it could help.
“kang pio! what was that for?” jeongyo doesn’t even register that he’s sobbing, and horribly so. his hands find their way to pio’s, holding them tight as he felt them shiver slightly.
“jeongyo, let it go. let me go. it’s time to move on.” pio still has to audacity to smile at this moment, his eyes filled with unrecognisable warmth.
“pio-ah, you weren’t supposed to go like this. i-i didn’t allow for this.” jeongyo doesn’t care that he let that honorific slip.
“is it too selfish for me to ask for one last wish? could you stay with me for just a while more?” those were pio’s last words, before his eyes closed and his head dropped on jeongyo’s lap.
jeongyo held onto him until he felt the tips of his fingers go cold, now having to come to terms that pio was really gone.
jeongyo screams into the silent night, angry, frustrated, disappointed at pio, at himself.
it is said in the last moments of one’s life, memories of the most important people would play out like a movie montage. jeongyo didn’t have to wait to death.
it takes loss to recognise the value of what one had, and jeongyo could feel that. he held onto pio the whole night, praying that somehow this was just an awfully sick joke pio had orchestrated. but he waited and waited, and pio’s body remained lifeless in his arms, getting colder and colder by the second.
when the first rays of sunlight shone through the living room, jeongyo was still holding pio’s lifeless body. he no longer had a grasp of how fast time flew. sometime while the sun was still up, his door had flew open.
jeongyo doesn’t turn back to check who it was. he heard her voice though.
“choi jeongyo, have you seen—“ followed by a visceral screen that didn’t seem to faze jeongyo.
jaein rushed to his side. she did something and later, paramedics arrived at his house. jeongyo was reluctant to let go of his body, but he had no choice.
jeongyo felt as lifeless as the corpse he had to watch be put in a body bag.
maybe the revenge he had planned all along was a time bomb waiting to set off. the aftermath was just mass destruction, for his victims and himself.
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