Archive of Our Own

It doesn't seem like Seokjin meant to ask the question, his eyebrows raising a little immediately after it passed his sometimes annoyingly perfect lips. And, the funny thing is, Jeongguk wouldn't even blame him if he wanted to recant it because it was a serious offer. He's ready to poise himself and put on an expression that isn't wide, edit, wide eyes and open, open mouth when Seokjin's own expression settles and he asks it again.

This time, when he says it, it feels real. Intentional. Like he thought about it, like he meant it. And Jeongguk goes back to looking like a shocked emotion from the early 2000s. 

"Will you move in with me?"

Now, if Cameron Crowe's older, and much, much superior, films have taught him anything, it's that moments like these are defined by an answer. "Yes" and he could very well be carried off into the sunset like a perfect happy ending with Rusted Root playing in a distance. 

"No" and, well, this could be the scene that starts his spiral into further self hatred. 

Fuck, Seokjin's had him watch too many movies.

"You don't have to say yes," Seokjin laughs a little, cheeks rosy red and warm as the hot fudge he's pouring over the fresh batch of brownies. In his custom decorated -- courtesy of Jeongguk himself, thank you very much -- pale pink apron adorned with one small, spatula-holding spongebob and a speech bubble that says "I'M READY", Seokjin looks so...home. "Don't feel pressured."

Jeongguk doesn't stop staring. 

At the side of Seokjin's neck which is long and accented with pretty neck muscles that technically shouldn't be that attractive but are because Seokjin likes doing things he shouldn't. At his broad shoulders and the lean sculpt of his biceps and the slight curve in his lower back. At his adorable back dimples. There were multiple reasons why Seokjin's post-sex cravings were a pain in the ass but a big reason was because he's always too lazy to put proper clothing on before delving into whatever tasty delicacy will satiate him. 

So, here Jeongguk is: wearing his red briefs and his Primal Rage apron baking brownies next to his canary yellow brief wearing boyfriend at two in the morning. Not an ideal position to be asked, let alone to even properly consider, to move in. 

When Seokjin slips a fudge dipped finger into his mouth, he stirs. He closes his mouth around it and holds on until he's sure he's sucked every bit of chocolate away. Then Seokjin pulls out. 

"Why do you ask?"

Seokjin shrugs. Goes back to the brownies, dolling them up for demolishment. "I was doing my laundry the other day and I ended up with most of your clothes."

"That's because you like to steal my hoodies when you think I'm asleep."

"At least I try to be discrete," Seokjin looks at him. "Last time you walked out with your hands full of all my jerseys. You smiled at me."

"It's not like you were gonna wear them."

Seokjin's father was good at sports, nothing short of an athletic legend all throughout high school and college. So, of course, he had Seokjin try out and play for nearly every sport possible until they found a match. And Seokjin, being of sound but clumsy body, sucked at nearly everything. Except hockey. And hockey jerseys, all long sleeved and naturally oversized, are the best kind of jerseys. And Seokjin's hockey jerseys are the best of the best kind of hockey jerseys. 

Seokjin shakes his head. "Again: it's no big deal. I just thought since you're kind of in love with me and since I don't think you're that bad -- also to end the confusion of my missing clothes -- we could just cut out the middleman and move in together. Plus two beautiful people should always live together. It's good luck."

Jeongguk softens. Smiles. "You think I'm beautiful?"

"Eh," Seokjin half shrugs and make a face like he's less than impressed. "A little."

He grabs the ice cream and starts stepping out of the kitchen, leaving the fresh platter of fudge dripping brownies for Jeongguk to carry. 

Jeongguk stares at the brownies. The brownies stare at him. He turns around. "Ask me again."

"Ask what?"

"You know what."

Seokjin smiles. "Answer first."

"Ask again," Jeongguk would never call his tone pleading but it is. "I'm channeling my inner rom-com character here."

"Okay," Seokjin drops down to one knee with a shit-eating grin. "Will you, Jeon Jeongguk, move in with me?"

"Yes."

O N E

"You had to bring all your mangas?"

Jeongguk tries and fails to glare at Seokjin over the tower of cardboard boxes in his arms. "We're really gonna have that talk right now."

They're down to the last few boxes, having started with the heftiest ones first -- the packs of clothes and all the different bags from suitcases to messenger bags -- and dwindling down to the "obscene" amount of knick knacks. Jeongguk's multiple gaming systems, all of his video games, all of his manga, and comic books. 

"I'm just saying, we have the exact same ones."

"I'm not going to ask you to get rid your dolls," Jeongguk argues lightly. "I don't even complain about them watching us when we're having sex."

"They're collectibles."

"They're creepy."

"They're cute," Seokjin argues, holding open the main door with his foot so that Jeongguk can slide through. When he does, the two of them take a simultaneous deep breath and start going up the stairs, Seokjin leading the way.

"You think that but have you had a perfectly good orgasm ruined because when you opened your eyes, you came face to face with a Koopa Troopa? You haven't."

"Mm-hm, well get used to it."

Because Jeongguk's life is perfect, the elevator in Seokjin's -- his? -- apartment is being re-serviced and they've had to haul several boxes up seven flights of stairs. It's not the ideal way he would have liked to work up a sweat with Seokjin but at least he gets the pleasure of Seokjin getting too hot after three trips and foregoing his hoodie in favor for his black tank top. 

"You had to live on the seventh floor?"

Seokjin grunts. "I like the view."

Jeongguk remanuevers the boxes to get the sight of Seokjin's backside and the beads of sweat rolling down his neck. He scopes the strain of Seokjin's muscles. "The view is overrated."

"Huh...I'll remember that next time you beg me to fuck you in front of the window -- oh, sorry!"

Seokjin comes to a complete stop at the top of the stairs and Jeongguk stills, mid-step, behind him. With one foot up on the last step and another low on the previous one, Jeongguk's leg is propped enough for him to rest the boxes against the edge of his knee at least a quarter of the way. 

"Don't apologize now, just see if I--"

"It's okay," another voice chimes in through a short laugh. It's a comforting voice, smooth, and relaxed, and kind. A stranger. Seokjin was apologizing to someone else? Well, damn, let's just see if he gets anymore morning blow jobs. The voice continues. "You're not moving out, are you? We love having you around here."

Seokjin laughs again. He's been giggly today and, even though deep down Jeongguk knows it's because of him, he tells himself he's not sure why. "No. Boyfriend's moving in."

"Boyfriend? Really? Oh, what am I doing? Let me help you."

"You don't have to, you've got--"

"It's one bag, Seokjin. Besides, I wanna see the infamous boyfriend," the stranger sounds unreasonably excited. Then there's some shuffling and one of the boxes is being pulled from the tower, sliding into the stranger's small hands and revealing a handsome face and moon crescent eyes. Hello, stranger. "Oh, you're cute."

"Thank you," Jeongguk says it like a question. The person looking back at him, now carrying the box full of board games, smiles at him. Jeongguk nods at the box. "And thank you again."

"Don't mention it. Welcome to the neighborhood."

Finally, they start moving up the stairs again and Jeongguk's knees basically cry out in relief. Seokjin shouts to the two of them over each step. "Jimin's been my neighbor for a while now, he and his boyfriend are good people."

"Not good enough for you to accept our invites to dinner," Jimin turns around a little and looks down at Jeongguk. "And we've invited him plenty of times."

"And for the billionth time, it's not you, it's me. Editor life is busy."

Jeongguk scoffs. "If by busy, you mean spending majority of your work days watching CinemaSins and actively avoiding real work then, yeah, you're very busy."

"Watch it."

"Ah," Jimin exhales a laugh. "Well, you're gonna like it here. Neighborhood's chill, there's great restaurants everywhere, and no one here is a total asshole. Just part asshole."

Jimin helps them with the last of the boxes and the last of Jeongguk's knick knacks -- "who the hell needs three different skateboards?" -- and only then is Jeongguk able to get a good look at him. He's shorter than him but not small at all, on account of both his toned body and his knockout of smile giving hints at a personality larger than life. They shake hands.

"I didn't get your name," Jimin points out when their hands are still joined and he doesn't let go until Jeongguk utters it. Then repeats it. Slowly. "I like it."

Jeongguk hums a breathless response, still a little light-headed from the trek up the stairs and the consecutive lifting. Jimin had set the box down on the dining room table. Jeongguk nods toward it. "Thanks for carrying that."

"No problem. Well, if you two need any more help, I'll be right next door."

"Sure thing," Jeongguk looks back at the last box, at Jimin's shopping bag still sitting on top and frowns. Two quick strides and he's there grabbing the bag and, either because of fatigue or nerves, his grip falters. The bag falls over. Out pours bottles upon bottles of travel-sized lube, an array of different colored labels for multiple flavors. Cherry red, blue raspberry, pink peach, yellow banana...Who the fuck even likes banana lube? No one in their right mind likes banana flavored lube.

Jimin dives down and starts scooping all of it back into the paper bag, smiling the same but cheeks dusted light pink. As well as Jeongguk knows that proper manners would be to lean down and help out, he can't help but stand frozen and try not to imagine Jimin using that by himself. 

Oh, shit. Too late.

"Sorry about that," he says robotically. Jimin stands up on unsteady feet, gripping the bag in his hand tightly. He smiles like he knows something and steps out without another word.

After every box is unpacked and every single one of Jeongguk's video games is put in the movie display with Seokjin's collection, after all of his clothes are tucked into drawer spaces and hanged in the closet, they run a bath and soak out the kinks in their limbs. Seokjin washes his hair and Jeongguk thinks he should have moved in a long time ago. 

"I could get used to this," he ends up mumbling to Seokjin when he's nearing the other side of slumber. 

"You should," Seokjin mumbles back and the two of them, still warm and in each other's arms, doze off. 

For fifteen straight minutes.

That's when the noises start. The squeaking. At first, what Jeongguk's subconscious comes up with, he thinks it's a hamster running on a rusty wheel. But eventually, with the insistence of the noise comes waking life, he realizes what it is. It's undeniable. Jeongguk has had to deal with after effects of making this noise when he had invited Seokjin to visit his parents and they couldn't, still deep in the honeymoon phase, handle a single night without going at it. He had to deal with it in college when his roommate would have his various girlfriends over regardless of Jeongguk being there or not. Mattress springs.

Seokjin stirs next to him.

"Is that...?"

Seokjin hums something gravelly. "Yeah. Just ignore it."

They lay there for a while. The rhythm of it almost sends Jeongguk back to his sleep if he does his part and ignores the image that comes with it. And even though it's hard not to picture it -- there's something incredibly sweet but very sinful about Park Jimin's entire existence -- he manages. But then the banging starts. Literal banging. Right against the wall. Something heavy and hard hitting at the dry wall in paced succession: headboard. 

"They're really going at it tonight."

Jeongguk has to lift his head a little and look at Seokjin's face because the fucker sounds half impressed. When he does, he sees Seokjin's eyes are still closed. He lays his head back down. And maybe it's the exhaustion of the move, the excitement of the day, whatever -- but whatever it is, Jeongguk finds he can almost -- almost -- get back to sleep. 

Then the moaning starts. 

First, it's high pitched and short, kind of subdued like whoever's on the end of them is trying to keep quiet but knows it's a gratuitous attempt. Lewd fucking moans straight out of the pornos Seokjin swears he doesn't watch but which Jeongguk knows damn well is there hidden in a folder with a gold star emoji. The moans are drawn out and coupled with, of all things, instructions.

"There, there, there. Ah, yes -- fuck! Don't stop, oh my god, please don't stop."

"Why would I stop?"

"I don't," the voice Jeongguk easily recognizes as Jimin breaks off into another lewd moan, this one muffled likely by a pillow or possibly an appendage. "I don't know why you do the things you do, Tae, just don't stop."

"But I wasn't planning on-"

"Shut up."

Jeongguk rolls over and takes a pillow with him, tucks it tight around his head. 

"It won't work," he can make out Seokjin's voice. "I tried that the first time."

"Fuck, oh."

Jeongguk's eyes snap open and he sits up. No wonder he recognized that voice. It was months ago that he slept over and something similar had happened, the squeaking and moaning creating a makeshift soundtrack. He's thankful he couldn't place what was so familiar about Jimin's voice earlier otherwise he wouldn't have been able to look him in the eye. A much deeper voice cuts in through Jimin's moans and, deeply affected, begs in a way that almost sounds endearing if he could please shut up. But apparently, if the way his moans sharply turn into screams, Jimin isn't the kind who likes being told what to do.

"Jesus..."

Seokjin barely turns his head toward him. Cracks one eye open. "Not Jesus. Just Jimin and Taehyung."

"Sir," Jeongguk leans on his elbows and narrows his eyes. "You forgot to mention this dire information before I moved in."

"It came in the brochure."

"Didn't see it."

"Fine print: 'loud neighbors', I couldn't have made it any clearer than that. Just let them finish, it's fine."

"No, go talk to them. Tell them about this new phenomenon called 'manners', ask them if they're interested. They're your neighbors."

Seokjin shakes his head. "They're our neighbors, baby boy. And you've never had to deal with life in an apartment complex, okay? You don't know neighbor etiquette so I'll tell you: you cannot just knock on their door and tell them to stop being so loud."

"Why not?"

"Awkward elevator rides, natural agitation retaliation which means they respond by going back and having even louder sex."

"Have they ever done that to you? I thought they were good neighbors, always inviting you for dinner, offering their help and such."

Jin rolls onto his side and finally opens his eyes, staring at Jeongguk somewhat challengingly. "That's because I haven't told them to stop having loud sex."

Jeongguk hums. "Well, they're my neighbors now too. And I'm gonna tell them to shut the fuck up."

If he stands out in the hallway for another five minutes, there's a chance Seokjin will think he tried and let him come back to bed without much teasing. But he's pretty sure he'll know regardless when the squeaking and the bed frame rocking don't stop. So Jeongguk gives himself five more minutes of simply staring at Jimin's door and trying not to scare himself off. 

No man should have to knock on another man's door to warn him about his sexual prowess. It's just wrong. But it's undoubtedly better than doing nothing and waiting for someone to come. 

So Jeongguk knocks. 

And when that door opens, he wishes he had taken the thirty seconds it took for a response and run away as fast as he could have. Because the guy on the other side of it, standing in the threshold between his apartment and the hallway, hasn't bothered to put on anything more than a tiny pair of red underwear and he's still very, very...erect. Jeongguk is staring at the bulge and he stares at it too long but he can't tear his eyes away when he should because there's big and then there's--

"Yeah?"

"I..." Jeongguk finally looks up at he swallows hard. The guy is young, probably close to his own age, and he's got a smile  that burns bright like the three suns on that new far off planet. He looks kind of docile and harmless, not at all like a guy who's just been torn away from getting a nut. "Um..."

"Hey, you're the new neighbor, aren't you?" His smile widens. "Jimin mentioned you. The cute one."

"Yeah," Jeongguk scratches the back of his neck. For a few moments, it's just the sounds of Taehyung still trying to catch his breath, Jeongguk's own heart pounding in his ears, and Sade playing low on the stereo. "Listen--"

"I'm Taehyung, by the way."

Taehyung offers a hand but immediately thinks better of it and takes it away just as fast it's not fast enough for Jeongguk to miss the monstrosity of a vision that will plague him with nightmares for the rest of his life. Taehyung's hand, large and still balled into a fist, cloaked under a lube soaked condom i.e.: the most horrific image Jeongguk couldn't come up with in his wildest imagination.

"Sorry."

Jeongguk blinks. "Please just keep it down a little. We're trying to sleep and it's just...you guys are, like, really loud."

He doesn't even looked fazed. At least Jimin had the decency to blush a little bit when all of his lube fell out on the floor. But not Taehyung. Not even the tiniest glimmer of embarrassment crosses his face for a second. Instead, he smiles again. "Yeah, sure thing--"

"Taehyung!"

Taehyung jumps. He looks behind him for a second before looking back. "Sorry, Jimin's a very impatient person, it was nice meeting you. And oh, hold on."

"No, I really don't want--"

The door shuts in his face and he swallows down the rest of his sentence. He's only known Taehyung for all of sixty seconds and the guy has already managed to make him regret his new address. 

The door opens again and Taehyung is shoving a dish into his hands.

"Jimin made this for you. A house warming gift, if you will," he leans forward. "But between you and me, neither one of us is especially good at anything aside from eating food. So, it's a little -- don't tell him I said that. I gotta go, nice meeting you."

Jeongguk looks down at the dish. Some kind of casserole that manages to look undercooked and burnt at the same time. And through it all, all he can think about is whether or not Taehyung used his condom hand to grab it.

As Taehyung saunters back into the bedroom, settles back into his original position, before Jimin whimpers in anticipation, he whispers: 

"You really have to shut up or I might have to gag you with your own underwear."

"Kinky."

T W O

Jeongguk doesn't hate his life.

He actually likes it.

Sure, every now and then he'll read about some whiz kid who invented a life changing medication or a new filmmaker on the scene whose quickly making a name for themselves, and he'll get that tiny voice clamoring at his insides telling him he's not good enough, asking him what the hell he's doing with his life.

But for the most part, he's okay with his life and he's not rushing his career. There's nothing wrong, he has to remind himself daily, with being ordinary. And being ordinary has its perks. But days like this are the days when he'd rather stop existing than have to go into his ordinary job where he's treated like shit. 

Being a barista is great because making drinks, despite the irateness of the customers, is fun and relaxing at the same time. But the customers' irateness is often the only thing that makes him want to quit his day job for a life of professional laziness. 

When he walks into his apartment, straight into Seokjin's office and sits himself down on the older's lap, he almost feels okay. A hand comes up and rests against his side. "Bad day?"

Jeongguk nods into his neck. "Have you ever had anyone throw an extra hot caramel macchiato at you because it's 'too cold'?"

Seokjin makes a noise, a sympathetic whine as he pulls him in closer and holds on tight. He smells like cherry blossom air freshener. "Want me to kill them for you?"

"Would you?"

"Duh. Just need help dumping the body."

"I know just the place."

"Don't worry about that, the murdering is on me. We'll make Jaehwan hide the body before making an escape to Argentina."

Jeongguk manages a laugh, a genuine one that upturns the corner of his mouth and makes his chest feel light. "I'll hold you to it."

When Jeongguk first told Yugyeom that he was planning to go out with Seokjin, Yugyeom had teased him relentlessly about it. 

"You mean all that time you spent taking up space on his lap you weren't already dating?" He'd laughed and pushed at Jeongguk's shoulder. "I'm kidding, you guys are good together. You like to be babied and he likes to baby you."

It was true that Seokjin sometimes treated him like he was more of a kid that had to be taken care of than a boyfriend. But only sometimes. The perverted part integral to Seokjin's nature made it impossible for him to treat him like a child twenty four-seven. After all, more often than not, he woke Jeongguk up with nipple pinches and hicks. But even so, he did a good job of taking care of Jeongguk and an even better job of taking care of him after a hard day. 

Even though he has a deadline to complete this film by, one that's closely impending, he steps away from editing to run Jeongguk a bath. He puts on the Almost Famous soundtrack and lights candles in the bathroom. Post-terrible day comforting was something Seokjin took seriously. 

When he gets out of his bath, there's a large well done square cut pizza waiting for him with half of it baked with pineapple slices. There's his PS4 set up in the living room with a well built fort built up in front of their large screen television where Overwatch is ready for him. 

He puts his hands deep in the pockets of one of Seokjin's robes. "God, you really love me."

Seokjin shrugs. "You're alright. Come on, let's play."

They're fifteen minutes into playing when Jeongguk forgets why he was even upset in the first place, the sound of the customer's nasally voice and the feeling of the steamed milk a mere memory of a far off past. They're one hour into it when Jeongguk moves from his original position on top of a throw pillow to his preferred and most prized position on top of Seokjin's lap. They're three hours into it when they finish the pizza and Seokjin nestles his chin onto Jeongguk's shoulder, keeping his arms in front of his waist, and still working the controller as if he has a chance of winning. They're four hours into it when Jeongguk starts getting out of it, leaning further back into Seokjin's chest and turning his head to press kisses along the older's jaw.

He keeps one eye on the game, barely paying attention and barely playing, mostly focused on just how warm Seokjin's skin feels against his lips. Seokjin turns slowly, his own eyes still on the screen, and captures Jeongguk's lips instead. He starts kissing more eagerly, parting his lips and nipping at Jeongguk's. 

Jeongguk hums. "Pause it."

"No."

"Pause it."

Seokjin dips down a little and kisses Jeongguk's neck, opening his mouth and using that stupid tongue of his that Jeongguk always claims he likes better in his mouth (even though that's not always true). "Why? You after my high score?"

"You're after mine, pause it."

Jeongguk turns away and quickly pauses it, kicks their two controllers away from their tent and turns around in Seokjin's lap. He dives right back into kissing, not even dancing around it with gratuitous foreplay and teasing like Seokjin enjoys. He licks the inside of the older's mouth, presses down until Seokjin lays down, keeping his arms around Jeongguk's waist. 

He really knows how to make a bad day good.

It's not as feverish as the kisses that usually lead to Jeongguk having a sore throat and Seokjin having hicks all over his neck. It's soft. But it's everything Jeongguk needs. And he probably would have continued to enjoy it. But then something slams against the wall and, like clockwork, a voice that must be Taehyung's cries out. 

"What the fuck?"

"Does it hurt?"

"No but...warning next time."

"I told you I was coming."

"I thought you -- fuck!"

They turn to look at each other, Seokjin's eyes suddenly going sympathetic. Jeonngguk shakes his head and lets his head fall against Seokjin's chest. "I can't tonight."

"No, no," Seokjin sits up and gently pushes Jeongguk off of him. "Today, I'll take care of it. You've already had a shitty day, I'm not gonna make you handle them."

It takes a long time for anyone to come to the door. 

Seokjin tries and fails not to imagine why that is but from what he heard, someone must have been experiencing bottom life for the first time. He waits and waits and almost knocks again when Jimin opens the door and dodges his fist with the most annoying cute smile a person could possibly have. "Hey, hyung."

"Hey," Seokjin deadpans. "Please stop fucking so loudly."

Jimin's chest heaves as he tilts his head to the side. "We're not fucking."

"Jimin..."

"We're not fucking yet."

"Look, you know I normally wouldn't dare tell you guys how to live your sex lives but Jeongguk's had a shitty day and whatever you're experiencing with -- stop right there: I do not want to know -- is not helping. So, please, I swear this is the only time I'll ever bother you about this but go easy on him tonight."

Jimin rolls his eyes. "It's not like he hasn't had a dildo up his--"

"Stop. Go easy on Jeongguk, that's what I was saying. Do whatever you want with your boyfriend, he's yours."

"Oh," Jimin offers a sheepish smile. Then his expression turns to serious and he leans his head against the doorframe. "But listen Taehyung had a bad day today too, I'm just trying to help him out."

Seokjin knows damn well he could spend an hour or so listing all the possible things that Jimin could have done to cheer Taehyung up. And oddly none of them would involve a dildo up the ass. But he just sighs. "Next time, just...ice cream helps for that kind of thing."

"I did give him ice cream," Jimin challenges him with an even stare for all of ten seconds before folding and looking down at the floor with a semblance of shame. "Then I kind of sucked his dick but that really turned his mood around."

Seokjin narrows his eyes. "There's such a thing as too much information and most people have the ability to tell when they're relaying it. Just a note."

Jimin hums. "Okay. Sorry. I'll tell him to shut up."

"Thank you. Really, I appreciate it."

As Seokjin is stepping away, Jimin calls him again. "Tell the cutie I said feel better, okay?"

"I will," Seokjin thinks about it. "Go easy on Taehyung too."

Jimin tries lifting his hand and touching hit to his forehead, probably ready to say something cheeky like "aye aye captain" but such a move usually works better when you're not holding a dildo with it. Seokjin gags at the sight of it and Jimin jumps to put his hand back behind the door. 

"Jesus Christ, good night!"

T H R E E

Taehyung has been with Jimin for so long, his friends often wonder how it is that they're still together in the modern world of ten second relationships and ten minute marriages. He's been asked multiple times how they do it, how they keep up staying so affectionate and how they never seem to tire of being around each other. And Taehyung never knows what to tell them. Sure, he's seen a lot of his friends go through relationships like underwear, dating people and dumping people without a second thought. But he's simply never had the urge. 

Jimin still makes him feel like fresh soda. 

Whatever that means. 

Jimin continues his assault of lazy kisses against Taehyung's neck. Taehyung hums contentedly. "Your lips feel like caterpillars."

Jimin pulls back and frowns. "Caterpillars are hairy. Are you calling my lips hairy?"

"Not hairy," Taehyung sits up on his elbows and places a hand on the small of Jimin's back, pushing gently until Jimin rolls on top of him. "I mean, you've got cute peach fuzz on your chin but that's not what I meant."

"Now's a great time to explain what you did mean though."

Taehyung wraps both arms around Jimin's back and noses his cheek. "Caterpillars tickle. And, you know, they feel good like...have you ever just let one crawl on you for a bit -- is this working?"

"No but you're lucky you say stupid things all the time and I still love you for some reason."

They lean into each other, Jimin dragging himself up a bit to resume kissing like they have all the time in the world. Both of them, barely pressing their lips with any force, just letting their mouths fall open and brushing against each other. Join used total these kind of kisses "whisper kisses." Taehyung lets his mouth fall open again, falls pliant when Jimin starts licking the roof of his mouth and sucking on his bottom lip. 

"It's because I'm so irresistible."

"Uh huh, shut up."

Jimin puts his hands on either side of Taehyung's face and becomes more insistent, pressing their lips together like he has a purpose. Taehyung wants today something snarky, maybe point out just how intense his irresistibility is seeing as Jimin can't seem to keep his hands to himself but he's not stupid and he doesn't ruin it. 

He cups a greedy handful od Jimin's ass and squeezes because he likes the way Jimin half moans and half whimpers when he does that, plus the way his body tightens at the contact. He kisses back with equal eagerness and Jimin spreads his legs, straddling Taehyung's thigh and barely grinding against it.

"You're insatiable," Taehyung eventually murmurs.

Nearly all of Taehyung's firsts were things he'd experienced with Jimin. He had his first kiss with Jimin under his dining room table at the age of ten years old. The two of them had borrowed his older brother's action figures for an experiment that involved the microwave and were hiding from his wrath. And suddenly Jimin pecked him quickly, blamed it on the likelihood of his brother murdering them. He lost his virginity to Jimin and, though it sounds romantic on paper, it was perhaps the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to him. And it nearly ruined their friendship.

Luckily, he was irresistible and Jimin was insatiable. A fucking match made in heaven. 

Jimin sits up, still straddling him and smiling down. "Are you tired?"

"Not too tired for anything you might have in mind."

Barely five minutes (Taehyung is good at foreplay but Jimin lacks all the patience), they're both stripped naked and Jimin's at that stage where he's two untouched seconds away from begging. Then six minutes later, he's being attacked, Jimin pouncing on him for letting them run out of lube. It's not even his fault. Besides, he's fairly certain them running out of lube has a lot to do with the fact that Jimin likes to have fun times by himself when he's not home.

"Stop hitting me!" He shouts holding up his hands. "We have conditioner in the bathroom, we can just use that."

"I'm not putting hair conditioner in my ass."

"But you don't have to, that's my job--ow! Okay but we have olive oil."

"No!"

"Sesame oil?"

Rolling off of him, Jimin groans and starts pulling his clothes back on in slow motion. Dragging out like what he really wants is to be stopped and comforted with the promise that the issue will be taken care of. Taehyung is quick to react.

"Okay, hold on, hold on...I can just ask Seokjin, I'm sure he has some."

"Nice but I really don't want them knowing we're having sex."

Taehyung shifts. "Well, they did kind of get a front seat to the spanking."

"We weren't that loud."

"Sumin and Eubin wrote us a note."

"So? We always get notes."

"Baby, they live four floors below us."

Jimin sighs but at least he stops trying to put his clothes back on. He sits back against the headboard, hugging a pillow to his chest. "Fine, go."

The thing about being with Jimin, and Taehyung has always said this, is that it makes him nothing short of the luckiest man in the world. Or it means most of his luck is centered in his relationship with Jimin. Which often means his luck in every other aspect of his life runs very, very low. For, if his luck had been high, Seokjin would have answered the door. Instead, he gets Jeongguk.

Sweet, adorable-looking but fairly harsh Jeongguk.

Taehyung smiles. "How are you, man?"

Jeongguk doesn't smile back. He crosses his arms and leans against the door frame, looking pretty unimpressed and prematurely annoyed. "I feel like I should be asking you that question."

"Me?"

"We heard your dildo experiments pretty loud and clear."

"Oh, right. Sorry about that."

"Sure you are," Jeongguk inhales. Raises an expectant set of eyebrows. "What do you want?"

"Uh," Taehyung shudders. He knows he must be red in the face, nose peaked, and lips ravaged because when Jimin gets into it, he kisses rough. Kisses like he's got nothing to lose and everything to gain. It's great when it's happening but Taehyung always comes out of it looking like he's just gotten booed at a Shakespeare play. "I was just wondering if maybe...like...you got any lube I can borrow probably?"

"Get the fuck out of here."

"I know."

"Really?"

"I know! Look, I'm sorry. I know that's the last thing I should be asking but, think about it, would I ask if I wasn't totally desperate?"

"Do you think I care?"

"I don't," Taehyung admits. "Honestly, I'm getting the vibe that you don't care about much of anything. But listen, Guk -- can I call you Guk?"

"No."

"Okay, listen Jeongguk: I know you've seen Jimin. I know you think he's hot because everyone thinks that because he is. Like everyone thinks the sky's blue, right? Because it is blue. Just facts."

"Dude--"

"I know," Taehyung lowers his voice a little. "I know you've seen his ass. It's great, isn't it?"

"The fuck...?"

"I don't beg a lot, Jeongguk. But I'm begging you - please let me borrow some lube. It doesn't have to have a particular flavor or anything. But not raspberry, I fucking hate -- you know what? I don't. Anything goes."

Jeongguk considers for a moment. He scratches the back of his neck. "I've lost countless hours of sleep because of you. Seokjin has lost countless hours of sleep because of you which means he's worked more than he needs to. All because you and Jimin don't know how to fuck like normal human beings. And you think I'm just gonna give you lube so you can do it again?"

"...If you search really deep down, you're gonna find a heart. And in that heart you're gonna find--"

"Goodbye, Taehyung."

Taehyung puts his foot in his mouth a lot. It's why he and Jimin argue so much (even though they often make up seconds after the fact). Sometimes he just says things without thinking. That factor, combined with his current high level of desperation, combined with the fact that most of his blood isn't in his big head at the moment, makes him blurt out the dumbest thing he's ever said:

"We'll stop having sex for a week if you do this for me."

He slaps his hand over his mouth as soon as the words are out and as soon as Jeongguk steps back, eyeing him cautiously. "Seriously?"

No, he thinks. But he nods yes. His libido impairs his judgment more than any drug ever has. 

"A week?"

He nods. "A week. I'll...we won't do anything for a week. Scratch that, we'll be very, very, very quiet for a week."

Jeongguk disappears and reappears in the blink of an eye. Before shutting the door in his face, Jeongguk tosses a small bottle and utters "seven days" like his name is Sadako. 

"Thank you!" Taehyung yells through the door, holding onto the bottle tightly. When he looks down and sees it's raspberry flavored, he doesn't even bat an eye. Simple solution, he figures: he just won't put it in his mouth this time. 

Seokjin arrives home a mere five minutes later and Jeongguk hands him an early anniversary present: pink ear plugs. 

F O U R

Jeongguk likes to be tucked into Seokjin's side, to rest his head against the older's chest and feel his skin against his cheek. Or his ultra soft one hundred percent cotton hoodie. Or whatever he's wearing because, after all, it's the essence of Seokjin that feels so great. Warm skin, cold skin, starchy button up, or soft cotton -- it all feels like home against Jeongguk's cheek because it belongs to Seokjin. 

Even after they fight and go to sleep on opposite ends of the bed, when they wake up, Jeongguk is back to his rightful place -- tucked into Seokjin's side, cheek sinking into his heartbeat. That's his home. Hid safe space. His peaceful place. 

And no half human, half fox couple is going to change that.

"Half human, half fox?" Seokjin rasps out a murmur in the relative quiet of the bedroom. Relative because Taehyung has been screaming about how good Jimin feels for like the past ten minutes. 

"Foxes are fecund," Jeongguk shrugs, bare shoulder brushing against Seokjin's rib. 

"Rabbits," Seokjin corrects. "Rabbits are fecund, foxes are...sly."

"That's racist," Jeongguk mutters quietly. "It's your turn to tell them."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is. I paid them off with lube and wrote a note the last two times, it's your turn."

Seokjin shakes his head. "It can't be my turn."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm older than you and I say it's your turn."

Jeongguk stares at him in the dark. He thinks Seokjin might be glaring but he can't quite tell so he doesn't glare back. Instead, he lifts his free hand. "Rock, paper, scissors?"

"...an honorable joust."

"Fuck," Taehyung again. "You're like heaven. You feel like heaven, holy -- ah...I wanna tie you up."

Jeongguk waves a hand, face squelching up in confusion. "What the fuck does one have to with the other?"

"Are you actually paying attention to what he's saying?"

"I can't help it, it's the most non-sequential sex talk I've ever heard. 'You feel so good, I wanna tie you up'? What the fu--rock, paper, scissors?"

Tense three seconds and Jeongguk gets rock. Seokjin gets paper. 

"Again."

"No."

"Please?"

"No, just go and get it over with."

Jeongguk groans. "I'd rather die than go."

"We could always write them another note."

"I'm pretty sure they throw those away."

Seokjin shakes his head. "I don't think they do that, they're too proud. They probably hang all the notes up on their wall as a shrine to their sex life."

That's it. Suddenly it all makes sense. Normal couples don't continue having loud sex after so many people have knocked on their door, written them notes, etc. Normal couples get that first knock on their door and are too embarrassed to touch each other for a week. Jimin and Taehyung aren't normal. They're fucking--

"Exhibitionists."

"What?"

"They're exhibitionists," Jeongguk repeats. "They have to be. You said they'd been having loud sex since before I even moved in here. And, think about it, they could totally just ignore people knocking on their door if they were really that into it but they always answer. And they barely putting clothes on when they do..."

"Jesus Christ, they're exhibitionists."

"Right?"

Taehyung builds from a whimper into a low guttural scream. They both have heard Taehyung come enough times to know what it sounds like. And knowing what it sounds like yields a whole lot of other information that they didn't really ask for like the fact that Taehyung is most definitely an only child. People with siblings know how to come quietly or at least burry their face in their pillows like Jimin does. 

They're lucky they don't have a pet of their own yet because the poor thing would be traumatized by now. 

"Oh," Seokjin exhales. "Okay, they're done. End of discussion, let's go to bed."

"No."

"No?"

"No, let's go talk to them. Call them out. Tell them to go have sex at the movies if they wanna be exhibitionists. Don't piss where you live."

"What is it about two a.m. that makes you so brave?"

"I am brave."

"I've seen you runaway from cockroaches."

"It could fly," Jeongguk defends. "And it was coming right at --! We're not having this debate again. Let's just go over there and settle this once and for all."

"What are you gonna say exactly? 'We know you get off on fucking in public, here's a list of alternatives'?"

"You know what? A list wouldn't be a bad idea."

"You're gonna recommend things that could get them arrested."

Jeongguk shoots up in bed, stands up, and starts pulling Seokjin up with him. "They're gonna fall asleep soon, stop stalling!"

When they knock on the door this time, they don't stop and wait. They keep knocking until the door swings open and even then, Seokjin knocks on the wall a few more times for good measure. This time Jimin and Taehyung answer the door together and neither one of them looks particularly surprised, just tired. 

Jeongguk scoffs. 

Taehyung probably comes and collapses like a drunk frat boy. 

"We'll keep it down," Jimin speaks for them, voice raw.

"No, you won't," Jeongguk says. "You say that every time. I've lived here for months now and it's still the same problem."

"Only in this society does a vehement expression of love constitute a problem," Taehyung mutters.

"Are you high?" Seokjin asks.

"What's the problem?" Jimin asks. "We never say anything when you guys are having sex."

"That's because you never hear us!"

Taehyung scoffs. "That's because you guys fuck like two high school virgins with their parents in the next room."

Seokjin stares. Jeongguk stares. Jimin turns to Taehyung. "You've been holding onto that one for a minute, haven't you?"

"I wrote it down in my insult book," Taehyung admits in a murmur. "...felt really good to use it."

"You guys are exhibitionists!" Jeongguk blurts out. "Admit it, it's like you guys want us to knock on your door, that way you know someone can definitely hear you."

Jimin blinks at him. Taehyung holds back a laugh. "Well, duh."

O N E

Seokjin hisses when Jeongguk licks at his nipple, drawing his tongue in circles. Jeongguk is straddling his waist, bent and hunched over, and attacking the last part of his body that Seokjin wants attention on. When Jeongguk got into this position and their kisses turned feverish, Seokjin couldn't help but point out he wanted to be touched somewhere else, somewhere a little lower. 

And Jeongguk started sucking on his nipple.

It's no one's fault but his own, he supposes. 'You're interested in the fetus,' his friends said. 'Go out with him,' they said. 'It'l be fun,' they said. No one mentioned that Jeongguk's charm and charisma worked both ways. Where he was clever and sharp like Mrs. Voorhees' machete, he was also a smart ass and annoying little shit.

Jeongguk sucks particularly hard and an embarrassing moan escapes Seokjin's throat. "That's not what I meant."

"What'd you mean then?"

"Do I need to spell it out for you?"

Jeongguk bites then, yielding a jerk from Seokjin, his spine snapping back and his head rolling to the side. 

"Fuck."

"Yes," Jeongguk continues. "I need you to spell it out for me. Or at least just use your words and tell me what you want."

Seokjin shudders and sighs, letting his head fall back completely against his pillow. "I can evict you, you know."

Jeongguk laughs against him and his breath brushes against his nipple. It sends chills down Seokjin's spine. Not that he would ever admit such a thing. "Three simple words, hyung."

"Suck my dick?"

"...Four little words, hyung."

Curse Seokjin and his insistence on stressing the importance  of manners. He sighs. "Suck my dick, please."

In the next apartment, Jimin tries to ignore the insistent sucking against his neck, ignore the way Taehyung's open-mouthed kisses turn into bites when a particularly loud moan comes through the wall. He looks down at the study guides and practice test booklets in front of him, trying hard to pay attention but getting stuck on the same question over and over. 

The exam is a dire one. Jimin can't get his admission to becoming a teacher if he can't pass the exam. If he can't become a teacher then screw all his future plans right up until marrying Taehyung (which is likely the only sure thing in his future). 

Taehyung's sucking becomes more insistent. 

"Stop," Jimin shrugs, trying to shove Taehyung away without lifting a finger. The younger's pulled the collar of his favorite sweatshirt down to the side until it's hanging off his shoulder and even though Jimin should be pissed six ways to Sunday for the gratuitous stretch, he can only focus all of his energy on not succumbing to the powers of Taehyung's tongue. 

Daegu boys, Taehyung once told him, are very talented with that particular muscle. But Jimin has dated one Daegu boy once before and he didn't do half the things that Taehyung does. 

He all but slaps Taehyung away. "I'm serious, Tae, stop it."

Taehyung sighs. "Babe, I can't focus with them...being so expressive."

"Is it turning you on?" Jimin scoffs when Taehyung doesn't say anything. He turns. "It turns you on to hear our neighbors having sex?"

"It turns me on when I hear anyone having sex...it turns me on when I hear us having sex."

"The mystery of your quick refractory period is solved," Jimin pushes Taehyung away. "I'm serious, I really need to study. If it turns you on so bad, go jerk off in the bedroom. Just leave me alone."

Jimin pushes at Taehyung one last time and the younger backs away looking like a stupidly adorable kicked puppy. A stupidly adorable, stupidly horny kicked puppy. 

From the other side of the room, Jimin can make out the sound of Jeongguk's (he guesses it's Jeongguk because it sounds identical to the way he sighs when he has to knock on their door or when Taehyung stops him in the hallway to have a useless conversation about the sociology behind anime. Seokjin's lucky. From the two times, he's heard two of them having sex, Jeongguk never really said anything -- only really moaning and occasionally screaming. Maybe he'll slip out a curse here and there. Not like Taehyung. Who tends to have full blown conversation. Who once even described every single sensation he was feeling, going as far as to compare Jimin's ass to the golden chalice.

Whatever the fuck that meant. 

Taehyung pouts. "Please?"

"I have to study."

"I'll be quick. You won't even know I'm there."

Jimin stares at him evenly. Then he pushes away from his desk and leaves the apartment, letting Taehyung pout all he wants. It isn't even until he's halfway to the other door that he even notices that he's half hard. Screw Taehyung and his miraculous tongue. 

He waits a few minutes before knocking, needing a few moments of repose to make it look like he's not incredibly turned on. He's a good actor. He can manage. When he does knock, they do a great job of ignoring him for nearly three minutes. Jimin knows because he can hear Boys II Men playing from the apartment and he nearly get through a full song before anyone opens the door. 

When it finally swing opens, it's both of them standing there. Seokjin is already smiling but not a gesture of politeness, more like he's still high off whatever drug can only be found in his boyfriend's dick. And Jeongguk slides up next to him glowing like Christmas lights. 

"Can we help you?"

Jimin lets out a nervous laugh and offers a smile. "This is awkward...um, is there any way you guys could--?"

"No," Jeongguk answers. "Sorry."

"No, please, I just...it doesn't bother me, I swear. In fact, you guys sound very sexy. If I didn't know any better, I'd think I was hearing professional pornstars."

Seokjin tilts his head. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

"Yes," Jimin continues. "But, uh, you see I really have to study. And Taehyung is kind of, like...intently listening to you two and...I don't have time for sex right now, please."

"You let your boyfriend listen to other people have sex."

"I don't let him do anything, he has a mind of his own. Like a sentient robot."

Seokjin stares at him for a minute before covering his face and likely swallowing down laughter with confusion. But Jeongguk shakes his head. "You guys say things and I think you can't get any weirder but then...you say more things. And it happens."

"Can you two keep it down or not?"

The two of them share a look. Jeongguk shrugs. "We can try but no promises," he gestures toward Seokjin's groin. "He's got a big dick."

With that, they close the door in his face and Jimin resists every instinct in him to bang on the door screaming. Taehyung has a big dick too, you don't hear him bragging about it...when he's sober. Instead, he stays in front of it fuming quietly until he notices Taehyung step out of their apartment in his peripheral. 

"You okay?" He asks.

Keeping his eyes on the apartment in front of him, paying attention to the slow jams that continue playing on the other side, Jimin responds:

"Babe?"

"Yeah?"

"Put Sade on."