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“Papa?” Ilya wakes up to a gentle touch to his shoulder.
Ilya rolls over as he rubs his eyes, blinking as his vision focuses on his daughter. “Mm?”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up. I was just trying to see if you were awake,” Sonya tugs at the sleeves of the old Centaurs hoodie she’s wearing. Ilya’s almost certain that it used to be his.
“Well, I am awake now. What is wrong?”
Sonya doesn’t meet his eye, staring at the painting that Shane had picked out above their bed. “It’s nothing.”
“I do not think that is true, Кролик.” Ilya carefully extracts himself from Shane’s arms. He grabs a crewneck that had been tossed onto the chair and tugs it on. “Let’s go to the living room, so we don’t wake up Dad.”
Sonya nods softly and follows Ilya out of the bedroom. Ilya sits on the couch and pats the cushion next to him. She sits, and Ilya wraps his arm around her shoulder, tucking her close to his chest. He presses a kiss to her dark curls.
“You do not have to tell me what is wrong, if you don’t want to,” he murmurs. “We can just sit here. But it might help.”
She nods softly, burrowing her face in her hoodie, her nose just barely poking out. “I just had a bad dream,” Her voice is slightly muffled by the fabric.
“I’m sorry, that is never fun.”
“Yeah.”
They sit in silence for a few moments, Ilya rubbing her arm soothingly.
“You and Dad got in a car accident,” She says suddenly. “I just- I don’t know. I think I just needed to make sure that you were okay.”
He nods softly. “We’re okay,” He murmurs, kissing her head again.
“I know, Papa. It was stupid. I knew you were just fine, but I don’t think I would’ve been able to fall back to sleep if I didn’t.”
“Then it is not stupid.”
She rolls her eyes. “You don’t have to make me feel better about myself.”
Ilya is quiet for a moment.
“You are like me,” he tries to choose his words carefully. “In many ways. Some things I wish I hadn’t passed on, but that means I know where you are coming from. When you were a baby, I would stand by your crib, just to make sure you were breathing. Sometimes you need to reassure yourself, even if you know it is not logical.”
She hums noncommittally, curling up a little more. “I still feel bad for waking you up.”
“No, don’t. You can always wake me or Dad up if you ever need anything. You and Kolya are the most important things in our lives.”
Sonya nods softly. “Okay.”
They sit in silence for a while longer, until Sonya yawns, unable to hide it. Ilya smiles softly and kisses the top of her head. “Back to bed, maybe?”
She nods softly and stands up, stretching. Ilya stands as well and walks with her to her bedroom. She climbs into bed, laughing when Ilya tugs the blanket over her.
“Papa, you don’t need to tuck me in.”
But I am going to, because you are my most perfect girl in the whole world,” He grins and presses a kiss to her forehead with an exaggerated Mwah!, making her smile. “I love you, and I hope you have the sweetest of dreams.”
“Love you too,” Sonya smiles softly, tugging the blanket closer, settling in.
Ilya smiles softly and quietly steps out, closing the door behind him. He pads back to his and Shane’s room, stopping to poke his head into Kolya’s room to check on him. He shakes his head, a small smile on his face, when he sees his son sprawled across the bed, the blanket mostly kicked off. He silently steps into the room and tugs the blanket back over him then leaves, silently closing the door behind him. He tugs off the crewneck and tosses it back onto the chair, climbing back into bed with his husband.
Shane stirs just a bit, wrapping himself around Ilya again. “Okay?” He mumbles, pressing a half-asleep attempt at a kiss to his cheek.
Ilya smiles. “Yes. Sonya had bad dream, and I just sat with her for a little bit. She is trying to go back to sleep now.”
Shane nods, burrowing his face in Ilya’s neck, quickly drifting back to sleep.
***
It’s a slow morning.
It’s a Saturday and their only plans are that Sonya wanted to go to the mall to get some new pants, and Kolya waited until now to tell them that the sole of his shoe was practically falling off of his foot, so they’re getting him some new shoes, too. But other than that, there’s nothing. So they’re taking their time getting ready.
Or, taking their time as much as Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov’s hyperactive children can.
While Ilya could usually sleep in another couple of hours on the weekends, his spawn and his (beautiful, wonderful, perfect) husband are usually up and ready to start the day by 9. And that’s late for them.
Ilya allows Shane to drag him to their home gym for yoga. They did it together a couple of times at the end of his pregnancy with Sonya, and he’d continued here and there until he got pregnant with Kolya, and they started doing it together consistently after that. Sometimes, Ilya prefers to get a little more sleep in, but more often than not, he’ll join him.
They stretch for a little while, enjoying the quiet peace before the kids wake up. Once they start hearing doors open, they pull themselves out to the kitchen to get started on breakfast.
Sonya shuffles into the room and, instead of sitting at the island like she typically does, walks to hug Shane.
Shane laughs softly and kisses her head. “Hey, kiddo.”
“Hi,” She murmurs, resting her cheek on his shoulder, standing beside him and watching him work at the stove. She’s quiet, probably still thinking about the nightmare she had the night before.
“You okay?” Shane nudges her so he can look in her eyes.
She nods softly. “Just tired.”
Shane looks at her for a moment, before squeezing her shoulder. “Relax on the couch for a bit. Papa will grab you when breakfast is ready.”
She nods and heads over to the couch. She passes Ilya, and he quickly drops a kiss to her curls as she goes.
“Aw,” She groans, laughing. “I got divebombed.”
Ilya laughs softly as she sinks into the couch, then turns back to Shane.
Shane raises his eyebrow at him, glancing over his shoulder at Sonya, before looking back at Ilya.
“What’s up with Sofie?” He asks, his voice quiet.
Ilya wraps his arms around Shane, pressing himself against his back, hooking his chin over his shoulder. “She had a nightmare last night.” He murmurs. “She said in it, we got in car accident.”
Shane sighs softly. “She’s still nervous about driving.”
Ilya nods. “Yes, I think so.”
“What do you think we should do?”
“I think we should do what we did when she wanted to wait longer before getting her permit,” he presses a kiss to Shane’s shoulder. “We don’t push her. She clearly does not want to, and that is okay. We can drive her, we can get her a good bike. And if she prefers that, then maybe we get her a motorcycle, or something.”
“She’s gotta get her license at some point, Ilya,” Shane sighs. “She can’t just ride a bike everywhere, especially not in winter. And I already hate it when you ride your Ducati, I can’t imagine how worried my baby riding one would make me.”
“She just needs time. She will come around eventually. Or she won’t and we will work together to figure it out.”
Shane nods softly and places the last piece of french toast onto the plate. He pats Ilya’s arm where it’s wrapped around him. “Breakfast is ready. I think Niko might still be in his room, if you wanna try to get him.”
Ilya nods and heads to the living room. Sonya is curled up in a blanket, scrolling on her phone. Ilya grabs the blanket and tugs it off of her, grinning as she protests.
“Hey, I was using that!”
“Yes, but your Dad sent me to tell you that breakfast is ready, so here I am.”
She rolls her eyes and stands up. “You’re so annoying.”
“You would be so very bored with your boring father without me.”
“Hmm, that is true. I guess I’ll thank you for that.”
Ilya grins and heads down the hall as she walks to the kitchen. He knocks on Kolya’s opened door.
“Good morning, Мишка!” He sing-songs as he enters, pulling open the curtains.
Kolya groans and sets his phone down, covering his face with his hand. “Papa…”
“Dad just finished making breakfast, so it is time to get up and eat with your loving family before we go replace your very broken shoes.”
Kolya grumbles a bit before tugging himself out of bed and joins the rest of them at the table.
***
They’re out back, kicking a soccer ball around, when Kolya brings it up.
“Do you ever miss Russia?” The question is sudden, making both Ilya and Shane pause for a moment.
“Why do you ask?” Ilya snags the ball from Shane before kicking it over to Sonya.
“I dunno. Just curious, I guess. Aunt Sveta still goes sometimes, but you never do.”
Ilya looks over at Shane, trying to decide how much he wants to say. Shane gives him a gentle shrug, a silent “It’s up to you”. The kids are both old enough that he doesn’t feel that he has to talk around the situation. Kolya’s 15 now, and Sonya’s about to turn 17. They don’t have to shield them from the evils of the world anymore, no matter how much he wants to.
“I…” He sighs softly, not able to find the words he’s looking for. He tries again, this time in Russian. “Russia is not kind to people like your Dad and I. When the world found out about us, it became very dangerous for me to go back. I do not have any family there, not anymore. It was not a risk that was worth taking.
“I don’t have very many good memories of Russia. Most of them are from before your Baba passed, and that was a very long time ago. I will always have a place in my heart for it, it is where I grew up, but it is more like… I don’t know. The love that I have for Russia is more about the love that I have for my Mama. Besides, I have everything I could ever want right here. My family is here now, in Ottawa. So, no, I wouldn’t say that I miss it.”
Kolya nods, juggling the soccer ball with his foot for a moment before kicking it to Shane. “That makes sense,” he says softly. “I guess I just kinda wish I could see where you grew up.”
Ilya feels his face soften at that. He switches back to English, the words coming easier now. “I think I have some pictures somewhere, if you would like to look at them. It really wasn’t much, most of the time. Very grey, very Soviet. You know, I was alive when the USSR fell.”
Shane rolls his eyes. “You were, like, 6 months, or something like that. You don’t even remember it.”
“Does not take away from the fact that I was alive for it!”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Yes, but you love me.”
“Unfortunately.”
***
Ilya can’t help but stare at Shane as he helps Kolya with his math homework. Both of them have the same focused expression, the little crease between the brow, tongue sticking out just a bit as they work on a particularly hard question. While Sonya is a carbon copy of Ilya, save for the dark hair, Kolya is all Shane.
“Wait, no,” Shane points to the paper. “I think that’s supposed to be a minus, not a plus.”
“I don’t think it is. Mr. Davis never said anything about switching that sign out.”
Shane’s brow somehow manages to furrow even more. “I am so lost.”
“Ugh, Dad, you’re supposed to be the one who knows math stuff! I go to Papa with my science homework, and I go to you for my math!”
“I know, bud, but I think we’ve finally hit the point where my expertise has waned.”
Kolya lets out an awfully dramatic sigh, slouching down in his chair.
“Hey,” Ilya calls out. “No shrimping. Is bad for your back.”
Kolya just scowls more and sinks further down into his chair.
Shane laughs and shakes his head, standing and pressing a kiss to his head. “Okay, drama queen. If you really need my help, then I’ll figure out whatever’s going on here. But I think you’re smarter than you give yourself credit for.”
Kolya just grumbles a bit before sitting up again, sighing again before picking his pencil up again to keep working.
“Papa?” Sonya calls from her room.
“Coming!” He shouts back as he pushes himself up, walking to his daughter’s room. He stops in the doorway, leaning against it. “What’s up?”
“Can you look at this for a second? I think there’s something missing.”
The “this” she is referring to is a watercolor painting that she’s been working on for her AP art class for the better part of a week now. Ilya steps forward and looks at it intently.
“I think it is very pretty, Кролик. I think you just need to give your brain a break for a moment, and then you can come back and see if there really is anything missing.” He smooths his hand over her curls, then drops a kiss to the crown of her head. “Come on, I will get you a snack.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Okay, a treat then.” He pats her shoulder. “Come on, you are going to drive yourself crazy if you keep looking at it.”
She sighs softly (much less dramatically than her brother), then pushes her chair back and stands. They head back to the kitchen together.
“Kolya, do you have to finish your work today?”
He shakes his head. “No, it’s not due until Wednesday. I just wanted to get it done.”
“Then are you okay to take a little break? Sonya needs one, and I thought we could have a little family treat and watch a movie, or something.”
Kolya is nodding before Ilya even finishes, pushing his paper back and standing. “Yes. I absolutely can.”
Shane huffs a laugh and shakes his head. He stands as well, going over to the freezer to pull out the ice cream. “You and Sofie go sit down and pick a movie, Papa and I will be over in a second.”
The kids practically race to the couch, already bickering about their picks. Ilya watches them with a fond expression as Shane scoops some ice cream into their bowls. Ilya helps him carry the bowls over, passing them to the kids before taking the remote from them before they manage to break it.
“Kolya, what is your pick?”
“I wanna watch Bullet Train!”
Sonya groans. “We watched that the last time you picked. Pick something else.”
“Papa asked! And that’s what I wanna watch!”
Ilya smiles softly. “Okay, that’s option one. Sonya, what’s your pick?”
“Princess Bride, all the way.”
“Ooh, that’s a good one,” Shane chimes in as he sinks down onto the loveseat.
“Aha! 2 to 1! I win!” Sonya sticks out her tongue at Kolya.
“Nuh-uh! Papa hasn’t said what he wants to watch yet.” Both pairs of eyes fly to Ilya, an intensity to their gaze that rivals their dad’s during the Stanley Cup final game.
“Um…” He looks between the kids and Shane as he sits down next to his husband. “I think we watch Princess Bride this time. Sonya is right, we did just watch Bullet Train.”
Sonya makes a victorious sound as Kolya starts protesting.
“Nikolai,” Ilya shoots him a look. “You can pick next time.”
Kolya huffs, but relents. Ilya pulls up the movie and starts it, settling in with Shane.
It’s moments like these where he is the happiest, just existing with 3 of his most favorite people ever.
He loves his little family more than anything, and he wouldn’t trade them for the world.