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It hadn’t been too long since Jotaro had met Kakyoin. They were forced to share hotel room after hotel room throughout the entire trip so far, so they ended up getting to know each other faster than they normally would. Jotaro didn’t really have much to say about anything, but somehow he always had something to say to Kakyoin when it was just them, late at night and when they couldn’t sleep in random hotel rooms across Asia. They avoided talking about the trip as much as possible, instead focusing on school, manga, music, and of course, girls.
Jotaro never really had an interest in dating anyone. He said it was a waste of time since people wouldn’t put up with him being so stoic and quiet. This caused him to stay alone most of the time, despite people’s attempts to interact with him. He of course wanted people in his life, but they never accepted how he acted. They always wanted him to change and become someone he wasn’t, to become their idealized version of him from their dreams. Holly always told him since he was a little boy that he was special and to never let anyone change him, and he took it to heart, even if it meant sacrificing friends and potential lovers for years upon years. But Kakyoin was the exception to keeping someone away, yet he still couldn’t figure out why.
But Jotaro would never dare to tell Kakyoin this. It was too personal and he was honestly ashamed to admit he had never been with anyone. Being a high school student, having girls constantly trying to get to know him, and yet still rejecting them was impossible to say. However, something about Kakyoin made him want to say everything. He never wanted to stop talking to him, but he forced himself to stop whenever they got to the topic of dating. Jotaro always had some excuse to get out of it; “it’s too late,” “we have to wake up early,” “I need to get something.” He always had a reason to get out of it.
Eventually Kakyoin caught onto him always avoiding the topic. I mean sure, it was always Noriaki bringing it up, but why was Jotaro always suddenly needing to do something when that got mentioned? He knew Jotaro told him anything. Noriaki knew about his favorite fish, what movie he watched over and over, his embarrassingly “girly” music taste, but he couldn’t talk about if he ever liked a girl?
That night though, Kakyoin got too curious as to why Jotaro refused to talk about it. As they had their conversations about anything and everything, Noriaki finally brought it up again.
“Jotaro, what kind of girls do you like?”
“I need to go to bed, we have a long way to go tomorrow. I have to prepare for an enemy stand user, I can’t be half awake fighting.” It’s exactly what Kakyoin expected.
“Why do you only ever have to go to sleep when I ask about girls? What’s your problem with it?” Noriaki asked as Jotaro was rolling over to avoid eye contact at all costs.
“It’s nothing, just go to sleep.” God, Jotaro would never say anything, would he? It can’t be that hard to say anything.
“It’s clearly not nothing if it’s the only topic you’ve ever avoided. You’ve even told me about what country’s food is the worst on your stomach, don’t act like me wondering what kind of girl you like is too far of a question.” Noriaki is determined to figure out why Jotaro can’t even answer such a simple question. Even just, “a girl with big boobs” or “a short brunette” would do at this point, all he wanted was any kind of answer now since he was avoiding it so hard.
Kakyoin started to think that maybe Jotaro had something to hide, something he would take to the grave with him. “Good grief, just let it go,” Jotaro retorted with growing annoyance. He didn’t want anyone prying into such a topic anymore. He never wanted to admit he never had an interest in dating, let alone girls at all.
“C’mon man, it can’t be anything that crazy! I mean, you don’t like dudes or something, do you?”
Oh god. Jotaro dreaded this. He couldn't even admit it to himself, let alone another man he had been sharing beds with, that he even considered that he might like men. This was just impossible, you don’t like other men, that’s just not right. Jotaro told himself this for years, he wanted to be “normal” so bad he hoped he could will himself to be straight. I mean, it’s not like he was changing for someone else, it was just for himself, not any other reason.
“No! No, I wouldn’t ever be like that. It’s just- wrong. I mean, sleeping with another dude?! That’s disgusting!” Jotaro was trying to do anything to avoid making himself seem like he actually did like men. He can’t let that be a possibility. But he said this with such panic that he couldn't fully convince Kakyoin.
“I mean if you did it’d be fine, it’s not really a big deal. Just tell me if we gotta put a pillow between us,” Kakyoin tried to joke, but this only freaked out Jotaro more. He got even more defensive which made Kakyoin wonder if he was even telling the truth.
“No. That would never happen, I’m not like them…”
“Like who?”
“Those… queers.”
Kakyoin didn’t know how to take this. Was this really what Jotaro thought of them? Just some “disgusting” queers? He didn’t know why yet, but it quietly hurt him. Deep down, it hurt the part of Jotaro that wanted to accept who he was, but just like everything else with it, he can’t ever admit that.
“Oh, um, yeah I get that. It’s a little weird,” Noriaki tried to continue, “I guess we should go to bed then, huh?”
Jotaro agreed way too quickly, ready to end this conversation. But even after Kakyoin was fast asleep, Jotaro was wide awake, worrying about what happened.
Could Noriaki tell he was lying? Would he ever need to put a pillow between them? He never thought about it too hard, but sometimes he would catch himself watching Kakyoin. He noticed little things about him Kakyoin never noticed about himself. Jotaro saw how he would curl up small when trying to sleep, rushing his words when he got nervous, but what stood out to him the most was how he would always drift towards Jotaro whenever he could.
He sat awake thinking about it for far too long. Every single time Kakyoin would slightly stir next to him, his heart rate spiked. It felt like he could sense whenever Jotaro thought about him. He wanted badly to just accept whatever was “wrong” with him so he could get away from Kakyoin. Just to scare him off so he doesn’t have to accept what he feels.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
Within the following days, Jotaro was forced to come to terms with his thoughts. He didn’t want them to be real, but he keeps proving time and time again that they are. Every time Kakyoin gets into bed with him, every time he has to talk with him one on one, every time Joseph tells them to stick together when an attack is imminent. Jotaro gets more and more nervous each day around Kakyoin. He avoids him every single chance he gets and it’s starting to get obvious that something is wrong.
After they check into their new hotel in India, Kakyoin finally asks Jotaro what’s going on. “Hey man, you’ve been acting real weird since that other night in Singapore. Did I push too far with all the questions? I really didn’t mean anything weird I just-”
“Shut up already. It’s fine, just move on from it,” Jotaro’s fast response gave more reason for Kakyoin to know something wasn’t right.
“Jotaro, please. Just listen to me, I’m sorry. I didn’t wanna make you upset but I was too curious as to why you always had to avoid the question,” as hard as he tried to get Jotaro to listen, Noriaki couldn’t get him to stay in the conversation. Jotaro suddenly had to fluff the pillows and make coffee just before they needed to go to sleep.
“Jotaro, please just talk to me. I miss our conversations every night. I’m sorry, just please talk.”
“Fine. I’m not upset, I’ve just been thinking…” He ends up trailing off about needing to shower now, except he already did when they entered the hotel.
“If it’s anything about the… gay thing, I don’t care. It really doesn’t mean anything if you are not,” Kakyoin’s trying so hard to reassure Jotaro that everything’s okay, but nothing’s working.
“I’m not gay, Kakyoin. I hope not.” He whispers, just barely audible.
“What? Did I hear you right? You hope not?” Noriaki doesn’t want to escalate this anything further into something neither of them want it to be, but he’s holding onto the hope that his gut might be right about something.
Jotaro’s quiet for a moment, and when he speaks again, he’s barely even a whisper. “Yeah, I don’t want to be but I just don’t think that I’m anything else.”
“Jojo… why do you want to be something you’re not?” Kakyoin has a new kind of tone in his voice. Not accusatory like the other night, and not the fear he had earlier that something was seriously wrong. He had a kind of gentleness, just like Holly when Jotaro said he wished he was like his classmate instead of himself. He felt bad, not quite pity, but something inside Kakyoin hurt knowing Jotaro didn’t like who he was.
“I wanted something to be normal about me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was never the kind to seek out friends because I wasn’t what they wanted me to be, so I wanted to be something else for myself. At least I hoped it was for myself.” Kakyoin shuffled closer to Jotaro and touched his arm slightly. He wanted it to be reassuring, but the way Jotaro whipped his head away and sank his chest said it had the opposite effect.
Kakyoin immediately took his hand away, “I’m sorry, Jojo, I didn’t mean to upset you with that.”
Something in him made him admit the truth. “No, it didn’t upset me. I- uh- I liked it…” This took Noriaki by surprise. He never expected Jotaro to act like this, let alone even admit he enjoyed something like that. But something in him made him feel bolder, but not by enough to be confident, only enough to admit what he had been hiding.
“Kakyoin, don’t laugh, but I love you…”
Was this really happening? Is Kakyoin dreaming? Just a few days ago Jotaro said he couldn’t possibly be gay, but now he’s telling him that he loves him? He doesn’t even care if this is real or not anymore because this is what he’s been wanting since he met Jotaro. He was instantly drawn to his dedication to those dear to him and the fact that he saved Kakyoin from Dio made him fall head over heels for Jotaro.
“Oh, Jojo… I love you so much. I’ve been wanting this to happen since I truly met you.” Noriaki moves his hand to Jotaro’s cheek, having the bigger man face him despite his previous attempts to avoid his eyes. Jotaro’s now facing Kakyoin, but he’s keeping his eyes low. Is he really still embarrassed about this?
“Nori, I don’t want this to change anything. Please stay my best friend, I can’t lose you just because I’m stupid and can’t keep this stupid shit to myself.” Jotaro’s still not accepting Kakyoin’s response. It’s like he wants to keep denying what’s happening to pretend to be who he isn’t.
Kakyoin leans towards Jotaro and slowly pulls off his hat. Jojo finally looks up at Kakyoin who’s moving even closer and pulling Jotaro’s face to his. Noriaki puts his lips on Jotaro’s and it’s nothing like Jojo’s ever felt. He still doesn’t want to admit it for some reason, but he loves the feeling. Without even thinking, his hands move to Kakyoin’s waist and the back of his neck. He’s pulling the other man closer to him against his own will. It feels like he’s possessed but he’s happier than ever to be like this.
After many short kisses, Kakyoin finally pulls away. He looks at Jotaro and he looks nothing like he has before. He’s not the strong man he normally is, he’s like a stray puppy who just got pet for the first time, wide-eyed and weak. Jotaro has never acted like this or even considered that he ever would, but he leans into Kakyoin’s chest and stays there for a moment.
“I didn’t think you’d treat me the same if you knew, I’m sorry I kept it. If I had just known then-”
“Jojo, I’m just thankful I ever got the chance to kiss you, even if it never happens again. I love you.”
Jotaro looks up at Kakyoin, still holding onto him like he’s never going to see him again, and says just loud enough for them to hear, “I love you too, Nori.”