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The thing about adrenaline was that it made one completely dismiss all defined as common sense.
And Takoi had just experienced it first hand.
Because it didn’t matter he was all beaten up and bleeding when every single cell and fiber of his being was screaming at him to make it out alive while he struggled with breaking free of the ropes tied tightly around his wrist. The ropes had dug sharply against his skin and he’d only managed to loosen it by a notch at most by the end of it.
When he stopped struggling, it was still the adrenaline that left him hyperaware of everything but most importantly Shiono. He didn’t deserve to be dragged into this mess and definitely didn’t deserve to compromise his job for the situation Takoi had walked into.
He was afraid, not for his safety or life, but rather for Shiono. He didn’t fight and held back for Takoi’s sake until the very last moment.
But now, the adrenaline had worn off and Takoi was cursing himself at each additional step he took. Shiono had an arm wrapped around his waist, hauling him up against him, while Takoi in return had his arm around his shoulder, holding tightly and dependent on his support.
He felt the familiar warmth of Shiono’s body, the firmness of his muscles and arm hauling him up with a natural ease, and his grip against Takoi’s waist warm and tight.
If it were any other situation, he would have basked in Shiono’s proximity and presence. Instead, they took another step and he hissed at the pain spreading through his body, prominent and diverting his attention back to it.
“I can’t believe I wasn’t feeling any of this before.” He grumbled while Shiono adjusted his grip around his waist.
“It was probably the adrenaline.” Shiono reasoned and Takoi only huffed out a breath in agreement.
They both were desperate for a moment alone and their feet found them atop the roof before they realized it. It was equally driven by both the lingering traces of the adrenaline and his overwhelming desire and affection towards Shiono craving for a lone moment with him. But he couldn’t work out a way out to tell him in simple words without feeling like he’ll combust on the spot.
He needed to take a proper look at him, to affirm himself he wasn’t injured in any way, because he’d gotten injured on Takoi’s behalf before and he couldn’t bear witnessing that again. It was one too many times. And he missed him greatly, including their mundane conversations or daily texts updating him with photos of Kamekichi.
Still, though he was in pain and every step was torturous, Shiono’s proximity brought him a comfort he desperately needed after everything that transpired.
He hissed again and Shiono stopped when they reached the staircase landing, “We’re halfway there.”
“...Only halfway?”
“Yes.” Shiono glanced at him, “I should carry you.”
“Wha—No! Don’t!”
It was terrifying the seriousness in Shiono’s face when he said those words. And even more so terrifying was the way he swiftly and effortlessly lowered himself to haul Takoi up, heedless of his objection, and would have successfully picked Takoi up had he not forced himself to step back and swatted Shiono’s hands away.
“Why?” Shiono simply asked, as if it all were that simple. It didn’t help he had that little furrow between his brows again, the corner of his lips tugged down a notch, and eyes slightly narrowed, so attentively focused on him with that annoyed glint in them. Takoi felt a lot like he was about to argue with a disgruntled cat. It tugged his heart and he had to stifle back a grin.
“I can’t have you carrying me.”
“Why not? You’re injured and I can carry you.”
“I can still walk.”
“You’re in pain.” Shiono stepped closer and Takoi took one back in return, grimacing at the pain spreading through his leg at his first unsupported step, only further proving Shiono’s point.
“But I can still walk.” He glanced away from Shiono’s relentless gaze and mumbled, “And it’s embarrassing if the others see that.”
Shiono lit up brightly, “I like Takoi-san’s flustered face.”
It was the simplicity and certainty of his words, as if it’s such a given, that had Takoi rooted in his spot, feeling warm all over.
“Stop saying these things and help me get down already!”
“Oh? You’re agreeing to me carrying you?” His smirk was enough for Takoi to know he definitely understood it’s not the implication of his words, not in the slightest.
“Oi! What are you two doing? Are you alright?” Hasegawa’s voice startled him, echoing from somewhere downstairs and interrupting them.
“I–We needed fresh air!” Takoi shouted back and pushed Shiono’s hand away when he reached for his waist again.
“Of course you did.” It was George who answered this time. His voice had a little tilt to it, leaning towards a hum, “There’s plenty of fresh air downstairs too. Come on down already.”
“We’re coming.” Shiono replied. He held his arm out for Takoi this time and Takoi took it, allowing him to hold him as he did earlier, and was supporting him again as they made their way downstairs to join the others.
He was immediately ushered over towards the paramedics and George wasted no time grabbing Shiono’s arm and dragged him away, “You can leave him for a few minutes. He’s in good hands and you’re needed.”
His words didn’t seem to reassure Shiono as he looked back and Takoi waved him off when the paramedic stepped closer.
He began asking a set of questions, undoubtedly memorised and going through a mental checklist, as he checked Takoi over, and inspected the bruises and injuries scattered across his face.
A concussion is ruled out, but the way Takoi flinched at the excruciating pain spreading at his side was concerning enough to have him sent to the hospital for scans to determine the extent of his injury.
Shiono wasn’t anywhere in sight when the ambulance was ready to take him to the hospital, but Egawa was there and she winked as she leaned closer, “Don’t worry. I’ll tell him which hospital you’re being sent to.”
“You don’t have to. Just tell him I’m being taken to the hospital.”
“You really think he won’t ask and find out on his own?”
Takoi sighed. She knew Shiono well and she did have a point. “Thank you.”
He had a fractured rib and that was the worst of it. The doctor showed him his scans and went on clarifying it wasn’t severe and should heal by itself within a couple of weeks, and was given a week off from work to recuperate.
And when Takoi thanked the doctor and stepped out of the examination room, his heart tugged when he spotted Shiono’s familiar figure in the waiting area. Takoi had only explained as much and didn’t say anything further as they walked out together and took a taxi back to Takoi’s place.
The exhaustion of the day and the pain of his injuries were getting to him, and he was far too exhausted to do anything but slump against the seat, and silently observe Shiono as he tapped and scrolled through his phone with that familiar furrow in his brows. It was definitely work related. Even if George hadn’t opposed the idea of Shiono joining Takoi, there was still work to be done at the scene and any extra hand, especially someone as skilled and capable as Shiono, was helpful and needed.
Shiono had to practically drag him out of the taxi once they arrived and Takoi was getting used to Shiono’s arms and proximity. It’s a shame he would have to leave so soon. This wasn’t enough.
“Is there anything in particular you want to eat?” Shiono asked when he let go to unlock the door.
“Not really.” Takoi got in as Shiono held the door for him and immediately plopped down on the couch with a heavy sigh. Everything hurt and his body was aching as he stretched his legs. He tossed his blazer aside and pulled on his tie, loosening it further, “I want to sleep. Can you bring me the painkillers?”
In the back, he could hear Shiono shutting the door behind him and the quiet thud of his shoes as he took them off. Takoi pushed the cushions as he tried to stretch himself atop it, the movement pushing his blazer to fall off somewhere on the floor, until the sharp pain was making itself visible again forcing him upright, and he groaned loudly.
“You can’t take painkillers on an empty stomach.” Shiono admonished. Takoi shut his eyes as he settled on leaning his head back instead and heard Shiono’s footsteps as he walked across the tiny kitchen area, followed by the creak of a cabinet door.
“Is rice porridge alright with you? You need something easy to eat.”
“Don’t bother with it—”
“I’m taking that as a yes.”
Takoi huffed out a breath, but couldn’t bite back the way the corner of his lips tugged up at the exasperated tone in Shiono’s voice. He could hear it, laced underneath all that exasperation, the fondness in his voice and all the worry.
“Thank you, Shiono.”
He kept his eyes closed, even when he was aware of the sudden stillness from the kitchen area, and Shiono’s footsteps got closer. He blinked his eyes open when Shiono handed him an ice pack.
“You need to ice it to reduce the swelling.” Shiono explained and Takoi watched him as he pushed the cushions closer to Takoi, keeping them steady and upright for Takoi to lean against, “And it might be more comfortable for you to sleep upright for the first few days.”
Takoi leaned back, supported by the cushions this time, and sighed in relief at finally being able to lie back without an agonising pain preventing him from doing so.
Shiono smiled at Takoi’s palpable relief, “Rest for now. I’ll let you know when it’s done.”
“The doctor told me all of that, but you weren’t in the room. How do you know all of this?”
“It’s easy to look up these things, Takoi-san.” Shiono leaned down and picked up Takoi’s blazer before draping it against the side of the couch, smoothening it out with hand, then walked back behind the counter to start preparing the porridge.
He needed to wash off any blood that could have possibly reached the blazer then take it to the dry cleaners. Shiono didn’t need to keep it all tidy. They both knew that. Yet, here they were.
He shut his eyes and leaned against the cushions again, holding the ice pack to his injured side as Shiono instructed, and settled on listening to the sounds of Shiono working in the kitchen. The clinking of the spoons, the click of the stove, the water boiling until a clank of the lid muffled it noticeably, and his favorite of the tiny, quiet rhythmic taps of Shiono’s fingers against the kitchen counter.
The sound of being loved; that was a new thing for him to learn.
He dozed off and on again to the sound of Shiono in the back until a while later when Shiono was gently calling his name and took the ice pack away.
Porridge was the best option. It was soft and easy to swallow, as he found even the simple act of swallowing sent a ting of pain through his chest, and the soft texture helped him significantly.
Shiono sat beside him with his own bowl.
“This is so good.”
“It’s not much. It’s just porridge.”
The bowl was warm in his hand. How long had it been since he had a warm homemade meal made with specifically him in mind?
But it was easy to recall last time when they had takoyaki together. It was something they prepared together, though Takoi’s attempts were horrendous. Shiono had eaten them all with the biggest smile on his face, and dismissed all of Takoi’s complaints with a simple: “You made it for me. It’s the best.”
And now this rice porridge. It was simple and plain, made in an old pot Takoi owned for so long but barely used.
Takoi glanced at Shiono and watched him as he blew on his spoon. He wanted to prolong this, but it was getting late. He tried to smile, but his stomach felt heavy and his throat constricted when he spoke, “Shiono, I really appreciate this, but it’s getting late, don’t you have work tomorrow?”
“Yes.”
“Then is it really okay for you to be here?”
“I’ll leave really early tomorrow morning, don’t worry about it.” Shiono paused and added with a small smile, “Besides, I don’t want to be away from you tonight.”
He looked back down at the porridge and knew it was too selfish and unreasonable. It would take him two hours at least to get back and he’d have to wake up early to make it back on time. At this rate, Shiono wouldn’t get to rest much. Yet, his desire to keep him close overcame everything else as he mumbled, “Me too.”
Once they were done eating and Takoi was finally able to take the painkillers, Shiono grabbed the empty bowls and ushered him to go shower. A bath sounded heavenly, but he was far too drained to wait for the bath to fill up and wanted to be in bed as soon as possible. It would have to be a quick shower for tonight.
His tie was still tossed atop the couch outside and he slowly unbuttoned his shirt, grimacing the further his skin and bruises started peeking out, until he took it completely off.
The collar had been splattered with his blood and Takoi rubbed his thumb against the dried bloodstains. If it weren’t for Shiono, he would have been holding a much bloodier shirt in his hand right now. He exhaled and looked aside towards the bathroom mirror, finally for the first time this evening allowing himself to get a proper look at his battered up body.
Takoi was a mess.
His skin was splotted with bruises, massive and irregular in shape, with a much darker and swollen one towards the lower side of his left ribs, an indicator of the spot with the fractured bone. He touched the skin there with a light poke and grimaced at the tenderness of the skin there.
He trailed his eyes upwards and frowned at his reflection. The nurse at the hospital had cleaned up the trail of dried up blood against his cheek while he cleansed and checked over his wounds, but it barely made a difference. His face was blotched up with bruises, bright red marks against his cheekbones. The skin atop his cheekbone had been scraped open and he lifted his hand to tentatively touch just beneath the corner of his lip, rubbing against the scab formed there, and hissed at the way it ached.
He lowered his hand further to his chin and felt bitterness rising in his throat. The way Omaeda held his face and the roughness of his touch was still vivid in his mind. If he scrubbed and washed the skin rough enough tonight, perhaps he could wash that memory away.
He heaved out a breath and it sent another wave of pain through his chest. The painkillers would take a while longer to kick in.
“Takoi-san?”
Takoi jumped at Shiono’s voice cutting through his thoughts and yelped when the door was suddenly pushed open, his hands instinctively going up to his chest and pressing his shirt against himself, hiding his body beneath it.
“Are you alright?” Shiono asked, grip still on the door handle, and gaze roaming all over Takoi.
“You scared me! Why didn’t you knock?!”
“You’ve been inside for a while and I didn’t hear the water running yet. I was worried you fell and you hurt yourself.”
“You would have definitely heard something if I had fallen.”
“Maybe.” Shiono frowned as he finally seemed to register the sight ahead of him, “Why are you hiding yourself? There’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”
“Huh?” Takoi looked down at himself then back at Shiono and chuckled, “My body right now isn’t really a sight pleasant to the eyes. I don’t think you would want to see it.”
Shiono’s frown deepened at Takoi’s answer and didn’t utter a word in return. He stepped in and shut the bathroom door behind him.
“Shiono?”
Shiono placed his hand atop his, grasping it with a tender squeeze, “Let me?”
His voice was quiet and gentle. Takoi was unsure what Shiono was requesting of him, yet he was helpless with the way his body acted and he found himself nodding and allowing Shiono to loosen his hold of the shirt.
Shiono took the shirt and folded it, pressing his hand against it to smoothen it out, and placed it by the hamper. The shirt was all wrinkled and crumpled up. He’ll need to hand wash it to get rid of the bloodstains. It didn’t deserve such tenderness or care at all.
“There’s no need for all of that.”
“It’s still Takoi-san’s shirt.” Shiono glanced back at him, his eyes glistening with a warmth telling him there was more to his words when he spoke, “Its bruised up state won’t change my feelings towards it. Nothing would.”
There was a tightness in his chest, so sudden and heavy pinning him in his spot, and so overwhelmed by it and by Shiono’s relentless gaze.
Shiono stepped closer and slowly traced Takoi’s bruises with the tips of his fingers. His touches were tender and featherlight, barely there, and Takoi had to fight back shivers.
“I want to remember it well.” Shiono whispered.
“Why?” Takoi asked, voice barely coming out, and throat all dry.
“I don’t want to forget what I felt today. I can’t let it happen again.” Shiono muttered, the distress clear in his voice.
Takoi reached for his hand, “I don’t want you to be driven by the thought of losing me.”
Shiono was looking at him again, but Takoi couldn’t meet his gaze yet. He rubbed his thumb against the tender skin of the inner part of his wrist, where the band of his watch met his skin. His promise of a future together sat snug and right on Shiono’s wrist.
“Won’t this be enough of a reason?”
Shiono turned his hand and slipped it into Takoi’s, while he cupped his cheek with his other hand. He rubbed his thumb against his cheek, a tender touch enough to ease that tightness and bitterness of earlier, and Shiono pulled him in for his answer.
Turns out he doesn’t need roughness to help him forget. The tenderness of a beloved gentle hand did the job.
He was smiling when he leaned back, “Am I allowed to take a shower now?”
Shiono connected their lips for another lingering kiss again and whispered against his lips, “You were the one delaying it.”
“Right, but now you’re the one delaying it.”
Shiono leaned back, grinning brightly and proud at him. Somehow, it felt like he walked right into his trap without realising it; Shiono had baited him into this.
“Then I should take responsibility for my actions.”
“Wait—what are you doing?!” Takoi swatted Shiono’s hand away from his belt, but he just patiently moved Takoi’s hands away, unfazed by it, and was back to unbuckling his belt.
“I’m taking off the rest of your clothes.”
Takoi stood still and watched Shiono’s skilled hands as he undid his pants next and pulled down the zipper, not fighting it back anymore, “Yeah, I can see that and I can do it myself.”
“I know.” Shiono pulled his pants and leaned down.
He felt slightly ridiculous, so vulnerably on display, and raised his foot to pull it out his pants and switched to his other foot as Shiono pulled off the other side.
“Are you satisfied? Will you let me shower now?” Takoi asked, while Shiono tossed his clothes in the hamper.
Shiono took off his watch and gently placed it atop the sink’s counter, then rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. Takoi blinked, “Shiono?”
“Yes?”
“What are you doing?”
“Taking off my watch. I don’t want it to get wet.”
“Why would it get wet?”
Shiono dragged the bath stool and placed it in the center, “Because I’ll wash your hair.”
“There is no need for that!” Takoi spluttered and Shiono sighed.
He placed his hand atop his shoulders and turned him around, guiding him to sit down, “I know, I know. You can do it, but I just want to. How many times have we gone through this tonight? And it’ll be quicker this way. It’s already getting late, Takoi-san.”
It won’t. Takoi wanted to argue, but somehow he couldn’t utter the words and sat down without a protest.
This wasn’t the way he expected his evening to go. And he certainly didn’t expect to be here right now sitting atop the bath stool, patiently awaiting Shiono as he filled the bath bucket with warm water.
“Tilt your head back a bit.” Shiono directed him, voice gentle and echoing in the quietness of the bathroom.
He kept a hand by his forehead and poured the water, preventing it from running down his face. He grabbed the shampoo bottle next and Takoi heard the click of the lid. He focused his gaze ahead, staring at the tiled wall, and tried not to think of how foreign this all was. His body was rigid, still unsure where to keep his arms, and settled on holding tightly onto his knees.
Shiono pushed his hair back and applied the shampoo to the roots of his hair and began washing his hair. Takoi shut his eyes and leaned back into Shiono’s touches, swaying slightly in his spot. He could feel himself slowly loosening, unclenching his hands, and shoulders dropping as Shiono massaged the shampoo into his scalp.
Shiono raked his fingers through his hair, untangling it and applying the shampoo through to the tips of his hair. Takoi was melting under his touch and attention. Any further and he was going to get all putty.
Takoi sighed at the lightness in his limbs spreading and the sensation of weightlessness engulfing him at Shiono’s gentle touches. It earned him a quiet, small chuckle from Shiono, a small sound, so vulnerable and tender, and all for Takoi to hear.
“You seem to be enjoying this. I should do this often.” Shiono murmured.
“I can’t have this frequently. Will get too spoiled.”
Shiono hummed, “Maybe I want to spoil you.”
He could hear the dripping of the water from the faucet and realized his own eyes were watering a tad too late. He feigned a yawn, hoping to blame the tears on his drowsiness, and if Shiono noticed it he was kind enough to not mention it and proceeded to rinse out the shampoo out of his hair.
He shooed Shiono away after that, determined on washing his own body, and Shiono laughed but obliged. He only got in the bathroom again after Takoi was done and he’d gone to take a shower himself.
Kamekichi was in the corner of the tank, eyes shut, when Takoi stepped back into the living area. He mumbled a quiet apology and switched off the main lights around the room. He left the small lamp by his bedside table on and collapsed on his bed, not bothering to push the covers aside. His hair was damp and he could feel the droplets of water dropping atop the towel draped over his shoulders, but he didn’t bother moving and instead had his gaze roaming around the place.
His blazer and necktie were draped over the side of the couch. The kitchen was tidied up, dishes washed and countertops wiped, and stored in the fridge were the leftovers Shiono had purposely prepared so Takoi would have a meal ready for the next day.
Without realizing it, Takoi was suddenly so loved.
He drifted asleep like that, lulled by the muted sound of the running water in the back, and with thoughts of a warm familiar smile.
“Takoi-san, your back is going to hurt.”
Takoi blinked his eyes open at Shiono’s familiar voice, “Huh?”
It was all quiet now and Shiono was by his bedside. His hair was still damp and Takoi figured it hadn’t been long since he got out of the shower.
He blinked his eyes at him and Shiono’s lips tugged up into a warm smile.
His hair wasn’t styled or combed and Takoi knew how soft it would feel under his hand. He was wearing an old pair of tshirt and sweatpants he’d kept in one of the drawers of Takoi’s closet.
There was something about this Shiono, all soft featured and tender, smiling warmly at him, and all casually dressed.
He looked much younger like this. He was much younger than Takoi, his brain supplemented belatedly. He chuckled and Shiono raised a brow, “What?”
“Nothing. I just remembered something.”
He shifted, aiming to scoot back to make space for Shiono, but froze at the ache spreading through his neck and back. Oh, so this is what Shiono meant.
“Ugh.” He groaned and went to grab his pillow, but Shiono beat him to it and set the pillows upright, but inclining them slightly. When Takoi leaned back this time, his back and neck were supported, but he wasn’t also fully sitting upright. It was enough of a comfortable position to sleep without straining his body and injuries further.
“I’m going to be alone tomorrow. You’ve got to stop spoiling me.” He pushed the covers aside and held the blanket up for Shiono as he got in bed beside him.
He fixed the blanket around them and Shiono leaned back to switch off the bedside lamp, “You’ve got the entire week off, right?”
“Yes.”
The light went off and it left the room lit by a bluey haze of the lights from outside, filtered by the thin curtains. Shiono scooted closer to him and turned slightly to meet his gaze, “Then come stay with me for the week.”
“I don’t think you understand the meaning of you spoiling me.”
Takoi reached out for him and pressed his lips against his for a quick kiss. He could feel the way Shiono was smiling into it.
Shiono reached his arm behind Takoi and tugged him slightly closer, until their bodies were pressed against each other, and Takoi instinctively leaned his head back against Shiono’s shoulder.
Shiono hummed, satisfied by the way Takoi was pressed against him, and already knowing Takoi wasn’t disagreeing with the idea.
“This way, I can help you with anything you need and you can rest properly. We can easily take Kamekichi with us too. I’ve already got a proper tank set up there.”
A part of him was telling him he should be panicking and refusing, but he was trying to get better at this being honest to himself thing. Besides, it was difficult to turn this down when he was tucked by Shiono’s side and Shiono had made sure to spoil him and look after him the entire evening.
Knowing him, he probably had planned it all out.
So all Takoi ended up blurting out is, “Are you taking Kamekichi from me?”
“Not at all.” Shiono laughed, arm tightening around his waist at Takoi’s indirect agreement, “You’re taking Kamekichi back with you. I need all the extra excuses to come visit.”
“You don’t need an excuse to drop by.”
“I know.” He pressed a kiss atop his head and Takoi felt himself melting against Shiono, “I meant I need an excuse to tell others.”
“I think Date-san already knows visiting your turtle is just an excuse.” Takoi sighed, “So I’ll also need to wake up early tomorrow.”
“Yes.”
“But at least I’ll be able to go back to sleep once we reach your place. You’re the one heading to work.”
“Yes, but I’ll be the one coming back home to you. That will be enough to get me through the day.”
Takoi felt his heart tug at that. Perhaps one day, things would be different. Perhaps one day it would all be more permanent and Takoi would be coming home to Shiono too.
“Hope you won’t get bored of me after a week.”
“Takoi-san, didn’t I say earlier that when the day comes, I would transfer you to me whether it may be, so we can stay together for good? I wouldn’t ever get bored of you. I’m already dreading the fact the week will be over eventually and I wish it was permanent.”
Takoi laughed, but it was a gentle thing, and he squeezed Shiono’s hand, “One day it will be. But for now, this will do.”
“Yeah.”
“If you get bored of me, I’ll shoot you.” He repeated Shiono’s words from earlier the same evening and it earned him a bright laugh from Shiono, a sound so bright and light, if it was all those months ago, he could have never imagined hearing it from Shiono.
He smiled and was expecting Shiono to mimic his own words back at him, “How terrifying.”
They do make quite a pair.