Chapter Text
It Was Always You - Maroon 5
8:32 am: I woke up sweating from a dream. It had to do with my best friend. He's just in the other room. I don't know what to do... so I get up and take a shower. I need to cool off. Then I guess I'll start my day early.
1:23 pm: I've been thinking of Phil with a different kind of feeling... I'm not sure yet. It makes me nervous, excited, terrified, elated. I don't know why I dreamed of us like that.
9:16 pm: All day long my heart was beating. I could hear it pounding away every time I even thought of him. What's wrong with me?
3:22 am: I'm just staring at the ceiling, searching for the meaning... wondering. I've been up all day. I can't sleep, thinking about him. My best friend. It can't be... love? Oh god. It's love. I love my best friend. I love... Phil. Oh. Ohh. That makes sense. I love him......
10:08 am: Hazel eyes I was so color blind... they're blue and green and yellow. The first time I watched his videos I couldn't tell what color they were... they're so beautiful! Oh no, I really have it bad.
10:45 am: We were just wasting time. For my whole life, I never considered that I could be in love with him and now I'm twenty.
10:50 am: We've never crossed the line, that keeps us a platonic distance apart. We were only friends in my mind, but I was so wrong.
11:01 am: But now I realized... I need to talk to him. I love him. We need to discuss.
11:05 am: "Phil... I've been looking for love. But I realized, finally, that it's right here. It was always you. I can't believe I could not see it all this time. Now I know why my heart wasn't satisfied."
"Dan... I, um... I... I love you too. This whole time." He stood, and stepped towards me. I wasn't sure what to do, but I stepped towards him. He reached out, like he thought he was dreaming but also had been wanting this forever and was afraid to take it.
"Phil? Please kiss me."
He smiled and pulled me towards him and into a beautiful kiss.
11:11 Now there's no more guessing who it is that I've always needed.
Looking back now I know it was always you... always you, Phil. Always you. Since 2009, it was you.
All my hidden desires finally came alive as I kissed Phil. I put my hand in his hair and pressed against him, rubbing his back with my other hand. I moved my hands to his hair, and wound my fingers through out. I rubbed his cheekbone with my thumb. It was magical. It was all I'd ever wanted.
Suddenly he pulled away. "Wait.. is this for real. Like, is this a prank? Am I dreaming?"
"No I never told a lie to you so why would I start tonight?" I answered. Truthfully.
Yesterday morning, when I woke up sweating from a dream with a different kind of feeling, I had no idea I'd be here now. Kissing Phil Lester for the second time. Wrapping my arms around him to never let go. Caressing his lips and tongue with my own, my hand on his jaw and arm around his shoulders. His arms around my waist, pulling me into a world of him.
It was always you
Can't believe I could not see it all this time, all this time
It was always you
Now I know why my heart wasn't satisfied, satisfied
It was always you
No more guessing who
Looking back now I know it was always you, always you