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Sirius has always liked making playlists for different things. He has a playlist for cleaning, working out, sketching or painting, and even studying. His best friend and roommate James has teased him for the amount of playlists he makes. James has teased him saying he always finds a way to make a playlist for any occasion. Sirius has no problem sharing his playlists with other people. When James and him are cleaning their apartment Sirius will turn on his cleaning playlist. If he is working out with James he will put on his workout playlist.
There is only one playlist that Sirius has never shared with anyone else, and that is because it is very private. It wasn't on a site like his other playlist, because it was that private. It was only on his laptop and his phone. He had it on the storage drive that was connected to both of them. It was private because it was songs he had written himself about the guy he had a crush on. He had to keep his crush a secret, because the guy was his twin brother Regulus' best friend Remus. Sirius has had a crush on Remus ever since he first met him earlier this year. It is their freshman year of college. He even thought about asking Remus out until he found out Remus is his brother's best friend. Sirius knew that his brother would not approve of him going out with Remus. Regulus would think that Sirius was only asking Remus out to prank him. Sirius remembers the day they first met.
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~ Flashback ~
Sirius was in the library looking for a book he needed for his English class. Just as he goes to reach for the book someone else is reaching for a book beside it and their fingers brush.
“I'm sorry.” Sirius says at the same time as the other guy.
Sirius looks at the most gorgeous guy he has ever seen. He has light brown curly hair and blue eyes.
“It's ok.” The guy replies.
Sirius holds his hand out. “My name is Sirius. Nice to meet you.” He says.
The guy shakes his hand. “My name is Remus. Nice to meet you too.” He says.
“Remus. That's a different name, but then again who am I to talk with a name like. Sirius. That's from Roman mythology right?” Sirius says.
“Yes.” Remus smiles. “Not many people know that, and I happen to know your name comes from the brightest star in the canis major constellation. Also known as the dog star.” He says.
Sirius gives him a shocked look. “Are you a fan of astronomy?” He asks.
“A bit. I guess this college is the place for unusual names. My name is Remus. Yours is Sirius, and my best friend's name is Regulus.” Remus says.
Sirius looks at him wide eyed. “Did you say Regulus?” He asks.
Remus nods. “Yeah, do you know him?” He asks.
Sirius rubs the back of his neck. “You could say that. He is my twin brother.” He says.
Remus looks at him shocked. “Wow. You two don't look that much alike. I mean I can see a bit of the similarities, but I wouldn't have thought you were twins.” He says.
“Yeah, we get that a lot.” Sirius says, chuckling.
Just then Regulus comes around the corner. “There you are Remus I have been looking for you.” Then he looks between Remus and Sirius. “Do you two know each other?” He asks.
“No, Reggie. We just met when we bumped into each other getting books. I should probably get my book and head out.” Sirius says, he grabs the book he needs off the shelf and takes off.
Sirius knows that even though he likes Remus he could never act on the feelings. Even if Remus likes him back. Regulus would never allow it to happen.
~ End Of Flashback ~
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This afternoon Sirius had the apartment to himself for a couple hours. James was at an afternoon class, and then he was supposed to hang out with Lily. So he decided to take advantage of his alone time to work on a new song he has been writing. He wants to be able to add it to his secret playlist. Sirius enjoys writing and recording these songs, but he doesn't know if he will ever feel comfortable enough to share them with anyone else.
Sirius gets out his notebook with his lyrics in it. Then he gets his guitar out and makes sure it is tuned correctly. Once he is done he starts playing the song and singing the lyrics. He plays the song the whole way through once. After he finishes playing it the first time he takes a drink of water. Then he makes sure everything is ready to record the song. When he is ready he hits the record button and starts playing his song again. He finishes playing his song and hits to end the recording. Then he listens to the recording to see what it sounds like. It sounds good to him, so now he edits the parts out where he started and stopped the record and adds it to his playlist.
After he adds the song to his playlist he decides to listen to his playlist since he is alone. He decides to work on his sketch for his art class. Sirius is so focused on his sketch that he doesn't hear the front door open or the sound of footsteps as James makes his way to his room. He hears James ask, “What are you listening to?”
Sirius drops his pencil and sketchbook as he scrambles to stop the song. “Nothing.” He says.
James walks into his room. “Yes, you were listening to something. What was it?” He says.
“It was just a song I recorded.” Sirius says.
“Really? I want to hear it.” James says.
“I don't know.” Sirius says.
“Please, Padfoot, I want to hear it. I won't laugh. I promise.” James says.
Sirius breaths out. “Ok, I will let you hear a little bit of it.” He says, as he clicks the song back up.
James listens to the song for a bit. He hears it say about blue eyes and curls. The description sounds like someone he knows, but he can't place who.
After listening to the song a bit longer and thinking about it James thinks he knows who the song is describing. He turns to Sirius and asks, “Did you write a song about Remus?” He asks. James knew Remus, because Remus was also friends with Lily.
“Why would you think it's about Remus?” Sirius asks.
“It says about a guy with blue eyes and curls, and Remus has both of those. Also not to mention I have seen you stare at him before.” James says.
“If you have noticed, that means other people probably have too.” Sirius says, smacking his forehead.
“Not necessarily. I just know you Sirius and I know what you are like when you have a crush. So did you write that song about Remus?” James says.
Sirius blushes. “I might have.” He says.
“Did you or didn't you?” James asks.
Sirius bites his lip as he blushes more. “Yes, I wrote a song about him.” He says.
“Do you like Remus?” James asks.
“Yes.” Sirius replies.
“Have you ever told him?” James asks.
Sirius shakes his head. “No.” He says.
“Why not?” James asks.
Sirius sighs. “He is Reggie's best friend. You know that there is no way he would be ok with it.” He says.
James asks, “what if Remus likes you back?"
“It doesn't matter, Prongs. Besides, he probably doesn't even like me back. I don't even know how I would tell him.” Sirius says.
“Let him hear the song.” James says.
Sirius looks at him wide eyed. “No, I can't do that. I don't even know if the song is any good.” He says.
“It is good, trust me. You should let him hear it. You don't have to let him know you wrote it until you see how he reacts, or tell Regulus you like Remus and see if he would be ok with you asking him out.” James says.
Sirius scoffs and says, “Yeah, I can see that going over well.”
“You never know until you try.” James says.
Sirius sighs. “I’ll think about it.” He says.
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Sirius thinks about what James says to him. He decides to let Regulus hear one of the songs he wrote about his feelings for Remus and see what he says.
It is a couple days later and Sirius goes to Regulus' place to see if he is there. He is pretty sure Regulus should be there since he doesn't have class right now, and he is hoping that Remus isn't also there. Sirius knocks on the front of Regulus' place. Regulus rolls his eyes when he opens the door. “What do you want, Sirius?” He asks.
“I wanted to let you hear a song I wrote. I wanted another opinion on it, and I knew you would be honest.” Sirius says.
“Ok, I have some time so I guess you can play it for me.” Regulus says.
Sirius pulls out his phone and plays the song he let James hear a couple of days ago. After the song finishes Sirius looks to see Regulus' reaction.
“It's not bad.” Regulus says.
“Is that all you have to say?” Sirius asks.
“What else do you want me to say? It's a song about someone having feelings for someone. You know I'm not as into music as you are. If you want someone else's opinion on it Remus is going to be here in a bit, so you can ask him.” Regulus says.
Sirius is about to say no, that is ok that he will find someone to ask. Before he can say anything the front door opens and Remus walks in. Regulus says, “Remus just in time. Sirius wants an opinion on a song he wrote, and since you know more about music than I do I figured you could help.”
“Sure I can give you my opinion.” Remus says.
“Go on, Sirius play the song for Remus.” Regulus says.
Both of them watch Sirius expectedly and he knows he has no other choice but to play the song. Sirius plays the song and watches Remus' face for any signs of what he was feeling. He couldn't tell what Remus was thinking. When the song finishes Remus says, “That was a pretty good song. The guy you wrote it about is very lucky.”
Sirius blushes. “Thank you.” He says.
“You are welcome. You are a really talented singer.” Remus says.
“Thank you.” Sirius blush worsens. “I should probably head out. Catch you guys later. Thanks for all the help.” He says as he heads for the door.
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Later Sirius is sitting in his apartment watching a movie with James and Lily when his phone vibrates. He pulls it out and sees he has a text from a number that he doesn't know.
?: Hey.
Sirius: Hi, who is this?
?: Remus. I got your number out of Regulus' phone.
Sirius looks at his phone screen shocked. He couldn't believe Remus was texting him. Sirius saves Remus' number to his contacts.
Sirius: Hi, Remus. How are you?
Remus: I am good. How are you?
Sirius: I am good.
Remus: I really liked that song you played earlier. It was really good.
Sirius: Thank you.
Remus: I noticed that the guy the lyrics described sounded a bit familiar.
Sirius is worried. He wonders if Remus figured out the song was about him, and what he is going to say.
Sirius: He did?
Remus: I don't mean to sound conceited, but it sounded like it was talking about me.
Sirius feels like the air had been sucked out of his lungs.
Sirius: How would you feel about it if it was?
Remus: I would be very flattered that there was a song written about me, but I would also wonder why it was written. Like did you just write it to write, or do you like me.
Sirius knows it's now or never. He takes a deep breath.
Sirius: I wrote the song about you, because I like you.
Remus: Really?
Sirius: Yes. I have liked you since the day we met. I just didn't know how to tell you. Especially after I found out you are my brother’s best friend.
Remus: What does that have to do with anything?
Sirius: Reggie wouldn't like me being interested in you.
Remus: Why would he care who you like?”
Sirius: I don't know. I guess I just figured he wouldn't like me asking his friend out.
Remus: What if I want you to ask me out?
Sirius: Are you serious?
Remus: No, you are, but all jokes aside. Yes I am serious about liking you.
Sirius: You like me too?
Remus: Yes, I liked you when I first met you, but I didn't think you liked me.
Sirius: Would you like to hang out sometime? I have other songs I wrote that I want you to hear.
Remus: Other songs? Are they about me?
Sirius: Yes, I have a playlist with a couple songs I wrote about my feelings for you. I didn't think I would ever get to act on them, so I wrote about them to express them in some way.
Remus: I would like to hear them sometime.
Sirius: Are you free tomorrow afternoon?
Remus: Yeah.
Sirius: How about you come over to my place and I will let you hear the other songs.
Remus: I would like that. See you tomorrow.
Sirius: See you tomorrow.
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Sirius is getting ready for when Remus comes over. He knows it probably isn't a date, but he still wants to look good. Sirius is wearing a black Queen t-shirt, and his tightest pair of black skinny jeans. He pulls his hair up into a messy bun, and then puts on some eyeliner.
After he is ready Sirius goes out into the living room to wait for Remus. It is a little while later when Sirius hears a knock on the door. He gets up and answers the door. When he sees Remus he smiles and moves out of the way to allow Remus to come in. Sirius leads Remus over to the couch.
“Can I get you anything to drink?” Sirius asks.
“Just water is fine.” Remus replies.
“Ok, I'll be right back.” Sirius says
Sirius comes back with a bottle of water for Remus and hands it to him. Then he sits down beside him.
“How are you?” Remus asks.
“I'm good. How are you?” Sirius says.
“I'm good too.” Remus replies.
“Do you still want to hear my other songs?” Sirius asks.
“Yeah, I would like that.” Remus says.
Sirius pulls out his phone and pulls up his playlist. Then he clicks on the first song on the playlist and plays it. He watches Remus' face as he plays the song.
After the song finishes he stops the playlist. “Did you like it?” Sirius asks.
“Yeah, I did. It was really good. You are a really talented musician.” Remus says.
“Thank you.” Sirius says, blushing.
Remus moves closer to Sirius. “There is something I have wanted to do that day back in the library when we first met.” He says.
Sirius swallows. “What's that?” He asks.
“This.” Remus says, pulling Sirius into a kiss.
Sirius melts into the kiss. He feels sparks when their lips meet. It is a really good kiss. When Remus breaks the kiss he leans his forehead against Sirius.
“Wow, that kiss was amazing.” Sirius says.
“Yeah, it was.” Remus agrees.
“I wouldn't mind doing that again.” Sirius says.
“Neither would I.” Remus agrees.
Sirius pulls Remus into another kiss. They were so busy kissing they didn't hear the front door open. Neither of them heard anyone else walk in until they heard. “I was wondering when they would happen.”
They break the kiss and turn towards the door, and see Regulus standing there. Sirius gives him a confused look. “What do you mean you were wondering when it would happen?” He asks.
“Oh, please I’m not blind or stupid. I could see the way you both looked at each other. Not to mention I totally knew that song you wrote was about Remus.” Regulus says.
“Are you ok with it? I thought you would be mad.” Sirius says.
“I'm not thrilled about it, but I will learn to live with it. As long as you are both happy and I don't have to see anything.” Regulus says.
“Ok, got you bro.” Sirius says.
“I am serious. I don't want to see my brother and my best friend making out or anything else like that.” Regulus says.
“You're not Sirius I am.” Sirius says, laughing.
Regulus groans and rolls his eyes. ”You are insufferable.” He says, as he turns to leave.
Remus and Sirius both laugh as they hear the front door slam. “Now where were we?” Remus asks.
“I think we were right about here.” Remus replies, pulling Sirius into a kiss.