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Neji had never considered himself particularly sensitive to criticism, mostly because he had spent the majority of his childhood internalising that he was lesser, that he was destined to remain beneath those born into the main house, and that no amount of effort would ever change the circumstances of his birth. After years of it, Neji had learned how to ignore most insults before they could reach him, because words were only words, and he had long since stopped caring about the perspective of others.
The training field was nearly empty by the time Neji finished the last of his routine, the sun already beginning to dip below the trees and casting long shadows across the grass. He was a short distance away from his teammates, slowly rewrapping his hands after his sparring match, and his muscles were aching from the effort, but it was a good kind of ache. His final match had been against Lee, and although neither of them had managed to secure a decisive victory, Neji had forced Lee to work considerably harder than usual, with several moments where Neji had nearly managed to land the final strike before Lee narrowly avoided it. It had been challenging, but it had also been fun in the way that only sparring with his teammates could be.
Neji was quite satisfied with the way training had gone today, and from the looks on their faces, he could tell his teammates and sensei were too.
He had just finished tightening the bandage around his palm when another shinobi approached him, someone Neji vaguely recognized from around the village but had never actually spoken to before. He looked Neji up and down for a moment before glancing towards the training field, and Neji immediately found himself on the defensive, tensing.
“You're Neji Hyuga, aren't you?” the shinobi asked, and Neji glanced towards him with a neutral expression. The question itself was unnecessary, considering there were very few Hyuga children in the village who were genin and Neji was still wearing his forehead protector, but he simply nodded in response. “I heard you're supposed to be some kind of genius,” the shinobi continued, and Neji raised one eyebrow at the strange choice of words.
“Supposed to be?” Neji asked, his expression remaining carefully neutral as he waited for the explanation. The shinobi gave a short laugh, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked Neji over, while making it feel like he was looking down on Neji.
“I've seen many better Genin than you,” the man replied, and Neji felt his jaw tighten slightly despite his efforts to remain calm. The words were irritating, but they were hardly anything worth reacting to. “You're not as impressive as everyone says. Honestly, after watching you fight, I don't understand what all the fuss is about.” the shinobi added, giving Neji a smug smirk.
Neji stared at him for a moment, wondering if there was supposed to be some sort of point to the conversation. He had spent years figuring out how to not rise to provocations, and he had no intention of giving some random shinobi the satisfaction of knowing that his words had bothered Neji to the point of reaction.
“Then perhaps you should find one of those Genin to watch,” Neji replied, turning away as he reached down to pick up the rest of his things. He expected the conversation to end there, because generally people lost interest once they realized how dry and flat his responses are.
“Look at you. Pathetic,” The shinobi said, laughing, and finally walking away.
Neji told himself that he did not care. He continued walking towards his teammates, keeping his posture straight and his expression neutral, ignoring the echoing words in his head.
When Lee called his name, Neji looked at him with the same calm expression he always wore, even though inside he was quite irritated- not at the comment, but at himself for letting it get under his skin.
“Neji!” Lee exclaimed, jogging towards him with Tenten close behind. “That was an incredible match! I thought you had me for sure when you used that last combination!” Lee continued, practically glowing with excitement as he approached.
“You were careless,” Neji replied, adjusting the strap of his bag over his shoulder.
“Perhaps, but that only means I must train harder for next time!” Lee exclaimed, holding up one fist enthusiastically. Tenten rolled her eyes at him as she approached, although there was an amused smile on her face.
“You two are impossible,” Tenten said, shaking her head, “It's getting late, and Guy-sensei wants us back at the apartment before dinner.”
Neji nodded, glancing towards the darkening sky before looking back at them. “I'll meet you there,” he replied, and before either of them could question him further, he turned and started walking. “I need to do something first.”
By the time he reached the edge of the village, the sun had nearly disappeared completely, leaving only the faintest traces of orange between the trees. He should have gone with them, and he knew that, because there was nothing particularly useful he could accomplish by wandering around the village after training when his muscles were already aching and his teammates were waiting for him. However, Neji knew that unless he fixed his mindset quickly, his teammates would pick up on his mood, and then they’ll pester him. Neji did not want to be pestered.
He found himself sitting beneath one of the larger trees near the training grounds, his back resting against the trunk as he stared down at his hands. “Look at you. Pathetic.” Neji repeated, tasting the words in his mouth, as he squeezed his fingers into his palms, nails digging into the sensitive skin. The phrase meant nothing, the man had been trying to upset him, and Neji was allowing him to succeed even now. There was no reason for him to still be thinking about it, because he knew his own abilities better than some stranger ever could. He trained with Lord Hiashi, head of the Hyuga clan, and with Might Guy.
So why did the words still ring in his head?
Neji stared at the grass between his feet as his thoughts continued to circle around the same question. He had thought he was past this, because he had spent years convincing himself that the opinions of other people no longer mattered to him. He had his destiny to fulfill, and then he would die, so why should anyone else’s words matter to him?
Yet here he was, sitting alone beneath a tree because someone had called him pathetic. The uncomfortable tightness in his chest, and the way his eyes burned despite the fact that he absolutely refused to cry, made him itch with self-hatred. He despised how some tiny part of him had believed the words, because they weren’t true! They couldn’t be.
Neji swallowed hard and pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, taking several slow breaths in an attempt to calm himself down. He had thought he was better than this, had he not
gotten past the part of himself that needed to prove that he was strong? He knew he was strong. So why did he care so much?
A twig snapped somewhere behind him, and Neji immediately straightened, wiping at his eyes before turning around. Lee stood several feet away, his expression unusually serious, and Neji immediately wondered how long he had been there.
“Neji?” Lee asked quietly, and Neji looked away from him. Lee took a few hesitant steps closer, before finally sitting down several feet away from Neji beneath.
“What are you doing here?” Neji asked, trying to keep his voice steady. He was sure he looked ridiculous, but Lee didn’t seem to mind.
“I was looking for you,” Lee answered, resting his hands loosely in his lap. “You were gone for so long, and we were beginning to worry.”
“I told you guys I had something to take care of,” Neji said, looking down at the grass again.
“But you didn't tell us what it was.” Lee replied, and Neji nodded like that explanation made sense. Stupid nosey teammates, always sniffing around where they weren’t needed, or wanted.
Neji said nothing, because there was no reasonable explanation he could give without admitting what had actually happened, he wasn’t about to confess that to Lee.
“You're upset,” Lee said finally, and Neji frowned at him, crossing his arms with a derisive huff.
“I am not,” Neji replied, although the response lacked the conviction he would have preferred.
“You are,” Lee argued, and Neji glanced at him with an irritated expression.
“You don't know that,” Neji shot back, wishing that Lee would just drop it, but like usual, Lee wouldn’t let anything go.
“I know you,” Lee replied, and Neji's expression faltered, and he hesitated with his next words. Lee did know him, now, and that would always be a problem. Lee didn’t know everything, but Lee knew his habits. He knew how Neji was when he was tired, frustrated, injured, and when he was trying to convince everyone that none of those things were true. Neji looked away again, his fingers picking anxiously at the edge of one of his bandages. He couldn’t look at Lee for his next words, as an embarrassed flush appeared on his cheeks.
“Someone said something to me,” Neji admitted quietly, and Lee waited patiently for him to continue. “They called me pathetic,” Neji finally said, his voice becoming quieter as the words left his mouth.
“They were wrong,” Lee said firmly, and Neji gave a bitter little laugh, shaking his head as he heard more than saw Lee get closer.
“You don't even know what happened,” Neji sighed, finally looking up at Lee, to see a surprisingly angry expression on his face.
“I don't need to,” Lee huffed, his expression softening as he looked at Neji. “I know how hard you train. I see how much effort you put into everything you do. I watch you keep going long after everyone else has stopped because you think you have something to prove.” Neji stared at him, his throat suddenly tight again, but for an entirely different, definitely non-Lee related reason. “And I know that you're one of the strongest people I've ever met,” Lee continued, his voice quiet but firm. “So if someone looks at you for five minutes and decides that you're pathetic, then they are the one who doesn't know what they're looking at!”
Neji swallowed, looking down at his hands again as he tried to ignore the tightness in his throat. Must be allergies…
“You're so emotional,” Neji muttered, and Lee smiled, blindingly bright.
“I have been told that before!” Lee responded, and Neji could not quite stop the tiny smile that appeared on his face. They remained beneath the tree for another few minutes, and Neji found that the longer Lee sat beside him, the less important the words seemed to become. They were still there, somewhere in the back of his mind, but they no longer felt quite as intrusive as they had before. A few minutes later, a familiar voice called his name from the edge of the clearing.
“There you are!” Tenten exclaimed, walking towards them with Guy-sensei following close behind. “We've been looking everywhere for you two!”
“I told you I had something to take care of,” Neji said for the second time that night, although his voice was considerably less defensive than it had been when Lee first found him.
“And you did,” Tenten said, crouching down in front of him as she looked him over carefully. “Seems like that something was sitting under a tree looking miserable.”
“I do not look miserable,” Neji replied, frowning at her as he looked at Lee. Lee looked away, whistling.
“You absolutely do,” Tenten countered, and Neji's frown deepened, an offended look appearing on his face.
“I don't,” Neji insisted, uncrossing his arms and straightening his posture. He didn’t look miserable!
“You do,” Tenten sang back, and Lee covered his mouth to hide a laugh.
Guy-sensei dropped dramatically to one knee beside Tenten, his expression filled with concern as he looked between his students.
“My precious student!” Guy-sensei wailed, throwing one hand over his heart. “Who has wounded your spirit?”
Neji closed his eyes, already regretting allowing his sensei anywhere near the situation. He should have never gone off on his own, should have just suffered through a night of pestering, and gone home without the headache of his sensei’s crying.
“Please don't,” Neji said, and Guy-sensei immediately looked even more concerned, despite this being a fairly common response from Neji.
“You are clearly suffering!” Guy-sensei cried, his voice becoming louder as he gestured dramatically towards Neji. “Your youthful spirit has been damaged!”
“Guy-sensei,” Neji pleaded, wishing, not for the first time, his sensei had a little less… pizzazz.
“Who did this to you?” Guy-sensei asked finally, his expression suddenly becoming intensely serious.
Neji stared at him for several seconds before sighing, relenting, because there was no point in attempting to convince Guy-sensei that he was fine when his sensei had decided that Neji was suffering from some great emotional tragedy.
“Someone called me pathetic,” Neji finally admitted, looking away as he spoke, though he saw from the corner of his eye as Tenten's expression flattened into something that promised violence, and Guy-sensei looked as though someone had personally insulted the very concept of youth.
“Pathetic?” Tenten repeated, her eyebrows rising in disbelief. “They called you pathetic?”
Neji nodded reluctantly, picking at the bandages on his arm again. It did not get any easier to confess this time, even if he now knew his teammates were going to say kind things to him. Not that he needed their kind words, he just… Well, it was nice to hear.
“That is ridiculous,” Tenten huffed, shaking her head. “You are many things, Neji, but pathetic isn't one of them.”
Lee immediately nodded enthusiastically in agreement, while Guy-sensei appeared to be struggling to contain himself.
“My student is many things!” Guy-sensei agreed with Tenten, throwing both hands into the air. “He is talented! He is disciplined! He is hardworking! He is occasionally stubborn beyond belief, but that is merely a sign of his youthful determination!”
“You're all being ridiculous,” Neji complained, although the corner of his mouth twitched upwards despite himself.
“Come on,” Tenten said, standing and offering him a hand. “Let's go.”
Neji stared at her hand for a moment before taking it, allowing her to pull him to his feet. Neji glanced sideways at his teammates, his expression softening as he watched Lee animatedly explain how he was going to defeat Neji in their next sparring match, while Tenten interrupted every few sentences to point out all the flaws in his plan. Guy-sensei listened, occasionally offering his own completely unhelpful advice, and Neji found himself quietly listening to them.
He was embarrassed, and a little emotional, but the last thing on his mind as were those foolish fool’s words.