Work Text:
Fight
The first time it happened, Team 8 and Team 3 were working together on a mission, clearing out a group of criminals who had overtaken a mine nearby, and helping the workers get it back into shape once they were gone. It was supposed to be an easy mission, but one of the enemy shinobi had a technique that far exceeded what any of them had prepared for; she created an artificial darkness around her that only the Byakugan could see through. This left her up to Neji and Hinata. While the others were fighting the rest of the occupiers, Neji was doing his best to keep Hinata safe while also taking on the enemy.
However, the shinobi turned her full attention to Hinata, discounting Neji as he remained on the defensive. He heard Hinata's startled gasp from a few feet away from him. There was perhaps a second between the moment Neji saw the woman’s hand reach out and grab Hinata, and the moment he reached them.
He could not remember crossing the distance.
Later, Hinata would tell him that he had moved faster than she had ever seen him move during training. His palm struck the woman’s wrist first, where a sharp crack followed by a cry of pain echoed in the darkness around them, and the hand immediately released Hinata. Neji caught Hinata by the shoulder and pushed her behind him before turning back toward the attacker. The shinobi had barely managed to straighten when Neji's fingers struck two chakra points along her arm. She staggered, trying to retreat, but Neji followed her, using his Gentle Fist to cause as much damage as he could. The woman fell backward, and Neji stepped after her, his Byakugan fixed on the disrupted network of chakra beneath the woman’s skin.
“Neji!”
He barely heard Lee's voice, did not register the fact that the darkness around them had dissipated, that the limited chakra passing through the heavily damaged pathways was not enough to sustain the technique. Neji could only think about Hinata, what would have happened if she had gotten seriously hurt, or killed. He stared at the unconscious body below him, fists clenched at his sides, fighting back the urge to keep hitting his enemy, until he was certain she would never get up again.
A hand closed around his wrist before he could bring himself to do it. Neji twisted automatically, already preparing to retaliate, only to find Lee standing in front of him with his other hand raised defensively. His expression was not angry,,\ he looked concerned, which was somehow more difficult to understand.
“Neji, she is finished.” Lee told him firmly, his brows furrowed over his wide eyes. Hinata was standing behind him, looking at Neji with watering eyes. Neji looked down, his chest heaving with sudden exertion he hadn’t felt before. The shinobi lying in front of him was no longer moving. Her chest rose and fell steadily, and there was blood at the corner of her mouth. Neji took his hand back from Lee, but he unfurled his hands, forcing himself to relax.
“Is everyone else okay?” Neji asked, forcing himself back into a team leader mindset. The area around them was… slightly destroyed, but he could only see his team members still standing.
“Yes! We were lucky…” As Lee explained the fighting the others had done, Neji took stock of his body. He was still tense, his heart beating rapidly in his chest, even though the threat was now gone. There was no reason for him to be unsettled, he reminded himself.
“Thank you Lee. Let us go find the miners, and start the second half of the mission.” As the others groaned, but followed his orders, Hinata approached him.
“Neji?” He turned to her, assessing. Hinata was still standing several feet away, one hand resting over the place where the shinobi’s fingers had bruised her arm. She looked shaken, but otherwise unharmed. Her eyes met his, and after a moment she gave him a small smile. “Thank you.”
Neji blinked, confused. “No need to thank me, Lady Hinata. It’s my life’s purpose, after all.” Neji laughed a little ruefully, but Hinata just shook her head.
“Thank you.” She repeated, firmer this time, and Neji wasn’t sure how to respond, so he didn’t.
It was only later, after they had made good progress cleaning up their own mess, and made camp for the night, that Neji understood part of what had unsettled him so much. He had not thought through his response, he had simply seen Hinata in danger and acted. There had been no thought beyond stopping the rogue ninja. That was a dangerous trait for a shinobi to have, he would have to work on training it out of himself.
Flight
Neji had noticed the shinobi following them almost twenty minutes ago, though there had been little reason to be concerned by it. The forest was large, the road they were travelling along was frequently used by merchants, and the chakra signature had made no attempt to approach them. If anything, it seemed content to remain just far enough away that Neji could not determine much about them beyond their general location. He had mentioned it to Guy-sensei, but since there had been no indication that the stranger posed any threat, had not wanted to distract the others over something that could easily prove to be nothing. It was only when the chakra signature disappeared entirely that Neji stopped walking.
“Neji?” Guy-sensei questioned, turning around to face him. Neji strained his Byakugan, searching the surrounding forest, but the only chakra signatures he could see belonged to his teammates. He remained still for another moment, trying to determine whether he had somehow been mistaken earlier, but the feeling of being watched had not disappeared.
“Are you okay, Neji?!” Lee exclaimed, breaking their formation to approach Neji and reach for his shoulder. Neji smoothly dodged the touch and nodded.
“Yes, my apologies. We should keep moving.” Neji glanced back toward the path ahead of them, and then back. They started walking again, but Neji remained on high alert, feeling his adrenaline starting to spike.
The chakra signature returned several minutes later, and this time, it was closer. Neji turned just as a kunai came through the branches, catching it before it could reach Lee, dropping into his regular fighting stance. Neji searched the trees for its source, and while the shinobi clearly had some chakra suppression techniques up his sleeve, it was no match for the Byakugan, and Neji quickly identified his location. He quietly relayed the shinobi’s positioning to his teammates, everyone falling into their regular formation.
The shinobi leapt from the trees, and the exchange lasted less than a minute. The stranger was fast, but not fast enough, and Neji quickly realized that their movements were strange. They never committed to their movements. Whenever one of them attempted to close the distance, they retreated, disappearing into the trees before reappearing somewhere else. It was irritating more than anything else, and Neji found himself becoming increasingly determined to end the fight simply because he disliked the feeling of being led around. Then, Neji noticed something odd. The shinobi was only really moving when Neji did. Yes, he was dodging the attacks of Neji’s teammates, who Guy-sensei was kindly letting do as they pleased as he supervised, but every movement he made outside of that mirrored Neji’s own.
For several seconds, neither of them moved, other than the shinobi dodging Lee’s taijutsu and Tenten's kunai. If this was a trap, there was no obvious mechanism for it, and Neji could not determine what advantage the stranger hoped to gain by copying his actions. Then the shinobi disappeared, again, and even with the Byakugan Neji could not see him. Guy-sensei had clearly noticed there was something odd about this ninja too, as he called the three of them closer to him, his face switching from its joyful natural state to something more focused.
Neji stood perfectly still, forcing himself to ignore the growing uneasiness in his chest. The shinobi was using some sort of concealment technique, perhaps one that interfered with his chakra network, which would make him weaker in a fight. Neji simply needs to remain calm and wait for them to make a mistake. There was no reason to-
The shinobi appeared behind Neji, and Neji leapt away, with the others scattering as well. As good as a team the three of the Genin were, Guy-sensei decided it was time for him to step in. The enemy shinobi seemed to only have eyes for Neji, staring him down, which worked out to their advantage, as Guy-sensei started with the upper hand. His feet moved him backwards, step by step, as he watched the fight, as every spare second their enemy had was spent watching Neji. Neji didn’t notice until the enemy subdued that of the group, he had fled quite a distance.
Guy-sensei gestured for them to come forward, explaining to them how they should have tackled this enemy, but Neji could hardly pay attention. He still felt odd about the encounter. Perhaps the man had been scorned by his clan? Or did he have something against neji particularly?
Neji tried to relax his tense muscles, as they started walking again. He still had his Byakugan active, taking up the rear of their group. Lee dropped back to walk next to him, and while Guy-sensei made a squealing sound, he didn’t say anything about it.
“You were scared.” Lee said, looking at Neji, who immediately stiffened, an offended look crossing his face.
“I was not.” He retorted, giving Lee a scowl. Lee did not respond, though he didn’t leave Neji’s side either. Slowly, step by step, Neji began to relax, and he opened his mouth again. “He kept looking at me.”
“I know. He was very creepy!” Lee replied, and Neji huffed an almost laugh, a small smile crossing his face.
“Yes, I suppose he was.” Neji sighed, and his heart rate finally fell back to a regular rate, and his next breaths came far easier.
Freeze
The third time it happened, it was not during a mission. The 4 of them were in Guy-sensei's apartment, having returned from training some time ago, and there was very little happening that required his attention. Tenten had found some old notebooks that she insisted needed to be reorganized, though Neji suspected she was looking for gossip written in the margins, Lee was in the kitchen making tea and managing to make considerably more noise than was necessary for such a task, and Guy-sensei had been trying to convince all three of them that they could still fit another round of training into the evening if they simply unlocked more of their youthful vigor. Neji had been ignoring him, cleaning the dirt from beneath his fingernails with the edge of a kunai while he listened to Tenten complain about the state of their weapons storage.
Something struck the floor behind him, the sound loud in the ambient noise of the apartment.
Neji looked towards the source, Lee had dropped a wooden spoon, though what he had been using it for to make tea was beyond Neji’s knowledge. It had slipped from his hand while he was carrying it from the kitchen, bounced once against the floor, and landed a few feet away, and Neji knew all of this almost immediately, and yet he found that he suddenly could not seem to move. His fingers remained wrapped around the kunai, his shoulders held stiffly, and for a moment his lung burned as he struggled to force himself to take a breath.
“Neji?” Lee called, his usual hyper tone momentarily subdued, as his voice seemed to come from farther away than it should have. Neji inhaled sharply, and exhaled slowly, blinking at his teammate. He saw Tenten was watching him too, her hands resting on the notebook she had been flipping through. He immediately straightened, because there was no reason for either of them to be concerned and he had no desire to encourage whatever strange idea had occurred to them. They- well, mostly Lee- constantly wanted Neji to be emotionally vulnerable.
“I am fine.” Neji said flatly, staring his grip on the kunai, as his hold had changed from casual to offensive in an instant. Tenten raised an eyebrow, giving him an unimpressed look.
“No one asked.” She retorted, returning to her notebooks. Lee was biting his lip, but exercised his limited self restraint when it came to Neji, and returned to the kitchen without asking further questions.
Neji looked back down at the kunai, his grip had tightened enough that the handle was beginning to hurt his palm, and he frowned at it, loosening his fingers with some difficulty. There was no reason for that either. He had simply been startled by the noise, that was all, and if his body had reacted more strongly than necessary then that was hardly worth discussing. He returned to cleaning his nails, hoping that focusing on such a monotonous task would allow him to return to his previous relaxed state.
He made a mental note that he should not attend team ‘outings’ on days he trained with Lord Hiashi, or Hinata with Hiashi supervising. He knew those training sessions tended to leave him drained and on edge, but he had not expected the feeling to persist after training with his team. Now he knows better.
“You can put that away,” Tenten said after a moment. Neji looked at her, but she was still reading the notebook. A small blush appeared on her cheeks so clearly she had found what she was looking for. “The kunai.” She added, looking at Neji from the corner of her eye for a second before returning to the book.
“I am not finished,” Neji replied, looking down at his nails. He only had two more to go, didn’t he? He blinked, he had finished, and so he slid the blade into one of his pockets, and picked up one of the notebooks Tenten hadn’t read yet.
Neji noticed that the sounds coming from Lee’s direction were considerably quieter now, and found that somewhat irritating, because now he was aware that his teammates were treating him as though something had happened when nothing had happened.
But, as he settled into reading, he quickly forgot all about it. He understood what had Tenten so hooked… Guy-sensei had quite an interesting youth… Neji felt a small blush burn across his own face as he read the pages, faster and faster.
When Guy-sensei came around the corner, Neji noticed the movement before he looked up, and Guy-sensei lifted one hand as he stepped toward them, likely intending to gesture toward one of the notebooks. Neji did not know why his body reacted as it did, but his shoulders stiffened and his breath caught, and suddenly he was sitting perfectly still, staring at Guy-sensei's hand as though there were something dangerous about it.
Neji realized that the room had gone quiet again, and when he finally forced himself to look at Guy-sensei's face, the man was watching him with an expression Neji could not quite place. There was no anger there, and certainly no threat, which only made Neji more confused about why he had reacted to his ridiculous sensei like he was a threat. Guy-sensei would not hurt them, Neji knew that far too well.
“Neji,” he said, quieter than usual, “the notebook you're reading, it’s not quite age appropriate. Your notebook isn’t either Tenten… where did you find these?!” Guy-sensei started blushing, scooping up the notebooks and plucking the ones in Neji’s and Tenten’s hands.
Neji watched him go, his regular energy back, still trying to determine what exactly had just happened. There was nothing particularly threatening about an outstretched hand from his sensei, and Neji had spent years training himself not to react exactly like he did.
Tenten went to Guy-sensei’s bookshelf and pulled out more notebooks, and for several minutes neither of them said anything, which Neji appreciated. He returned his attention to a new notebook in front of him, though it seemed significantly more boring than the previous ones, and a few minutes later Lee returned from the kitchen carrying four cups of tea.
“Thank you.” Neji hummed, taking a sip as he looked up at Lee. Lee smiled, giving Neji a thumbs up as he delivered tea to Tenten, and set one aside for when Guy-sensei returned from hiding the notebooks.
“Of course! It is my pleasure!” Lee exclaimed, and as Tenten started filling him in on the parts of the notebook she had enjoyed most, the strange tension in Neji’s shoulders finally disappeared.
Fawn
The fourth time it happened, Neji was sitting in Lord Hiashi's study, taking slow deep breaths to try and reduce the pain in his chest. He had not intended for anyone to notice the minor injury, only a bruised rib from training that morning, and though it had hurt enough to leave him breathless when the strike first landed, the pain had dulled considerably by the time he left the compound that morning. He had continued training afterward without issue, completed the remainder of his work, and even sparred with Lee that afternoon. There had been no reason to report it.
Lord Hiashi looked up from the report in front of him. “I was told you were injured.”
“Yes, Lord Hiashi.” Neji replied, because lying would get him nowhere.
“When?” His uncle asked flatly, staring down at him from across the desk between them.
“This morning, during training with Hinata.” Neji answered in a subdued voice, trying both to keep his confidence and not look too small, and also shrink himself, take up less space so that his uncle remembers that Neji’s bruised ribs don’t matter at all in the grand scheme of things, and dismisses him.
“And you continued training.” Neji nodded, unable to help his shoulders rising slightly as Hiashi’s face contorted into something disappointed. The room seemed warmer than it had been when he entered. Neji became hyperaware of the ache beneath his ribs, a dull pressure that seemed to spread each time he breathed too deeply. “I expect you to have better judgement than that.”
The words were quiet, but firm, and Neji felt them more sharply than he would have if his uncle had raised his voice. His throat tightened, and for a moment he could think of nothing to say. He hadn’t been careless, he had assessed the injury himself and since it had not prevented him from completing his training, there was no reason to report it. An injury that causes no issues to daily functioning is hardly an injury at all.
“It did not interfere with my ability to train.” Neji said, and then froze. Neji's stomach dropped, and he could feel his heart beat thundering rapidly in his ears as he quickly lowered his gaze. What was wrong with him, challenging his clan head like that? “Forgive me, Lord Hiashi.” Neji managed to force out, his hands trembling in his lap.
The silence stretched between them as Lord Hiashi regarded him for several seconds before looking back toward the report. “That is precisely the sort of judgment I am referring to.” His uncle sighed, shaking his head.
Neji swallowed audibly, he wanted to explain himself further but he knew better than to interrupt again. Instead, he sat perfectly still and listened as Lord Hiashi told him that an injury did not need to prevent him from performing his duties before it became worth reporting, and that continuing to train simply because he was capable of doing so was not the same thing as making a sensible decision.
Neji nodded when appropriate, as his throat was so tight he didn’t think he could speak. When his uncle finished the lecture, Neji had to swallow again, to send the embarrassment and shame clogging his throat down to his stomach, where it made him nauseous.
“Yes, Lord Hiashi.” Neji agreed quietly, wishing more than anything to be out of his uncle’s eye.
“I expect you to report injuries in the future, and you will not train again until you have been cleared.” His uncle concluded, but Neji's head lifted before he could stop it.
“I can still attend the morning session with Hinata.” Neji insisted, a pit growing in his stomach. He had promised her that they could train together again tomorrow, and Neji had spent long enough disappointing his cousin.
Lord Hiashi looked at him, and Neji realized his mistake again. He was failing on all fronts tonight. He lowered his gaze, taking a steadying breath. Hiashi did not care that Neji had promised Hinata anything, Neji needed to learn better control over himself. He was incredibly lucky that Hiashi was not punishing him for speaking out of turn.
“I apologize.” Neji repeated, staring down at his hands in his lap, still trembling. He squeezed them into tight fists.”
“No, you will not attend.”
“Yes, Lord Hiashi.” Neji submitted, trying to smooth over the many mistakes he had made in the past few minutes. He wanted to say that he could just observe, that he had promised Hinata his presence. He kept his thoughts to himself.
“You are dismissed.” Lord Hiashi said, as he returned his attention to the papers on his desk.
“Yes, Lord Hiashi.” Neji bowed, keeping his gaze low as he left the room, his ribs throbbing. His breath came shallowly as he quickly made his way to his room, and he pressed his hand against his side, more out of instinct than because it helped. The pain was worse now, though perhaps that was only because he was paying attention to it. He had disappointed Lord Hiashi, his mind repeated. And now he was going to disappoint Hinata as well.
As Neji returned to his room, he changed the bandage wrapped around his chest, checked the injury again, and rewrapped his ribs. By the time he finished, the pain beneath his ribs had become a steady throb. Neji laid down, staring at his ceiling. He did not sleep much.
The following morning, he woke before dawn. For several seconds, he remained still beneath his blanket, staring at the ceiling while the soreness in his side reminded him exactly why he was not supposed to train.
He forced himself to get up and visit Hinata, apologizing to her, but she waved him off easily. Neji returned to his room, and spent the remainder of the morning reading tactical reports, busying his mind since he could not busy his body.
Once he was cleared to return to training, Neji decided that he would not make the same mistake again. He would be better, because it was the simplest way he knew to make certain Lord Hiashi had no reason to be disappointed in him again.
+1
Neji had made a mistake–not a serious one, nobody had been injured, no mission had been compromised, and there had been no lasting consequence beyond the fact that Neji had misjudged the timing of an attack during training and allowed himself to be caught off guard. Guy-sensei had called the exercise to a stop immediately afterward. He had seen the opening, recognized the opportunity, and moved before he had properly confirmed that it was real, which was a mistake he should have known better than to make.
“You moved too early,” Guy-sensei told him, shaking his head in an exaggerated motion.
“Yes, Guy-sensei.” Neji nodded, his eyes still fixed on the patch of ground where the exchange had taken place. Neji could already feel the familiar pressure beginning to settle in his chest, the uncomfortable awareness that he had done something incorrectly and that the problem remained unresolved. It was an irritating feeling, particularly when the solution seemed so simple, to just try it again, and do it right this time.
“You let your youthful excitement guide your movement, and gave Lee the opportunity he needed to defeat you.” Guy-sensei continued, his voice carrying that particular mixture of disappointment and instruction that Neji had become familiar with over the years. “You know better than that, Neji.”
“Yes, Guy-sensei.” Neji replied, the answer coming automatically. He tightened his fingers around the kunai in his hand, then loosened his grip.
“We can repeat the exercise,” he said. “I know where I went wrong. If we do it again, I can correct the timing.” Neji looked towards Lee, who gave him a thumbs up from where he was drinking water with Tenten.
“Not today.” Guy-sensei chuckled, giving Neji one of his regular smiles. “I think it’s time we took a break”
Neji blinked, and for a moment he thought he had misunderstood. How was he supposed to fix this mistake if he wasn’t given the opportunity?
“I’m not tired.” Neji said back, the words coming quickly, before he had properly considered whether they needed to be said at all, and once they were out he felt that same familiar urge to keep talking until the problem was resolved. “I can continue. We have enough daylight left, and I should be able to correct the mistake without difficulty if I-”
“I know you can, Neji,” Guy-sensei interrupted, though there was no sharpness in it. He stepped past Neji and retrieved a kunai that had fallen during the exercise, turning it over once in his hand before setting it with the rest of their equipment. “But we’re finished for today!”
Neji stared at him, unable to understand why the answer felt so wrong. The mistake was sitting in his mind, and the idea of simply walking away from it without proving that he could do better made his stomach tighten. He had spent years learning that mistakes were things to be corrected as quickly as possible, particularly when someone else had taken the time to point them out. Leaving one unresolved felt far too close to accepting it, to acknowledging that the mistake was made, and that was all there was.
“Neji,” Guy-Sensei said, touching Neji’s shoulder, “you made one mistake.”
“I know.” Neji answered, his voice tense. Guy-sensei sighed, and Neji immediately regretted his tone. He straightened slightly, preparing to apologize, but Guy-sensei only looked at him for a moment before his expression softened.
“Now you know what to work on tomorrow.” His sensei said in a gentle voice, before going towards Lee and Tenten.
The others had already begun packing their things by then. Tenten and Lee gathered the weapons they had scattered around the training ground. Neither of them seemed particularly concerned by Neji's mistake, or present attitude. Tenten glanced over when she realized he was still standing in the same place, and when she saw that he was not moving, she picked up the last of the equipment and gestured toward the path with the kunai.
“Are you coming?”
Neji looked toward her, then back at the training ground. The urge to stay was still there, but there was no reason to make the situation bigger than it needed to be. “In a moment,” he answered, and Tenten gave a small nod before turning away again. Neji remained where he was for another several seconds.
He could probably correct the movement on his own, he could return tomorrow having already worked through the problem, and then there would be no reason for Guy-sensei to be disappointed again. The solution was simple enough that Neji could not understand why he was still standing there instead of acting on it.
“Neji!” He looked up and found Lee standing a few feet away, holding out a canteen. Lee had returned without Neji noticing, and though his expression was as cheerful as usual, there was something watchful in the way he regarded him. “You have been standing there for a very long time,” he said, shaking the metal water bottle at Neji.
“I am thinking.” Neji huffed, though he accepted the water bottle, sipping from it slowly.
“I know. I too am eager to spar with you again, tomorrow!” Lee exclaimed, smiling widely. Neji smiled slightly, offering the canteen back to Lee, who accepted it without comment and tucked it away. They left the training ground together, Lee leading the way, as Neji had not been briefed on the day's post-training plans.
Neji expected it to bother him for the rest of the evening, and it did. He thought about it while they walked back toward the village, replaying the movement and considering where his judgment had failed, and he continued thinking about it while Lee talked animatedly about something that had happened during training the previous week. He thought about it when they reached the apartment, and when Guy-sensei complained loudly about all three of them needing to eat more vegetables. But as the day progressed, the thought became decentered, and eventually was simply background noise.
He sat at the table while Lee moved around the kitchen, and when Lee eventually placed a bowl of food in front of him, Neji accepted it without argument. Tenten was complaining about the portion she had been given, insisting that Lee had somehow managed to give Neji more despite having served them the same amount, and Guy-sensei had become involved in the argument despite nobody having asked him to, believing that this was somehow an important discussion about fairness and proper nutrition. Neji listened without contributing, his attention drifting occasionally to the window. He could still correct the mistake, but… tomorrow.
For tonight, however, he would remain where he was. Neji looked down at his food, and after a moment, he took another bite.