Work Text:
Saw the world from up close, it ain't much to look at compared to you in your work clothes, wavin' hello from the driveway. You've seen me in places so low, you can recognize when it's real bad.
All the miles in my legs, the late flights and missed birthdays. Out here I can hear your heartbeat, I can hear the start of a long sigh.
“Maybe… maybe we should just go.” Buck whispered as Chris sat back down at the table, and as soon as Chris opened his mouth to say something, Eddie’s eyes flickered to Theo and he murmured back so quietly, Buck almost didn’t hear him.
“Maybe you should.”
It felt like a punch to the gut, like a slap to the face, and Buck nodded crisply, “yeah, we’ll get out of your hair.” He began grabbing Theo’s things as Eddie slid back into his seat at the dinner table, head in his hands, and Chris turned from Buck to Eddie, eyes confused, eyebrows dipped in the middle.
“Wait, let me get the race car-” He began to get up again, but Buck shook his head as he picked up Theo, holding him with one arm, his toys with another.
“We’ll, uh, pick it up later, Chris.” He turned to leave, but before he did, he stopped at the door and turned back to Eddie. “See you Saturday, Eddie.”
“Bye, Buck.” Eddie didn’t even lift his eyes from the table to watch him go, and Buck dipped his head down in a sort of hopelessness as he walked to the car and clicked Theo into his car seat. The drive home was silent, Theo normally asked for music, but he hadn’t yet, and Buck wondered if Theo had picked up on what just happened.
That night, he tucked Theo into bed, pressed a kiss to his forehead, and sat on the couch nursing a beer. He thought about Eddie, about their friendship and how everything had changed so rapidly. They used to be Buck and Eddie, they used to be everything, and now, they were just shadows of who they used to be.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and Buck walked to get it with his beer, taking a sip as he pulled the door open, revealing Eddie on the other side.
“Come to rub it in my face?” Buck asked, turning around and walking into the house. Eddie followed him and he said something, but Buck missed it.
“What? Just admit it, Eds, your kid is great, and funny, and kind, and mine is deranged. Y’know, you never held your tongue back before, you’ve always been up front with your opinions, so why are you holding back now, huh? Theo’s asleep, go ahead, make fun of how I’m raising him, we both know you want to.” Buck blinked the tears out of his eyes and walked into the kitchen, setting the beer down on the counter and he turned on Eddie to see a hurt expression on his best friend’s face.
“Is that what you really thought I was gonna say?” Eddie snapped, forcing himself into Buck’s line of sight, and Buck blinked at him for a long moment.
“Yeah, Eddie, just telling the truth, right?”
“No, Buck…” Eddie stepped closer to Buck, and Buck took a step back, running into the counter top behind him. He was stuck, sandwiched between Eddie and the cupboards. “I-I’m gay.”
“What?!”
“And I love you.” Eddie took another step forward and Buck’s thighs hit the counter behind him as he continued to back up.
“You’re- you’re lying.”
“I’m not.” Eddie whispered, taking one final step into Buck’s space and Buck glanced at Eddie’s face. He wasn’t smiling, wasn’t frowning, his face was neutral, like the things he was saying were obvious. Like Buck had known all his life.
“Eddie, you just kicked us out of your house.”
“And I’m sorry about that, Buck. But sometimes I’ll be upset, and sometimes I’ll be cranky, but if this is gonna work, we have to be honest with each other.”
“How do you even know if I love you back? I may not.”
“Buck… do you love me back?”
His shoulders slumped, and Buck dipped his head to look at the floor, his face warmed as he nodded, and he heard a sound of relief from Eddie.
“Tu eras mío, Buck.”
“Eddie-”
“You’re mine.” And he closed the gap between them, taking the final step forward and his hands slid around to the back of Buck’s thighs as he lifted him onto the counter, stepped between his legs and kissed him.
Buck didn’t know a kiss could feel like that, it was like a home cooked meal, it was returning home from being away and falling into the routines you’d had for ages. It was everything, but also, it was nothing, and Buck sighed into it, nipping at Eddie’s bottom lip, and when he heard the noise Eddie made in response, his body lit aflame with desire.
“I want this.” Eddie murmured against Buck’s mouth, and Buck just laughed, dropping his face into Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie ran his hands through Buck’s hair and he couldn’t physically stand it, he had to kiss him again.
So he did.
Again and again and Eddie kissed him back every time.
“I love you, Buck.” Eddie whispered when they’d finally broken apart, lungs heaving and mouths kiss-bruised.
“I love you back.”
Tell me that I have substance, that I'm important, if it's only for letting dogs out, sweeping porches, to make me nothing.
Said, "I'm always tryna run from what I'm known for, " baby, that's the thing about a shadow.