Archive of Our Own

It had already been two months since Rudo had joined the Cleaners, and during that time, no one had seen the horrible scars he kept hidden beneath his gloves.

Everyone knew that whenever he took them off, the pain he felt was almost unbearable. However, only Riyo knew the real reason: those scars were the result of his biological father. Fortunately, she had decided to keep the secret, just as Rudo had asked her to.

He didn't want the others to see them. He thought they were horrible, and the mere thought of someone looking at them with pity or asking him questions about them made his stomach churn.

Although they hurt all the time, there were days when he barely noticed them and others when the pain became much more intense. Usually, it was bearable as long as he kept his gloves on. They didn't make the pain disappear completely, but at least they relieved it enough for him to go about his daily life without having to think about it constantly.

Except on days like today.

Rudo was rotting away in bed, curled up beneath the blankets, waiting for the pain to decide to disappear on its own.

Regto used to take care of him whenever he felt unwell, even though Rudo had never directly asked him to. Somehow, Regto always managed to figure it out. However, he wasn't there anymore, and Rudo didn't want to bother the others either.

They already had enough things to worry about without having to look after him, too.

He was lying on his side, his knees drawn up to his chest and his forehead resting against the pillow. The room was silent except for his uneven breathing and the occasional rustling of the sheets whenever he tried to find a position that would make his hands stop hurting.

But there wasn't one.

He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Fuck..."

He tried taking a deep breath, just as he had done before, but the pain was still there, spreading through his hands even through the gloves.

He pulled them against his chest, curling up even tighter.

Maybe if he stayed still long enough, it would eventually go away.

It always went away eventually, right?

At least, that's what he wanted to believe.

However, as the minutes passed, the pain only grew worse. Rudo began moving his fingers inside his gloves, desperately searching for a position that felt less uncomfortable. When even that didn't work, he let out a frustrated growl and buried his face in the pillow.

He hated this.

He hated being unable to do anything. He hated feeling so useless because of something he hadn't even chosen. And, above all, he hated that a part of him was still afraid someone might discover what he was hiding beneath those damn bandages.

He sat up slightly, resting his back against the wall. His hair was a mess, and his eyes were half-closed with exhaustion. He had barely slept that night, and he was beginning to feel the fatigue building up throughout his body.

He looked at his hands.

For a few seconds, he stared at them in silence, as though he expected the pain to disappear by some miracle simply because he was looking at them.

It didn't happen.

"Goddammit..." he muttered.

He pressed his hands against his chest and clasped one with the other, squeezing them tightly as if he could somehow contain the pain that way. His fingers curled around the gloves, and his shoulders tensed as he tried to endure it.

But it still hurt.

He squeezed even harder.

"Ah...! Fuck!"

A groan escaped through his clenched teeth. He loosened his grip for a moment, breathing rapidly, before clutching his hands again. He didn't know what he expected to accomplish by doing that. Maybe he needed to feel as though he had some control over what was happening to him, even if it was a lie.

His hands trembled slightly.

Rudo lowered his head and rested his forehead against his knuckles, keeping them trapped between his fingers.

He wasn't going to cry.

Not over this.

He had endured worse things before. Much worse.

He could take a little more.

He could always take a little more.

However, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise, the pain wouldn't subside. Every time he thought it was finally starting to ease, it intensified again, forcing him to curl in on himself and clench his fists.

He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to hold back another groan.

He didn't want anyone to hear him.

If someone came in and found him like this, he'd have to explain himself. And he didn't know which would be worse: them discovering his scars or them starting to worry about him.

He didn't need anyone to worry.

He didn't need anyone to take care of him.

He could handle things on his own.

After all, he always had.

Rudo closed his eyes and clasped his hands tightly again, digging his fingers into the fabric of his gloves as he tried to control his breathing.

"I just... have to hold on a little longer," he whispered to himself.

But his voice sounded far less convincing than he would have liked.

And for the first time that entire morning, as he sat alone on that bed, curled up on himself, Rudo wished someone would walk through that door.

Not to ask him questions.

Not to force him to talk.

Not even to try to fix what was happening to him.

He just wanted someone to stay by his side until the pain stopped.

But as soon as the thought crossed his mind, he shook his head and pressed his lips together.

How stupid.

No one was coming.

So he lowered his gaze to his hands again and held them even tighter, trying to ignore the pain that continued to spread through them.

However, no matter how hard he squeezed, how tightly he curled up, or how much he tried to distract himself, there was one thing he couldn't change.

The pain wouldn't stop.

The base cafeteria was fairly lively that morning. Some of the Cleaners were having breakfast before heading out to work, while others were taking advantage of their free time to rest or chat with their teammates.

Enjin was sitting at one of the tables, calmly drinking his coffee, although something kept nagging at the back of his mind.

Rudo hadn't shown up all morning.

At first, he hadn't thought much of it. The kid had a habit of disappearing from time to time, especially when he wanted to be alone. However, after nearly two hours without seeing him, Enjin had started to worry.

He frowned slightly as he took another sip of coffee.

Where the hell has that kid disappeared to?

Maybe he was still sleeping.

That wouldn't be unusual. Ever since Rudo had arrived at the base, Enjin had noticed that the boy barely slept. He always looked exhausted, with those huge dark circles under his eyes and an expression that suggested he hadn't slept in days.

Sometimes, even when he fell asleep on a couch, the slightest noise was enough to make him wake up with a start.

Enjin had tried not to pay too much attention to it at first. After all, everyone had their own habits, and Rudo didn't exactly seem like the type of person who would accept advice on how to get some rest.

But he was beginning to wonder whether it was normal.

What if he's finally getting some proper sleep?

The thought brought a small smile to his face.

Then again, there was also the possibility that the kid was changing his bandages.

Enjin hadn't failed to notice that Rudo always wore his gloves. He didn't even take them off when he was resting, let alone in front of other people. Besides, whenever someone mentioned his hands, the boy became particularly guarded.

Enjin had no idea what was beneath those gloves, but it was clear that something was going on.

And he wasn't the only one who had noticed.

"Have you seen Rudo this morning?" Gris asked from the other side of the table.

Enjin looked up.

Gris had set his newspaper aside and was watching him with some concern. He didn't seem to be asking out of simple curiosity.

"No. Why?"

"Nothing in particular. I haven't seen him at breakfast, and he didn't seem to be feeling very well yesterday either."

Enjin leaned back in his chair.

"I haven't seen him either. I was thinking he might still be asleep."

"Asleep?" Gris raised his eyebrows slightly.

"You know what he's like. That kid looks like he never sleeps. He's got enough dark circles under his eyes to scare someone."

Gris let out a small laugh through his nose, although his expression soon turned serious again.

"That's precisely what worries me."

Enjin tilted his head.

"What do you mean?"

Gris remained silent for a few seconds, as though trying to find the right words.

"His hands."

Enjin's smile slowly disappeared.

"What about them?"

"I don't know. But whenever he adjusts his gloves or someone gets too close to his hands, he seems uncomfortable. And yesterday, when I went to ask him if he needed anything, he immediately moved away from me."

Enjin lowered his gaze to his cup.

He had noticed it too.

He had seen Rudo clench his fists whenever he was nervous, hide his hands behind his back when someone showed too much interest in them, and even suppress little grimaces of pain when he thought no one was watching.

He didn't know exactly what was wrong, but he was sure it wasn't something insignificant.

"I have no idea what's going on with him," he finally admitted. "And honestly, I don't want to pressure him into telling me."

Gris watched him silently.

"Enjin..."

"Look, that kid's been through too much in far too little time." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "He was almost kidnapped by human traffickers. From what little he's told us, he's been through situations no child should ever have to experience, and whenever it looks like he might finally be able to relax a little, some other problem always comes along."

His expression softened.

"I don't know what the hell he had to endure before he got here, but it clearly wasn't anything good."

Gris slowly nodded.

They both knew Rudo wasn't exactly someone who talked about his feelings. The boy preferred to deal with his problems on his own, even if that meant making things worse in the process.

And, from what they'd observed over the past two months, asking for help was probably one of the hardest things for him to do.

"I don't want him to think he has to show us his hands just to put our minds at ease," Enjin continued. "If there's something he doesn't want us to see, he has his reasons. I'm not going to force him to talk about it."

"I don't think anyone wants to force him," Gris replied calmly. "I just want to make sure he's okay."

"I know."

Enjin stared at his coffee for a moment, turning the cup between his hands.

"But there's a difference between giving him space and letting him lock himself in a room while he's unwell."

Gris raised an eyebrow.

"So, what do you suggest?"

Enjin smiled slightly.

"I'm going to check whether he's still alive."

"Enjin!"

"What?! It's just an expression!"

Gris shook his head, although a small smile appeared on his face.

Enjin got up from his chair and stretched his arms above his head. Then he picked up his cup and placed it on the table's tray.

"If he's sleeping, I'll let him rest. If he's changing his bandages, I'm not going to walk in without knocking either. And if he simply wants to be alone... well, I can sit with him for a while."

"And what if he doesn't want you there?"

"Then he'll kick me out of the room. That brat's got more than enough attitude to do it."

Gris let out a brief laugh.

"That's true."

Enjin started walking toward the cafeteria exit but stopped before reaching the door.

"Hey, Gris."

"Yes?"

"If Rudo comes looking for you before I get back, don't tell him we were talking about his hands, okay?"

Gris looked at him seriously.

"I wasn't planning to."

"Good."

Enjin gave him one last smile and walked out into the hallway.

As he approached the bedrooms, his expression began to change. He no longer looked as carefree as he had when he left the cafeteria.

He didn't want to scare the boy or make him feel as though everyone was keeping an eye on him. Rudo already had enough reasons to distrust people without them giving him more.

But he couldn't ignore the unpleasant feeling that had been growing in his chest all morning either.

Come on, brat. I hope you're just sleeping.

When he reached Rudo's door, he stopped.

Not a single sound came from the other side.

Enjin raised his hand and gently knocked with his knuckles.

"Rudo? It's me."

He waited a few seconds.

No answer.

He frowned and knocked again, a little louder this time.

"Hey, sleepyhead. You awake?"

Silence.

Enjin leaned slightly toward the door, trying to hear any movement inside.

Nothing.

The concern on his face became more obvious.

"Rudo, I'm coming in, okay? If you're sleeping, I won't bother you too much."

He slowly opened the door, peeking inside first.

And then he saw him.

Rudo was lying on his side on the bed, curled up against the wall, his knees drawn to his chest and his head tilted forward. His shoulders were tense, and both hands were pressed tightly against his chest, clutching his gloves so hard it looked as though he was trying to keep something from escaping them.

He didn't look like he was sleeping.

Not at all.

"Rudo...?"

The boy raised his head slightly.

Enjin could make out his exhausted expression and the way he tried to hide it as soon as he realized someone had entered.

"What do you want?" Rudo muttered.

His voice sounded weaker than usual.

Enjin didn't answer immediately. His eyes moved down to the boy's hands before returning to his face.

Now he understood that something was wrong.

"Nothing special, brat," he finally replied, trying to sound casual. "I haven't seen you all morning, so I came to make sure you hadn't turned into a corpse under those blankets."

Rudo frowned.

"Go fuck yourself."

Enjin smiled.

"Ah, wonderful. You've still got enough energy to insult me. That's a good sign."

But Rudo didn't laugh.

He didn't even look up again. He simply curled in on himself a little more, pressing his hands against his chest as his jaw tightened once again.

Enjin's smile slowly faded.

This time, he didn't make another joke.

He closed the door behind him and approached the bed without invading the boy's personal space too much.

"Hey, Rudo. Are you feeling sick?"

"No."

The answer came far too quickly.

Enjin sat on the edge of the bed, leaving a reasonable distance between them.

"Right. And I'm a beautiful princess."

"What a shitty princess you'd make."

"Hey!"

Gris would have laughed at that exchange, but Rudo didn't even have the energy to argue properly. He simply curled up again, squeezing his hands against his chest while his jaw tightened.

Enjin watched as his fingers closed around his gloved hands once more.

He didn't need the boy to show him anything to realize he was suffering.

"You don't have to tell me what's wrong if you don't want to," he said after a few seconds. "But if you need anything, you can ask me."

Rudo remained motionless.

"I don't need anything."

Enjin sighed softly.

Stubborn little brat.

But he didn't say it aloud.

Instead, he settled a little more comfortably on the edge of the bed.

"Well, then. I'll stay here for a while."

Rudo abruptly raised his head.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"I didn't ask you to stay."

"And I didn't ask your permission to sit down."

"This is my room!"

"And what a lovely room it is! Although it could use a little more light."

Rudo looked at him as though he were seriously considering throwing a pillow at his head.

Enjin smiled, pleased that he had at least managed to make the boy look up.

"Just carry on with whatever you're doing, brat. You don't have to pay attention to me."

He rested his hands on his knees and stayed there without asking any more questions.

For the first time all morning, Rudo didn't have to worry about finding an excuse to kick someone out of his room.

Enjin didn't try to take off his gloves.

He didn't demand an explanation either.

He simply stayed by his side.

And although Rudo wasn't willing to admit it, not even to himself, that presence made a small part of him feel a little less alone.

Enjin remained seated beside Rudo for quite some time, respecting the silence that had settled over the room.

At first, the boy had tried to ignore him completely, pretending his presence didn't bother him. However, every few minutes, he changed positions, curled up tighter, or pressed his hands against his chest, as though trying to find some way to relieve the pain.

Enjin soon realized this wasn't going to get better on its own.

"Hey, brat... Are you sure you don't want me to call someone?"

"No."

"All right, all right. No need to bark at me."

Rudo let out a low growl and buried his face in the pillow again.

Enjin sighed.

Stubborn little brat.

It wasn't the first time he'd seen someone act tough when they were unwell, but there was something particularly worrying about the way Rudo clung to his own hands. He didn't seem merely uncomfortable. He looked as though he were trying to endure something that was completely overwhelming him.

And yet, he was still determined not to ask for help.

Enjin briefly stood up to take off his shoes and, after thinking for a moment, lay down beside him on the bed, making sure to leave enough space between them.

Rudo immediately raised his head.

"What the fuck are you doing?!"

"Resting. Can't you see I'm exhausted?"

"Then go to your own bed!"

"How rude. Is this how you treat people who come to visit you?"

"I DIDN'T INVITE YOU!"

"Details, details..."

Enjin smiled mischievously, but his expression soon softened when he saw Rudo curl up again.

The boy was breathing irregularly. He took short breaths, held them for a few seconds, and then slowly let them out, although every now and then a small whimper escaped him, which he tried to hide by gritting his teeth.

Enjin stopped joking.

Carefully, he brought a hand to Rudo's back and began rubbing it slowly, drawing small circles between his shoulder blades.

"Easy, brat. I'm not going to do anything to you."

Rudo tensed at the contact.

For a moment, Enjin thought he was going to pull away or snap at him with one of his usual retorts. However, the boy did neither. He simply remained motionless, his shoulders rigid and his hands pressed tightly against his chest.

Enjin continued rubbing his back without insisting or asking questions.

"You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to," he murmured. "You can rest for a while. I'll stay here."

Rudo didn't answer.

His breathing remained uneven, and every few seconds his fingers tightened around his gloves. Enjin could feel the tension in his body even through his clothes.

He hated seeing him like this.

Rudo always seemed ready to fight the entire world. He was foul-mouthed, distrustful, and extraordinarily talented at getting himself into trouble. But whenever someone tried to help him, he acted as though accepting even a little kindness were a personal defeat.

Enjin didn't know what had happened to make him that way.

And he wasn't going to force him to tell him.

For now, he would settle for getting the boy to stop trying to endure everything on his own.

"You know..." he said softly after a while. "If you fall asleep, I promise I won't draw a mustache on your face."

Rudo let out a strange sound, halfway between a growl and a muffled laugh.

"You're an idiot..."

"That's it! Much better! You finally sound like yourself again!"

"Shut up..."

"Whatever you say, Mr. Grumpy."

Enjin fell silent, although he couldn't help smiling.

For the next few minutes, he simply continued rubbing Rudo's back. Little by little, the boy's restless movements began to subside. He stopped shifting around so much, and his breathing, although still uneven, started to slow.

Exhaustion was finally catching up with him.

Enjin watched as the boy gradually loosened his fingers, allowing his hands to rest against his chest. His forehead remained furrowed, and every now and then a small shudder ran through his shoulders, but he seemed too tired to keep fighting the pain.

"That's it, brat... Get some rest."

Rudo didn't answer.

His eyelids slowly closed until, finally, he let his head fall against the pillow.

Enjin continued rubbing his back for a little longer, making sure he wouldn't startle when he shifted slightly.

Then, once he was sure Rudo seemed to have fallen asleep, he let out a sigh of relief.

"Finally..."

He hadn't slept particularly well the previous night either, and the quiet of the room was beginning to catch up with him.

He settled against the pillow, keeping one hand resting on Rudo's back, and closed his eyes, intending to rest for just a few minutes.

Just a few minutes.

It wasn't long before he fell asleep.

He had no idea how much time had passed when a sudden movement beside him woke him up.

At first, Enjin barely moved. Still half-asleep, he thought Rudo was simply changing positions.

Then he heard a whimper.

A muffled, trembling sound that was nothing like the growls the boy usually made whenever something annoyed him.

Enjin opened his eyes.

"Mmm...? Rudo?"

The boy was twisting and turning on the bed, curled up on himself with both hands pressed tightly against his chest. His breathing was rapid and erratic, and his shoulders were trembling as he tried to suppress the sounds escaping his throat.

"Ah...! Fuck...!"

Enjin sat bolt upright.

"Hey, hey! What's wrong?"

Rudo didn't seem to hear him.

He had curled into a ball, squeezing his eyes shut while trying to keep his hands still. However, the pain must have been too intense, because he kept moving his fingers inside his gloves, desperately searching for a position that might bring him some relief.

"Shit...! Shit, shit...!"

His voice broke at the end of the sentence.

Enjin felt the sleep vanish from him instantly.

"Rudo? Hey, look at me!"

He moved closer, trying to figure out what was happening without suddenly grabbing him or touching his hands.

Then he saw it.

A tear rolled down Rudo's cheek.

Enjin froze for a moment.

He had seen that boy get angry, argue, threaten people, and even face situations that would have made anyone else back down. He had seen him injured, exhausted, and frightened, even though Rudo always tried to hide it.

But he had never seen him cry.

Never.

And certainly never like this.

"Shit... Rudo..."

The boy pulled his hands even closer to his chest, curling up as another wave of pain ran through him.

"Make it stop...!" he sobbed between ragged breaths. "Fuck, make it stop already...!"

Enjin felt his stomach twist.

He didn't know what to do.

He didn't know exactly what was wrong with him or why his hands hurt so much, but it was clear that this wasn't something he could fix by sitting beside him and waiting for it to pass.

"Okay, okay. I'm here, can you hear me? I'm here."

He placed a hand on Rudo's back, gently stroking it as the boy struggled to catch his breath.

"Breathe slowly, brat. You don't have to endure..."

"I can't...!"

The answer came out broken and desperate.

Rudo gritted his teeth, but he couldn't hold back the next sob. He curled up even tighter, clutching his hands as though he were afraid someone would try to take them away from him.

Enjin immediately withdrew the hand he'd started moving toward his arms.

He wasn't going to touch his gloves without permission. He wasn't going to force him to show him anything.

But he wasn't going to let him keep suffering like this without doing something either.

"All right. All right, easy... I'm not going to touch your hands."

Rudo barely seemed to register his words. His eyes were squeezed shut, his face was wet, and every breath escaped him accompanied by a tremor.

Enjin swallowed hard.

What the hell is wrong with his hands?

The question had been nagging at him for weeks, but he'd never dared to press the issue. He'd assumed that when Rudo was ready, he'd tell them on his own.

Now, watching him cry in front of him, he realized that perhaps the boy had been suffering for far longer than any of them had imagined.

And he'd been hiding it all this time.

"Shit..." he muttered, running a hand through his hair. "Rudo, I need you to listen to me for a second."

The boy let out a whimper and shook his head.

"Please... I don't want to..."

"I know, I know. You don't have to explain anything to me right now."

Enjin leaned toward him slightly, trying to keep his voice calm despite the fear beginning to take hold of him.

"But it hurts a lot, doesn't it?"

Rudo didn't answer with words.

He simply pressed his hands against his chest and let out a sob that made Enjin's heart ache.

That was enough.

Enjin reached toward the bedside table, where he'd left his communicator before lying down. He grabbed it quickly and activated it.

"Gris! Gris, can you hear me?!"

There were a few seconds of static.

"Enjin? What's wrong?"

"I need you to come to Rudo's room right now!"

The tone of his voice must have alarmed him, because Gris answered immediately.

"What happened? Is he hurt?"

Enjin looked at the boy, who was still writhing on the bed, breathing unevenly and clutching his hands as tears streamed down his cheeks.

He had never felt so helpless.

"I don't know! His hands hurt like hell, and I can't get him to calm down! He's crying, Gris! I've never seen him like this!"

There was a brief silence on the other end of the line.

"I'm on my way. Don't force him to take off his gloves, and don't try to examine his hands if he doesn't want you to. I'll get medical help, too."

"Hurry the fuck up!"

Enjin ended the call and set the communicator aside.

He immediately returned to Rudo's side.

"Hey, brat. Gris is coming, okay? You won't have to endure this on your own."

Rudo weakly shook his head, his eyes still closed.

"No... I don't want them to..."

His voice disappeared into another groan.

"I don't want them to see..."

Enjin froze.

For the first time, Rudo had let something slip that sounded less like a complaint and more like a plea.

The boy clutched his hands even tighter, as though he feared someone would rip off his gloves the moment Gris walked through the door.

Enjin understood that his fear wasn't limited to the pain.

There was something else. Something Rudo had been trying to hide for a very long time.

He moved a little closer, without invading the space the boy had created around himself, and began rubbing his back again with slow movements.

"Listen to me, Rudo. No one's going to force you to show us anything, okay?"

The boy trembled beneath his hand.

"You don't have to explain what happened to you. Not now, and not until you're ready."

Rudo didn't answer.

He continued crying silently, his forehead pressed against the pillow and his hands clutched to his chest.

Enjin stayed beside him, stroking his back and speaking softly whenever the boy's breathing became too frantic.

Inside, however, he was terrified.

The sound of hurried footsteps in the hallway announced Gris's arrival just a few minutes later.

"Enjin!"

The door flew open, and Gris entered the room with a worried expression. He'd dropped everything he was doing as soon as he received the call, and Enjin's words were still echoing in his mind.

His hands hurt like hell. He's crying.

He wasn't prepared for what he found when he entered.

Rudo was still curled up on the bed, trembling slightly as he clutched his hands. His face was wet with tears, and he was breathing so irregularly that he seemed to be struggling even to form a word. Enjin was sitting beside him, rubbing his back and trying to calm him down with little success.

"Shit..." Gris muttered.

He immediately approached the bed and knelt beside it so he could be at the boy's level.

"Rudo, sweetheart, can you hear me?"

Rudo barely opened his eyes. When he recognized him, he tried to sit up, but another wave of pain forced him to curl up again.

"Ah...! Fuck!"

"Easy, easy," Enjin intervened, fighting the urge to do something more than sit there helplessly. "Don't try to get up."

Gris looked at his companion, searching for some explanation that might help him understand what was happening.

Enjin shook his head.

He knew nothing.

Not what exactly hurt, not why the pain had started, and not how long Rudo had been trying to endure it alone before he'd entered the room.

And that was precisely what worried him the most.

"We need to take him to the infirmary," Gris decided after a few seconds. "Eishia can examine him and figure out what's going on."

Enjin nodded immediately. He didn't like the idea of moving Rudo in that condition, but he couldn't leave him there waiting for the pain to disappear on its own either.

"Okay. I'll..."

"No!"

Rudo's voice interrupted them abruptly.

They both turned toward him.

The boy had raised his head and was staring at them with wide eyes. His breathing quickened again, and he pressed his hands against his chest as though they'd just threatened to rip away something he'd spent his entire life trying to protect.

"No... I don't want to go."

"Rudo, listen to me..." Gris began.

"I said no!"

He tried to move away from them, but immediately clutched his hands against his chest and let out a pained whimper.

Even so, he continued shaking his head.

"I don't want you to see them..."

Enjin felt his stomach twist.

"See what, brat?"

Rudo lowered his gaze to his hands.

His fingers trembled as he clutched his gloves, holding on to them with a desperation Enjin had never seen before.

"They're horrible..."

His voice cracked.

"They're... they're disgusting. I don't want you to see them. Please..."

The last words were barely a whisper.

Gris froze.

For weeks, he'd suspected that Rudo was hiding something beneath those gloves. He'd noticed how nervous the boy became whenever someone got too close to his hands and how he avoided any situation in which he might be forced to take them off.

But he'd never imagined that his fear went that far.

"Rudo..." he murmured.

"I DON'T WANT YOU TO!" the boy repeated, fresh tears gathering in his eyes. "I don't want you to see them! I don't want you to look at me like that!"

Enjin hurried closer, raising his hands to show him that he wasn't going to touch him.

"Hey, hey! No one's going to do anything without telling you first, okay? Easy."

"Don't tell me to calm down!"

"Okay! Okay, shit!"

Enjin fell silent.

He wasn't used to seeing Rudo so distressed. The boy usually responded to fear with anger, insults, or attempts to push away anyone who got too close. This desperation was different.

He didn't seem to be thinking clearly. The pain had completely overwhelmed him, and every time someone mentioned examining his hands, his distress grew worse.

Gris exchanged a glance with Enjin.

They couldn't keep going like this.

"Rudo, I'm going to talk to Enjin for a moment, okay? We're not going to touch your hands."

The boy didn't answer. He simply hid his face between his arms, refusing to let go of his gloves.

"Stay here, okay?" Enjin whispered to Rudo before moving away. "We'll be right back."

He received no response.

Rudo was still trembling.

Enjin gave him one last look before leaving the room with Gris.

They both entered the small bathroom next to Rudo's room and carefully closed the door.

For a few seconds, neither of them spoke.

Gris leaned against the sink and ran a hand over his face, trying to organize his thoughts.

"What the hell are we supposed to do?" Enjin finally asked quietly.

Gris sighed.

"I don't know. But we can't leave him like this."

"I know."

Enjin crossed his arms and began pacing back and forth in the cramped space.

"Fuck, Gris! You didn't see him! He was crying like..." He stopped, unable to finish the sentence.

He didn't even want to think about it.

The image of Rudo curled up on the bed, clutching his hands and begging him not to let anyone see them, kept replaying in his mind.

"I've never seen him like that," he continued, his voice quieter this time. "Never. That kid could be in the worst fucking shape, and he'd still tell you to go to hell if you tried to help him. But now..."

He rubbed the back of his neck in frustration.

"I don't know what to do with him."

Gris watched him with a serious expression.

"I know."

"I don't want to force him to show us his hands. If he's been hiding them for two months, he has his reasons. And if he's that afraid of us seeing them, I don't want to be the one who makes things worse."

"Enjin..."

"But look at him! He's in so much pain he can't even speak without bursting into tears! What the hell am I supposed to do? Sit beside him and wait for him to pass out?"

"No. That's why we need to bring Eishia here."

Enjin stopped.

"Into his room?"

"Yes."

"Gris, you just heard what he said. He's terrified of someone seeing his hands."

"And you've also seen how much he's suffering."

Gris didn't raise his voice, but his tone became firm enough to make Enjin stop moving.

"I know you don't want to force him. Neither do I. I'm not going to ask him to take off his gloves just to satisfy my curiosity, and I'm not going to let anyone treat him like some kind of spectacle. But he needs medical attention, and we don't know what's happening to him."

Enjin pressed his lips together.

"We could wait a little longer..."

"What if he gets worse?"

The question hung between them.

Enjin didn't answer.

Gris lowered his voice slightly.

"Listen. I understand that you want to respect his boundaries. It's important for Rudo to know he can trust us and that we won't force him to talk about things he doesn't want to discuss. But right now, he's suffering so much that he can barely think straight. We can't leave it up to him to decide whether he deserves help."

"I never said he didn't deserve help..."

"I know. I'm not saying you want to abandon him." Gris softened his expression. "I know you care about him, Enjin. That's why you're so worried."

Enjin looked away.

Damn it.

He hated it when Gris was right.

"But if we bring Eishia in and Rudo gets worse..."

"Then we'll have to explain what we're going to do and give him as much control over the situation as possible. We can ask Eishia to approach him slowly, speak to him before touching him, and avoid trying to take his gloves off by force. We won't know what he needs until she examines him, but we can make sure he feels as safe as possible."

Enjin remained silent, taking in his words.

"And what if he refuses?"

Gris took a deep breath before answering.

"Then we'll have to keep talking to him, reassure him, and find a way to get him to accept help. But we can't promise him that no one will examine his hands if that means leaving him to suffer without medical attention."

Enjin closed his eyes for a moment.

He knew Gris was right. He'd known it from the moment he'd seen Rudo crying, even though part of him still wanted to respect that desperate plea and avoid doing anything that might frighten him even more.

But how was he supposed to explain to a boy who seemed terrified of his own hands that he needed to let someone examine them?

Especially when they didn't even know what was beneath those gloves.

"I don't want him to think we're going to hurt him," he murmured.

"Then we'll have to show him we're not."

Gris pushed away from the sink and approached him.

"Enjin, listen. We're not going to force him to uncover his hands in front of everyone, and we're not going to demand that he explain where those scars came from. If he has them, if that's what he's hiding, we'll talk about it when he's ready. Right now, the important thing is figuring out why he's in so much pain."

Enjin raised his gaze.

"Do you think they're scars?"

"I don't know. It's a possibility, but I'm not going to jump to conclusions without having a medical professional examine him."

Gris paused.

"What I do know is that it's not normal for him to be suffering like this. I'm going to get Eishia and explain the situation before bringing her here. That way, she'll know what to expect and can approach him accordingly."

Enjin ran both hands through his hair.

"Fuck..."

"Stay with him. Don't leave him alone."

"I wasn't planning to."

Gris opened the bathroom door, but before leaving, he turned back toward his companion.

"And Enjin..."

"What?"

"Don't promise him that we won't examine his hands. Promise him that we won't do anything behind his back and that we'll explain every step. There's a difference."

Enjin stared at him for a few seconds before finally nodding.

"All right."

Gris left to find Eishia, leaving Enjin alone for a moment.

The man stood motionless, staring at the closed bedroom door.

Then he sighed and rubbed his face.

"Stubborn little brat..."

He didn't say it angrily.

He said it with a sadness he didn't even know how to express.

When Enjin returned to the room, he found Rudo in almost exactly the same position he'd left him in.

He was still curled up on the bed, his hands pressed against his chest and his head bowed. His breathing remained irregular, although his sobs had grown quieter.

Enjin approached slowly and sat beside him again.

"Hey, Rudo..."

The boy didn't raise his head.

"Gris went to get Eishia."

Rudo went completely still.

For a moment, Enjin thought he hadn't heard him. But then the boy abruptly raised his head and stared at him with red-rimmed eyes.

"What...?"

"She's coming to help you. We want to figure out what's wrong and make the pain go away."

Rudo shook his head.

"No. No, no, no..."

His breathing began to quicken again.

"Rudo, listen to me..."

"I SAID NO!"

He tried to move away, but immediately pulled his hands against his chest and let out a pained whimper.

Enjin felt the urge to grab him, but restrained himself. Instead, he placed a hand on the bed near him without touching him.

"I'm not going to let anyone do anything to you behind your back, okay? Eishia will talk to you first. We'll explain what we need to do and why."

"I DON'T WANT HER TO SEE THEM!"

"I know."

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

Rudo stared at him desperately, tears gathering in his eyes again.

"THEY'RE HORRIBLE! I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO SEE THEM! I DON'T WANT THEM LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!"

Enjin felt his heart ache.

He didn't know what that boy had experienced before arriving at the base, but it was clear that the thought of showing his hands frightened him far more than simple embarrassment could explain.

And even though he didn't fully understand that fear, he wasn't going to laugh at him or tell him he was overreacting.

"Rudo..." he murmured, trying to keep his voice calm. "I don't know what's beneath those gloves. I don't know why you're so afraid of us seeing them. But you don't have to explain it to me right now."

The boy lowered his gaze, trembling.

"I just want you to stop suffering, okay?"

Rudo pressed his lips together.

For a moment, he seemed about to answer, but the pain surged through his hands again, and he curled up with a muffled groan.

Enjin resumed rubbing his back slowly, trying to ignore the helplessness he felt.

"I'm here, brat. I'm not going anywhere."

And this time, Rudo didn't ask him to leave.

A few minutes later, hurried footsteps echoed through the hallway.

Enjin, who was still sitting beside Rudo, raised his head toward the door just as it opened. Gris entered first, followed by Eishia, who was carrying a small medical bag.

"How is he?" Gris asked as he approached the bed.

"Just as bad," Enjin replied quietly. "His hands still hurt like hell."

Rudo didn't raise his head. He remained curled up against the wall, his knees drawn to his chest and his hands pressed against his stomach. Every few seconds, a small whimper escaped him, which he tried to muffle against the fabric of his shirt.

Eishia placed her medical bag on the bedside table and approached slowly.

"Hello, Rudo. It's me, Eishia."

The boy barely reacted.

"I'm going to check how you're feeling, all right? I'm not going to hurt you."

Rudo pressed his lips together but didn't answer.

Eishia didn't insist. She sat on the edge of the bed, leaving some distance between them, and started by checking his temperature. When she finished, she frowned slightly.

"You have a bit of a fever."

"Is that bad?" Enjin asked immediately.

"Not necessarily, but given the pain he's experiencing, it's something we need to keep in mind."

Eishia continued examining him carefully. She checked his pulse, observed his breathing, and asked him a few questions about how he was feeling.

Rudo answered in single words, when he answered at all. He seemed exhausted, and every time he tried to move his hands, his expression twisted with pain.

"Does one hand hurt more than the other?" Eishia asked.

Rudo shook his head.

"Has this happened before?"

This time, he took longer to answer.

"Yes..."

"And is the pain usually this intense?"

Rudo shook his head again.

"Not usually..." He sniffled before continuing. "I can normally handle it. It's... bearable."

Enjin frowned.

Bearable? He calls this bearable?

He glanced at the boy's hands and then at his face, which was still hidden against his chest. He found it hard to believe that Rudo had endured this for so long without telling anyone.

"And what do you do when the pain gets worse?" Eishia asked.

"Nothing..."

"Nothing?"

"I stay still until it goes away."

Enjin had to stop himself from swearing.

That damn kid had been living with them for two months and, apparently, had decided that the best way to deal with such pain was to lock himself in his room and wait for it to disappear.

Eishia, meanwhile, kept her expression calm.

"All right, Rudo. Thank you for answering my questions. I'm going to try to relieve the pain, okay?"

The boy nodded weakly.

The doctor examined the affected areas again, paying particular attention to the parts where his skin seemed more irritated. After a few moments, her expression grew more serious.

"Gris, could you hand me the saline solution and gauze?"

"Of course."

Gris handed her the supplies and remained close to the bed, watching with concern.

"Rudo, some areas of your wounds look a little infected," Eishia explained. "It doesn't appear to be an extensive infection from what I can see right now, but I need to clean and disinfect them. I'm also going to apply an ointment to help your skin heal."

The boy raised his head slightly.

"Infected...?"

"Yes, but don't be frightened. I'll take care of it."

Rudo looked at his hand for a moment before hiding his face against Enjin's chest again.

"I'm sorry..."

The three adults exchanged glances.

"Why are you apologizing, brat?" Enjin asked, stroking his back.

"Because... I'm causing you trouble."

Enjin opened his mouth to answer, but Eishia spoke first.

"Rudo, you don't have to apologize for being sick. My job is to help you when you're unwell."

"But..."

"No buts," Enjin interrupted. "If anyone's causing trouble here, it's me. I've spent the entire morning trying to get this kid to listen to me, and I haven't accomplished a damn thing."

"I can hear you!" Rudo protested weakly.

"Oh, wow! The patient has regained his ability to speak!"

Although Rudo didn't quite laugh, his shoulders relaxed just a little.

Enjin took the opportunity to adjust him more comfortably against his chest, making sure he didn't have to put any weight on his arms.

"That's it, brat. Just stay here and let the adults take care of the boring stuff."

"You're the most boring one of all..."

Gris let out a small laugh, and even Eishia smiled before returning her attention to her work.

However, when the doctor brought the first damp piece of gauze close to the scars, Rudo tensed up again.

"I'm going to start cleaning your right hand," Eishia told him. "It might bother you a little. If you need a break, let me know."

Rudo nodded and pressed himself against Enjin's shirt.

Eishia began working with slow, gentle movements, removing the dirt from the affected areas. She tried not to apply unnecessary pressure, but even the lightest touch seemed to cause him pain.

"Ah...!"

Rudo shuddered and buried his face against Enjin's chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." he murmured almost instinctively.

"You don't have to apologize, sweetheart," Eishia replied. "I'm being careful. I need to clean the area properly to prevent the infection from getting worse."

She continued working, stopping whenever the boy became too tense.

Even so, tears soon began soaking Enjin's shirt again.

"Fuck...! It hurts!"

"I know, brat," Enjin whispered, rubbing his back. "You can grip my shirt as hard as you want. I won't complain."

"Shut up...!"

"That's better. You're insulting me again."

Rudo let out a small sob that turned into a shaky breath.

Enjin stopped joking and simply held him carefully, letting him hide his face for as long as he needed.

Eishia finished cleaning and disinfecting the first hand before applying a thin layer of ointment to the areas that needed it. Then she repeated the procedure on the other arm, paying the same attention to each injury.

It was a slow process.

The scars extended almost to his elbows, and judging by what Rudo had said, both hands hurt even when he wasn't using them. His skin seemed particularly sensitive, and simply cleaning it caused him to shudder and let out the occasional whimper.

When Eishia finished, she set the used supplies aside and examined his hands for a few moments.

"All right. For now, we've cleaned and disinfected them. The ointment will help treat the affected areas, but we'll need to monitor how they heal. If the infection gets worse, we'll need to adjust the treatment."

Rudo didn't answer. He was too busy trying to catch his breath.

"Now I'm going to wrap your arms in clean bandages," the doctor continued. "After that, you can put your gloves back on if that makes you feel more comfortable."

At that, the boy raised his head slightly.

"Really...?"

"Of course. You don't have to leave your hands uncovered if you don't want to."

Rudo nodded again and let Eishia carefully wrap his arms in fresh bandages. She made sure not to wrap them too tightly or put pressure on the painful areas.

When she finished, she handed him his gloves.

Rudo immediately took them, holding them against his chest before slowly and carefully putting them back on.

His expression changed slightly once he had them on. They didn't seem to make a huge difference to the pain, but at least he felt a little more comfortable.

"All right, Rudo. Now I need to give you something for the pain," Eishia announced as she gathered some of the supplies.

The boy cautiously raised his head.

"What?"

"Some medication that should help you feel better."

"Okay..."

Eishia opened her medical bag and began preparing the next part of the treatment. However, when Rudo saw her take out a syringe, his expression changed immediately.

"No."

Enjin looked down at him.

"What is it now, brat?"

"Not that."

Rudo tried to sit up, although the exhaustion and pain meant he barely managed to move a few inches.

Eishia placed the syringe on a tray without bringing it any closer to him.

"Rudo, you need something to help control the pain. You haven't eaten anything all morning, and I don't want to give you an oral medication that's strong enough to be effective without first checking what you can tolerate. That's why I was considering administering it by injection."

The boy stared at the syringe with an expression of utter disgust.

"I hate needles..."

"I figured," Enjin murmured.

"Then stop smiling!"

"I'm not smiling!"

In reality, Enjin had been trying to hide a small smile, but he decided that this wasn't the time to admit it.

Eishia sat down beside the bed again.

"I know you don't like them, Rudo. But this medication can help relieve your pain. I'll explain where I'm going to give it to you and how I'll do it before I start. All right?"

Rudo lowered his gaze.

Normally, he would have argued until someone offered him another option. He probably would have tried to get up, move away from the tray, or convince Eishia that he didn't need anything.

But he was exhausted.

His hands hurt, his head felt heavy, and he felt as though he didn't have the strength left to argue.

Besides, he was still clinging to Enjin's promise.

I'm not going to hate you because of your hands.

Rudo pressed his lips together.

"Will it hurt?"

"You'll feel the prick, yes. I'll try to make it as quick and comfortable as possible."

"Shit..."

"That's a very accurate description of the situation," Enjin commented.

Rudo weakly bumped his forehead against Enjin's chest.

"Shut up..."

Enjin let out a soft laugh and stroked his hair.

"Come on, brat. The sooner we finish, the sooner you can rest. And I haven't forgotten about the sweet treat."

Rudo raised his head slightly.

"You promise?"

"Of course. Who do you take me for?"

"An idiot."

"An idiot who's going to buy you something sweet!"

Rudo let out a small snort.

Then he hid his face against Enjin's chest again and nodded weakly.

"Okay... Do it."

Eishia explained where she was going to administer the injection and waited until he was ready. Meanwhile, Enjin held him close, stroking his back and speaking softly to distract him.

"Don't look at the needle, brat. Look at my beautiful face."

"I'd rather look at the needle..."

"What kind of answer is that?!"

This time, Rudo managed a small laugh.

It was brief and weak, but enough to make Enjin genuinely smile.

Eishia took advantage of the moment to administer the medication using the usual procedure. The prick made Rudo tense up and squeeze his eyes shut, gripping Enjin's shirt tightly.

"Ah...!"

"All done, all done," Eishia assured him as she finished. "You did very well."

Rudo opened one eye suspiciously.

"Already?"

"Already."

The boy looked at the tray and then at Eishia, as though he suspected she might pull out another needle at any moment.

"There's no more?"

"No, don't worry. We're done with that for now."

Rudo let out such a deep sigh that Enjin couldn't help laughing.

"My goodness, brat. You looked like you were being led to the slaughterhouse."

"I hate you..."

"Yeah, yeah. I like you too."

Rudo rested his head against Enjin's chest again.

This time, he didn't protest when Enjin wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

In fact, he seemed far too tired to do so.

Eishia gathered the supplies and came closer to check on him. His eyelids were growing heavier, and his breathing was beginning to return to a calmer rhythm.

"Rudo? How are you feeling?"

"Tired..."

"Does it still hurt a lot?"

The boy took a few seconds to answer.

"Yeah... But... I think it's a little better."

Eishia nodded.

"Good. The medication needs some time to take effect. I'll stay nearby in case you need anything."

Rudo mumbled something unintelligible against Enjin's shirt.

"What was that?" Enjin asked.

"Telling you to shut up..."

"Oh, no! After everything I've done, you're still using me as a pillow!"

Rudo didn't answer.

Enjin looked down.

The boy had closed his eyes, and his body seemed to have relaxed for the first time all morning. He was still holding on to Enjin's shirt, although his fingers had lost some of their earlier tension.

"Rudo?"

No answer.

"Brat?"

The boy let out a small sigh and snuggled a little closer against him.

Enjin blinked.

"Did he fall asleep?"

Eishia came closer to observe him and confirmed that his breathing was calm.

"It seems so. This medication can cause drowsiness, so I'm not surprised he fell asleep so quickly, considering how exhausted he was."

Enjin looked at the boy sleeping against his chest.

Just a few minutes earlier, Rudo had been crying and trembling with pain. Now, at last, he seemed to have managed to get some rest.

Enjin carefully brushed a lock of hair away from his forehead.

"Fuck, brat... You gave us quite a scare."

Gris, who had remained near the door throughout the procedure, finally approached the bed.

"How is he?"

"Asleep," Eishia replied. "The medication should help with the pain, but we'll need to keep monitoring him."

Eishia looked at the clean bandages covering Rudo's arms before turning her attention back to Enjin.

"When he wakes up, I want to check his wounds again. I need to see how they're responding to the treatment and monitor the infection."

"And what do we do now?" Gris asked.

"For now, let him rest. Don't take his gloves off, and make sure he doesn't put too much weight on his arms. If the pain gets worse, his fever rises, or any other concerning symptoms appear, notify me immediately."

Enjin nodded.

"Got it."

Eishia packed the remaining supplies into her medical bag and prepared to leave, but she stopped beside the bed first.

She watched the boy for a few seconds.

Despite everything she'd just discovered, he was still the same boy who had arrived at the base two months earlier. A boy who, for some reason, had learned to hide his suffering to the point of preferring to endure unbearable pain rather than let anyone see his hands.

And that wasn't something she intended to ignore.

"I'll come back later," she said quietly. "In the meantime, let him rest."

Gris nodded and accompanied Eishia to the door.

Enjin remained seated on the bed with Rudo asleep on top of him.

He glanced at the bandages covering the boy's arms before looking down at his face.

"Hey, brat..." he whispered, even though he knew Rudo couldn't hear him. "Next time you're feeling like this, maybe try telling me before you wait until you're practically dead, you know?"

Rudo simply continued breathing peacefully against his chest.

Enjin sighed and rested his head against the wall.

"Yeah, sure. I'm talking to a wall."

Even so, he didn't try to move him.

He settled as comfortably as he could to make sure Rudo was comfortable and ran a hand down his back again, careful not to brush against his bandaged arms.

And while the boy slept, exhausted after a morning none of them would easily forget, Enjin made a decision.

When Rudo woke up, he was going to buy him the sweet treat he'd promised. And, for once, he wasn't going to let the brat argue that he didn't need it.