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"You lied to me!" Jackie said after she shut the door on, "you promised me we will go to theater this friday"
"I forgot-"
"But I waited!"
All Shauna could give in answer now was a big confused eyes, Jackie folded her arms, this was Shauna's four times to ditch her for a date. What did she do to deserve this?
"I'm sorry Jackie.." Shauna finally spoke.
"You always say this Shipman," Jackie chuckled bitterly, "I thought you care about me." She counted all the things that were bothering her, "You barely see me, you never speak about your college, and everytime you're back here in New Jersey, you never actually around me, why?"
Shauna stood up from the edge of Jackie's bed in front of her, "Jackie.." she smiled, "you know I still love you," she put her palm on her girl's heart, "I'm always here." Jackie felt a warmth against her will, but what's that supposed to mean? She was never there when she needed her and somehow she always tells her the things that could make Jackie calm or at least they were the things that Jackie needed to hear, anything that she wanted from Shauna to say to her, but now she just needed her existence, not her words.
"Jackie, honey!" Her mom called called her from downstairs, "I can't find my hairclip, do you have it?"
But Jackie didn't listen, she was still staring impatiently at her girlfriend she wanted answers but Shauna was looking at her, with the most calmest eyes ever like there was never anything wrong between them. And finally she took a breath only to say, "I'm sorry."
Then Jackie's mom opened the door, "Jackie, you heard me??"
"What?" Jackie turned her head to the door, "No- I was talking to Shauna."
"Jackie.." Her mom's voice broke a little, "Oh dear."
Jackie was confused, she looked at Shauna to tell her something but.. she wasn’t there, she was never there.
She remembered Shauna Shipman, her best friend, her lover, in a plane crash, with her, for months they spent their teenage lives out in wilderness and her relationship with Shauna totally collapsed after she found her diaries and realized Shauna has slept with Jeff - her ex boyfriend - plenty of times.
She remembered their fight, their silences after yelling at each other and also... she wished to remember the fact that she let Shauna get out of the cabin because she yelled at her to do that. And Shauna actually did, Shauna left and never stayed outside the cabin, the next morning she wasn't there anymore, not a single clue to led a sign to tell her where she is.
Shauna became a part of wilderness, and Jackie wanted to go back there to there, to her.