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Bonnie's room had gone quiet for the night. It was dark, lit by little more than a neighbor's porch light. It slipped in through the window and blanketed part of the hardwood floor in a soft glow barely noticeable to anyone.
Rex and Trixie had claimed the beanbag, both out cold. Slinky lay sprawled across the shelf with no intention of moving any time soon. Forky and Karen sat propped together against the desk, hands still joined. Mr. Pricklepants was reading by a nightlight while the Potato Heads tucked the aliens in beside the beanbag for the night. Dolly and Buttercup were whispering to each other so as not to wake anyone up. Bullseye had curled up beside Bonnie on the bed, fast asleep.
Lily was on the nightstand nearby, in sleep mode. Nobody had asked how she got up there from the floor. She had somehow hopped up on her own.
Buzz stood on the edge of the windowsill, arms crossed behind him, staring off into the backyard and night sky.
Jessie spotted him from her spot on the bed. She'd been watching him for the last few minutes. His attention went from the left to the right like a security guard taking his job a little too seriously. Every minute or so, he would look at one end of the backyard, then the other. Occasionally, he would look up into the sky only to redirect his attention to a neighbor's house. Now and again, one hand would slip free to tap the star sticker on his chest to make sure it hadn't gone anywhere.
She tugged the end of her braid, then let it go. Something didn't feel right. They had been home for days, with everything seemingly back to normal except for the fact that she and Buzz were now married. According to Mr. Pricklepants, they should be in the middle of marital bliss, and for the most part they were, but Buzz was in a sour mood. He tried to hide it from Jessie. He seemed a little off, and he was only getting more dismissive of her with each passing day.
She climbed up to join him on the windowsill and stood beside him.
“So, whatcha doin'?” she asked, keeping her hands held down in front of her.
Buzz didn't look at her. “I am on watch.”
“You're on watch in a room full of sleepin' toys and a little girl. The only thing in danger is Pricklepants gettin' to the end of his book and wanting to talk about it.” She gave him a second before moving closer to nudge his elbow with hers. “Hey, you've been acting like a little ol’ thundercloud for the last few days. Wanna talk to me, Deputy?”
His jaw tightened at ‘Deputy’. He side eyed her, then looked away.
“I have a question.” he replied. “And I would like to ask it without it becoming an argument.”
Jessie felt her stuffing clench. He sounded serious and it unnerved her more than she was willing to let on. “Okay.” she kept her voice steady.
Buzz pulled in a breath and held it. His hand drifted up to the sticker and covered it.
“Woody said you called him for help.”
Jessie felt her phantom heart skip a beat.
“That night in the closet, I asked if you were okay. You said you were fine and did not need backup.” His voice stayed even. “I took you at your word. Then Woody turned up out of nowhere.”
“Oh…”
“I am not accusing you of anything. You and Woody have a special bond, and I will never come between that. But I am your deputy. You gave me this star yourself. And when it mattered, you did not come to me. You went to him.”
Jessie looked down at her hands. Her cuffs suddenly needed a lot of attention.
The walkie talkie was no secret. Everyone knew they could use it to reach Woody. But Buzz had noticed how fast she tossed it in the box that night, and how she steered him away from it. He hadn't asked. He told himself that she had her reasons.
He let it go and didn't think about it until he saw Woody at the window. After that, he could think of little else.
Jessie let out a slow breath. She opened her mouth to speak and he cut her off.
“I simply want to understand. Why did you not come to me?”
- Of course, he's been chewin' on this. - she thought. She should have seen it coming. One minute Buzz was fine, the next he looked like somebody had flipped a switch. She'd chalked it up to him being tired after the wedding. Everything leading up to it had worn everyone out.
She sat down, legs crossed, and patted the spot beside her. For a few seconds, he didn't move. Then he lowered himself next to her, back against the window frame.
Jessie waited until he met her eyes. “Okay, honest answer?”
Buzz nodded.
“I didn't call him for help exactly.”
Buzz tilted his head.
“I was calling to ask him if what the other toys were saying was true about tech takin' over. Lily had shown up and taken all of Bonnie's attention, and it got me thinkin' about Emily.” She picked at one of the buttons on her cuffs. “He told me to trust my gut, and that's where the sleepover idea came from. Then you walked in, I panicked and shoved the walkie talkie in the box. I told you I didn't need backup, Deputy. I was talking to you, Buzz. I wasn't talking to him.”
“I heard what you said.”
“I know you did, but I think the walkie talkie was still on.” she winced. “Signal probably glitched when I tossed it in the box. Woody must've got half of what I said and ran with it. Of course the half he heard was ‘Need backup, Deputy’.” She shrugged at the silliness of it all.
Buzz stared at her.
“I don't think he heard me say ‘don't’. He thought I was callin' for him to come to the house. I didn't even know that's what he did until I saw you two ride up on Blaze's horses.”
“You did not know.”
Jessie shook her head. “Not until I saw him with you.”
For a short while, Buzz said nothing. His thumb moved against his knee.
A part of him didn't want to believe her, fearing that she had asked Woody for help because she thought he was incapable. But he knew Jessie was not a liar. It was unlike her to hide anything from him unless she had a good reason. He looked at her and watched as her fingers continued to rub a button on her cuff. The neighbor's porch light hit her face just enough to reveal that her eyes were bright and a little glassy. Her brows were drawn tight, and she was watching him with an expression so hopeful and so afraid that the last of his resolve crumbled beneath him.
“When Woody said you had called for help and we both said we were your deputy…” he trailed off. “I didn't know if I was being replaced.”
Jessie shook her head.
“Replaced? Buzz, nobody could replace you.” She almost laughed, picturing the look on both their faces, but she caught it just in time.
“But that's the thing.” Jessie said softly. “Woody's been through this before. You know that better than anyone.”
Buzz's gaze dropped to the floor, his thumb gone still against his knee. He remembered Andy's room, and Woody's attitude toward the flashy new toy. It was hard to believe that they had ever started out that way.
“He's been scared of losing his time with a kid. He knows what it's like. We would have talked it through, and he would have given me advice. Then he would have come over if things got serious. If I told you…” She tried her best to stop playing with the button on her cuff.
She shifted in her spot and placed her hat beside her. “You'd have made it your mission to help me deal with Lily. You wouldn't stop until I was happy and if it didn't work out, I'd have had to watch you blame yourself.”
Buzz opened his mouth to argue, then stopped himself. It was irritating how right she was. Give him a problem, and he would work at it until it was solved. He could already see a strategy for handling Lily, a list of everything that might work. If nothing worked, he would have carried that failure on his shoulders for a long time. When Lily got the others put into storage, he felt like he failed horribly. The mere thought of failing that mission had left him with a bad taste in his mouth.
“I was in the room.” Buzz sighed. “I didn't know where you were. I didn't know if you were safe. Then Woody told me to stay behind so he could go find you.” He reached for her hand and she took it. She could feel his grip tightening.
“When someone is missing, I can't just stay behind. Woody knows that and he tried to keep me home anyway.”
Jessie nodded and squeezed his hand back.
“I was your deputy, and I was being sidelined while you might have been in danger.” His voice cracked on the last word. He cleared his throat and straightened the sticker out of habit.
“I was not about to let anyone stop me from bringing you home. Even Woody.”
“I know. I heard you two nearly went at it like a couple of dogs fightin' over a steak.” Jessie smiled, though her lip quivered slightly. She put a hand on his shoulder. “Buzz, listen. You didn't fail at anything. I don't want you thinking you did. You were doing exactly what a deputy does. Being my backup.”
His mouth tightened. His gaze dropped to the sheriff badge pinned on her chest, the one Woody had given her years ago.
- She's not trying to leave me out. She's sparing me? - the thought irked him a little.
This was not what he had first assumed. Being spared was not an easy thing for him to accept either.
“I would like to be the person you go to first.” he said. “In the future, if it is acceptable.”
Jessie gave him a small smile. “It's more than acceptable.” she said. “You're the first. Starting right now.”
“Even when you are frightened.”
“Especially when I'm frightened.”
Buzz nodded once. The tension in his back finally eased.
“Thank you, Sheriff.”
She giggled and leaned into his side. His arm came up and wrapped around her shoulders, moving her braid a little as it went.
“There is one more thing.” he said.
“Hmm?”
“It is minor and doesn't need to be done right away.” He laughed and stared straight out the window. “Woody still thinks he's your deputy. I would like to put it to rest.”
“Okay?”
Buzz sat himself up a bit and smiled. “May I tell him that he's not your deputy?”
“Buzz, don't.”
“I will let him down gently.”
“I can tell him myself.” Jessie giggled.
“But I want to do it.”
“Pffft, I know ya do.”
He stayed where he was, arm steady around her. On the nightstand, Lily's eyes opened slightly, then closed. Whether she'd been listening in sleep mode or not, nobody knew. On the bed, Bullseye shifted in his sleep and let out a happy huff. The nightlight hummed. Outside, the darkness at the window was slowly turning to light.
“Jessie.” Buzz said after a while.
“Mm?”
“I'm proud to be your deputy.”
“What about husband?” she teased, thinking he had forgotten about the other title he picked up.
“That especially.”
She reached up and pressed the edge of the sticker flat.
“Come on, Deputy.” Jessie said. “Bonnie will be up soon. We should get some sleep while we can.”
Buzz looked out the window. The sky was a shade lighter now, and the sun was slowly creeping into view. He guessed they had enough time for a two hour nap. “Agreed.”
She put her hat back on, and they slipped down to the floor and crossed the room, tiptoeing so as not to disturb anyone who was asleep or, in Mr. Pricklepants' case, reading. Jessie nudged the closet door open just enough for them to fit through, then pulled it shut behind them. In the corner, an old blanket was still folded where she'd left it for quiet times such as this. She sank onto it with her back against the wall, and Buzz lowered himself next to her, his arm finding its way around her shoulders again.
After a few minutes went by, the walkie talkie crackled from the box beside them.
“Jess? Hello? You up? Just checking in to make sure you guys are okay.” Woody's voice was low and barely louder than a whisper.
She lifted her head. Buzz was already looking at the box, squinting at the disturbance.
Jessie caught the look on his face. It was barely sunrise, and he was already annoyed with Woody.
“Go on. Tell him yourself.” Jessie said with a yawn. She was too sleepy to argue.
Buzz thought it over as he looked at the walkie talkie, then back at her with a smile, and his arm tightened around her. “I will do it later.”